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WWE’s Shawn Michaels on Brock Lesnar: ‘I’m Not Afraid to Take a Cheap Shot’

April 6, 2013

Triple H and Shawn Michaels (WWE)

Quick Note: Wrestlemania season is heating up and XFINITY has you covered! We’re going to have interviews and insights from top WWE Superstars, on-location tidbits from Wrestlemania weekend, and more. Order Wrestlemania here. And be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute details.

When it comes to nicknames, the only person who can hold a candle to Rocky Balboa’s buddy Apollo Creed is WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels. “The Headliner,” “The Showstopper,” “The Main Event,” and “The Icon that Can Still Go” have all been tossed around over the years, but the most important one has to be one he earned by having the best matches on the industry’s biggest stage…“Mr. Wrestlemania.”

The now-retired Michaels finds himself taking center stage at Wrestlemania once again as he’s scheduled to have his buddy Triple H’s back as he seeks revenge against the monster Brock Lesnar.

I spoke to the “Heartbreak Kid” the day before Wrestlemania XXIX and asked about his role in the big show, his pick for the evening’s sleeper hit, and his place in the history of the Undertaker’s streak…

Gordon Holmes: So, I understand this is a pretty big weekend for you guys.
Shawn Michaels: I guess if they’re grossing $150 million, then that qualifies as a big event.
Holmes: That’s not too shabby.
Michaels: (Laughs) Not too bad at all.
Holmes: $150 million comes with quite a bit of pressure to deliver. What are you and Triple H doing to prepare?
Micheals: He and I, we were just talking last night to one o’clock in the morning, just talking and chatting. And one of the things that we’ve always done with each other is we’re able to keep each other loose. We’ll spend a little time talking some serious stuff, but when you’ve got a big, heavy burden on yourself like he does, I think the best thing I can do as his buddy is to try to keep it light. There are enough people around him that make him painfully aware of all of the big, heavy, dramatic things going on in his life. We give each other a welcome time away from all of the serious issues.

Holmes: I watched your Hall of Fame induction to prep for this, and Hunter was really giving it to you. It was almost like a roast. If you get to do the honors for him, there’s got to be some kind of payback coming, right?
Michaels: (Laughs) More than likely, but I’m not nearly as funny as he is. And I have to tell you, he’s been doing that for years, in the car, in the dressing room. That’s one of the reasons I’ve hung around with him for so long. He makes me laugh. I’ve got a 20-plus year relationship with Kevin Nash because the guy makes me laugh. I’ve been married to my wife for fourteen years because she makes me laugh. (Laughs) I have a tendency to gravitate to people with great senses of humor. And Hunter has a wonderful time at my expense. And I’d love to take offense to it, but it’s just so darn funny. If I’m fortunate enough to induct him, I’m sure there will be quite a bit of humor and some serious stuff…which he won’t like. He’s more reserved than I am, he doesn’t put his feelings out there. That’s how I’ll embarrass him by showing that there is that side of him.

Holmes: At Wrestlemania Hunter’s in a match with Brock Lesnar. As you’re well aware, Brock Lesnar is built like a house. Now, I’m no master strategist, but this is a No DQ match. Why doesn’t DX just reunite and take this guy out?
Michaels: (Laughs) That’s sort of always on reserve. That could be a game plan. If Brock’s still breathing, that’s not good for anyone. I’m not looking forward to him getting a hold of me. And Hunter is a prideful dude, I think there’s a part of him that it would bother him if he couldn’t run with the guy one-on-one. That being said, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to stick my nose in there. That’s what I’m there for. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not afraid to take a cheap shot.
Holmes: (Laughs) A cheap kick.
Michaels: Yeah. It’s Wrestlemania.
Holmes: And if Paul Heyman doesn’t mind his own business…
Michaels: Yeah, I can take him for sure.  (Laughs)

Holmes: Speaking of Paul Heyman, he did an impersonation of the recently deceased Paul Bearer this past Monday. I’d imagine you and Paul Bearer knew each other well as you were both a part of the WWE for so long. Some people take offense to Heyman’s impersonation; others say Bearer would’ve loved it. What’s your take?
Michaels: Well, I can only give my perspective of Paul and how much he loved and cared for the business. Whatever offends someone, that’s in the eye of the beholder. There are people who put pictures of Jesus in urine and that’s art. Obviously that’s offensive to me, but to other people it’s art. I don’t think Paul would’ve been offended, I think he’d be honored to do anything to further the business or a storyline. Certainly, the Paul Bearer that I knew had nothing but the utmost love and respect for the WWE. He’d be honored to know that after his passing that he was a big part of a Wrestlemania match.

Holmes: I’m a big believer that a title is only as important as the people who are chasing it. You had a big hand in making the Undertaker’s streak the major deal that it is now.
Michaels: Yeah, but I think the streak was really an entity of it’s own before I ran across him. It turned into something that became an event in and of itself. Almost on the same level as a championship. That was done by Wrestlemania, the WWE, and the Undertaker. I can’t take any credit. It was more important to me to go out there with a buddy of mine and do something that people will remember for a long time.

Holmes: The legends really seem to get behind CM Punk. They see some old-school traits in him. Is he someone you enjoy?
Michaels: Yeah, he’s also a young man I enjoy talking to. The term “old school” gets tossed around so much that it’s amusing. I think he’s a young man that has a ton of drive and an opinion. And because so many people are used to towing the line and the narrative of the day, that when someone gives their opinion honestly, that that’s some kind of awe-inspiring thing. (Laughs) So, for those of us that give our opinions on a regular basis, we appreciate it.
Holmes: As a member of the media who gets a lot of canned answers, I certainly appreciate it.

Holmes: We’ve got the Rock squaring off against John Cena in the main event for the WWE Championship. What’s your take on that match?
Michaels: I’m hoping they’re going to go wild and give a clinic. I look at this card and the Undertaker/Punk match, there’s a personal thing there. With Brock and Triple H you’re looking at a fight. So there’s two matches that can really be something special. But the Rock and John Cena, they really can do something more than just a marketing, merchandising, materialistic match. They can have a ton of substance. I’ll be honest, I have no clue what it is they’re doing. But I would love to see a phenomenal match. It doesn’t have to be technical, but I’d like it to be artistic. And I think those two can do that. The stage is set for these guys to rip the house down.

Holmes: We’ve got a stacked card on top. What’s your pick for an under card sleeper?
Michaels: I think the sleeper of the night is going to be Jericho and Fandango. That’s one I’m looking forward to seeing. I know Chris is a hustler, he’s a hard worker. I think when you put him in a situation like this where people have maybe forgotten about it, I think that’s when Chris is at his best. This Fandango kid coming in, his first match at Wrestlemania, they’re both going to work very hard.
Holmes: Fandango’s intensity on Monday was pretty impressive. That seems to be missing from a lot of today’s guys.
Michaels: Yeah, I have not seen a lot of him, I’ve heard a lot. But I’m going to sit down and watch that one. For Jericho, it’s what he’s used to doing. For Fandango, it’s a make-or-break sort of match. You can come in and really get a ton of focus on you in a good way or a bad way.

Holmes: We’ve got three really solid main events, but only two of the six talents are full-time WWE Superstars. I spoke with Dolph Ziggler and he expressed some frustration with this. I was reminded of Wrestlemania XI when you and Kevin Nash had to take a backseat to Laurence Taylor. What advice would you give to the younger guys who find themselves in situations like this?
Michaels: I went through it. We went through Wrestlemania IX and Wrestlemania XI. Maybe from a match standpoint we weren’t taking a backseat, but whatever their stories were got a lot more focus. It’s one of those things that does happen. You get angry at it, but at the end of the day Hogan helped. Laurence Taylor helped. All of those things added to the Pay Per View. There are probably seven guys on this Wrestlemania card that weren’t even a part of the company last year. So, the idea that they’re not integrating new guys? Those guys are new, they weren’t here. From that standpoint the other talent is getting a chance. And if Rock and Brock weren’t on the card, would you rather wrestle in front of 700,000 Pay Per View buys instead of 1.3 million?
Holmes: Good point.
Michaels: So, I understand their frustration because I went through it. When I was their age I thought it stunk too. I used to say, “Get those guys out of here.” When they get to be my age they’ll look back and think, “OK, I get it.” They ought to use it, which I’m sure they do, as motivation. And at the same time, do their best to take advantage. Fandango, The Shield, these guys can make an impression in front of 1.3 million Pay Per View buys. You have to transition from old to new, and it’s never a transition that goes fast enough for the younger guys. And I am very understanding and sympathetic. I was there, but it’s the reality of the way this business is…and honestly a lot of businesses are. If Michael Jordan wanted to come back right now, they’d be throwing money at him.
Holmes: And if Shawn Michaels wanted to come back right now?
Michaels: (Laughs) If Shawn Micheals wanted to come back right now they’d be throwing money at him. I can promise you. And they’d be right to. I could go out there tomorrow with Dolph Ziggler and give him the best match he ever had.
Holmes: I need to have a follow-up with Dolph when he comes back from his sitcom to work the main event of Wrestlemania 40.
Michaels: Dolph’s going to turn into one of those guys, CM Punk is going to be one of those guys. It’s not going to be a question of if they can draw money, they’ll just know that they do. And that’s growing. And they’re coming along. But like I said earlier, it’s not going to happen fast enough for them.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Don’t miss WWE Wrestlemania, Sunday April 7, 2013 at 7 pm ET on Pay Per View.

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WWE Superstar Dolph Ziggler Breaks Down Wrestlemania’s Top Matches

April 4, 2013

Dolph Ziggler (WWE)

Quick Note: Wrestlemania season is heating up and XFINITY has you covered! We’re going to have interviews and insights from top WWE Superstars, on-location tidbits from Wrestlemania weekend, and more. Order Wrestlemania here. And be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute details.

There isn’t a physical “Road to Wrestlemania.” But if there was, the next sign would read “This Exit: MetLife Stadium.”

With the industry’s biggest show just a few short days away, I had a chance to chat with Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler, to get his thoughts on the evening’s top matches…

Gordon Holmes: Alright, let’s start this off with the most important match; Zig-E and Big E vs. Team Hell No for the WWE Tag Team Titles…
Dolph Ziggler: You’re really trying to get that to catch on. (Laughs)
Holmes: I’m still trying to make “fetch” happen. Now, whenever I see one of my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriends, they tend to be smarter and better looking than me and I get depressed. Is it weird to face off against two of AJ’s exes in Kane and Daniel Bryan?
Ziggler: It’s only weird if you make it weird. But me, realizing that I’m pretty much the trophy that I am compared to a little garden gnome guy and a deranged monster, either way I think I have the upper hand here. Those guys are really good performers, but I’m known for being one of the best. And when it comes down to that Wrestlemania match, I won’t be thinking if it’s uncomfortable, I’m going to be thinking about doing whatever I can to steal the show and show off to AJ that she made the right choice.
Holmes: Have you had any conversations with Big E about the difference between Wrestlemania and smaller events? Any concerns about nerves?
Ziggler: Of course there is, and honestly even for me, I’ve been around and been at Wrestlemanias and been in front of 70,000 people, it’s not something you can prepare for. The last couple of weekends I’ve been sitting him down and having some good talks with him. This is a big deal just to be on this card. There are a lot of deserving Superstars who aren’t going to be on this Wrestlemania. I feel like I should always be in the main event, but I am excited and happy to be in a match. Just to be there is a big step. Now I have to get it into his head that you don’t want to freeze up, you don’t want to freak out. It all comes down to having me as a mentor for him, and he’s been listening.  I think he’s going to be great out there.

