The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Tocantins” and “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” star Benjamin “Coach” Wade and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” recapper Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sash is voted out this week, Coach will receive 10 points and Gordon will receive 4 points. At the end of the season, the person or team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Nicaragua” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.
Last Week: Marty made it so the only way you can see Jimmy Johnson is on Sunday afternoons on Fox. Coach and “The King of Gabon” Randy Bailey picked it perfectly, having Jimmy J. in spot 18. Gordon wasn’t far off as he had him in spot 16.
Now, let’s have a quick word with our two competitors…
Gordon Holmes: How are you feeling about the game so far?
Benjamin “Coach” Wade: King and I both feel a flip flop is comin’. King keeps telling me this is reminiscent of Gabon. Let the games begin.
Gordon: I hope they’re careful with that. They did two swaps in Gabon and it really messed up a lot of strategies.
And before we start this week’s contest, let’s honor the most recent castaway…
Coach’s Requiem for Jimmy Johnson: Tell the truth and the truth shall set you FREE! Okay, so now I gotta tell the truth. For the first time ever the Dragon Slayer wants to be an assistant coach. Jimmy can I play “Survivor” with you and be your A.C.??? I really loved watching Jimmy J. and the truth is (for selfish reasons and to leave the COACH legacy) I only wanted one Coach to leave their mark on the game. And yes, that would be me.
The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: If there are gonna be celebrities on “Survivor”, then have an entire cast of celebrities. There is no place in “Survivor” to have only one celebrity.
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TEAM DRAGON SLAYER Current Score: 30 |
TEAM TRUTH SEEKER Current Score: 22 |
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| #1: Totally safe. Not here or there so I know he’s going far. I wonder how much he had to pay to get the Hendrick’s logo approved on his hat! The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Only #1 not for “power” but because he’s not goin’ anywhere. |
#1: Marty’s the one making the moves, but Jill is pulling the strings. I like this strategy, because if the rest of Espada turns on them, they’ll target Marty instead of her. |
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| #2: See above notes (minus the Hendrick’s logo). The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: No game is a good game at this point. |
#2: Brenda is like the La Flor version of Jill. If somehow they manage to lose control of the numbers, the first person picked off will be NaOnka (because she’s crazy) or Sash (because he seems to be in control). |
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| #3: The brains behind the operation, that much is becoming clear. If she and Marty stay teamed up I think she can tame his egotistical side and he can put his neck on the line and stay out in front. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still lookin’ good, don’t get too close to Marty the Mamba. |
#3: It looks like he and Marty are having a bit of a power struggle, and right now that’s a struggle Tyrone won’t win. The only thing keeping Tyrone safe right now is the fact that Espada can’t risk losing someone who’s good at challenges. |
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| #4: Lovin’ this guy. You want the other contestants to respect you for your “mentality.” Oh yeah, that’s it. A mentality of too many hits on the crack pipe, maybe. I bet the scenes on the cutting room floor are classic gold. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still waiting for something intelligent to come out of your mouth but you are getting the people’s vote. |
#4: Not much from the Biggest Bachelor in NY last week. However, if Kelly Purple Kelly’s proclamation that she only trusts the Minority Majority alliance rings true, then he should be safe for a while. |
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| #5: YEAH! Finally we get to hear you talk. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I like your game play but your forehead is too big. |
#5: A lot of people are asking; why is Purple Kelly Purple in the Minority Majority alliance? How many people do you think have purple hair? It’s not a whole lot. Therefore, she’s a minority. |
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| #6: You are either the hero or the goat takin’ on a challenge like that. Your stock just went up in my book…again. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I like what I see, but someone who uses a conjunction for his name must have issues. |
#6: Is Chase a favorite to win? No. Is he safe for the time being? Definitely. Is his “Cowboy Up” belt buckle (pictured above) twelve shades of awesome? Totally. |
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| #7: A total redneck with brains. Are you JT’s aunt? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: You are the older country crazy woman that we see every season…except you are missin’ the crazy. |
#7: I’m not a big fan of Marty’s move to dump Jimmy J. I think it’s better to keep easy boots around just in case you find your own head on the chopping block. |
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| #8: Beware of NaOnka the Nutjob. She’ll kick your ass if you cross her. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Not going anywhere with NaOnka as your forefield. |
