More Whatnot

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: XFINITY TV sent me deep into the Cambodian wilderness to bring you all kinds of “Survivor: Second Chance” goodness. So, be sure to check back for exclusive interviews, photos, and behind-the-scenes tidbits. And, follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

There have been many twists and turns to “Survivor” over the years, but I have to admit that the original premise is still my favorite; a big group of strangers, shipwrecked on a deserted island and forced to create their own society.

This means scrounging for useful items among the boat’s wreckage. It means creating elaborate “S.O.S.” displays. And it definitely means having to eat weird things found in the area. That’s why every time I visit a “Survivor” location I make it a point to harass Challenge Producer John Kirhoffer about gross food-eating challenges.

Well, let’s file this next story under; “Be Careful What You Wish For.”

Little did I know that Mr. Kirhoffer had something up his sleeve for my latest visit. Well, maybe it wasn’t up his sleeve, it was probably scampering in the jungle somewhere. At any rate, he was going to make me put my money (or something worse) where my mouth was and eat something horrific.

So, what’s the big deal? I’m always looking for new ways to participate in “Survivor” activities. It helps me understand the players’ motivations.

But…

Fun Fact: You know how every elementary school has the smelly kid, or the kid who wets his pants, or the kid who cries when his mom drops him off? Well, I was the kid that was always throwing up.

That’s right. All anyone who attended Hanna Woods Elementary in the mid-to-late ’80s had to do was say the word “boogers” and I was sprinting for the bathroom. But, if Gervase could give it his best, so could I.

It was roughly 1,000 degrees out on the day we were scheduled to eat…whatever. As Parade.com’s Josh Wigler and I made our way to the challenge department, he asked me if this little event would count toward my 7-and-1 lifetime challenge record.

I hadn’t thought of that. With the previous day’s challenge victory under my belt, I was looking forward to at least 12 more months of bragging about my winning streak. I didn’t like Wigler’s question one bit.

“I don’t think it should count as a real challenge,” I said. “We’re not going to a real location with a cool set and Probst won’t be there.”

Whether or not Wigler bought my attempt to casually play it off was quickly rendered moot when we turned a corner and saw a well-dressed challenge location and a certain 40-time Emmy winner.

Who knew that Jeff Probst would demand to be present whenever I was about to do something potentially embarrassing?

The competitors; Mr. Wigler, “Entertainment Weekly’s” Dalton Ross, and myself were placed behind a table. On that table were three covered plates and to our sides were conveniently placed buckets. Apparently the buckets were there in lieu of a Hanna Woods Elementary School toilet.

The covers were removed and we were each greeted by a large, cooked scorpion. The tail had been cut off as that is the most dangerous part. Later, a production member also removed the claws.

As Probst gleefully discussed what we were about to endure, I was putting my plan in motion. I know this sounds weird, but I did my best to fill my mouth with as much saliva as possible. My theory was that it would dilute the terrible taste and make it go down quicker. It also made sense to try to take this monster in two portions. So, when Probst set us loose I was going to have to bite this thing in half.

My heart was pounding as Probst was building to his trademark line. I know what it’s like to run across a field or swim in the ocean. I have a good idea what it’s like to throw coconuts in a basket or dive into a mud pile. But, I had no idea what it was like to eat a scorpion.

But, when the man says, “Survivors, ready?” you don’t think. You go.

Well, he said it…and I did it.

And, right off the bat I made a mistake. I crammed the whole thing into my dumb, stupid face.

I’ve never been so mad at myself, but I wasn’t going to spit it up. I knew there was no way my stomach could handle the sight of mangled-up scorpion.

So, I chewed and chewed. And then a funny thing happened; I realized it wasn’t that gross. Later on, we came to the consensus that it was like eating soft-shell crab.

Not terribly unpleasant taste aside, this thing still needed to be swallowed. In the end I had to rock my head back like a duck in order to get it down. I cleared my mouth of any spare legs and showed my empty mouth to Probst.

Holmes wins…Wigler comes in second, Ross spits the remaining scorpion bits on a nearby camera.

In the end, I feel like the experience is much more mental than physical. If whatever was under the plate cover was moving, it’s possible I never would have touched it. And if the taste or smell was particularly bad I might not have had the stomach for it.

But the excitement between “Can I do it?” and actually doing it was awesome. Totally worth the twenty times I would brush my teeth immediately afterward.

And Mr. Wigler’s question? Yeah, it totally counts. Eight wins in a row, baby…

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

“Survivor: Second Chance” will kick off with a special 90-minute premiere on Wednesday, September 23rd at 8 p.m. ET.

"Survivor: Second Chance" (XFINITY)

Quick Note: XFINITY TV sent me deep into the Cambodian wilderness to bring you all kinds of “Survivor: Second Chance” goodness. So, be sure to check back for exclusive interviews, photos, and behind-the-scenes tidbits. And, follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

It wouldn’t be a trip to “Survivor” without the traditional Press vs. Dream Team immunity challenge. (Note: The Dream Team is a bunch of tanned, buff, bad asses who run the challenges to make sure they’re safe, fair, and entertaining).

I’ve competed in seven of these challenges. The first one in Gabon was a humiliating, soul-sucking, heartache-inducing nightmare. The Dream Team treated me the same was a dog treats a freshly cut lawn.

So, I decided to win the next six.

(Yeah, it’s lame to brag about wins in an exhibition competition, but I truly have so little else. Let me have this.)

With my good name cleared, I’ve been looking for new ways to get motivated for the games, and this season the producers were nice enough to give me one…

The Hidden Idol

“Entertainment Weekly” writer Dalton Ross has been begging “Survivor” to hide an idol at an immunity challenge for years. They finally listened to him. And since it was his idea, they wanted him to test it out.

The way it works is; a clue is hidden at camp. If you find the clue, it will tell you exactly where the challenge idol is hidden. It’s up to the individual to figure out how best to retrieve it and stash it without anyone noticing.

So, the producers took Dalton aside and told him where the idol was hidden.

My mission was now clear; I was going to beat him to the punch, watch him like a hawk, and claim immunity for myself.

The Challenge

In keeping with the theme of Second Chances, this challenge was a mash-up of competitions that appeared in “Survivor: Samoa” and “Survivor: Blood vs. Water.”

For the first part, the teams will have to run up and over three A-frames. The first two A-frames are a medium height, while the third one is much larger. Three members of the team will need to do this while carrying a heavy rope.

Once they’re over the obstacles the players will use the three ropes to create a MEGA rope. They’ll attach the rope to the end of a crate, then pull it across a slanted course.

When the crate reaches the end of the course, the players will untie knots to open the crate, then use the puzzle pieces they find inside to complete a picture puzzle. The first tribe to complete the puzzle wins respect.

“Survivors, Ready?”

There were plenty of press members at the event so the challenge wouldn’t be straight up Press vs. Dream Team. It was Press vs. Press with Dream Teamers sprinkled in to even up the sides. I made sure to be on Dalton’s team.

We gathered at the starting mat and went over strategies.

Finally, “Survivor” host and Emmy-hoarder Jeff Probst said the magic words and we were off.

Getting up the first A-frame was a piece of cake, getting down wasn’t quite as smooth. You see, Dalton Ross was one of the people selected to carry a rope. As I scurried over the top, I didn’t notice that he had some slack dangling over the other side. On the way down my foot got caught and I was sent tumbling down buff over teakettles.

In fact, when it was over the medics told me they were about to stop the challenge to check on me. But I just popped back up as if nothing had happened so they assumed I was fine.

And they were right, I was fine. However, it did make me wonder why Dalton was trying to kill me.

The race up the second A-frame wasn’t quite as successful. I tried and lost my footing on the first attempt, and was about to fail my second attempt when none other than “Survivor” Hall of Famer and my occasional Press challenge enemy Parvati Shallow reached out for me. I grabbed her hand “Cliffhanger”-style and was able to get over.

The third A-frame (the much higher one) required us to climb one of the CBS cameramen like a ladder. Hey, whatever it takes.

By the time we were down, the other tribe was at work pulling their crate along the course. Uh oh.

Our crate team went to work, but wasn’t having much luck. At one point, Parvati even had to run up to the crate to fix the rope as it had gotten stuck.

The other team had a significant lead by the time Parade.com writer Josh Wigler and I had a chance to tackle the puzzle.

The puzzle was the same style as the one that gave Tina Wesson fits in “Blood vs. Water” where you have to place double sided poles in the proper order to create a picture. One of the rules states that you can’t create the image on the ground and then move it into the frame. So, it involves a lot of trial and error to get everything placed correctly.

Fortunately, Mr. Wigler and I were in the zone. We had puzzle pieces bouncing in and out of the frame at a furious pace. And, once we figured out how to do it two at a time, we were really in business.

It didn’t hurt that the commentary we were hearing from Probst was not very positive when it came to our opponents’ puzzle.

Slowly but surely we were able to complete the puzzle and bask in the sweet sounds of Probst declaring us the victors. It was hugs and high-fives all around.  I don’t know if seven wins in a row is a record, but it felt pretty good.

Quick Aside: Do you remember what my real goal was for this challenge? Because apparently I didn’t.

