Being an adult kind of sucks. You don’t have any free time, everything you eat is trying to kill you, and holidays hit the toilet.
Think about it, have you ever had a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Festivus that was better than the ones you had as a kid? Doubtful. The beef jerky and Drakkar Noir I got last Christmas can’t hold a jug of moonshine to the “Dukes of Hazzard” slot car racing set that features a General Lee that jumps off a ramp I received in my youth.
Quick Note: Mom, I love you, but the Drakkar Noir has to stop. I haven’t worn it since Jr. High.
That being said, there is one holiday that doesn’t necessarily get worse. Halloween is still pretty awesome, but for much different reasons. When you were a kid, Halloween meant eating candy and getting to wear a cool costume. As an adult, Halloween means having a few soda pops and getting to see your female friends wear (as Madison Avenue now calls them) “sassy” costumes.
Not better, just different.
It used to be there were only a handful of “sassy” costumes to choose from; school girl, nurse, maid, etc. But now if there’s a Hollywood franchise, an occupation, or a fairy tale character you’re sure to find a short-skirted costume for it.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that “Ghostbusters” is my jam. From 1984-1985 my parents locked me in an Indonesian living room with nothing but a VCR, a copy of “Ghostbusters,” and a copy of “The Sound of Music.” I’m not going to lie, I did watch “The Sound of Music” quite a bit, but “Ghostbusters” was the way I spent the majority of my time.
So, I was always a little disappointed that this was the only “sassy” “Ghostbusters” costume you could find…
|Yeah, I know, that’s a technicality. But, the Statue of Liberty was a supporting character in “Ghostbusters II,” so it was good enough for me. That was until this costume was released a few years ago…|
Since that time there hasn’t been much in the way of the “Ghostbusters” “sassy” costume progress.
|There was a Dana Barrett flowing gown released, but in all honesty, that costume is in no way “sassy.” It’s identical to the one worn in the movie.|
So, not one to rest on my laurels, I’ve decided to pitch a few ideas out there for the next generation of ecto-related “sassy” attire.
|“OK, WHO BROUGHT THE DOG?”
Sassy Terror Dog CostumeIncludes:
• Keymaster and Gatemaster-sized horns
• Terror Dog feet
• Eau de barbecued dog hair
|“SHE’S A SAILOR, SHE’S IN NEW YORK.”
Sassy Stay Puft Marshmallow WomanIncludes:
• Stay Puft hat
• Stay Puft bib
• Tiny police cars
|“YES, HAVE SOME!”
Sassy Louis Tully CostumeIncludes:
• Sweet colander hat
• Bowl of popcorn
• Acetylsalicylic Acid (It makes good financial sense.)
The ball’s in your court costume company. And while we’re at it, let’s get started on the “sassy” “Sound of Music” costumes too.
Even More Whatnot…