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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Castaway Interview – Tyrone Davis

October 14, 2010

Here are two little pieces of advice for anyone going on “Survivor” in the future…

1. Don’t be the leader.
2. Don’t eat more food than anyone else.

These two rules seem pretty basic, but every season several people fall into those traps. Unfortunately for Tyrone Davis, he found himself with a foot in each trap last night. I spoke with Tyrone the morning after his dismissal to get his thoughts on the work ethic of the younger tribe, Holly’s sanity, and of course, Chickengate.

Gordon Holmes: Were you blindsided last night?
Tyrone Davis: I predicted it. I knew it was going to be me or Yve because from the four remaining Espada members, we were the only threats. And Holly was a wayward vote because I knew she was crazy. I figured they’d probably get her. She’s like a blade of grass in the wind, she’s going to go whichever way.
Gordon: What was Holly like to have around camp?
Tyrone: She was a space cadet. She’s crazy. She needs to be on somebody’s couch. She’s like Lisa Kudrow’s character on “Friends.” She’s a dingbat, basically. She did things around camp, but she did say at one point she wanted out of there. She lasted longer than me, so she did something right.

Gordon: Last night they showed you laying down the law with the new Espada tribe. Was that an accurate portrayal?
Tyrone: Not at all. Any conversation was an open-ended conversation. I asked for input. They didn’t show that. But, they didn’t boil their water before they drank it, which I thought was crazy as hell. There could be parasites and whatever else. I said, “That’s cool, you don’t have to boil your water, but I’m still going to boil mine.” I tried to tell them the benefits of doing that. But, that’s the generation gap. We’re all adults, but there’s a difference.
Gordon: How big of an impact does that age difference have on tribal unity?
Tyrone: Definitely some impact. The Y2K kids, they have a sense of entitlement. The work ethic is different, the sense of honor and integrity is not there. On Espada we tried to work together more than the kids were. I work with kids as a teacher and a coach, but I don’t have kids of my own. Maybe there’s a technique that I missed along the way that could have been a benefit.
Gordon: Like smacking them upside the head?
Tyrone: No, I don’t mean like smacking them upside the head, but after watching the show there’s a couple of them that could use some discipline. Maybe they didn’t get enough hugs. Maybe I could have taken a more active role in connecting with them. I could’ve said, “It’s going to be OK, sweetie,” when NaOnka had her meltdown. I read through NaOnka more than anyone else there.
Gordon: What do you think her issue is?
Tyrone: I think her issue is insecurity. She probably didn’t get enough hugs as a kid. I don’t know, but I’m a little bit embarrassed for her. I’m not a doctor, but she’s probably attention starved.

Gordon: I’m fascinated with Jill and Marty. Who’s in control of that relationship?
Tyrone: I think it’s a two-sided relationship. Marty’s arrogance or sense of entitlement came off strong to everybody else. But, as far as who’s in control, they both have strong personalities.

Gordon: One of the main rules of “Survivor” is be careful with the food. You got grief over eating what Benry believed to be a large piece of chicken. Did you have any idea that people were taking that so seriously?
Tyrone: What happened was, I waited until everyone had their share. So, I ate what was left. And if you look at it, there wasn’t much left. I was gnawing on the bone, and there wasn’t much there. I didn’t get any more than anyone else. It’s not like I had a damn leg. And I find it ironic. OK, the black man is eating all the chicken.
Gordon: Why’s it got to be like that?
Tyrone: It is what it is, and I do eat a lot. People who know me know I eat a lot.
Gordon: You’re the biggest guy out there. You’re built like a WWE action figure.
Tyrone: (Laughs) That’s funny.
Gordon: What affect did the lack of food have on you.
Tyrone: I was doing better than most people out there. I’m a bachelor, sometimes I don’t eat for 24 hours at a time. I took it as a challenge.

Gordon: What was your relationship like with Jimmy T.?
Tyrone: I actually liked Jimmy T. He’s a decent guy, but he’s attention starved. I told him he was doing himself a disservice by carrying on the way he was carrying on. But, that’s who he is. Where he comes from, he’s the man, he’s the leader. But, he’s not where he comes from. He was annoying the daylights out of everyone else, but it was cool. I like the dude.

Gordon: OK, word association time. Let’s start with Jane.
Tyrone: Worker.
Gordon: Holly?
Tyrone: (Expletive deleted) dingbat.
Gordon: Yve?
Tyrone: I guess I would say unstable.
Gordon: Jimmy T. said “a lot of baggage” for Yve. What’s going on with Yve that we’re not seeing?
Tyrone: Yve is very unstable. From a couple of conversations, she’s got some psychological issues. When we meet everybody, we were talking about everybody’s careers and I said, “Are you a homemaker?” She’s like, “No! I’m a mother!” And I was like, “Whoa, sorry I offended you. What’s wrong with being a homemaker?” I thought that was an honorable thing. So, obviously she has some man issues. She can’t stand men, she’s done with men. She’s got some issues.
Gordon: Benry?
Tyrone: Crafty.
Gordon: Jimmy T.?
Tyrone: Insecure.
Gordon: Jimmy J.?
Tyrone: Fireman.
Gordon: Alina?
Tyrone: Conniving.
Gordon: NaOnka?
Tyrone: (Laughs) What is the word for her…troubled.
Gordon: Marty?
Tyrone: In the words of Jimmy T., he’s a prissy (expletive deleted).
Gordon: (Laughs)
Tyrone: That was funny!

Follow Gordon on Twitter for “Survivor” news: @gordonholmes

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, survivor, survivor nicaragua, tyrone davis
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Episode 5 Recap: The Grossest Challenge Ever

October 13, 2010

Alternate Headlines: Spit Happens or Wheely Disgusting

Last Week: NaOnka found an idol and picked a fight, Dan stood around, and Marty added another Jimmy to his hit list by taking out Jimmy Tarantino.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The La Flor Tribe aka The Young Tribe (wearing yellow)

•    Alina – 23, Art Student
•    Benry – 24, Club Promoter
•    Brenda – 27, Paddleboard Company Owner
•    Chase – 24, Race Car Jackman/Country Singer
•    Fabio – 21, Student
•    Kelly B. – 26, Medical Student
•    Kelly S. – 20, Nursing Student
•    NaOnka – 27, P.E. Teacher
•    Sash – 30, Real Estate Broker

The Espada Tribe aka The Older Tribe (wearing blue)

•    Dan – 63, Real Estate Executive
•    Holly – 44, Swim Coach
•    Jane – 56, Dog Trainer
•    Jill – 43, E.R. Doctor
•    Marty – 48, Technology Executive
•    Tyrone – 42, Fire Captain
•    Yve – 41, Homemaker

We meet up with Espada the morning after Tribal Council, and Marty is very pleased with how the game is going. By his math they’re set through at least the next three Tribal Councils. He says it’d take something extraordinary to disturb his plans now.

Over at La Flor, NaOnka tells us how happy she is with her alliance. Her hair looks good, her shoes look good, she has an idol. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

If this was the “Amazing Race” they’d cue that sound effect that tells you when someone is making a mistake.

Sure enough, we’re swept over to some kind of challenge set-up where Jeff tells the tribe to drop their buffs. (Jeff, what’d you say to me in Nicaragua about not always saying the same things?!)

Each of the players pulls a rock out of a bag to decide the new tribe captains. The winners are Brenda and Holly. That’s nice symmetry, the person playing the best game and the person playing the worst game will get to pick teams.

Brenda gets to choose three Espada players, while Holly gets to choose four La Flor players. Brenda chooses Marty, Jill, and Jane. Holly chooses Alina, Benry, Chase, and NaOnka.

Your new tribes are…

La Flor: Brenda, Kelly B., Kelly S., Fabio, Sash, Marty, Jill, Jane
Espada: Holly, Dan, Tyrone, Yve, Alina, Benry, Chase, and NaOnka

Wow, odd picks by Brenda. Is she trying to weed out who she thinks is the old Espada leadership?

Also, the Medallion of Power is no longer in play. Don’t act upset, you hated it.

NaOnka tells JPro that she’s upset that she’s losing some of her buddies. Yeah, I’m sure Fabio and Kelly B. are really upset about this.

Reward Challenge: Players will throw balls up a ramp, the balls will then roll down a Plinko-style board, hitting obstacles on the way down. Two members of the other tribe will try to catch the balls. The first side to drop a ball loses a point. First team to get three points wins a flock of chickens.

Jane gets a little ahead of herself yelling, “I’m gonna wring that neck on that chicken!” Way to make a good first impression there, Jane.

Not much to describe here. Espada wins the first point when the Biggest Bachelor in New York drops a ball. La Flor scores the next point when Tyrone drops one. Espada scores again when Marty and Marty’s amazing hair drop a ball. La Flor ties it up when Alina drops one. And finally Espada wins when Marty drops another ball.

Back at Espada camp, Tyrone is upset that his alliance is gone, but doesn’t mind that there are some lovely young ladies around camp. He also lays down the law as to how the Espada tribe does things.

NaOnka informs us that Tyrone is not a gangsta. Thanks, NaOnka.

And showing that crazy can attract crazy, NaOnka and Holly actually start to bond. Holly decides that she’s on the outs with the old Espada tribe and that she’s on board with whatever the youngsters want to do.

Over at La Flor, Fabio is “stoked” with his new tribe. He seems less stoked after Marty tells him how hard everyone worked over at Espada.

Jane then rats out Marty and Jill to the kids’ table saying, “They’re as tight as ticks, one of them humping the other one on the back.” She then uses her fingers to pantomime what tick intimate relations must look like.

This show needs more Jane and Fabio.

Next up, Fabio tells Marty about NaOnka tackling Kelly B. Marty says that’d never fly at Espada. He also claims to have not had to lie to anyone (I know a certain two-time Super Bowl champion who’d disagree with that). Then, he admits to everyone that he has an immunity idol.

Brenda doesn’t approve of this move as much as Jimmy T. did. She thinks this puts a huge target on his back.

