Archive for March, 2014

‘Survivor’ Castaway Alexis: ‘I Think I Twerked Just the Right Amount’

March 28, 2014

Alexis Maxwell (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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I remember back in the day when players didn’t leave the game because of murderous rage or fear of their loved ones replacing them on Redemption Island. Back then, people were voted out by a jury of their peers for strategic reasons.

Good times.

I spoke with the most recent victim of one of those old-fashioned eliminations the morning after her torch snuffed. During the conversation we discussed why she was targeted, Morgan’s anatomy, and twerking…

Gordon Holmes: Alright, which one are you? The one who didn’t quit?
Alexis Maxwell: (Laughs) That’s me.
Holmes: OK, good. Last night you were so emotional after being voted out, as anyone would be. What’s it like to see Lindsey throw in the towel in the same episode?
Maxwell: It’s a stark contrast to how I exited. Seeing someone quit is never good. Part of the reason I was crying so much is I was thinking of all the fans that wanted to play and I felt like I let them down. I took a spot away from someone and blew it. So, I couldn’t imagine being a quitter.

Holmes: Was the vote a blindside or did you see it coming?
Maxwell: It shouldn’t have been a blindside. I should’ve been smarter than that, but it was 100%. I had no idea. The whole Tribal I was thinking of how proud I was of myself for making the merge. I was so excited. I was thinking of post-merge plans. I really didn’t think it was me going home.
Holmes: Was it your relationship with LJ and Jefra that made them choose you?
Maxwell: Yeah, I think I was too upfront about it. I thought when I was telling the Brains that I could pull in Jefra, I thought it was helping my case. It put a bigger target on my back.

Holmes: We’re five episodes into this season and I have no read on Morgan. Help me out here.
Maxwell: When I was out there I really didn’t know anything about her either. (Laughs) We didn’t really talk very much out there. She didn’t really talk to anybody. She had very interesting gameplay. Nobody considered voting her out because she was very not threatening. I said in one of my scenes that I wanted to keep her till the final three because there’s no way anyone would vote for her for the million. She’s a goat. Her gameplay was good for getting her far, but I don’t think it was strategy.
Holmes: She wasn’t connecting with anyone.
Maxwell: She really wasn’t. I don’t think her heart was in it. I thought she was going to quit. It didn’t seem like she wanted to be there. One time we won a challenge and I think she was sad because she wanted to go home.

Holmes: Was there ever any talk of the Beauties sticking together after the swap?
Maxwell: There was no talk of it at all which was obviously very dumb of us. I guess we all had a perfect wedge between us. I think we all thought we were doing the same thing which put them in the power position. They got so much information without having to give information out.

Holmes: So, your plan was to have twerking be a major component of your strategy?
Maxwell: (Laughs) It got me on the show because I used that in my application video. It was kind of funny. It’s what me and my friends do for fun. I didn’t think it’d be a topic of conversation on “Survivor.” (Laughs)
Holmes: I don’t know where the line is, Alexis. That’s an unanswered question. Did you twerk too much? Did you not twerk enough?
Maxwell: (Laughs) I think I twerked just the right amount.
Holmes: I feel like that’s something you can build on.
Maxwell: 100%. It’ll get me jobs in the future. I’ll have a nice career.

Holmes: Were there any visible cracks in the Brain alliance?
Maxwell: It seemed like Tasha and Kass were a solid unit. It seemed like Spencer was their puppy.  And that’s why I thought Spencer was good to talk to because he wasn’t running the alliance.

Holmes: What role was Sarah playing as the lone Brawny member?
Maxwell: It put her in a good spot. There was no threat to send her home. I didn’t want Sarah to get to the merge because she had so many people on the other side. But when Lindsey and Cliff disappeared it really hurt me and helped her.

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with LJ.
Maxwell: Horse whisperer. (Laughs) The horse dude.
Holmes: Jefra?
Maxwell: My girl.
Holmes: Jeremiah?
Maxwell: Annoying.
Holmes: Spencer?
Maxwell: Mixed feelings.
Holmes: Kass?
Maxwell: She’s funny. I like her.
Holmes: Brice?
Maxwell: My favorite! I love Brice.
Holmes: Join the club. Latasha?
Maxwell: Powerful.
Holmes: Let’s finish with Morgan.
Maxwell: Boobies. (Laughs)
Holmes: C’mon, Alexis. This is a family site.
Maxwell: (Laughs)
Holmes: Here we had a nice classy interview going.
Maxwell: I think it went well.

Holmes: What’s your takeaway from your time on the show?
Maxwell: I don’t think a lot of what I learned pertains to real life. I learned how to play better the next time. But the lessons won’t be applicable to my life. I learned to not think of the best-case scenario. I learned to be more paranoid and not see the good in people. But I would never bring that to my real life. I like my young, positive outlook.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Lindsey – ‘I Was Going to Kick the **** Out of (Trish)’

March 27, 2014

Lindsey Ogle and Jeff Probst (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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Getting on “Survivor” is really hard. Before Jeff Probst ever hands you a buff you have to go through interviews and more interviews, and tests, and shots, and crazy travel. It’s way intense.

So, for Lindsey to quit because she was worried about “flipping out” on Trish should tell you a lot about their relationship.

I spoke to the latest in the disturbingly long list of “Survivor” quitters the morning after she decided to pack it in. We had a chance to talk about her big decision, Probst’s reaction, and a challenge for her former Brawny buddy…

Gordon Holmes: Fill me in on this feud.
Lindsey Ogle: Trish and I were like fire and ice from the beginning. Have you ever met someone before where you don’t get along, and you know it, and it’s like a mosquito bite in your eyeball. You just want to (Screams). She was one of those that would stand up and watch people work and instruct. I didn’t get it. I didn’t have any respect for her.
Holmes: Clashing personalities is one of the reasons “Survivor” is still on 100 seasons later.
Ogle: You see it on the show and you’re like, “Oh well, it’s not that bad.” Oh gosh, it got to the point where I thought I was going to pull all of my hair out. We didn’t get along, she didn’t respect me.  I didn’t respect me. She kicked me when I was down. We hadn’t eaten, we hadn’t slept. And Cliff had just been blindsided. And it wasn’t because of Cliff that I threw in the towel. It was about whether or not I should stay and put up with it. But, the hands started shaking, I was sweating, I started pacing. I was almost to the point where…you get really primitive out there. I’m going to rip her face off. That’s how I seriously felt. I have a seven-year-old girl, and there’s a line that you cannot cross. She’s going to look at this and say, “My mom was a jerk. She beat up this thin, older lady. Not cool.” If it cost me a million dollars then…it’s a million-dollar lesson.

Holmes: Let’s be perfectly clear, when you used the term “flipping out” you literally meant you were going to physically assault Trish.
Ogle: Oh, I was going to kick the (expletive deleted) out of her.
Holmes: (Laughs)
Ogle: A lot of people who know me…I have man strength. It’s the first time in eight years that I’ve thought, “I’m going to cut you. I’m going to beat the snot out of you.” And I hate saying that, but that’s what was going through my mind. And it wasn’t some 30-second argument.  I was worried about her well-being.
Holmes:  Reality TV exists exists because they take two people from different walks of life who might not get along and put them in a situation together. Did you ever dream that they could find someone who would have you reacting this way?
Ogle: I have to deal with a lot of people in my job. I thought, “They could stick me with anybody.”

