Archive for January, 2011

An Open Letter to Will Smith

January 28, 2011

Dear Mr. Smith,

When I was a kid, you’d often hear this exchange in the Holmes household.

Little Gordon: Mom, I’m done watching “Ghostbusters.”
Gordon’s Mom: Did you like it?
Little Gordon: It was awesome!
Gordon’s Mom: Good, now go outside and pretend you’re a Ghostbuster while mommy finishes up this box of wine.

Then I’d rush outside and take down imaginary full-torso free-roaming vapors with a stick I was pretending was a neutrona wand. Good times for sure.


Corporate Synergy Has Never Tasted So Good

January 27, 2011

That’s right, free cupcakes, baby!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pitch some wrestling-centric plot ideas to my co-workers over at “Community.”

My Greatest Contribution to Reality Television

January 16, 2011

I was fortunate enough to get to travel to Nicaragua this past summer to visit the set of CBS’s “Survivor.” While I was there I had a chance to chat with reality TV guru Mark Burnett. The topic of “Celebrity Apprentice” came up, and everyone started tossing out their casting picks for the next season.

I popped on my reality TV producer hat and tried to figure out what I’d look for in a “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant. I decided that the ideal candidate would be relatively famous, free-spirited, and certifiably insane.

It was then that I decided that the two people who best fit that description were ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage and Gary Busey. I pitched those two ideas to Mark and we all had a laugh.

For those of you who follow the program (I don’t) you’ll be glad to know that Mr. Busey will in fact be suiting up for Mr. Trump’s next attempt to do whatever that show is intending to do. I will accept all due credit every time Gary sets something on fire or stabs a fellow contestant with a letter opener.

Sadly, Randy Savage was left on the sidelines.

Two ‘Survivor’ Favorites Join ‘Redemption Island’

January 13, 2011

It was announced this morning that “Survivor” Hall of Famers Russell Hantz and “Boston” Rob Mariano will round out the cast of “Survivor: Redemption Island.” This will be Hantz’s third and Mariano’s fourth appearance on the popular reality competition. Neither player has ever claimed the show’s million-dollar prize.

When asked how he’d approach another opportunity to play “Survivor,” Mariano said, “Each time I’ve played I have tried to recognize what mistakes I have made in the past and have tried to not make them again. Also each time you play, you will be in a different situation whether it be who you’re playing with, how many contestants there are, how many tribes there are, the location, etc.  There are too many variables to have a set game plan that you are going to stick to. Adaptability and being able to think on your feet and outside the box are good traits to have.”

This isn’t the first time a pair of popular players has squared off against an all-new cast. In 2005, Stephenie LaGrossa and Bobby Jon Drinkard returned to compete in “Survivor: Guatemala.” Drinkard was the 10th person to be eliminated from the game, while LaGrossa managed to make it to the final two. She was eventually defeated by Danni Boatwright by a vote of six to one.

“Survivor: Redemption Island” will premiere Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Contestants Revealed

January 10, 2011

The new contestants for the 22nd season of “Survivor” were unveiled by CBS this morning. These sixteen players, who will compete for a million-dollar prize, will have to deal with a new twist…

When players are voted out of the game they won’t go home, they’ll go to a location known as Redemption Island. The first person who is voted out will live there alone. When the next person is voted out, the two castaways will square off in a one-on-one challenge. The winner stays, the loser goes home. At some point in the game, the remaining person on Redemption Island will be allowed to return to the game.

Note: Two former “Survivor” contestants will join this cast. They’ll both be revealed in the near future…

andrea . ashley
Name: Andrea
Age: 21
Current Residence: Random Lake, WI
Occupation: Student

Tribe: Ometepe

Name: Ashley
Age: 25
Current Residence: Benton, ME
Occupation: Nurse

Tribe: Ometepe

david . francesca
Name: David
Age: 31
Current Residence: West Hollywood, CA
Occupation: Defense Attorney

Tribe: Zapatera

Name: Francesca
Age: 36
Current Residence: Washington, DC
Occupation: Attorney

Tribe: Ometepe

grant . julie
Name: Grant
Age: 29
Current Residence: West Hollywood, CA
Occupation: Yoga Instructor

Tribe: Ometepe

Name: Julie
Age: 50
Current Residence: Oceanside, CA
Occupation: Firefighter

Tribe: Zapatera

krista . kristina
Name: Krista
Age: 25
Current Residence: Columbia, SC
Occupation: Pharmaceutical Rep
Tribe: Zapatera
Name: Kristina
Age: 46
Current Residence: Malibu, CA
Occupation: Law Student
Tribe: Ometepe
matthew . mike
Name: Matt
Age: 22
Current Residence: Nashville, TN
Occupation: Pre-Med Student

Tribe: Ometepe

Name: Mike
Age: 31
Current Residence: Del Mar, CA
Occupation: Former Marine
Tribe: Zapatera
natalie . phillip
Name: Natalie
Age: 19
Current Residence: Acton, CA
Occupation: Dancer

Tribe: Ometepe

Name: Phillip
Age: 52
Current Residence: Santa Monica, CA
Occupation: Technology Executive

Tribe: Ometepe

ralph . sarita
Name: Ralph
Age: 45
Current Residence: Lebanon, VA
Occupation: Farmer

Tribe: Zapatera

Name: Sarita
Age: 36
Current Residence: Santa Monica, CA
Occupation: Visual Effects Producer

Tribe: Zapatera

stephanie . steve
Name: Stephanie
Age: 26
Current Residence: Long Beach, CA
Occupation: Waitress

Tribe: Zapatera

Name: Steve
Age: 51
Current Residence: Huntington Beach, CA
Occupation: Former NFL Player

Tribe: Zapatera

“Survivor: Redemption Island” will premiere Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

Gordon Holmes Is a Hypocrite

January 10, 2011

I hate hypocrisy. Just the notion of saying one thing and doing another drives me nuts. That’s why writing this blog is going to suck. (I’m sure reading it won’t be much of a picnic either.)

In 1987 you weren’t going to find a bigger Mark McGwire fan outside of Oakland, California than me. Mark played first base, I played first base. My sister was dating the brother of Iowa’s second-string quarterback. Mark McGwire’s brother Dan was Iowa’s first-string quarterback. In my eleven-year-old mind we were practically related.

When McGwire was traded to my beloved St. Louis Cardinals in 1997, that cemented it. Here was the guy who was going to take the reigns of my baseball allegiance  in the post-Ozzie Smith world.


One Bed, Ten Pillows

January 6, 2011

If you look to the left, you’ll see a picture of my bedroom. Some would say it’s a bit forward of me to invite you into my bedroom, but we’re all friends here on

Anywho…I love my bedroom. It’s located in my ancient house which is 120 years old, is located in a historical district, has original hardwood floors, and contains more pro wrestling and ‘Ghostbusters’ memorabilia than the law should allow.

Now if you take a close look at that photo, you’ll realize that there are a ton of pillows on my bed. Why would one bed require so many pillows? How many heads do I have? Chill out, pillow haters. I can explain.


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