Back at Espada, the rain is starting to pour down. NaOnka is concerned because when she gets cold and wet she starts to lose it. Too…many…jokes…

Apparently this is a big deal, she even tells Alina that she’s considering quitting. It’s nice to see Alina and NaOnka getting along. Maybe NaOnka’s hatred is specifically for people with less than two legs?

Chase joins the two of them and cheers NaOnka up by telling her a touching story about how he saw a rainbow on the day that his father passed away. It might have gotten a little dusty here at “Survivor” Central.

Immunity Challenge: Three players from each team will be strapped to a wheel. As the wheel rotates, their heads will dip into a trough. They’ll have to fill their mouths with water while they’re underwater. As they rotate to the top, they’ll spit the water into a funnel. Once the funnel is filled up with water a ball will be released. Another player on the tribe will take the ball and try to break a series of tiles. The first team to break all five tiles wins immunity.

OK, I’m going to go on record as saying I think this is the grossest challenge in “Survivor” history. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Gordon, they’ve been forced to eat bugs and drink blood on this show.” And that’s true, but all of those challenges were based on local customs and traditions. In this challenge they’re basically dunking their dirty, greasy, been-hanging-out-on-a-beach-for-two-weeks heads into a trough of water and taking a big gulp.

Fun Fact: You know the kid in every elementary school who has a weak stomach and pukes easily? At my elementary school that kid’s name was Gordon Holmes. This wasn’t an awesome challenge for me.

Maybe that wasn’t such a fun fact.

On the wheel for La Flor we’ve got Kelly B., Purple Kelly Purple, and Brenda. On the wheel for Espada we have Yve, Alina, and Holly.

La Flor’s strategy is to go as quickly as possible, while Espada’s is to go slow so they can spit more water into the funnel. Apparently Espada had the right plan as their ball is released first.

Tyrone and Benry are shooting for Espada. Jane and Fabio are shooting for La Flor. Somewhere in the distance Jimmy T. is screaming, “Put me in, Coach! I coulda beena contender!”

The tile breaking comes down to the final tile, with Fabio winning it for La Flor by hitting the final shot.

NaOnka tells us that she doesn’t want to quit and she doesn’t want her students to think she’s a quitter, but she’s thinking of quitting.

So…it’s OK for your students to think you’ll bully a one-legged woman?

Later that day, Espada is discussing whether or not to eat a chicken. Tyrone wants to keep the chickens for the eggs, everyone else wants to eat a chicken.

Tyrone says he’s not going to push the issue and isn’t going to “Gangsta it.” Which is good, cause NaOnka already told us he isn’t a gangsta.

Holly is annoyed that Tyrone stayed away during the killing and preparation of the chicken, but was first in line when it came time for eating the chicken. Benry also lets us know that Tyrone took the biggest piece of chicken.

“Survivor” always comes down to food. Every time.

That night at Tribal Council, Benry tells Jeff that he thinks Tyrone is the leader of Espada. Tyrone agrees that he is the leader and is happy to have the position.

Alina thinks that Tyrone treats the former La Flors like they’re children. She also threatens to hold her breath until he stops.

Jeff asks NaOnka to compare her time on “Survivor” with the most difficult thing to ever happen in her life. She says it’s been as rough as when she got a divorce. She thinks “Survivor” has been better because she has a support system.

Jeff tries to put Benry on the spot, asking if they’re OK with NaOnka quitting. Benry says he doesn’t know what Jeff is talking about. Jeff doesn’t believe him. Meow. Jeff can get away with that because he is gangsta.

Yve says she understands and that it’s a cause for concern when someone starts throwing around the q-word.

Voting Time: Tyrone votes for NaOnka, Benry votes for “The King of Espada” but the name he writes down isn’t shown, (he also knocks over the paperweight, which is hilarious), and the rest of the votes are super secret.

JPro gets his tally on, then returns. One vote for NaOnka, two votes for Tyrone, one vote for NaOnka, two votes for Tyrone, and the fifth person voted out of “Survivor: Nicaragua” is…Tyrone.

Verdict: First thing’s first; how is Dan still in this game?!

OK, that’s out of the way. I’m not a big fan of tribe swaps, but this season needs something to jump start it. Hopefully this will put it going in the right direction.

Who’s Going to Win? I’m sticking with Brenda until she makes a misstep.

Power Rankings Results: Yes! Coach and Randy Bailey had Tyrone in spot three while I called it, having Tyrone in spot sixteen. The current score is now Team Dragon Slayer 49, Team Truth Seeker 53.

Follow me on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news: @gordonholmes

What Do You Think? How do you feel about tribe swaps? Should NaOnka be a teacher? Is there anyone to root for?

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Power Rankings – Round 4

October 13, 2010

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Tocantins” and “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” star Benjamin “Coach” Wade and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” recapper Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sash is voted out this week, Coach will receive 11 points and Gordon will receive 10 points. At the end of the season, the person or team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Nicaragua” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Marty added another Jimmy to his booting collection by sending Jimmy Tarantino home. Coach and “The King of Gabon” Randy Bailey won the round, having Jimmy T. in spot 16. Gordon was only one point behind as he had him in spot 15.

Now, let’s have a quick word with our competitors…

Benjamin “Coach” Wade: Since the King and I are ahead 3 rounds to nothing, and by 9 points (and since there is a flop in the tribes this week) we are simply flipping a coin and hoping that the “Survivor” Gods smile down favorably upon us. So, if the rankings seem a bit askance, that is the reason. Since there is obviously a tribal switch this week we are simply flipping the list with a flip of a coin and a roll of the dice. And with your luck, Mr. Holmes, you will lose by a larger margin.

Gordon Holmes: With my luck, I’ll break some of my fingers typing up my picks.

Randy Bailey: We also want to give you a chance to catch up so that we are not bored out of our minds by Halloween.

Benjamin “Coach” Wade: Uh oh, I know this better than anyone. “Pride cometh before the fall.” Hope this does not bode ill against our alliance.

And before we start this week’s contest, let’s honor the most recent castaway…

Coach’s Requiem for Jimmy Tarantino: Man, I hated seein’ you go, Jimmy. Keep that mouth shut, wouldya? Whadyatalkinabout!!! BUT…you played with your heart and soul, man. If only I could have coached you out there. Told you to tone it down, let me go in front. I feel ya when you are frustrated with the current leadership. There were so many other dolts on your tribe that if you had just laid low you would have made it past the flop and past the merge. But oh, whata character. You were by far the most interesting guy in the game until now.

The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: No way I can rip another applicant like myself. You would still be in the game if your wife had sewn your lips shut.

TEAM DRAGON SLAYER

Current Score: 46

TEAM TRUTH SEEKER

Current Score: 37

#1: She’s got the idol and she’s not goin’ anywhere. And, if “Survivor” doesn’t work out she’s a MMA fighter in the making.
The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Seeing a bit of a shift in her edit…going from funny cocky to arrogant cocky…she’s got three episodes left.

#1: The people who benefit the most from tribe swaps? Swing votes from dominant tribes like Alina. She could put the former Espadas over vote wise and make a run for it Susie Smith style. (Sorry, Randy. Does that bring up bad memories?)

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#2: Who is this girl and when will we get a sexy confessional out of her? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Nonexistent edit. We have to hear her speak before she gets voted out.		#2: Blah blah, Benry. What can I say about you? You’re lying low and are performing well in challenges. I’m thinking you’re safe.

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#3: This guy has more one-liners than Samuel L. Jackson. I replayed the shot-calling scene with my eyes closed and swore I saw flashbacks of “Pulp Fiction.” The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: He got some people.		#3: Oh, Purple Kelly Purple. You’re physically fit, you’re not threatening to throw prosthetic legs in the fire, you’re a good alliance member. You’re gonna be just fine no matter where you end up.

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#4: You seem in danger, therefore you are not. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: JP has been telling us for two weeks how much she is in danger. Give me a break. Mid jury at least.		#4: Hopefully the swap will give Kelly B. a chance to maneuver, cause things haven’t been good for her up to this point. But what does she do, cling to the former La Flors in her new tribe, or be a swing vote and join with the golden oldies?

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#5: Time to take off that leg and give NaOnka a beat down because of her mouth. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Kelly and Alina are joined at the hip (no offense, Kelly)…..going with Alina to mid jury.		#5: I’ve been petitioning the producers to allow me to grant immunity idols to players I want to stay in the game. When they finally come through, I’m sending three to Fabio. He cracks me up and is one of a handful of likable players left in this game.

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#6: Still lovin’ this guy. You are too likable to be going anywhere soon. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Perfect alpha male to be killed with a tribal switch, but edit says he is safe.		#6: I think Chase is going to be fine with the swap. Nobody really considers him to be the brains of his alliance, and they’ll want to keep him around for immunity strength.

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#7: I want more more more. What’s the edit not showing us? Smarter than we think, I think. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Sorry about the forehead comment last week.		#7: Now that Marty’s number advantage is probably shot, he’d better put that “Daddy” gimmick of his on the back burner. If the whippersnappers think he was the leader of Espada he could be in trouble. However, last week’s preview makes me think he’s safe.

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#8: Why weren’t you watching Chase when he went for the idol, and who is your alliance anyway? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Your domination (or perceived domination) in last week’s challenge is concerning. Call yourself Ben and I will like you.		#8: Jane didn’t vote with the majority last week. But, lucky for her, that majority is becoming a minority with the swap. Jane’s crafty, she’ll find a way to swing this to her advantage.

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#9: I want to see more survival skills! The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Hope the switch puts you on a tribe with Dan.		#9: I can’t imagine NaOnka’s trademark “fly off the handle at any little thing” strategy will be good for her if she loses her numbers advantage. However, she still has an immunity idol, so she’s safe for a bit.

