More Whatnot

Jeff Probst once said that “Survivor: Palau’s” Tom Westman was the most dominant “Survivor” winner ever. He believed that the New York fireman’s victory would probably never be topped.

Well, last night “Boston” Rob Mariano topped it.

I had a chance to speak with Boston Rob the morning after his impressive victory to find out the best way to handle bitter jury members, if he and Grant have made peace, and what Federal Agent Phillip is really like…

Gordon Holmes: So, this smart-a–, know-it-all writer said there was no way Russell or Rob would get to the merge, much less win the million dollars. What would you say to a person like that?
‘Boston’ Rob Mariano: Who was that? Was that you, Gordon?
Gordon: Uh…it might have been.
Boston Rob: (Laughs) I would say, I’m often underestimated, and I love to be the underdog and have the deck stacked against me. That’s when I’m at my best.
Gordon: A group of players, who know who you are and who’ve seen you on TV, allowing you to play your game boggles my mind. Did that hold you back at all when they pitched the idea of you and Russell coming back?
Boston Rob: Literally there wasn’t a lot of time. I was in Las Vegas playing in the World Series of Poker when the phone rang and it was Mark Burnett. He basically said to me, “Hey, what are you doing in a few weeks? How would you like to go back? We want to do this with you and Russell.” And just being a competitor and someone who loves the game, it didn’t take long. All I had to do was get the OK from my wife. From the time he called to the time I was on a flight to Nicaragua was less than three weeks time. So, there are no guarantees in “Survivor.” It can or cannot go your way. Luck plays a part of it, but I also thought I had a good enough foundation, and if I was able to get my foot in the door and build relationships I’d be able to exploit those to my advantage.

Gordon: There were some bitter jury members last night, I’m thinking of Julie in particular. Is there anything at all you can say to somebody who can’t see that you just view “Survivor” as a game?
Boston Rob: It was sad at that point. I thought it was pretty pathetic, actually. I’m happy that Julie gave me her vote, but I didn’t like the way she ripped into Natalie. She said Natalie’s parents wouldn’t be proud of her, but at the same time, what kind of example are you setting for your daughter? It was pretty ironic, I thought. And with Grant, some people set their own pace. He’s gonna take longer than others. Some people never get over it. I view it as a game. I’m not going to draw a line in the sand and say I’m not going to cross it when I’m playing for a million dollars, cause all you’re doing is handicapping yourself.
Gordon: Do you think Julie went too far by telling you how to raise your daughters?
Boston Rob: At that point she could be fishing for me to give her a reaction. And I think the best reaction I can give her is no reaction. I’m smarter than that.

Gordon: Speaking of your daughters, there you have two young ladies who are being brought up by “Survivor” champions. Are they being raised to be “Survivor” machines?
Boston Rob: (Laughs) You know what? They love the show, we watch every Wednesday night. Who knows, if the show is still on in twenty years, Mr. Burnett may give them a spot on the show.
Gordon: Are they old enough to appreciate that Daddy’s on TV, or are they still too little?
Boston Rob: The older one, she knows. And the live show was exciting for her. She saw Daddy on stage. She hasn’t fully grasped it yet.
Gordon: You need to hold onto those DVDs for them.

Gordon: You mentioned your issue with Grant and in the past I know “Survivor: All Stars” created a rift between you and Lex Van den Berghe, was that bridge ever mended?
Boston Rob: The bridge with Lex was never mended. I reached out to Lex, I flew to California to have lunch with him, but it was something he wasn’t able to get past. Maybe he has gotten past it now, but our relationship was never mended and we don’t have any contact. As far as Grant goes I reached out to him on numerous occasions. I don’t know what to attribute it to. I feel like I did form a relationship with Grant, and out of everybody I thought he’d handle it the best. He’d be able to see it as just a game.
Gordon: That’s a shame. Hopefully you two will be able to make peace.
Boston Rob: Apparently it’s affected him on a personal level. Hopefully he’ll come around. I like Grant, I think he’s a good guy.

