‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Power Rankings – Week 5

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sophie is voted out this week, Andrea will receive 1 point and Gordon will receive 2 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: South Pacific” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: The Cardinals beat the Brewers in the NLCS, and St. Louis’s Gordon Holmes beat Milwaukee’s Andrea Boehlke in the Power Rankings.

(Milwaukee? Isn’t that Algonquin for ‘The Good Land?’)

Gordon had Elyse in spot fourteen, while Andrea had her in spot twelve. Both participants predicted Christine would keep her Redemption Island run going. The current score is Team Boehlke 61, Team Holmes 64.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.

teamboehlke . TEAMHOLMES
Current Score: 61

Got any advice for Andrea? Drop her a line on Twitter.

. Current Score: 64

Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.

SOPHIE . albert
#1 Sophie: As the merge approaches and crazy things start to happen, I must mix up my rankings a bit. Today’s big winner is the Sophster! Sophie is a proud member of several highly imperative organizations within the Upolu tribe. She’s in the C.R.A.B.S. and now the S.A.C. (Sophie, Albert, Coach) alliance. We found out last week that the S.A.C. is running the C.R.A.B.S. with Sophie being less of a merge target than her buddies Coach and Albert. It sure is a good week to be a Sophster! . #1 Albert: Whether you’re solidifying your alliance with Coach by helping him find a hidden immunity idol or leading the St. Louis Cardinals to the World Series, I’m all about dudes named Albert. Although, it does seem a bit odd that Coach gets to be the idol holder…
albert . SOPHIE
#2 Albert: Although I will miss having Albert on top, all good things must come to an end. He has just been exposed as Coach’s right hand man, and has “merge target” written all over him. Like I said in my bloggy-blog (which you all read, right?!) he is the poster child for merge targets. He still will be safe for a hot minute within his alliance and sub-alliance, but I will have to bring him down slowly but surely, even if it breaks my heart. . #2 Sophie: What was Sophie doing while the editors weren’t showing much of her? Apparently she was working her way into the dominant alliance within Upolu’s dominant alliance. Genius. Loving her. Whatever is she going to do with a million dollars?
#3 Coach: Coach has the idol. Coach has C.R.A.B.S. Coach now has a S.A.C. alliance as well. Although the merge is indeed drawing near, Coach seems to have a firm grip on his S.A.C. and C.R.A.B.S. and I don’t think they are turning on him anytime soon. (Oh boy, these alliance names—what have I done?! I promise I’m not this perverse in real life.) Note that the S.A.C. tops the Power Rankings, IN ORDER. Bam. See what I did there? . #3 Jim: Jim finally made a big “Survivor” move, and it’s probably the right way to go. If the “Three Plus Two” alliance got deep into the game, he’d have had a tough time beating them in challenges. Now he has to worry about what to do with Ozzy. Could Ozzy be sent packing with an idol again?
#4 Rick: Rick is one of my favorites, probably because we always want what we can’t have. I want more Rick and every week I continue to be Rick deprived! Rick does have good things going for him–he is an important part of Coach’s S.C.A.R. If anyone is getting sick of these alliance names, you should probably stop reading the Power Rankings. Or just read Gordon’s side, he is less obnoxious and less creative. (Kidding Gordo, I kid because I love!) Tune in this week to see what happens in part six of The Silence of the Ricks. . #4 Coach: Coach 2.0 is having an almost Mariano-esque run at Upolu right now. He’s in the key alliance, he has an immunity idol, and he has a wild-card sub-alliance with Edna. A tribe of newbies wouldn’t gift-wrap another win for a returning all-star, would they Dre?

(I also kid because I love.)

