Archive for March, 2012

How Do You Solve a Problem Like John Cena?

March 30, 2012

Hulk Hogan headlined his first Wrestlemania in 1985 when he was 32 years old. He went on to perform at the main event level until Wrestlemania 19 in 2003.

John Cena is 34.

Maybe the Hulkster is an extreme case, but it’s absolutely conceivable that the former Doctor of Thuganomics could be hustling, proving loyalty, and providing respect for another seventeen years. I’m sure Vince McMahon is cool with this as Cena has proven to be a reliable merchandise mover and squeaky clean front man for the company, but you have to wonder what’s next for him creatively.


‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview – Jonas Otsuji

March 29, 2012
Jonas Otsuji (CBS)

Jonas Otsuji (CBS)

Jonas Otsuji was born to fly under the “Survivor” radar. He’s attractive but not super handsome. He’s useful around camp but not an obnoxious workhorse. He’s liked by many but the leader of none.

Unfortunately for Jonas, this strategy that has been so successful in the past may have ultimately cost him the game.

I spoke with Jonas the morning after his elimination to find out why he’d never play under the radar again, what it was like under Colton’s regime, and what was really lurking on the bottom of Tarzan’s unmentionables…

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Gordon Holmes: Let’s get this business out of the way immediately; I’m sorry for jinxing you with my pre-season pick.
Jonas Otsuji: (Laughs) No problem, my friend.

Holmes: Did you know your time was up heading into Tribal last night?
Otsuji: Oh yeah. I totally knew. The second we merged I knew something was weird. My original alliance, Troy and Jay, they were acting very fishy.
Holmes: Were there any other moves you could have made at that point?
Otsuji: No, because Jay and Troy were down numbers, they had jumped over to the girls. And I had zero relationship with Chelsea, Kat, and Kim. I did actually try to convince Kim and Chelsea, because I knew Kim was calling the shots, it was very obvious. So, I approached Kim and said, “Listen, I know you guys are trying to figure out if the guys are really with you.” So I proposed they vote out Mike. That would have bought me some time to come up with another plan. Basically, I was playing Kim’s game and that’s why she sniffed me out. We were both flying under the radar. But even flying under the radar is actually being on somebody’s radar if they’re playing the same game as you.

Holmes: What’d you do differently if you could hit the reset button?
Otsuji: If I could do it all over again I’d probably go all balls to the wall. I’d be a lot more aggressive.
Holmes: Just be as offensive and loud as possible.
Otsuji: No. (Laughs) Definitely not that, but I would have orchestrated a lot more big moves, blindsides, I wouldn’t have been Colton’s bitch.
Holmes: (Laughs) Nice.

Holmes: You had a bizarre blow-up with Tarzan last night. It seemed like he would go from zero to ten at the drop of the hat.
Otsuji: It’s just Tarzan. Tarzan is just a very socially abrasive person. Like, he’ll just throw his dirty undies right on top of yours and not have a second thought about it. The whole time the guy was like that. He’s just very insensitive about other people’s feelings. He does whatever he pleases. The whole time he was just constant contention.
Holmes: So you agree with Chelsea when it comes to the underwear-cleaning etiquette.
Otsuji: (Laughs) Yeah, absolutely. I don’t care how long that thing was boiled, I would not put my undies in the same pot as his.

Holmes: You were part of the racially charged Colton vs. Bill Tribal Council. As someone who was aligned with Colton at that point, what kind of thoughts were going through your head?
Otsuji: Colton was supposed to be the first person voted out. We had all agreed he was the first to go. And then as soon as he pulled out that idol I started cracking up, because I knew I had to align with him and pretend like I was his best friend. So yeah, it was horrible. I was closest with Bill. I considered him to be one of my closest, not just alliances, but true friends out there. So, when I had to just sit there and let it happen, just because strategically it made sense, it was brutal. I felt sick to my stomach.
Holmes: Were you trying to set up an end game where you were sitting with Colton at the final Tribal Council?
Otsuji: No. You would think that he’d be the Phillip Sheppard or the Russell Hantz, but he was so bad. First of all, he was such a wild card that it would have been way to risky to think of keeping him along. You had no idea who he was with the whole time because he was in so good with both sides. And, he was just an incredible liar. It would’ve been way too risky, there’s no way I would have taken him to the end.
Holmes: I think no matter what happens the rest of this season, it’s possible that “One World” will be remembered as the season where one tribe gave up immunity. You were a part of the decision. Walk me through it.
Otsuji: In hindsight it was just dumb. If I could do it over again, I would have tried to orchestrate a big blindside and take out Colton. It was just totally dumb. It was one of those situations where everyone starts saying, “Yes, I’ll go along with it.” And then you don’t want to be the odd man out and put a target on your back. And Colton was so volatile in the sense that he didn’t vote based on strategy. For him it was pure emotion. Everyone was so afraid to make him mad because in an instant he could turn on you and make you a target. I knew it was dumb. I still think it’s dumb.

Holmes: Let’s do some word associatin’. How about we start with Tarzan.
Otsuji: Abrasive.
Holmes: Kim?
Otsuji: Strategic.
Holmes: Kat?
Otsuji: (Laughs) Oh man…ditzy.
Holmes: Chelsea?
Otsuji: Calm.
Holmes: Michael?
Otsuji: Overconfident.
Holmes: Jay?
Otsuji: Jay is deceitfully nice.
Holmes: Sabrina?
Otsuji: Proactive.
Holmes: Troyzan?
Otsuji: Leader.
Holmes: Let’s wrap this up with Alicia.
Otsuji: (Laughs) Gangster.

Holmes: Well played. Now, “Twilight” has Team Jabob vs. Team Edward and this Sunday the WWE has Team Bring It vs. Cenation, it seems like “Survivor” fans are dividing into camps as well. The question is; are you on Team Dirt or Team Poop?
Otsuji: (Laughs) I’m going to go with the poop.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – Tarzan On the Skids?

March 28, 2012

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

So, let’s get this straight, I take two weeks off and…

•    The tribes were reshuffled so that one group was “The A-Team” and the other was “Colton in Charge.”
•    Kim discovered an immunity idol that she was allowed to keep for her very own self.
•    Alicia and Colton created a clique that made the “Mean Girls” look like a bunch of Care Bears. (You go, Glen Coco.)
•    Monica was sent packing despite being the only person on her tribe capable of competing in a challenge.
•    Leif continued to sleep in a box.
•    The greatest 3rd-place game in the history of “Survivor” screeched to a halt as Colton was removed for medical reasons. His immunity idol was also evacuated despite having a perfectly functioning appendix.
•    The tribes merged and were given sleek, sexy black buffs.
•    Kat’s fear of appendicitis led her to investigate the possibility of voting the medical condition off of the island.

Got it. OK, I’m rested and ready…let’s do this.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the tribe currently stands…

The Name Pending Tribe (wearing black)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Michael – 30, Banker
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Quick Note: If you were wondering how J-Pro feels about Colton returning to play “Survivor” in a future season, check out my exclusive interview.

The fun kicks off with the remaining twelve returning to camp after Tribal Council. During the merge feast, Alicia lets us know that she is not pleased that Christina is still in the game while Colton is gone. The lesson here is that it might not be the best strategy to tell potential jury members to jump in the fire.

The next morning, Troyzan comes up with a new name for the tribe, Tikiano. OK, I know I’ve probably said this about 100 times, but why doesn’t someone ever give the tribe a bad-a$$ name like The Miracle Doom Force or The Death Punchers? Put me on the show and that would be my first post-merge order of business.

Later, Jonas uses his sushi chef skills to turn coconut and sea water into a faux potato chip. Color me impressed. Wait’ll he gets to the first Quick-Fire Challenge.

The breakfast festivities continue with poor Tarzan trying to get his tiny-undie-wearing mitts on the coffee he didn’t help win. Jay thinks this is poor form.

Tarzan takes this coffee slight very seriously. He’s now worried that the boys alliance is long gone. He approaches Michael with the idea of the six guys and Alicia as an alliance. Mike agrees to it, but lets us know that he doesn’t trust or like Tarzan.

Reward Challenge: The players will be divided into two teams of six. Four members from each team will take turns digging their way under a wall, crawling under some boards, and then digging up puzzle pieces. Once they have all of the puzzle pieces, the two remaining players will put together a turtle-shaped puzzle. First team to complete their puzzle wins reward.

Wanna know what they’re playing for?

(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

The winning team will enjoy an afternoon of pizza and beer. They’ll also receive a secret note. Ooo…maybe they’ll pass it to them during study hall.

The teams will be Alicia, Christina, Jay, Sabrina, Troyzan, and Chelsea (wearing orange) against Leif, Kat, Kim, Michael, Jonas, and Tarzan (wearing teal).

The challenge starts off and poor Leif finds himself stuck under the wall. This helps the other team jump out to a lead. After Leif finally returns, Kim gets stuck too. Dig a bigger hole, kids.

The orange team has opened up a big lead, but Kat manages to fly through the obstacles and win back some time. Maybe they told her she was being chased by appendicitis.

Finally, it’s down to Michael and Sabrina. Sabrina seems to be committing the biggest digging mistake you can make as she accidentally pushes more sand into her hole. Michael manages to pick up a ton of ground here.

The puzzle building is almost dead even as Jonas and Tarzan square off against Troyzan and Christina. However, Troytina manages to pull it off to win reward. Jonas pretends to be OK with the loss, but he’s clearly annoyed with Tarzan.

And this week’s “Survivor” Original is none other than “Survivor” Hall of Famer Parvati Shallow. And I was just looking at trophy samples just the other day…

During the pizza feast, Alicia cracks open the special love note. Apparently there’s another idol back at camp. This development concerns Chelsea because she’s worried someone from Manono will find it and mess up her plans.

Back at camp, Jonas is growing frustrated with Tarzan. He confronts Tarzan about approaching Michael with their plans. The conversation quickly gets ugly with Tarzan calling Jonas a…uh…unflattering orifice.

After that, Tarzan offers to, “Drop out of the tribe.” Um…let’s assume he meant “alliance.”

The next morning, Troyzan gets up early and goes on an idol hunt. And sure enough, he finds it. I don’t know if I’m going to continue to use the term “Hantzian” to describe this phenomenon, cause everybody’s doing it these days.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will be perched on a small log while balancing a ball on a disc. As time goes on, they’ll add more balls to their disc. Last person standing with all of their balls wins immunity.

The challenge starts up and Tarzan is almost immediately out. Everybody else manages to survive the first round.

Fun Fact: Probst’s commentary any time there are balls in play = pure gold.

Round two claims Christina, Michael, Chelsea, and Kim.

Round three will continue until everyone is eliminated. Alicia is out quickly. She’s joined by Jay, Jonas, and Sabrina.

Your final three are Troyzan, Kat, and Leif. Leif’s the first to go out and after a stressful stand-off is followed by Kat. Troyzan wins immunity.

Quick Aside: The hand-painted tribe flag looks amazing! Who’s the Tikiano artist?

Politicking around camp centers around the second Salani tribe gunning for Jonas. Chelsea is conflicted because while Jonas is the most dangerous member of the second Manono tribe, he’s very valuable around camp.

Later, Troyzan approaches Jonas and lets him in on the plot to get rid of him. Jonas immediately goes into scramble mode and apologizes to Tarzan. Tarzan accepts it and is brought to tears.


The remnants of the guys alliance eventually decides to vote for Kat.

Then…um…oh boy…

So, Chelsea is doing her laundry, when Tarzan throws his…possibly…poop…stained…drawers in with her stuff. As you’d imagine, this does not go over very well with her. This major breach of etiquette is enough to get Chelsea to try to get her alliance to vote for Tarzan instead.

That night at Tribal Council, Jonas thinks it’s too early to be voting out people because they could do well in front of the jury. He wants Michael to go home because he’s an immunity threat.

Michael disagrees.

Jonas doesn’t care and announces that he’s voting for Michael.

Tarzan thinks Jonas should relax because he isn’t going home tonight. Jonas doesn’t think they have the numbers to make proclamations like that.

Tarzan then changes his mind, saying they should send Jonas home.

Quick Aside: Between Colton, Tarzan, and Alicia, this has been some of the worst strategic gameplay I have ever seen.

Chelsea and Sabrina think they’ve had more issues with Tarzan than they have had with Jonas.

Voting Time: Jonas votes for Mike, Tarzan votes for Jonas, and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst does some tallying and returns. One vote for Jonas, two votes for Michael, five votes for Jonas, and the seventh person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Jonas.

On the way out, Jonas approaches Tarzan and says, “No hard feelings.” Tarzan replies with a classy, “Hard feelings to you.” Way to secure jury votes, Tarzan.

Verdict: Jonas, I am so sorry. I gave you my pre-season pick curse. I’d hate to think what would happen if you, Jim Rice, Marty Piombo, Michelle Chase, and others ever tried to get revenge on me.

That aside, this season isn’t particularly fun. There’s this weird air of unfinished Colton business hanging over it, and there really isn’t anyone to root for. Here’s hoping there’s still time for it to pick up.

Who’s Going to Win: Buh…I guess I’ll curse Chelsea next.

Power Rankings Update: Speaking of Jim Rice, he had Jonas in spot one. Ouch. Dawn Meehan had him in spot ten. This extends Dawn’s Salani lead to a dominating 56 to 35. I might take a few more weeks off…

Will ‘Survivor’ Villain Colton Be Invited Back? Host Jeff Probst Answers…

March 28, 2012

Jeff Probst and Colton Cumbie (CBS)

What a difference an episode makes.

Over the course of one hour, “Survivor: One World” lost its reviled bully to a medical concern, cemented a new power alliance with an idol, and brought both tribes together with a last-minute merge.

So, with all of that going on, it seemed like the perfect time to check in with “Survivor’s” 74-time Emmy-award-winning host* Jeff Probst.

*Not mathematically accurate.

Watch Full Episodes of ‘Survivor: One World’

Gordon Holmes: The show just lost one of the most hated villains of all time last Wednesday when Colton Cumbie was removed from the game. Did you realize at the time how big of a bad guy was being carted off?
Jeff Probst: I had no idea how ugly Colton was being at camp. I saw one display at Tribal Council when he talked about “I have a black friend, a housekeeper, who I pay.” I didn’t realize how aggressive he was in treating people and how poorly he treated people. Colton is one of the few people I can recall where the audience just has a true dislike for. He’s different from Russell (Hantz) who you just might love to hate.
Holmes: Think we’ll see Colton again?
Probst: Russell you bring back. Colton, I don’t think you do. I can’t imagine celebrating Colton and bringing him back. But, I could be wrong on that.
Holmes: Some people love Russell, some people hate Russell. This Colton hatred seems pretty universal.
Probst: On one hand, Colton is honest. This is where he comes from, this is his truth. But, that doesn’t excuse it. And I think it would be hard to root for him to win the game ever. And I had no idea when he was evacuated how much people despised him. So, it’s always a little weird for me if I had known. Would I have had an attitude with him?

Holmes: I’m going to give you a quick compliment. Don’t be alarmed. But, I think one of your strong points is when it comes to racially charged Tribal Councils like with Bill and Colton this season or Phillip (Sheppard) and Steve (Wright) in “Redemption Island” you don’t take an attitude with people. Rather than breaking it down from your point of view and being, “You’re right” and “You’re wrong,” you seem to embrace the old writers’ adage that, “No villain ever thinks he’s wrong.”
Probst: Thanks.
Holmes: We’re twenty four seasons into this social experiment; do those put-it-all-out-there moments still excite you?
Probst: Any time somebody brings up differences in how they live or how someone looks or their race or their sexuality and they’re willing to talk about it, I get very excited. That’s the fabric of our society. That is what it’s all about, all of our differences. You think you’re right and I think I’m right and the truth could be somewhere in the middle. I don’t know, sometimes the truth is over on the left. So, I like having those discussions. It never surprises me.

Holmes: I’m at risk of having my “Survivor” press badge taken away for two reasons. First, I make Dream Teamers cry.

Note: Dream Teamers are the crack crew of talented, athletic youngsters who practice the show’s immunity and reward challenges.

Probst: Why?
Holmes: Because I beat them in challenges too often.
Probst: (Laughs)
Holmes: And second, I have no idea what’s going on with these twists. You bring out Redemption Island and my first instinct is, “There’s no way anyone can come back into the game and win.” Then it almost happens twice. A challenge goes a different way and Ozzy Lusth is a champion.
Probst: Yup.
Holmes: Matt Elrod and Andrea Boehlke could’ve been serious spoilers too. Then, you announce One World and my first instinct is, “This is great. We’re gonna have all kinds of inter-tribe mingling. I can’t wait.” Then, the exact opposite thing happens. One minute you have Michael stealing a pick axe and the next these two tribes won’t even share fire.
Probst: It’s crazy!

Holmes: What were you anticipating when the One World idea came across your desk?
Probst: We’ve talked about two tribes living on one beach for ten years. We were never sure we could pull it off. There were issues about identifying the tribes. Another concern is that it would be one big love fest and they’d make one big fire, one big shelter and we’d have this mess of twenty people living together. Fortunately, Mike decided to start stealing stuff off the bat and it was game on.
Holmes: So for the sake of one pick axe, the whole season became cutthroat central.
Probst: I never understand that. Stealing? When you need votes to win the game? How does that work long term?
Holmes: If I’m a Manono guy and I witness that? I’d put that in my back pocket and happily rat Michael out when I needed to.
Probst: You need to be on this show.
Holmes: Sign me up. The only problem there is I’m not good looking enough to be a good-looking guy and I’m not quite nerdy enough to be a nerdy guy. You need to keep the show going until I’m old enough to be the cranky geezer.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: One World’ Power Rankings – Dawn Meehan vs. Jim Rice

March 27, 2012
Jim Rice vs. Dawn Meehan (CBS)

Jim Rice vs. Dawn Meehan (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Kicking off the second round for the gentlemen will be Jim Rice. While stepping up to the plate for the ladies will be Dawn Meehan.

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate Power Rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Dawn’s team will receive 6 points and Jim’s will receive 8 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Two Weeks Ago: Christine Shields Markoski and John Cochran both pitched perfect games as they correctly guessed that Bill would be the next person to be eliminated. The current score is now Team Salani 46, Team Manono 34.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than the male team does you’ll get a special shout out in next week’s Power Rankings.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 46

Got any advice for Dawn? Drop her a line on Twitter.

Current Score: 34

Got any advice for Jim? Drop him a line on Twitter.

1. Kim’s got the idol. She’s on a solid alliance (Nu-Salani = Kim, Chelsea, Sab, Kat, Troy and Jay). And, she’s physically/mentally prepared for the individual immunity challenges.  Kim’s safe this week. 1. I love seeing you at the head of your tribe, but watch out. The head of the snake is what a lot of people aim for.  The first post-merge vote dramatically impacts the rest of the game.  I’m not sure which way it will go, but I have a feeling you’ll be on the right side of alliances.
2. Chelsea-The-Chicken-Handler (AKA Chelsea-The-Fish-Spearer) is playing one great game. She’s strong, but not too strong. She’s in the majority, but not calling the shots (leaving a target on her back). I think Chelsea has the potential to go Final 3, so long as she remains aligned with the Nu-Salani. 2. You really haven’t pissed anyone off, and haven’t made the mistake of getting close to one particular guy.  I think you are very safe this week.
3. I’m wondering just how many nights Sabrina went to bed thinking, “Why, oh why, did I give the idol to Colton?” Talk about a strange turn of events. At the start of the game, I felt like Sabrina had the most influence on Salani (pre-swap), but now that Kim has the idol, I’m not sure Sabrina has AS much control over her alliance. However, she’s definitely still tight with Kim and Chelsea, and I think she’s got the ability to do well in individual immunity challenges, so I think Sabrina’s sitting pretty (and strong) at the merge. 3. I think you and Jonas are in the best positions right now to win the game, but if a guy alliance takes hold, and they try to pick off the women, you would go before your right hand Chelsea. Take that as a compliment!
4. I love Kat. Given that she’s in the Nu Salani majority (Kim, Chelsea, Sabrina, Jay, Troy), I think she and her appendix are safe this week. 4. I was so glad to see you get off the chopping black, and I think you learned some valuable ‘Survivor’ lessons in the process.  I think you’re safe for a few rounds until the others realize that if they let you make it to the final 3, you’ll win unanimously.  It’s the same reason there was no way my competitor this weekend, the awesome Dawn, would have ever made it to the final three.  Should/would have taken the $1M in a landslide.
5. I bet Jay’s happy he abandoned his original PYT alliance with Matt, Michael, and Bill—because he’s in a great place now that the tribes have merged. Jay’s got options! He’s tight with Chelsea, Kim, Troy, and Sabrina (Nu-Salani) AND on good terms with Michael, Jonas, Tarzan, and Leif (the original All-Boy-Manono). Jay’s not going anywhere this week. 5. The merge came at a great time for you.  I’m hoping to see you do something other than just let the game come to you, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m also predicting a Jay-Kat showmance. Jaykat..ugh…
6. I think Troy is emerging as a potential front-runner in this game. Did you see when Nu-Salani won that Reward Challenge last week—how Troy called his tribe mates up to the top crate to celebrate the victory? Hello FORESHADOWING. Not only is Troy tight with Nu-Salani, he’s also on good terms with the original All-Boy-Manono tribe.  If I were playing this game, I’d be thinking about voting Troy out. The sooner, the better. He’s likeable and strong—a powerful combination for the back-half of this game. 6. For the sake of humanity, please do not procreate with Jay. Here you go, Kat…
7. Watching last week’s episode was painful for me: Christina was on the receiving end of a whole lotta garbage. But she proved that she can OUTLAST pretty much anything. And for that alone, I hope Christina figures out a way to align with Kim, Chelsea, Sabrina, Kat, Jay, and Troy. That’s the kind of karma I like. But even if she doesn’t, I think Christina’s safe this week. There are bigger fish to fry—I mean, boot—at the merge. 7. I still like you, but you gotta watch the mouth if you want to make it deeper in the game.
8. Even though Leif is not part of the Nu-Salani alliance, I think he’s safe this week. Why? Because I don’t think the other players see him as a threat to go on an immunity run OR break up alliances. 8. I think you’re in a great spot right now.
9. Alicia’s not going home this week. But, I think her cranky exchanges with Christina and allegiance to Colton will eventually bite her in the booty. 9. You’ve definitely improved your lot in the game by flying under the radar the past few weeks, but if someone wants to gun for you, all they have to do is remind people that you stole from the girls’ pile on day one.
10. Jonas was my pick to win ‘Survivor’ this season—but after that rough tribe swap and Colton’s evacuation from the game, I think Jonas may be one of the first few jury members. (Which will be a major bummer, right? Tell me you weren’t looking forward to seeing him prepare some ‘Survivor’ sushi?) 10. You are one weird dude.  I don’t think anyone will target you right away, but I don’t think you’ll be around much longer.
11. I heart Tarzan. He’s such a character. And if I were playing with him, I’d consider keeping him for the long haul—because he’d be a great person to go up against at the Final Tribal Council (imagine the neologisms!). But the All-Boy-Manono tribe isn’t aligned. And the new Manono tribe isn’t aligned. So, unless this week’s Immunity Challenge is last week’s Reward Challenge, Tarzan’s in a rough spot. 11. You made it to the merge, and now it is time for you to take out revenge on Alicia for all the vile things she has said.  BUT, if you don’t choose the right alliance, you’ll be the first to go.
12. O Michael, Michael! Wherefore art thou, Michael? No, really. Where is Michael? I mean, we’re talking about a guy who stole a pickaxe from the women and dunked Leif under water in a challenge. How can he NOT be running this game—or at the very least, be in a majority alliance at the merge? Unless Michael goes on an immunity run, he’s going home. He’s the classic “potential threat” that just has to go. 12. I think Christina will flip to whatever alliance is willing to vote you out.  Personally, I’m going to love seeing you go.  You’re only real hope in this game is that someone realizes that they should take you to the end because there is no way in hell you could get enough votes to win.

‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview – Bill Posley

March 8, 2012

Bill Posley (CBS)

I’m a big believer that all is fair and love and “Survivor.” Want to stab your best buddy in the back? I say, “Stab away.” Everybody knows what they’re getting into when they sign up to play the game.

That being said, there have been a few moments over the years where things that have happened have made me uncomfortable. Colton Cumbie lashing into Bill Posley’s personal life during last night’s Tribal Council was definitely one such occasion.

I spoke with Bill the morning after the weirdest Tribal Council ever to get his take on whether it was racism, classism, or just living a sheltered life that sparked the horrific exchange, why the Manono men are putting up with it, and what he could have done differently.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Gordon Holmes: Bill, I never, ever do this, but I want you to know I’m sending you the biggest hug possible over the phone lines.
Bill Posley: (Laughs)
CBS Representative: Gordon never does that.
Holmes: I never do that.
Posley: Aw…thank you, man.

Holmes: So, let’s not beat around the bush here; is Colton a bully?
Posley: Yeah. I think that’s an accurate way to depict his behavior and his character. He is a bully. If I can remember correctly, I believe he’s an only child. He’s spoiled, he comes from a very wealthy background. And I believe he’s gotten his way in his life pretty painlessly. And now that he has to deal with people from different walks of life, I believe he thinks he should get his way. He doesn’t realize that compromise or things like that are a part of human interaction.

Holmes: It’s one thing to want your own way, it’s quite another for a tribe of grown men to give you your own way. Why are the Manono men going along with his crazy ideas?
Posley: I was trying so hard to get him. Even us going to that Tribal was an attempt by me to sway people over to my side. But ultimately, it’s fear. It’s preservation. The other guys were thinking, “He has an idol. At least it’s not me.” But everyone just got straight in line like sheep to the slaughter. That’s not how I wanted to play. But yeah, fear is the reason.
Holmes: So that’s why you agreed to go to Tribal?
Posley: I thought it was a bold thing. In my mind people on the other tribe would think it was the boldest move ever. I tried to put together a campaign to go after him, and I thought I had some people on my side. I was going to go to Tribal Council to plead my case and expose him for who he was. It didn’t work out that way.

Watch Last Night’s Episode of “Survivor: One World”

Holmes: Was there any talk at all about trying to at least flush out his idol?
Posley: There has been. I don’t care who it is, if I know that there’s an idol in my camp and it’s not mine, I can’t sleep at night. It shouldn’t be a controlling power, it should be a target.