Holmes: What is your take on The Rock vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship?
Ziggler: I hope all the fans boo them out of the freaking building.
Holmes: (Laughs)
Ziggler: I don’t want the cheers and the boos. I hope it’s 90% boos letting them know that this “Once in a Lifetime” match is happening again and that I or someone else should be the main event. But, that’s the great thing about the WWE Universe. They get to voice their opinions, they get to show their signs. And whether they like something or hate it, you’re going to hear about it. I’m excited to hear it.
Holmes: So when the “We want Ziggler” chant breaks out, it’s not going to break your heart.
Ziggler: No, I’m used to it. Especially in New York.
Holmes: What’s your take on the new championship belt design?
Ziggler: I think it’s pretty cool. For a long time people wanted to get rid of that Cena-recognized belt. As a championship I think it looks pretty cool. Like I try to do myself, I think it mixes a little bit of old school with a little bit of shiny bling. It gives you the best of both worlds.
Holmes: Have you had any interactions with The Rock since he’s been back?
Ziggler: We’ve had a couple of quick talks here and there. He’s usually pretty busy just like all of us when he gets here. He’s been pretty cool about everything. And it was pretty neat, he told me he liked my work which is a pretty cool deal because you know he’s watching the shows when he’s traveling. Like I said, having him back, it makes me a little mad. But, I love the business sense of it, having him come back and getting the crowd behind him. When he’s promoting movies, we’re holding down the fort, waiting for him to come back.

Holmes: Triple H is putting his career on the line against Brock Lesnar in a career-ending match. Who do you like there?
Ziggler: I don’t know. Brock is a legitimate UFC guy who has beaten the crap out of some pretty tough fighters and I think Triple H was lucky to get out of it alive last time. But, Triple H is obviously motivated, his career is on the line and that’s a huge deal. But, he’s also an office guy, so he always has that as a backup. I don’t know if Brock has any other plans but to go out there and destroy opponents. I’m assuming Brock will come out on top of this one.

Holmes: Undertaker vs. CM Punk…does the streak continue or does Punk prove he’s the “best in the world”?
Ziggler: You know what? That streak is one of the biggest, majestic pieces of what makes Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania. Every year you start to question it, and as we get closer to the match you think maybe this new guy, this young kid, is he angry enough, is he going to be the one to break the streak? And you never know if it’s going to go to 30-0 or end at 20-1. That’s the awesome intrigue and that’s one of the matches I’m looking forward to watching. If CM Punk were to win, that’s bigger history than anything else that happens on that entire card.
Holmes: Is that how it’s viewed now? The streak is more important than the championships?
Ziggler: Yeah. Honestly, it’s such a staple of the Wrestlemania Pay Per View. It’s such a big deal that I wonder if you were to ask someone like me, “Do you want to face Cena for the title or take a crack at the streak?” I might lean toward the streak because Cena’s been champ a bunch of times, Punk held it for over a year, but that’s twenty one years there. It’s such a big deal that it’s bigger than the championship in some sense. To me it would be.

Holmes: This match might have your attention; Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Ziggler: I could care less, I hope they beat the crap out of each other and whoever is left gets laid out by the other one. I’ll be walking down the aisle and stealing the show with my cash in.
Holmes: I thought that was going to be a big secret, I was going to try to get you to confess that that was your plan. They knock each other cold, then cue Ziggler’s music.
Ziggler: You know, I’ve seen it before where it wasn’t exactly quite how I wanted it yet, so I can’t guarantee that’s going to happen. Cause when I cash this in, I’m not cashing it in to maybe win. It’s going to happen. So, somebody has to be out pretty cold for me to get back in there.
Holmes: Clearly you’re leaving Wrestlemania with two belts. And some guys will wear one around their waist and have the other over their shoulder, or both over their shoulders. Have you given much thought as to how you’re going to do it?
Ziggler: I honestly haven’t. Sometimes I’m old-school tradition. I like when the champion wears the title around his waist, so maybe both around the waist. But, I’d really hate to cover up these abs for all the girls that watch the show for me.
Holmes: I don’t have that problem, so I never would’ve thought of that. What if you snapped them behind your neck and wore them draped over your shoulders like a boxer would?
Ziggler: Oh…that’s very interesting. How about one facing the front, one facing back, I do my entrance facing out. That might work too.
Holmes: The clock is ticking, you need to figure this out and fast.
Ziggler: It’s not on the top of my list, but I’ll give it some consideration.
Holmes: I don’t mean to stress you out.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Don’t miss WWE Wrestlemania, Sunday April 7, 2013 at 7 pm ET on Pay Per View.

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Corinne Kaplan: Phillip ‘Has an Extremely Low I.Q.’

April 4, 2013

'Survivor: Caramoan' (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Michael Skupin. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6680657917899399112″ program_type=”series”]

I am freakishly good at “Survivor.”

From the comfort of my couch I know exactly what I’ll do, who I’ll align with, which challenges I’ll win, and everything else on the path to a sweet million-dollar check. I think smiling and nodding while Phillip goes about his antics would be an easy price to pay for a place in the dominant alliance.

