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‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – Warning: Horrible Strategy Ahead

March 7, 2012

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

Last Week: The SaLadies finally got the best the guys, Bill failed a puzzle after multiple tries, Colton might’ve told a few little lies, and poor alpha-male Matt had to say his goodbyes.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the two tribes currently stand…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Michael – 30, Banker
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

Quick Aside: They were hinting at big things tonight. Consider me giddy.

Business kicks off immediately after Tribal Council, as the Manotians are returning to camp. Michael is not pleased that they’ve voted off one of their strongest members.

The Zan Bros. (Troy and Tar) have a bit of a pow-wow where they decide that they have enough numbers to keep Michael around for a while. They agree that Bill is much more dangerous and should go home next. Shouldn’t be too hard to get Colton on board with that plan.

Another Quick Aside: Leif might be sleeping in a box.

The next morning we meet up with Monica as she prepares a delicious snail breakfast. Escargross? Nah…they’re starving, it’s cool.

Jonas and Troyzan swing by afterward and ask if they can make a trade for use of the women’s fishing equipment. The women don’t go for it, as they think feeding their enemy isn’t such a great idea.

Remember when people were afraid to make alliances on “Survivor” because it seemed mean? The game has come quite a long way.

Reward Challenge: Teams will take turns using a slingshot to shoot coconuts at a huge wall of targets. The first team to hit five targets in a line (horizontal, diagonal, or vertical) wins their choice of three rewards. The choices are pillows and blankets, a tarp, or donuts and coffee.

Bill will sit out for Manono.

Not a ton to describe here except for some coconut launching. A bit of a wrinkle is; it’s easy to hit the targets, but hard to destroy them completely. This leads to a lot of half-broken targets (or half unbroken if you’re a pessimist).

In a hilarious moment, Tarzan keeps calling Jonas, “Jason.” Meh…it’s not like they’ve been stranded on the same beach for over a week. Oh wait…

The score is even for a while, but the women eventually put five in a row and win the reward. The women can…not…be…stopped!

Tarzan is not impressed with this victory and claims that their win was all luck. The women brush off this diss and choose the tarp.

Hmm…as the women are leaving, Leif congratulates them. “Boston” Rob would not approve.

This week’s “Survivor” Original is my Power Rankings partner John Cochran! He is definitely an original. Here’s hoping he’s a winner this week too.

Back at camp, Sabrina lets us know how annoyed she was at  Tarzan for downplaying her team’s coconut marksmanship. (Markswomanship?) She may have said something derogatory about his rear end too. Since this is a family site, I won’t repeat it.

Meanwhile, Leif slips up and tells Bill that Colton was gunning for him. As you’d imagine, this does not please Bill.

Michael takes this opportunity to tell Colton that Leif was leaking information to Bill. Smart move, Michael. Colton shows off his sensitive side by referring to Leif as a “munchkin” and saying he needs to be sent back to Oz.

Quick Aside: Far be it from me to say what people should be offended by; but I don’t think people would be cool with Leif using a derogatory gay term to refer to Colton.

When Colton confronts Leif with this, Leif admits that he made a mistake. Colton thinks that move just sealed Leif’s fate. He then refers to him as an “Oompa Loompa.”

Sigh…

Next up, the teams receive tree mail in the form of a puzzle. Kat greets this news with a seemingly innocent comment about Alicia’s questionable puzzle prowess. Alicia promptly burst into flames.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will split up into pairs. One pair at a time, they’ll cross a teeter-totter to get to a puzzle. Once they’ve completed their puzzle they’ll receive a key. They’ll then return to the start and the next duo will go. Once all three duos have retrieved keys, they’ll unlock some locks and release their tribe’s flag. First tribe to release their flag wins immunity.

Jonas will sit out for Manono.

Colton and Tarzan make quick work of the first puzzle and jump out to an early lead over Chelsea and Alicia.

While Chelcia continues to struggle with the first puzzle, Michael and Jay complete the second task. Maybe Kat was right…

Finally, the women peek over at the guys’ puzzles to get a clue. Tarzan, as I’m sure you guessed, does not approve of that strategy. He yells out, “Cheater!” several times.

Jay, who doesn’t say much, gets in one of the lines of the night when he turns to Salani and clearly says, “You guys suck. You know that?” So much short-sighted strategy this season.

The women finally finish that first puzzle, but by then the guys’ lead is too great. Troyzan and Bill complete the third puzzle and return with the final key. Leif unlocs the locks and Manono reclaims immunity.

In the post-game wrap-up, Alicia admits that she totally blew it with that first puzzle. And yet, no apology for Kat.

Christina thinks this challenge disaster might work in her favor as everyone is annoyed with Alicia.

Later at Manono, Bill wants to talk to Colton about strategy, but Colton isn’t having it. He tells Bill off, letting him know that he’s wishy-washy and sure to be the next one to go home. So subtle.

Colton makes it clear that when he doesn’t like someone he doesn’t want to be around them or see them. Bill tries to press the issue, but Colton walks away from him.

Colton then comes up with the brilliant idea that the guys should go to Tribal Council instead of the women. Wait? Can a team give away immunity?

