Why I Hope 2012 Is/Isn’t the End of the World


So, apparently the whole wide world is going “bye-bye” on December 21, 2012. Don’t believe me? Mayans totally predicted this a billion years ago.

Now, while this fate seems harsh, I’d like to take this opportunity to take a look at some of the good things that could come from our impending doom. (I’m a glass-is-half-full kind of a guy.)

And, in case the planet doesn’t get its torch snuffed, I’ve included some good things that’ll come from life in 2013 and beyond…

Why I Hope 2012 Isn’t the End of the World

  • “Survivor” has been extended until spring 2013 and I’m still waiting to see if they’re going to use my Probst vs. Seacrest idea.
  • Stupid Mayans will be up in heaven (or wherever Mayans go) thinking they’re hot s—t.
  • Otters live in the world, and they’re freakin’ adorable.
  • Because the date is in December, which means the 2012 World Series will have already been played. Which means it’s possible the Cardinals won’t be the reigning champions when the world ends. I can’t have that.
  • I don’t want to miss the second and third movies of the “Hunger Games” trilogy.

Why I Hope 2012 Is the End of the World

  • I love the idea that future societies will discover our many “2012”-themed television shows and movies and question why we didn’t do anything to stop the impending apocalypse. “John Cusack tried to warn them!”
  • It’ll probably put an end to all of those “Ghostbusters 3” rumors. Probably…
  • Given the choice between Mayan Armageddon and a zombie apocalypse? I’m taking the Mayans ten times out of ten. (Don’t get me wrong, I think I’d perform admirably in a zombie apocalypse.)
  • Because my memory is so bad now, I don’t want to see what it’ll be like when I’m 30.
  • If stupid “Work It” can pull better ratings that “Community,” we don’t deserve to continue as a society.

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