Note: I’m aware that the headline for this article is brutal. However, I apologize for nothing.
Last Week: Boston Rob scored the first of the immunity idol clues, Zapatera faced a challenge and intentionally tried to lose, while Russell being voted out was the episode’s big news.
39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…
The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Kristina – 46, Law Student
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Technology Executive
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)
David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Krista – 25, Pharmaceutical Rep
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer
Stephanie – 26, Waitress
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player
Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing hope)
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Russell – 38, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
We start off at Redemption Island where Matt is telling us how cool it is that he’s been blindsided by Boston Rob and is now bunking with Russell. Sounds like a “Survivor” fantasy camp to me.
The following morning, Phillip is annoying his tribe mates by sweeping the campsite while they’re trying to sleep.
When I’m teaching my class at “Survivor” fantasy camp…
Rule #1: Don’t be noisy while other people are trying to sleep.
Rule #2: Don’t try to sweep dirt off of a dirt floor.
Not only that, but Boston Rob is annoyed that Phillip is wandering around in his fuchsia tighty-whiteys.
Rule #3: When “Survivor” gives you your swimwear, wear it.
Over at Zapatera, Natalie and Krista know that they’re next on the chopping block. Their only hope? Finding the immunity idol.
Steve realizes this must be their next move. Ralph lets him know that that isn’t a concern by showing him and the rest of the alliance his hidden immunity idol.
Mike and Julie are both worried that Russell could come back into the game and get them. That’s the best part of the Redemption Island twist, it turns Russell Hantz into Freddy Krueger.
Special invites for Redemption Island arrive in tree mail. Phillip and Kristina will attend for Ometepe, while Ralph and Sarita will attend for Zapatera. Formal dress is optional.
Before the challenge starts off, Russell lets us know that Matt’s a good guy, but he’ll have to destroy him. All part of keeping hope alive, I guess.
Matt intends to win to honor his God. Uh-oh, last time Russell squared off against a prayer warrior Natalie White walked out with a million-dollar check.
Redemption Island Challenge: Each of the competitors will use a set of dominoes to build a line that travels up and down a wobbly bridge. Once a player is happy with his line of blocks, he’ll return to the beginning and set off the domino reaction. If it successfully reaches the end, it will knock a ball down a ramp and through a tile. If not, they’ll have to start all over again. The first person to break their tile earns redemption (for this episode, at least).
We start off and Matt gets off to a bit of a lead. He’s finally happy with his set-up and knocks the first block over. It gets about halfway through and stops.
Russell’s up next. He starts it off and has the same result as Matt, only about half-way.
Confession: I’m not a Russell fan. (I tend to root for Tyson Apostol and Carolina Eastwood.) But I’ll admit that my heart sunk when Russell’s dominoes stopped. What can I say, the guy’s fun to watch.
Matt hustles and gives his line another try. He sets it off…and is successful. The tile is broken, Matt wins redemption, Russell is a goner, and socks everywhere rejoice.
With Russell’s fate no longer in doubt, Dr. Probst then cover hope with a sheet. The official time of hope’s death was 8:13 pm ET.
During the post-challenge wrap-up, Russell starts to well up and cry. He pulls his hat down over his eyes so the others can’t see his tears.
When Russell finally does speak, he says he respects the game too much to go out like that. He then tears into Ralph and Sarita for throwing the challenge.
Ralph takes exception to this, even admitting that he already has the immunity idol. Krista tries to talk him out of showing Russell the idol, but it’s too late. The secret is out.
Ralph acts like he was faking, but he didn’t count on having a five-star former federal agent sitting nearby. Phillip uses his razor-sharp fib-detecting skills to determine that Ralph does in fact have the idol.
Russell keeps the information exchange going, telling Phillip what the alliances are at Zapatera beach.
When it’s over, Russell drops his buff in the fire. He tells us that this will be his last time playing the game as he has nothing left to prove. Except…you know…that he can win the game.
Meanwhile back at Ometepe, Boston Rob welcomes an afternoon without Kristina and Double-0 Phillip. He proposes a game of Royal Treatment. The rules of Royal Treatment are never fully explained, but it seems to be some form of beach bocce-ball game where the winner gets whatever they want.
The tribe seems into it, so they set out for a relaxing day at the beach.
However, this was all a ruse so Boston Rob can get the tribe out of the way so he can look for the immunity idol. Boston Rob fakes having some…internal issues…and sneaks out to go idol huntin’.
Rob turns the forest upside-down looking for it. Eventually he finds it up in a tree.
Quick Aside: Wow, Royal Treatment?! A fake game to distract his tribe? Rob is playing this game on a different level.
Ironically, if Rob had won Royal Treatment, I bet he would have asked for Russell to be bounced from the game and to find an immunity idol.
Back at Zapatera, Sarita and Ralph are relaying the Redemption Island events to their tribe. Stephanie and Krista take offense to the way Sarita describes Russell’s exit.
Rule #4: You don’t have to defend someone once they’re out of the game.
Over at Ometepe, Phillip comes up with a plan to use the Zapatera info to improve his placement in the alliance. He shares this plan with Kristina and tells her he’ll try to work her into the alliance too.
Kristina rolls her eyes and responds, “You have experience in these covert matters, so whatever you think.” Wow, I didn’t know a sarcasm amplifier could go to eleven.
Phillip takes Rob and Grant aside and offers to spill the beans in exchange for adding Kristina to the alliance. Rob smartly realizes that this means that Phillip doesn’t feel secure with his place in the alliance.
Also, I did the math, if they add Kristina to the alliance, who are they aligning against? The crabs?
Immunity Challenge Time: It’s relay time, baby! One member from each team will run across a balance beam onto the course. They’ll arrive at a crate. They’ll use a crowbar to pry open the crate and retrieve a shovel. They’ll then run back with the crowbar.
Running with tools? That seems dangerous.
The next member will run out and retrieve the shovel. They’ll dig in the ground to uncover an axe. The next member will use the axe to hack through a piece of wood and release two hand saws. Then two members will use the handsaws to cut through a wall of planks. Then, two other players will use the planks to complete a bridge puzzle. Once the bridge is completed, the entire tribe must cross the course (with the tools) and meet on a platform. Once they’re all on the platform, they’ll have to untie a hammer. When the hammer is untied, they’ll use it to drive in three nails that will break three tiles. First tribe to break all three of their tiles wins immunity, barbecue supplies, and food for a cookout.
Oh, and all of the tools are affordable, durable Sears Craftsman Tools.
Sears. Where It Begins.
Krista will sit out for Zapatera.
The relay starts off with Boston Rob and Rooster Ralph taking the lead for their teams. Ralph takes a slight lead for Zapatera, but Boston Rob is right behind him.
Julie and Grant are next out. They grab shovels and uncover the hatchets. Julie has a slight lead.
Ralph and Rob are out again. Ralph tears through the log with the hatchet. Boston Rob seems to be slowing down a bit.
Steve and Mike are out for Zapatera and go to work with the saws. Rob finally releases his team’s saws. Grant and Phillip rush out and start on the wall.
Mike and Steve make quick work of the planks while Phillip and Grant fall behind. Stephanie and Sarita are now on the course to put together the ramp. Rob and Kristina eventually join them. Zapatera finishes their ramp first with Ometepe slightly behind them.
Stephanie and Ashley go to work untying their hammers. Stephanie releases Zapatera’s hammer first. Ralph grabs the hammer and quickly drives the nails through the tiles. Zapatera wins immunity and reward.
OK, seriously? What’s with the tile hate this season?
During the celebration, Ralph stands on the table and unleashes his mighty rooster call.
Rule #5: The trademark move that your tribe loves is making the other tribe hate you.
Back at Zapatera, Mike wins the Overshare of the Week award letting us know that he’s been so hungry he hasn’t been thinking about sex. Thanks, Mike.
Meanwhile, Ralph tells us that he enjoyed the barbecue so much that he’s been sucking his fingernails that haven’t been cleaned since the start of the show. I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say they weren’t that clean before the show.
Ralph even goes so far as to offer to lick some mustard off of Steve’s nose. So maybe Ralph doesn’t share Mike’s problem?
Over at Ometepe, Phillip holds his post-challenge round table. It literally looks like everyone wearing an orange buff wants to strangle him.
Some girl named Ashley tells us that Phillip is annoying and should go home. Who is this girl? An extra? Purple Ashley?
Natalie thinks it’s strange that Kristina isn’t scrambling looking for the idol. That’s actually an excellent point. Funny how this game evolves.
Rob realizes what Kristina is up to, and thinks she’s far more dangerous than Phillip. Rob even decides to split the votes so his alliance won’t think he has the idol. I’m telling you, Rob’s on a different level right now.
That night at Tribal Council, Natalie tells J-Pro that she thinks Kristina deserves a second chance.
Boston Rob disagrees, saying she hasn’t really been a part of the tribe.
Kristina thinks they should vote out the weakest link, meaning someone who is disruptive. She considers Phillip to be disruptive.
Phillip disagrees, saying he’s a doer and that Kristina only shows up around meal time.
Phillip then proceeds to give his entire life story.
Seriously, who do I talk to about getting a Coach vs. Phillip podcast? It’d be weeks long.
Voting Time: Phillip votes for Kristina, Kristian votes for Phillip, and you’ll know the rest soon enough.
Actually, you’ll know the rest now. One vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina, one vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina, one vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina…and the fourth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Kristina.
Verdict: I was worried that the show would peak too early if they booted a big name during Redemption Island, but Rob’s clever maneuvering and a healthy dose of Vitamin Phillip kept it on track.
Who’s Going to Win? For all of Rob’s great moves, the move to boot Matt may be the one that dooms him. If Ometepe keeps losing challenges they could be wiped out by the Zapatera Six post-merge. From there I like David to take it.
Power Rankings Update: Close one this week with Sash getting the edge. Sash had Kristina in spot 15 while I had her in spot 14. Both of us thought Russell would prevail at Redemption Island, so no bonus points for either competitor. Sash still leads by a score of 38 to 34.
Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.
Tags: jeff probst, rob mariano, Russell Hantz, survivor, Survivor: Redemption Island
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