Anywho, he continues with this bat-feces-crazy line of thinking and for some reason, his other misfits aren’t putting their feet down to stop it. In fact Tarzan thinks this is a wonderful idea. Tarzan thinks Leif should go home because of his accidental leak.

Are you kidding me? Guys, you’re going to go to Tribal Council eventually.

That night at Tribal Council, the guys show up ready and willing to go down in “Survivor” history as the dumbest tribe ever.

I’m absolutely at a loss here. This is twelve shades of stupid. And my head is starting to hurt from banging it against this nearby wall.

Probst asks for a sane explanation as to why they’re there. He does not receive one.

Troyzan claims they’re there to vote out Leif because he let the cat out of the bag.

Leif admits to giving up the info. But he hopes that putting himself up for elimination proves that he has integrity.

Damnit, now my wall is dented.

Jay thinks the move to go to Tribal isn’t super bright, but he wants to stay strong with his alliance.

Colton thinks Bill is obnoxious and loud and that being a stand-up comic isn’t a real job.

Colton’s a bully.

Bill gets a little emotional as he explains his poor upbringing and how he’s doing everything he can do to get by.

Colton admits to going to a private, all-white school. Wait, they still have all-white schools?

Colton then takes it to a new level by saying that there is a black person in his life, his housekeeper. But, they treat her like she’s family.

Where’s the Tylenol…?

Bill finally snaps and calls Colton out on never having worked a day in his life.

Then, and this is good, Tarzan is worried that this conversation is painting Colton in the wrong light. Probst gets a nice zinger by saying, “Painted by who?” There’s a reason that dude has 40 Emmys.

Tarzan follows that gem up by ranting that race doesn’t matter because we have a black president.

Voting Time: Colton votes for Bill and recommends he take his broke (posterior) home, Bill votes for Leif, and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst tallies and returns; we’ve got one vote for Leif, four votes for Bill, and the fourth person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Bill.

Verdict: That was just rough to watch. It started with stupid strategy and ended with uncomfortable class/race ugliness. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get an ice pack for my head and take a shower.

Who’s Going to Win: Jason…er…Jonas.

Power Rankings Update: Christine Shields Markoski and John Cochran nailed it as they both had Bill in spot fifteen. I guess a tie is a step in the right direction for the guys. The current score is now Team Salani 46, Team Manono 34.

Programming Note: There won’t be any new “Survivor” recaps for the next two episodes. I’ll miss you all terribly.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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Posted in General, survivor, TV News | Comments Off on ‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – Warning: Horrible Strategy Ahead

‘Survivor: One World’ Power Rankings: Sophie Clarke vs. Jim Rice

February 28, 2012
Jim Rice vs. Sophie Clarke (CBS)

Jim Rice vs. Sophie Clarke (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of  “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Stepping up to the plate for the gentlemen this week is Jim Rice. He’ll be squaring off against the winner of “Survivor: South Pacific” Sophie Clarke.

Let’s check in with our two combatants before we get into this week’s rankings…

Gordon Holmes: So, I blew it last week, giving up four points to Dawn Meehan. I think it was because the sun was in my eyes.
Sophie Clarke: I like the idea of you being blinded by her radiance/brilliance.
Holmes: That’s probably more accurate. Jim, any ideas on how to get us back into this?
Jim Rice: The first week is always a tough one to pick. To get us back in the lead, I’m betting against Colton’s ability to execute any type of plan that involves secrecy, betting on the natural tendency of “Survivor” to even itself out with a female victory this week, and counting on Sophie to be way too overconfident with that four-point lead!

Holmes: That’s a lot of betting. But I guess that’s what you get when you have a poker star on your team. How have things been since coming back from Samoa?
Rice: I have been loving life in Denver! Life couldn’t be better.
Holmes: Good to hear. Sophie, what’ve you been up to?
Clarke: I went back to school in the beginning of January and am in the throes of exams right now. Just took an exam on Kidney and Respiratory Physiology and Histology today and am moving on to Digestion stuff next.

Holmes: Glad you’re taking time away from medical pursuits to focus on something as super important as the “Survivor” Power Rankings. How are you enjoying the season so far?
Clarke: I love the twist. I am not so keen on the characters yet. I need a bit more time to get to know them. It’s also hard seeing what happens in the episodes through my tears of nostalgia.
Rice: I love the concept of this season!  I think each week will get more intense as the decision of who to vote out depends more and more on who has tighter alliances with the opposing tribe.

Holmes: Alright, let’s cut with the niceties. Jim, let’s hear some trash talk.
Rice: Soph, you never defeated me in any individual immunity challenge on the island, and I don’t see that trend changing this week!
Holmes: That’s the spirit! Go Team Guys! Sophie, how do you respond to that?
Clarke: I won “Survivor”?
Holmes: Yeah…that is a tough one to beat.

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Sophie’s team will receive 10 points and Jim’s will receive 9 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than the male team does (like @Hawk_941 did last week) you’ll get a special shout out in the Power Rankings and the warm fuzzy feeling that goes with a job well done.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 16

Got any advice for Sophie? Drop her a line on Twitter.

Current Score: 12

Got any advice for Jim? Drop him a line on Twitter.
   