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#10: Disappointed in how you handled Chase. Gotta get someone to trust you and stick with it, don’t flop before the flop. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Keep a low profile so the attention is on Na…when she gets the boot start playing…I should have taken my own advice after Charlie was booted.		#10: The swap could be bad news for Sash. I’m assuming it’s going to be one tribe of 3 Espadas/5 La Flors and one tribe of 4 Espadas/4 La Flors. Those aren’t good numbers for him. Outsiders like Alina, Kelly B., and Fabio could team with former Espadas to get out from under Sash’s alliance.

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#11: When’s the player going to start playing? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: You are safe…not sure about gay or straight though…waiting for Charlie to advise me.		#11: (See Sash)

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#12: At least you aren’t talking about quitting this time. King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Time to throw Daniel and Jane under the bus and you will go deep.		#12: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Holly might be in a good position in the game. The tribe swap could give her the same swing-vote flexibility that Alina has.

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#13: Strong alpha males usually get weeded out before the merge. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Reminds me of Aaron from China. The switch could destroy the strongest player in the game right now.		#13: Here’s a behind-the-scenes tidbit from my time in Nicaragua: Yve doesn’t think much of Brenda. She seemed to be writing Brenda off as a ditzy cheerleader before the game began. Yve should be very wary of Brenda if they end up on the same tribe. Shannon already learned that lesson.

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#14: See Marty’s comments below. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: The edit has shown you as playing a great game…let’s hope this is not to show how a switch can kill the best player.		#14: I’m noticing I have mostly Espada members on the bottom of my rankings, but that’s how flops tend to work. If Jill ends up on a tribe that has former Espada members who don’t like how close she is with Marty, she could be in trouble. It’d be a shame for her game to end like that.

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#15: You WERE playing an incredible game. One of the smartest guys to play, initially. You are playing like an all-star. But the flop flips everyone. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Hate to see him go, but it’s possible with the switch.		#15: If Dan doesn’t end up on Marty’s tribe, he’s done. The tribe won’t put up with him not competing in challenges. Only cuties like Courtney Yates can get away with that move.

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#16: See ya. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: “Dude still got ailments.”		#16: Swaps never turn out super-well for strong guys who lose their numbers advantage. I’m thinking specifically of Marcus Lehman from Gabon and Aaron Reisberger from China. Right now Tyrone had better be hoping that the minority alliance is accepting applications.

Quick Note: Follow Gordon on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news and updates.

What Do You Think: Who’s going to win this round; Team Dragon Slayer or Team Truth Seeker? Are tribe swaps unfair? Is there anyone left to root for this season?

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, jimmy tarantino, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview – Jimmy ‘Jimmy T.’ Tarantino

October 7, 2010

“If CBS was ever foolish enough to cast me in ‘Survivor,’ I would make it to the merge…easily.” – Gordon Holmes

I know what you’re thinking, that’s a pretty bold statement. But it’s true. I’ve seen every episode of “Survivor” and know the basic rules by heart; don’t be annoying, don’t be a leader, and don’t call people out. If you’re someone who can be useful in challenges, those three things are basically all you need to guarantee yourself a trip to Mergetown.

So why did Jimmy Tarantino, who is such a big “Survivor” fan that he had his entire town vote him into the game in the Sears Casting Call contest, make these rookie mistakes? I spoke with Jimmy T. the morning after his quick dismissal to find out why he ignored the three “Survivor” commandments, which Espada member is in love with Marty, and what he really thinks of Jimmy Johnson.

Gordon Holmes: How’s it going, Jimmy T.?
Jimmy Tarantino: Pretty good considering I got smashed last night.
Gordon: Indeed you did. However, it seemed like you picked up on how abrasive you were being during your farewell interview last night. Why didn’t you pick up on that sooner?
Jimmy T.: Jeez, in the game I didn’t think I was doing that, but certainly on TV they’re not going to show the days and days of building the shelter, or providing the food, or the stuff that’s less drama. I’d spend three days working hard, then five minutes after a challenge expressing that, “Hey, we’re not doing too well, why don’t you give me a shot?” But it sure seems like I did a heck of a lot more complaining than I actually did. I was just looking for a chance to right the ship.
Gordon: What could you have done differently in those challenges?
Jimmy T.: There was no question that in the beanbag toss that I would’ve won. I got to throw in ten tosses once I got in there and Tyrone had thrown about fifty. He actually got called out and wouldn’t come out of the game. Then when he finally did, I got about ten tosses and they were the longest tosses. I would’ve won that challenge, that’s a fact.
Gordon: So Jimmy Johnson did call for Tyrone to come out earlier and he wouldn’t come out?
Jimmy T.: There were a couple of times he called him out. He said afterwards that he didn’t hear it. So I yelled real loud, “Tyrone, give someone else a chance!” And he said “Be quiet, Jimmy T.!” So once again they’re portraying me as the squeaky wheel.

Gordon: You got onto the show by winning the Sears Casting Call contest. So, you’re obviously a big fan of the show. If you’re such a big fan, how did you not know that asking for a leadership role is usually a recipe for disaster?
Jimmy T.: I had the right plan going in. I planned to keep quiet and play it slow. But once I got in the game…I’m a hard-working person. I’m the kind of person who’s going to give 100%. It’s been working for me for 49 years to go in, work hard, and take a leadership role. It’s worked for me for 49 years quite successfully. So, it’s hard to not do that. If you play “Survivor,” you’ve gotta play with your head. And I played with my heart. We had misguided leadership and self-serving leadership and I tried to fight against it even though I knew it wasn’t in my best interest.
Gordon: At Tribal Council when Jeff Probst asked if you’d be willing to take a non-leadership role, you seemed very emotionally upset. Why did you take that so personally?
Jimmy T.: At that point I thought that I was going home no matter what happened. And I was overwhelmed with the fact that I had blown this opportunity. My family, my friends, everyone who had voted for me, I felt like I had let them down. So, at that point I was willing to say what I had to say to not get the vote.

Gordon: When we were in Nicaragua, you said your entire town had voted to get you into “Survivor.” I’m thinking this means you must be a popular fellow. Why didn’t that popularity translate into the game?
Jimmy T.: I know why it didn’t translate into the game. The game of “Survivor” isn’t like real life. If you do something nice for somebody in real life, they say, “Wow, that’s a nice guy. He’s considerate and thoughtful.” But if you do something nice for somebody in “Survivor” they get on the defensive. You’re trying to help them start a fire and they’re like, “I know, I can do it!” They feel like you’re trying to show them up. Every act of kindness was resented. Marty accused me of being paranoid, but I think I was a victim of everybody else’s insecurities.
Gordon: So, if you played the game again you’d play it NaOnka-syle?
Jimmy T.: Absolutely not. If I play the game again, and I intend to play the game again because I have the skills and the color, the best thing to do is get in the back of the bus and let the other people drive it off the cliff and jump off right before it goes off the cliff.

Gordon: Speaking of someone who’s driving the bus off the cliff, did you have any idea that Marty and Jill were the power players within Espada?
Jimmy T.: Jill and I had an alliance from the very beginning that she wanted out of. She turned on me like a junkyard dog. I think she fell in love with Marty and from there on did whatever he said. You can see in the last couple of weeks she’ll express an idea and Marty shoots it down. He doesn’t want to hear another word about it and she says, “Whatever you say, you’re the puppet master.” So how can you go up against that?
Gordon: When I met Jill in Nicaragua she didn’t strike me as much of a follower. Do you think she could be playing Marty?
Jimmy T.: Absolutely not. She definitely isn’t playing him. When he talks in the tribe he was calm and collected and Jill bought it hook, line, and sinker. I remember pre-challenges her saying, “Marty can do it! How about Marty? Marty’d be good at that!” She was in love with Marty. I remember saying in the side interviews, “I hope Jill’s husband isn’t seeing this footage because she’s falling in love with this guy.”
Gordon: OK, when you originally said “falling in love” I thought you meant like when a male and female will form a non-romantic alliance like Russell and Parvati in “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains.” Do you really think Jill has a crush on Marty?
Jimmy T.: I really think she was smitten with him, absolutely. Watch the last shows and look at it in that way. One person in “Survivor” says, “I figured out the clue, go get it.” Who does that? And he says, “I don’t want to hear another word about it.” It’s like he’s scolding his wife and she says, “OK, you’re the puppet master.”
Gordon: Do you think she can’t resist his sweet haircut?
Jimmy T.: (Laughs) Definitely not the ‘do, man! Even my nasty locks weren’t as bad as his mad scientist look.

Gordon: It wasn’t a unanimous vote last night. Did you have any kind of alliance with Holly and Jane?
Jimmy T.: Yeah, they haven’t shown much of Jane. But she was genuine, she was a great worker. We were good friends. She told me she had an alliance with Holly and they weren’t tricked as much as the others to follow the bad leadership. Marty just wanted to keep his hand on the wheel. He can accuse me of being paranoid, but he was afraid I’d start winning challenges.
Gordon: Speaking of Holly, were there any repercussions that came out of her sinking Dan’s shoes? Because in the past something like that is a one-way ticket home.
Jimmy T.: (Laughs) When she first did it, everyone thought she was the next target. But we won that next challenge and you know how quickly things change in the game. In ten minutes things can change. And please make a note of that miraculous ricochet shot I hit to Tyrone (in the Hay Mate challenge) to save the line drive Marty hit to me with the shields. I don’t know if anybody saw that, but that never got any play time either.

Gordon: Will do. Alright, it’s time for you to join the proud pantheon of those who have participated in “Survivor” word association. Let’s start this off with Marty.
Jimmy T.: Self serving.
Gordon: Dan?
Jimmy T.: Weak.
Gordon: Holly?
Jimmy T.: Sincere but…Holly’s a tough one to figure out. Holly’s a good person but she’s flighty and easily upset. Watch her blink when she talks, she’s a very nervous person.
Gordon: Yve?
Jimmy T.: Yve is sad. Yve’s got a lot of baggage.
Gordon: Jimmy J.?
Jimmy T.: (Laughs) I don’t want to be mean! Everybody talks about his leadership, but that was 20 years ago. Right now he’s a haircut and a tie and a face that doesn’t have a lot of sincerity.
Gordon: Jane?
Jimmy T.: Real.
Gordon: Jill?
Jimmy T.: Pompous.
Gordon: Tyrone?
Jimmy T.: Tyrone a little more complex than one word. He’s a good person with good intentions.

