Here are some little bits of Whatnot that don’t deserve their own posts…
If you’re a waitress who has to put up with my dad’s terrible jokes, I’ll make sure you get a good tip.
The guy who takes tickets on my train wore a Phillies tie a few weeks ago that had flashing lights on it. I thought it was a special occasion tie, but now all of his neckwear has flashing lights on it. I guess if you find your thing you should run with it.
Is there a more polarizing food in the world than tomatoes?
If you’re one of the first kids to come to my house on Halloween, you’ll get a lot of candy. As the night goes on, you’ll get less. If all that’s left are Take 5 bars, you’ll get spare change. (Sorry, Take 5s must be preserved at all costs.) If you’re an adult with no children and no costume you’ll get dirty looks.
I do dozens of impersonations. The only one that makes my alliance partner laugh? Ray Romano. It’s not even words, it’s just mumbling. It sounds more like a wookiee than anything.
If I were a criminal, I’d paint the tip of my gun bright orange.
Tags: halloween, my life as a criminal, ray romano, take 5
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