‘Survivor: San Juan del Sur’ Episode 5 Recap – Rice (Saving) Guys Finish Last

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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Last Week: Keith found an idol that jumped up and hit his shin, thanks to Hunahpu’s bad strategy Coyopa picked up a win, and the gutter was finally graced by Drew the bowled over kingpin.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hunahpu (wearing blue

Jeremy – 36, Firefighter
Jon – 26, Financial Assistant
Julie – 34, Owner of Spray Tan Business
Keith – 53, Fire Captain
Kelley – 28, Marketing Manager
Missy – 47, Owner of Cheerleading Gym
Natalie – 28, Crossfit Coach
Reed – 31, Broadway Performer

The Coyopa (wearing yellow)

Alec – 22, Student
Baylor – 20, Student
Dale – 55, Farmer
Jaclyn – 25, Media Buyer
Josh – 32, Actor
Wes – 23, Firefighter

The fun kicks off back at Casa de Hunahpu after Tribal, and contrary to what the preview editors would have us believe, Jon is doing some damage control. The blow up we saw last week was apparently Jon’s impersonation of Drew. Booooo…

The next morning, Alec is psyched to square off against his brother at Hero Arena.

CUT TO: Alec shocked when his brother doesn’t show up at Hero Arena.

Reward Challenge Time: No challenge, just buff droppin’.

For our new tribes we’ve got Kelley, Dale, Missy, Baylor, Jaclyn, Jon, and Keith on Coyopa. On Hunahpu we’ve got Reed, Josh, Alec, Wes, Jeremy, Julie, and Natalie.

Keith isn’t pleased to be the only person who isn’t in a pair on his tribe. But, being single was an asset last time.

Back at Hunahpu beach, Josh and Wes quickly learn that old Hunahpu hasn’t been rationing their rice. Yeah, but it’s cool because they have plenty of flint.

Jeremy doesn’t love the idea that Josh can bring Reed into his Coyopa alliance and take him out. That’s why I don’t like tribe swaps.

Later, Josh tells us that he and Reed are staying abstinent until marriage. So, Spider-Man isn’t getting any?

Over at new Coyopa, Jaclyn thinks it’s unheard of to have a loved one on your tribe. Yeah, it hasn’t happened in like less than a year.

Baylor doesn’t like watching Jon and Jaclyn get it on because she’s single. Dude, Keith’s right there.

She keeps a positive attitude though, saying she’ll get married some day and her mom will get married a fourth time. If Missy gets that fourth punch on her marriage card, the fifth husband is free.

Over at Hunahpu, Alec is encouraged because he thinks his tribe is more fit than Coyopa. Yeah, but which tribe has more divorces?

Jeremy and Natalie decide that Alec is their best bet for an alliance because he doesn’t have a loved one around.

It’s rice time over at Coyopa, and Dale is maaaaaaad about how much rice Missy is cooking. Kelley smartly takes her dad on a walk so he doesn’t follow through with his plan to march over there and smack the rice bowls out of their hands. Dale goes along, but he calls Missy a “self-centered, bossy b—h.”

It always comes down to food. Always.

Back at Hunahpu, everyone is starving. I’ve been to Nicaragua, I’ve been to where they camp. There are a billion little crabs running around out there. Instead, they plot to throw rocks at birds.

Seeing the error in that plan, they decide to negotiate with Probst again. He’s got to be loving this.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will dig in a pit looking for some keys. Once they have them they’ll crawl under a muddy obstacle. Then, they’ll unlock a gate and shake a basket on a pole until twenty bean bags fall out. First tribe to throw ten of those bags onto a swinging target wins immunity.

The challenge starts off and Coyopa is sloooooow. Hunahpu is at the pole shaking (grow up…) part before Coyopa even finds their keys.

Jeff Probst: “You’ve got to shake it, Coyopa!”

Hunahpu retrieves their bags and lands all ten shots before Coyopa even starts tossing.

After the win, Reed tries to make a trade with Probst for rice. He says they can discuss it tomorrow.

Seriously, they should have Julie negotiate. How could Probst say no?

Politicking at Coyopa has Keith really nervous that the couples could think he’s an easy vote. But he’s hoping the heat between Team Missy and Team Dale could keep him safe.

Dale starts working against Baylor, telling Jon and Jaclyn about how Baylor convinced the girls to vote for him early on and then stabbed them in the back.

Baylor tries to get back on Jaclyn’s good side. But Jaclyn isn’t thrilled with the way Baylor flipped to the guys during the first vote.

It seems like Keith is solid with Missy and Baylor.

That night at Tribal Council, Keith is happy to have some former teammates with him.

Jaclyn thinks it’s tough because if you vote someone out, their angry loved one will still be around.

Jon is psyched to have someone he can trust. He must also be happy to have an alliance with someone who isn’t trying to blow up the game kingpin-style.

Dale points out that Baylor turned the women against him in old Coyopa and then turned on them. He then calls Jon and Jaclyn the hottest couple in camp. Well, nobody’s debating that.

Missy wants to protect Baylor because she’s a mama bear. A mama bear who clubbed her cub in an immunity challenge.

Voting Time: No votes are shown for a second straight episode.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Baylor, one vote for Kelley, one vote for Baylor, one vote for Kelley, two votes for Dale, and the fifth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: San Juan del Sur – Blood vs. Water” is…Kelley.

Wow, I did not see that coming.

Verdict: I hate tribe swaps. Hate, hate, hate tribe swaps. In a game that’s about creating a society and alliances, it bugs me that someone who’s playing a good game can have it tossed on its ear when they’re handed a new buff.

Not only that, but it makes challenge strength a detriment when it should be an asset until the merge.

That being said, the Blood vs. Water does add a very different dynamic to the tribe swap situation. Kelley wasn’t voted out because of the swap. She was basically the new Marissa and her dad is the new Gervase.

Who’s Going to Win? Jeremy is my pick, but he’s in a bad spot over at Hunahpu. If he can’t wiggle his way out of that, I’m moving over to Josh.

Power Rankings Results: Spencer had Kelley in spot four, I had her in spot five. So, the current score is Team Spencer 36, Team Gordon 44.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

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