Gordon: What has been the reaction around your town regarding your time on “Survivor”?
Jimmy T.: It’s been incredible. I never was on Facebook, I’m kind of a caveman, I don’t have a cell phone. But I have a lot of friends in the community. The outpouring has been incredible. And on Facebook every second I get a new message, “We love you, Jimmy T.,” “We love you,” “Great job, you stayed true to who you are,” “Screw Marty, I’d like to beat his…” Every second, faster than every second there’s been support and love from my community.

Gordon: What do you take from your time in Nicaragua?
Jimmy T.: If I take anything from this experience, it’s the love from my friends, family, and everyone in the community.

Twitter: Follow me on Twitter for “Survivor” news and more – @gordonholmes

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, jimmy taratino, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Episode 4 Recap: Lead, Follow, or Whine About It

October 6, 2010

Last Week: Benry completed ten passes to lead La Flor to victory, NaOnka nailed Kelly B. with an illegal chop block, and Marty pulled a quarterback sneak that sent Jimmy Johnson to the showers.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The La Flor Tribe aka The Young Tribe (wearing yellow)

The Espada Tribe aka The Older Tribe (wearing blue)

•    Dan – 63, Real Estate Executive
•    Holly – 44, Swim Coach
•    Jane – 56, Dog Trainer
•    Jill – 43, E.R. Doctor
•    Jimmy T. – 48, Commercial Fisherman
•    Marty – 48, Technology Executive
•    Tyrone – 42, Fire Captain
•    Yve – 41, Homemaker

We meet up with the elders after Tribal Council. The rain is falling and everyone looks miserable. This doesn’t stop Jimmy T. from using some football analogies to explain why they were right to get rid of Jimmy J. It also doesn’t stop him from butchering Tom Petty’s “An American Girl” and annoying the rest of the tribe.

Marty lets us know that all you need to do is give Jimmy T. enough rope and he’ll hang himself. If this is true, I’m taking up a collection right now to buy Jimmy T. enough rope.

Note: Did you know “Survivor” wasn’t going in three-day increments anymore? You learn something new every day.

The following morning, the “Survivor” foreshadowing crew shows how rocky and tumultuous the Nicaraguan sea has become. Surely, rough times are ahead for the seventeen remaining Survivors.

Dan is having a rough time as his sneakers are starting to fall apart. He also says if they get any hungrier they’ll have to eat his foot. Smart strategy as I doubt he could get much slower in challenges.

Meanwhile on “Kid Nation,” (oh wait, that’s La Flor’s camp) NaOnka has made her first smart move of the season and has given Brenda the clue so she can decipher it. Brenda, again proving that my pre-game impression of her was totally off base, figures out the clue and uncovers the idol. NaOnka hides the idol in her sock…which is actually Fabio’s sock. So…maybe the idol is technically his?

NaOnka also threatens to throw Kelly B.’s prosthetic leg into the fire. Jaison Robinson is still bitter that Russell Hantz burned his socks, imagine if Russell had burned his whole leg.

Kelly B. and Alina go looking for the idol on their own. NaOnka knows their search will be fruitless, but decides to mess with them anyways. NaOnka confronts the duo and starts talking trash. Her goal in all of this is apparently to get Kelly B. to quit so she won’t become a member of the jury. She may also be trying to get Kelly B.’s lunch money.

That night we meet up with Espada as they’re having a team meeting. Marty introduces an action item that nominates Tyrone as the team leader at challenges. Shockingly, Jimmy T. has a problem with this.

Quick Aside: Marty’s hair is awesome. It’s like no two hairs go in the same direction.

In a confessional, Jimmy T. tells us how easygoing he is. He then proves how easygoing he is by calling Marty a “preppy, little b—h.”

The following morning we see a very depressing sight as the howler monkeys are calling out…and there’s no Jimmy J. to respond to them. Sad.

Reward and Immunity Challenge: One person from each tribe will be calling out directions while the rest of the tribe is blindfolded. The blindfolded players will have to retrieve 10 items and return them to the tribe’s mat. Once the team has all 10 items, they’ll have to send a pair of blindfolded players out to find a set of keys. Those keys will unlock a chest. First team to unlock their chest and return it to the mat wins immunity and three groups of items from Sears.

Sears: Life. Well Spent.

The Sears items include tools, a tarp, fishing kits, and an XBox 360.

I may have made that last item up.

Medallion of Power Advantage: If the MoP is used, La Flor will start with two items on their mat. La Flor elects to use the mystical power of the MoP.

Dan will sit out for Espada while the two Kellys will sit out for La Flor. (Aww…that’s one Kelly short of my favorite Woody Boyd song.)

Three “Survivor” points for whoever gets that reference.

Note: “Survivor” points have no cash value.

Brenda will be the caller for La Flor, Tyrone will be the caller for Espada.

True to form with all “Survivor” blindfold challenges, there are some spectacular wipeouts. Fabio and Marty in particular find themselves eating Nicaraguan soil.

The challenge starts off, and La Flor jumps out to a huge lead. Tyrone is getting very frustrated as it seems like Jimmy T. isn’t listening to him. Brenda must be doing something right, because the youngsters retrieve all of their items well ahead of Espada. After that, Chase and Sash seem to have little trouble retrieving the keys and their tribe’s chest. La Flor wins immunity and reward. They choose the fishing gear, a tarp, and kitchen supplies.

During the post-game wrap up, Jimmy T. again complains about not being used enough in the challenges. How Tyrone doesn’t stand up and smack him upside the head, I’ll never know.

Back at La Flor, Chase discovers a hidden immunity clue in the tackle box. He decides to share it with Brenda because he trusts her. She obviously trusts him so much that he has no clue that it has already been found. She eventually fesses up and tells Chase that NaOnka has the idol.

Politicking around Espada centers around Jimmy T. vs. Dan. Holly, Tyrone, and Jane both want Dan to go home. They like him, but worry that he’s a weak link in challenges. Jill wants Dan to go home too, but Marty argues that Dan is their swing vote.

Meanwhile, Jimmy T. is making the case that he isn’t getting enough play in the immunity challenges…again. Yve humors him but lets us know that she wouldn’t coddle her kids as much as she just coddled Jimmy T. Oh…mom burn!

That night at Tribal Council, Tyrone tells JPro that he thinks their immunity challenge plan worked out well. Probst immediately calls him on this. Oh…3-time Emmy-winning host burn!

Dan tells us that his knee won’t allow him to perform in the mud. Probst points out that they’re currently in a rainforest. Man, JPro is on fire tonight.

Jimmy T. argues that the tribe should mix things up. Shockingly, his idea of mixing it up involves putting him in charge of an immunity challenge. Marty tells Probst that he isn’t interested in having Jimmy T. lead a challenge.

Holly actually has Jimmy T.’s back and thinks he deserves a chance. Too bad Holly hasn’t been super high on this season’s sanity scale.

Probst asks Jimmy T. if he’s willing to take a non-leadership role. Jimmy T. looks like he’s about to cry, but eventually agrees to fall in line.

Voting Time: Holly votes for Dan (and apologizes for sinking his shoes), Dan votes for Jimmy T., Jimmy T. votes for Dan, Marty votes for Jimmy T., and the rest of the votes are lost to the magic of editing.

Probsty does his tallying thing and returns. Three votes for Dan, four votes for Jimmy T., and the fourth person voted out of “Survivor: Nicaragua” is…Jimmy T.

Verdict: OK, Jimmy T. got onto the show by winning the Sears Put Me on “Survivor” Contest (that’s probably not the official name). So obviously, he’s got to be a big fan of the show. That being said, how did he not know his annoying ways were going to lead to a quick dismissal? And while we’re on this topic, Jimmy T. won that contest because he got his entire town to vote for him. So, he must be a popular guy. Why didn’t that translate into “Survivor”? Or, is it possible his town voted for him because they knew it would get him out of town for a few months?

As far as the show goes, this episode was pretty dull. The “Hurricane NaOnka” we were promised in the preview was barely a tropical depression. And are we ever going to see separate reward challenges again?

Who’s Going to Win? Brenda’s a machine. She has a strong alliance, she has NaOnka and Chase’s full trust, she can decipher immunity clues, she led La Flor to an immunity victory, she looks awesome in a yellow bikini…

Power Rankings Results: Coach and Randy Bailey win another round. They had Jimmy T. in spot sixteen while I had him in spot fifteen. The current score is now Team Dragon Slayer 46, Team Truth Seeker 37.

Follow me on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news: @gordonholmes

What Do You Think? Would you have voted for Dan or Jimmy T.? Has NaOnka gone too far with her bullying? What affect do you think next week’s tribe swap will have on the game?

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, naonka mixon, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Power Rankings – Round 3

October 5, 2010

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Tocantins” and “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” star Benjamin “Coach” Wade and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” recapper Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sash is voted out this week, Coach will receive 10 points and Gordon will receive 4 points. At the end of the season, the person or team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Nicaragua” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Marty made it so the only way you can see Jimmy Johnson is on Sunday afternoons on Fox. Coach and “The King of Gabon” Randy Bailey picked it perfectly, having Jimmy J. in spot 18. Gordon wasn’t far off as he had him in spot 16.

Now, let’s have a quick word with our two competitors…

Gordon Holmes: How are you feeling about the game so far?
Benjamin “Coach” Wade: King and I both feel a flip flop is comin’. King keeps telling me this is reminiscent of Gabon. Let the games begin.
Gordon: I hope they’re careful with that. They did two swaps in Gabon and it really messed up a lot of strategies.

