QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.
Last Week: Pasta deceived, an idol was retrieved, Ben was aggrieved, and Joe was relieved when Desi was cleaved.
39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Alright, let’s take a closer look at the tribe…
The Solewa Tribe – Wearing Purple
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Ben, 34 – Marine
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer
JP, 28 – Firefighter
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Mike, 43 – Urologist*
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop*
*Has an Immunity Idol
Post Tribal Shenanigans
We aren’t treated to any shenanigans, which is annoying. We still don’t know why Desi was targeted over Joe or if anyone noticed the missing votes.
Advantages and Ill-Advised Actions
Lauren and Ben celebrate Lauren’s extra vote. She claims that he is the only person she has told about it. Not sure it’s the best move to make a final three deal with someone who will absolutely win a jury vote.
In other news, Ryan let’s Devon in on his idol secret and they agree that it’ll just be between the two of them. Then, Ryan lets Ben know…uh oh.
Sure enough, Ben uses this knowledge to get closer to Devon. Devon tells us that he doesn’t trust Ryan anymore. And, it looks like Devon didn’t tell Ben that he already knew. That’s smart.
Reward Challenge Time: The Tribes will be split into two teams of five. One by one, they’ll climb a ladder, then dive into the water to retrieve keys. They’ll use the keys to open a chest that contains balls. The first tribe to sink five basketball shots will win a trip on a luxury yacht.
Result: Joe, JP, Chrissy, Mike, and Cole pull off the win thanks to Joe’s impressive basketball skills.
They’re on a Boat
Cole points out that he has only ever lost one challenge in his “Survivor” career. Sounds like an XFINITY “Survivor” reporter I know. Ahem…
Joe hilariously carves up a chocolate cake while he pretends to look for an idol.
And, Devon, Ryan, Ashley, and Ben moon the boat as the winning team returns. Hilarious, but otherwise the trip has uneventful.
Quick Aside: I really liked this segment. I wish “Survivor” showed more of the players having fun with each other.
A Second-Place Strategy
Joe decides that his best course of action is to upset everyone. He quickly accomplishes this by telling Ashley that she’s going to get to the final three as a goat.
Oof…truth hurts.
He then tells Chrissy that nobody cares what she thinks.
Mission accomplished, Joe.
Immunity Challenge Time: The players will stand in an odd contraption that will eliminate them if they stand too tall or hunch too low. The last person standing wins immunity.
Result: Cole puts up a good fight, but Lauren takes immunity.
Pre-Tribal Politicking
Ben wants to split the votes between Mike and Cole in case Joe has an idol. Ashley is not down with this because she’s sick of Joe.
Hey Ben, if you’re so afraid of Joe, why DIDN’T YOU GET RID OF HIM LAST WEEK?! Show us, “Survivor!”
Honestly, the only thing that makes sense to me is Joe and Ben working together, or Ben is hoping to take Joe to the end as a goat. But, if that’s the case, they haven’t showed us a second of it.
BLURG!
Anywho, Ben seems to be steamrolling the conversation during the round table discussion and Ashley and Chrissy don’t like it at all.
When Chrissy confronts Ben with this concern, he assures her that nobody feels that way. Way to take constructive feedback, dude.
Quick Aside: I don’t love “Round Table” as an alliance nickname.
Later, Ben tells Mike that they’re going to target Cole. So, Mike thinks he’s safe, but he knows he needs to make a move to change the game.
Unfortunately, Mike only seems willing to risk Joe’s non-existent idol.
Tribal Time
Before the festivities get underway, Mike tells Joe to follow his lead.
The Healers admit that it’s obvious that they’re on the chopping block.
Chrissy calls out Joe for insulting her and Ashley.
Mike thinks it’s unethical to treat Joe like a pariah, and then not vote him out.
Mike then makes an odd analogy comparing Ben to King Arthur and himself to the Statue of Liberty, and the USA will beat England in the end. So, we’re getting a tea tossing immunity challenge?
Lauren thinks Mike is burying himself. I’m wondering if he’s trying to draw votes the same way Jason Nesmith drew mines in “Galaxy Quest.”
Voting Time: Before we get to the reveal, Mike plays his idol for himself.
Alright, we’ve got one vote for Ben, two votes for Mike, four votes for Cole, and the ninth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” and the second member of the jury is…Cole.
Verdict: The Ben/Joe thing is really starting to annoy me. To the point that even if nothing is going on, surely Chrissy and Ashley would think something was going on.
Anywho, it’ll be fun to watch the Round Table turn on each other.
Power Rankings Results: Aubry Bracco and I both had Cole in spot ten. The current score is Team Bracco 84, Team Holmes 90.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes