Archive for April, 2011

‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview: Julie Wolfe

April 28, 2011

To put “Boston” Rob Mariano’s post-merge performance into baseball terms; the guy is throwing a complete game shutout. Julie Wolfe? She was just another Zapateran infielder who wasn’t able to make solid contact.

I had a chance to speak with Julie the morning after her elimination to find out why she couldn’t crack Rob’s Ometepe alliance, why she chose not to align with Russell, and what it was like to witness Phillip’s fury first hand…

Gordon Holmes: I spoke with Russell a few weeks ago and he believed that the two of you could have gone all the way. What was your reasoning behind avoiding Russell’s alliance?
Julie Wolfe:
You know Gordon, I’ve always been a big fan of Russell. I actually like the way he plays the game. But, I just did not trust him and I didn’t want to be one of his victims. And I’d made, not just an alliance, but really good friends with Mike and Steve and I just didn’t want to break their trust. Never was there one second where I was going to go against my alliance.
Gordon: Oh, c’mon. What has Russell ever done to make it seem like he was untrustworthy?
Julie: (Laughs) Yeah, Russell gives you that handshake and then he has his fingers crossed behind his back. I don’t have any second thoughts or regrets about voting Russell off. I do have regrets about throwing that challenge.  The reward was so great, having a tarp and blanket would have made a big difference in our game and our attitude.

Gordon: It seems like the Zapaterans had no luck whatsoever making any inroads with Ometepe. What kinds of moves were you trying to make to crack that alliance?
Once Matt got sent back to Redemption we pretty much knew there wasn’t going to be much of an opportunity to break that alliance, they were so strong. And like I said, they seemed like a cult. There were a couple of times where I tried to align with the women, and they didn’t want anything to do with me. We knew they were going to start picking us off, but we thought I was going to be last.
Gordon: Why do you think you went before Steve and Ralph?
Julie: I think Rob got wind that I wanted a female alliance. Steve wanted to go home and I was trying everything I could not to go home. I think Rob saw that as a threat.

Gordon: You were there for the blow up between Phillip and Steve. What was your take on what went down there? What were you feeling during that uncomfortable situation?
It started off with the Ometepe tribe, I’m not going to say Murlonio tribe because we were always two separate tribes. They wanted to put their rice in with our rice. And we were like, “No, heck no, we’re not doing that.” And somehow it became a racial war. It was just an ugly, ugly atmosphere. It’s just a really uncomfortable situation, I just wanted to remove myself. It definitely was not a race issue. I was pretty disgusted with the whole thing.
Gordon: It was uncomfortable to watch. I felt horrible for the rest of the evening.
Julie: Yeah, it was very uncomfortable. I was like, “Please make it stop.”

Gordon: On the lighter side, what were you thinking when Phillip showed up to Redemption Island wearing his missing shorts?
(Laughs) When he showed up to Redemption Island…at that point I was so happy to be removed from all of that tension. So you know what? I was glad he found his shorts because nobody wants to see him in his disgusting pink panties. So whether your great great grandfather or if one of the guys told him, I was happy for him.
Gordon: I want you to know what I was going through. When you first hid them I thought it was hilarious. But on the other hand I thought, “Julie, how can you do this to us, the viewers? How can you sentence us to more of the pink panties?” Were you worried about my feelings when you did that?
Julie: (Laughs) I just wanted to get back at him. But you know what? He has a pair of jeans. He has the option to wear his jeans. He’s just out there for attention.

Gordon: OK, then I can’t be too mad at you. Let’s try some word association here. We’ll start off with Boston Rob.
Gordon: Andrea?
Julie: Untrustworthy.
Gordon: Grant?
Julie: Awesome.
Gordon: Steve?
Julie: He’s just a great guy.
Gordon: Ralph?
Julie: Does it have to be one word?
Gordon: I don’t want to get too strict. You say what you need to say.
Julie: (Laughs) Ralph is the hardest working man on this planet.
Gordon: Matt?
Julie: Loyal to his God, faithful.
Gordon: Phillip?
Julie: Crazy, lunatic.
Gordon: Mike?
Julie: Respect. I have nothing but respect for that man.
Gordon: Phillip’s pink panties?
Julie: Disgusting.
Gordon: And Natalie?
Julie: Immature.

Gordon: Last night you said you came on the show for the money. Did you find anything else while you were out there that can help you?
I didn’t go there to make friends or for the experience or to be on TV. But, I realized that I was there on “Survivor” for a reason. I have a reborn relationship with God. I found a great church, and that’s worth way more than a million dollars.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Recap: Boston Rob and the Package of Doom

April 27, 2011

Last Week: Phillip proved that while he may not be playing with a full deck, he certainly has a race card, Rob again earned the crown of puzzle king, and Julie showed her hand at Tribal Council and was sent packing.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing concern)

Julie – 50, Firefighter
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine

We start off with the Murlonios returning from Tribal Council. Steve takes Phillip aside and tries to clear the air. Thank goodness. Last week’s episode ruined my whole evening. Phillip accepts the apology, but let’s us know that he doesn’t trust Steve and he’ll be the next to go.

Later on, Rob says that as long as Phillip keeps up his crazy antics he’ll be safe. Thank you, Russell Hantz and NaOnka Mixon for adding that wrinkle to the game. When I get on this show (for the “Survivor: Press vs. Probst” season) I fully intend to walk around insulting people’s mothers.

The following morning Phillip has a conversation with the spirit of his great great grandfather. The topic of conversation? Not the meaning of life, but the location of Phillip’s hidden shorts.

OK, in 2112 when my great great grandson is on “Survivor: Press’ Ancestors vs. Probst’s Ancestors,” I hope I’m too busy eating Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream in heaven to care about anyone’s missing shorts.

There must be something to it though, cause Phillip manages to find the shorts. He also thinks that like Jack Nicholson said, Julie “Can’t stand the truth.”  Well, maybe Jack Nicholson said that at some point, but I’m pretty sure his famous line had something to do with handling the truth. I could be wrong though, I didn’t consult my great great grandfather.

Meanwhile over at Redemption Island, Matt’s there in the corner, Matt’s there in the spotlight losing his religion. Just kidding, he’s totally still got it, but he’s super bummed about staying in the game.

Redemption Island Challenge Time:
“Survivor” shuffle board, baby! The players will slide pucks across a board. If you get all three pucks into the end zone, you stay. If not? You go home.

Before the challenge gets underway, Matt lets Probst know that he’s ready to go if he doesn’t win the challenge.

First Shot: Mike hits the end zone, Matt and Julie miss.
Second Shot: Mike and Julie each get one in the end zone, Matt misses.

Third Shot: Matt hits his shot, Mike and Julie miss.

Fourth Shot: Matt hits another shot, Mike and Julie miss again.

Fifth Shot: Matt lands a third puck, he survives. Mike misses, Julie knocks one of her own pucks off.

Sixth Shot: Mike lands his third puck, he also survives.

Before Julie can go, Jeff asks her why she came on “Survivor.” She breaks down a bit as she explains that her house is in foreclosure and she needed the money. However, she’s happy that she’ll be having peanut butter soon.

Quick Aside:
That’s really what this season has been missing. After someone loses at Redemption Island, it doesn’t have the same weight as when they were voted out at Tribal Council in previous seasons. They’ve just become an instant afterthought. If they do Redemption Island again, they need more moments like this.

Back at camp, Andrea lets us know that she’s starting to feel bad about how she played Matt. Rob tries to put her at ease by telling her that everyone is responsible for voting Matt out.

Later, Grant and Rob decide that Andrea should go home soon. They worry that Andrea is too close with the Zapaterans and they don’t want her buddying up with Matt if he returns to the game. Grant says that timing is everything when it comes to voting people out, and it may come down to the immunity challenge.

And then as if on cue…

Immunity Challenge Time:
Log roll time, baby! The players will square off in a log roll competition. Last person standing wins immunity, a monster chocolate cake, and ice cold milk.

And…apparently there’s a mysterious package.

First Round: Grant beats Rob, Purple Ashley tops Andrea, Ralph bests Steve, and Phillip defeats Natalie.

Semifinal Round:
Grant wins over Purple Ashley, Ralph beats Phillip, and Bobby Brown is disqualified when he does an illegal kick on Daniel LaRusso.

Final Round: Grant beats Ralph after a long contest.

Grant is allowed to choose a cake-eating buddy. To nobody’s surprise he picks Rob. He’s allowed one more cake compadre (yeah, I know, I hated that the second I typed it) and decides on Andrea.

Then, J-Pro tosses the mysterious package to Steve. Apparently it’s for the whole tribe and they’ll open it at Tribal Council.

After that, we learn that the Survivors only have two minutes to eat the cake. Wait, what? Worst reward ever.

Back at camp, everyone is trying to figure out what the twist is. They think the package feels like a deck of cards. I’m hoping it’s a new Medallion of Power.

Boston Rob breaks down his thoughts on the night’s vote. He thinks Steve won’t fight anymore as he’s tired and wants to go home, therefore they should get rid of Ralph. He’s also concerned that the twist may involve voting off two people. If that’s the case, he wants Ralph to go home first, then Andrea to go home second.

Steve tells Natalie and Ashley that he’ll be voting for Rob. Natalie and Ashley promptly relay this information to Rob. This, as you’d imagine, changes Rob’s thoughts on keeping Steve around.

That night at Tribal Council, Rob tells J-Pro that the Zapateran purge will continue.

Probsty points out that once the Zapatatians are gone, the Ometerps will have to turn on each other. Andrea isn’t concerned because she feels her alliance is rock solid.

Steve and Ralph both think that Ralph is going home next.

Grant and Phillip think Steve isn’t as feeble as he looks.

Steve reminds everyone of the time when Boston Rob stabbed Lex Van Den Berghe in the back after Rob asked him to save Amber. Why wasn’t that in the “Previously on ‘Survivor’” montage?!

Voting Time: Ralph votes for Rob and the rest of the votes are secret.

Note: When people were voting, Steve turned to Natalie and said, “Let’s do it.”

Probst tallies and returns, two votes for Rob, four votes for Ralph, and the twelfth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Ralph.

After Ralph is snuffed, J-Pro tells Steve to open the mysterious package of mystery. Sure enough, it’s a set of cards. Apparently there will be an immediate immunity challenge and then they’ll vote out another player.

Immunity Challenge One Mo’ Time:
Probst hands out decks of cards to everyone. All of the cards have symbols on them. Probst will show the players a series of symbols. The players will have to show the symbols back to him. If you get one wrong, you’re out. Last person standing wins immunity.

Round One: Phillip and Natalie are out first. Andrea and Grant are out second. Steve and Ashley are out next…Rob wins immunity.

Voting Time…Again: Andrea votes for Steve, Steve votes for Grant, and the rest will wait.

J-Pro tallies yet again and returns, one vote for Grant, three votes for Steve, and the thirteenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Steve.

Verdict: Heh, I feel like the producers were pushing the fast forward button on the Pagonging of Zapatera. And honestly, you’re not going to hear me complaining about it. Hopefully things will pick up now that Andrea’s rock-solid alliance has to vote each other off.

In other news, there are a jillion people on Redemption Island now. It’s making figuring out the Power Rankings a nightmare. It’s like trying to predict a game of Calvinball. (I tweeted that joke a week ago and loved it enough to recycle it.)

Who’s Going to Win?
Could the Redemption Islanders form a pack to vote for whoever returns to the game?

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Matt and Mike as our Redemption Island picks. So, we both earn two points. Sash had Steve eighth and Ralph seventh. I had Ralph eighth and Steve seventh. So, we both earn fifteen points. The current score is now Team Sash 129 to Team Gordon 116. Since I pitched a perfect game (…for once…) none of the readers got the best of me. Better luck next week.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Power Rankings: Round 10

April 26, 2011

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Nicaragua” finalist Matthew “Sash” Lenahan and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” loudmouth Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Andrea is voted out this week, Sash will receive 6 points and Gordon will receive 2 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at “Redemption Island.” If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point for each player. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Redemption Island” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Sash had Matt as his Redemption Island pick, Gordon had David. So, Sash earns a point. Sash had Julie in spot seven, Gordon had her in spot five. The current score is now Team Sash 112 to Team Gordon 99.

Wanna Play? “Survivor” fans have been posting their own Power Rankings on Twitter. Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings, or post your picks in the comment section of this post. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.


Current Score: 112



Current Score: 99

bostonrob . natalie
#1 Boston Rob – Hook, line, and sinker…could this game be any easier for Boston Rob?  If he can get rid of Grant and Andrea while avoiding comeback kid Matt, he will have his redemption. . #1 Natalie – Natalie’s probably going to get a lot of grief for riding Rob’s coattails, but what else should she do? Make a bold move that could cost her a guaranteed Final Three in order to maybe sway some jury votes? Jury votes that are already annoyed with Boston Rob?
natalie . andrea
#2 Natalie – Riding coattails is what Natalie does best.  Could this be the easiest ascent to Final Tribal Council in “Survivor” history? . #2 Andrea – The previews make it seem like you’re in trouble. This leads me to believe you are safe. Also, Rob doesn’t want to target Ometepe until he has to. Otherwise, he’ll have a tough time with the jury.
phillip . ashley
#3 Phillip – Phillip is playing this game almost as hard as Boston Rob is.  We’ve seen him go from crazy to ridiculous…a perfect strategy for making a run for Final Tribal Council. . #3 Purple Ashley Something about Nicaragua must make it easy for blonds to blend into the background.
ashley . grant
#4 Ashley – If “Survivor” was a scored game, Ashley would have zero points.  How can someone coast so easily to the end?  Two words; Boston Rob. . #4 Grant – You’re still safe, Grant. But if you don’t make a move soon you’re going to join Lex and Big Tom on Boston Rob’s list of buddies he’s stabbed in the back.
grant . bostonrob
#5 Grant – Grant’s best shot at the end is blindsiding Boston Rob.  Hopefully he isn’t completely brainwashed yet as light at the end of the tunnel begins to appear. . #5 Boston Rob – If the Ometepians ever decide to make a move Rob is done for. But right now that seems like a very big “if.”
andrea . phillip
#6 Andrea – What’s going to happen when all the remaining Zapatera have been voted out?  Andrea needs to quickly decide on her end game; otherwise, she won’t have any hope of making a run for the million dollars. . #6 Phillip – I agree that Phillip is the perfect choice for Boston Rob to take to the end, but I think he might earn some goodwill from the jury if he sends him home. Will Rob go this route? I doubt it.
ralph . steve
#7 Ralph – Ralph definitely has a way with words (when we can understand them), but hasn’t been able to charm the Ometepe women in the slightest.  Unless he can go on an immunity run, he’s a goner. . #7 Steve – Why weren’t you voted out last week, Steve? Is it because you irritate Phillip? Could Boston Rob want everyone to hate Phillip as much as possible and that’s why you’re sticking around?
steve . ralph
#8 Steve – Steve’s wish to be sent home to Ponderosa was not granted by Boston Rob and now he must endure a slow, painful death with Phillip outlasting him…ouch! . #8 Ralph – Steve and Ralph are pretty interchangeable at this point. I’m going to go with Ralph here because he’s stronger physically.


. matt


Redemption Island Winners – Julie has no shot at Redemption despite Matt’s sanity cracking at the seams. . Redemption Island WinnersYeah, Matt seems to be having a rough time with his return trip to Redemptionville. But, has Julie done a thing this season to make me think she can top either of these guys in a challenge? Nope.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview: David Murphy

April 21, 2011

One of the great things about “Survivor” is that it appeals to so many different people. If you like exotic locations, there’s something for you. If you like to see people pushing themselves to their limits, there’s something for you. If you like starving people yelling at each other, there’s something for you.

Me? I like strategic gameplay.

Heading into “Survivor: Redemption Island”, I knew Boston Rob and Russell were capable of cranking out some interesting strategies. Outside of those two established vets, it was believed that our best bet for some creative gameplay was going to be defense attorney David Murphy.

I had a chance to talk to David the morning after he was eliminated from “Survivor” to find out why his strategic options were so limited, what he would have done if he were a member of the dominant Ometepe alliance, and his thoughts on last night’s unfortunate incident between Phillip and Steve.

Gordon Holmes: A lot has been said about the move to get rid of Russell early in the game. It seems like you could have gone either way. Could you walk me through your thought process with the decision to stick with the Zapatera Six?
David Murphy:
I was in a difficult position at that point and time. I had the opportunity to go either way. And while I thought one way would have been good for me personally, the other way was numerically the only choice to make. I couldn’t align with Russell because the numbers would have been four to five and it would have put me in a difficult position. It would have put me in an even worse position having already made some sort of deal with the other alliance to then join Russell’s alliance. It could have been a much different game, and it could have turned out much better for me had I aligned with Russell. But there was really no option at that time.
Gordon: There wasn’t an opportunity to pull somebody else along with you?
David: I think the core Zapatera alliance had such strong resentment for Russell at the get-go that there was really no guarantee that anyone would have actually done that. And had I attempted to do it it would have made my situation even worse.

Gordon: You had a bit of feud with Sarita. Was it really over her choosing Stephanie to do the puzzle over you, or was there something else?
The issue that Sarita and I had went back to an earlier point in the game. We had some disagreements about a variety of things. I’ll leave it at that.