1. The female tribe let Kat stay last week despite her poor challenge performance and aggressive flatulence. If this didn’t send her home, what will? Kat is safe for now. 1. Often, the first person to go home on “Survivor” is the person who messes up the first challenge.  However, Kim was smart enough to put her alliance ahead of voting off dingbat Kat.  If Kat would have gone, Kim and her alliance would have lost control of their tribe.
   
2. Kim is my early favorite. I would put her at number one, but I think Kat has overcome much more (albeit self-induced) adversity.  Like the “Survivor: South Pacific” winner, Kim has a good head on her shoulders and seems to be the stabilizing force of her alliance. 2. After this week, we will see which group of guys has control of the tribe.  Either way, Jonas is safe, and seems to have a good grasp of the game.
   
3. Was the scene of Chelsea holding a pair of chickens by the neck clever foreshadowing of her dominant win over a couple of goats at the final tribal council? OK, maybe not. But, Chelsea is a member of the dominant female alliance, so for now she’s safe. 3. I like this guy and it seems like everyone on his tribe does too.  I think he is safe for quite a while no matter what happens this week.
   
4. Sabrina was tactless in her banishment of Colton from the female camp. To succeed on “Survivor,” you must be able to tolerate such trivial annoyances and hold your tongue. Jim, my adversary, knows this only too well—his game fell apart after he flew off the handle and yelled at his goat, Cochran, for a poor challenge performance. If Sabrina managed Colton properly, he could be the perfect final Tribal Council goat—her Phillip Shepherd! For now though, by virtue of her membership in the dominant alliance, Sabrina is safe. 4. Not making many waves and could see her and Kim going far together.  Then again, crying in the rain in the previews makes me question whether or not I should put you so high in the rankings.
   
5. Alicia is the least safe of the dominant alliance members. Like Sabrina, she seems to have an issue holding her tongue (remember her catfight with Christine in the first episode?) However, if she can confine her bitchiness and her urge to watch her tribemates drown to her confessionals, she should be around for a while. 5. Even if his alliance doesn’t take hold, he isn’t a target.
   
6.  Colton has the idol. But, unless he can use this fleeting power to strengthen his alliance of misfits, the idol will not keep him safe for more than one Tribal Council.  6. Hey Jay, do you have any flint? It would be a lot cooler if you did. (Sorry, I had to throw in one “Dazed and Confused” reference!)
   
7.  Leif is in the misfit alliance, hasn’t made any enemies, and proved himself a worthy challenge competitor last week. I can’t see anyone gunning for the little guy. I am worried, though, that Leif is too nice of a guy. Leif needs to start thinking about being more of a jerk soon or the castaways are going to boot this final Tribal Council pity vote magnet! 7. First, you never want to think you are “sitting pretty” in “Survivor,” especially when you think you are in a dominant alliance…of 4…in a tribe with 9 people.
   
8.  Jonas the Chef is another member of the misfit alliance who is safe this week. He is comfortably cruising along and hasn’t made any enemies. But to make it deep in this game and win, Jonas will need to make some friends too. I think he needs to start putting his culinary skills to good use and make those girls some peanut butter and chocolate! 8. I like this girl. “Managing the airheads.” Ha! You never want to be the leader of your tribe, even if the others appoint you, but you’re handling it pretty well.  If you can fly a little more under the radar in the next couple weeks, I think you’ll be near the top of the Power Rankings.
   
9. Last episode we saw Tarzan fire dancing in a speedo and moseying around camp seemingly in the buff. However, his outlandish behavior and almost nudity caused almost no discomfort at camp. In fact, it incited childish giggles from the girls and broaughter from the dudes. I think the last person who wore so little clothing while maintaining the friendship and respect of his tribe was Richard Hatch. Things are looking good for Tarzan. 9. Another person giving themselves their own nickname ala “Cochran.” You had better hope Colton can use his idol to get rid of Matt or Michael.  Otherwise, you’ll be following the other selfnicknamegiver Tarzan off the island.
   
10. Troyzan is safe this week because he is in Colton’s misfit idol-holding alliance. However, Troyzan needs to stay on good terms with the macho men—Jay, Michael, and Matt— who will be useful in challenges down the road. 10. Unlikable enough that a lot of people would want to take her to the end.  Plus, she is in the dominant alliance. And I love people who make up their own sayings like “bag of rocks” and go on to acknowledge that they don’t even know what they meant by their own fabricated saying. “You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!”
   
11. Bill isn’t in the misfit alliance and I worry that it is only time before the tribes get bored of speedo-clad Tarzan and his fire dancing antics and turn to Comedian Bill for entertainment. If you have seen his cringe-worthy character reel on YouTube (or cringed yourself when he read tree mail in a British(?) accent), you know this can’t be good for him. Let’s hope he has some Taylor Swift jokes up his sleeve or King Colton might banish this joker. 11. You’re safe this week because there are a couple bigger targets on your tribe…and you can “stay strong in the core.”  However, you didn’t want to try and talk anyone into voting off Kat because it would make you a target.  Too often, people in this game wait too long to make a move.  That will be you within a few weeks
   
12.  Jay might be the victim of Colton’s revenge of the misfits move this week. I doubt it though. Jay seems to be staying out of trouble and is less abrasive than Matt and Michael. 12. Four days in, and you already want to “walk off this island”?! The odds of Colton winning this game, as Artie Lange quoting Dean Wormer would say…”zero..point…zero.”   Colton, I can’t wait to see how you mess up having the immunity idol this week.
   
13.  If the girls lose, Monica or Christina is going home. I think the girls are more likely to keep tough, motherly, challenge-goddess Monica over Christina, the girl who dared to “flirt” (negotiate) for fire. 13. I really don’t know what to say.  I watched the last challenge for a third time just to watch Jeff crack up as you jumped in the water for the third time for absolutely no reason.  Then, at Tribal…Jeff: “What is upsetting?”Kat: “ My communication skillz” (I’m going out on a limb and assuming you spell it with a “z”).You’re cracking me up.  I hope you stick around.
   
14. If the girls lose, Christina’s days are numbered. She has spent too much time making nice and handshaking with the boys and not enough time brown nosing the girls in control. 14. Well, I know you think you have the “best camp in history”, but you are making too many enemies too soon, and those enemies are in both camps.  What happens this week will tell whether you are a pre-merge or post-merge boot.  Then again, you are definitely unlikable enough that someone would love to take you as a goat to the end.
   
15. Colton and the misfits (hey, good band name!) are going to boot one of the macho men. I will be sad not to see Matt on my screen every Wednesday, but there are about 24 abs to spare on this season. 15. If the girls lose this week, you are going home because the most vocal person in the dominant alliance doesn’t like you (and if that happens, I’m guessing that we will see a tribe swap in the near future).
   
16. RIP Michael’s abs. 16. The game of “Survivor” tends to ebb and flow.  That means the guys should lose this week’s challenge. While Colton’s plan of getting the 4 amigos to vote for him, play the idol, and shift the balance of power in Manono (dramatically changing the game in week three) is a solid plan and the best move he could make,  I don’t have any faith that Colton can pull it off. Guys lose, and Tarzan goes home.

Posted in General, survivor, TV News | Comments Off on ‘Survivor: One World’ Power Rankings: Sophie Clarke vs. Jim Rice

Dawn Meehan Accepts the ‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Challenge

February 21, 2012

Dawn Meehan and Jeff Probst (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of  “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Stepping up to the plate to face Gordon in the first round is Dawn Meehan!

Gordon Holmes: Dawn, thanks so much for playing. What have you been up to since coming back from the South Pacific?
Dawn Meehan: Survivor has shaped my life in so many positive ways. Not a day goes by where I don’t draw on my experience in the game; and I love that. Since the show aired, I’m back to being a mom to our 6 kids and teaching at BYU. And … if you can believe, I’m also giving a few motivational speeches at universities and professional conferences (Eeek!).

Holmes: Are you enjoying “One World” so far?
Meehan: I love the “One World” twist and cast! First, there are a number of REALLY strong players on both tribes—and that makes for great competition. And second, having both tribes on one beach just makes good sense! (I’m all for anything that encourages cross-tribal alliances. I’m also hoping there will be a tribe swap, too–to really shake things up.)

Holmes Are you jealous the One Worldians won’t have to burn their buffs?
Meehan: Heck yes, I’m jealous. Have you seen the picture of me taken just before I threw my buff into the fire (after professing my love for Jeff Probst)? It’s so sad! I look like I’m at a funeral for a friend. [Cue Elton John.]

© CBS, Monty Brinton, 2011.

Holmes: Look at the joy Probst is taking in your sorrow.
Meehan: You’ll be happy to hear that CBS did give me a new Savaii and Te Tuna buff after the finale’. I wore them for 28 days … to give them that “lived-in” look.

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Dawn’s team will receive 15 points and Gordon’s will receive 13 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, he’ll give you 25 “Survivor” Points*.

* “Survivor” Points have no cash value and cannot be redeemed for anything, ever.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 0 Got any advice for Dawn? Drop her a line on Twitter.
 Current Score: 0 Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.
   
1. I always root for the home team—and Jonas is my home team. There’s no doubt in my mind, Jonas is going to play a smart game. I thought he was hilarious in his first confessional, talking about how hard it was trucking everything to camp–while giving his tribe the impression it was a cake-walk. And I don’t know if you noticed this,  but he carried that Hawaiian Sling/spear like he knew what he was doing. My hunch: this sushi chef is going to be feeding his tribe. And maybe Salani’s, too (if he keeps up the bartering w/ Christina).  GO Home Team, go!  1. Strong first episode from Leif. He’s an asset around camp, he’s obviously getting along well enough with the Zans (Troy and Tar) to participate in their yelling contest. My only worry is that he’ll end up with an early target on his back because of his height like Kelly Bruno (“Survivor: Nicaragua”) had for her leg.
   
