‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 1: Wrist Watch Edition

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Kass is voted out this week, Jenn and Max will each receive nineteen points and Gordon will receive eighteen points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 0

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 0

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 0

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Terry: Still #1. Even though his alliance didn’t win last episode. I don’t care. He’s not going to be voted out anytime soon. And he looks like Mitt Romney. And that’s great.   1. Joe: Joe makes fire! Joe does yoga! Joe catalyzes the sexual awakening of a fellow contestant’s daughters! I’m starting to wonder if this whole season isn’t just a ploy to get Joe more Instagram followers.
 1. Kelley: In a season that’s bound to have big moves and and big twists, the immunity idol is more valuable than ever. Kelley was clearly the star of the episode by keeping her head off of the chopping block and an idol in the pocket of her shorts. Sneaky sneaky!
  2. Kelley: She has an idol now. I was so stoked when she finally grabbed that thing. Totally double rooting for her now. She’s not on the chopping block for next week either, that’s definitely going to be Shirin or Spencer or Varner. Or maybe Abi. Probably not Abi though. Whatever. She’ll be fine.
 2. Jeff: For someone who first played way back in season 2, Varner might be the most New-School player out there. Following Ta Keo’s immunity challenge loss he abandoned his pre-game Conference Call Alliance in favor of a partnership with the Beach People. And previews for this week suggest he’s already prepared to flip back. Varner’s balls are to the wall. His ass cheeks are between the pinchers of a crab. And he’s playing his heart out. But does he have a plan? I’m not sure. All I know is that I can’t wait to see what he does next.
 2. Ciera: Vytas’s early trip home was bad news for the Baskauskas family’s “Survivor” legacy, but good news for Ciera. Having him on the other side was always going to put a target on her back. A “Let’s get rid of Rachel to get to Tyson” target. Now she’s truly free to play any game she wants.
  3. Andrew: I think the Savage/Fishbach tree vs stick montage was one of the best and funniest things I’ve seen in ages on “Survivor.” It’s nice to see funny (expletive deleted) instead of constant STRATEGY STRATEGY STRATEGY being thrown down our throats. I like Andrew so far. He seems strong and smart and in a good position currently.   3. Kelley: Drew Christy was right: Kelley Wentworth is dangerous. Now I can’t help but wonder what else Drew was right about. I feel like we need to go back and review the San Juan Del Sur tapes for other nuggets of badass wisdom that we might have ignored at the time.
 3. Peih-Gee: Normally the first boot will show you where alliance lines break, but I don’t buy it. I think we’ve got Terry/Kelly, Spencer/Shirin, Peih-Gee/Kelley, and Jeff, Woo, and Abi as floaters. Of those, Peih-Gee and Kelley seem the safest and most likely to be swing votes.
  4. KEITH NALE: Keith is still doing just dandy. His tribe isn’t losing anytime soon. They just voted out a strong player. Why did they do that? Who knows? Should’ve been Abi. She was already showing her crazy.
  4. Jeremy: Unlike some of his fellow castaways, Jeremy doesn’t need to reinvent his game. Instead, he’s making subtle modifications to the strategy he employed in San Juan Del Sur. The key to his new gameplan is ripped directly from the playbook of “Survivor’s” most recent champion, Mike Holloway: use Joey Amazing as a shield. It worked for Mike. I can’t see why it won’t work for Jeremy.
 4. Keith: Keith and Jeremy putting their pasts behind them is the best thing for both of their games. Now let me be the millionth person to say, “Keith, stick with the plan.”
 5. Jeremy: Again. Jeremy is awesome, sweet dude, and I haven’t even seen anything “alliance-y” going on on this tribe so it leads me to believe they aren’t going anywhere near Tribal anytime soon. I mean really? There was no strategy even being shown on this tribe last episode. Its like they want us to know they aren’t going to lose.
 5. Keith: 99% of Americans prefer having a cup of coffee and going to work over doing Joega. You know what else 99% of Americans prefer? Keith Nale.
 5. Woo: There’s no reason to boot Woo at this point. He’s a floater who’s good at challenges. Now is the time to lock him down on your side.