When the merriment was over, Probst approached Dalton and asked if he’d retrieved the idol. Dalton reached into his pocket and proved that he had.

Wow.

Nobody saw him do it. Every person on our team knew he had the clue and not one of the eight people saw him grab it. It was like the second after Probst said, “Survivors, ready? Go!” the thought of the idol popped right out of my head.

It’s going to be an interesting season.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

“Survivor: Second Chance” will kick off with a special 90-minute premiere on Wednesday, September 23rd at 8 p.m. ET.

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: XFINITY TV sent me deep into the Cambodian wilderness to bring you all kinds of “Survivor: Second Chance” goodness. So, be sure to check back for exclusive interviews, photos, and behind-the-scenes tidbits. And, follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Strap your buffs snugly around your head or wrist (or go for the tube top look if you’re feeling saucy), because “Survivor” season is finally upon us!  “Survivor: Second Chance” will kick off with a special 90-minute premiere on Wednesday, September 23rd at 8 p.m. ET.

With a season made up of twenty returning contestants, you know there’s going to be some curveballs. So, I spoke to the man himself, “Survivor” host and Executive Producer Jeff Probst, to get an early look at the trials and tribulations he has planned for our returnees…

Idols in a Variety of Styles
“Usually the idols all look alike and are all very ‘Survivor’-ish. They are cast out of some sort of resin or something. You look at it and think, ‘This has to be an idol.’ This time, we’re making every idol different. One idol might look really polished and finished, and the next one might look like bits and pieces of leftover string. The next one might look like it’s made by a seven-year old as a craft project. Both of them will have the same power, but how do you convince somebody that it’s a real idol? Or will somebody get fooled and think it isn’t a real idol? Or, will someone make a fake idol thinking this is a season where they can sell it as real? The levels of gameplay with the idols should be really complicated because nobody is anticipating that an idol would not look like an idol.”

Idols Hidden at Challenges
“We’re also going to make finding the idols a little more difficult. Instead of finding an idol at camp, you’re going to find a clue. And the clue is going to say, ‘The good news is you’re very close. All you have to do is be courageous enough to grab it during your next immunity challenge.’ It will be sitting in plain sight, all you have to do is reach for it. So, while you’re participating in the challenge, and while you’re trying to help your tribe win, you’re thinking, ‘How can I get that idol and put it in my pocket without anybody seeing?’”

Shaking Up the Returnees
“We’re going to start with two tribes and then we’re going to switch it up a bit. We’re going to try to make it tougher to keep alliances together. It doesn’t mean they won’t. But we’re going to try to keep the game a little uneven. And I think they want that. I think they want the entire full-tilt boogie experience. That’s what we’re going to try to do without making it feel like a runaway train without any boundaries.”

The Return of the Double Vote?
“I can’t say. I liked it. I think it can work. The thing I really like about the extra vote is it’s uncertain if it’ll have any impact on the game. I like that. It’s a great advantage if you get the opportunity to play it. But, Dan played it and was voted out. So, it isn’t a foregone conclusion. I like adding layers like that that don’t have a certainty to their outcome.”

Second-Chance Challenges
“Once we had our list of 32 possible players, we had to start building challenges. We looked at the list and said, ‘Let’s make some assumptions. Maybe Joe will make it, maybe Wiglesworth will make it. Maybe Spencer and Ciera.’ Then we started picking challenges that they had participated in and started building them. Then you have to hope that they get voted in. Then you have to hope that they last long enough to play the challenge that you slated for them. From a thematic point of view, we were going for second chances as often as possible. In our very first challenge we’re doing ‘Quest for Fire’ which we did fifteen years ago. Kelly Wiglesworth will play again. I will say, ‘Kelly Wiglesworth did this fifteen years ago and she lost. This is her first second chance to change that history. And it’s not just challenges that they lost. Just that they participated in it. We still have to serve the big picture that is; which are the challenges we love and of them, which ones match up with our second chancers? And when it was over we said, if there are six or seven that pertain to our players, that’s great.”

Steps to Break Up Pre-Game Alliances?
“I don’t see pre-game alliances as a concern and I never have. Some producers on our show get really worked up about it and think it’s going to spoil the game. The players have no idea what the creative is, they have no idea what tribe they’re going to be on. It’s something I would do. I’d call some people. But if you don’t end up on my tribe, or if a better alliance comes up to me, now I’m in a bad spot if I promised you something before the game started. I’ve talked to a lot of former players and they say everybody calls everybody, then you get out there and it goes away. And if it doesn’t, if somebody has a pre-game alliance and they’re able to keep that together for 39-days? Nice job.”

Any Questions: Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes