‘Survivor: Worlds Apart’ Episode 9 Recap: Slide Rules

"Survivor: Worlds Apart" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Josh Canfield and Reed Kelly. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Last Week: The oil driller struck gold, the postal worker needed to work on his delivery, and the law student was asked to approach the bench.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog…

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Merica Tribe (wearing purple)
Carolyn – Corporate Executive, 52
Dan – Postal Worker, 47
Jenn – Sailing Instructor, 22
Joe – Jewelry Designer, 25
Mike – Oil Driller, 38
Rodney – General Contractor, 24
Shirin – Yahoo Executive, 31
Sierra – Barrel Racer, 27
Tyler – Ex-Talent Agent Assistant, 33
Will – YouTube Sensation, 41

Let’s do this.

We start off after Tribal and Dan and Shirin get into it immediately. He tries to explain to her the difference between a flip and a blindside. Did either of those things really happen at Tribal?

Shirin knows she has to make big moves. She starts off by telling everyone that she’s going to vote for Mike to win. Interesting…

Rodney did not like the sound of that. He doesn’t need friends. He has plenty of friends back home. And Joaquin is his friend and Joaquin is super handsome and understands him. What he needs is more zeroes in his bank account. You’ve gotta sell a lot of Jordans to make a million dollars.

Later on, Jenn hints that she’s thinking of quitting. No you’re not. Stop with the crazy talk.

The next day, Shirin approaches Mike and Sierra about working with them. Mike’s concern is that he doesn’t know if he can trust her. He asks who she wants out, and she says Carolyn because she has so many people on her side. Interesting part deux…

Mike decides to give her a trust test by telling Shirin who he wants her to vote for and seeing if she does it.

Reward Challenge Time: The tribe will be split into two teams of five. One by one they’ll have to maneuver around a  water-based obstacle course. Once all five players have reached the end, they’ll have to use a grappling hook to retrieve life preservers. The first team to collect all five of their preservers will win a visit to the “Chocolate Cafe” where they’ll enjoy M&Ms, Snickers, and more.

Yeah, sugar is not what I want after three weeks of starving.

We have a schoolyard pick for teams and end up with Mike, Tyler, Shirin, Dan, and Sierra on the blue team, and Rodney, Joe, Will, Carolyn, and Jenn on the red team.

There’s no way Will wasn’t the last pick, right?

The challenge starts and the wipeouts…are…epic. So good. Oh man…whoever puts together an edit of this challenge to “Wacky Sax” gets a free “Survivor” Hall of Fame shot glass.

Seriously, a floating balance beam? Who pissed off challenge producer John Kirhoffer?

When I finally stopped laughing, I realized that the red team had a big lead. They start the second portion of the challenge first.

However, the blues manage to catch up and Mike grapple hooks his way to victory for his team.

After the challenge, Jenn says that people who aren’t on “Survivor” have no idea what it’s like to lose a challenge. She’s got a point. I haven’t lost one in years.

At the “Chocolate Cafe,” the winners go to town on some candy. Throw in some peanut butter and Jenna Morasca’s head would explode.

Meanwhile back at camp, Rodney wants to eat one of the No Collars’ chickens. Jenn isn’t thrilled about this because they aren’t Rodney’s chickens. Rodney brushes it off, assuming that Jenn just misses Hali and doesn’t want to lose any more friends.

After the meal, Rodney busts out a really solid Mike impersonation. Joe sees this as an opportunity to stoke the Mike vs. Rodney fires.

Before the immunity challenge, Jenn tells Joe that she’ll give him the immunity necklace if she wins because she wants to go home. Jenn, no! No, Jenn!

Immunity Challenge Time: The players will stand on a beam and use their head to press a block of wood against another beam. The last person with their block in place wins immunity.

We start off and Joe is wobbling pretty badly.

Carolyn is out first. She’s followed by Will, Shirin, and Rodney.

Joe is a wreck, but he keeps going. (Although, that man bun seems like it’s cheating.)

Dan goes next, then Sierra…then Joe!

Aww…Joe.

We’re down to Jenn, Tyler, and Mike. However, Mike doesn’t last much longer.

At the thirty-minute mark, Jen’s block falls. Tyler wins immunity.

No fair, he’s a kicker! His toes are finely tuned.

As we head off to commercial, Jenn threatens to shake up the game so she can go home tonight. Ooo…like a Brandon-Hantz-level meltdown? Maybe she just wants a massage from Probst?

Back at camp, Shirin claims to have a loophole. She thinks the Blue Collar alliance will split the vote. But, if Joe and Shirin vote for Jenn, Joe will get to stick around.

Mike kind of anticipates this, and tells Shirin to vote for Joe. So, if she sticks with Mike, Joe goes. aAnd if she sticks with the No Collars, Jenn goes. It seems like it’d be more valuable to be on Mike’s good side than to have Joe around for another round.

In other news, Joe flexes his Runaround Bob skills and makes a fake idol. Of course! He’s a jeweler! It looks good too.

Later, Joe tells Mike that he’ll give him his fake idol if they vote out Jenn. Mike says he’ll do it if he gets the idol before Tribal. Mmm…why not just play the idol? It’d serve the same purpose.

That night at Tribal, Jenn says that she doesn’t want to be there, but she does want to be there. Wah-huh?

She then tells Rodney that he cracks her up. Don’t sleep on Rodney. Jenn and Hali both like him.

Probst asks why she doesn’t just walk out. She says that’s quitting and she’s not a quitter.

Joe is worried that someone might pull her along because she won’t win in the end.

Shirin understands Jenn, but she hasn’t fully connected with Joe. Also, she’s worried that they might want to keep Jenn over her because Jenn isn’t a threat.

Before we vote, Mike tries to get Probst to verify Joe’s idol. However, Probst can’t do that until he plays it. So, idol validation is like parking validation? You can’t do it until after the transaction?

Voting Time: Tyler votes for Jenn, Rodney votes for Joe, Joe votes for Jenn, and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst asks if anyone wants to play an idol and Mike plays the phony one for Will. Probst points out that it’s a fake. Oh man, Will’s in trouble…

We’ve got one vote for Jenn, one vote for Joe, one vote for Jenn, one vote for Joe, one vote for Dan, one vote for Jenn, one vote for Joe, one vote for Jenn, one vote for Joe, and the ninth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: Worlds Apart” and the second member of the jury is…Joe.

Verdict: OK…so Shirin sided with Mike. Got it.

Well that was the craziest, most roundabout way to get to the most obvious vote I’ve ever seen. Kudos to Joe and Shirin for constantly swinging and to Mike for not becoming complacent.

Who’s Going to Win? Well, with the way Jenn was talking this episode, I can’t see her winning. Mike’s a champ, but he’s got a huge target (and a huge tattoo) on his back. It seems like Carolyn is in the best spot, but we never hear from her.

Power Rankings Results: We all knew Joe was a goner so we all had him in spot ten. The current score is Team Josh 68, Team Reed 72, and Team Gordon 73.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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