Archive for November, 2010

Charlie Brown’s Disturbing Thanksgiving

November 24, 2010

As I mentioned in the “Great Pumpkin” post, we’re big huge “Peanuts” fans here in the Holmes household. That, “Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving,” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas” are must-watch viewing during the holidays.

But, much like with the “Great Pumpkin,” I noticed a few disturbing things during this year’s screening…

The Browns Are Hoarders

During the scene where Snoopy is sent to the backyard to set up the Thanksgiving feast, he cracks open the Brown family garage.

Look at the inside!

And on the same note; what kind of weird negligent parents were in that neighborhood anyway? Did we ever see Charlie wearing anything other than the same yellow zig-zag shirt? Did the Van Pelts bat an eyelash when Linus bailed on them to go to Charlie Brown’s grandmother’s house? Why didn’t Peppermint Patty, Marcy, or Franklin have their own familys’ dinners to attend?

Woodstock Eats Turkey

Yeah, technically Woodstock isn’t a turkey (nobody knows what kind of bird he is) but at the end of the day, he’s still a bird.

What kind of Thanksgiving message are they sending over the closing credits as Woodstock goes all cannibal on his holiday dinner? And while we’re on the subject, did it bother anyone else that Woodstock had teeth?

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Reasons It’s Good That Harry Potter Magic Doesn’t Exist

November 19, 2010

Scientists in the UK have been working with a material known as Metaflex that has unique light manipulating properties. It is hoped that this will eventually lead to the creation of a functional invisibility cloak like the one in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter universe.

I know what you’re thinking, J.K. Rowling’s universe is so magical. What wouldn’t I give to plop down in Hogsmeade with a tankard of butterbeer!

I disagree. The day I have to worry about invisible punks running around my business is the day I start randomly kicking and punching the air whenever I walk into a room.

So, I want these UK scientists to know that I’m keeping an eye on them. And while I’m at it, here are five other Harry Potter-inspired things they need to stay away from.

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Food Review: Dunkin’ Donuts Pancake Bites

November 14, 2010

I’ve said it before, we live in a truly amazing age for consumers. Toothpaste used to be just mint, Gatorade had maybe five flavors, and coffee was the only energy drink on the market. Now? They’re cramming pretzels into M&Ms and marketing chicken sandwich that use chicken breasts as bread.

So, when I heard Dunkin’ Donuts was going to start marketing Pancake Bites I had to jump on that. I love me some pancakes. Why hadn’t anyone though of this sooner? I soon realized why. Upon further investigation, I learned that there was a sausage center to these bad boys. I’d imagine scientists at the Dunkin’ labs stared at pancakes for decades wondering, “How can we jam meat into those things?”

(…grow up.)

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Extra Whatnot

November 10, 2010

Here are some little bits of Whatnot that don’t deserve their own posts…

If you’re a waitress who has to put up with my dad’s terrible jokes, I’ll make sure you get a good tip.

The guy who takes tickets on my train wore a Phillies tie a few weeks ago that had flashing lights on it. I thought it was a special occasion tie, but now all of his neckwear has flashing lights on it. I guess if you find your thing you should run with it.

Is there a more polarizing food in the world than tomatoes?

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Why I Want to Date Taylor Swift

November 3, 2010

Now, I know what you’re thinking right off the bat, “Gordon, Taylor is twenty, you’re forty seven, that’s totally gross.” I agree. That’s why this relationship would be 100% platonic. My motivations in this union are totally non-physical.

They’re way worse than that…

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