An Open Letter to Will Smith

Dear Mr. Smith,

When I was a kid, you’d often hear this exchange in the Holmes household.

Little Gordon: Mom, I’m done watching “Ghostbusters.”
Gordon’s Mom: Did you like it?
Little Gordon: It was awesome!
Gordon’s Mom: Good, now go outside and pretend you’re a Ghostbuster while mommy finishes up this box of wine.

Then I’d rush outside and take down imaginary full-torso free-roaming vapors with a stick I was pretending was a neutrona wand. Good times for sure.

Now, I imagine things are a little different in the Smith household. It probably goes a little something like this…

Willow: Dad, I’m done watching “Annie.”
Will: Did you like it?
Willow: It was awesome!
Will: OK, let’s go remake it.

So, it’s with that in mind that I come to you with one simple request…

Adopt me.


I’m not interested in inheriting your vast fortune, or the regal responsibilities that come with being the son of a Fresh Prince. I wouldn’t even bug Jada that much about how much I love “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.”

No, all I really want to do is remake “Jurassic Park.”

Think about it; you as Dr. Grant, the jaded Paleontologist, Jada as Dr. Sadler, Jaden and Willow as Tim and Lex. And playing the wisecracking, chaos theory-spouting mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm is none other than Gordon Holmes Smith.

OK, there’s my pitch. While you think it over, I’m going to rework the lyrics to “Boom! Shake the Room.”

All my best,

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One Response to “An Open Letter to Will Smith”

  1. Tweets that mention An Open Letter to Will Smith « More Whatnot -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sufyannn and Tara Bennett, Gordon Holmes. Gordon Holmes said: An open letter to Will Smith. […]

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