Holmes: “Gay Republican” is a demographic that is seriously underrepresented on American television. Are you worried that Colton has given them a bad name?
Posley: He absolutely has. Whether we like it or not, when you are in a public forum and you claim to be something, you’ve now labeled yourself as that. And unfortunately, the way you behave is a ripple effect. And he absolutely gave a bad name to everything he stands for. He claims to be a man of God and a Southern Baptist. But forgiveness, not lying, turning the other cheek? All the things about accepting people for who they are and everyone is a child of God? To have these strong opinions and hate people who come from different walks of life? That’s not spiritual. That’s not Godly. And I don’t think he knows what it’s like to be a gay man In America. He lives in a town with his boyfriend and their way of life is accepted. They get to go to church openly. Both of their families are respected, they’re respected. That isn’t really true for most people who grow up in this world. But yeah, anything he says he is, he’s now representing.

Holmes: I think what stuck with me the most was when Colton attacked your career choice. That was just oddly out-of-leftfield and personal. What was going through your mind when he decided to go there?
Posley: I’m sitting there going, “This guy knows absolutely nothing about me and he’s making judgments.” One of the things I kept from the group was that I was in the Army, that I was a veteran. And he’s sitting there saying, “You’re just sleeping on people’s couches, you’re blah blah blah.” I wanted to explode and be like, “The truth of the matter is; all these freedoms that you get to enjoy, I fought for them. I risked my life for you. And for you to sit up here and tell me to get off of people’s couches? I fought for the right to do that.”
Holmes: Dah…you should have said that.
Posley: I didn’t end up saying that because I didn’t want to reveal that. But I was sitting there biting my tongue, thinking “For you to be in a country where you can be openly gay and you can go to school and say what you want?  Freedom of speech? Freedom of religion? That’s why I defended this country. And for you to judge me for living it?” I couldn’t believe it.

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Jonas.
Posley: My brother.
Holmes: Tarzan?
Posley: Wild, too smart for his own good.
Holmes: Michael?
Posley: Michael is too soft spoken.
Holmes: Jay?
Posley: Good ol’ Southern boy.
Holmes: Jason?
Posley: Jason?
(A long period of silence.)
Holmes: Bad joke. Tarzan was calling Jonas “Jason” last night.
Posley: (Laughs) Oh yeah!
Holmes: You’re a comedian. You know the best jokes are the ones you have to explain.
Posley: (Laughs) They are the best jokes. Now you’re in my wheelhouse. That’s where I live.
Holmes: Alright, let’s try Leif.
Posley: Follower.
Holmes: Colton?
Posley: Inexperienced brat.

Holmes: With many of the Survivors on Twitter now, it’s easier than ever to drop someone a line and give them your thoughts. What’ve been some of the reactions you’ve been receiving since last night’s episode?
Posley: Up until last night I had no idea how it was going to be portrayed. I remember being there, but it was so long ago I don’t remember how powerful that moment was. But online has been one of the most supportive nets that I’ve ever fallen into. It has been so powerful. The two major things I’ve gotten are; so many people said they’re struggling too and me saying what I said makes them want to follow their dreams. And the other is the thing I said about “He judged me for my differences and I accepted him because of his.” I don’t remember saying that, but people have said, “Wow! That’s how life should be lived.”
Holmes: I’m glad you brought that up. I was watching with my girlfriend last night and she commented on what a great sentiment that was. Maybe your next step should be trade marking that and putting it on bumper stickers.
Posley: (Laughs) Yeah, and t-shirts.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – Warning: Horrible Strategy Ahead

March 7, 2012

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

Last Week: The SaLadies finally got the best the guys, Bill failed a puzzle after multiple tries, Colton might’ve told a few little lies, and poor alpha-male Matt had to say his goodbyes.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the two tribes currently stand…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Michael – 30, Banker
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

Quick Aside: They were hinting at big things tonight. Consider me giddy.

Business kicks off immediately after Tribal Council, as the Manotians are returning to camp. Michael is not pleased that they’ve voted off one of their strongest members.

The Zan Bros. (Troy and Tar) have a bit of a pow-wow where they decide that they have enough numbers to keep Michael around for a while. They agree that Bill is much more dangerous and should go home next. Shouldn’t be too hard to get Colton on board with that plan.

Another Quick Aside: Leif might be sleeping in a box.

The next morning we meet up with Monica as she prepares a delicious snail breakfast. Escargross? Nah…they’re starving, it’s cool.

Jonas and Troyzan swing by afterward and ask if they can make a trade for use of the women’s fishing equipment. The women don’t go for it, as they think feeding their enemy isn’t such a great idea.

Remember when people were afraid to make alliances on “Survivor” because it seemed mean? The game has come quite a long way.

Reward Challenge: Teams will take turns using a slingshot to shoot coconuts at a huge wall of targets. The first team to hit five targets in a line (horizontal, diagonal, or vertical) wins their choice of three rewards. The choices are pillows and blankets, a tarp, or donuts and coffee.

Bill will sit out for Manono.

Not a ton to describe here except for some coconut launching. A bit of a wrinkle is; it’s easy to hit the targets, but hard to destroy them completely. This leads to a lot of half-broken targets (or half unbroken if you’re a pessimist).

In a hilarious moment, Tarzan keeps calling Jonas, “Jason.” Meh…it’s not like they’ve been stranded on the same beach for over a week. Oh wait…

The score is even for a while, but the women eventually put five in a row and win the reward. The women can…not…be…stopped!

Tarzan is not impressed with this victory and claims that their win was all luck. The women brush off this diss and choose the tarp.

Hmm…as the women are leaving, Leif congratulates them. “Boston” Rob would not approve.

This week’s “Survivor” Original is my Power Rankings partner John Cochran! He is definitely an original. Here’s hoping he’s a winner this week too.

Back at camp, Sabrina lets us know how annoyed she was at  Tarzan for downplaying her team’s coconut marksmanship. (Markswomanship?) She may have said something derogatory about his rear end too. Since this is a family site, I won’t repeat it.

Meanwhile, Leif slips up and tells Bill that Colton was gunning for him. As you’d imagine, this does not please Bill.

Michael takes this opportunity to tell Colton that Leif was leaking information to Bill. Smart move, Michael. Colton shows off his sensitive side by referring to Leif as a “munchkin” and saying he needs to be sent back to Oz.

Quick Aside: Far be it from me to say what people should be offended by; but I don’t think people would be cool with Leif using a derogatory gay term to refer to Colton.

When Colton confronts Leif with this, Leif admits that he made a mistake. Colton thinks that move just sealed Leif’s fate. He then refers to him as an “Oompa Loompa.”


Next up, the teams receive tree mail in the form of a puzzle. Kat greets this news with a seemingly innocent comment about Alicia’s questionable puzzle prowess. Alicia promptly burst into flames.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will split up into pairs. One pair at a time, they’ll cross a teeter-totter to get to a puzzle. Once they’ve completed their puzzle they’ll receive a key. They’ll then return to the start and the next duo will go. Once all three duos have retrieved keys, they’ll unlock some locks and release their tribe’s flag. First tribe to release their flag wins immunity.

Jonas will sit out for Manono.

Colton and Tarzan make quick work of the first puzzle and jump out to an early lead over Chelsea and Alicia.

While Chelcia continues to struggle with the first puzzle, Michael and Jay complete the second task. Maybe Kat was right…

Finally, the women peek over at the guys’ puzzles to get a clue. Tarzan, as I’m sure you guessed, does not approve of that strategy. He yells out, “Cheater!” several times.

Jay, who doesn’t say much, gets in one of the lines of the night when he turns to Salani and clearly says, “You guys suck. You know that?” So much short-sighted strategy this season.

The women finally finish that first puzzle, but by then the guys’ lead is too great. Troyzan and Bill complete the third puzzle and return with the final key. Leif unlocs the locks and Manono reclaims immunity.

In the post-game wrap-up, Alicia admits that she totally blew it with that first puzzle. And yet, no apology for Kat.

Christina thinks this challenge disaster might work in her favor as everyone is annoyed with Alicia.

Later at Manono, Bill wants to talk to Colton about strategy, but Colton isn’t having it. He tells Bill off, letting him know that he’s wishy-washy and sure to be the next one to go home. So subtle.

Colton makes it clear that when he doesn’t like someone he doesn’t want to be around them or see them. Bill tries to press the issue, but Colton walks away from him.

Colton then comes up with the brilliant idea that the guys should go to Tribal Council instead of the women. Wait? Can a team give away immunity?

Anywho, he continues with this bat-feces-crazy line of thinking and for some reason, his other misfits aren’t putting their feet down to stop it. In fact Tarzan thinks this is a wonderful idea. Tarzan thinks Leif should go home because of his accidental leak.

Are you kidding me? Guys, you’re going to go to Tribal Council eventually.

That night at Tribal Council, the guys show up ready and willing to go down in “Survivor” history as the dumbest tribe ever.

I’m absolutely at a loss here. This is twelve shades of stupid. And my head is starting to hurt from banging it against this nearby wall.

Probst asks for a sane explanation as to why they’re there. He does not receive one.

Troyzan claims they’re there to vote out Leif because he let the cat out of the bag.

Leif admits to giving up the info. But he hopes that putting himself up for elimination proves that he has integrity.

Damnit, now my wall is dented.

Jay thinks the move to go to Tribal isn’t super bright, but he wants to stay strong with his alliance.

Colton thinks Bill is obnoxious and loud and that being a stand-up comic isn’t a real job.

Colton’s a bully.

Bill gets a little emotional as he explains his poor upbringing and how he’s doing everything he can do to get by.

Colton admits to going to a private, all-white school. Wait, they still have all-white schools?

Colton then takes it to a new level by saying that there is a black person in his life, his housekeeper. But, they treat her like she’s family.

Where’s the Tylenol…?

Bill finally snaps and calls Colton out on never having worked a day in his life.

Then, and this is good, Tarzan is worried that this conversation is painting Colton in the wrong light. Probst gets a nice zinger by saying, “Painted by who?” There’s a reason that dude has 40 Emmys.

Tarzan follows that gem up by ranting that race doesn’t matter because we have a black president.

Voting Time: Colton votes for Bill and recommends he take his broke (posterior) home, Bill votes for Leif, and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst tallies and returns; we’ve got one vote for Leif, four votes for Bill, and the fourth person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Bill.

Verdict: That was just rough to watch. It started with stupid strategy and ended with uncomfortable class/race ugliness. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get an ice pack for my head and take a shower.

Who’s Going to Win: Jason…er…Jonas.

Power Rankings Update: Christine Shields Markoski and John Cochran nailed it as they both had Bill in spot fifteen. I guess a tie is a step in the right direction for the guys. The current score is now Team Salani 46, Team Manono 34.

Programming Note: There won’t be any new “Survivor” recaps for the next two episodes. I’ll miss you all terribly.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: One World’ Power Rankings: Christine Shields Markoski vs. John Cochran

March 6, 2012

Christine Shields Markoski vs. John Cochran (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of  “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Hoping to bring the guys back from a huge deficit this week is John Cochran. He’ll be going toe-to-toe with Christine “Force to Be Reckoned With” Shields Markoski

Let’s check in with our two combatants before we get into this week’s rankings…

Gordon Holmes: We need you to stop the bleeding, John. We’re down by twelve points. Tell me you have some kind of Harvard-fueled strategy to get us out of this mess.
John Cochran: I think I’ve compiled the perfect Power Rankings here, Gordon. I pay very close attention to the show’s editing and story arcs in order to assess different players’ chances. This is some academic stuff, bro.
Holmes: That’s what I like to here. And you? Anything to say to your “South Pacific” buddies for giving you such a comfortable lead?
Christine Shields Markoski: Thanks, ladies!

Holmes: What’ve you two been up to since your time in Samoa?
Markoski: Up to? Up to my ears in laundry. Up to here with homework. All around, up to no good. 🙂 Ha! No, really, just had a great time with the fam. We traveled a bit when I got home. Hung out at the beach. My kids and hubby are beach bums. Read a lot! Just chillaxed before school started and now it’s just craziness. It’s all good, though.
Cochran: I’m back at law school, which has been a pretty jarring transition. I think I’m slowly finding my groove, though, and adapting to post-Survivor life relatively well.

Holmes: Are you enjoying “One World”? I thought it was off to a rough start, but has picked up now that we’ve had a chance to see the women win and the men scramble.
Cochran: I absolutely love the One World and men vs. women twists; they both seem like they might help undermine the sorts of things that often make a season predictable (alpha males dominating early on, Pagonging post-merge, etc.). It’s still too early to have any huge favorites, though.
Markoski: I think the idea is cool. There are certainly characters to enjoy. Although, none as entertaining as our very own Mr. John Cochran.
Holmes: Well, there’s no debating that. Was it nice to see the women finally get a win last week?
Markoski: It was magnanimous and overdue.

Holmes: Alright, the time for pleasantries is over. John, mercy is for the weak. We do not train to be merciful. Now put Christine in her place.
Cochran: Christine may have had an impressive run on Redemption Island, but guess what? Redemption Island is gone. Christine’s a temporary player, and I think we’ll see her time (and that of the women overall) running out very soon in these Power Rankings.
Markoski: I’ve kept my answers a bit short as I know John will be…how do I say? “Expansive with his answers.”  Unless Lin-sanity has gotten to him and he can’t think of anything else except basketball…(I’m hoping).

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate Power Rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Christine’s team will receive 8 points and Cochran’s will receive 7 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than the male team does you’ll get a special shout out in the Power Rankings and the respect of your family and friends.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 31

Got any advice for Christine? Drop her a line on Twitter.

Current Score: 19

Got any advice for Cochran? Drop him a line on Twitter.

1. This guy isn’t going anywhere. Nice guy, good at challenges, barely any camera time (except when the boys win a challenge and he gets hoisted in the air by a tribemate). 1. She’s part of the majority female alliance, she’s athletic, amiable, and not making any waves. I don’t see Kim going anytime soon, unless there’s a tribal swap and she’s left in the minority.
2. Safe. She’s even-keeled and possibly a calming force for the girls. I hope she is a quiet powerhouse. 2. It may seem weird for me to be throwing my support behind the woman who’s expressed her desire to punch tribemates in their faces and a willingness to idly watch her tribemates drown, but I think being the abrasive member of a majority alliance can be a good thing — her alliance will likely be scrambling to bring her to the end as a F3 goat. I think Alicia’s in it for the long haul, but I don’t think she’ll win.
3. Even after her “I’m cold and wet” (Guess what? You’re on “Survivor”) meltdown, I still think she’s sitting pretty within her alliance…for now. She may not be so lucky if (when) they mix up the tribes. I don’t think those guys are going to forget it was she that refused them the chicken. You know men and their stomachs. 3. Like Kim, Chelsea is athletic and seems well-adjusted. She showed some vulnerability last week during the rainstorm, but, as long as she keeps her emotions in check, I think Chelsea will go far.
4. Member of the Misfit (“Vampira”) Alliance. He’ll be OK for awhile… Where’s the sushi? 4. Sabrina was designated the “Salani” tribe leader during last week’s episode, which is really a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it shows that Sabrina’s tribemates think very highly of her and are unlikely to vote her out right away; on the other hand, being “leader” can also make you a bigger target in the event of a loss, just like the Project Manager on “The Apprentice.” Still, Sabrina’s gotten such significant airtime that I can’t imagine her story this season is anywhere near over.
5. Like Dawn, I’m going with the home team. I’m definitely on Team Sabrina. I’m hoping she can continue to handle this group of ladies and their “diverse personalities.” It’s not like school at all. It’s much easier to get a handle on a cafeteria full of screaming students than a group a starving, bedraggled survivors… me, I know. I just hope Sabrina being the leader doesn’t come back to haunt her. But for now she’s safe and that’s good. 5. Jonas is an interesting guy to watch this season. Apart from being a member of the majority offbeat men’s alliance, he hasn’t done much, but the show repeatedly turns to him to provide narration and his own commentary. Is he the voice of reason in a sea of misfits and roosters? Not sure, but the show hasn’t given us any reason to believe he’s going to be a target anytime soon.
6.  Member of the Misfit (“Walk Among Us”) Alliance. He’s got the underwear thing going for him and the alliance – what more does one need?  6. We haven’t heard or seen much from Leif. When the men returned to camp from losing a challenge in last week’s episode, we saw Leif bashfully waving to the victorious women. Foreshadowing a cross-tribal alliance?! He’s safe for now.
7.  I hate to say it, but she’s safe. She got in with the young girl alliance right out of the box. Smart move. If they wanted to get her out they would’ve (should’ve – for our sakes at least) done so already. (I do appreciate that she lives by the motto “better out than in,” though.) 7. I’m starting to really like Troyzan. He’s been kind to the women’s tribe, he’s the greatest physical asset for the Misfits, and he seems to be on at least somewhat good terms with the roosters. If he comes to be known as the leader of the Misfits, though, he might have a target placed on him in much the same way Sabrina has.
8.  Member of the Misfit (“Nike A Go-Go”) Alliance. Well done telling the PYT (Love it, Dawn) alliance that you were down with them. 8. By voting off Nina before Kat, the women demonstrated that Kat is pretty safe within the majority alliance. I do get the sense, however, that she’ll be the first of the core 5 to go if she botches any more challenges. Her hoodie is absolutely adorable, though, right?
9. God saved the Queen…and he still has the idol. Member, ahem, Queen of the Misfit (“Astro Zombies”) Alliance. I love hearing this guy bitch…and bitch. I really do. Although I fear that once the idol is no longer in his possession it’s “Off with her head!” Also, he’s getting more air time than Cochran and that ain’t right. 9. A lot of people have compared me and Colton. We’re both superfans, we both hog an inordinate amount of the airtime, and we both wear pink shirts. I think that’s really where the similarities end, though. I envy Colton’s position in the game because, even though it initially seemed like he was an outsider, he managed to recognize that “outsiders” actually comprised a majority of his tribe! He seems to be in a great power position, although I don’t know how many more times he’ll be able to cry wolf about playing his idol before it’s flushed out.
10. Dude, you stepped in it. Where once you were part of the  PYT Alliance, you are somehow (and I think unbeknownst to you) now part of the  Misfit (“20 Eyes”) Alliance. Congrats. 10. I grew to appreciate Tarzan this week. He’s articulate, goofy, and just delightfully naive about “Survivor.” He’s in the majority alliance, which is great, but I can see his blunt “Can’t you see we’re strategizing?” statements becoming annoying to his fellow Misfits, putting him on the periphery of that alliance.
11. I’m not too sure how long Alicia will stick around. Let me explain how one’s mouth can get them into trouble. And there’s no Redemption Island to, well, redeem yourself. If she can’t control her tongue, they’ll cut her (and maybe, it). 11. Of the roosters, Jay seems to be the least vocal, and the most willing to adapt to the circumstances. He’s now an honorary member of the Misfits, but he has to hope something shakes the game up, or else he’ll just go after Bill and Michael are gone.
12.  Guilty by ‘ab’sociation. Is he as alpha-male as the rooster? I don’t think so, but now that there’s a vacancy…? 12. When Jeff asked the women if they would change the makeup of their majority alliance if they could go back in time — and Sabrina and Chelsea said “Yes,” — I can’t help but think that they were wishing they could incorporate Monica into their fivesome. She seems smart, tough, and athletic, but she’s on the outside! Doesn’t look too good for Monica.
13.  She’s not part of the young ‘uns. ‘Nuff said. 13. This rooster crowed way too early when he stole supplies from the women just minutes into the game. I’m not sure if he’ll ever be able to fully integrate himself into the misfit-run tribe, unless a tribal swap shakes things up soon.
14. I hate to put her here. Hate it, I tell you. She’s doing great in challenges and uses her brain. The only reason I have her here is because she’s age-challenged (I didn’t say the “O” word ’cause she’s not. I mean look at her!) I’m hoping that the young ‘un alliance realizes her worth and keeps her. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening. 14. If the women lose, Christina is gone. If she gets voted out, though, at least she can leave with her head held high that she’s the voice behind this season’s most memorable quote thus far: (“Because you’re WRONG, okay?! So SHUT UP”).
15. Wow, he’s excited, like, really, can’t-believe-he’s-on-the-show, bouncing-out-of-his-seat, just totally excited. Whew. The Queen doesn’t like excited, you know. You’re outie. 15. God knows I love Bill. His character reel is my favorite YouTube video of the year. Unfortunately, he’s incurred the wrath of Mr. Cumbie, and previews suggest there’s going to be a big blow-up between the two. Considering that Colton has been the more prominent character, I have to assume that Bill comes out the loser in this duel.

‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview – Matt Quinlan

March 1, 2012

Matt Quinlan (CBS)

If you’re a physically fit male who is heading into the game of “Survivor,” you should have a pretty good idea of what to expect. You’re going to be relatively safe during the early going, as your tribe is going to want to stay strong for challenges. After the merge, you’ll be an automatic target.

That all goes out the window when the tribes are divided by gender or age.

Suddenly you’re a physically fit male on a tribe of three or four physically fit males. Your skills become much less valuable. Shannon Elkins found that out the hard way during “Survivor: Nicaragua” and Matt Quinlan found it out last night.

I spoke with Matt the morning after his elimination to get his thoughts on the target he felt was always on his back, Colton’s place in the alpha-male alliance, and chicken-gate…

Fun Fact: Matt is a San Francisco personal injury lawyer.

Gordon Holmes: In seasons where tribes are divided by gender or age, it seems like buff, good-looking guys like you and I lose that pre-merge advantage.
Matt Quinlan: The format of the game dramatically affects who is at an advantage, what peoples’ motivations are, and when people start executing their strategies. So, when you split it men vs. women, I think it’s the same as you said when it was old vs. young. The males felt like the challenges had to be fair, they wouldn’t be really physical and you wouldn’t have hand-to-hand combat or anything like that. So, it gives the males an opportunity to feel safe. Every man, whether he’s an athlete or not, thinks he can balance or do puzzles or have hand-eye coordination. So, you don’t feel the need to keep athletes or the people that would be one of the better teammates in a physical game.
Holmes: That’s a good point. I hadn’t thought about how the style of challenges would diminish the worth of athleticism.
Quinlan: I wish I would have had the benefit of mixed tribes that appreciated and needed my athleticism. Once I lost that, I feel like I lost my safety net. I didn’t really get an opportunity to work on the social game with a sense of calm because I was running for my life from the first day. Leif mentioned to me on the very first day that I was up for elimination.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor”

Holmes: You seemed very confident in your alliance with Jay, Michael, and Bill. Was there ever a chance to bring in a fifth person to give you a numbers advantage?
Quinlan: Yeah, the first few days we were working with Colton. And that changed once he got the hidden immunity idol. The way the alliance worked is, nobody was in a big rush to commit to anybody. There was no strong five that formed immediately. And I know in recent seasons that has happened and the girls did it within ten minutes. But, given that I felt threatened because they viewed me as the muscle or whatever, I wanted to protect myself with people that were viewed the same way. I tried to instill some fear in Jay and Bill and Mike. I kept saying, “They’re coming for us, they’re coming for us,” because I knew they were coming for me. I made the comment that I was in the dominant alliance, but that was when I thought Colton was working with us.
Holmes: Now, if Colton had become the fifth member of your alliance, you guys would have had the numbers and it seems like he could have easily coasted to the merge. However instead he seems to be flying by the seat of his pants. He wants Bill out because he’s annoying, he wants you out because you’re the head of the snake. It seems like he’s taking on a much more dangerous role. So, I’ve been trying to figure out if this guy is a genius or a lunatic.
Quinlan: I think he’s more genius than lunatic. With Colton, he’s a tough one to figure out. Ironic as it is, Colton is an alpha male. He is clever, he is way more socially savvy than people want to give him credit for. People think he’s a loose cannon because he’s crying and he seems unstable, but I think there’s a method to his madness.

Holmes: The feud between Manono and Salani seems unnecessarily fierce. How much of that is based on Michael’s looting of the girls’ equipment on the first day?
Quinlan: We didn’t even know what had happened, or I didn’t. When Mike was stealing all of that stuff, nobody saw him do it. They were accusing us of stealing their stuff and Mike was playing dumb. So honestly, I don’t think we figured out who did that for a week.
Holmes: Is that why you were so upset over chicken-gate?
Quinlan: I didn’t realize that they had this animosity toward us. Why would Chelsea make this deal with me and agree with me, and it was a formal agreement, and then go back on it? Why would you start the game like that? I didn’t realize that they felt slighted with the axe and we really did steal all of their stuff.

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Holmes: Last night, it seemed like Salani was peeking over at Bill’s puzzle. Was that something you were aware of? Was it something you could try to prevent?
Quinlan: They definitely were looking at our puzzle. I wish that they couldn’t do it. There was a mat there that we couldn’t get off of so we couldn’t huddle around him to protect them from seeing. But I think that was just part of the challenge. It was an equalizer if someone got behind. But Sabrina did a great job. It was just one of those things.

Holmes: Let’s do some word association. Tell me about Colton.
Quinlan: Colton is a diva. But, he’s also underrated.
Holmes: Bill?
Quinlan: Bill is a funny guy. He’s the center of attention. But he’s also very deep. There’s a lot to Bill.
Holmes: Chelsea?
Quinlan: Chelsea is a great blend between a girl-girl from the south, a southern belle, if you will and a girl you can watch a football game with. She’s just a really cool girl.
Holmes: Jay?
Quinlan: Jay is authentic. He is who he is.
Holmes: Alicia?
Quinlan: Alicia is out there. She is a lot of fun, she’s the type of girl who speaks her mind. She is somebody who will always be talked about one way or another.
Holmes: Tarzan?
Quinlan: He’s a pretty smart guy, but he’s also a ham.
Holmes: Jonas?
Quinlan: Jonas is measured. Jonas is thoughtful.
Holmes: Michael?
Quinlan: Mike is well-rounded.
Holmes: Let’s wrap this up with Troyzan.
Quinlan: Troyzan is a charismatic dude. He’s really youthful and has a lot of fun.

Holmes: “Survivor” is, of course, a TV show. And I think that sometimes it gets lost that these are real people who will have to go back to their real lives and real jobs. In your case, I don’t think you were shown in a very positive light. Do you think your portrayal was accurate?
Quinlan: I certainly have gotten a pretty potent blend of positive and negative reactions. I think people either love me or hate me. And, I’ve been able to see that on Twitter and the boards. I do think that I was portrayed to be angry and agitated, and I wasn’t thrilled with that. I’m really not an arrogant guy. I’m a straight shooter and I say it how it is. I think the serious, business side of me came out on the show and I wasn’t as fun-loving as I am in real life. But, all of the negative “Matt’s a jerk” stuff is fair because I saw it too and that’s all people have to go on. But I know if you were to ask my fellow castaways what they thought of me, nobody thinks I’m a bad guy.
Holmes: Well Matt, I’ll be sure to tell everyone that you were not being angry or agitated during this interview.
Quinlan: (Laughs) Thanks Gordon, I appreciate that.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes



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