Gordon: Was there ever an opportunity to work with Ometepe after the merge or were they completely shutting you out?
There was really no opportunity to work with them. I approached Rob the first moment and attempted to find out whether or not it was even possible. My attempt was not successful. I don’t think it was poorly received but there was no opportunity there. Rob had it set in his mind that he was going to run the show after the merge.

Gordon: Rob said part of his strategy was to have his alliance be mean to the Zapaterans. Did you see any of that?
Nobody was really mean to me. Well…if you discount Phillip’s antics. I got along with everybody really well, and socially speaking it was fine. I’d hang out with the girls or talk to Grant and Rob. That was no big deal. It was a gameplay move to put distance between us.
Gordon: You mentioned Phillip, we saw the two of you butt heads a couple of times. What is it like dealing with him on a day-to-day basis?
David: Phillip, from the very moment we were in the same place, rubbed me the wrong way. He wanted to tell everybody how everything should be done, and his way was the only way that things should be done. Not to necessarily say that he was wrong in his approach to doing things, but there’s more than one way to get things accomplished. Phillip was very controlling. It was quite aggravating from the very beginning. He’s definitely an interesting dude.
Gordon: That is an understatement.

Gordon: You were on Redemption Island with Matt for a little bit. It seemed like he was having a meltdown last night. What was your take on that situation?
When I got to Redemption Island, Matt and Mike were just kind of relaxing. I didn’t see any of Matt’s, if you want to call it that, meltdown. When I was there it was very cordial. We were all having fun and goofing around. I didn’t see any kind of breakdown on Matt’s part.

Gordon: Time to initiate you into the word association family. Let’s start this off with Ralph.
Wow…Ralph’s an interesting character. Hard worker.
Gordon: Rob?
David: Mastermind.
Gordon: Phillip?
David: Crazy. Especially after last night. And there were no racial undertones to that statement.
Gordon: Ashley?
David: Very nice.
Gordon: Andrea?
David: Playing the game more than anybody realizes.
Gordon: Natalie?
David: Conveniently innocent.
Gordon: Mike?
David: Physically dominant.
Gordon: And let’s finish this off with Sarita.
David: Annoying.

Gordon: I know you weren’t there for the incident between Steve and Phillip. But based on what you know about Steve, what were your feelings on what happened?
I felt very bad for Steve. Having lived through Phillip’s antics, the word “crazy” means exactly what everyone thinks it means. It is the word and that’s the context in which it was used. I had a little discussion with Phillip and I used a similar word. I meant nothing by it other than the fact that his behavior wasn’t rational. I don’t think Steve had the slightest intention to call Phillip anything other than crazy. I think it was really unfortunate to have that thrown on him on national television.

Gordon: Going into this season, we all had really high hopes that you were going to be a strategic player. However, from the sounds of it you didn’t have many avenues available to you. I’m interested to know what your strategy would have been if you had been a member of that Ometepe alliance.
From the outset my strategy would have been different in that if I were with Rob I would have tried to work closely with him. I would have said, “Hey, we can collectively manipulate these people to get to the end of this.” I don’t know how that would have worked out. Maybe he would have kept me around while I was useful and then tried to go against me, but I would have had the same opportunity to do that too. I think it would have been a better fit for me as far as the personnel. I would have had a better time dealing with the younger crowd. I think the strategy element of the game was definitely not something I was able to exploit just based on the way the core alliance of Zapatera formed and refused to do anything to try and advance the smaller alliances. After the merge there was really nothing left to do.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Recap: Most Depressing Episode Ever?

April 20, 2011

Last Week: Rob rejected Ralph’s rations, Phillip found a feather, and Mike the Marine met his match as he and David the defense attorney were dismissed.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing uncertainty)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine

Jeff Probst tweeted that tonight’s Tribal Council is going to be a doozy. And there’s a filter on Twitter that prevents people from lying, so consider me excited.

This week’s episode kicks off with Matt telling God that he doesn’t want to be in the game anymore. However, if God wants him to stay in the game he’ll keep fighting.

I’m thinking God has bigger things to deal with than who wins “Survivor: Redemption Island.”

The next morning Steve lets us know that he wasn’t ready to leave the game. He also seems to be annoyed with Phillip. Phillip gives us a prime example of how annoying he can be as he mutters to himself while he fashions a new feather headband.

Seriously, if that thing isn’t a full feather headdress by the end of the season, I’m going to be super disappointed.

Phillip follows up his arts and crafts project by telling us about his morning meditation. Apparently his ancestors have told him to trust Boston Rob. So, it’s probably fair to say that Lex Van Den Berghe isn’t one of Phillip’s ancestors.

There’s a bit of a food disparity around camp as the Zapaterans have more food left than the Ometepians. Yeah, but how much of that is crispy rice?

Phillip doesn’t approve of the tribes keeping their own rations, so he intends to liberate some of the Zapateran rice. This will end well, I’m sure.

Redemption Island invites go out and this time everybody is welcome. That’s awfully neighborly.

Redemption Island Challenge Time: Each player will have 150 wooden tiles. They’ll use them to build a house of cards. The first two players to reach eight feet will continue on. The loser will become the first member of the jury.

“Survivor: Gabon’s” Susie Smith, represent.
Not much to describe here except for some stackin’. Mike has about an inch to go and almost loses it. He eventually figures it out and wins. Matt then gets the best of David to advance. David is the first member of the jury.

Upon returning from Redemption Island the Ometepans learn that their rice has mold and maggots in it. They separate the good from the bad and ask Steve if they can combine the two tribes’ rice supplies. He doesn’t think that’s a great idea. As you would imagine, Phillip and his feather do not approve of this.

Phillip believes that only rewards are separate after the merge. Of course, that’s easy to say when the other dude has more rice than you. Steve wants to discuss the matter with Ralph. However, Phillip threatens that he’ll hide the Zapateran rice the second Steve leaves.


Steve calls Phillip a “lunatic.” Phillip agrees that he is a lunatic, but that whenever a man of his “color” gets in someone else’s face, they’re considered a lunatic.