#8: Benry needed some challenge magic after the youngsters dropped the Hay Mate challenge, and it looks like he came through with the sandbags. Probably didn’t hurt that he didn’t have someone like Jimmy T. constantly yelling at him to get out of the game. |
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| #9: You gotta admit you did go for the clue too. Wish you would have gotten it. If she messes with your leg you better beat her over the head with it. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Please friend request me on Facebook. |
#9: I still can’t get a good grip on where Yve stands within Espada. She seemed genuinely upset that Jimmy J. was going, but wasn’t shown doing anything to try to prevent it. I’m reserving judgment. |
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| #10: Have you talked to Spencer lately? You are not foolin’ me. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I’ve placed a call to my great friend and foremost celebrity expert on all things NY AND all things homosexual: Mr. Charlie Herschel. He has not responded yet, but tune in next week. |
#10: Fabio’s had a rough couple of weeks. His socks were stolen, he was given a bizarre nickname, his beloved St. Louis Cardinals didn’t make it to the playoffs. Hopefully once the Minority Majority can afford to shed some people they’ll boot NaOnka. |
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| #11: Wow. I know everyone is kickin’ your ass in the blogs, but being devil’s advocate, she’s like the new Russell, where every confessional is reality gold. You always have to have someone to hate and gurl…this is it! The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I love it when she squeaks, she sounds like a dog chew toy. |
#11: Marty must have plans for Dan. If he didn’t, why would he boot Jimmy J. first? If he’d bounced super-slow Dan last round, he’d still have the numbers to get rid of Jimmy J. the next time they lose immunity. |
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| #12: It’s only a matter of time. King of Gabon’s Two Cents: What are the editors not showing us? One week you are bat (expletive deleted) crazy the next week you are playing a great game. |
#12: I’ve got to be honest, I’m not comfortable living in a world where Kel was voted out of “Survivor: The Australian Outback” because he possibly, maybe, could’ve-had beef jerky and Holly sticks around after totally, definitely, without-a-doubt sinking Dan’s shoes. |
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| #13: I love it that you are playing the game hard early…BUT…I see a showdown between you and Tyrone coming in the near future. It’s the Dragon and the Dragon Slayer round 2. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Very cerebral, making the right moves, no flaws in your game, no way you will last. |
#13: Everyone’s giving NaOnka grief for pushing Kelly B. down. I disagree. Kelly wants to be treated like everyone else. Part of being like everyone else is being pushed around by NaOnka. But, if she needs to play the victim to stay in the game, I say play the victim. |
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| #14: See above notes on Marty. P.S.: Look ‘em in the eye when he talks to you. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still looking good, look out if the tribes switch up like we did in Gabon. You are toast. |
#14: I remember before “Survivor: Gabon” I thought, “Man, America is going to fall in love with G-C.” Boy, was I wrong. I thought the same thing about NaOnka. Something about the game must mess with some players’ heads. |
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| #15: You are clearly on the outs with your tribe. Pray for the merge. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: The edit totally shows you are in big, big trouble, therefore I know you are safe this week. |
#15: I’m not sure how heated the exchange got between Tyrone and Marty last week. But, if Marty wants to keep Tyrone happy, we could see Jimmy T. joining Jimmy J. on the bench should Espada lose the next immunity challenge. |
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| #16: Put me in, Coach. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Coach Jimmy is gone, now we can see how much game you really have. |
#16: Alina’s gotta be the dead woman walking at the La Flor camp. But, if Jill could find the immunity idol with one clue, maybe Alina can too. That (or a tribe swap) might be her only hope. |
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| #17: This game can bring you to your knees physically. Dan is starting to crumble. I don’t doubt that you have upper body strength so you better hope for a weight-lifting challenge for you to stay in the game. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: “Dude got ailments.” |
#17: I love Jane. But the facts are Espada is a weak tribe that doesn’t have the Medallion of Power. If they keep losing challenges, the target on her back is going to get bigger and bigger. |
Quick Note: Follow Gordon on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news and updates.
What Do You Think: Who’s going to win this round; Team Dragon Slayer or Team Truth Seeker? Who do you think is going home next? Is it fair to have two legendary Villains teaming up against one mildly amusing writer?
Tags: coach wade, jeff probst, Randy Bailey, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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