‘Survivor: H.V.V.’ Episode 9 Recap: The Dumbest Move Ever?

Last Week: JT discovered an idol, Sandra disrupted the dominant Villains alliance, and Russell dismissed Coach.

This Week: J-Pro has promised “History in the making.” We shall see.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing noble blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing devilish red)

Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27
Courtney Yates – 28

We start off with the Villains returning to camp after Coach was sent to the showers. Jerri is understandably freaked out because she had no idea that Coach was going home. She confronts Russell about it, he claims that he had an idea it was going to happen but wasn’t sure. Lies.

Russell lets us know that he has an alliance with three women he trusts. The other two women, however, will be the next two to go.

The following morning, tree mail tells the Survivors to rank their players from strongest to weakest. Apparently they’ll be redoing the Tocantins immunity challenge where the players had to stand between two boards.

That particular challenge was very memorable due to Coach’s anguished warrior yell. For those of us who forgot about that moment, Courtney is kind enough to remind us with a dead-on impersonation of it.

Bashing Coach after you just booted him? That’s just mean. How does she fit so much snark into such a tiny frame?

Jerri comes up with the idea to sit Russell because women have smaller feet and the Hero men have big egos.

Over at the Heroes camp, Rupert proves Jerri right by bragging about how he’s the strongest player left in the game.

As the teams arrive at the challenge, JT immediately notes that Coach has been sent home. JT says he’d “Bet his life” that there was a female alliance.

Reward Challenge: The players will be matched up by their pre-challenge rankings. Each player will stand between two walls, holding themselves up on tiny footholds. As time passes, they’ll have to maneuver down to smaller footholds. The person to last the longest from each pairing earns a point for their team. The first team to score three points will win a feast from Outback Steakhouse.

Outback Steakhouse: Live Adventurous, Go Outback.

The pairings are: Danielle and Candice (hey, the people who shouldn’t have been cast), Courtney and Amanda, Parvati and JT, Jerri and Colby (hey, Australia rematch), and Rupert and Sandra (hey, Pearl Islands rematch).

Russell will sit out.

As the challenge starts, Jeff mentions that this is Amanda’s 100th day on “Survivor.” If she’s been out there that long, she has to be a millionaire, right? No?

Wait, is that the history Jeff was talking about?  Lame.

During the challenge, JT turns to Russell and tells him to “Hang in there.”

That’s amazing, he’s not even in their tribe! Those Russell seeds are like dandelions…floating across the air and wreaking havoc.

The Survivors move down to the final footholds after twenty minutes. Colby seems to be struggling, and sure enough he’s the first to drop. The Villains score the first point.

Rupert is the next to go after an unnecessary close-up of sweat dripping off of his beard. Two points for the Villains.

Amanda is the next one having a rough time. She holds on for as long as she can, but eventually drops. Probably not how she wanted to celebrate her 100-day milestone. The Villains win the reward.

Go, Jerri. Good strategy.

We meet up with the Villains after the challenge and they’re at a faux Outback Steakhouse franchise in the middle of nowhere. You still probably have to wait 20 minutes for a table.

During the meal, Parvati finds an immunity idol clue in her napkin. She quickly stashes it in her underwear before anyone sees it.

Owww….too many jokes rushing into my brain! It’s like an ice cream headache.

Parvati and Danielle leave to use the restroom. While they’re away, Parvati shares the clue with Danielle. Apparently Parvati doesn’t think her underwear is a very good hiding place (oww….). So, Danielle decides to hide the clue in her cleavage. (OWWWWWWWWWW!)

Parvati lets us know that she’s not ready to share her well-concealed secret with Russell at this point. Uh oh.

Back at casa de Heroes, JT unveils a daring plan: JT wants to give Russell his immunity idol so he can use it against the female alliance. JT says he’ll bet his life in the game on it.

Later on, we meet up with Parvati and Danielle as they search for the hidden immunity idol. And in true Hantzian fashion they manage to find it.

Meanwhile at the Villains camp, JT is penning a love letter to hand to Russell with the immunity idol. The best part is where he tells Russell how to properly use an immunity idol. That’s like telling me how to make an obvious joke.

There was a lot of talk before tonight’s episode about this being the stupidest move in “Survivor” history. I don’t know if that’s true, but I can’t imagine this turning out well for poor JT.

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Immunity Challenge: Both tribes will start on a floating platform. One at a time, each player will have to move a bag of puzzle pieces (always puzzle pieces) along a rope and through a series of obstacles. Once all of the bags are at the end, they’ll put together a totem pole with the pieces. The first tribe to complete the puzzle wins immunity.

The Villains decide to sit Sandra out.

Survivors are ready…and they go. Jerri and Rupert start off with Rupert building a bit of a lead. JT and Danielle are out next, with Danielle managing to regain some ground. Amanda and Parvati are next with Amanda staying ahead. Courtney and Candice take the course next.

While they’re racing, Colby clues Russell in to JT’s plan. The smile on Russell face isn’t priceless. But it’s probably worth a million bucks.

Eventually Colby and Russell get into the race, but at this point the Heroes’ lead is way too big. They complete their totem pole before Russell can even get half way through the course.

As the Heroes are congratulating each other, JT hands Russell the idol.

We meet up with Parvati and Russell back at the Villains camp and true to form, they’re giggling over JT’s note. It’s a good thing JT is already a millionaire, because I’m assuming he just kicked his TV.

Politicking around camp revolves around deciding between Courtney and Sandra. Not shocking. Parvati wants to keep Courtney around because she thinks Courtney will be more loyal to her than to Russell.

That night at tribal council, Coach arrives in some kind of samurai robe. Sigh…never change, Coach.

Danielle and Sandra have it out a bit. Danielle thinks that Sandra is good at planting false information. She also thinks that Sandra had something to do with Danielle not being welcome in Boston Rob’s alliance.

J-Pro asks Parvati if she’s the boss. She laughs and says, “Of course.”

Russell tells Jeff that his vote is based on who he trusts the most. He says he took an alliance of three through an alliance of six because they trusted each other.

Jerri claims to have never been a part of Boston Rob’s alliance, but Courtney calls her out on it because she’d voted against Russell’s team.

Voting Time: And…no votes are shown.  How rude.

Apparently, once the votes are read the decision is final. One vote for Jerri, three votes for Courtney, and the tenth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” and the second member of the jury is…Courtney.

Quick Aside: Coach sitting in the jury box, cross-legged, with his hands in a prayer position is five-star funny.

Verdict: OK, I don’t think that was the stupidest move in “Survivor” history. It was more of a crazy gamble. With that idol they could have won a 5-on-5 vote. But that could have been risky because the Villains could have had an idol of their own (which they do). The way JT did it, all of that messiness would have been taken care of and Russell could have just joined up with the remaining Heroes.

I mean, how was JT supposed to know he was handing the idol to the devil?

Oh wait, he’s on a tribe called THE VILLAINS!

OK, maybe that was pretty stupid.

Who’s Going to Win? Wow, Parvati’s looking really good right now. And yes, I was referring to the game. Not that she doesn’t look good in general, too.

Power Rankings Update: Eliza Orlins won one for the All-Star squad as she had Courtney in spot ten while I had her in spot nine. The current score is now All Stars: 75, Team Gordon: 100.

What Do You Think? Was JT’s gamble the stupidest move in “Survivor” history? Will Parvati’s immunity idol secret come back to bite her? Was Coach really wearing samurai robes, or did I just wish that?

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