 6. Ciera: Literally everyone from rankings #6-12 are in the “nothing is happening here” boat.
 6. Andrew: You might be Old School if… Your children told you whom to align with before you went out on the island.
 6. Monica: Ugh…nothing’s worse than ranking a team with no clear dominant alliance and no clue who has their idol. Is Monica in with the bro-liance? Too early to tell. I don’t see a reason to boot her early though.
 7. Monica: See above.   7. Spencer: Spencer’s learned an important lesson: strong social bonds can trump even the most brilliant strategic gambit. But did anyone else feel that Spencer came off as a little smarmy in his interactions with Terry?
 7. Tasha: If Tasha was bugging everyone in the pre-game, it certainly didn’t take long for some of them to get over it. She’s the least likely target in the bro-liance and she’s having a grand old time doing morning beach Joe-ga.
 8. Tasha: I have nothing to say here. Nothing happened. She’s not going home next.
  8. Terry: See “Andrew Savage.”
 8. Jeremy: Kudos to Jeremy for being a man with a plan and making it happen. He wanted big targets around him, and now he’s got them. He’d better not get complacent though; Joe, Tasha, and Savage are all capable of chicanery.
  9. Kimmi: I didn’t even see her in the episode.
  9. Tasha: It’s kind of a shame that Tasha’s most memorable moment from the first episode was her comment about Joe’s body.
 9. Kelly: Yeah, you blew the gate thing, but Joe’s been practicing for it his whole life. And I believe it was Vytas’s idea for you to do it in the first place. Now’s the time to pick up the pieces and figure things out. You’ve got plenty of time.
  10. Stephen: He’s searching for the idol and is pushing himself as the “nerd” so hard it’s upsetting me to watch. Try to blend in. Your tribe isn’t losing anytime soon. Just don’t stand out too much. Or run a whole thing with the ladies to get out the giant challenge men. Do something. Do nothing. Do less. Do more. I don’t know. I don’t think he’s going home this week.
  10. Monica: Monica got a courtesy confessional in episode one. She’s off everyone’s radar. And that’s a great place for her to be.
  10. Jeff: Varner…you were delivered onto a tribe with all of your pre-season buddies! What went wrong? Were you worried about a tie? Luckily for you, I don’t think that bridge was completely burned. Going immediately to Tribal freaked you out! You weren’t going to pick rocks! Something bit your behind!
 11. Joe: Coming on too strong, my boy. You’re making the same mistakes you did last time. Don’t make fire for everyone! Don’t lead the tribe in group yoga! DON’T DO THAT. YOU ARE A TARGET. START BEING BAD AT THINGS OR YOU ARE GOING HOME.
 11. Ciera: No, really. I wasn’t joking. She voted out her mom.
  11. Andrew: Oh, “Macho Man” Andrew Savage…those leader speeches are going to get you in trouble. Not this week, but someday.
 12. Peih-Gee: She was at the wrath of Abi’s insane bracelet hunt. That’s about all that happened with her.
 12. Kelly: Sometimes I think Kelly would have been happier on a Discovery Channel show.
 12. Terry: Ya got, Varner Bombed! That Tribal was a tough one. Your pre-game alliance just sent the brother of your former rival, now bestie home. Fortunately, you have a very fractured tribe. Gotta try to get Peih-Gee to target Abi.
  13. Abi-Maria: Man, Abi get your (expletive deleted) together. It’s day one. No one stole your (expletive deleted) bracelet. You know how mixed up things can get one day one with stuff and things. Jesus. You’re showing your crazy right off the bat and almost went home for it. You probably should have gone home for it. I would’ve voted for you. Come on. Reel it in. I like you. Reel it in and stick around. You made it past the first vote so that means you have some people on your side so you might be able to turn this around.   13. Shirin: Shirin wanted a scalp, and boy did she get one. But did her aggressive gameplay rub her tribe mates the wrong way? When Spencer described his fellow Ta Keos as “crazy” it was Shirin’s image that appeared on screen. And in the preview for this week Varner vents about how much he despises the Shirin-led Beach People. Shirin’s saving grace might just be the Brazilian Dragon. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. #TeamShirin forever.
 13. Kimmi: Why’s Kimmi this low? I dunno. She seemed to be bugging people in the pre-game. But when I was at camp, she was a hard worker and seemed to be getting along with everyone.
  14. Woo: He seemed blindsided last Tribal. It’s night three. Don’t be blindsided at the first Tribal. That doesn’t look good.
  14. Stephen: If you loved Cochran, you’ll tolerate Stephen Fishbach! No doubt about it, Rob Cesternino’s better half had a rough start to his second chance. Still, the parallels between Stephen’s first three days in Cambodia and Cochran’s first three days in Caramoan are enough for me to hold out hope that Fishy (or “Fish,” as Andrew inexplicably calls him) will turn things around. If not, maybe we can at least look forward to a secret scene in which he talks about pooping in his pants.
 14. Spencer: Shirencer won the day, but there’s a big fight ahead. If Jeff feels bullied and wants to go back to his original crew, the target is going to be on you and your buddy…
  15. Kelly: She let down her team but they don’t seem to care. I would care. And then her voting didn’t work. That also sucks.
  15. Woo: Is Woo’s cluelessness a put on, or is he really that out of touch with what’s going on in his tribe? In a cast that’s stocked with cerebral players, it almost doesn’t matter. Woo is canon fodder.
 15. Shirin: …and if challenge strength comes into play, Spencer has a reputation for performing well.
  16. Spencer: See Varner. He’s getting too technical and “strategy and everything ‘Survivor’…we must play now!!!” on day three. Chill out, man. That is not going to help you at all with these old-school players who want to sleep in a shelter out of the rain on night one. Know your audience.
  16. Kimmi: When people like Jeremy and Andrew talk about keeping the tribe strong they are talking about voting off people like Kimmi. Fortunately for Kimmi by voting out Bad Aras the lunatics on Ta Keo may have insured that she won’t see council before a potential swap.
  16. Joe: Sorry, one-man-show Joe. In my book you are never safe. Even with the numbers and an idol in your pocket and a handwritten note from Jeff Probst in your pocket.
 17. Shirin: See Varner. Foreshadowing from previews. Varner made a couple comments about her being a mile-a-minute talker and not slowing down and being GOGOGO the whole time. That probably means she’s doing what she did when the tribe swap last season happened, and talking a ton and annoying the (expletive deleted) out of the others. Please don’t go home, Shirin. But, I am now worried.
 17. Peih-Gee: Poor Peih-Gee. By no fault of her own she found herself the RC to Abi’s Abi. I mean, how could Peih-Gee, a designer of fine, hand-crafted jewelry, be expected to resist the temptation to steal a $9 fake gold bracelet?
  17. Stephen: That bro-liance is going to be tough to crack. Who doesn’t have a solid reason to stick with it? Stephen needs a tribe swap in the worst way.
 18. Jeff: I hate to do this, I do, because I love Varner and I want him around forever. But because of his performance at Tribal last week, the “scenes from the next episode” (where it seems like this dude is getting annoyed with Shirin and Spencer and the “young folk”), and going against his agreement with Terry and the old schoolers, he’s put himself in either a great position or a horrible one. I’m going with horrible one. You don’t make power plays at the first Tribal. You don’t do that. That’s how you get voted out. I think he’s a loose cannon, and that either means he’s next or the ones he’s targeting are.
 18. Abi-Maria: I’d be willing to wager that we hear Abi utter her catchphrase “You’re dead to me” during this week’s cold open. The problem for Abi is that she might already be dead to her fellow Ta Keo tribe members.
 18. Kass: The next challenge is going to come down to that puzzle that gave Tina Wesson fits in “Survivor: Blood vs. Water,” so it’s not a slam dunk for Bayon. If the people who aren’t in the bro-liance are in an anyone-but-me mood, Kass could be on her way out.
  19. Kass: She wasn’t even on the show last week? Come on, give America what it wants. Also it’s painfully obvious her tribe isn’t losing but one can hope, right?
 19. Kass: Kass.
 19. Abi-Maria: The big question will be; Jeff Varner made his bed. Will he lie in it? If Peih-Gee/Kelley, Shirencer, and Jeff decide to stick together, Abi is a really easy vote.
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