A Christmas Stoolie

If I had to estimate, I’d say that I’ve seen “A Christmas Story” about a jillion times. I love it. Can’t get enough of it. When TBS breaks out the 24-hour marathon, I’ll sit through about half of it.

Good times.

When I rewatch a movie, I think it’s really cool when I pick up on things I hadn’t noticed before. As an example, for the first time tonight, I noticed that every light in the house was on when Ralphie’s mom turned off the leg lamp to save electricity. Hilarious.

However, sometimes you notice something that can sour you on a character.

What I’m referring to specifically is when poor Flick comes back in after having his tongue removed from the flagpole. Ms. Shields tells us that Flick has decided not to say who put him up to it.

Good for you, Flick. Stitches are for snitches. Although actually, Flick probably required stitches for the horrid gash he received on his tongue. But you get the point.

However, later on, what does Ralphie do when he’s asked to give up the person who taught him the “F dash dash dash” word? He fingers Schwartz.

Some would argue that the beating Schwartz took at the hands of his mother is karma for what he did to poor Flick. But where’s Ralphie’s comeuppance? Soap in the mouth? Over a beating or a bleeding tongue? Ralphie gets off with a much lighter sentence. And he’s rewarded with a freakin’ Red Ryder b.b. gun.

No justice in the world, I tell ya.

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