And before we start this week’s contest, let’s honor the most recent castaway…

Coach’s Requiem for Jimmy Johnson: Tell the truth and the truth shall set you FREE! Okay, so now I gotta tell the truth. For the first time ever the Dragon Slayer wants to be an assistant coach. Jimmy can I play “Survivor” with you and be your A.C.??? I really loved watching Jimmy J. and the truth is (for selfish reasons and to leave the COACH legacy) I only wanted one Coach to leave their mark on the game. And yes, that would be me.

The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: If there are gonna be celebrities on “Survivor”, then have an entire cast of celebrities. There is no place in “Survivor” to have only one celebrity.

TEAM DRAGON SLAYER

Current Score: 30

TEAM TRUTH SEEKER

Current Score: 22

#1: Totally safe. Not here or there so I know he’s going far. I wonder how much he had to pay to get the Hendrick’s logo approved on his hat!
The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Only #1 not for “power” but because he’s not goin’ anywhere.

#1: Marty’s the one making the moves, but Jill is pulling the strings. I like this strategy, because if the rest of Espada turns on them, they’ll target Marty instead of her.

	.
#2: See above notes (minus the Hendrick’s logo). The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: No game is a good game at this point.		#2: Brenda is like the La Flor version of Jill. If somehow they manage to lose control of the numbers, the first person picked off will be NaOnka (because she’s crazy) or Sash (because he seems to be in control).

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#3: The brains behind the operation, that much is becoming clear. If she and Marty stay teamed up I think she can tame his egotistical side and he can put his neck on the line and stay out in front. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still lookin’ good, don’t get too close to Marty the Mamba.		#3: It looks like he and Marty are having a bit of a power struggle, and right now that’s a struggle Tyrone won’t win. The only thing keeping Tyrone safe right now is the fact that Espada can’t risk losing someone who’s good at challenges.

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#4: Lovin’ this guy. You want the other contestants to respect you for your “mentality.” Oh yeah, that’s it. A mentality of too many hits on the crack pipe, maybe. I bet the scenes on the cutting room floor are classic gold. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still waiting for something intelligent to come out of your mouth but you are getting the people’s vote.		#4: Not much from the Biggest Bachelor in NY last week. However, if Kelly Purple Kelly’s proclamation that she only trusts the Minority Majority alliance rings true, then he should be safe for a while.

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#5: YEAH! Finally we get to hear you talk. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I like your game play but your forehead is too big.		#5: A lot of people are asking; why is Purple Kelly Purple in the Minority Majority alliance? How many people do you think have purple hair? It’s not a whole lot. Therefore, she’s a minority.

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#6: You are either the hero or the goat takin’ on a challenge like that. Your stock just went up in my book…again. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I like what I see, but someone who uses a conjunction for his name must have issues.		#6: Is Chase a favorite to win? No. Is he safe for the time being? Definitely. Is his “Cowboy Up” belt buckle (pictured above) twelve shades of awesome? Totally.

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#7: A total redneck with brains. Are you JT’s aunt? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: You are the older country crazy woman that we see every season…except you are missin’ the crazy.		#7: I’m not a big fan of Marty’s move to dump Jimmy J. I think it’s better to keep easy boots around just in case you find your own head on the chopping block.

	.
#8: Beware of NaOnka the Nutjob. She’ll kick your ass if you cross her. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Not going anywhere with NaOnka as your forefield.		#8: Benry needed some challenge magic after the youngsters dropped the Hay Mate challenge, and it looks like he came through with the sandbags. Probably didn’t hurt that he didn’t have someone like Jimmy T. constantly yelling at him to get out of the game.

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#9: You gotta admit you did go for the clue too. Wish you would have gotten it. If she messes with your leg you better beat her over the head with it. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Please friend request me on Facebook.		#9: I still can’t get a good grip on where Yve stands within Espada. She seemed genuinely upset that Jimmy J. was going, but wasn’t shown doing anything to try to prevent it. I’m reserving judgment.

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#10: Have you talked to Spencer lately? You are not foolin’ me. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I’ve placed a call to my great friend and foremost celebrity expert on all things NY AND all things homosexual: Mr. Charlie Herschel. He has not responded yet, but tune in next week.		#10: Fabio’s had a rough couple of weeks. His socks were stolen, he was given a bizarre nickname, his beloved St. Louis Cardinals didn’t make it to the playoffs. Hopefully once the Minority Majority can afford to shed some people they’ll boot NaOnka.

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#11: Wow. I know everyone is kickin’ your ass in the blogs, but being devil’s advocate, she’s like the new Russell, where every confessional is reality gold. You always have to have someone to hate and gurl…this is it! The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: I love it when she squeaks, she sounds like a dog chew toy.		#11: Marty must have plans for Dan. If he didn’t, why would he boot Jimmy J. first? If he’d bounced super-slow Dan last round, he’d still have the numbers to get rid of Jimmy J. the next time they lose immunity.

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#12: It’s only a matter of time. King of Gabon’s Two Cents: What are the editors not showing us? One week you are bat (expletive deleted) crazy the next week you are playing a great game.		#12: I’ve got to be honest, I’m not comfortable living in a world where Kel was voted out of “Survivor: The Australian Outback” because he possibly, maybe, could’ve-had beef jerky and Holly sticks around after totally, definitely, without-a-doubt sinking Dan’s shoes.

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#13: I love it that you are playing the game hard early…BUT…I see a showdown between you and Tyrone coming in the near future. It’s the Dragon and the Dragon Slayer round 2. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Very cerebral, making the right moves, no flaws in your game, no way you will last.		#13: Everyone’s giving NaOnka grief for pushing Kelly B. down. I disagree. Kelly wants to be treated like everyone else. Part of being like everyone else is being pushed around by NaOnka. But, if she needs to play the victim to stay in the game, I say play the victim.

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#14: See above notes on Marty. P.S.: Look ‘em in the eye when he talks to you. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Still looking good, look out if the tribes switch up like we did in Gabon. You are toast.		#14: I remember before “Survivor: Gabon” I thought, “Man, America is going to fall in love with G-C.” Boy, was I wrong. I thought the same thing about NaOnka. Something about the game must mess with some players’ heads.

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#15: You are clearly on the outs with your tribe. Pray for the merge. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: The edit totally shows you are in big, big trouble, therefore I know you are safe this week.		#15: I’m not sure how heated the exchange got between Tyrone and Marty last week. But, if Marty wants to keep Tyrone happy, we could see Jimmy T. joining Jimmy J. on the bench should Espada lose the next immunity challenge.

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#16: Put me in, Coach. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Coach Jimmy is gone, now we can see how much game you really have.		#16: Alina’s gotta be the dead woman walking at the La Flor camp. But, if Jill could find the immunity idol with one clue, maybe Alina can too. That (or a tribe swap) might be her only hope.

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#17: This game can bring you to your knees physically. Dan is starting to crumble. I don’t doubt that you have upper body strength so you better hope for a weight-lifting challenge for you to stay in the game. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: “Dude got ailments.”		#17: I love Jane. But the facts are Espada is a weak tribe that doesn’t have the Medallion of Power. If they keep losing challenges, the target on her back is going to get bigger and bigger.

Quick Note: Follow Gordon on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news and updates.

What Do You Think: Who’s going to win this round; Team Dragon Slayer or Team Truth Seeker? Who do you think is going home next? Is it fair to have two legendary Villains teaming up against one mildly amusing writer?

Tags:coach wade, jeff probst, Randy Bailey, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview – Jimmy Johnson

September 30, 2010

Note: You can’t tell from this post’s picture, but Jeff Probst’s heart is actually breaking as he snuffs that torch.

NFL Legend Jimmy Johnson has wanted to be on “Survivor” his whole life. No, I don’t suck at math. I know that Jimmy Johnson is 67 years old and “Survivor” just turned 10. But, Jimmy has been dreaming of a “Survivor”-style adventure since he was young enough to be a member of La Flor.

The good news for Jimmy? He got to live out one of his life-long dreams.

The bad news for Jimmy? It only lasted for three episodes.

I spoke with Jimmy the morning after Marty and his alliance sent him packing. We discussed his rocky relationship with that other Jimmy, how he begrudgingly became Espada’s leader and how Fox NFL analyst Terry Bradshaw would do in a sandbag-tossing challenge.

Gordon Holmes: Too soon, Jimmy.
Jimmy Johnson: I understand. I didn’t want to talk to you this soon either. (Laughs)

Gordon: What’s been the reaction from the Fox Sports team?
Jimmy J.: Actually, they’re all disappointed. I thought I’d get a lot of ribbing, but more than anything they wanted to see me go further. They’re irritated that Marty put together the group to vote me off.
Gordon: How do you think Terry Bradshaw would have done in last night’s sandbag tossing challenge?
Jimmy J.: Terry could have won the whole thing. (Laughs) If we had Terry tossing those bags I wouldn’t be talking to you today.

Gordon: Now, I’d imagine you’ve been hearing people say, “Put me in the game, Coach” your entire life. However, I’m assuming it’s never been more annoying than to hear those words coming out of Jimmy T.’s mouth.
Jimmy J.: Well, Jimmy’s kind of a volatile person and he obviously wanted to play a bigger part in the challenges. And it just didn’t work out that way. Tyrone was going to take most of the shots, but Jimmy T. kept on bugging me and bugging me. So, we threw him in there. That’s just his personality. Some of the tribe members wanted to vote Jimmy T. off the first week, but I convinced them to keep him for the simple reason that I thought there might be some physical challenges down the road.
Gordon: Did you know Jimmy T. was gunning for you?
Jimmy J.: No, I knew that he didn’t think that we had a great relationship, although I thought personally he was fine. I think he wanted to be a little more out front than what he was and what the other tribe members wanted him to be.
Gordon: They didn’t show this, but during the gutter challenge in the first episode, Jimmy T. was trying to distract the La Flor puzzle team by yelling instructions at them. This seemed to annoy you. Did I read your reaction right?
Jimmy J.: Yeah, I always felt like we needed to concentrate on what we needed to do and not worry about the opponent. But, like I said, Jimmy T.’s a volatile person and he’s going to be hollering things at our tribe, their tribe, anyone who’s around there.

Gordon: Marty was the one who pulled the strings to get you out of there last night. Did you have any idea that he was behind your early exit?
Jimmy J.: No, that was a real surprise because Marty and I had talked on numerous occasions. And I thought that Jill and him had an alliance but I didn’t realize Daniel was in there at all. I tried to convince them, I told them, “Nothing would make me happier than to see one of you win the million dollars. I’m not going to win the million dollars. So I can help you win.” I tried to convince them that I wasn’t a threat, but Marty still felt like I was a threat.

Gordon: When we spoke before the game, you described your strategy that nobody would vote for you to win the million. Do you think it hurt your case that Sandra Diaz-Twine used a similar strategy to win “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”?
Jimmy J.: I don’t know if the previous episodes had anything to do with it.

Gordon: What would you have done differently?
Jimmy J.: I think that some of the women on our tribe had started to come around to my way of thinking. And even though I didn’t have an alliance with them I could have gotten one with them, and in hindsight probably should have. I tried to make it through the beginning of the game without an alliance, but that didn’t work for me.

Gordon: You mentioned during your final statement that being on “Survivor” was more stressful than being in the Super Bowl. I think that’s a pretty strong statement.
Jimmy J.: You’ve got to take into account that I’m 67 years old, so it’s more taxing than it’d be on a younger person. But the biggest thing that affected me was not having any sleep. It was so difficult with the pouring down rain, and our shelter leaking, and sleeping on bamboo. Not getting any sleep really bothered me. And I lost 18 pounds in that short period of time.

Gordon: You told me before the game that you were going to do your best to avoid the leader role. That didn’t seem to work out.
Jimmy J.: I got thrown into it. In “Survivor” the people out front, the leaders are usually the first voted out. I told everybody, “I don’t want to be the leader. I don’t want to be the boss.” And after a couple of days there were arguments about the shelter and which way to do this and which way to do that and they said, “You’ve at least got to help us make decisions.” I said, “I’ll help you make some of the decisions, but you’ll have to contribute ideas. I’m not going to be the boss of this tribe.”
Gordon: Now were you a born leader or is this something that developed as you made your way through the ranks of college and pro football?
Jimmy J.: I think it just came through the years. I was the first one in my family to get a college education, and even in high school we had a very successful team where I had my first individual successes. So I guess it started back in high school.

Gordon: You’ve dreamed of doing an adventure like “Survivor” for you entire life. How did it live up to your expectations?
Jimmy J.: It was everything that I thought it was going to be and more. But it was more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I thoroughly enjoyed the adventure. I think it’s made me a bigger “Survivor” fan now than I was before the experience. But there’s no way in the world that you can watch it on television and really feel the impact of how difficult it really is. No sleep, no food, cold at night and hot in the day…it really wears you down.

Gordon: You spent nine days on a beach with next to nothing. What do you take back from that experience that you can apply to your everyday life?
Jimmy J.: I think the biggest thing is my appreciation for what we have. And an understanding for what people around the world (and even in this country) don’t have. When people don’t have plenty of food and proper housing…it makes me appreciate the luxuries we have here.

Gordon: OK, time for our first-ever round of celebrity word association. Let’s start with Yve.
Jimmy J.: Nice.
Gordon: Marty?
Jimmy J.: Conniving.
Gordon: Jill?
Jimmy J.: Smart.
Gordon: Tyrone?
Jimmy J.: Hardworking.
Gordon: Dan?
Jimmy J.: Hmm…maybe that says something about Dan, I can’t think of a word for him. He’s just there.
Gordon: Jane?
Jimmy J.: Impressive.
Gordon: Holly?
Jimmy J.: Emotional.
Gordon: Jimmy T.?
Jimmy J.: Volatile.

Gordon: Benjamin “Coach” Wade and I have been ranking the players each week, and for two weeks in a row he’s made it clear that there is only one “Coach” on “Survivor.” Do you have a response to that comment?
Jimmy J.: I went to “Survivor” as Jimmy J., not as “Coach.”

Gordon: Did you ever figure out what those howler monkeys were trying to say to you?
Jimmy J.: (Laughs) That was one of the more fun times, because the monkeys were fairly quiet until I started hollering at them.
Gordon: And given the choice between conversing with howler monkeys and Jimmy T., which would you prefer?
Jimmy J.: The howler monkey usually made more sense.

Quick Note: You can follow me on Twitter for “Survivor” updates at @gordonholmes.

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Episode 3 Recap: 3rd Down?

September 29, 2010

Last Week: In the undercard matches, Holly got the best of Dan with her “Sandy Shoe Submarine” maneuver while NaOnka bested Fabio with her patented “Sock Swipe.” In the main event, Shannon was putting his “Homosexuality Accusation” finishing move on Sash when his tag team partner Chase turned on him and joined the Majority Minority Alliance (man, that’s confusing).

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The La Flor Tribe aka The Young Tribe (wearing yellow)

The Espada Tribe aka The Older Tribe (wearing blue)

•    Dan – 63, Real Estate Executive
•    Holly – 44, Swim Coach
•    Jane – 56, Dog Trainer
•    Jill – 43, E.R. Doctor
•    Jimmy J. – 67, Former NFL Coach
•    Jimmy T. – 48, Commercial Fisherman
•    Marty – 48, Technology Executive
•    Tyrone – 42, Fire Captain
•    Yve – 41, Homemaker

Quick Note: Jeff Probst has promised us one of the meanest things he’s ever seen on “Survivor” tonight. I’m betting NaOnka tells Fabio the truth about Santa Claus.

We start off back at La Flor camp and the whippersnappers seem to be happy with their decision to send Shannon back to Louisiana.

NaOnka isn’t buying it though, she thinks the rest of the tribe is, “faker than faux fur.” In our pregame interviews she used that exact phrase to describe how she was willing to play the game.

The following morning we meet up with the elderly. Apparently they’re looking for monkeys. Their theory is where there are monkeys, there is sure to be food. Well, that’s Marty’s theory. Jimmy Johnson’s theory is that he can communicate with the monkeys. He hoots and hollers at them, but doesn’t get them to hand over the food.

Marty lets us know that he doesn’t like having a celebrity on his team. I’m not sure I follow his logic. Jimmy’s celebrity doesn’t give him an advantage. If anything it draws focus from other players and allows certain players and alliances to sneak under the radar.

Marty and Jill are next seen discussing strategy, she wants to reveal the idol to the rest of the tribe to gain their trust. That’s different. I kind of like that strategy.

We jump back to La Flor where Fabio is using the scuba mask to blow on the fire again. He tells the rest of the tribe that when he stands up after blowing on the fire he feels dizzy. Have we learned nothing from Michael Skupin?!

Fabio tells us his strategy is to be out-there and crazy. Mission accomplished, my friend.

Back at Espada, Marty shows everyone his immunity idol. It’s shaped like a key. I’m not sure why they didn’t name it the Key of Immunity.

Jimmy T. applauds this bold move…literally. He thinks this makes the tribe five times stronger.

Jill thinks Marty’s stock went up, which is good for her. Jill is smart, she has a power player in her pocket. He can make the moves and if the tribe turns on them, Marty can take the hit.

Next up, Dan lets us know that the conditions are getting the best of him and he’s worried that the tribe is going to think he’s a weak link. He says he’s strong, just not as strong as Tyrone.

(DING!)

Oh, sorry. My Understatement Bell just went off.

Back at La Flor, the Majority Minority Alliance is discussing who to take out next. They’re worried that Alina and Kelly B. might have the hidden immunity idol. A blonde with a purple streak in her hair who I’ve never seen before says she only trusts the core five members of the alliance.

Immunity and Reward Challenge: Both tribes will race into a field to recover 10 tribe-colored barrels. Once they have their barrels they’ll place them in a triangle pattern (similar to bowling pins). Then they’ll try to throw sand bags onto the barrels from a distance. The first tribe to get a bag on all ten barrels wins immunity and a “Survivor” garden that includes spices, fruit and other goodies.

Sadly, this reward does not include delicious Nicaraguan Tona Beer.

Note: XFINITY TV does not encourage drinking.

Medallion of Power Advantage: The mysterious Medallion of Power will utilize its awesome strength to reduce the number of barrels by two.

La Flor elects not to use the MoP.

I spoke with Rob Cesternino from “Survivor: The Amazon” last week. (How’s that for a name drop!) He had an interesting thought that every time you don’t use the MoP it’s hurting you and every time your opponent doesn’t use it it’s helping you. So, it’d make sense to use it every time you have it. I argued that in last week’s Hay Mate challenge, you got a 25% advantage (1 out of 4 balls) and in this challenge you’d only get a 20% advantage (2 out of 10 barrels). I’d save it for the bigger advantages.

But, he’s the “Smartest Player Never to Win ‘Survivor'” and I’m a jerk with a blog, so what do I know?

Jimmy J. jumps into coach mode and tells each player which barrel to go for. He’s drawing up the play like it was NFL game day.

The younger tribe retrieves their barrels first, but just barely. The younger tribe also gets their barrels into place first. Probst gives Dan a hard time about not being very mobile.

Tyrone and Benry start off tossing sand bags for their respective teams. Tyrone jumps out to a big 5 to 2 lead pretty quickly.

Note: They don’t even say Espada or La Flor on the scoreboard.

The younger tribe makes a comeback and ties it at six. Jimmy T. lets Jimmy J. know that he wants into the game. And by “lets Jimmy J. know,” I mean “tells Jimmy J. incessantly.”

“Throw it to Lucas!”

Benry goes on a tear and puts La Flor up nine to seven.

Jimmy J. pulls Tyrone and puts in Jimmy T. but it’s too late, La Flor wins immunity and reward.

As the tykes pick up their reward, NaOnka and Kelly B. both discover an immunity idol clue.