Gordon: On the opposite end of the spectrum, you seem to have won an advocate in David. What was going through your head during his jury speech?
Boston Rob: It was great. Good to have a lawyer in my corner! He definitely surprised me. I always knew David was an intelligent player. I was happy that he respected the game I played. I can’t thank him enough, it was great. I’d like to think I would have gotten the votes anyway, but it definitely didn’t hurt.

Gordon: It seemed like Mike or Matt could have slipped back into the game with a lot of friends in the jury. Did that concern you?
Boston Rob: Very concerned, it was a real possibility. If Mike or Matt gets back into the game they win hands down. I think the only situation in which I’m a winner is to have the final three exactly as they were. And to do that was a lot of work. It looked easy on TV, but I was constantly working and strategizing.
Gordon: Do you really think Ashley could have beaten you?
Boston Rob: I think Ashley had a good enough relationship with other people on Zapatera that they would have rather voted for her. So yes, I do.
Gordon: Obviously I wasn’t out there, but it seemed to me like Ashley would’ve been painted with the same “Coattail Rider” brush that Natalie was.
Boston Rob: Here’s the thing, I would agree with you, but at that point Ashley had won two immunity challenges, and if she had won the third she could say she was a competitor. If I’m in her situation, that’s the case I would make, I was saving it all for the end and I won the final three immunity challenges.

Gordon: Let’s do some word association here. We’ll start with Ashley.
Boston Rob: Ashley’s a sweetheart.
Gordon: Andrea?
Boston Rob: A competitor and a hard worker.
Gordon: Grant?
Boston Rob: Grant was a friend.
Gordon: Ralph?
Boston Rob: Funny.
Gordon: Julie?
Boston Rob: Julie was disappointing.
Gordon: Phillip?
Boston Rob: A goodhearted guy.
Gordon: Natalie?
Boston Rob: Natalie is like a sister to me.
Gordon: Alright, let’s finish this off with Sole Survivor “Boston” Rob Mariano.
Boston Rob: Thank God, it’s about time. Now I can rest.
Gordon: Is there more elation over the victory or more relief that you’re finally done with it?
Boston Rob: Let’s just say we’re on an even playing ground in my house.
Gordon: Was that being held over your head?
Boston Rob: (Laughs) Amber’s going to get the check anyway, I’m just happy to have the title. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time.

Gordon: What side of Phillip didn’t we see?
Boston Rob: This guy just wants some love and he wants some attention. If you took a minute to listen to him, he came from a big family and had to do a lot on his own. And people were afraid to get close to him because he was abrasive. But, at the same time, he’s still a human being and I realized if I was able to give this guy some love that he would work for me. And I’m telling you, I get the whole he’s nuts, he’s crazy stuff, but at the same time, he’s a good guy. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

Gordon: Jerri Manthey and I talked about a multi-season character arc where she went from being a young villain, to someone who had problems with her notoriety, to a woman who is finally happy with herself. You’ve gone through something similar with your transformation. If your “Survivor” journey is now complete, was last night the perfect ending?
Boston Rob: It’s everything I’ve ever wanted to do. I love the game of “Survivor.”

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Last Episode: Andrea discovered there were no vacancies at Redemption Island, Ashley treated her buddy Natalie to room service, and Grant experienced an unexpected early check-out.

Tonight…

Will “Survivor” Hall of Famer Boston Rob finally claim the title of Sole Survivor?
Will Phillip become the first federal agent (?) to win the million dollars?
Will Natalie become the second Natalie to ride someone’s coattails to victory?
Will Matt be the second Fabio-looking dude in a row to win?
Will one of the 40 other people on Redemption Island have a chance to return to the game and take the title?
Will Ashley…no…she definitely won’t.

Alright, I’m psyched. Buckle up…let’s do this…

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing an eventual ticket back into the game)
Andrea – 21, Student
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine

We start this show off with the kids at Redemption Island. Apparently Grant isn’t sure if it was Rob or Phillip that broke up Stealth R Us. He never saw it coming. C’mon, Grant! Of course you didn’t see it coming, “Stealth” is right there in the nickname.

