‘Survivor: Philippines’ Recap: Of Rice and Men


'Survivor: Philippines' (CBS)

XFinityTV is blowing up their coverage of “Survivor: Philippines.” Every Monday Jeff Probst and I will tackle a wide variety of topics with the “Survivor” Question of the Week. Every Tuesday I’ll be squaring off against “Survivor: One World” favorite Kat Edorsson in this season’s Power Rankings challenge. Every Wednesday briefly after the show we’ll have a full episode recap and every Thursday we’ll have an interview with the latest eliminated player.  Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for all the updates!

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: Philippines”

Last Week: Matsing was rebuffed and split, Dana got sick and quit, and Dawson was voted out and tried to swap spit.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Kalabaw Tribe (wearing red)
Carter – Track Coach, 24
Denise – Sex Therapist, 41
Katie – Student, 22
Jeff Kent – Former MLB Player, 44
Penner – Writer, 50

The Tandang Tribe (wearing yellow)
Abi-Maria – Business Student, 32
Artis – Computer Engineer, 53
Michael – Professional Speaker, Author, and Coach, 50
Lisa – Former ‘Facts of Life’ Star, 49
Malcolm – Bartender, 25
Pete – Engineering Graduate, 24
RC – Investment Banker, 27

Our evening kicks off with the Kalabaw Nation returning from Tribal Council. Katie realizes that she’s up some kind of foul smelling creek without an implement that will help her navigate her boat. She talks to Denise and tries to convince her that Penner has the idol and should be the next to go.

Over at Tandang, Pete is annoyed with Skup for eating all of the tribe’s rice. “Survivor” always comes down to food. Always.

Also, Skup has been eating the rice without cooking it which sounds horrific. Does it even digest?

Reward Challenge Time: Three members from each tribe will try to push a giant wicker ball into their opponents’ goal. First tribe to score three points wins a trip to a hut that is filled with sandwiches, brownies, and other goodies.

RC and Artis will sit for Tandang.

Round One: Pete, Skupin, and Lisa vs. Penner, Carter, and Denise.

We start off and Lisa hits a big takedown on Denise! How do you like them Facts of Life!

Oh…and Penner has his arm in a very…sensitive…part of Skup’s body. We’re about to hit TV-MA territory here in a second.

Things eventually grind to a halt, with everyone holding someone else in position. Apparently this went on for a full hour.

Rather than continue the challenge, Penner and Skup start negotiating. Skupin offers to trade the reward for the rest of Kalabaw’s rice. Penner wants to make this trade happen because he’s confident he can catch some fish.

Artis thinks this is a terrible idea and says so in an unnecessarily tense matter. Yikes.

Kalabaw accepts this deal and the challenge is off. Honestly, anytime Skup can finish up a challenge without losing a limb, he’s gotta go for it.

Wow, that seems like a dumb move by Kalabaw. Tandang gave up something they didn’t have while the red tribe gave up their rice.

Afterwards we meet up with Kalabaw enjoying an impressive luncheon spread. While they’re eating, Penner realizes that letters from home are over on a separate table. Cue the sad piano music…

Back at Tandang, Artis is still ticked off over the lack of reward sandwiches. Abi isn’t thrilled about it either. RC uses this obvious tribal division as a way to try to motivate Skupin. She’s gotta do something.

Later at Kalabaw, Penner fails on his promise to catch some fish. The tiny specimens he returns from the ocean with are barely bigger than a McDonald’s hashbrown. Ozzy Lusth he ain’t.

Immunity Challenge Time: One member from each tribe will launch balls into a field while the other players try to catch them in a net. First tribe to score five wins immunity.

Skup and Abi will sit for Tandang.

Lisa and Denise will launch balls for their respective tribes.

Round One: Penner catches a ball.

Round Two: Pete and RC both catch balls.

Quick Note: How is Jeff Kent not awesome at this challenge?

Round Three: No catches.

Round Four: Jeff Kent catches one. Shows what I know.

Round Five: Jeff Kent catches another one. I’ll shut up now.

Round Six: Jeff Kent catches yet another one. Kent, I get it!

Skup tells Lisa to shoot them toward Malcolm.

Round Seven: Malcolm catches one.

Round Eight: Malcolm snags another one.

Jeff Kent covers Malcolm now. We’re tied at four points apiece.

Round Nine: Malcolm gets the best of Kent and catches a third ball. Tandang wins immunity.

Fun Fact: Denise still hasn’t won a challenge.

Politicking at Kalabaw centers around Katie vs. Penner. The argument against Penner is that they’re worried about what he’ll do after the merge. However, Katie obviously isn’t much help in challenges.

Carter thinks taking Penner to the merge is a good idea because all of the eyes will be on Penner. Hey, Carter’s thinking!

Wait, Carter isn’t thinking. He literally turns to Penner and says, “Penner…what do you want to do, Katie or Penner?” Really? Why don’t you just ask him how to spell his name? Seriously, even the monkeys that were grooming themselves around camp were shaking their heads.

Either Penner didn’t hear it or he was playing it off.

Later, Penner tells Katie that Denise is the next to go. Katie doesn’t buy it.

That night at Tribal Council, Denise and Katie both think they’re in trouble. Denise because she’s the new girl and Katie because she’s isn’t good at challenges.

Penner says he didn’t say he was vulnerable because he wants to seem confident.

Jeff Kent says every vote will be a blindside because everyone likes each other.

Penner agrees, because the votes aren’t personal, they’re strategic.

Jeff Kent thinks “Survivor” sucks because the game is a mix of surviving the elements and blindsiding your friends. He’s seen this show, hasn’t he?

Voting Time: Katie votes for Penner, Penner votes for Katie, and the rest of the votes remain a secret. Unless you ask Carter, cause he’ll straight up tell you.

Some tallying takes place. We’ve got one vote for Katie, one vote for Penner, one vote for Katie, and the seventh person to leave “Survivor: Philippines” is…Katie.

For some reason, Katie doesn’t take advantage of this chance to make out with Jeff Probst.

Verdict: Another interesting episode, but it’s getting too easy to predict the booted players. Thank goodness it looks like the merge is next. We’ve been waiting too long for this Tandang explosion.

Who’s Going to Win: I hate to jinx Malcolm more than I already have, but he is in an amazing position. He’s the Tandangian with the least amount of heat on him. Not only that, but he has an idol and is probably about to reunite with Denise. Team Malcolm FTW.

Power Rankings Results: Blam! Kat and I called it as we both had Katie in spot twelve. The current score is Team Kat: 80, Team Awesome Thunder: 85.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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