Sure enough, the second the two get back to camp NaOnka pushes Kelly B. over to get the clue. In the ensuing chaos some bananas were squished. Careful ladies, James was voted out over a much less serious banana-related etiquette infraction.

NaOnka follows this up by giving her own audition speech for “Heroes Vs. Villains: Part Deux” by telling us she’ll push Kelly B. so hard her leg will fall off. What’s worse? She didn’t mention which leg.

Back at Espada, Jimmy T. tells everyone that he feels his talents aren’t being properly used. Jimmy J. defends his strategy of sticking with Tyrone in the challenge.

Eventually everyone breaks into groups and starts discussing voting strategies. Marty tells us that he wants Jimmy J. out so the tribe will “Lose their daddy” and everyone will have to come to him. That just sounds creepy.

Jill doesn’t care who goes home as long as it’s Dan, Holly or Jimmy J.

Jimmy T. and Dan are both on board for voting for Jimmy Johnson. Jane and Tryone both seem to be leaning toward Dan.

In other news, Jane and Holly have created some kind of an alliance. Hopefully Holly took more than 3 seconds before deciding on an alliance mate this time.

That night at Tribal Council, Jimmy T. again complains about not being put into the challenge sooner. He also complains about not having an opportunity to lead. Look out, JPro. He may want to host next.

Dan defends his physical prowess saying he’s not the strongest or the weakest. Jill politely disagrees. Jane also points out that Dan has had major knee surgery.

Nobody points out that his alligator shoes are waterlogged. That can’t help.

Jimmy T. claims there are four weak players on the team. Probst asks everyone individually if they think they’re a weak player. The only person to admit to being weak is Jimmy J.

Voting Time: Jimmy T. votes for Jimmy J., Jimmy J. votes for Dan and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

JPro does some serious tallying and returns. One vote for Jimmy J., one vote for Dan, four votes for Jimmy J. and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Nicaragua” is…Jimmy Johnson.

And I’m not sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of “Taps” being played gently by a distraught CBS executive.

Too soon for “Christmas Story” quotes?

Verdict: We’re getting quite a mix this season. We’ve got Jerry Springer-esque players like NaOnka, Holly and Shannon and some really strong players like Brenda, Jill and Marty. I’m still digging this season.

But wait, what was Probst’s meanest thing ever? NaOnka pushing Kelly B.? Kelly B. wants to be treated like everyone else, and everyone else would’ve been pushed.

Who’s Going to Win? Jill has Marty thinking he’s the puppet master, but she’s the one who figured out the clue and decided to reveal the idol to the tribe. She’s a force.

Power Ranking Results: Coach and Randy called it, they had Jimmy Johnson in spot eighteen. I had him in spot sixteen. So, the current score is Team Dragon Slayer 30, Team Truth Seeker 22.

What Do You Think? Will you stop watching this season now that Jimmy Johnson is gone? Was NaOnka pushing Kelly B. one of the meanest things in “Survivor” history? Would you rather be trapped in a room with NaOnka or Jimmy T.?

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Power Rankings – Round 2

September 28, 2010

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sash is voted out this week, Coach will receive 8 points and Gordon will receive 5 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Nicaragua” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Shannon Elkins’s bizarre Tribal Council helped propel Team Dragon Slayer to a six point lead. Coach had Mr. Elkins in spot twelve while Gordon had him in spot six.

Now, let’s have a quick word with our two competitors…

Benjamin “Coach” Wade: I am going to continue to enlist the help of the King of Gabon (Randy Bailey). I have relegated him to only chiming in with one or two words but I think you will like what he has to contribute!
Gordon Holmes: I feel like there’s an alliance forming against me.

And before we start this week’s contest, let’s honor the most recent castaway with a new Power Rankings segment…

Coach’s Requiem: Shannon, I wish that you hadn’t been such a miter saw in Tribal Council. I liked your strong-to-the-end method but there is only one Slayer, my friend.

The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Boo, James, Russell, Who Dat. Tool Shed!

TEAM DRAGON SLAYER

Current Score: 12

TEAM TRUTH SEEKER

Current Score: 6

#1: The man begins to speak and it is with humor, wisdom and courage.
The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Shaft!

#1: He’s strong, he’s smart, he’s keeping his head down in a crazy tribe – Tyrone is playing things just right. His next step is to find a solid alliance (Marty and Jill?) to help take the heat off of him once they hit mergeville.

	.
#2: Not only is she flirty and sexy, now she starts to make power moves! My dream woman…doesn’t she kayak or paddleboard too? Helping to turn the tribe around so that crescent wrench would be voted out was brilliant. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Lucy Liu!		#2: In Marty’s favor: He’s building alliances with the few sane people in Espada and he’s got the game’s first immunity idol. Working against Marty: He kind of reminds me of Keith Famie from “Survivor: The Australian Outback.” Anyone else getting that vibe?

	.
#3: A little power hungry and Gordon Gekko-like when he found the idol. “I found the idol (big eyes) I mean WE found the idol.” Give me a break. Be careful; Plato said that “The measure of a man is what he does with power.” Nevertheless, I think he is smart enough to stay under the radar and savvy enough to herd the sheep. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Randy wannabe.		#3: Every week Brenda makes me feel stupid for underestimating her. I’m going to keep going back to how she worked Chase. She didn’t say “Let’s get rid of Shannon.” She said, “Why do you need Shannon?” Totally put the ball in his court. Genius.

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#4: Ridiculous to a tee, this guy is pure entertainment. I love the hair flips, the “duh” looks and everything else that goes along with his 100 I.Q. However the true brilliance goes to his tribemates that nicknamed him Fabio… PERFECT! The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Good ta see ya, Matty.		#4: Chase, you’re not high on this list because I think you and Brenda are solid. (In fact, I’ve yet to see anything that shows me she’s into you at all.) You’re here because La Flor can’t afford to give up any of their strong guys now that Shannon is gone.

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#5: Not sure about the edit so far. No confessionals yet which means she is either very boring or very safe. I pick the latter. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Yawn (But that’s how you win nowadays).		#5: The Biggest Bachelor in New York has to be liking his place in the game right now. He’s got a dominant alliance within a majority alliance…and it’s made of minorities. (OK, I confused myself.) He has to be careful not to let the others in on what’s really going on or he could find himself headed back to the Big Apple.

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#6: Really starting to love this girl. She kicked ass in the challenge, hasn’t used her leg as an excuse for anything and is starting to emerge as a player. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Time to put a beat down on NaOnka. I’m tired of her trash talkin’.		#6: Jill’s my vote for the most dangerous player in the game right now. If Espada heads into the merge with the numbers she’s golden. If they don’t, she’s the last person the youngsters would view as a threat.

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#7: Even though you are not being shown, I can feel you safe and tucked away under my dragon wing. Watch out everyone, he’s flyin’ so low he’s buzzin’ the “Survivor” trees. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Douchag (not a typo).		#7: Still don’t know what to think of Yve. But seeing as she’s yet to submarine anyone’s shoes or have a fit over not being listened to, I’m going to assume she’s safe for the time being.

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#8: Minority alliance…clever, Mr. Ladies Man. The question is, just how snakey are you going to get now that your snake is in foreign territory? The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Two people arguing at Tribal Council; one is a confirmed idiot; therefore the other one must be an idiot. (I know, I should talk.)		#8: So…whose side was Benry on? He seemed to be down with Shannon’s Alpha Male alliance, but he voted with Team Brenda. Verdict is still out on him.

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#9: Now that your girlfriend is saved better watch out and separate (not that I’m jealous or anything). The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Thank you for getting rid of that Louisiana (expletive deleted). Where were you for 19 and 20?		#9: Purple Kelly, Kelly Purple, whatever they call her has booked a flight on the Under-the-Radar Express. Some people may hate that strategy, but far too many under-the-radar players have walked out of this game with a million-dollar check to dismiss it.

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#10: Gotta come out with some more survival techniques to keep you off the chopping block. Not that you have to worry with Jimmy T and Kooky Bird Holly on your tribe. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Nice start.		#10: I think Kelly B. made a mistake at last week’s Tribal Council. She was very quick to speak up and say how much she trusted Shannon during his meltdown. Will this come back to bite her? I hope not, I think she’s adorable.

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#11: Growin’ on me. You are cute enough to be another Natalie White. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Reminds me of Jess from “Big Brother 8.”		#11: Jane will be fine…for now. There are way too many issues around Espada right now between the Holly vs. Dan feud and the JimmyX2 feud. But if Espada starts dropping challenges to the young bucks Jane’s days will be numbered.

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#12: Still not sure about you yet. You are on a tribe full of loons and buffoons so you are safe for now. I think you could go far unless there is a tribal switch and you end up on the wrong side. King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Doctors never win. Good luck.		#12: Poor, Fabio. His main alliance member spontaneously combusted while NaOnka is hating on him for having the audacity to be upset with her for stealing his socks. He’ll be fine though, I’m sure La Flor is on his side when it comes to Sock-gate.

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#13: On the outs, gotta dodge and weave and bring in some bad-ass woman power. Get in with the girls cause the guys aren’t goin’ for you. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: WHO? (Read above comment for Yve.)		#13: “Jerry, Hello!” You’d think a super fan of “Survivor” wouldn’t make the mistakes Jimmy T. has been making. We didn’t see much of him last week, but they did hammer home that the Jimmy Feud is still very much alive. If it goes down, I still see T. prevailing over J., but only cause T.’s more useful in challenges.

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#14: An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I’m waitin’ for you to open up a can on that crazy hoot Holly for stealin’ those shoes. I like your style. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Guido.		#14: Prediction: The man with the $1,600 shoes becomes “Survivor’s” sole survivor and buys a million-dollar pair of pants with his winnings. Yeah, probably not.

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#15: Such a character. I love it and I hope you stay but you gotta tone it down a little. Start wearin’ your hair in a samurai knot, it will help you think better. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: America’s vote my fat, flat, flabby ass.		#15: NaOnka is basically throwing her game away over a pair of socks. Seriously, just tell Fabio the socks are haunted and I’m sure he’ll hand them right over.