#5 Jim: Jim had a great power move last week and may be in control over at Savaii at this point. That being said, Savaii alliances are a bit wonky right now with a scorned Ozzy, floaters Keith and Whitney and a potential strong three of Jim, Cochran and Dawn. Predicting the next Savaii boot and order has been the hardest thing I’ve done all day. I also haven’t gotten out of bed yet, but still. This is all your fault, Jim! . #5 Keith: Keith voting for Dawn to keep from voting for Elyse is the equivalent of asking your wife if she slept with someone else, and she says “no” because technically they didn’t “sleep.” Yeah, it’s correct, but it is going to kill all trust in the relationship.
#6 Brandon: Brandon is still safe with Mikayla and Edna as buffers. I also want to take this time to say I think Brandon is probably a sweet guy just trying to play that silly little game of “Survivor” that we love to pick apart. I know he is getting a lot of harsh words, so I hope he realizes that most of us aren’t attacking him personally in blogs or comments. At least I’m not. I appreciate anybody with the courage to sign up for such a crazy game, and I never mean anything personal when I poke fun at people. Keep your head up, Brandon! . #6 Rick: You know how I know Rick is in this game to win it? The dude pulled pork out of Brandon Hantz’s teeth with his mouth. Now that’s “loco.”
#7 Keith: After the awkward Dawn float-vote by Whitney and Keith (Kitney? Wheith? I wish they had a better couple name) I’m not sure how things are going to fall in place over at Savaii. Do they side with Ozzy or with Jim? And is the Wheith bond going to be targeted soon just like Ozlyse was? I’m thinking yes. . #7 Whitney: Elyse’s blindside was probably bad news for Whitney. The two of them could’ve cruised into the merge while the “Three Plus Two” guys took all the bullets. Now Keith and her have to be wondering if they can trust Jim.
#8 Dawn: I really hope that the Dawnminator and her fierce headband stay in the game. Now that Savaii has experienced a little shake-up, Dawn may just find a way to creep up these Power Rankings… in style . #8 Brandon: Brandon’s crazy train seems to have hit a bit of a rest stop last week. But, it looks like we’re in for more fun soon. I think Coach is dedicated to keeping him around at this point. Maybe he thinks Brandon will make a good Federal Agent Phillip.
#9 Whitney: Even though Purple Whitney is finally talking, now what? One couple was already targeted and broken up on Savaii so could Whitney’s fate be the same? . #9 Ozzy: This week’s preview is leading us to believe that Ozzy’s on his way out. But, he still has an immunity idol and Savaii still needs to stay strong for challenges. Jim’s gotta realize that he’s going to be in a world of trouble if he goes into the merge down numbers and Ozzy comes charging back from Redemption Island looking for revenge.
#10. Cochran: I was so happy that Cochran stayed over Elyse last week in that amazing blindside. Now that Jim has reached out to him, Cochran may actually find his way in to an actual “Survivor” alliance. Oh my! Personally, I would never vote out someone that had so many fun facts about herpes. . #10 Cochran: It may seem weird to have Cochran and Dawn this low in the rankings after they were a part of last week’s blindside, but the fact remains that Savaii still needs to be strong for the challenges. And I love me some Cochran, but the kid’s as intimidating as a wet kitten.
#11. Edna: When it comes down to Edna or Mikayla things get complicated. I still do think Edna has a bit of an edge because she actually knows what the alliance lines are (cough, cough thanks, Brandon ) and she has a little something-something going on with Coach. Whether or not she hunts buffalo is still irrelevant but that could come into play later. . #11 Dawn: See Cochran.
#12. Ozzy: Hell hath no fury like an Ozzy scorned? I’d love to see Ozzy find a way to fight back, but when I hear words like “lone wolf” and “free agent” I start to lose hope. I kind of feel like a goober putting Ozzy so low considering the fact he has the idol, but perhaps the Savaii shake-up has made me a little delusional. . #12 Edna: The lower part of the Upolu totem pole comes down to one question; what does Coach value more at this point? If he wants to have some wiggle room when it comes to alliances down the road, he’ll keep Edna…
Mikayla . Mikayla
#13 Mikayla: She’s not in the C.R.A.B.S. or the S.A.C. or the S.C.A.R. or even the B.R.A.C.E.S (semi-fake alliance with an attached Edna). Apparently there isn’t room for someone with an “M name.” If Upolu loses this week, which I think they will, I’m banking on Mikayla going before Edna.  It’s too bad since she is a strong asset to her tribe and picks up meat with her mouth, but in a game about numbers things aren’t looking up for Mikayla. . #13 Mikayla: If Coach wants challenge strength in the stretch run before the merge, he’ll keep Mikayla. I’m thinking he’ll keep Edna.
Redemption Island Pick – Christine: Once upon a time Christine said she was going to “pull a Matt” and I scoffed. I’m not scoffing anymore. This mama is on a roll and I’m not putting anything past her! She took away my Spoken Word and Boom-Pows so chances are she can handle an Elyse. . Redemption Island Pick – Christine: Elyse might have a slight physical edge, but never bet against a winning streak. Christine takes it again.

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