Holmes: “Survivor” fans hate quitters. What reaction have you been getting?
Ogle: People are saying, “Do you know how many people wanted to be on that show?” I get it. Do you know what I had to do to get on the show? I went through months of ridiculous crap. You have to drop everything you’re doing. I lost thousands of dollars because I have to work. I understand, I get where you’re coming through. In my real life I don’t quit. I did not quit for me.
Holmes: Jeff Probst has been harsh to quitters in the past. But, he seemed very even tempered with you last night. Was there something we didn’t see? Was he worried you’d beat him up?
Ogle: It’s all edited to make the storyline what it needs to be. And I understand that. I was thinking about staying and I kept toying with it. He and I had a basic understanding. He knew it wasn’t because I was some wimp little girl. He was kind of like, “I respect you for that.” And he did say that there hasn’t been anyone who’s quit because they were worried about hurting someone else. And a lot of social media people are saying, “What a lame excuse. You’re so weak.” If you knew my right hook you would think that was the best for everyone involved.

Holmes: Quickly jumping back into the game, did you know that Tony had found an idol?
Ogle: There were talks. Everybody kind of plays their own game. I thought people were being a little too cool about it. There was gossip. I figured he wasn’t the only person with one. There was a little bit of a security blanket. I had suspicions and those suspicions ended up being right.

Holmes: Alright, let’s try some word association. We’ll start with Woo.
Ogle: Ninja calm.
Holmes: LJ?
Ogle: Country man.
Holmes: Sarah?
Ogle: Backstabber.
Holmes: Jefra?
Ogle: I guess…honky tonk.
Holmes: Tony?
Ogle: Manipulative.
Holmes: Cliff?
Ogle: Silent one.
Holmes: Trish?
Ogle: Bitch. (Laughs) I’m kidding, I would probably say “mean girls.”

Holmes: You said you were getting grief on social media. Do you have any kind of message you’d like to send out to people who disagree with your move?
Ogle: Yeah, I know that quitters have a bad rep, but I feel like there are reasons behind it. And people need to look at the value of a million dollars isn’t the same for everybody. I know that I learned a couple of really great lessons. Maybe that’s what I needed in my choices. I know that Trish has been saying a lot of things on social media, and any time she wants to, we can get a ref, we’ll put on some 12-ounce gloves. That’d be something fun for me. Sarah’s a different story, I’m not messing with Sarah. But if Trish has as much muscle in her arms as she does in her mouth it could be a pretty good spar.
Holmes: You have to pitch that to Probst for the finale.
Ogle: I would love to do that! Grudge matches of “Survivor.”

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Episode 5 Recap – Cop Out?

March 26, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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Last Week: Tribes were swapped, booties were popped, Officer Tony flopped, and Cliff was dropped.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand.…

The Aparri Tribe (wearing orange)
Alexis – Student, 21
Jeremiah – Model, 34
Kassandra – Attorney, 41
Latasha – Accountant, 37
Morgan – Ex-NFL Cheerleader, 21
Sarah – Police Officer, 29
Spencer – Economics Student, 21

The Solana Tribe (wearing purple)
Jefra – Miss Kentucky Teen USA, 22
Lindsey – Hairstylist, 29
LJ – Horse Trainer, 34
Tony – Police Officer, 39
Trish – Pilates Trainer, 48
Woo – Martial Arts Instructor, 29

The fun gets underway immediately after last week’s Tribal and the sparks they are a flyin’! First, Trish tries to address the tribe, but Lindsey cuts her off. The two get into it with Lindsey saying some harsh things about Trish’s laugh and her teeth.

Trish wins by saying, “Do you think I’m annoying?” When Lindsey admits that she does, Trish responded with, “Do you think I care?”

Ha! Do you like apples?

Lindsey storms off and J-Pro is brought in to have a chat with her. Cause that’s just what Jeff wants to do after a long Tribal Council.

Lindsey tells Jeff that she’s worried that she’s going to flip out on Trish.

Fun Fact: Lindsey’s pre-season bio said she admired Martin Luther King Jr. because “in a time of struggle he pushed through without violence.”

Rather than “flip out,” Lindsey decides to call it quits.

Quick Aside: I think the most disturbing trend in today’s game is how often people are quitting. Getting on this show is hard and thousands of people would have loved to have had Lindsey’s spot.

Reward Challenge Time: One member from each tribe will enter a ring. They’ll each be holding an idol on a little platform. The first person to knock his or her opponent’s idol off of their platform will earn a point. First tribe to four gets to raid the opposing tribe’s camp.

Alexis and Kass will sit out for Aparri.

Round One: Spencer beat Woo. (Spencer used the very smart “toss your own idol” strategy.)

Round Two: Trish bested Latasha.

Round Three: Sarah defeated Jefra.

Round Four: LJ topped Jeremiah.

Round Five: Tony was victorious over Morgan.

(I’m running out of words for “defeated.”)

Round Six: Woo won against Spencer. Solana wins reward.

Woo and Tony will get to go to Aparri beach and  raid their camp. Before the raid begins they read a note that tells them exactly what they’re allowed to take. Well, that’s hardly a raid. More like a polite borrowing session.

The note also includes a hidden immunity clue. Tony decides to give the clue to Jeremiah so the tribe will turn against him. Man, Tony’s playing on another level.

However, Jeremiah realizes that the clue is the same one that he received back when he was on Solana beach. He thinks Tony is setting him up. He tells Spencer and Alexis his theory, but they don’t believe him.

Back at Solana beach, someone has written “Shame on you, Lindsie” (sic) in the sand. I agree with the sentiment, but I’m not sure what writing it in the sand will accomplish.

Tony tells everyone about his Jeremiah clue stratagem. He might be bragging a little too much about how clever he is. That’s going to put a target on his back.

After Tony is done admitting all of his schemes, Trish laughs and admits that she’s a man. And…uh…I…the  thing about that is…nevermind.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will use poles to build a staircase, then they’re race through a maze. After that they’ll maneuver a key through a rope obstacle. They’ll use the key to unlock a machete. They’ll use the machete to unlock puzzle pieces. Finally, the first tribe to complete the puzzle, get a combination, and unlock their flag wins immunity.

Latasha and Morgan will sit for Aparri.

The challenge starts off and Solana is having some real trouble with the concept of arranging the poles from “smallest to largest.”

Solana eventually catches up and it’s pretty close up until the releasing of the puzzle pieces.

Woo and LJ complete the puzzle faster than Sarah and Spencer to win it for Solana.

As Solana is celebrating, they’re all yelling, “Top five!” As you’d imagine, Sarah did not love hearing that. Cops R Us R Over?

Alexis isn’t thrilled to go back to Tribal. Apparently it’s the worst place in the world. Hey! Jeff Probst lives there!

Politicking around camp revolves around everyone debating the significance of “Top five.” The consensus seems to be that Aparri was so confident because they think that Jeremiah will flip.

That night at Tribal Council, Sarah learns about the ritual where fire = your life. Trust me, it’s better that she learns it here than out on the street.

Kass admits the brains are still together.

Morgan thinks that her and Jeremiah don’t get along. Jeremiah says he’s giving Morgan her space. They’re on a break!

Kass thinks it’s good to know that the beautiful people weren’t living the beautiful life. Dude, how could you think that with all the dumb stuff going on at the brains camp?

Spencer thinks they need to focus on fixing the fractures in the tribe.

Sarah says that Tony made her realize that she can’t count on past relationships.

Alexis is worried that Sarah could reconnect with the other side.

Jeremiah thinks the immunity clue puts a target on his back.

Morgan is worried that Alexis or Jeremiah could flip.

Alexis says that she has never gone back on her word.

Voting Time: Alexis votes for Jeremiah, Jeremiah votes for Alexis, and the rest of the votes actually happened, but weren’t shown to build drama.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Jeremiah, three votes for Alexis, and the seventh person to be eliminated from “Survivor: Cagayan” is…Alexis.

Oh man! We never got to see any twerking! Aparri is a bunch of jerks.

Oh well, at least now Alexis never has to go back to Tribal.

Verdict: I kind of feel like Aparri is really putting Solana in the driver’s seat by assuming they’re all so tight knit.

And Tony, I don’t agree with every move he’s making. But the dude came to play and is thinking outside the box.

Also, this season continues to rock.

Power Rankings Results: Ciera had Lindsey in spot twelve. I had her in spot thirteen. Ciera had Alexis in spot ten, while I had her in spot twelve. So, the current score is Team Ciera 49, Team Gordon 60.

Who’s Going to Win? Like I said, Tony might be playing too hard to take the whole thing, but he’s building a hell of a resume.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Power Rankings: Updated Graphics Edition

March 24, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Woo is voted out this week, Ciera will receive 11 points and Gordon will receive 10 points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Cagayan” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week’s Results: Gordon had Cliff in spot eight. Ciera had him in spot three. So, the current score is Team Ciera 27, Team Gordon 35.

Ciera’s Score = 27

Any advice for Ciera? Drop her a line on Twitter: @cieraeastin

Gordon’s Score = 35

Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Latasha –  This girl is proving to be not only brains, but she also showed that she was strong in that challenge. Tasha is in a great spot. She seems to be the leader in her alliance with Spencer and Kass which I would normally would say isn’t a good thing, but I think it’s turning out to be a great thing for her. Spencer feels closest to Tasha and Kass feels closest to Tasha.   1. Latasha – The random buffs have spoken and the geeks have truly inherited the Earth. What are the odds that all three of the them would end up on the same tribe? Actually, Latasha could probably calculate them for us. At any rate, the smarties are in the driver’s seat.
 2. Kassandra – Kass was one of the people I didn’t see going very far because I didn’t see her really committing or building relationships with anyone. But now that I see her bonding with Tasha and Spencer I think she’s got a real shot. No one seems to notice that she’s the oldest and she’s not necessarily an asset in the challenges.
  2. Jefra – Last week’s vote ensured that Jefra is probably going to go far in this game. Being the least threatening person in the dominant alliance is a pretty sweet spot to be in. However, if you want to actually win, you’re going to have to show us something.
 3. Spencer – My favorite. He is showing some real strategy in my eyes by laying low and letting Tasha kind of seem like the leader of the Brains.
  3. Kass – “Andy crawled to freedom through 500 yards of (expletive deleted)-smelling foulness I can’t even imagine.”  Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding – “The Shawshank Redemption”

OK, maybe Kass didn’t have it that bad, but it was rough. Can’t wait to see what she does with her freedom.


 4. Tony –  Tony made a big move by deciding to go with Trish and get rid of Cliff. I hated that move but mainly because I really love Cliffy!! Tony still has that hidden immunity idol and still has the numbers!   4. Tony – I think I agree with Tony’s move last week. While it’s good to keep a big target like Uncle Cliffy around, it was pretty clear that Cops R Us were on the bottom of the five-person brawn alliance. Also, if Sarah wasn’t 100% with Tony before the swap, she definitely will be when she sees Cliff is out of the game.

 5. Sarah –  Being the one out of the loop isn’t always a bad thing. I really believe Sarah did good this week by laying low and letting the beauties self-destruct. She is going to mean numbers to someone and being needed is a great thing!   5. LJ – I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to get out a major jam with your immunity idol intact. Well played, sir. Now if you can work the Lindsey/Trish feud properly, you can get to the merge with Jefra in your pocket (not literally) and a ton of options.
 6. LJ – Okay, so he’s growing on me a little. Flirting with Trish was great, and got you through another week.
  6. Spencer – I’d bet Spencer has been dying to play some real  “Survivor.” And now that he isn’t in mega-scramble mode he can do just that. Should be fun to watch.
 7. Jefra – There are ALWAYS cracks in alliances. The key is finding it, timing it, and exposing it. Jefra played it very well. LJ did a great job flirting with Trish and building that relationship, but Jefra was the one who put the move into motion. The conversation between Trish and Jefra showed some strategy from Jefra that I have been waiting to see from her! Also, I love people who don’t go down without a fight!
  7. Sarah – It usually isn’t good news when you’re put on a tribe without any of your allies, but I think you’re going to be OK. Follow the brains’ lead until you can get back to your brawny buddies.
 8. Jeremiah –  Being a beauty was rough this week. Luckily for him I think Morgan and Alexis are going to battle this one out and one of them is more likely to go home.  8. Jeremiah – Alexis and Morgan both seem to be rubbing our brainy friends the wrong way. Might be best to let those two take the bullets while you make yourself super useful around camp and in challenges.
 9. Trish –  Okay, it does seem like she got before she was gotten because I do believe that Lindsey, Cliff, and Woo definitely would have turned on her eventually. BUT she is playing way too hard, and causing fights at camp is never a good move. Turning on your alliance shows that you can’t be trusted.   9. Trish – I don’t know what happens after Tribal, but it looks like a mess. Arguing with your tribemates, J-Pro having to leave his cozy villa to tend to an upset Lindsey. Either way it’s bad news. You’re either setting yourself up to be the next surprise boot or the perfect goat to take to the end.
 10. Alexis –  My girl. Finding out about Morgan couldn’t have come at a better time for you, and finding out in front of everyone is even better. I would definitely play on that. She might have come off a little “gossipy” as Spencer said. However she showed that she came to play and took her fate into her own hands by approaching the Brains before anyone else.   10. Woo – Oh, Woo! You were finally put on beauty beach where you belong and then disaster strikes. Horrible. I don’t know what your move is from here, maybe try to turn the others on Trish?
 11. Woo –  Poor Woo. With Uncle Cliffy gone he is in a tight spot. He didn’t really cover his bases and he also hasn’t really shown he is here to win. I’m really excited to see if Woo starts to put up a fight now that his back is against a wall… I sure hope so.  11. Morgan – “Twerking?! On the beach? Thanks for bringing that to our attention. We’ll be sure to vote out Alexis immediately!” I kid, portraying Alexis as someone who has strong ties on the other tribe is probably your best move at this point.
 12. Lindsey –  I do really feel bad for Lindsey. I think squashing the beef between herself and Trish would be her smartest move considering you needed her vote.  12. Alexis – Is it possible the brains will make their decision based on if they’re anti-twerking? Doubtful. But, I feel like the brains have been through too much to base their vote based on something like a day-one lie. They’re going to base it on who’s closest to LJ.
 13. Morgan –  Morgan got caught looking for the idol in the beginning, covered with a lie, then got caught in her lie… that sucks. Now you’re untrustworthy, a liar, and possibly have the hidden immunity idol. Big target on your back this week!  13. Lindsey – Alright, I don’t know why J-Pro is visiting you on the beach, but don’t quit, dude. Seriously. DO NOT QUIT. Let them vote you out like an adult.

Don’t miss “Survivor: Cagayan” this Wednesday, March 26, 2014 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor’ Castaway Cliff: ‘Being Irritating Was a Part of (Trish’s) Game’

March 20, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”7054975368782091112″ program_type=”series”]

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; tribe swaps are the worst. It takes a pair of teams and immediately turns them into individuals. Challenge strength takes a backseat to merge strategies.

(Although in this case, Cliff’s tribe was already trying to get rid of him. But, that doesn’t prove my point, so we’ll ignore it.)

I spoke to the world’s tallest sports management executive the morning after his blindside and asked about his end-game plans, being targeted by Cops R Us, and the Lindsey/Trish feud…

Gordon Holmes: Rough way to go last night with Tony and Trish stabbing you in the back. Did you see it coming at all?
Cliff Robinson: I felt pretty strong all day. But, right before leaving to Tribal there was a conversation that was brought to my attention that made me feel some kind of way about Tony. But, we were getting ready to leave so I couldn’t get back to Tony and massage the relationship or confirm that he was going to vote the way we had decided to vote.
Holmes: Was your plan to be five strong with Woo, Lindsey, and Cops R Us and then go to the final three with Woo and Lindsey?
Robinson: That was the plan. The plan was to keep the five together. I knew Trish was going to, once I saw that she was able to get with LJ, I knew it was going to be over. She was so taken by LJ that I knew once he was able to get her to the side, we would probably lose her. But, she was lost from the beginning.
Holmes: Yeah, it seems like her and Lindsey were butting heads from the first episode.
Robinson: They just didn’t get along. I think that was a part of Trish’s game. (Laughs) And I’ll give her credit for that. I think being irritating was a part of her game. It worked its magic eventually on Lindsey and on me because after a while I didn’t talk to her either.

Holmes: What’s going through your mind when you’re watching Tony poisoning Sarah against you and then them trying to throw a challenge to get rid of you?
Robinson: I had to give them kudos for trying it. They tried to make a move. Big moves are going to be rewarded or you’re going to pay for them. They tried to make a big move.
Holmes: I think the mistake they made was trying to throw a challenge that involved you making free throws.
Robinson: (Laughs) This is true.
Holmes: Sarah approached Woo about throwing the challenge and he seemed to be into it. Did you have any idea that Woo wasn’t 100% on your side?
Robinson: That was the thing that surprised me. Even though they talked to Woo about it, me and Woo had conversations about Sarah and Trish, but he never confided in me about them trying to throw the challenge. I think in his defense, he didn’t know which way the tribe was going. And he was on the fence whether to stick with Cliff and Lindsey or to go with Sarah, Trish, and Tony. When you’re in a numbers game you’ve got to be on the fence. So, I understand where he was at.

Holmes: Did you tell everyone you were in sports marketing?
Robinson: (Laughs) I do work in sports marketing. But right from the beginning, the basketball thing came up immediately. I thought I’d just nip it in the bud and be honest with them.
Holmes: Jeff Kent wears a baseball hat and a helmet and he isn’t quite as tall as you. He might blend a little better.
Robinson: There was nothing wrong with me wanting to omit something. So, if they would’ve asked me if I’d played basketball without someone recognizing me, I probably would’ve said I played some kind of basketball and tried to not bring up the fact that I played in the NBA. But, right at the beginning Woo outted me with the basketball cards.

Holmes: You’re a big guy. You require a lot of calories to get going. How tough was the lack of food on you?
Robinson: After a while, it’s not really that big of an issue. I was able to catch a fish, we found papayas, we found bananas. So, we were able to take advantage of some of the things that were in our environment. But, the biggest thing is hydration. You’re sweating, you’re moving. You want water all the time.
Holmes: One of the knocks Trish made about you was that you weren’t contributing around camp. Do you think her assessment was correct? We only see what they show us.
Robinson: Very not true. That was one of the things I was disappointed about the editing of the show. I caught coconut crabs, I fished, I was the person to locate the papaya trees, I found a lime tree. I was the person to get the bananas. I think that’s a very unfair assessment, especially when she was the person who was eating all of the stuff that I brought into camp. But, at the same time, it was a part of her game to get LJ and Jefra to think negatively about me.

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Woo.
Robinson: Reliable.
Holmes: Lindsey?
Robinson: Tough.
Holmes: Trish?
Robinson: (Laughs) Not my type of person.
Holmes: Sarah?
Robinson: Shady.
Holmes: Tony?
Robinson: Very shady.
Holmes: (Laughs) Jefra?
Robinson: Naïve.
Holmes: Let’s finish with LJ.
Robinson: LJ is smooth. He was able to win some people over with his ability to be laid back.

Holmes: Both of our cops are “shady.” Has your experience in the game affected your opinion of the boys (and girls) in blue?
Robinson: No, not necessarily. There’s always a place for a police officer when you need one. But at the same time I’ve run into police officers who don’t tell the truth. I probably should have remembered that when I was out there.

Holmes: It seemed like you were having a blast out there. Any interest in going back?
Robinson: I wish I had the opportunity to blindside someone. I can’t wait to get back out on the beach. I said, “Let’s go, Probst. Get me back out there!”

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Episode 4 Recap: Pretty Smart?

March 19, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”7054975368782091112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: Brawn tried to throw immunity, but the Brainiacs still lost, while J’Tia made like a bag of rice and ended up being tossed.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand.…

The Appari Tribe (wearing orange)
Cliff – Former NBA Star, 46
Lindsey – Hairstylist, 29
Sarah – Police Officer, 29
Tony – Police Officer, 39
Trish – Pilates Trainer, 48
Woo – Martial Arts Instructor, 29

The Luzon Tribe (wearing green)
Kassandra – Attorney, 41
Latasha – Accountant, 37
Spencer – Economics Student, 21

The Solana Tribe (wearing purple)
Alexis – Student, 21
Jefra – Miss Kentucky Teen USA, 22
Jeremiah – Model, 34
LJ – Horse Trainer, 34
Morgan – Ex-NFL Cheerleader, 21

We kick this party off back at Brainy Beach after Tribal where a very thankful Spencer is giving hugs left and right.

Kass says they aren’t the Brain tribe, they’re the “Crap for Brains” tribe. Well, it doesn’t roll off the tongue, but it’s accurate.

Reward Challenge Time: Wait…not yet…

Before the challenge can get underway, Probst tells ’em to drop their buffs. I wonder if Probst has ever used that as a pick-up line.

J-Pro hands out the new headgear and it looks like we’ve got Woo, Cliff, Jefra, LJ, Tony, Lindsey, and Trish on the Solana tribe and Latasha, Kass, Alexis, Morgan, Jeremiah, Spencer, and Sarah on the Aparri tribe. Great, now I have to learn tribe names.

Sarah is not psyched to be on the tribe that has none of her brawn buddies on it.

Latasha, on the other hand, is happy that she isn’t surrounded by people who suck at challenges anymore. She may not have used those exact words.

Reward Challenge Time (for reals this time): One person will hold onto a pole while two people from the other tribe will try to get them off of the pole and across the beach. First tribe to do this twice wins pastries and other assorted breakfast goodies.

Round One: Morgan and Sarah will try to get Lindsay off the pole while Jefra and Trish will try to evacuate Tasha. It’s quite a brawl with Morgan and Sarah eventually getting the point.

Round Two: Spencer and Jeremiah will attack Cliff while LJ and Trish will battle Alexis. No contest here, Alexis is quickly dragged across the beach. Seriously, Cliff is so big. I wonder if he just lied there flat if they could move him at all.

Round Three: Spencer and Jeremiah will go after Cliff again while Lindsey and Tony will try to take down Sarah. Sarah tried her best, but it wasn’t close. Lindsey and Tony win it for the Solana tribe.

Back at camp, LJ gets in a solid joke asking if their shelter is a tarp or Cliff’s jacket. Well played. Jokes aside, he realizes the idol is only going to buy him three more days. Luckily for him, Trish thinks he’s cute and likes that he’s from Massachusetts. Unluckily for us, this eventually devolves into a conversation about twerking.

Later on, Cliff lets us know that he’s happy that so many Brawns ended up on his tribe. But he could do without having Trish (and her laugh) around.

A little while later, Trish admits to Jefra that she doesn’t get along with Lindsey and that they’ve been gunning for Cliff. Dun dun dun…

Over at Aparri, Sarah asks everyone what decisions their tribes made with the immunity idol clues on day one. This upsets Morgan because she lied to her tribe about the idol clue.

Alexis picks up on this and immediately wants to cut Morgan loose. She approaches the Brains about an alliance.

Afterwards, Morgan accuses Alexis of twerking for LJ. Again with the twerking? Kids these days. Either way, it looks like the Brainy Bunch is finally in the driver’s seat.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will use a battering ram to drive their way through two walls. Then they’ll have to maneuver the ram through a maze. First tribe to complete the maze and smash a gong wins immunity.

Trish and Morgan will sit for their respective tribes.

Note: Before the challenge got underway, Probst tried to determine the sex of the immunity idol. Unfortunately (fortunately?) the idol isn’t anatomically correct.

Both tribes manage to get through the walls at the same time. From there, Aparri completes the maze first and wins immunity. Didn’t see that coming.

Politicking around Solana seems to pit the former Brawnies vs. the former Beauties. However, Trish wants to bring the cuties on board with her and Tony to get rid of Cliff. She approaches Tony with this idea and he doesn’t seem that into it. Well, maybe if their new alliance had some kind of cool name…

Quick Aside: If LJ admitted to having an idol, he could flip the game with Trish and not have to worry about Tony.

That night at Tribal Council, LJ feels like he and Jefra are only going to be around for as long as the Brawns want them there.

Cliff thinks there’s someone in his alliance who isn’t comfortable with their position.

Woo thinks going against your alliance will only put you in a bad position. Gah…way to play the game, Woo.

Trish thinks sometimes you have to make other arrangements for yourself.

Jefra thinks the game is about risk and the person on the bottom won’t win.

Lindsey thinks the Brawnies will do better if they stick together because the tribes will eventually merge.

Tony thinks Tribal will decide if they’re sticking with the gameplan or starting a new alliance. Just like every Tribal ever.

Voting Time: Woo votes for LJ, Jefra votes for Cliff, and the rest of the votes are secret.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for LJ, one vote for Cliff, one vote for LJ, one vote for Cliff, one vote for LJ, one vote for Cliff, and the fifth person to be voted out of “Survivor: Cagayan” is…Cliff.

Oh man, the look on Lindsey’s face is priceless.

Verdict: Wow, the guy I thought was safe was just voted out by the tribe I was convinced would win immunity. This season keeps with the goodness.

Power Rankings Results: I had Cliff in spot eight. Ciera had him in spot three. So, the current score is Team Ciera 27, Team Gordon 35.

Who’s Going to Win? Cops R Us is looking pretty good at this point. But the Brains have a lot of room to  make things happen. Tough call, but I’m sticking with Sarah.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Power Rankings: Tribe Swap Edition

March 18, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

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The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Woo is voted out this week, Ciera will receive 2 points and Gordon will receive 7 points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Cagayan” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week’s Results: Ciera had J’Tia in spot fourteen, Gordon had her in spot fifteen. So, the current score is Team Ciera 24, Team Gordon 27.

Ciera’s Score = 24

Any advice for Ciera? Drop her a line on Twitter: @cieraeastin

Gordon’s Score = 27

Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Tony –  This week is difficult because I don’t have a whole lot to go off of cause of this whole tribe swap thing. Judging from the preview for next week it looks like one tribe has a lot of the brawn which is why I think if they are smart they’ll stick together for awhile. But that rarely happens so we’ll see. Tony does have the hidden immunity idol and the numbers so he should be okay this week.   1. Kassandra – Alright, let me get this out in the open first…I HATE TRIBE SWAPS! HATE, HATE, CAPS LOCK, HATE THEM! They punish people who are playing good games and they immediately put strong challenge competitors at a disadvantage before the merge. Teams are more likely to throw challenges so they can eliminate the other alliance’s strong players. HATE HATE HATE. Anywho, the swap is just what the Brainy kids needed. Kass should be safe for a while.
 2. Woo – Woo also has the numbers and seems to have built enough relationships that I doubt he is in any trouble this week.
  2. Lindsey – And another thing; TRIBE SWAPS MAKE POWER RANKINGS TOO HARD! We’ve never seen Kass interact with Woo. What if they fall in love? What if they start a blood feud? Bah…Lindsey will probably be alright too.
 3. Cliff – Cliff is a great asset to the challenges. He’s former Brawn tribe, and he’s close with Woo.
  3. Latasha – Kudos for making the right move last week in getting rid of J’Tia. It would have been a disaster to go into a tribe swap being known as the person who kept a rice tosser around. Now you’ve got some room to maneuver.

 4. Lindsey –  She is part of the numbers, all she needs to do this week is perform well in the challenge and lay low.   4. Trish – It looks like one of the tribes is very Brawn heavy. Probably safe to assume they’re going to stick together, but if not, Trish probably won’t be a primary target.

 5. Trish – She is the oldest woman on her tribe so she needs to start building an alliance fast before she gets left out of one.   5. Spencer – It was easy to be annoyed with Spencer before the show started. All of his pre-game interviews made him out to be an arrogant twit. But, he’s proven to be a very shrewd player. I even caught myself rooting for him. Keep up the good work.
 6. Latasha – I have loved this girl so far. She’s a fighter and she knows how to use people to get further in the game.
  6. Tony – The bad news for Tony is that it looks like his Cops R Us partnership is going to have to be put on the back burner. The good news is he’ll still be surrounded by tribemates and he’s still got an idol.
 7. Kassandra – Kass has Tasha and maybe Spencer?
  7. Woo – Who doesn’t love Woo? He’s good looking, funny, he’s got a great attitude, and his tribe has the numbers. Not only that, but his new tribe seems to be the stronger of the two.
 8. Sarah –  Having someone to all of the sudden having no one is no fun! Sarah is going to have to start fresh and build a new alliance to get her to the merge. I could see her sticking with the guys instead of the girls but I guess we’ll see. Whoever she goes with I believe she will be safe this week.  8. Cliff – A free throw immunity competition? Seriously? That’s like having Ciera compete in a “Trivia About People Who’ve Voted Their Mothers Out of ‘Survivor’” immunity challenge.
 9. LJ –  I definitely think LJ rubs people the wrong way and if he didn’t have the idol I could see him going home this week…but he does! So maybe his only ally Jefra will take the heat this week?   9. Sarah – Looks like you’re the only person who isn’t going to have a former tribemate around. Hopefully that won’t cause you too much trouble. Your lack of allegiances should allow you to sneak in with the dominant alliance.
 10. Alexis –  She is a girl on a tribe that the girls dominate…she does have Jeremiah but she seems to be stirring the pot a little. If the women are intimidated by the beauties Tasha and Kass could be wanting Alexis or Morgan out.   10. LJ – Like I said above, tribe swaps are bad news for challenge competitors on smaller tribes. That’s you, buddy. You’d better take that immunity idol with you everywhere.
 11. Jeremiah –  The bad blood between Morgan and Jeremiah I think will come to a head here. Jeremiah is smooth and likable and I could see the new tribe mates falling for it and trusting him.  11. Alexis – Looks like the Beautiful People are going to dominate the bottom of this week’s rankings. That’s because the Brawns have numbers and nobody is afraid of the Brains.
 12. Spencer –  I loved him last week. and I am rooting for him. He seems to have his work cut out for him though, but he definitely has some options. He has shown to be great in the challenges, a helper around camp, and has ties to Tasha and Kass. And Jeremiah whose not going to want to get rid of another guy.  12. Jefra – Could the Brawns split the vote for fear of Jefra or LJ having an idol? Definitely. Right now the only thing really working in Jefra’s favor is that fact that her tribe looks to be more physically dominant.
 13. Jefra –  Jefra needs to expand and charm her way into a new alliance to get her to the merge. She doesn’t bring a whole ton to the challenges, she seems to complain a little, and she doesn’t have the hidden immunity idol.  13. Morgan – Outside of a couple of Brainiacs, nobody needed a tribe swap more that Morgan. Now that she’s got it, here’s hoping she can use some of those smarts she’s shown to find a new alliance.
 14. Morgan – I don’t want to see this girl go. I loved that she called out Jeremiah in front of everyone last week. BUT that could have really gotten you into trouble now, because instead of having Jeremiah and Alexis wanting to work with you now Jeremiah wants you out! Better just focus on winning the challenge and convincing the girls to stick together.  14. Jeremiah – The question that will determine Jeremiah’s fate is; does his tribe care more about challenge strength or getting rid of threats and diminishing the Beauty tribe’s numbers? Ask Tyrone from “Survivor: Nicaragua” how that works out.

Don’t miss “Survivor: Cagayan” this Wednesday, March 19, 2014 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor’ Castaway J’Tia: ‘I Didn’t Care If They Didn’t Eat’

March 13, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”7054975368782091112″ program_type=”series”]

If you Google “How to Cook Rice” you’ll get about 147,000,000 results.

I can’t speak for which method is the most tasty, but I’ll bet J’Tia Taylor’s will get you in the most trouble.

I spoke with “Survivor: Cagayan’s” most notorious chef the morning after she was voted out of the game and had a chance to ask her about the motivation behind her culinary disaster, her relationship with the Brainy Lady alliance, and why she never wants to be a good loser…

Gordon Holmes: You, Latasha, and Kass seemed pretty tight heading into last night’s vote. Were you blindsided?
J’Tia Taylor: It was not unexpected. I knew there was a chance. Anytime anyone goes to Tribal Council they should assume there’s a chance they can be voted out. Going in I did not think they would vote me out, but as it progressed and as Jeff spoke more I understood that he was leading them to consider the challenges. So, it was no surprise to me when I was voted out.

Holmes: You’re probably going to be remembered as the woman who threw the rice on the fire. And this has happened on “Survivor” before. Brandon Hantz did something similar. But, Brandon was an excitable, young man who wanted to make big TV moments, where you seemed like you’d be way more strategic. Help me understand what went into your decision.
Taylor: So, at this time everybody on my tribe basically told me that I was going home. I was already feeling dejected because I did not come through with the puzzle. I felt bad enough and they were kicking me when I was down. Then, I felt like Garrett, who was supposed to be in my alliance, we were supposed to vote Kass out next, turned on me. So, I figured I’d get him where it hurts and that was his stomach. He was always talking about how he was hungry. And, he was supposed to be watching me, so I figured it’d be a double whammy. And I really wasn’t too happy with everyone else, so  I didn’t care if they didn’t eat. And personally, I’d rather stay and starve than go home and eat. So, I threw out the rice.
Holmes: Latasha was in your corner at that point. Was there any concern for her?
Taylor: Latasha said I was going home as well. And as far as us not having any rice to eat, we actually had more food after I threw out the rice than before. We had bananas, I caught us some crabs, we got a little smarter about how we ate. And we still had some rice left over. But, nope. Didn’t feel bad.
Holmes: Do you ever have any over-the-top reactions to things in your everyday life?
Taylor: Like I just go into the cafeteria and dump out all the rice in anger?
Holmes: That’ll show ‘em!
Taylor: (Laughs) Yeah! You, Colonels…how dare you? But no.

Holmes: So many of the things we saw about you were negative. What were some of the positive things that we missed?
Taylor: It seemed like Tasha and Kass hated me. And it’s OK to say I was volatile because I was. I was really hurt. But we got along for the most part. Kass and Tasha, they told me things to my face, they were honest, we did each other’s hair for the challenges. I’m not going to say I enjoyed every minute of it, but I liked everybody I was out there with. I didn’t know they had so many problem with me or thought I was bossy, (Laughs) although I can imagine why they thought I was bossy. But, I am who I am.

Holmes: You’re very successful in your everyday life, and here you’re put into a situation where your value is based on how well you can put a flag on a board while blindfolded.  Was it frustrating to be unable to contribute?
Taylor: It was very frustrating, these are clearly not skills that I use in my everyday life. I thought the Brawn people were so successful because they had a history of competing under pressure. That really helped them come from behind and not panic. It was very frustrating. I’m not used to losing. I’m not a good loser, I don’t want to learn how to become a good loser, because I don’t intend on continuing to lose in real life.

Holmes: What has the reaction been like from “Survivor” fans?
Taylor: I don’t know, I only read the good comments.
Holmes: Smart, I have a filter on my computer that doesn’t let bad comments in.
Taylor: No, I don’t have that, I just ignore everybody. You guys with negative comments are wasting your time. Here…let me see… “J’Tia Angel, you’re a star, you make this season so much better just by being in it.” Here’s another one, “J’Tia, I still love you down to your bone marrow.”

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Garrett.
Taylor: Muscular.
Holmes: David?
Taylor: Crafty.
Holmes: Spencer?
Taylor: Deaf mute.
Holmes: Kass?
Taylor: Salty woman.
Holmes: Jeff Probst?
Taylor: Dot dot hmmm…
Holmes: (Laughs) And Latasha?
Taylor: Really athletic.

Holmes: You had an interesting ride out there. What’s your big takeaway from the experience?
Taylor: I want to say I had a big takeaway, but I can’t think of one. I’m trying to give you something, Gordon. I am who I am. I like who I am. That’s the takeaway. I like who I am, some people don’t. You’ve got to rock with how you are and that’s what I do.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Episode 3 Recap: MENSAd

March 12, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”7054975368782091112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: A cop received some back-up, LJ found an IDL, and beautiful butterfly Brice was released into the wild.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand.…

The Appari Tribe (wearing orange)
Cliff – Former NBA Star, 46
Lindsey – Hairstylist, 29
Sarah – Police Officer, 29
Tony – Police Officer, 39
Trish – Pilates Trainer, 48
Woo – Martial Arts Instructor, 29

The Luzon Tribe (wearing green)
J’Tia – Nuclear Engineer, 30
Kassandra – Attorney, 41
Latasha – Accountant, 37
Spencer – Economics Student, 21

The Solana Tribe (wearing purple)
Alexis – Student, 21
Jefra – Miss Kentucky Teen USA, 22
Jeremiah – Model, 34
LJ – Horse Trainer, 34
Morgan – Ex-NFL Cheerleader, 21

We’re back at Beauty Beach after Tribal, and the resident hot girl isn’t a happy camper. She shows she’s got some strategy chops by calling out Jeremiah in front of everyone. She asks why he flipped after being the one to come to her with the idea of an alliance.

Jeremiah says “ya know” about a dozen times in his response.

Morgan then approaches one of the cute girls (Alexis) and tells her that they targeted her because of Jeremiah’s maneuvering. Morgan’s doing a solid job of showing she’s not just a pretty face. Ya know?

The next morning, tree mail hints at a blindfold challenge. You can almost hear Mark Burnett giggling in the background.

The Brain-o’s show their smarty smartiness by doing a dress rehearsal.

J’Tia really hopes they can win some food because she’s feels responsible for them starving…for some reason.

Reward Challenge Time: Pairs of blindfolded players will wander out into the wilderness in the search of items. A caller on top of a tower will try to direct them. The first tribe to get all of their items and a tribe flag and hoist them up a tower will win hens and a rooster, the second tribe will win a dozen eggs, the third tribe gets nothing.

So, wait…this is like an immunity challenge, but the winner gets a prize? That’s unique.

Also, why not just have them try to catch the chickens while blindfolded?

Woo, Sarah, and Morgan will sit out.

Latasha, Alexis, and Cliff are the callers.

The challenge starts off and it is several shades of hilarious. LJ took so many shots to the groin. Like a whole episode of “AFV” worth.

Beauty manages to win this disaster. However the real drama happens when J’Tia takes forever to get her tribe’s flag up the tower and the Brawnies sneak in from behind to claim second.

Back at Casa de Lovely, the whole tribe uncovers the immunity idol clue. LJ breathes a sigh of relief, Morgan…not so much.

Later, Alexis is confused as to how chicken babies are made. They’re nice enough to explain it to her without prefacing it with “When a hen loves a rooster very much…”

Not to let the proceedings get too mushy, Jeremiah twists the head off of one of the chickens. Life, reproduction, and death all encapsulated in one segment. Go “Survivor.”

Over at Muscle Beach, Cliff tells Lindsey that he’s ready to get his blindside on. Sarah, having been told by Tony that Cliff is gunning for her, wants our favorite NBA player gone. She approaches Woo with this idea and he’s all for it. Apparently he thinks that one of the non-millionaires should win the million. Yeah, of course a non-millionaire would say that.

Later on, Tony tells us that he was lying about Cliff gunning for Sarah. Oh man.

Tree mail arrives and talks about “Sinking the Shot.” I bet the team with an NBA player does well.

Oh wait, the team with the NBA player on it is considering throwing the challenge. Sarah and Trish are for it, Woo seems like he’s on the fence.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will dive down into the ocean to retrieve five buoys. They’ll then shoot those buoys into a basket…basketball style. First two tribes to sink all five shots wins immunity.

Quick Aside: This is seriously a challenge on the season Cliff Robinson is on? Why not just have a home run derby for Jeff Kent?

Tony and Lindsey will sit for Brawn. Alexis will sit for Beauty.

The challenge starts off…and…J’Tia…is…bad at retrieving buoys. It isn’t a total disaster though, because Trish and Sarah are having mysterious problems retrieving their buoys as well.

The Beauties quickly get all of their buoys and are raining threes. They sink all five of the shots before the other tribes have even retrieved theirs. Very impressive.

Meanwhile, Spencer is single-handedly getting his tribe back into the challenge. The problem is, J’Tia can’t retrieve his rebounds after he misses a shot. J’Terrible.

It comes down to a shootout between Spencer and former NBA All-Star Cliff Robinson and…SPENCER WINS!

Yeah…no, Cliff totally won. But Spencer did a fantastic job.

Back at Smarty Central, Spencer is understandably frustrated. He’s the tribe’s only challenge competitor while J’Tia is like a person wearing roller skates and oven mitts.

Latasha and Kass are considering sending J’Tia home. But, for fear of J’Tia murdering them, decide not to clue her in.

That night at Tribal Council, J’Tia claims she did the best she could in the challenge and in high stress situations she usually rises to the top. Yeah, you rose to the top, you just didn’t have a buoy in your hands.

Latasha thinks J’Tia has been weak in most of the challenges.

Kass thinks the rice dumping was an emotional response, not a sign that J’Tia isn’t loyal. SHE DECIDED TO LET YOU STARVE.

Spencer says if he sticks around he’ll be solidly with the group.

Kass thinks people will be watching this Tribal and yell at her not to do something stupid. OK, that’s creepy. I was just doing that. What number am I thinking of Kass?

Voting Time: Spencer votes for J’Tia, J’Tia votes for Spencer, and the rest of the votes are secret.

J’Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for J’Tia, one vote for Spencer, one vote for J’Tia, and the fourth person to be voted out of “Survivor: Cagayan” is…J’Tia.

OK, would you have blamed Latasha and Kass if they’d covered their heads when J’Tia went for her torch?

Verdict: Challenge ineptitude, totally imploding an entire tribe, the rice incident…J’Tia’s got to go down as one of the worst “Survivor” players of all time, right? She might be a perfectly nice person, but this game is not for her.

But yeah, I’m really liking this season. Interesting characters, great challenges, good times.

Power Rankings Results: Ciera had J’Tia in spot fourteen, I had her in spot fifteen. So, the current score is Team Ciera 24, Team Gordon 27.

Who’s Going to Win? Looks like we’ve got a tribe swap coming up next week. Personally, I’m not a fan. The game is now wide open.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Power Rankings: Better-Late-Than-Never Edition

March 12, 2014

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. We’ll have Power Rankings with “Blood vs. Water” competitor Ciera Eastin, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”7054975368782091112″ program_type=”series”]

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Woo is voted out this week, Ciera will receive 6 points and Gordon will receive 7 points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Cagayan” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week’s Results: Ciera  had Brice in spot 10, Gordon had him in spot 12. So, the current score is Team Ciera 10, Team Gordon 12.

Ciera’s Score = 10

Any advice for Ciera? Drop her a line on Twitter: @cieraeastin

Gordon’s Score = 12

Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Tony – There ya go! Coming clean about being a police officer to Sarah was the right move, it gave you and her something to relate over AND something that means so much to Sarah that she swears on her badge to you. You’re planting seeds in peoples’ heads about not trusting others, making yourself seem so much more trustable, AND you have the hidden immunity idol!   1. LJ – He’s got an idol, he’s got the numbers, and he’s got an easy next target. He’s also good looking, he’s in great shape, and he’s on a tropical beach with Alexis… I hate my life.
 2. Sarah – Sarah is in a good spot. She seems to be holding her own in challenges and is fairly likable. Staying under Tony and letting him make the moves for a little while might be her best bet until she can get to the merge. Her biggest mistake could be trusting Tony too much though.
  2. Jeremiah – I’m pretty sure I knew what you were thinking when you were considering siding with Brice and Morgan. Either, you wanted to be in a dominant alliance of three instead of an alliance of two twos, or you wanted to stay on Morgan’s good side. I can see the merit in those two strategies (trust me). But, I think you made the right call. It’s simply too soon to make two serious enemies and alert the rest of the players that you’ve got some strategy chops.
 3. Latasha – You’re definitely the leader on the Brains tribe. And I’m liking you more and more. I’m normally all for girl power but in your case I think aligning with Spencer could be good for you. Your tribe looks to you when deciding who to vote for and that’s why you’re gonna be safe.
  3. Latasha – Alright, I’ve had a chance to rethink this J’Tia thing. She’s got to go. I know you can’t trust Spencer, but the last thing you want is to hit the merge being known as the person who let a rice tosser hang around. You’ve done J’Tia a solid, she got some extra days in the game. She might even get that Jeff Probst Patented Shoulder Massage for Rice Tossers on the way out. But, she is going to kill your credibility if you keep her for much longer.

 4. Jefra – Poor Jefra! That weather did not look fun, but I thought you did well this week. if she can continue building her relationship with Jeremiah and keeping her friendship with Alexis you will be in good spot. I would like to see a little more strategy to your game though, so far you don’t seem to be playing to win.   4. Alexis – Dodged her first bullet well. Trusted in her alliance and it paid off. Now she has to convince the guys that she’s more valuable then Jefra. I’d start planting the seeds that Jefra is too likable and might not be willing to slit throats when the time comes for it.

 5. Alexis – Same as Jefra only Alexis seems to be a third wheel, which is okay for now but come merge time could be bad. Alexis also needs to show more strategy.   5. Jefra – Jefra, darling…go watch “Survivor: Nicaragua,” then go watch “Survivor: One World.” Are you done? First of all, I’m sorry for subjecting you to that. Second of all, did you see the way people were making alliances within two seconds of reaching their beaches? That happens every season. You’re lucky you ended up on the right end of someone else’s strategy.
 6. Woo – Woo is the same as last week. Hasn’t done a whole lot but isn’t in any danger right now.
  6. Kassandra – OK, you guys survived a challenge, and you’ve avoided a Tribal Council. But is that best for you? Following the “Philippines” model, couldn’t it be better for you and Latasha to be the last two standing, get split up, then realign after the merge. Neither one of you would be viewed as a threat. Just something to think about.
 7. Trish – At this point it seems like whoever gets in with Sarah and Tony is going to be good for a while. Trish could be the one to do that, and would be smart to considering she seems to be the weakest on the Brawn tribe and needs numbers.
  7. Woo – I’m not big on preview reading, but Sarah approached Woo and said she wanted to throw a challenge to get rid of “him.” Now, the him could be Cliff or it could be Tony, but it’s definitely not Woo.
 8. Jeremiah – Jeremiah made the right move keeping Alexis over Brice. I think his relationship with Jefra is what’s going to get him to the merge. He pulled his weight around camp and in the challenges and is in with LJ and the girls. He has the numbers and should be good.  8. Lindsey – Again, mega uncertainty coming from the jocks this week. Lay low, Lindsey. This stuff always sorts itself out.
 9. LJ – You did find the hidden immunity idol this week and I think it’s awesome you didn’t let the weather stop you from bettering your position in this game. I think that Jefra, Jeremiah, and Alexis are closer than you think. And you being the oldest on your tribe definitely puts you on the outs. Since you do have the idol, and Morgan is still an easy vote out, I think you’re safe this week.   9. Trish – The good news for you is; apparently you’re not the low person on the Alpha Beta totem pole. This challenge throwing business might give you a chance to wiggle into the majority alliance.
 10. Spencer – Being the only guy on a tribe of women can be a blessing and a curse. The girls know they are really going to need you in some of the challenges and even around camp, therefore its not going to be easy to get rid of you.   10. Sarah – Wow, that’s quite a drop this week. You’re super perceptive, so you immediately know Tony is a cop. But then you can’t see through the lies he’s feeding you? And now you want to throw a challenge over it? I don’t hate the idea of challenge throwing as much as some people do, but this is a marathon, not a sprint.
 11. Cliff – The same as last week. Only he needs to distance himself from Lindsey and build a relationship with Cops R Us.  11. Cliff – It wouldn’t be a crime for Tony to have Sarah targeting Cliff when Cliff hasn’t done anything wrong. Nobody ever said “Survivor” was a fair game. I will say, if Cliff is voted out before we get a chance to watch him in a balancing immunity, that would be a crime.
 12. Kassandra – Kass I still think that you’re not in the best spot. You’re the weakest physically on the Brains, you don’t seem to be as close to Tasha as J’Tia, and Spencer seems to be smarter than you.  12. Tony – I’m a big fan of not lying unless you need to lie. And Tony’s telling some whoppers when he already seems safe with Sarah. Worst of all, Sarah seems like the type that would freak right out if she ever learned you were deceiving her. Keep that idol handy, buddy.
 13. Lindsey – Saying you wish you hadn’t put yourself in game of “Survivor”….would have easily been enough for me to vote you out. There are people who would die to be playing the game of “Survivor” rain or shine! Being lazy around camp, having Cops R Us after you, and comments like that are going to get you out of this game quick.  13. Morgan – You were kinda screwed before the game started, weren’t you? LJ didn’t trust you because you were hot, then he had time alone with the tribe to get them all on his side. Jeremiah isn’t going to do anything, Alexis and Jefra aren’t going to do anything. Morgan needs a merge.
 14. J’Tia – Pouring out 95% of your tribes rice and then trying to figure out how much rice you guys should cook for the day?! Wow. Some nerve this girl has or she’s just totally socially unaware. Either way she’s annoying people, she’s slightly crazy, and she does nothing for the Brains tribe in challenges. Should the Brains tribe lose she could easily be gone.  14. Spencer – I spoke with Brice last Thursday, and he told me that they had no idea that J’Tia had dumped her tribe’s rice. Maybe that’s Spencer’s play; threaten to spill the beans about J’Tia spilling the rice. (See what I did there?) Then Kass and Tasha would be more likely to get rid of her because nobody is going to trust a rice dumper and her alliance mates.
 15. Morgan – Morgan you need to start being a girls’ girl and quick!! Get those girls to see that they don’t want to be over powered by the guys and that their best move is to stick with a girls alliance, and if Morgan could do that she would not only be safe but she would be safe for at least a few weeks. If she cannot, she’s gone this week!  15. J’Tia – I feel bad picking on J’Tia. She actually seems very nice. Sometimes the stress of the game and the elements just gets to people. But, dumping rice has got to be like the “Survivor” scarlet letter. Imagine it’s the merge, and you’re Sarah, and you’re starving, and you hear that J’Tia had dumped her tribe’s rice and was now going to be a part of your tribe. How would that be acceptable?

Don’t miss “Survivor: Cagayan” this Wednesday, March 12, 2014 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes


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