QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Bradley Kleihege, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.
Last Week: For the first time ever, a season premiere ended with someone being boat-ed out instead of voted out. Poor, Pat.
39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Let’s take a look at these tribes as they currently stand…
The David Tribe (wearing orange)
Bi, 28 – MMA Fighter
Carl, 41 – Truck Driver
Christian, 32 – Robotics Scientist
Davie, 30 – Social Media Manager
Elizabeth, 31 – Kitchen Staff
Gabby, 25 – Technical Writer
Jessica, 19 – Waitress
Lyrsa, 35 – Flight Attendant
Nick, 27 – Public Defender
The Goliath Tribe (wearing purple)
Alec, 24 – Bartender
Alison, 28 – Physician
Angelina, 28 – Financial Consultant
Dan, 27 – S.W.A.T. Officer
Jeremy, 40 – Attorney
John, 38 – Pro Wrestler
Kara, 30 – Realtor
Mike, 47 – Filmmaker
Natalia, 25 – Industrial Engineer
Natalie, 56 – Publishing CEO
Weather Woes
Both tribes are getting absolutely hammered by crazy rain. The Davids in particular are in a bad place without Pat the morale-booster. At this point they might even have to come up with their own “Pregnant Nun” jokes.
The “Survivor” gods show some some uncharacteristic mercy by gifting both tribes a fire-making kit. I can already hear the classic “Survivor” players screaming at their TVs.
Power Coupling
The Goliaths are starting to whisper about Kara and Dan’s showmance with the popular opinion being that he’s soooper into her, but she’s just playing him. I mean, he named his dog after her before he even knew she existed! Stalker…
At any rate, this is a very real cause for concern for Kara. She tries to smooth things over with the others and finds herself in an odd three-way alliance with two other women who each seem to be controlling a man; Natalia (with Alec) and Angelina (with John.)
Line in the Sand
Christian decides to throw Nick a lifeline and partner up with him. Nick loves this because he was going to go home if Pat’s accident hadn’t happened. He then compares the new duo to Tocantins BFFs JT and Stephen.
Hmm…yeah…JT was a country boy, but he was also a super charismatic challenge god. Win a challenge first, Nick.
Since Nick is from Kentucky and Christian is from Maryland, they go with the nickname “Team Mason Dixon.”
Fun Fact: I went to Space Camp with a kid named Mason Dixon.
Immunity I-dolt
Dan has been hiding his idol in his jacket, even though Kara advises him against it. She encourages him to bury it. You know, like everyone does…ever.
Sure enough…Jeremy finds it. (Face palm gif.)
Immunity I-con
My new favorite person Davie manages to locate the David immunity necklace. How is it not shaped like a sling?
I’m thinking of referring to Davie as “Bae-vie” from now on. And all of us are in his “Bae-liance.” Thoughts?
Natalie vs. Goliaths
Natalie is not pleased with the shape of the shelter…but she doesn’t do anything about it, she just tells everyone else to do it.
Aaaaaand…she doesn’t seem to understand why they would target an older woman first. Oh goodness. I don’t know what to say except…WATCH….LITERALLY…THE FIRST EPISODE OF THIS SHOW EVER.
She claims that her plan is to play under the radar, but she’s pissing everyone off. Everyone, that is, except for John. He likes the idea of them working together because nobody would expect it.
Jeremy tries to give her some advice, but she barely lets him talk. It was rough.
Immunity Challenge Time: One player from each team will have to create a ladder using only two rungs and climb to the top of a tower. They’ll release a key that will be used to unlock a boat. The team will then row out to retrieve puzzle pieces. The first team to complete the puzzle (which is on a teetering platform that must be held up using ropes) will win immunity and fishing gear.
Sitting Out: Natalie
Quick Aside: Holy cow, this balance puzzle looks hard.
Result: Bi took a looooong time doing the ladder portion, but the puzzle took over an hour, so what does it matter? Oh, and the Goliaths won.
Pre-Tribal Politicking
It seems like a pretty clear decision with almost everyone targeting Lyrsa…but Gabby’s paranoia seems to be getting the best of her. When Elizabeth makes a move to target Jessica, Gabby jumps at it.
This puts Christian and Nick in the swing position. Dun dun dun…
Tribal Time
The Davids claim that the weather has brought them together, but Lyrsa knows she’s on the chopping block.
Jessica thinks you shouldn’t wait until the first Tribal to start making moves. Well, she’s not wrong.
The rest is non-committal blah blah blah.
Voting Time: Jessica votes for Lyrsa, Lyrsa votes for Jessica, Davie votes for Lyrsa, and the rest of the votes are secret.
JPro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Lyrsa, one vote for Jessica, one vote for Lyrsa, one vote for Jessica, two votes for Lyrsa, two votes for Jessica, and the second person eliminated from “Survivor: David vs. Goliath” is…Jessica.
Verdict: Much better this week with the focus on the personalities and not what makes someone a David or a Goliath.
Power Rankings Results: Bradley Kleihege had Jessica in spot thirteen. I had her in spot eight. So, the current score is Team Bradley 13, Team Gordon 8.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes