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WWE’s Brodus ‘Funkasaurus’ Clay: ‘I’m More of a Wallflower’

July 18, 2012

Brodus Clay (WWE)

“Unstoppable,” “monster,” and “fall of humanity” were a few of the horrifying terms used to describe Brodus Clay before he made his re-debut last winter. What we got instead was a funky fedora-wearing, talon-bearing, dancing machine.

Who knew the fall of humanity would be so much fun?

I met up with the man from Planet Funk this past week at San Diego Comic Con. While there we discussed his debut swerve, his wrestling influences, and more…

Gordon Holmes: You kinda took the world by surprise when you debuted as the Funkasaurus a little over half a year ago. Seems like everyone was expecting you to come in as a no-nonsense, derriere kicker. What was your reaction the first time you were pitched the Funkasaurus idea?
Brodus Clay: Actually, I’m more like the Funkasaurus backstage then I was the angry dude. So, when the boss saw me like that he said, “Why don’t you just do that?” I looked at him like, “Are you crazy?” But, my biggest problem was the dancing because I don’t know where cracking jokes and smiling and being silly and stuff had anything to do with dancing. But somehow they came together. The hardest part was the dancing because I’m more of a wallflower than an actual dancer.
Holmes: And who’s responsible for the talons?
Clay: (Laughs) That was me. There was some influence on that “Teen Wolf” and “Thriller.” But I have talons where they had claws. And they are furry and I am not.

Holmes: The Funkadactyls are the nicknames for your lovely dancers, am I correct?
Clay: Yes, yes.
Holmes: Did they have any advice on any moves you should be trying out?
Clay: They do a lot of crazy stuff and I let them do their thing. And they give me a lot of hints and tips. But I tend to stick to the two things that I know that I can do well. I let them be the technicians of dance. Because Naomi used to dance for the Orlando Magic and Cameron used to dance in a lot of clubs. So between the three of us…those are dance clubs Cameron dances in. Like with her and her girlfriends.
Holmes: Gotcha. This is a family site.
Clay: Yes, let me rephrase.
Holmes: So, we’re not going to see any full-on splits from you?
Clay: If you do, you only get it once.

Holmes: Were you nervous that you weren’t giving the people what they were expecting? Because all of the previews were like, “Look out, Brodus Clay is gonna come getcha.”
Clay: We threw the old 360 on them. One of my big influences, the Road Dogg, he was in my ear quite a bit. And the waiting to debut was the toughest part. We were in Memphis and he says “It has to be here, it has to be in Memphis. You don’t want to go to Corpus Christie with this. They’re going to hate it!” And sure enough they decided not to go ahead with it. I looked at him and said, “Corpus Christie?” And he said, “They’re going to love it there!” But when I first came out, I went through that curtain and there were a lot of mouths wide open like they saw a car accident. Some fans had some choice words for me, thus coined the phrase, “My bad.” The fans yelled and me and I said, “My bad” and everyone kinda liked it. I was nervous but each week it got more and more comfortable and more and more of me started coming out.
Holmes: I was one of those people at home with my mouth open, until you said, “Shall I get him?”
Clay: (Laughs) Yeah.
Holmes: And then I was on board.
Clay: I was just feeling it out there. Nobody ever talks to the crowd. What’s wrong with that? If you’re going to trash talk, trash talk loud. Let them get involved in it. They’re great about letting you know.
Holmes: Bubba Ray Dudley used to yell at D-Von to get the tables. That kind of stuff was huge.
Clay: People would go nuts! And why not? We got away from that.
Holmes: Your character is so fun loving, is there any difficulty flipping the switch and turning up the intensity for a big match?
Clay: A perfect example is if you notice when the bell rings I become more serious and more aggressive. I think up until that point, that’s part of the confidence. Mohammed Ali used to do all that showmanship and clowning around before the bell rings. But when the bell rings it’s time to go to work.

Holmes: You mentioned the Road Dogg as someone who helps you out backstage. Who else do you look to for advice?
Clay: Double A (Arn Anderson), the American Dream Dusty Rhodes, Fit Finlay, Dean Malenko, Jamie Noble, there’s quite a few. There are so many brains back there and everyone has their expertise. If I have a question about showmanship, I go to Road Dogg. And Triple H has made himself available and even the Big V, who is about as good a dancer as I am, is there for advice.
Holmes: The Big V?
Clay: Vince McMahon, the boss.
Holmes: For some reason I thought you were talking about Viscera.
Clay: Well, he did that smooth daddy thing for a while.
Holmes: And Vince swiped your moves for a bit.
Clay: When I was banned from Raw he did the dance with the ladies. And he did a good job.
Holmes: You’re not allowed to argue with the boss when he borrows your gimmick.
Clay: No, and he dances just a little bit worse than I do, so I’m OK with that. He didn’t reinvent the dance wheel that night. So I’m safe.

Holmes: So, Mattel just unveiled a new Brodus Clay action figure complete with all of your funky gear. What goes through your head when you see something you see in the mirror every day shrunk down to about six inches?
Clay: Um…wow! No way. Wow, this is really happening? I’m very excited as an action figure collector to have one of myself. It’s very humbling. I had to take a moment when I saw it.

Holmes: Your theme music makes a repeated request for someone to call your mama. How does the real Mama Clay feel about her son’s success?
Clay: She always wanted her son to be a biologist, so this is a tough transition for her. But she’s supportive. I think she likes it. She’s always telling me things I need to work on. She said, “Next time Big Show grabs your leg, you need to move.” I say, “OK mom, I’ll do that.” But you have to understand for her, ever since I was a kid my entire existence was wrestling. So, she’s kind of up to here with it.
Holmes: Biologist?
Clay: I went to a magnet school. I was kind of a brainiac when it came to zoology and animals and stuff. And I’m still an Animal Planet, National Geographic buff to this day.
Holmes: I feel like you could make the argument for biology, archaeology, Funkasaurus…it’s all in the same ballpark.
Clay: (Laughs) It’s all connected.

Don’t miss the 1000th episode of WWE Monday Night Raw this Monday, July 23, 2012 at 8 p.m. ET.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

WWE’s Zack Ryder: Kane and Eve ‘Basically Killed My Career’

July 17, 2012

Zack Ryder (WWE)

It was the feel-good story of 2011. In a last-ditch effort to save his job, Zack Ryder, the long-forgotten, fist-pumping bro from Long Island had turned his tiny YouTube show into an Internet sensation. He rode that wave of popularity to a thunderous ovation at the Survivor Series and a United States Title victory over Dolph Ziggler at TLC.

Then he was destroyed by Kane and dumped by Eve Torres.

Wave hits wall…feel-good story turns bad.

But things are looking up for the self-professed “Long Island Iced Z.” At the Great American Bash a few weeks ago he made Eve look foolish and ousted Kane to win a battle royal.

I recently had a chance to sit down with the Internet’s favorite Broski at San Diego Comic Con to find out what he plans to do next, the fate of his Internet Championship, and more…

Gordon Holmes: At the Great American Bash you were finally able to get revenge on both Eve and Kane. Was it nice to finally get some closure on those issues?
Zack Ryder: I needed that redemption big time. I was on such a roll at the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 and the whole Kane and Eve thing killed my momentum. Basically killed my career. So, to turn that around and get revenge on them was something I needed. Hopefully it’ll get the Ryder Revolution back on track.
Holmes: What’s next for you now that that’s behind you?
Ryder: The United States Title, I had that for a hot minute. I’d love to get that back. In 2011 I think I proved to people that I’m not a joke, I can be taken seriously in the ring. And hopefully by the end of this year I’ll have a major championship.
Holmes: A lot of guys when they make the step to the next level, they feel the need to shed some of the…I don’t want to say goofy…but some of the more fan-pleasing parts of their personas. I’m thinking of The Hurricane dropping his superhero ways and Rikishi dropping the dancing…
Ryder: Right.
Holmes: Is that a concern for you? Is that a direction you’ll head into?
Ryder: I think maybe in time, I can’t be the same old guy forever. But that doesn’t mean I’ll have to drop all of the parts of my character to get to the top. I think eventually I’ll evolve. If you’ve followed my career I was a Major Brother, then an Edge Head, now I’m Zack Ryder, I’m sure in three years I’ll be completely different.

Holmes: In coming up with these questions I thought of a merchandise idea for you.
Ryder: Sweet, let’s hear it.
Holmes: Remember the foam Steve Austin “What” voice bubbles?
Ryder: Yeah.
Holmes: We need some “Woo Woo Woo” bubbles.
Ryder: That’d be sweet! I’d take it.

Holmes: Your story is kind of amazing. You weren’t getting any attention, so you took matters into your own hands and figured out how to make social media work for you. Do they ever come to you for advice on how to make social media work for other guys?
Ryder: No. It’s funny though, now they have meetings about how to use hash tags or whatever. And I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” All this stuff that I’ve been doing for years, not saying that I originated it, but I’ve been doing it best. It’s cool though, I’m glad WWE is finally embracing social media.

Holmes: You’re obviously a huge fan of toys and pop culture, what with all the references you make on your YouTube show, so what was it like the first time you saw a Mattel Zack Ryder action figure?
Ryder: It was great. I’ve been a wrestling fan all my life and I’ve collected wrestling figures my whole life. So, of course a dream of mine was to be in the WWE and to have my own figure. When I got my first Mattel action figure I was ecstatic. I’d always check on the Internet and try to see the new lineups. When I saw the prototype image, it was one of the best moments of my life.
Holmes: I had intended to ask you if they were ever going to make an Internet Championship for your figure, but they just announced one is on its way.
Ryder: Yeah!
Holmes: You created that. That came out of your brain.
Ryder: What’s crazy is the Internet Championship is something I created for my YouTube show and I’m not allowed to bring it out on WWE TV. Yet, it’s on this WWE t-shirt I’m wearing here. And now it’s on the action figure. So, someone’s telling you no, but you still get to do it. It’s ridiculous. I love it.
Holmes: What is the reasoning behind not allowing you to wear the title on television?
Ryder: I don’t know. As soon as I got it made I showed it to some people and they were like, “Absolutely not.” I’m not going to put up a fight about it, if they don’t want to use it, they don’t have to use it.
Holmes: Cause I’m an old-school fan, and I know for a fact that Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Title was never a sanctioned WWE championship and it was on TV all the time.
Ryder: That was my argument! It’s just like the Million Dollar Title, it’s a gimmick. Obviously I wouldn’t be defending it. Unless of course Wrestlemania 29, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Zack Ryder against Dolph Ziggler for the Internet Title.

Holmes: The next big thing from Mattel is their Brawlin’ Buddies plush dolls. Now, when I was a kid there were Wrestling Buddies…
Ryder: Yes, Wrestling Buddies, I had those too.
Holmes: Is that the next step?  A Zack Ryder Brawlin’ Buddy?
Ryder: I don’t know if this is a spoiler…
Holmes: Oh, you’re going to get us in trouble.
Ryder: (Laughs) I recorded sayings for the Buddies so I’m hoping I’m in the next lineup. You know, the “Argh!” and “Errr!”

Holmes: Are you going to get a chance to see any of the sights here at San Diego Comic Con?
Ryder: Yeah, I definitely want to get out and see the Star Wars stuff and the Ghostbusters stuff. I’ve always wanted to come here as a kid.

Holmes: Edge had some heartfelt words for you and your former partner Curt Hawkins during his Hall of Fame speech. What did it mean for him to take the time to address you during his big moment?
Ryder: Edge, whether he knows it or not, saved my career, saved Curt Hawkins career. We were the Major Brothers at the time, doing nothing on Smackdown. And we’d pitched this idea to be Edge’s cronies. He didn’t have to say yes. But he put the green light on it and along the way we learned so much from him. And for him to retire and to talk about us and give us words of encouragement, it was very humbling. It was great.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 7

July 11, 2012

Image by @Survivor_BUFF

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s get this party started…

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‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 6

July 4, 2012

Image by @Survivor_BUFF

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s get into this business…

(more…)

Nine Things You’re Guaranteed to Hear at San Diego Comic Con

July 3, 2012

It’s once again time for Hollywood’s heaviest hitters to descend upon the San Diego Convention Center in an attempt to win over the pale, sweaty masses. As a member (somewhat) of the entertainment media, I’ve been to quite a few of these fiascos. And while the franchises change, some things never do. So, for those of you who only ever experience this annual event on G4 from the comfort of your couch, here are nine things you’re guaranteed to hear at SDCC…

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‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 5

June 27, 2012

Image by @Survivor_BUFF

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s (as Twila would say) kick it…

(more…)

‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 4

June 19, 2012

Image by @Survivor_BUFF

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s get this party started…

(more…)

‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 3

June 13, 2012

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s get into this mess…

(more…)

Four Cheap and Effective Ways to Improve Pro Wrestling

June 12, 2012

The WWE has found itself in a bit of a rut recently. Injuries and suspensions have left their roster depleted, storylines and characters aren’t quite popping like they used to, and nobody on the undercard seems prepared to grab the reigns and make a name for themselves. And worst of all, these problems are sure to become more pronounced when Raw moves to a permanent three-hour format.

Now while most proposed solutions tend to delve into specifics (“Turn Cena!” “Push Ziggler!”), I’m more interested in the little things the creative team can be doing to help turn the ship around…

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‘Survivor’ Summer Book Club – ‘Survivor: Vanuatu’ Episode 2

June 6, 2012
(Graphic by @Survivor_BUFF)

(Graphic by @Survivor_BUFF)

My Big Question: Back in 2008, Jeff Probst and I did a video segment called the “‘Survivor’ Question of the Week” where we’d debate the merits of a specific topic. One of those topics was, “Who was the least deserving winner in ‘Survivor’ history.” I chose Chris Daugherty because I felt like he was lucky that the female alliance fell apart when it did and I didn’t like how he misled people like Eliza before voting them out. The lying struck me as very unnecessary.

However, that was based on a four-year-old season I had watched before yapping about “Survivor” was my actual job. So for this rewatch, my main goal is to critique Chris’s performance to see if he deserved my worst-ever ranking.

And with that, let’s get into this mess…

(more…)