‘Survivor: H.V.V.’ Episode 3 Recap: The Villains Fight Dirty

Last Week: Boston Rob lost consciousness, James lost his cool, and Stephenie lost her shot at a million dollars.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe
(wearing blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
James Clement – 32
Colby Donaldson – 35
Cirie Fields – 39
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Tom Westman – 45
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe
(wearing red)

Tyson Apostol – 30
Randy Bailey – 50
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
“Boston” Rob Mariano – 33
Parvati Shallow – 27
Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 38
Courtney Yates – 28

We start off with the Heroes after tribal council and Tom is trying to make peace with James. James manages to watch his language throughout the entire segment.

Afterwards, JT apologizes to Tom for going back on their alliance. There’s something about JT’s southern drawl that makes you want to believe him.

Meanwhile back at the Villains tribe, Parvati is discussing the logistics of cuddling up with Russell. Apparently her head rolls off of his chest. If there’s one thing Villains are known for, it’s cuddling.

Boston Rob then fills us in on the secret to “Survivor” politics. It all revolves around who’s sleeping next to each other in the shelter. Sound strategy coming from the guy who married his main alliance member.

Over at the Heroes tribe, Rupert is very concerned about the morale of the tribe. It’s almost like a series of toes where one of the toes has been broken off into an odd direction.

Fortunately, a chicken-catching exercise brings the tribe together. Unfortunately, nobody clotheslined themselves Galu style.

Back at the Villains camp, Coach lets Russell know that people are talking about his alliance with Parvati. Boston Rob joins the conversation and shares his concerns.

Also, now that they’re finally showing the Villains talking strategy, I’m going to bet you five “Survivor” points that the Villains lose immunity.

Note: “Survivor” points have no cash value.

Another Note: Fancast does not condone betting.

Russell lets Parvati know that the guys are talking about her. This worries Parvati because Russell is the only person she trusts.

THE RETURN OF THE RUSSELL SEED!

Right now the cast of “Survivor: Samoa” is yelling at their television screens. Except for winner Natalie White, she’s relaxing on a pile of money.

That night, Coach breaks out one of his patented Coach Tall Tales. Russell takes this opportunity to bust out one of his patented moves; The Camp Sabotage. This time the Camp Sabotage takes the form of the old disappearing machete trick.

Tonight’s episode is like a “Survivor” greatest hits medley.

Russell then decides that the only thing Boston Rob would miss more than that machete is his Boston Red Sox hat.

I’m a big believer that Dre “Dreamz” Herd stabbing Yau-Man Chan in the back during “Survivor: Fiji” is the most despicable moment in “Survivor” history. If Russell loses Boston Rob’s hat I will change my vote.

The following morning, Randy finds a clam for the tribe. However, nobody seems interested. When Randy goes to open the clam he can’t find the machete…

Back at the Heroes camp, Candice is working on JT. She’s concerned that she was only let in on the Stephenie vote in the moments leading up to tribal council. This worries JT as he thinks she’s a smarter player than he had originally anticipated.

JT tells Cirie that Candice doesn’t trust her. Then Cirie tells Candice that someone told her that Candice doesn’t trust her. Then Candice asks everyone if they told Cirie that she didn’t trust her. Hopefully they get this worked out before study hall.

Immunity Challenge: The players will square off in a sumo-type match. However, instead of battling hand-to-hand they’ll be using a large pad. The first person to knock their opponent into the mud wins a point. First team to eight points wins. First player to get James to freak out earns my eternal respect.

I may have made up that last rule.

The winning team will also receive their team’s luxury items, coffee, sugar, and rice.

The Villains have to sit out two people, they choose Sandra and Courtney.

Tom vs. Russell: Tom makes quick work of the King of Samoa.

Parvati vs. Candice: Parvati gets off to strong start, but Candice eventually gets the best of her.

Rupert vs. Coach: Coach manages to get Rupert into the mud, but it doesn’t count because Coach took one of his hands off of the bag. Probst calls a do-over. The Pirate and the Dragon Slayer face off again, this time with Rupert winning quickly.

Current Score: Heroes 3, Villains 0.

Jerri vs. Cirie: Well, that was anticlimactic. Cirie bounces Jerri after two shots.

JT vs. Tyson: They brawl a bit, but JT gets the win. When it’s over Tyson gives JT a kiss on the cheek. Tocantins represent!

Current Score: Heroes 5: Villains 0.

Danielle vs. Amanda: And the beatdown continues as Amanda gets the best of Danielle.

Colby vs. Boston Rob: If I remember correctly, Boston Rob dominated Colby during the All-Star season. Fortunately for the Heroes that trend comes to an end as Colby wins a wild brawl.

Current Score: Heroes 7: Villains 0.

James vs. Randy: OK, seriously…who thought this pairing was a good idea? All it took was one shot and Randy was in the mud. The Heroes win immunity and the goodies.

And you owe me five “Survivor” points.

The Villains talk some smack afterward and an angry James responds with some profanity. Since it was a team effort I’m not quite sure who to reward my eternal respect to.

Back at camp, the Villains go to work cleaning their mud off. Tyson attributes the Heroes’ anger to “Steroid sandwiches.”

Randy worries that he’s on the chopping block. He thinks the other men are being won over by the ladies. Randy also shares his theory that they need to get rid of Parvati in case there’s a Micronesia alliance.

Coach lets us know that it will take more than Parvati in a skimpy bathing suit to win him over. It would take a majestic unicorn with the body of a fierce lion and the wings of a dove to lure the Dragon Slayer away from his goals.

I may have made that last part up too.

The tribe seems split between Randy and Parvati. Boston Rob wants Randy to go while Sandra will vote the way the tribe votes. Jerri is pushing for Parvati, going so far as to tell us how much she wants to punch Parvati in the face.

Well, that seems excessive.

Parvati lets us know that she thinks Jerri is a “Bitter, old cougar.”

Forget what I said earlier. Jerri, punch Parvati in the face.

Meanwhile Coach is disheartened that there aren’t any honorable people on his tribe. Did he get that whole “Villains” memo? He says he will do his best to keep Randy on the tribe.

That night at tribal council, Sandra tells J-Pro that when voting they consider who is a former winner, who has played the game three times, and who has friends on the other tribe.

Parvati must’ve loved that.

Sandra also names Boston Rob and Coach as the tribe’s leaders. Sandra then calls Coach out for not being around after he delegates work.

Coach gets his chi all up in a bunch and tells Sandra he resents her for that comment. He also says if she has an issue with him that she should put his name down.

Sandra seems frustrated. She lets Probst know that they haven’t had a machete all day.

Meanwhile, Russell giggles like a “Twilight” fan at Comic Con.

Voting Time: Parvati votes for Randy and that’s the only vote we’ll get to see…

Until now.   One vote for Randy, one vote for Rob, five votes for Randy, and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” is…Randy.

Verdict: Boo…I love me some Randy. All the “Survivor” points in the world won’t cheer me up now.

Who’s Going to Win? I’m still going to stick by my Jerri pick. She seems to be blending in well with the Villains tribe. Danielle and JT are impressing me too.

Power Rankings Update: Natalie White vaulted the All-Star Team back into the game by picking Randy to go home and earning the full eighteen points. I had Randy in spot twelve. So, the current score is All-Stars 21, Team Gordon 27.

More “Survivor” Fun: Check out my exit interview with Stephenie LaGrossa and the latest batch on game insight from “Survivor: The Amazon” champion Jenna Morasca.

What Do You Think? How dangerous is the Micronesia alliance? Are you a Russell fan or a Boston Rob fan? What former players would you like to see try their shot at the Power Rankings?

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