Andrea isn’t happy to see Grant as she feels the challenge deck is stacked against her with three studs. She’s got a point.

Tree mail let’s the gang know that the winner of the next Redemption Island challenge will return to the game. Mike is excited that his Redemption Island purgatory has come to an end, but annoyed that the tree mail message wasn’t a pizza.

Redemption Island Challenge Time: The players will place one foot on the end of a teeter-totter. The other end has a vase on it. If their foot drops, their vase will smash and they’ll be eliminated. Last vase standing returns to the game.

Yes! I love “stand in one place forever” challenges.

Twenty minutes into it and everyone is still going strong. They should let the Murlonians tickle the players. Or at least throw water balloons at them.

Grant’s vase drops after forty minutes. Rob gives himself a mental high five.

Matt’s vase drops an hour into it. Wow…I tip my Cardinals hat to the kid, he lasted forever on Redemption Island.

Mike and Andrea wiggle around a bit, with Mike eventually losing his balance and his vase. Andrea returns to the game.

Whataya say, guys? Hottest final five since Fans vs. Favorites?

Back at camp, Andrea immediately goes to work on Natalie and Ashley, telling them that the Redemption Islanders are considering voting for Phillip out of spite. Smart.

Natalie comes up with the strategy of “relaxing today and figuring it all out tomorrow.” Less smart.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will race across a balance beam collecting bags of tiles. The players will then place those tiles in numeric order. First person to get all 100 tiles in place wins immunity and a spot in the final four.

Not much to describe here except for some balancin’ and some tile placin’.

Rob got off to a slight lead early on, but Ashley was able to pass him and win immunity.

When the tribe returns to camp, Rob flat out tells Andrea that she’s the next to go. He gathers his alliance and they all agree that Andrea’s return to the game will be short lived.

Ashley and Natalie then take a break to discuss what to do next. Ashley wants to make sure that Phillip is the next to go home. Natalie agrees and they pinky swear on it. Whoa…that’s serious.

Phillip breaks out some secret agent flavor and tells Rob that he doesn’t like that the girls are talking strategy without him.

As the boys are talking strategy about the girls talking strategy, Andrea goes to Ashley and Natalie and tells them that the remnants of Stealth R Us are talking about voting out the girls. Andrea tells them she’s voting for Rob and if they want to make their move that now is the time.

Andrea is earning some mad “Survivor” respect from me tonight. She doesn’t have much to work with, but she’s doing her best.

Rob lets us know that he’s tempted to not use his immunity idol because he likes to gamble. Yeah, I watched the reality show where he tried to become a professional poker player. Gambling didn’t work out so well for him.

That night at Tribal Council, Rob tells Probsty that paranoia is high around the camp.

Phillip the Undercover Specialist has been keeping his eyes and ears open.

Ashley admits that people would love to be the one to take Boston Rob out. Well, he is a first-ballot “Survivor” Hall of Famer.

Andrea thinks the girls haven’t done anything strategic at this point. She thinks taking out Rob would earn the jury’s respect.

Rob thinks Andrea is a real threat because she’s likable and she does well in the challenges.

Voting Time: Andrea votes for Rob…and that’s the only vote we’ll see.

Probst gets his tally on and returns. He asks if anyone wants to play an immunity idol…and Rob does. One vote for Rob (doesn’t count), two votes for Andrea, and the sixteenth person voted out of “Survivor: Redemption Island” and the eighth member of the jury is…Andrea.

Wow…with Natalie and Ashley not making a move, Andrea’s got to be considered a Rob vote if he makes it to the end, right?

Back at camp, Rob tells Ashley and Natalie that he’s taking them both to the final three. And seriously? He should. I know it seems smart to take Phillip, but Andrea’s going to be talking trash on those two ladies like crazy.

Immunity Challenge Time: Whoa…this set-up is impressive. The players will race through a giant maze and collect four bags of puzzle pieces. Once they have all four bags they’ll race to the top of a platform and put together a word puzzle. First person to complete their word puzzle wins immunity and will go on to the final Tribal Council.

Wait a minute…we didn’t get a fallen comrade march? How will I know who was a “competitor”?