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#16: And I thought Crazy Sandy was crazy. Holly, you are giving coaches a bad name here. Pull up your bootstraps and act normal for cryin’ out loud. The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: OMG.		#16: Does Jimmy J. actually have any allies within Espada? It was nice to see him bring Holly back around last week, but have we actually seen him form any really strong bonds? That, and if Espada starts losing challenges he doesn’t bring much to the table as far as physical prowess.

#17: Awesome entertainment, if you like that sleazy kind of evil manipulation and trash talkin’. Quite possibly the lowest line ever “I’m gonna punch that girl so hard her leg is going to fall off.” How low can you go, baby?
The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: Starting to love her but won’t have much more time!

#17: “Oh, Johnny. Did you back the wrong horse.” Dr. Peter Venkman – “Ghostbusters II”

Yeah, I quoted “Ghostbusters II.” Wanna make something of it?

	.
#18: His snowballin’ isn’t stonewallin’ the Dragon Slayer. I’m not buyin’ his pep talks and although I could never coach like him in the NFL there is ONLY ONE COACH ON “SURVIVOR.” The King of Gabon’s Two Cents: “No jury is ever gonna vote for me to win. I know that.” J.J., you’re not gonna get close to any jury.		#18: In honor of Coach agreeing to be my Power Rankings competition, I had the players come up with their own “Survivor” nicknames. Holly chose “Hollywood.” I think it’s accurate because she’s stopped eating and she’s lost her mind.

What Do You Think: Who’s going to win this round; Team Dragon Slayer or Team Truth Seeker? Would you pay $1,600 for shoes? Is there room for more than one Coach on “Survivor”?

Tags:coach wade, jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, Randy Bailey, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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‘Survivor’ Castaway Interview – Shannon Elkins

September 23, 2010

There have been some jaw-dropping Tribal Council moments over the years. My favorite? When Dreamz broke his deal with Yau-Man after accepting his truck in “Survivor: Fiji.”

But “Survivor: Nicaragua” nearly topped that last night thanks to Shannon Elkins’s decision to question Matthew “Sash” Lenahan’s sexuality. Unfortunately for Shannon, his unorthodox line of questioning didn’t do much to keep him in the game. I had a chance to chat with Shannon the following morning to discuss why he isn’t a homophobe, what he thinks of New Yorkers, and what really happened to NaOnka’s socks.

Gordon Holmes: Now, in the first episode you managed to offend women, and this last episode you offended homosexuals. Was there a group you’re sorry you didn’t get a chance to offend while you were out there?
Shannon Elkins: I really wanted to piss off the white people.
Gordon: Some would say you’ve already…
Shannon: Hey man, are you gay?
Gordon: Am I gay? No.
Shannon: I’m joking with you, man.
Gordon: But if I were gay, I’d be cool admitting it.
Shannon: Exactly! Thank you, my brother. Thank you! Dude, I’m not a homophobe and I’m not a sexist. I’ve been married for eleven years, my brother. I give women props, they rule the world. I said nothing bad about women. But when people watch TV you’d swear they still believe in Santa Claus. It’s called an edit. All I wanted was for after 39 days for the men to sack up and bring home a victory for the guys, you know what I’m saying? I said women beat us in marriage. Are you married?
Gordon: (Laughs) I’m not, but I do have a long-time alliance partner.
Shannon: There you go. If your girlfriend is pissed off with you, your life is going to be miserable until she’s happy again. Am I correct?
Gordon: That is true.
Shannon: There you go, women rule it, my brother. And when Sarah Palin runs for president I’ll be wearing a Sarah Palin t-shirt.
Gordon: You said you’re owned in marriage, how does your wife feel when you say that?
Shannon: She laughs cause she knows she owns me.

Gordon: Now regarding your Tribal Council exchange last night with Sash, you say you’re not homophobic but it could easily be taken that way.
Shannon: As far as the gay bashing, I didn’t bash any gays. I didn’t say, “I hate gays.” I didn’t say, “Gays are stupid.” I stereotype, my brother. It’s like the show “Waterboy,” people think we ride airboats to work, we have no teeth, and we wrestle alligators for a living. Well people from Louisiana think people from New York are either in the mob or gay. I stereotype like everybody else stereotypes.
Gordon: Were you at all concerned that Sash was in the mob?
Shannon: No, I was concerned that he was gay and I was protecting my (expletive deleted).
Gordon: So, why even ask that question? How would that help your game?
Shannon: Well first of all, you know how an edit works, you’ve been around “Survivor” a long time. That’s not how it went down. I don’t have to ask Sash if he’s gay. Look at the kid, he’s gay. He kept on and on telling me I was a liar. He should have kept his mouth shut and he wouldn’t have been called out in front of America. I said, “Did I lie to anybody in here?” Alina is the perfect example, she told them she was voting for me, then she came to me and told me what they were saying. So, she knew I was straight shooting. But when Sash kept calling me a liar, I’d finally had enough, like I’d been interrogated by the police. I said, “I lied to you because you lied to me.” He said, “When’d I lie to you?” I said, “When you told me you weren’t gay.” That’s how it really went down. As far as me coming out and asking if he’s gay? C’mon man, nobody needs to ask that dude if he’s gay.
Gordon: You mentioned the edit, are you concerned with how the show might affect your everyday life?
Shannon: No, not at all.
Gordon: There was a pre-game interview where you referred to homosexuals using a derogatory term.
Shannon: Whoa, when did I use a derogatory term against homosexuals?
Gordon: It was in a pre-game interview with a different outlet.
Shannon: What’d I say?
Gordon: You used the f-word to describe a homosexual.
Shannon: You must’ve lost your damn mind, I’ve never used that word.
Gordon: Fair enough, I wasn’t there for that interview. What was your relationship with Sash like before Tribal Council?
Shannon: Sash loves everybody. He’s really soft spoken, a little sweetheart. Our relationship was nothing. He was going and telling Kelly B. I was voting her out. I say, “You say you’re going to be in this alliance with us guys and then you’re stirring up all this crap. What’s wrong with you?” There was one point where I called him out and he obviously didn’t like me. He had his minority alliance; he didn’t want anyone white involved.
Gordon: What did you think of the minority alliance?
Shannon: (Laughs) Hmm…I’ll answer like this, if I said that, they’d be going crazy on me right now. But because I stereotype I’m a homophobe. So whatever, it’s OK for him to have his minority alliance, I guess.
Gordon: Just to make sure that you’re getting an opportunity to get your side across, you’re saying you’re not a sexist and not a homophobe.
Shannon: Correct.

Gordon: What were things like between you and Chase before Tribal Council started?
Shannon: I knew from after Day 1 that Chase had a thing for Brenda, everybody knew it. In the game of “Survivor” you have to break up couples. I think we were strong at first, but then she had him. She knew she couldn’t play me like that so she went with Chase. Brenda is a great player, I hope Brenda wins. I hope she goes all the way.

Gordon: Last night you mentioned that you might have done better on the older tribe. Why is that?
Shannon: Cause I’m a grown-up, man. I’ve been married since I’m nineteen. I’m thirty years old. That’s a long time to be married. I think it’s five times the rate of people in California to be married. It kind of adds some years to your life. I had to grow up really fast. I was never a twenty year old.

Gordon: Last night NaOnka and Fabio went at it over NaOnka swiping Fabio’s socks. Can you tell us exactly what happened with sock-gate?
Shannon: NaOnka went out there and she caught her socks on fire. I had a long pair of socks like those Hooters socks that come up really high, you know like the girls at Hooters wear?
Gordon: Umm…I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Shannon: Aw…you’re lying. Don’t worry, your girlfriend won’t read this.
Gordon: We’re fine, she never reads my stuff.
Shannon: I gave her those socks. And Fabio had two pairs of long socks. He had a pair he’d use in the games and a pair he’d sleep in. I gave her my socks, then I found out she was talking smack on me and trying to get me out. I helped prevent her from getting blisters on her ugly feet and she wants me out? So, I got my socks from her. I went and buried them. She went into Fabio’s bag, took his socks and put them on. He finds out that she put his socks on and she says, “He’s too scared to take his socks off of a girl, that’s what kind of people you’ve put me on an island with.” And he’d just stare at her, and she went off on him. She basically sat him down. When you see him there he’s basically crying. She thought someone was sabotaging her or someone misplaced her sock. No, she misplaced her sock cause she found it later.
Gordon: Man, poor Fabio.
Shannon: Fabio is hilarious, he’s one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met. I know they show me bashing him in episode one, but I came back and apologized. There’s footage of me somewhere saying, “I love this kid, I hope he never goes home.” He was the life of the camp, we all laughed at his expense.

Gordon: Alright, word association time. Let’s start this off with NaOnka.
Shannon: Hard.
Gordon: Brenda?
Shannon: Sneaky.
Gordon: Alina?
Shannon: Kick ass.
Gordon: Purple Kelly?
Shannon: Who?
Gordon: Purple Kelly?
Shannon: Who?
Gordon: I see what you’re doing there. Kelly B.?
Shannon: Awesome.
Gordon: Fabio?
Shannon: Dude.
Gordon: Chase?
Shannon: Played.
Gordon: Benry?
Shannon: Obsolete.
Gordon: Sash?
Shannon: “Narnia.” Like the movie.
Gordon: “Narnia”?
Shannon: That’s how deep in the closet he is.

Gordon: Let’s finish this on a lighter note. As a New Orleans Saints fan, did it bother you that Jimmy Johnson went deeper into the game than you did?
Shannon: No man, we’re playing “Survivor.” He can beat me in “Survivor.” But on the football field the Cowboys are stinking it up right now. Jimmy’s a cool guy, he’s a cool dude. I’ve got a lot of respect for him. I’m not mad at anyone beating me. No bitterness here.

Tags:jeff probst, Jimmy Johnson, shannon elkins, survivor, survivor nicaragua
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