But like many things in life, it’s easier said than done.

Corinne Kaplan learned the hard way that putting up with Mr. Sheppard’s whims on a twenty-four hour basis is much harder than sitting on my couch. I spoke to her the morning after her elimination and asked about trusting Dawn, liking Brandon, and tolerating Phillip…

Gordon Holmes: My girl got voted out last night.
Corinne Kaplan: (Laughs) I know.
Holmes: Anger.
Kaplan: Tell me about it.
Holmes: So, it seemed like a total blindside. Is that accurate?
Kaplan: Yeah, I definitely knew something was up at Tribal because you get a feeling that something’s not right. That’s why I gave that Mike Tyson quote because I wanted to make it known that I understand that it’s possible that I was going home.
Holmes: When Phillip was talking about splitting the vote, was that a better opportunity to make something happen? He thinks he has four for Reynold and four for Eddie when in reality you could have had five for Phillip.
Kaplan: Here’s the problem; my little alliance of Malcolm, Eddie, Reynold, and Michael, none of them are actually playing the game at that point. Nobody’s talking to anyone. I’m having to deal with everyone else. Dawn’s coming to me with her problems, Cochran’s coming to me with his problems. At first they wanted Michael out and you know how I feel about Micheal. That wasn’t happening.
Holmes: Wait, how do you feel about Michael?
Kaplan: (Laughs) Worship him.
Holmes: Got it.
Kaplan: So then they decide to take out one of the big guys, Reynold or Eddie. So, one of them will have to play the idol. And, it’s not so easy when they want to split the votes and you have to talk to people who aren’t that accessible to you to reorganize everybody. And I really thought we needed the idol. But I thought I could make a decent case for Sherri and that way we’d have two idols. Reynold had told me he had the idol. I guess it’s getting greedy, but I pitched the Sherri story. And I was aware that it was possible that we’d have to split the votes, which is hard. You’ve got to get people alone. You’ve got to explain what’s going on. It’s complicated.

Holmes: I’ve interviewed Phillip a few times and I get that he’s an interesting fellow. As I’m watching the show I’m thinking if you play along with his nicknames and his eccentricities that you’d have the perfect person to take to the end of the game. What happened to you two where you couldn’t put up with the Dominatrix business anymore?
Kaplan: Here’s the problem; I was putting up with his (expletive deleted) for a long time. I did go along with the stupid names and the organization. But, he got a little too much bravado and he’d make decisions. He has an extremely low IQ as you can tell by him mispronouncing every word over five letters long. And he started commanding us to do what he wanted us to do. It’s fine when he’s a crazy person in the corner, and he’s in his pink panties and he’s giving people’s names. But when he starts calling shots it’s hard. He’s very difficult to reel in. He starts affecting your gameplay, so he’s not an easy person to take along. He’s making decisions and they’re horrible ones.

Holmes: The last two weeks we’ve learned that the best three ways to spread secrets are telephone, telegraph, tell-a-Dawn.
Kaplan: (Laughs)
Holmes: Buh-dum-dum. Did you not know until last night that she was the one who outted you?
Kaplan: I had an idea. I have to tell you, Malcolm was my alliance because I loved him from the beginning, but Dawn was my very best friend. When I say that I spent every minute with Dawn, I did. We were extremely close. My family and friends were all like “Why?! Why?!”
Holmes: (Laughs)
Kaplan: But I was in an alliance with Dawn. And you saw it where she cries a lot. I love her, but she’s not terribly stable as a person. She’s constantly insecure with her position. She started to freak out. She talks to me all the time. She talks to Cochran, but not as much, which is why I didn’t know they were as close as they were. When she was upset I was the one that talked her down. I was trying to talk her off a ledge, and I said, “Look, worst case scenario we can always flip.” And it was always “We.” I’m not doing anything without her. I said, “Here are some options.” And she doesn’t like Phillip either. And when I’m telling her this story, I was saying hypothetically. Cochran burned her her first season, so I’m thinking she’s not going to trust Cochran over me. And if I have no other redeeming qualities, the one thing I am is loyal. I felt like it was safe to talk to her, I thought it’d make her feel better. And I didn’t feel like Malcolm had Erik on lock, because clearly he didn’t. And without Erik, I thought we needed Dawn. I wasn’t playing for Tribal, I was playing for the long game. I had no idea Dawn would sell me out. It was hard mentally for me to take, and I’m a very strong person mentally. I don’t get attached to a lot of people, but I was really attached to Dawn. She really was my best friend.

Holmes: I wanted to get your take on Brandon’s meltdown. We’ve heard from him, we’ve heard from fans, but you’re the first favorite I’ve had a chance to talk to.
Kaplan: Apparently Brandon doesn’t like me, but I liked Brandon. If I was younger, maybe not as mentally there, I would have had the same meltdown. Phillip was driving me just as crazy. I’m smarter about the way I handled it, but I sympathize with Brandon. But, he’s got the Hantz in him, so he doesn’t want to just be voted out. And mind you, if our whole team was intact, we would have beaten them in that challenge. Nobody would’ve gone home, then they would’ve shuffled the tribes. So, when the meltdown happened, I was the closest person to him when he started spilling the rice. I’m seeing him do this and in my head, I thought once you destroyed the camp you get out of the game, you’ve screwed your whole game up. I never felt physically threatened and I think it’s embarrassing for Phillip, he said he slept with one eye open, it wasn’t like that at all. Brandon’s a sweet kid. He actually cries a lot. It wasn’t nearly as dangerous as they’re making it seem.

Holmes: After Gabon you set the bar for the word association. Let’s see how you do this time. We’ll start with some dude named Malcolm.
Kaplan: Aww…adoration. I love him. He’s like a little brother to me.
Holmes: Would you love him more if he was gay?
Kaplan: Of course. That’s the sprinkles on the sundae.
Holmes: So there’s a likability ceiling for heterosexuals, but homosexuals know no bounds.
Kaplan: Yes!
Holmes: Dawn?
Kaplan: Fraudulent.
Holmes: Cochran?
Kaplan: I thought he was gay for a while there. Apparently he’s not. He’s a weasel.
Holmes: Eddie?
Kaplan: Always the pretty ones who are dumb. I love Eddie, too.
Holmes: Reynold?
Kaplan: He’s like a Disney prince.
Holmes: Sherri?
Kaplan: Oh…I have nothing in common with her. Annoying?
Holmes: Brenda?
Kaplan: Who?
Holmes: Touche. Erik?
Kaplan: Vacant…useless.
Holmes: Some guy named Michael?
Kaplan: (Laughs) My savior.
Holmes: Phillip?
Kaplan: I say this to my friends all the time, and I hope this isn’t too harsh, but I call him the living miscarriage. He shouldn’t have been born.
Holmes: We’ll finish with Andrea.
Kaplan: Insecure.

Holmes: When I said, “Sherri,” you dropped. I have no read on her. Can you help me out there?
Kaplan: All I know about Sherri is she is very annoying. She never stops talking. Kind of like Susie (Smith) from my season.  And I knew she was an uber fan because she named her kid Colby after Colby (Donaldson). But, when watching the show back it looks like she’s strategizing and making moves. She’s talking so much all the time, we used to fight over who gets to sleep next to her, because you want to sleep but she doesn’t shut up. Eddie and Reynold hate her. As soon as we got out there they were like, “She’s the worst! Thirty minutes into this merge you will hate her as much as we do.”

Holmes: Last night Probst said, “the ninth person voted out…” and I’m saying “and…and?!”
Kaplan: I looked up at him and said, “Am I not on the jury?” And he said, “No.” And that’s when I started to really spin out. The whole time I just wanted to make the jury, and that is embarrassing. It just sucked.
Holmes: Agreed.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Caramoan’ Episode Recap: My Favorite Mistake

April 3, 2013

'Survivor: Caramoan' (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Michael Skupin. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6680657917899399112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: Gota kept stomping challenges like a caffeine-fueled Godzilla, Phillip and Corinne’s disagreement was becoming an alliance killa, and Baskin Robbins is down to 30 flavors because Bikal finished off vanilla.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Bikal Tribe (wearing purple)
Cochran – Harvard Law Student, 25
Corinne – Pharmaceutical Sales, 33
Dawn – English Professor/Power Rankings Champ, 42
Michael – Event Planner, 44
Phillip – Chief Executive Officer of Enter Software Sales, 54

The Gota Tribe (wearing orange)
Andrea – Entertainment Host and Writer, 23
Brenda – Paddleboard Company Owner, 30
Eddie – Firefighter/EMT, 23
Erik – Comic Book Artist, 27
Malcolm – Bartender, 25
Reynold – Sales, 30
Sherri – Fast Food Franchisee, 41

The post-Tribal festivities kick off with everyone congratulating Michael for getting to stick around. Well, that’s unique. Congrats on being the dude we decided to vote off last.

Corinne, however, is ecstatic that she gets to keep her new BFF. I find it endearing that she can’t talk about him without mentioning how much she loves his homosexuality.

Phillip pulls Dawn and Corinne aside to let them know that he threw last episode’s challenge. However, Dawn and Corinne don’t believe him because they have functioning brains in their heads.

He then claims that he made the call to throw the challenge during the actual challenge. I love that. It reminds me of when people used to ask “Macho Man” Randy Savage if wrestling was fake. He’d say something along the lines of, “When I win it’s real and when I lose I’m taking a dive.”

Quick Aside: If you hate this recap, it’s because I wanted you to.

The next morning, Dawn is a little worried because her game fell apart the last time there was a merge. This is totally different, Dawn. In “South Pacific” you were in an alliance with Cochran…oh wait…

Over at Gota beach a big ol’ boat shows up with a note and a key. The note says to gather all their business because they’re going on a trip to Mergeville: Population 12.

The boat takes the Gotians to Bikalia. The new tribe ponders their tribe name during the merge feast and comes up with “Enil Edam” which supposedly means “new beginning.” Malcolm lets us know that that’s a fib, it’s actually his mom’s name backwards.

Oh man, dude loves his mom. No wonder Twitter is all goofy for him.

Quick Aside: As terrible as the tribe’s name is, the flag looks amazing. Kudos to Erik and his painting skills. My question? What’s with Michael signing it in the middle of the mural? I’d vote him out right there.

Later, Phillip pulls Andrea aside to let her know what time it is. He wants Corinne gone soon because he thinks she’ll side with the fans. All the fans aren’t gay, Phillip.

Corinne and Malcolm discuss strategy and they’re pretty sure they have Eddie, Reynold, Erik, and Michael on their side. They decide to go for Sherri first, to give them a 5-to-6 advantage, then blindside Phillip.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will EAT GROSS STUFF!

Quick Note: Every time I see Challenge Producer John Kirhoffer, I bug him about the lack of “eat gross stuff” challenges in recent seasons. I’d like to think this challenge is something of a belated Valentine to me.

Another Quick Note: Now if I could just get them to toss the immunity necklaces in exchange for an immunity championship belt. Yes, I know I complain about this every season.

Round One: Andrea, Sherri, Corinne, Erik, Eddie, and Malcolm have to eat two live beetle larva. Somewhere Gervase is smiling. The first three to finish are Andrea, Malcolm, and Eddie.

Round Two: Phillip, Reynold, Dawn, Cochran, Brenda, and Michael have to eat the same thing. And…Cochran kills it! He’s done in like two seconds. We’ve found his gift. Phillip and Michael also advance.

Round Three: Andrea, Malcolm, Eddie, Cochran, Phillip, and Michael have to eat shipworms, which are apparently something weird from the clam family. It’s pretty gross. I’m pretty psyched. Malcolm, Eddie, and Cochran advance.

Fun Fact: Andrea with a shipworm residue mustache isn’t nearly as endearing as when she had cake smeared all over her face during “Redemption Island.”

Round Four: Eddie, Malcolm, and Cochran have to eat a balut, you know, that weird embryo thing. The best part is Eddie saying, “Why?” Cochran tears through it again! Malcolm also advances.

Final Round: Cochran and Malcolm will have to eat pig brains. And…Cochran does it again! Cochran wins immunity! He’s going to Wrestlemania!

Back at camp, Phillip wants to split the vote between Eddie and Reynold in case there’s an idol. Corinne would rather target Sherri (like she discussed with Malcolm). Phillip doesn’t like this idea because he wants to make a statement.

Cochran doesn’t care who goes home, but he doesn’t like that Corinne and Phillip are at each others’ throats.

Later, Corinne tells Dawn that she’s sick of Phillip being Phillip and she wants him gone. Uh-oh…that didn’t work out so well for whatshername last week.

CUT TO: Dawn telling Cochran what Corinne is up to.

The remnants of Stealth R Us Too discuss what to do about Corinne’s gross misuse of company time. Their plan is to outsource votes from Erik and Sherri. Sherri likes the idea of not going home, but can’t stand Phillip. While Erik is excited to be a part of two teams’ plans.

That night at Tribal Council, Michael thinks a fan will probably be going home.

Corinne doesn’t think the fans should feel helpless. If someone comes to her with a good idea, she’ll listen. Her alliance must love hearing that.

Reynold thinks there are eight favorites and they can’t all be on top. Good point.

Andrea is more paranoid this time because everyone is good at lying.

Sherri thinks the fans don’t have a shot. Wow…Negative Nancy…

Reynold doesn’t think the vote will be a big shocker, but he thinks some shockers are on their way.

Voting Time: Phillip votes for Corinne, Corinne votes for Sherri, Andrea votes for Corinne, Michael votes for Sherri, and the rest of the votes have gotsta wait for tallying.

JPro tallies and returns, we’ve got five votes for Sherri, six votes for Corinne, and the ninth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites” is…Corinne.

“Boooo!”

Verdict: “Boooooooooooooo!” I love me some Corinne. And Probst didn’t say she was a member of the jury. “Boo” a third time.

The thing is; the vote wasn’t a shocker. Either Phillip or Corinne had to go. Maybe the big takeaway from all of this is that Malcolm isn’t as smooth as he thinks he is. He was pretty sure Erik was on his side.

Who’s Going to Win? I’ve been picking Erik, and he’s in good shape, but is he savvy enough to know when to make a move? Cochran’s the one who’s killing it right now.

Power Rankings Results: Mr. Skupin and I called it. We both had Corinne in spot twelve. So, the current score is Team Skupin 95, Team Lightning Punch 115.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Caramoan’ Power Rankings: Merge Edition

April 2, 2013

'Survivor: Caramoan' (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Michael Skupin. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

The Rules: Each week Michael and Gordon will create separate Power Rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Dawn is voted out this week, Michael will receive 9 points and Gordon will receive 4 points. The person with the most points at the end of the season will be crowned the ‘Survivor: Caramoan’ Power Rankings champion!

Last Week: Michael Skupin had Julia in spot twelve, while Gordon’s pinch hitter Benjamin “Coach” Wade had her in eleven. So, the current score is Team Skupin 83, Team Lightning Punch 103.

Before we kick off this week’s rankings, let’s check in with our competitors…

Gordon Holmes: It seems like the faves are ready to wrap this thing up, but this Corinne/Phillip thing could cause some trouble.
Michael Skupin: Sometimes very social players get lulled into forgetting that the game is afoot.  Even a veteran like Corinne is losing her edge after three weeks of island living.  She’s trying so hard to “save” Michael, she’s losing or may have lost her place in the favorites’ alliance.  Phillip is sure to tell all who will listen about Corinne’s new found friend…regardless of sexual preference…that’s just questionable gameplay, especially from such a good player.

Holmes: Any parting words for Julia?
Skupin: Goodbye, racecar Julia. I think kids like you better than vanilla.  The one guy that had your back you turned on.  You keep saying the game made you adjust your strategy.  I hope not making alliances wasn’t one of the adjustments, those are pretty critical out there.  You outted Phillip to his own alliance, big move or not so smart, your only hope was in the Phillip, Corinne, Michael disruption. You needed to throw fire on that. Instead, you get an unlimited supply of ice-cream – any flavor.

Set Your DVR to Record ‘Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs Favorites”

Michael’s Current Score: 83

Any advice for Michael? Drop him a line on Twitter: @mikeskupin

Gordon’s Current Score: 103

Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
 1. Brenda: If Brenda was auditioning for “Dancing with the Stars,” she may have gotten their attention.  We didn’t see much of her other than her shake and shimmy on the bench as the Gota tribe brought home the bacon. Although it’s subtle, I bet she’s is making very strong bonds out there.
  1. Malcolm: Welcome to the merge, Mr. Freberg. As you well know, this is the point in the game where physical strength becomes a strategic weakness. However, I’m not worried about you, because you have several options alliance-wise and you have an immunity idol stashed in your buff.
 2. Malcolm: Malcolm revives the “Rooster Alliance” that backfired on Matt, Mike, and Jay on season 24 “One World.” He invites the unsuspecting Reynold, Eddie, and Erik.  Although I’m not ultra optimistic, let’s see if it works this time.
  2. Cochran: You know who’s quietly having the best game so far? Cochran. (Well, the fact that I wrote that question in Cochran’s blurb was probably a giveaway.) Corinne and Phillip are dying to make the wrong moves by turning on each other, but Cochran keeps calmly steering them back in the right direction. He’s like Parvati in that his first season was decent, but his follow-up is awesome.
 3. Andrea: Andrea, while enjoying the feast that resulted in a reward win, was fattening up the calves for slaughter. And while it appears many of the “winners” took a break from the game, she never stops playing.  3. Reynold: I like Reynold. I enjoyed our pre-game interview, he’s a super nice guy. I just don’t think “Survivor” is for him. The faves are going to chew him up. But, he still has an idol, so he’s safe for now.

  4. Erik: As Erik laid there in a sugar coma all I could think of is I’d have been in cardiac arrest with all that sugar.  A new inducted member of Malcolm’s new “Rooster Alliance” could be helpful to his game.
  4. Dawn: Dawn’s in the same boat as Cochran. They’re the drama-free faves who are going to coast now that they’ve hit the merge. Let the others make the big moves while you two sit back and wait for the perfect times to assert yourself.

  5. Reynold: I can’t believe I have you this high up. You’re smart and athletic but you’re letting everyone play their game.  You’re likely a leader in life, but you better step up soon or I believe you’ll experience the same fate the other fans will at the hands of the more experienced players. Your ONE trump card (the hidden immunity idol), you exposed to one of the games most strategic players…because you like him or because he looks like you?
  5. Andrea:  Andrea could be like Dawn and Cochran. She’s someone who shouldn’t create drama, she should react to it. But, I think she feels some pressure to make moves because of the coattail rider tag she received during “Redemption Island.” Let the Corinnes and Phillips cause trouble for now.
 6. Eddie: You’re still in the boys c ride but you’re certainly at the bottom of it.  It doesn’t look like you’re making any new friends but I don’t see you making any enemies either.
  6. Erik: I don’t know how Erik does it, but people still treat him like an adorable kid five years after Micronesia.  That isn’t a bad place to be in. Keep up the cookie naps, my friend. Nobody wants to vote out their little brother.
 7. Sherri: Winning gives her a break in the game. Unless she can make a big move, the Rooster Alliance will likely determine how long she uses a coconut for a pillow.
   7. Brenda: Is it possible that people have forgotten that Brenda is ridiculously smart? The cheering Brenda we saw at the reward challenge isn’t anything like the cool customer we saw in Nicaragua. If so, kudos to her. She might make a good swing vote down the line.
 8. Cochran: His name has still never come up. It appears like he’s everyone’s sounding board out there when they want to vent.  So far, that’s a very safe spot. His tribe is slowly dying while Gota is becoming stronger every day out there.  A merge couldn’t happen soon enough for his game.
  8. Sherri: I don’t know if anyone needed this merge as much as Sherri did. If the guys were going to call the shots at Gota, she would’ve been the next to go.
 9. Dawn: If she can prevent WW3 between Phillip and Corinne, she can bring what’s left of the favorites alliance back together and salvage the old team. Now that she has her emotions under control, her game has been flawless.
  9. Michael: Cochran had a good point last week when he said that Corinne wanting to be your buddy could be bad for you. Not because Corinne isn’t hilarious, but because breaking up couples seems to be the order of the day this season. However, now that the faves are back together, they can all discuss what to do about this newsome twosome. (I’m aware that “newsome” isn’t a word.)
 10. Phillip: You did throw a challenge, you’d never throw a challenge, you did throw a challenge… if confusing us is your strategy, you’re succeeding! Although the physical part of the game is beginning to take its toll, because of your secret agent training you’re still a challenge threat.  You handed Julia a golden egg and she dropped it. Play nice with Corinne and you could enjoy many more sunsets out there.   
   10. Eddie: Everybody likes Eddie. And why wouldn’t they? He’s a good guy. But, he’s also the buffest dude on the beach and that’s bad news after a merge.
 11. Michael: Your “long strand of hell” continues…as does your ”Denise-like” streak of surviving Tribal Councils. Your new “friendship without benefits” with Corinne may have been your undoing. Please stop forgetting you’re playing “Survivor” for a million bucks here, brother!
   11. Phillip: It looks like finishing up the Phillip/Corinne feud might take precedence over getting rid of the remaining fans. I don’t know which way they’re going to go, but I know I’d much rather sit in front of a jury with Phillip than with Corinne.
 12. Corinne: Telegraphing alliances without disclose were Phillip’s words and the advice of every former player. Let Phillip bury himself and stay solid with Cochran and Dawn if you want to keep waking up with crabs in your curls.
   12. Corinne: Corinne said that people think Phillip is running things because the other faves put up with his silliness. Will they put up with his silliness if it involves getting rid of Corinne? Who knows? We already know Andrea is up for it.