Grant and Rob rightfully get a little freaked out that Phillip dropped a “race card.” That can’t be good for tribal harmony.

Steve tries to play it off, but Phillip informs him that he’s dealing with the “Chief of Counter Intelligence” and a “Wing Chun Kung Fu” expert. Phillip does have a point, a lot of what he does seems to be the counter of intelligence.

Things heat up again when Ralph returns. An enraged Phillip even drops a few “n words.” I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that must’ve been.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will spin around a disc in an attempt to release it from a post. Once it’s free, they’ll use it to complete a puzzle. The first six to finish will move on to a second ring to their puzzle wheel. First person to complete the second ring wins immunity.

Rob, Julie, Ralph, Andrea, Steve, and Grant were the first six to complete the initial puzzle. Phillip thought he had it, and even mimicked J-Pro’s announcing style, but nobody fell for it.

In the second round, Rob returned to his previous “Survivor” form and completed the puzzle first. Rob wins immunity.

Politicking around camp, not shockingly, involves the Zapaterans trying to get rid of Phillip.

Julie isn’t content just to vote him out as she reaches into the Russell Hantz playbook, swipes Phillip shorts and buries them. OK Julie, that’ll annoy Phillip, but think of what you’re doing to the viewers. The return of Phillip’s pink panties can’t be good for ratings.

That night at Tribal Council, Phillip lets Jeff know that it isn’t cute that somebody stole his shorts.

Steve brings up the race/rice war. Phillip thinks the term “crazy” is a substitute for the “n word.” Probst can’t see where Phillip is making that leap. Phillip says he can’t put it into words, but he knows it when he sees it.

Steve lets us know that there is no line of black or white in his heart.

Jeff does a masterful job of explaining that they are both welcome to their take on the events, and that in their hearts they are both right. Wow, well done, Mr. Probst.

Afterward, Jeff gets Julie to fess up to stealing Phillip’s shorts. Man, he’s two for two tonight.

Voting Time: Steve votes for Phillip (shocker), Julie votes for Phillip, Ralph votes for Phillip (technically it was “Phile”), Phillip voted for Julie, and the rest of the votes are secret.

J-Pro tallies and returns…three votes for Phillip, four votes for Julie, and the eleventh person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Julie.

Verdict: Probst was right, Tribal Council was crazy. However, it wasn’t entertaining-crazy.

I like my “Survivor” with everyone at each other’s throats, but that was just depressing. I felt bad for Phillip because he’s obviously been made to feel that way in the past. And I feel bad for Steve because I don’t think that was his intention at all.

Here’s hoping Steve and Phillip eventually find some common ground and are able to figure things out.

Who’s Going to Win? Natalie’s got the perfect path, right?

Power Rankings Update:
Sash had Matt as his Redemption Island pick, I had David. So, Sash earns a point. Sash had Julie in spot seven, I had her in spot five. The current score is now Team Sash 112 to Team Gordon 99.

Ooof…that may have put this game out of reach. Also, readers @truedorktimes, @SherriErwin, and Kyle got the best of me. Congrats!

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Watch Full Episodes:

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Power Rankings: Round 9

April 19, 2011

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Nicaragua” finalist Matthew “Sash” Lenahan and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” loudmouth Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Julie is voted out this week, Sash will receive 7 points and Gordon will receive 5 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at “Redemption Island.” If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Redemption Island” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Sash and Gordon both had Mike in spot eleven. Sash had David in spot six, Gordon had him in spot seven. So, Gordon gained a whole point. He must be so proud. The current score is now Team Sash 104, Team Gordon 94.

Wanna Play? Last week, several “Survivor” fans posted their own Power Rankings on Twitter. Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings, or post your picks in the comment section of this post. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.


Current Score: 104



Current Score: 94

natalie . natalie
#1 Natalie – Natalie’s loyalty to the men of her original tribe is keeping her safe and has cleared an easy path to the end. . #1 Natalie – Natalie’s allegiance to Rob was cemented when she spilled the beans about Ashley’s discussion with Ralph. It proves she’s more interested in getting far in this game than she is in having a spa buddy.
ashley . andrea
#2 Ashley – The buddy system may lead to Ashley’s demise now that Natalie gave Boston Rob the inside scoop on her exchange with Ralph. . #2 Andrea – There’s usually some awkward negotiating at the end of an endurance challenge. There was none last week. Ashley and Natalie happily let Andrea win. I think this and the Matt blindside prove that Andrea is solid with Rob’s Zombies.
bostonrob . grant
#3 Boston Rob – Rob has complete control over his groupies as they vote off the original Zapatera one-by-one, but once the original Ometepe tribe begins to cannibalize itself, he will have a very difficult time working his way to Final Tribal Council. . #3 Grant Someday Rob is going to stab Grant in the back. It won’t be this week, but it’s coming…and soon.
phillip . ashley
#4 Phillip – Phillip’s stories are “Survivor” gold for those of us not living with him on the island, but will he wear out his welcome among his tribemates? . #4 Ashley – Rob sent Matt packing over a handshake. You think he’s going to take kindly to your odd deal with Ralph? Once the Pagonging of Zapatera is over, you’re in trouble.
grant . julie
#5 Grant – Grant is the total package with his athleticism, puzzle making skills, and charm, but Final Tribal Council does not have enough room for both him and Boston Rob. . #5 Julie – Gamewise, I think there are bigger (Boston Rob-approved) fish to fry right now. But she’s not going to get close to the end.
andrea . bostonrob
#6 Andrea – Voting against Matt was the best move Andrea has made all season long.  She now needs to remain under the radar and hope that an opportunity presents itself to make a bold move. . #6 Boston Rob – The Ometepians have the kind of numbers advantage now where nobody should feel safe. They could lose one of their own and still get the best of the Zapaterans. Rob had better keep his idol close at all times.
julie . phillip
#7 Julie – By association with Steve and Ralph, Julie’s time is limited.  Her only move is to work her magic with the younger women. . #7 Phillip – Right now, Phillip is playing a game that makes him valuable to take to the end. However, if he’s driving the Brady Bunch crazy, Rob could decide to bounce him to win some favor with the future Zapateran jury members.
ralph . steve
#8 Ralph – Ralph is on Boston Rob’s hit list because of his failed attempt to pull information from Ashley, and now without an idol, he has a one-way ticket to Ponderosa. . #8 Steve – The previews make it look like we’re going to see a Phillip vs. Steve throwdown this week. Will this lead to the wild Tribal Council that Probst has promised?
steve . ralph
#9 Steve “Survivor” is a delicate game where building relationships is everything.  Steve’s lack of social awareness with Phillip and the rest of the tribe will lead to his dismissal. . #9 Ralph – Why Ralph instead of Steve? Because Steve’s ready to go and Ralph has proved that he’s prepared to scramble. No way Rob wants someone with the will to fight sticking around.
matt . david
Redemption Island Winner – Matt is the only one with experience on Redemption Island and is poised to dominate the only part of this game he excels in. . Redemption Island WinnerHmmm…why David? Because I need points and I think Sash will pick either Mike or Matt.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Recap: Birds of a Feather

April 13, 2011

Last Week: Matt came back from Redemption Island, ratted out Mike, and was voted out. Ralph used his immunity idol for no good reason, and the merge tribe was named after Amber’s stuffed animal. Basically everything is coming up Rob.

Tonight I expect him to trip over a bowling ball-sized diamond and fall into a puddle of chocolate ice cream.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
David – 31, Defense Attorney
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing loneliness)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student

Prediction: The previews say we’re getting two Tribal Councils tonight. I wonder if that means we’ll be getting some predictable votes…

We kick this shindig off with Matt making his not-so-triumphant return to Redemption Island. He thinks he’s the most naïve person in the history of “Survivor.” “Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites” Erik Reichenbach might disagree with that. But it’s an issue that’s certainly open for debate.

The following morning, David and Steve are giving Boston Rob props for his blindside. Julie isn’t as impressed with it. She thinks it was cold blooded.

Later, Ralph asks Ashley and Natalie if he is on the “Chaw Blaw.” Apparently that is Ralph for “Chopping Block.” He tells the girls that he’ll vote for them in the final three instead of Boston Rob. No concrete deal was offered there, so I’m not sure what he was getting at.

The Robfather then lets us in on his plan for the second half of the game. He wants to keep Ometepe separate from Zapatera. He wants Ometepe to hate Zapatera. Just like the Sharks and the Jets.

Whoa…I don’t like musical theater. I meant the Hatfields and the McCoys.

That was close…

Rob has also implemented a buddy system. He doesn’t want any Ometepians to be caught by themselves.  He also wants his Ometepe buddies to be arrogant toward Zapatera so they’ll vote for Rob at the end.

So smart. It’s like he’s played this game before or something.

After Rob takes us through his twelve-tiered plan, Natalie spills the beans about Ralph’s weird deal with Ashley. Apparently Ashley didn’t think it was important to share this information with Rob. As you’d imagine, Rob disagrees.

Immunity Challenge Time:
The players will dig in the sand for a club. Once they have the club they’ll break a tile. The first six players to break a tile will advance. Then, those six players will submerge their heads into a water tank. They’ll get a mouthful of water, then crawl under the tank, and spit it in a tube. First three people to fill their tube up to a line will move on to a puzzle. First person to complete their puzzle wins immunity.

Quick Aside: Am I the only one who thinks of “Double Dare” when they have to fill a tube up to a line?

Oh, and Phillip found a magic hawk feather. It appeared out of thin air while he was meditating. Yes, I’m serious. How can he possibly lose?

Not much to describe in the first part of the challenge except for some good old fashioned diggin’. Grant, Rob, Ralph, Mike, David, and Julie all advance.

Again, not much to describe in the second round except for some dunkin’ and a spittin’. Grant, Mike, and David advance.

The puzzle involved putting together a bunch of Tetris pieces. Grant completed it first to win immunity. So much for David’s puzzle prowess.

Hmm…if I ever start a band, I might call it Puzzle Prowess.

We meet up with the Murlonians back at camp. David and Mike decide to mess with the “Mariano Crime Syndicate” (as David puts it) and start digging underneath the flag. Rob and Phillip go idol crazy and start digging with them. It seems like Rob has some idol paranoia. That’s understandable after the trick Russell pulled on him last year. However, I think he’s fine, they usually only do one idol after the merge.

That night at Tribal Council, Phillip lets us know that his great great grandfather (a former Cherokee) told him that an Ometepe player will live long in “Survivor” lore.

I’ve got nothing.

David says he thinks Phillip is on the bottom of the Ometepe alliance. Phillip’s OK with that because he enjoys it on the bottom.

Get your mind out of the gutter, this is a family website.

Ralph thinks he may be the next person to get a hawk feather. Phillip disagrees because it takes courage and determination to get a magic feather.

David thinks Phillip sounds like a lunatic. Phillip thinks David sounds like a “Guy on the bottom of a cesspool.”

Casting has to be somewhere high-fiving each other right now.

Voting Time: Steve votes for Phillip and the rest of the votes are super secret.

J-Pro does his tallying thing then returns. Five votes for Phillip, five votes for Mike, and the ninth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Mike.

Back at camp, Rob tells Phillip that he isn’t at the bottom, he’s on the top. Rob feels like Phillip is a loyal soldier and is probably the perfect person to take to the end.

Apparently Phillip gets this too. He realizes that the more he antagonizes Zapatera the better he’ll look to Rob. Phillip knows he’ll have to make a move to prove he’s worth a million dollars, but now isn’t the time.

Sorry, I had to rewind that. Did Phillip say something that made total sense?

Immunity Challenge Time…Again: The players will hang from a bar. After twenty minutes they won’t be allowed to use their arms and will have to hang by their legs. Last person left hanging wins immunity.

Probsty gives the players the chance to forfeit their chance at immunity in exchange for a picnic lunch. Phillip and Steve decide to eat.

Really, Steve?

Again, not much to describe here except for hangin’. Rob has trouble getting comfortable and is the first person to fall.

When the twenty minutes are up, people start dropping quickly. Julie, Grant, and Ralph drop first.

After forty five minutes we lose David. The girls start negotiating…Natalie and Ashley agree to drop out and give Andrea immunity.

Back at camp, the Zapaterans notice that there are tons of fish in the fishing net. However, all of the fish are dead. Rob is worried that the fish are bad because rigor mortis has set in. Ralph isn’t concerned, he’s going to eat them anyway.

Grant doesn’t have a problem with it either. He goes over and tries the fish. Uh oh…is that the merge equivalent of shaking someone’s hand after a challenge?

Politicking comes down to Steve vs. David. Apparently Steve is ready to go home, but David is the more dangerous player.

That night at Tribal Council, Phillip teaches Jeff about Stealth R Us. Oh man…it must sound so cool in his head.

Also, Andrea, Ashley, and Natalie have been upgraded to “The Three Degrees.” What, they don’t deserve individual nicknames?

Ralph gives Phillip some grief about sitting out of the challenge.

Julie calls out Ometepe for using the buddy system. She also says they’re more of a cult than a tribe.

Voting Time…Again: David votes for Rob four times, (is that legal?) the rest aren’t shown.

Four votes for Rob, five votes for David and the tenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…David.

Note: Apparently David’s multi-Rob vote only counted once. I give the lawyer credit for looking for the loophole.

Verdict: I was right, two predictable votes. I was worried that things would slow down as the Zapaterans were eliminated, but Jeff Probst promised an “Unreal” Tribal Council for next week during his Twitter chat. Can’t wait.

Also, are we getting a three-way dance at Redemption Island next week?

Who’s Going to Win? Could Natalie sneak in there and win this Natalie White-style?

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Mike in spot eleven. Sash had David in spot six, I had him in spot seven. So, I gained a whole point!  Booyah. The current score is now Team Sash 104, Team Gordon 94. Reader Liam was the only person to get the best of me. Congrats to Liam.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Power Rankings: Round 8

April 12, 2011

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Nicaragua” finalist Matthew “Sash” Lenahan and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” loudmouth Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if David is voted out this week, Sash will receive 6 points and Gordon will receive 7 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Redemption Island” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Sash and Gordon both had Matt winning the Redemption Island challenge.  Sash had Matt in spot ten, Gordon had him in spot six. So, Sash jumps up to a big 87 to 76 lead.

Wanna Play? Last week, several “Survivor” fans posted their own Power Rankings on Twitter. Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings, or post your picks in the comment section of this post. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.

Before we get into this week’s action, let’s check in with our second-place competitor…

XFINITY TV: Gordon, you scratched and clawed your way up to a respectable 2-2 record by defeating such notables as Benjamin “Coach” Wade and the “Survivor” All-Stars. Is it disheartening to follow that up with this sad showing?
Gordon Holmes:
Not at all. I wanted Sash to be my competition this season because I knew he was capable of giving me a strong battle. I just didn’t know he’d be quite this strong.

XFINITY TV: I’ve noticed you’re now challenging readers to post their picks in the comments section and on Twitter. It seems like most of them are beating you too.
That’s not really a question.
XFINITY TV: Fair enough. Here’s a question, do you actually put thought into your picks or do you just throw darts at a list of names?
Holmes: You’re lucky I don’t have any darts right now.
XFINITY TV: That’s not really an answer.
Holmes: Fair enough.


Current Score: 87



Current Score: 76

natalie . ashley
#1 Natalie – Until recently Natalie has been known as Boston Rob’s girlfriend, but seeing how she won the last individual immunity, we may see her wearing the pants in that relationship sometime soon. . #1 Ashley – Sometimes people see someone like Ashley high in the rankings and they think I think she’s going to win. No, I don’t think she’ll win. But I think she’s probably the safest person in the game right now.
ashley . andrea
#2 Ashley – Ashley is in perfect position now having a great alliance and flying under the radar.  The only problem is she hasn’t made a bold move yet which is the only way to find respect at Final Tribal Council. . #2 Andrea – Last week’s blindside wouldn’t have happened if Boston Rob didn’t trust Andrea. It speaks volumes about her gameplay that she was able to get on his good side.
andrea . natalie
#3 Andrea – Andrea is a strong competitor and won’t leave this game without a fight.  Not having a close ally is her only weakness at the moment.  Who will cozy up with her now that Matt is back on Redemption Island? . #3  Natalie Good job in the challenge last week. Not sure it’s smart to have you pushing to win immunities when you don’t need them, but I appreciate the effort.
julie . julie
#4 Julie – Julie’s only hope is if she puts together an all-girl alliance despite having no interest in the girls.  If she can realize that the beach isn’t like the firehouse she works at back home, she could outlast the rest of the men. . #4 Julie – Vanilla Julie will be the last Zapateran to get the axe. Or the first. I don’t know, is she still on this show?
phillip . phillip
#5 Phillip – Phillip’s only hope is his own cluelessness.  Anything else will mean his ouster. . #5 Phillip – The game certainly has changed since we were all convinced Phillip was the next to go. Can he possibly win a jury? Is Rob hoping to go to the end with him?
david . grant
#6 David – David’s problem prior to the merge was his mouth.  If he can keep quiet, perhaps Boston Rob will focus on the physical threats instead. . #6 Grant – The trailer is making it look like Grant is going to start some business. I think it’s a fake-out. There’s no reason for him to rock the boat at this point.
bostonrob . david
#7 Boston Rob – Boston Rob is the godfather of the island, but what mobster ends his life happily ever after?  Look for him to get the axe instead. . #7 David – I’m torn on David right now. I’m betting he thinks now is the time to jump ship, but if Rob thinks he’s too crafty he may boot him sooner than he normally would have.
grant . bostonrob
#8 Grant – Grant is Boston Rob’s best buddy, but rarely do best friends stay loyal to the end in this game.  With two girls in their alliance who focus on spa days, Grant has to know his life is limited as long as Rob maintains control of the tribe. . #8 Boston Rob – Why is Boston Rob so low? Because he’s obviously the head of his alliance, and if the Bradys are able to swing some kind of deal they’re going to go after him first.
ralph . steve
#9 Ralph Ralph no longer has an idol and if Russell had the foresight to target Ralph, Boston Rob will too. . #9 Steve – Are you as bad at challenges as Krista and Stephanie made you out to be? If you are, you’d better play that up, otherwise you’re next after Mike.
steve . ralph
#10 Steve – Steve was targeted as a decoy in the last tribal council.  He may not be as lucky during his next visit there. . #10 Ralph – A lot of people are giving you grief for playing your idol last week, but it was probably your best bet. If David’s reaction is to be believed, you guys had no idea that Matt was on his way out.
mike . mike
#11 Mike – Cross Boston Rob and you’re out.  Mike showed Rob that he can hustle and manipulate just as well as anyone by almost swinging Andrea and Matt to the original Zapatera tribe.  Rob’s new focus will be sending Mike to Redemption Island ASAP. . #11 Mike – If the Zapateran dominoes are going to start falling one by one, I think you’re looking at the first domino. Immunity wins are Mike’s only hope now.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

Exclusive: ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin Wrestles on ‘Tough Enough’

April 8, 2011

The last time WWE Hall of Famer “Stone Cold” Steve Austin wrestled a professional match it was in front of over 50,000 screaming fans at Seattle’s Safeco Field.

That was over eight years ago.

Since then, the Texas Rattlesnake’s physicality in the ring has been limited to a few punches, a few kicks, and a lot of Stone Cold Stunners.

So, what inspired him to go toe-to-toe with “Tough Enough” trainee Luke Robinson in front of only a handful of people in the “Tough Enough” training facility? Find out in this exclusive clip…


“WWE Tough Enough” airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on USA.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Watch Full Episodes:

‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview: Sarita White

April 7, 2011

Sarita White’s “Survivor” claim to fame is pretty impressive. After three seasons, she was the first person to ever eliminate “Survivor” Hall of Famer Russell Hantz.

Granted, after that her tribe fell into a tailspin and eventually voted her out. But, we can’t all be winners.

I spoke with Sarita the morning after her short stay on Redemption Island to find out why she targeted Russell, why David turned on her, and if the Brady Bunch alliance was as harmonious as they seemed.

Gordon Holmes: I feel like we haven’t been given a good look at the insides of the Zapatera Six alliance. Care to crack it open and let us know what was going on?
Sarita White:
They definitely kept all of that under wraps. We were really all close. It was as seen. The only divisive things were Russell and the two chicks. Just from the beginning, it was oil and water. It was three people who wanted to be famous on a reality show and a group of people who were healthy in mind, body, and soul and were looking to have this great adventure.
Gordon: Who did you connect with?
Sarita: I really connected with Ralph. He was a really good partner in crime there. I was actually surprised; I thought he had voted for me. It was so sweet, that was my favorite part of last night was that he hadn’t voted for me. I thought that Mike hadn’t voted for me or maybe Julie because I was close to all of them. But yes, Ralph to the bitter end. Thank you. Thank you, friend.
Gordon: When you said Russell, Stephanie, and Krista were trying to be famous, what kinds of things were you talking about?
Sarita: Russell’s just given up his entire core life to be a reality star. I’ve never encountered anything like it. There was a very surreal play within a play going on. Because it’s just all he talked about. He was obsessed with it. He talked about respect for the game, but in the end I don’t think he had any respect for the game, it was just really self-serving.

Gordon: Was there more to your feud with David than who got to do the challenge puzzles?
David and I were actually really close. Nobody else wanted to get Russell off because of his valuable experience. I wanted to get Russell off because I knew that he was going to be gunning for me because I was not impressed with him at all. I wouldn’t even entertain a conversation with him and was as thick as thieves with everybody else. So, David was the only one who got what I was talking about. We bonded early on.  I liked David. He’s definitely annoying and he comes off horribly on TV and he is that obnoxious. But he’s so smart and funny. So, it was sad to have to sever that when I did. And I was straight with him. I said, “I don’t trust you anymore, you’re too volatile.” And there were things that he did that were super reactionary. And there were times where I was like this (expletive deleted) is crazy. But he’s wily and clever. And on a personal level I appreciate him. He does have good qualities and he can make me cry laughing.

Gordon:  Let’s do some word association. We’ll start with Ralph.
Dogged, loyal. He is like the Lion in “The Wizard of Oz.” He’s a force of nature and he’s relentlessly himself.
Gordon: Julie?
Sarita: Julie is another bad-ass woman warrior. She’s awesome.
Gordon: Russell?
Sarita: Russell is a young soul, ego-driven, and petty.
Gordon: Steve?
Sarita: Steve is simple and tries his best with what he has.
Gordon: Mike?
Sarita: He is a stunner. He’s a war veteran, so he’s an all-around lumberjack man with a brain.
Gordon: David?
Sarita: Typical defense attorney for literally the worst criminals that America has ever seen.
Gordon: Stephanie?
Sarita: Immature, social climber, and bitter. A mean girl.

Gordon: Did everything turn out OK with your teeth?
I never even told the show this; I ended up having an emergency root canal because it was so badly infected. And it still hurts. There’s something still wrong with it.
Gordon: Did you learn a lesson about sticking jungle sticks into your mouth?
Sarita: No, because it really wasn’t from me gouging, I’m sure that didn’t help. But what really didn’t help was me not brushing my teeth for so long.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes