“Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X” (CBS)
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Watch the Season Premiere of “Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X”
Last Week: Taylor and Figgy started an alliance based on infatuation, the Gen-Xers got an idol for participation, and Rachel’s puzzle problems led to her elimination.
39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor Blog…
Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…
The Vanua Tribe – Millennials (wearing orange)
Adam – 25, Homeless Shelter Manager
Figgy – 23, Bartender
Hannah – 24, Barista
Jay – 27, Real Estate Agent
Mari – 31, Professional Gamer
Michaela – 25, Vacation Club Sales
Michelle – 28, Missionary Recruiter
Taylor – 24, Ski Instructor
Will – 18, High School Student
Zeke – 28, Asset Manager
The Takali Tribe – Generation-X (wearing purple)
Bret – 42, Police Sergeant
Chris – 38, Trial Lawyer
CeCe – 39, Insurance Adjuster
David – 42, Television Writer
Jessica – 37, Assistant District Attorney
Ken – 33, Model
Lucy – 42, Dietician
Paul – 52, Boat Mechanic
Sunday – 45, Youth Pastor
We kick things off the morning after Tribal Council. Paul lets us know that CeCe is still in trouble for working with Rachel, while David is still on the chopping block for…well…being David.
However, David proves that he’s not all freakouts and frantic early alliances by starting a fire. Way to be, David!
Wow, Alecia’s reign as the least-likely-fire starter was short.
THEN…David manages to find an idol! Shut the front door. That might be the best opening segment any “Survivor” player has ever had ever. Ever…
Meanwhile, Kenny Amazing is off fishing. He catches a giant octopus and dubs it “Octopus Prime.” Hilarious. I’d also accept Bumblebee Tuna, StarfishScream, and MegaTrout.
As Ken and David tend to the delicious Transformer, the duo strikes up an alliance. Looks like Tai and Caleb have competition for most unlikely pairing. Later on, Ken brings CeCe on board as well.
Over at Millennial Station, Figgy and Taylor are sittin’ in a tree. T-A-L-K-I-N-G. He thinks she’s “rad.” That’s big talk, buddy. I waited till our sixth-month anniversary to call my wife “rad.”
Later that night, Michaela catches Figgy and Taylor giving each other the ol’ figure four liplock. She finds this gross because…you know…they haven’t brushed their teeth in five days.
Michaela blows up Taylor and Figgy’s spot the next day. (I used that slang right, right?) Everyone has a laugh about it. Figgy thinks nobody will care because Millennials are all carefree with their smooching. However, everyone is concerned that they’ll become a rad power couple.
The third prong of the triforce, Jay, is not thrilled with this development. Why? Because sometimes you have to stay at home with your girlfriend when your bros want to go bowling. I’m sure this applies to “Survivor” in some fashion.
Then, Michaela and Figgy get into it. It’s hard to put my finger on what set them off. But they’ve got beef. (Can I get a second slang ruling, please?)
In a bit of a scary moment, Doctor Joe is called in to the Gen-X camp when it seems like Paul is having a heart attack. Fortunately, it turns out to just be heat exhaustion and a bit of dehydration. After Kaoh Rong, let’s try to have a season without any medical evacuations, kay?
Immunity Challenge Time: One player from each tribe will dive into the water, climb up a net, then jump and grab a key. Once five keys have been retrieved, they will be used to release a swimming mask. The team will then use the mask to dive down and recover five rings. The first tribe to toss all five of their rings onto floating posts will win immunity and a tarp. No word on if it’s the same tarp they borrowed last week.
Hannah will sit out for the Millennials.
Survivor are ready, and they go. The key gathering portion is pretty even until David’s turn…oh David. He takes a loooong time and gives the Millennials a lead.
The hoop acquiring also gets off to a bad start for Gen-X as CeCe goes out for a ring and comes back empty handed. Fortunately, they’re able to recover and even things up.
In the final stage, CeCe and Kenny Amazing prove to be hoop tossin’ champs. They sink their shots and manage to secure the come-from-behind win for Gen-X.
Politcking back at Millennial beach starts out with the numbers firmly in the break-up-the-power-couple camp. But, Jay and Michelle want to keep their numbers and set out to target Mari.
Jay tells Figgy and Michaela that Zeke wants to vote them both out. Apparently this is enough to get the feuding females to discuss working together.
Michelle approaches Will next, but Will is worried that Figgy can go a long way like Parvati and Cochran. Not the first two people I’d compare Figgy too, but whatevs.
That night at Tribal Council, fire still represents life. Maybe Jeff should just have a sign made for Tribal like those “Don’t Pee In Our Ool” signs people have by their pools.
Immediately, Adam is thrilled to be at Tribal because he’s a hardcore fan. It is awesome.
Mari thinks “Survivor” is different than a video game because you’re playing with real people.
Fun Fact: There have been a few “Survivor” video game. They are all terrible.
Michaela believes the game can bring out the worst in people.
Hannah points out that Taylor and Figgy like to cuddle, but it’s cool because they’re both pretty. Don’t let her catch ugly people cuddling.
Apparently this is referred to as “macking in the shack.” Gen-X calls it “Gimme Shelter.”
During this conversation, Michelle leans over to Hannah and whispers to her that she’s voting for Mari. Hannah literally looks like Michelle just whispered “your puppy just died.”
Hannah wants to know why she should vote for Mari but Michelle won’t tell her until later. Hannah checks with Jay to make sure he’s voting for Mari too.
Probst catches the whispering and tries to get to the bottom of it. However, they don’t give anything up. This is so weird. It’s like Jeff should give them detention.
Everyone wants to know what’s up, but Mari thinks it’s just “Hannah being Hannah.”
Voting Time: Zeke votes for Figgy, Figgy votes for Mari, and Hannah takes a month to write her vote. It’s hilarious. You can actually see Jeff leaning into the shot to make sure that she’s still there.
JPro tallies and returns. We’ve got one for Figgy, one for Mari, one for Figgy, one for Mari, one for Figgy, three for Mari, and the second person voted out of “Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X” is…Mari.
Verdict: So typical of Millennials, couldn’t wait for the drama…had to wrench it up now. Seriously, I’ve never seen a Tribal with a conversation like that. It was awesome. This season is off to a hot start.
Power Rankings Results: Michele Fitzgerald had Mari in spot five, while Shirin Oskooi had her in spot seven. So, the current score is Team Fitzgerald 5, Team Oskooi 7.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
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