Archive for the ‘Movies Whatnot’ Category

Left/Right Review for ‘Red’

October 14, 2010

The popular theory is that the right side of the brain controls emotions, while the left side controls more analytical thinking. So the left side of my brain enjoys an intelligent story with creative execution, and the right side of my brain likes lightsabers, People’s Elbows, and explosions. An example of this is the right side of my brain loves “Armageddon” and the left side of my brain hates it. Understand? No? Picture the right side of my brain with a beer and the left with a martini, oh, or how about my right side is a ten year old, and the left is Roger Ebert.

Plot: Retired special agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) needs to get his old gang back together after he becomes the target of a government conspiracy. Shooting ensues.

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What Are You Supposed to Be, Some Kind of a Cosmonaut?

October 9, 2010

Being an adult kind of sucks. You don’t have any free time, everything you eat is trying to kill you, and holidays hit the toilet.

Think about it, have you ever had a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Festivus that was better than the ones you had as a kid? Doubtful. The beef jerky and Drakkar Noir I got last Christmas can’t hold a jug of moonshine to the “Dukes of Hazzard” slot car racing set that features a General Lee that jumps off a ramp I received in my youth.

Quick Note: Mom, I love you, but the Drakkar Noir has to stop. I haven’t worn it since Jr. High.

That being said, there is one holiday that doesn’t necessarily get worse. Halloween is still pretty awesome, but for much different reasons. When you were a kid, Halloween meant eating candy and getting to wear a cool costume. As an adult, Halloween means having a few soda pops and getting to see your female friends wear (as Madison Avenue now calls them) “sassy” costumes.

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