2. Kim’s in a good spot. She’s athletic, level-headed, beautiful … and part of The Salani Five Alliance (Alicia, Kat, Chelsea, Sabrina, Kim). Based on her confessionals in episode 1 (about “Girl Power”), I won’t be surprised if Kim creates a second alliance of five/six/seven this week. But even if she doesn’t, Kim’s safe for now. 2. Michael’s thievery really set these two tribes down an ugly path. They’re so at odds, it seems like they’re fighting over the stupidest things. Jonas gets five “Survivor” gold stars for appreciating that you catch more jury votes with honey than with vinegar. (Or, something like that.) If Colton upends the Super Dude alliance with his idol, Jonas could be in the perfect spot to pick up the pieces.
   
3. Chelsea-the-Chicken-Handler was one of my favorites last week. Having chased a chicken or two myself, I was crazy-impressed with her ability to snatch those pollos. Part of The Salani Five Alliance, Chelsea has proven that she’s here to PLAY the game. (I loved that she kept both of the chickens–and didn’t back down when Matt pressured her to “honor” their agreement.) Chelsea will definitely outwit, outplay, and outlast this week. 3. It amazes me that after 24 seasons of this mess, some people still go out there not knowing how to create fire. Good on you, Jay. You’ve restored my faith in humanity. It’s the other seventeen players I’m not so sure about. Anywho, even though I have doubts about his Super Dude alliance, I think Jay will be safe for quite some time.
   
4. You can tell Sabrina is a teacher … because she is definitely in charge of her game. She’s in the majority alliance on Salani (The Salani Five), she’s found Manono’s hidden immunity idol, and by giving that idol to Colton, she’s forged a cross-tribal bond that may prove helpful down the road. I think my favorite thing about Sabrina is that she seems so relatable. She’s the kind of female player I love to watch: strong, charismatic, and intelligent. I hope we have many more weeks of Sabrina.  4. Anybody who’s getting caught up in the guy vs. girl drama is playing a very short-sighted game. Thumbs up to Sabrina for not only being above that mess and being a part of the dominant female alliance, but for setting up a member of the opposite team to take out some of their strongest players. Well done.
   
5. “Fire Starter” Jay isn’t going anywhere this week. In addition to making camp-life easier for his tribe (starting fire w/out flint), Jay is physically strong, a member of The PYT Alliance (Pretty Young Thing = Jay, Matt, Mike, Bill), and he hasn’t ruffled any Salani chicken feathers. I’d say Jay’s in a good position to make cross-tribal alliances down the road. We’ll see more of Jay next week.  5. The Super Dudes might be in for a rude awakening if they decide to make Colton their first target. I’m not convinced that’s the way they’re going to go, but Bill should be safe either way. A guy with a military background and a sense of humor should have no problem blending.
   
6. We didn’t see much of Bill in episode 1, but we didn’t see much of Sophie in episode 1 either … so I think that’s a good sign. I just plain LIKE Bill. And I think he has some depth. He’s both a veteran and a comedian. (I’d keep him around for 39 days just to tell stories and jokes. Camplife can be so monotonous.)  Now, if his PYT Alliance can find a 5th member, Bill’s in for the long haul. Or, at least safe for this week.  6. Sorry, Mikayla. You can’t be my “Survivor” girlfriend for a season that you’re not appearing on. It’s not you, it’s casting. Anywho, Chelsea caught two chickens with her bare hands and is a member of the First-Day Alliance (FDA, for short). She’s super safe.
   
7. Colton is such a character; I would have LOVED to play the game with him. Now, even though the previews for episode 3 hint that Colton’s buggin’ people on both tribes, he’s got the Immunity Idol. And immunity buys you 2-3 more days in this game. So, I think it’s safe to say that for this week Colton’s sitting pretty. 7. I’m not totally convinced that Colton is in as much trouble as they make it seem. Why wouldn’t he work with Matt and the rest of his Cobra Kai buddies to get intel on the SaLadies? Why would Matt be happy with his non-majority alliance of four when adding Colton to the fold makes it a solid five? Something’s up.
   
8. If you’ve seen Monica, then you know 41 is the new 21—because I’m tellin’ you, this sister is fitter than any woman that’s played the game in a long time. Wow. That’s Girl Power! Even though she’s not part of The Salani Five, Monica does seem to be close with Christina (partners in fire crime)—and I think the two of them could EASILY align with Nina and some of the Non-PYT Alliance (Jonas, Leif, Colton, Troyzan or Tarzan) on Manono and take control of the game. 8. I’m putting Kim in the same category as Sabrina and Chelsea right now. She’s in a good spot in that if something goes wrong with her alliance, she won’t be the most obvious choice to boot first.
   
9. Don’t underestimate Kat. Not only is she downright likeable, she got some fire in her. I liked how Kat got involved in Tribal Council last week. (That’s not easy to do when there’s conflict. It’s also not necessarily smart, but it does show strength/fight.) In the preview for next week’s Immunity Challenge, it looks like Kat’s holding onto Christina—helping Christina maintain balance? If that’s the case, then I’m sure we’re going to see more of Kat. She’s a team player. And for now, that’s the name of the game. 9. Not sure what to think of Kat at this point. According to Alicia she’s in the FDA, but she seemed to take it personally when Alicia and Christina were arguing at Tribal Council. She’s going to need to pick a side and toughen up if she’s going to be in this for the long haul.
   
10. Matt confuses me. I want to like him. I really do. He reminds me of one of my favorite tribemates–Jim Rice: intelligent, charming, and passionate about the game.  Matt’s the kind of player who makes the game fun to watch. BUT, last week, I didn’t love his bravado/confidence/attitude. I’m hoping Matt mellows a bit this week … and considers adding some women to his PYT Alliance (because 4 people do not a majority make). That being said, Matt’s safe this week. 10. Sure, stealing from the women was hilarious, but it could come back to bite you. If I’m someone like Leif and I need to curry favor with the SaLadies, I’d happily rat him out.
   
11. Oh Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Why did you have to throw Salani’s love away? Yes, the game is outwit, outplay, outlast, but it’s Day 1, not Day 32! You have to build SOME trust with people in this game. And I’m just not sure Salani OR Manono will trust you after your five-finger discount on the camp supplies. But I will hand it to you, you’re in a solid alliance (PYT)–and you’re not going home this week. You’ll have plenty of time to mend fences. (PS: Are you related to TV Personality Adam Carolla? Holy striking facial features, Bat Man.) 11. Kourtney adored Monica…you know…before she broke her arm in 40 places. That leads me to believe that Monica is on the outs with the FDA. And unless an idol is found soon, being outside of the FDA might be a bad deal. (Also, as a “Mean Girls” fan, can I propose the nickname “The Plastics” for the FDA?)
   
12. Forgive the Flight of the Conchords reference, but every time I see Leif, I have to sing: “I’m a hip-hop-phlebotomist.” Okay, not that funny. Well, kinda funny. But seriously, the first half of this game is all about keeping your tribe strong and unified. And from what I’ve seen of Leif, he’s going to keep Manono strong and unified. We’ll see Leif next week. 12. Did Nina do anything last week other than get a Wile E. Coyote-style net mark on her face? If alliance-lines are already set, then she’s somebody who needs to hang back and try to get everyone else to start feuding.
   
13. I like Alicia because she had her alliance of 5 SET before Salani even reached their camp! And I’ll admit: The Salani Five Alliance looks solid. But my main concern is this: it takes time to forge solid bonds/alliances.  And this early in the game, I can’t be sure that Kat, Kim, Chelsea, and Sabrina are locked. (In fact, my guess is that Kim and Kat aren’t 100% locked.) Hopefully my worry is unfounded—because Alicia’s gameplay is fun to watch. 13. If the Super Dudes are safe, that means they’re probably going to try to bounce one of the more annoying Manonoans first. I’m looking at you, Troyzan…
   
14. Christina gets things done! I mean, first she and Monica steal embers from Manono’s fire–in an attempt to start a fire for Salani. And when that doesn’t work, she negotiates a deal with Manono–and GETS THE DANG FIRE! If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on Christina for Final 3, but that’s only IF she can make it past these first Tribal Councils and align with Monica, Nina and/or some key Manono members. (Because after last week’s Tribal Council “banter” with Alicia, I’m concerned that The Salani Five may push for her early departure.) 14. And you too…
   
15. I like Troyzan. He’s a strong physical player. And I know from his pre-game clips, he’s got a real passion for the game. BUT, he’s also got a lot of “alpha male” in him—and there just isn’t room for 3 or 4 leaders on one tribe. So, where/how does Troyzan fit in? Right now we don’t see him aligned with anyone on Manono (he’s not part of The PYT Alliance). And, will any of Salani align with him after he consistently mocks them? Remember his words to the women at the start of game? Or again when Alicia and Monica tried to barter for fire? Troyzan’s probably safe this week, but I’m hoping we see his kinder gentler side here soon. 15. Is Matt smart enough to see how valuable someone like Colton could be to his alliance? If he is, he may get an idol out of it. If he isn’t, he could be sent packing. Also, it’s way too early in the game to let something like Chicken-gate bring you down
   
16. First of all, let me just say that I’m pretty sure I was ranked 18th, 17th, and 16th in the first three Power Rankings last season. So Nina fans, don’t take my ranking as an indication that Nina’s not in this to win it. I just think–based on what we’ve seen so far–she’s in trouble this week. She doesn’t seem to be part of any solid alliance and I think she may have an injury (the cargo net to the face—ouch!). Unless Nina’s working on a separate alliance with 4 other members of Salani and/or some of Manono, I think Nina may be the next female sent home.  16. Why do I think Alicia is probably safe? Because the last thing these women saw before leaving for Samoa was Boston Rob taking a solid alliance from the beginning to the end. Why do I think Alicia might be in trouble? Because if I were a guy who found the Salani idol, I’d do the exact same thing with it that Sabrina did; give it to the other tribe’s most vulnerable player. That player is Christina and Christina would happily use it to boot Alicia.
   
 17. If Manono loses this week’s Immunity Challenge, I’m fairly certain Tarzan is going home. I just haven’t seen any reason to suggest that he’s an asset to the tribe (physically, strategically, camp-wise, etc.). And forgive me for saying this, but Tarzan looks like he may need the R&R. (Or at least a wardrobe consultant. That shirt is so Tom Selleck, circa 1980s, no?) If/when Jeff does snuff Tarzan’s torch, I hope he at least gives a Tarzan “Ahhahhahhh” on his way out.  17. Bad news, Christina.  You’ve really ticked off the leader of your tribe’s dominant alliance. Oh well, maybe your negotiating skills will serve you well on Redemption Island. Wait…there’s no Redemption Island? Better hope an idol saves you, and quick.

