Four Reasons Not to Be Mad at Tom Hanks for ‘Larry Crowne’

Tom Hanks’s latest directorial effort “Larry Crowne” was stomped into the ground this past weekend by a pack of poorly written transforming robots…

And it only received a 35% rating on…

And the trailer featured around forty of Julia Roberts’s trademark awkward laughs…

But there are still some reasons to love the guy, right?

1. He Hasn’t Tried to Force Another Meg Ryan Reunion on Us

I can’t quite figure out why Meg Ryan decided to do that to her face. Maybe somebody told her they were casting a live-action “Thundercats” movie and she’d always wanted to play Cheetara. Either way, the last thing we need these days is to see Mr. Hanks trying to plant a kiss on her freaky Joker lips.

That was really catty (no pun intended). I hope Meg Ryan doesn’t read this blog.

2. Cap’n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters

The name of the fictional band (that is portrayed by a fictional band) in the movie “That Thing You Do” always makes me laugh. In fact, if I ever go off the grid, I’m pretty sure I’d use the handle “Cap’n Geech.”

Also, The Wonders (previously known as “The Oneders”) are a pretty decent band. Can I live my life without hearing the song “That Thing You Do” ever again? Of course, I heard it 42 times in the movie. But the soundtrack features hidden gems that are worth checking out like “All My Only Dreams” and “Dance with Me Tonight.”

3. No ‘Forrest Gump’ Sequel

How does a movie that made $677 million not have a sequel or prequel these days? I don’t know, they’re already planning a “Green Lantern” sequel as we speak.  So, let’s thank Hanks for not forcing ‘Gump 2’ on us.

I imagine three hours of Forrest  accidentally locating Saddam Hussein, spilling paint all over one of Lady Gaga’s normal costumes, and convincing Michael Jordan to give baseball a try would be too much to bear.

4. This Video…

‘Dragnet’ is surely one of the 80s forgotten gems. Who didn’t love seeing straight-laced cop Joe Friday and his free-spirited partner Pep Streebeck square off against Emil Muzz (“Muzz, Emil…Emil Muzz!”) and the rest of the People Against Goodness and Normalcy?

What’s even better than watching the future multiple-time-Academy-Award-winning actor bust bad guys? Why seeing him bust a rhyme in the rap video that accompanied the movie, that’s what…


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