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Julia: ‘My Nickname Should Be…’Thrilla Vanilla”

April 2, 2013

Julia Landauer (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Michael Skupin. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6680657917899399112″ program_type=”series”]

Another Quick Note: This week’s exit interview was delayed due to some scheduling conflicts. Special thanks to Julia and CBS for making this work out.

Gordon Holmes: OK, since we’re doing this late, I’ll let you pick the question you’re sick of answering and I promise not to ask it.
Julia Landauer: (Laughs) OK…you know what? I’m OK with whatever you’ve got.
Holmes: That’s the spirit.

Holmes: Obviously you knew it was you or Michael going home. Did you think it was a chance it wouldn’t be you?
Landauer: I thought there was a very slim chance it would be Michael. I was getting vibes throughout the day that Phillip may or may not keep his word about taking me under his wing. I wasn’t feeling great about that, so I tried to suck up. But if not, I tried to make a move and I knew that if it didn’t work there’d be a 99.9% chance that I was going home. But, I thought that was better than risking going out completely under the radar.
Holmes: So, what we saw with you and Dawn, that was after you thought Phillip wasn’t going to keep his word?
Landauer: Yes. If I had felt confident that Phillip was going to take me with him, I probably wouldn’t have gone to Dawn, but I was not feeling good about that.
Holmes: What was Phillip doing that had you doubting him?
Landauer: I saw him very purposefully take Michael aside in front of me. He wasn’t talking with me very much. That was pretty unsettling.
Holmes: Are you bummed that you can’t use “Stealth R Us Intern” on any future resumes?
Landauer: It’s unfortunate, but I asked Twitter what my nickname should be, and my favorite was “Thrilla Vanilla.”

Holmes: Speaking of, what goes through your mind when you see Cochran, who I assume you were on good terms with out there, call you “Vanilla”?
Landauer: Not only did he call me “Vanilla,” but he went on for days. I was impressed he could keep going for that long. It sucked, there’s nothing fun about that. I thought we’d gotten along OK on the island. He’s a great “Survivor” player, but he’s not the most engaging person in person either. I was surprised that it came from him, I could understand it from Corinne or maybe Phillip.
Holmes: You’re a race car driver, which takes some serious muscle. When you see Cochran at the reunion, are you going to take his lunch money?
Landauer: That’s a mystery that we’ll all have to wait for, won’t we?
Holmes: Playing close to the vest.
Landauer: I can’t have him come prepared, can I?
Holmes: Smart. Actually, I’m a little disappointed that you two didn’t bond over your horrific sunburns.
Landauer: Seriously! But we did bond, we bonded over sunburns. We bonded over the Beatles, we sang the Beatles. It was really dorky.
Holmes: Sounds like it.
Landauer: That’s why it was surprising that he was so aggressive with his “Vanilla.” I wonder if he was really proud that he came up with that. It seemed very rehearsed.

Holmes: The week before, you approached Michael and Matt in the woods and proposed voting for Dawn. Matt claims you never tried to get a fourth vote to send Dawn home. Is that accurate, or did he miss it?
Landauer: I was looking around, but it became pretty clear that there were no cracks in the favorites.

Holmes: I’m not a huge fan of swaps because it can punish people who have been playing good games. I think you fall into the category because it seemed like you were close with the majority at Gota.
Landauer: You’re right, if we hadn’t had the swap, Eddie and Reynold were next on the chopping block. We could have come into the merge with a very cool, solid alliance from day one. The game would’ve been completely different, but there are so many things that could’ve made the game completely different, that it’s not fair to speculate on that.
Holmes: Michael Skupin was telling me that his tribe had a set plan in case of a tribe swap. Had Gota discussed what to do if that happened?
Landauer: I was not under the impression that we’d prepared for a swap. We thought it was a possibility that something could happen. But we were going to try to get as much information as possible from the other tribe and try to come back to Gota. But, being newbies it was probably hard for us to get out stuff together and take that really strategic approach that the favorites have because they’ve played before.

Holmes: We didn’t get to see very much of you in the early going. Was there anything we missed that you wished they would’ve shown?
Landauer: Yeah, but not really big moves because I don’t think of pre-merge as a big-move time. I did a lot of talking with Michael and Matt about who to vote off and I don’t think I got a fair representation of being in control or at least partially in control of the Gota tribe, which I was. I wish that would have been shown. And hard work around camp. In general we’re not seeing a lot of camp life this season. People question why I stayed around so long, but your contributions around camp are a determining factor.

Holmes: Alright, word association. Let’s start with Corinne.
Landauer: Mean.
Holmes: Dawn?
Landauer: Weird.
Holmes: Phillip?
Landauer: Outrageous.
Holmes: Micheal?
Landauer: Savvy.
Holmes: Reynold?
Landauer: A tool.
Holmes: Sherri?
Landauer: Quiet.
Holmes: Shamar?
Landauer: Too much.
Holmes: And let’s finish with Cochran.
Landauer: Sunburned vanilla.

Holmes: “Weird” for Dawn?
Landauer: I’d seen her in her first season and she wasn’t quite matching up with that. Also, she would get really emotional at times and then really cutthroat at other times. I just found that combination kind of weird.

Holmes: When you were being vetted for Stealth R Us, Phillip said he was drawn to people who lead extraordinary lives. Did you take a lot from this “Survivor” experience or was it just another chapter in an extraordinary life?
Landauer: I think this experience forced me to grow up in a way I haven’t had to yet. I have very limited real world experience, I’ve been a student my whole life and a race car driver. I don’t have a lot of experience with people who aren’t trustworthy. I think “Survivor” forced me to get tougher and have a stiff upper lip. You know, just get tougher skin. I think “Survivor” will make me a little stronger in being able to approach the real world.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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