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‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Castaway Interview: Edna Ma

December 15, 2011
'Survivor: South Pacific' (CBS)

'Survivor: South Pacific' (CBS)

Quick Note: We’ve already inducted two members into the ‘Survivor’ Hall of Fame’s Class of 2011. Click here to find out who and come back Friday to meet the third member.

“Survivor” has a long history of people who have played “Under-the-Radar” games and managed to walk away with the million-dollar check. In many seasons Edna Ma could have snuck her way into the finals and been viewed as a winner when paired up with kooky Coach, brazen Brandon, or ambitious Albert

But this wasn’t that season.

The Upolu five stayed strong to their first-night alliance and rode it all the way to the end. Good news for them, bad news for Edna. I spoke with the doomed sixth person the morning after her elimination and found out where she thought she stood in the alliance, how she feels about the way religion is being tossed around, and why my “Survivor” word association is so darn intimidating…

Gordon Holmes: Last night was…uh…something. How do you feel about the way Upolu was using religion to justify their decisions?
Edna Ma: I find it was much more heavy-handed then I realized when I was inside the game. I mean, obviously there was a lot of praying in the game when I was present, but I didn’t realize that there was all this other praying that was going on when they were by themselves. I think that when you’re in the game of “Survivor” there’s not really much you can hang onto except for your spiritual thoughts. But, that being said, historically in the thousands of years of humankind, religion has been used to control people and their behavior – for good and bad reasons. But, it’s not an uncommon tool that people have used.
Holmes: Do you consider yourself to be religious?
Ma: I’d consider myself to be more spiritual than religious.
Holmes: Did it bother you to see things like Coach praying for an idol that was in his pocket?
Ma: It was very disappointing to see Coach praying for an idol that was in his pocket. And then to see that he said something like he prayed three times and each time God gave him the same name. Wasn’t he saying Brandon’s name before he started praying? It seems so hypocritical in that instance.

Holmes: What was your relationship with Coach like? Obviously you two got along before the merge, but did he continue to be someone you trusted?
Ma: He’s very much a coach. His name is very much how he is. He was trying to coach Brandon on how not to be so disruptive and he got along very well with Sophie and Albert because they all played sports and Albert was a coach himself. I think later on after the merge my relationship with him became a little more unpredictable. It wasn’t as strong. That’s why I refused to believe I was sixth in the alliance.

Holmes: You were criticized for seeming to be OK with being on the bottom of the Upolu totem pole. Was that how you saw your standing during the game?
Ma: The game of “Survivor” is very dynamic. Everything changes on an hourly basis. So, I didn’t think people would be holding onto that first-day, five-person alliance when it was day thirty. And I actually thought they’d be a little more fluid.
Holmes: Once it was out in the open that you were the next to go, were there any cracks that you could have tried to manipulate?
Ma: I knew that my leverage in the game would be obliterated once Cochran was gone. So, I did my best to try to save him and try to engage Albert and Coach in a vote to save him. I knew if we saved Cochran that I’d have more control over the game. And Cochran really made a big sacrifice. I tried to get people to evaluate what their plan was after I was gone. It was going to be an Upolu implosion. It was very frustrating to get people to try to think differently.

Holmes: Now, this is a family site, but I wanted to discuss a point in the game where you’d promised to eat Coach’s…fecal matter if things didn’t go your way.
Ma: (Laughs) I think that was technically blurred, so that could have been Coach’s toenail or something like that.
Holmes: OK, good. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t forced to live up to that.
Ma: Of course not. Most verbal contracts in the game of “Survivor” cannot be enforced.

Holmes: I know you’re an accomplished inventor with your BareEase & Cream and Numb Nuts numbing creams and your sweet Tree Mail hat. Were there any other “Survivor” innovations you were responsible for during your time in the game?
Ma: I sewed up Albert’s trousers which he broke during the weights challenge. He was walking around with his pants open…um…it was not a family show. But I helped fix his trousers with some fishing line.

Holmes: Alright, we do a word association here…
Ma: I’m familiar.
Holmes: Excellent!
Ma: I’ve been anticipating it. But, I do have a question for you…
Holmes: Shoot.
Ma: I have been omitted for the last two weeks.
Holmes: What?! Oh…that’s embarrassing. But know going forward that you’ll totally be included in the finale interviews.
Ma: (laughs) I just wanted to tease you a little bit.
Holmes: God told me to leave you out. Alright, let’s start with Sophie.
Ma: Sophie is a very confident individual.
Holmes: Rick?
Ma: He’s a bit of a mystery. It was hard to engage with him regarding the game. If it didn’t involve his ranch I didn’t know what to talk to him about.
Holmes: Cochran?
Ma: Cochran is very endearing.
Holmes: Ozzy?
Ma: Free spirited.
Holmes: Brandon?
Ma: God fearing.
Holmes: Albert?
Ma: A paper tiger. Idle.

Holmes: Now if I remember correctly; getting on “Survivor” wasn’t your first goal.  
Ma: Getting on “Survivor” was an accident. I’m friends with Mick Trimming (“Survivor: Samoa”), he and I took residency together and I was trying to inquire on how to get on “Shark Tank” so I could bring more awareness to my business. And he suggested that there was a final casting for “Survivor.” I figured I’d try it out, what’s the worst thing that could happen? I could get cast on “Survivor.” And that’s exactly what happened!
Holmes: What was it like to end up with this totally different experience?
Ma: I think I surprised myself and my entire family when I got as far as I did. I thought it’d be smooth sailing once you get to the merge because usually after the merge you keep the people who are physically less threatening. What I did learn is that you can’t control everything around you and you can’t control the actions of an individual or the system. But I also did learn that I’m capable of more things if I just put my mind to it.

Holmes: Thanks for your time; I can’t wait to see how you do on the jury this Sunday.
Ma: This interview was actually not so painful. I was afraid of yours actually.
Holmes: Really? Why?
Ma: The word association.
Holmes: Understood. I’m very intimidating.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Power Rankings – Week 12

December 13, 2011
'Survivor: South Pacific' (CBS)

'Survivor: South Pacific' (CBS)

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Albert is voted out this week, Andrea will receive 4 points and Gordon will receive 3 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: South Pacific” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Andrea picked it again last week. Both players had Edna going home. However, Andrea had Ozzy winning at Redemption Island while Gordon chose Cochran. The current score is tied; Team Boehlke 152, Team Holmes 152.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, (like @SherriErwin, @the_timgilmore, and @JohnSActon did last week) he’ll give you 25 “Survivor” Points*.

* “Survivor” Points have no cash value and cannot be redeemed for anything, ever.

teamboehlke . TEAMHOLMES
Current Score: 152 Got any advice for Andrea? Drop her a line on Twitter.
 . Current Score: 152 Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.
COACH . COACH
#1 Coach: And then there were five! Not just any five.  The CRABS alliance has prevailed and Coach appears to be a lock for the finals. So far nobody has brought up targeting him, he seems to have everyone buying into the ‘loyalty’ gig, and he also has an idol. Although I give him props for keeping his CRABS intact, I’m very curious to see who he thinks he can beat in the end. . #1 Coach: When I interviewed Coach before the season started, I told him I didn’t want to interview him again until after the finale. It looks like he has accomplished that feat. There’s no way he’s going home next unless he does it Ozzy-style with an idol in his pocket. But speaking of Ozzy; why would Coach make him a final-three promise? To sway Ozzy’s vote if he doesn’t make it back from Redemption? Seems risky.
SOPHIE2 . SOPHIE2
#2 Sophie: Sophie has done great this season and has been a consistent Power Rankings Goddess. She seems to be pretty aware of her surroundings and may just slip into that Final 3. I have been a Sophie fan the entire season, so I’d be satisfied if Sophie was the ‘winner, winner, chicken dinner.’ . #2 Sophie: So, if Cochran is to be believed; Albert keeps coming up with ways to shake up the game, and Sophie keeps shooting them down. I think when it’s all said and done, Sophie’s going to be remembered as the silent manipulator of this game. And if she can get to the end, she can win if she convinces people she wasn’t a coattail rider.
BRANDON . albert
#3 Brandon: At this point, I can’t see anyone on the jury voting for Brandon—I actually don’t see a scenario where he could win. Who wouldn’t want to bring him to the Final 3? His FTC speech would be epic; I’d bring him there just to see what he pulls out. . #3 Albert: I have to admit, I have this Ozzy-to-the-finals thing stuck in my head. Is Coach determined to take the best to the end? Does that mean staying loyal to Sobert? Is he willing to cast Brickdon aside and incur the wrath of Lil’ Hantz on the jury? Well, let it never be said that the Dragon Slayer is dull.
albert . BRANDON
#4 Albert: As much as a SAC final three would make my day/season, I don’t know that anyone would want to bring Albert to the finals over Brandon/Coach/Rick. However, Albert is smart and aware and he also could go on an immunity run. . #4 Brandon: In any other season, Brandon would have been a shoo-in to make the finals. But who knows what’s going to happen with Coach getting all noble. However, you do have to admit that Brandon as a jury member would be five-star hilarious.
RICK .
#5 Rick: All we have gotten from Rick this season are a few comments about Prince Albert and a butt grab, so I’m not really sure how to rank him anymore. My instinct is telling me that his days are numbered. Maybe he will have a break out episode and we will hear him talk, maybe even yell? I don’t know if I could handle that, I might faint. . #5 Rick: What does it say about someone when their biggest move all season is groping their own wife? Oh well, at least he was entertaining…for once. Good luck at Redemption where you’re sure to face…Edna?
OZZY .
Redemption Island Pick – Ozzy: I have faith in Ozzy. I would personally rather have a Final 6 of the COBRAS than the BRACES. Let’s be real. . Redemption Island Pick – Edna: Um…did last week’s preview really show Edna winning? That can’t be right, can it? Editing tricks? Hollywood magic? (Man, if I lose this season by one point…)

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