Rob gets the four bags first, but Ashley is right behind him. They seem to be working on the word puzzle together, but it’s hard to tell if Ashley is being honest with Rob. Rob eventually figures it out and wins immunity…and he is ecstatic! He tells us that it doesn’t matter if he wins anymore because he’s done Amber proud.

That brings up a question; is Rob going to propose to both of the other members of the final three at the reunion show?

Back at camp, Rob explains that he wants to get rid of Ashley, but realizes it’ll take some convincing to get Natalie to go along with it. With immunity on his side, I don’t know why Rob needs to blindside anyone.

But Rob’s right, Natalie is very concerned about losing Ashley as a friend. I’ve got to say, a friend who’ll sniff your armpits after you’ve been in the wilderness for four weeks doesn’t come along every day.

That night at Tribal Council, Ashley says losing the challenge was a “Bummer.” Ashley’s deep.

Phillip doesn’t think he’s a big threat because he hasn’t won any challenges. Isn’t that the argument Probst made a few weeks ago?

Ashley says she could have thrown Rob under the bus a few times but didn’t. She also says she has a better shot to win than Natalie or Phillip. Not a great argument to keep you around, Ash.

Voting Time: Phillip votes for Ashley, Ashley votes for Phillip, and the rest are lost to the magic of editing.

One vote for Ashley, one vote for Phillip, one vote for Ashley, and the seventeenth person voted out of “Survivor: Redemption Island” and the ninth and final member of the jury is…Ashley.

The following morning, Phillip gets dressed up in his finest feather and lets us know that he’s going to let the jury know why they’re there and why he’s in the final three. Oh, color me giddy.

Rob gives Natalie a course in Jury 101. He tells her that instead of apologizing to the jury, she should tell them to kiss her a–. Rob claims he’s doing this because that’s how he wants her to act. I think you should never apologize to a jury. But, that’s easy to say from the comfort of my couch.

Then, Phillip burns his famous salmon-colored undies. What?! That’s eBay gold!

That night at the Final Tribal Council, Natalie tells the jury that she played the best game she could. She felt like her strength was her social skills and that she was loyal to her alliance from the beginning.

Phillip (wearing his feather) tells the jury that his original strategy was to vote Rob off. However, he changed his mind and Rob saved him.

Rob tells the jury that he won four individual immunities, he made several alliances, and he was a hard worker around camp. However, none of that matters because it’s all in the jury’s hands now.

Andrea goes first, she asks Phillip which Phillip is the real Phillip. He says that if she doesn’t know the real him she shouldn’t vote for him. Yeah, that sounds about right. Andrea then asks Natalie why she’d stab her best friend in the back to ride Rob’s coattails. Natalie says her and Rob had an alliance from the beginning.

Ashley goes next. She doesn’t want to ask Phillip a question because she doesn’t want to hear his voice. You can imagine how well that went over. She thanks Phillip for helping her to become more patient. Phillip did not take that as a compliment. Ashley then digs into Natalie a bit. She then tells Rob that she doesn’t know who he is and after being voted out, doesn’t want to know.

Then, Grant asks Natalie what the dynamic of the alliance was. She again says that her and Rob have been aligned since the beginning. Rob says that Natalie came up to him and said, “Tell me what to do.” He also says he stayed with Grant until he became too much of a threat.

Ralph and his hat are the next to go. Ralph thinks that the relationship between Natalie and Rob was creepy. Ralph also thinks Natalie never talked to him because Rob told her not to. Ralph is also disappointed that Phillip isn’t wearing a whole chicken on his head. Phillip then tells Ralph that they would have been friends if they were on the same tribe.

Matt follows that up by saying Rob has been duplicitous, manipulating, deceiving, and a liar. Wow, they must’ve had a Thesaurus at Ponderosa. He then asks where the line is drawn after ten years of “Survivor.” Rob says the line is drawn at his real life. He admits that everyone thought they were going to the end with him until he voted them out.

Julie doesn’t think anyone played a respectable game. She wonders if Natalie’s parents will be proud of her. She then tells Phillip that the reason he made it to the end is because nobody on the jury respects him. Phillip says he wasn’t there to earn her respect, he was there to kick a little a–.

Oh man, put that on a t-shirt and I’ll buy it.

Julie follows that up by saying Rob should teach his daughters to be strong women and not to be treated the way Natalie was treated.

Yikes…bitter jury.

Mike gives it a go next. He wants to know if the final three have learned anything about themselves. Natalie says she’s learned that’s she’s stronger and more capable than she thought she was. Rob thinks he needs to stop playing games and this’ll be his last day on “Survivor.”

Uh oh…”Survivor” producers didn’t like that.

Phillip says he is a beacon in the Sheppard family.

Steve congratulates Natalie and Rob for their games. He then tells Phillip that he’s sorry that Phillip has become a shameful man. Wow…and no response from Phillip on that one.

David finishes it up with a speech to the jury. He tells them that there is really only one choice, Boston Rob. He says Rob played the best strategic game in the history of the show.

And I would have to agree with him. If Rob doesn’t win it will be a crime.

Voting Time: David votes for Rob, Ralph votes for “Phile,” and the rest will wait till Probst makes a trip to New York.

And we’re transported to New York. And soon-to-be Power Rankings champion Matthew “Sash” Lenahan is in the audience!

Let’s count some votes; we’ve got one vote for Rob, one vote for “Phile,” three votes for Rob, and the winner of “Survivor: Redemption Island” is…Rob.

Verdict: Jeff Probst said this season was in his top five. I’m going to disagree. Too many obvious votes for too long. But, it did have some entertaining characters, and I think Redemption Island has some promise with a few tweaks.

I will say this though, I never thought Rob or Russell would survive past the merge. I was wrong. So, congrats to Rob for the most dominating victory since Tom Westman in “Survivor: Palau.”

Power Rankings Results: I pitched a perfect game with the last round of the Power Rankings, with Andrea, Mike and Matt winning Redemption and Grant getting the boot. However, that wasn’t enough to stop Matthew “Sash” Lenahan from winning with a final score of 253 to -16. Congratulation, Sash!

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Last Week: Phillip recovered his shorts, Andrea regretted turning on Matt, Grant rewarded Rob’s friendship with cake, Ashley and Natalie refused to do anything that required strategy, and Steve and Ralph were sent to a place that offers redemption.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing a population boom)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Writer’s Note: I hate spelling “Murlonio.” For some reason the proper spelling doesn’t stick in my head. Who do I talk to about having them go back to “Ometepe”?

We start off this week’s show with Ralph making his way to Redemption Island. He’s only there a few minutes before Steve joins the party. They shake hands and exchange hugs.

I find this troublesome. There’s no stress at Redemption Island other than “Who’s going to win the challenge?” There’s no backstabbing or strategy. Are we going to end up with a situation where the person who goes back into the game is BFFs with the entire jury?

Steve does the math and points out that the majority of the jury will be former Zapaterans. Oof…I don’t think I like this.

Meanwhile over at Murlonio, Natalie breaks down a little because she misses her family. If only “Survivor” would do something where a player’s family member could come visit them…

The following morning Tree Mail arrives in the form of a box marked with a Sprint logo.

Sprint…The Now Network

Sure enough, the box contains a Sprint Epic 4G phone that is full of videos from home.

I’m putting the “Proud” count at three.

We get to hear from Natalie’s mom (proud), Andrea’s dad (not proud), Phillip’s sister (not proud), Rob’s sister (proud), Grant’s sister’s husband (not proud), and Ashley’s mother (not proud).

Only two prouds?!

However, the Murlonians weren’t the only ones to receive a phone. It seems like the Sprint folks made a special delivery to Redemption Island too.

Proud count at two.

We see videos from Ralph’s buddy (proud), Michael’s mom (not proud), Steve’s brother (not proud), and Matt’s brother (not proud).

One?! One lousy proud? I’d be proud of my sister for surviving 31 days in the wilderness.

Redemption Island Challenge Time: Each player will try to break a series of four tiles with a ball. First person to break all of their tiles gets to spend time with their loved one. The last person to break all of their tiles will be eliminated.

Round 1: Matt, Ralph, and Steve miss, Mike hits one.

Round 2: All four guys break a tile.

Round 3: Matt, Mike, and Ralph break a tile. Steve misses.

Round 4: Matt, Ralph, and Steve miss. Mike hits his final tile winning “Love” from a family member.

It always weirds me out a little to hear J-Pro refer to it as winning “Love.”

Round 5: Matt and Ralph break their third tiles, Steve misses.

Round 6: Matt and Ralph both break their fourth tiles, Steve is eliminated from the game.

Before Mike can claim his “Love,” J-Pro tells Mike that he has a choice between the Redemption Islanders spending time with their loved ones, or the Murlonians spending time with their loved ones.

Mike quotes some scripture, then decides to do right by the most people and allow the Murlotians to visit with their loved ones.

Probst is shocked, but Mike’s mom isn’t. She knows her son is a hero. Yeah, the military is having a good week.

Back at camp, Ashley is showing her mother around the hut. Apparently it’s Ashley’s responsibility to mark the calendar every day. That’ll shut up those people who think she doesn’t do anything.

Andrea’s dad asks the question that America has been wondering; how does she still look so good after 30 days out in the wilderness? So unfair.

Rob breaks down his strategy to his sister…wait…where’s Amber?! Anywho, he tells her that Grant and Natalie both think they’re going to the end with him, and if they’d just talk to each other he’d be in trouble.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will race to retrieve a set of puzzle steps. They’ll then place those steps on a giant staircase. First person to place all their pieces and get to the top wins immunity.

Andrea, Grant, and Rob jump ahead with the first set of steps. Grant gets a bit of a lead after the second set but Rob and Andrea are right behind him. During the final set, Rob manages to take the lead, but his legs start to give out on him. It’s ugly. He’s literally using a step as a crutch to get up the stairs. Somehow he manages to complete the final set and win immunity.

Wow, Rob’s a mess. His legs are cramped and he’s dehydrated. Natalie brings him water. He nearly passes out while drinking it.

Yikes, Probst must be having “Heroes vs. Villains” flashbacks to Rob’s collapse.

Politicking around camp seems to be focused on lovely young Andrea. However, Phillip isn’t going to let them have a leisurely afternoon without sprinkling a little crazy on it.

Phillip wants us to know that this has been his plan all along. He wanted to NaOnka his way to the finals. I don’t believe this for one second. Phillip was very close to being the first person out of Ometepe. I think he’s trying to make himself look good in hindsight.

Phillip is also convinced that he has a Final Tribal Council argument to use against Rob that nobody else has thought of. Oh geez, let’s see…

1.    Rob’s already been on the show thirty times?
2.    Rob’s wife is a millionaire and he doesn’t need the money?
3.    Rob will eventually have to stab most people in the back?
4.    Rob lied about where the term “Murlonio” comes from?

Sorry Phillip, those arguments have already been thought of. Unless you’re going to argue that Rob doesn’t deserve votes because he’s a Red Sox fan. That’d totally sway my vote.

That night at Tribal Council, Andrea claims to be confident with the relationships she has formed.  Hmm…

Jeff asks Phillip if it’s a benefit to not be good at challenges. Phillip disregards the questions and goes on about how good he is at challenges. J-Pro’s working for you, Phillip. Keep quiet for once.

Grant thinks being yourself is the best thing you can do in the game, because it’s easy to see through people. How Rob kept from giggling I’ll never know.

Probsty asks if anyone feels nervous about the night’s vote. Nobody raises their hand. That’s amazing. Sorry, that’s AMAZING. How does everyone feel safe? That’s unpossible. (‘Survivor” points for whoever gets that reference.)

Voting Time: No votes are shown.

Probst does his tallying duties and returns; we’ve got one vote for Andrea, one vote for Phillip, two votes for Andrea and the fourteenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Andrea.

Verdict: No shocker there. In fact, we haven’t had a shocking vote since Matt was voted out the second time.

Redemption Island is scaring the crap out of me. I can’t help but think the season will fall flat if the ultimate winner comes from there. When it was one-on-one duels it was cool, but now you can stick around by coming in third.

Who’s Going to Win? As if Rob’s argument about leading and manipulating Ometepe wasn’t impressive enough, now he has a series of immunity wins to back it up. It’s going to be a crime when he loses.

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Matt and Mike as our Redemption Island picks. So, we both earn two points. Sash and I both had Andrea in spot six. So, we both earn six points. The current score is now Team Sash 137 to Team Gordon 124. I pitched another perfect game and still can’t gain ground on Sash! Unfair. However, none of the readers did better than I did. Although @truedorktimes gets extra credit for picking all three of the Redemption Island winners correctly.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Last Week: Phillip proved that while he may not be playing with a full deck, he certainly has a race card, Rob again earned the crown of puzzle king, and Julie showed her hand at Tribal Council and was sent packing.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing concern)

Julie – 50, Firefighter
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine

We start off with the Murlonios returning from Tribal Council. Steve takes Phillip aside and tries to clear the air. Thank goodness. Last week’s episode ruined my whole evening. Phillip accepts the apology, but let’s us know that he doesn’t trust Steve and he’ll be the next to go.

Later on, Rob says that as long as Phillip keeps up his crazy antics he’ll be safe. Thank you, Russell Hantz and NaOnka Mixon for adding that wrinkle to the game. When I get on this show (for the “Survivor: Press vs. Probst” season) I fully intend to walk around insulting people’s mothers.

The following morning Phillip has a conversation with the spirit of his great great grandfather. The topic of conversation? Not the meaning of life, but the location of Phillip’s hidden shorts.

OK, in 2112 when my great great grandson is on “Survivor: Press’ Ancestors vs. Probst’s Ancestors,” I hope I’m too busy eating Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream in heaven to care about anyone’s missing shorts.

There must be something to it though, cause Phillip manages to find the shorts. He also thinks that like Jack Nicholson said, Julie “Can’t stand the truth.”  Well, maybe Jack Nicholson said that at some point, but I’m pretty sure his famous line had something to do with handling the truth. I could be wrong though, I didn’t consult my great great grandfather.

Meanwhile over at Redemption Island, Matt’s there in the corner, Matt’s there in the spotlight losing his religion. Just kidding, he’s totally still got it, but he’s super bummed about staying in the game.

Redemption Island Challenge Time: “Survivor” shuffle board, baby! The players will slide pucks across a board. If you get all three pucks into the end zone, you stay. If not? You go home.

Before the challenge gets underway, Matt lets Probst know that he’s ready to go if he doesn’t win the challenge.

First Shot: Mike hits the end zone, Matt and Julie miss.
Second Shot: Mike and Julie each get one in the end zone, Matt misses.

Third Shot: Matt hits his shot, Mike and Julie miss.

Fourth Shot: Matt hits another shot, Mike and Julie miss again.

Fifth Shot: Matt lands a third puck, he survives. Mike misses, Julie knocks one of her own pucks off.

Sixth Shot: Mike lands his third puck, he also survives.

Before Julie can go, Jeff asks her why she came on “Survivor.” She breaks down a bit as she explains that her house is in foreclosure and she needed the money. However, she’s happy that she’ll be having peanut butter soon.

Quick Aside: That’s really what this season has been missing. After someone loses at Redemption Island, it doesn’t have the same weight as when they were voted out at Tribal Council in previous seasons. They’ve just become an instant afterthought. If they do Redemption Island again, they need more moments like this.

Back at camp, Andrea lets us know that she’s starting to feel bad about how she played Matt. Rob tries to put her at ease by telling her that everyone is responsible for voting Matt out.

Later, Grant and Rob decide that Andrea should go home soon. They worry that Andrea is too close with the Zapaterans and they don’t want her buddying up with Matt if he returns to the game. Grant says that timing is everything when it comes to voting people out, and it may come down to the immunity challenge.

And then as if on cue…

Immunity Challenge Time: Log roll time, baby! The players will square off in a log roll competition. Last person standing wins immunity, a monster chocolate cake, and ice cold milk.

And…apparently there’s a mysterious package.

First Round: Grant beats Rob, Purple Ashley tops Andrea, Ralph bests Steve, and Phillip defeats Natalie.

Semifinal Round: Grant wins over Purple Ashley, Ralph beats Phillip, and Bobby Brown is disqualified when he does an illegal kick on Daniel LaRusso.

Final Round: Grant beats Ralph after a long contest.

Grant is allowed to choose a cake-eating buddy. To nobody’s surprise he picks Rob. He’s allowed one more cake compadre (yeah, I know, I hated that the second I typed it) and decides on Andrea.

Then, J-Pro tosses the mysterious package to Steve. Apparently it’s for the whole tribe and they’ll open it at Tribal Council.

After that, we learn that the Survivors only have two minutes to eat the cake. Wait, what? Worst reward ever.

Back at camp, everyone is trying to figure out what the twist is. They think the package feels like a deck of cards. I’m hoping it’s a new Medallion of Power.

Boston Rob breaks down his thoughts on the night’s vote. He thinks Steve won’t fight anymore as he’s tired and wants to go home, therefore they should get rid of Ralph. He’s also concerned that the twist may involve voting off two people. If that’s the case, he wants Ralph to go home first, then Andrea to go home second.

Steve tells Natalie and Ashley that he’ll be voting for Rob. Natalie and Ashley promptly relay this information to Rob. This, as you’d imagine, changes Rob’s thoughts on keeping Steve around.

That night at Tribal Council, Rob tells J-Pro that the Zapateran purge will continue.

Probsty points out that once the Zapatatians are gone, the Ometerps will have to turn on each other. Andrea isn’t concerned because she feels her alliance is rock solid.

Steve and Ralph both think that Ralph is going home next.

Grant and Phillip think Steve isn’t as feeble as he looks.

Steve reminds everyone of the time when Boston Rob stabbed Lex Van Den Berghe in the back after Rob asked him to save Amber. Why wasn’t that in the “Previously on ‘Survivor’” montage?!

Voting Time: Ralph votes for Rob and the rest of the votes are secret.

Note: When people were voting, Steve turned to Natalie and said, “Let’s do it.”

Probst tallies and returns, two votes for Rob, four votes for Ralph, and the twelfth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Ralph.

After Ralph is snuffed, J-Pro tells Steve to open the mysterious package of mystery. Sure enough, it’s a set of cards. Apparently there will be an immediate immunity challenge and then they’ll vote out another player.

Immunity Challenge One Mo’ Time: Probst hands out decks of cards to everyone. All of the cards have symbols on them. Probst will show the players a series of symbols. The players will have to show the symbols back to him. If you get one wrong, you’re out. Last person standing wins immunity.

Round One: Phillip and Natalie are out first. Andrea and Grant are out second. Steve and Ashley are out next…Rob wins immunity.

Voting Time…Again: Andrea votes for Steve, Steve votes for Grant, and the rest will wait.

J-Pro tallies yet again and returns, one vote for Grant, three votes for Steve, and the thirteenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Steve.

Verdict: Heh, I feel like the producers were pushing the fast forward button on the Pagonging of Zapatera. And honestly, you’re not going to hear me complaining about it. Hopefully things will pick up now that Andrea’s rock-solid alliance has to vote each other off.

In other news, there are a jillion people on Redemption Island now. It’s making figuring out the Power Rankings a nightmare. It’s like trying to predict a game of Calvinball. (I tweeted that joke a week ago and loved it enough to recycle it.)

Who’s Going to Win? Could the Redemption Islanders form a pack to vote for whoever returns to the game?

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Matt and Mike as our Redemption Island picks. So, we both earn two points. Sash had Steve eighth and Ralph seventh. I had Ralph eighth and Steve seventh. So, we both earn fifteen points. The current score is now Team Sash 129 to Team Gordon 116. Since I pitched a perfect game (…for once…) none of the readers got the best of me. Better luck next week.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes