Archive for August, 2011

Wrestling Posters

August 31, 2011

I snagged a Wacom for my birthday and I’ve been obsessed with it. As in, I sit down on the couch with it when I get home after work, then crawl up to bed seven hours later. So, here are some of my early efforts…

CM Punk Promo Poster Wrestlemania X-Seven Poster Wrestle War '89 Poster

Everyone Can Relax, I’ve Figured Lady Gaga Out

August 30, 2011

Lady Gaga

Celebrity Fight Club

August 23, 2011

INT. A LIVING ROOM – DAY

A GUY and a GIRL are seated on a couch together.

The guy uses the remote control to flip through the channels of an impressive television.

The girl isn’t interested in what’s on the television.  She’s reading something on her phone.

GUY
Who do you think would win in a

fight between Rizzoli and Isles?

The girl doesn’t answer.

GUY
OK, what if it was Rizzoli and Franklin

against Isles and Bash?

The girl still doesn’t answer.

GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin and Cagney squaring

off against Isles, Bash, and Lacey?

Still no answer from the girl.

GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin, Cagney, and Starsky

versus Isles, Bash, Lacey, and Hutch?

The girl finally acknowledges the guy. She turns to him and gives him an annoyed look.

GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin, Cagney, Starsky, and

Hart in a no-holds-barred fight with

Isles, Bash, Lacey, Hutch, and Hart!

GIRL (sighing)
I guess Isles, Bash, Lacey, Hutch, and Hart.

GUY
What?! Right off the bat, you’re telling

me Hart wouldn’t cream Hart?

GIRL
Wait, which Hart is which?

GUY
I always assumed the male Hart was

billed first.

GIRL
Sexist…

My New Favorite Thing…

August 19, 2011

OK, here’s where I kill my cool cred.

(But Gordon, how can you lose something you never had?)

Touche.

From time to time I’ll scour YouTube looking for sweet acapella songs.

(Really?)

Yes, really. I also talk to myself.

Back to my original point, from time to time I’ll scour YouTube looking for cool acapella songs. Today I found this sweet mash-up of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” and Bell Biv DeVoe’s “Poison” from a group called “Straight No Chaser.”

‘How Hard Could It Be?’ – Episode 1: The Otter Birthday Cake Debacle

August 18, 2011

When flipping channels, there are three things that must be watched until completion if they are stumbled upon…

  • ‘Rocky’ Movies
  • ‘Overboard’
  • ‘Cake Boss’

I don’t know what it is about Buddy and his lovable band of cake-a-teers (not a word) but I can’t get enough of ’em. Part of me is jealous of them. What an awesome job it must be to get to create edible works of art all day.

For some reason, I got it into my head that I could make my own super-cool cake. What gave me this idea? I don’t know. I’ve never baked anything, ever. But, I’ve watched the show a jillion times. Surely I’ve learned something through osmosis.

Note: My buddy at work is amused that I’m always trying stupid crap like this. He wants to create a pilot called “How Hard Could It Be?” where I watch a TV show and then try to duplicate the skill it’s taken them years to perfect. Sometimes it’ll turn out well like my clay “Community” snowman Senor Chang and sometimes it’ll turn out like the otter birthday cake…

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Adventures In Pregnancy – The Dorito Incident

August 15, 2011

My buddy at work seems to get a kick out of torturing her husband with odd, pregnant-lady food requests. I’m cool with this because I get a kick out of her stories. Here is but one of them…

Adventures in Pregnancy

Five Music Videos That Creeped Me Out When I Was a Kid

August 9, 2011

The other day I was on YouTube watching Billy Joel’s “Pressure” video…

Oh wait, why would I be doing that? Because I’ll be singing “Pressure” this Saturday at Wilmington, Delaware’s Baby Grand Theater as part of The Joe Trainer Trio presents the Music of Billy Joel. If you’re in the area you should totally check it out. Tickets can be purchased HERE.

Anywho, two things occurred to me…

A. Music videos are awesome. I don’t want to be the billionth person to jump on the MTV-was-better-when-they-showed-music-videos-instead-of-softcore-pornography bandwagon, but scoot over and make some room.

B. A lot of the early music videos were really dark. As in, trouble-sleeping-at-night-because-visions-of-the-Piano-Man-being-tortured-are-a-little-too-much-for-my-adolescent-brain-to-handle dark.

So, here are some music videos that gave me the willies when I was a young-un…

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A Super Brief Chat with WWE Divas Champion Kelly Kelly

August 5, 2011

Facebook and Twitter followers probably know that I’ve been cranking out a ton of wrestling content this week with interviews with Hulk Hogan, Rob Van Dam, Kane, and Edge. However, I recently did a fifth interview that slipped through the cracks.

You see, I was only scheduled to interview Kane at SDCC’s Mattel booth. However, once I finished up, it turns out that some outlet had stood up WWE’s Divas Champion Kelly Kelly. (Who on Earth would do that? Ever?)

They asked if I wanted to interview her, and I (shockingly) said “Yes.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any questions prepared and we were cut off when she had to run to another event. Generally my style is to start with fun banter, then move onto deeper topics, so all I was left with was fun banter. Not really something to base an XFINITYTV interview around.

But, some fans may find in entertaining, so here it is…

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Scenes from a Boston Market

August 1, 2011

INT. A BOSTON MARKET RESTAURANT – NIGHT

A GUY and a GIRL are patiently waiting for their order to be fulfilled. They are both standing at the register.

BOSTON MARKET WORKERS go about their business preparing the order.

The guy looks near the register and sees a large package of brownies. The package is labeled “Family Brownies.”

GUY
That’s sad.

GIRL
Why’s that?

GUY
Apparently all of those brownies are related.

GIRL
No, it’s good. They’ll all be together.

GUY
Yeah, but then they’ll have to see their family members be devoured.

GIRL
Touche.

END SCENE


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