‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Round 4 – Tony or Faux-ny? Edition

October 23, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the players will earn. For example, if Mike is voted out this episode, Aubry will receive two points and Gordon will receive four points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Aubry Bracco had Alan in spot 6, Gordon Holmes had him in spot 13. The current score is Team Bracco 34, Team Holmes 37.

Quick Note: Rankings are not based on who the player thinks is most likely to win. The smart strategy is to rank the contestants based on who is the most likely to be voted out in the next episode.​

Some Quick Aubry Thoughts: Whoever composed the score and shot the whale footage: The music this season couldn’t be better. The good news is it’s never at risk of getting voted out, and that’s A-okay in my book. Oh, and the insanely incredible whale footage? Same goes for that. It’s here to stay, and I’m not complaining.

Aubry’s Score = 34

Any questions for Aubry? Drop her a line on Twitter: @aubrybracco

Gordon’s Score = 37

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
1. Ryan: Ryan’s got his spiffy glasses out, and he’s found his Chrissy. Things are seemingly going swimmingly for Ryan and his momager. 1. Ryan: Wow, that super idol could not have possibly been played better by someone on a tribe that didn’t go to that first Tribal. You used it to make strong alliances with Devon and Chrissy. Well done.
2. Mike: Mike in the middle is the name of the game. With a showmance on one side and the outsiders pulling on the other (plus an idol in the mix), Dr. Mike’s pulse is healthy. 2. Chrissy: Ending up on a tribe with JP wasn’t your best-case scenario, but you did end up with your secret admirer. And, being in debt to someone is a strong card to play. “I’d never turn on you after what you did for me,” has a nice ring to it.
3. Chrissy:  Chrissy’s in the same boat as Ryan. She might be far from her bestie, Ben, but she’s already on to her “Survivor Soulmates, The Sequel” in Ryan. 3. Ali: Don’t mind me, I’m just soaking in the sun…while sneakily being on top of every tribe I end up on. Ali is money and I’m feeling great about my winner pick…for once in my life.
4. Ali: We didn’t get too much from Ali this week, and after taming the dragon that was Patrick, I’d say that’s a good thing. Sometimes, being the quiet one is the most powerful you can be. 4. Mike: I’m not a fan of CBS revealing Mike’s idol find in a trailer, but it’s fair game for Power Rankings. Anywho, Jessica is probably in the market for a new best buddy, and that can easily be you. Just promise me you won’t tell Cole.
5. Lauren: I may be putting her a little high in some people’s eyes, but I’m loving everything about Lauren. Her instincts about who’s full of crap and isn’t; how to appropriately rock the apple cart; and intuition about who is and isn’t naturally pairing up is on point. 5. Jessica: Ya just can’t trust Funky Cole Medders with any information. Hopefully that’s crystal clear at this point. I’d still work with him, but I’d keep him on a short leash.
6. Devon: Sure, his starting position on this new tribe was scary. Yes, he was blocked from a vote, but now that he survived that one, it should be smooth sailing for awhile.  6. Cole: You are on a tribe of five, someone has to be on the bottom. HAS TO BE! And that person will use the secret you shared with them to make you look bad. AND THEY DID! You probably ruined your prospects in the game to get closer to someone who is going home if you lose a single immunity challenge. Urgh! You should be so much lower on this list, but I still think you’re safe for a while.
7. Ben: Ben seems to be holding steady even when in the minority — he’s assertive but not overdoing it. Is there stormy weather ahead though? It looks like the mental aspect of “Survivor” could creep up on him next week. 7. Devon: It’s a good thing I’m not in charge of “Survivor” audio, because when Devon pulled out the no-vote, the crickets SFX would have been deafening. That or the sad “Wah wah wah” trumpet. Now you’re on an odd-numbered tribe with a definite two/two split. Maybe it’s time to get to know Desi better and see which way she wants to go.
8. Roark: Roark’s literally alone on her own island, but she seems to have the level-head she needs to navigate this. From the looks of it, though, people may start to see her strategic gears moving. Do your work as you have so far, Roark, bold but quiet, and you should be ok. 8. JP: Hey, JP!
9. Desi: I’m not sure what to think about Desi’s position at the moment. All I know is that with all that chaos, I’d start to lose my cookies too. I’m sending you all my good energy! 9. Desi: I really felt for you last week when you thought Joe had punched your ticket out of the game. Fortunately, you get a chance to get him back if you want to. I think you’re the most powerful person on your tribe right now.
10. Jessica: I think Jessica has a lot of great game in her. I’m concerned, however, that from the moment you even remotely associate yourself with a showmance on, it’s an uphill battle to recover. The showmancee is Sysiphos and the Game is the rock. 10. Ben: Ben does not seem like an obvious target to me as long as Lauren is still around. But, the trailer has me nervous…
11. JP: I’m not quite sure where JP’s head is or who he’s strategizing with. He could either be the non-strategic threat everyone wants to work with or the threat who’s about to be cut in anticipation of the merge. We’ll have to wait a week and see on this one. 11. Joe: Joe seems to be missing one key element from the Tony Vlachos formula, and that’s Tony’s good nature. At the end of the day, people were frustrated by Tony, but they liked him. After speaking with Alan, I’m not sure that Joe has that gift.
12. Ashley: Ashley may have a friend in Devon, but it’s never a good feeling to be pinned as a threat and have your name thrown around so early in the game. Ashley has the chops, it’s just a matter of whether or not she’ll be chopped first. 12. Ashley: I’m shocked you made it to this week. And if you want to be back here again next week, you either need to win immunity or get Desi to play ball.
13. Cole: Oh my goodness heavens, Cole. You’re beautiful, but you’re killing me, Smalls. You’re like that guy that’s so excited about the surprise party he spoils the secret before it happens. Cole’s inability to keep anything tight to the vest seriously  concerns me for his future in this game. 13. Lauren: I thought you did a really good job splintering the Love Bug Alliance last week, but I wonder if you pulled the trigger a little too early. Maybe you should’ve waited until your tribe lost immunity. At any rate, I still feel like you’re on the bottom.
14. Joe: He. Is. Crazy. I don’t think Tony 2.0 will make it to the end like my Dear Favorite Spy Bunker Fiend, but I’m here for all the drama and llamas in between. 14. Roark: Starting a lady alliance when old tribe alliances are probably very strong? Probably not your best move. As Devon taught us, the odd person out can make an excellent swing vote.


Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Alan – ‘I Don’t Care What Happens, I Want Joe Gone’

October 19, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

Some people would say, “Hey, I have a four person majority on a tribe of six people, time to sit back and let the game happen.”

Others would say, “Hey, this angry guy is targeting my alliance member, but it’s cool because we have the numbers. I’ll just let him run his mouth.”

Alan Ball is not one of those people.

I spoke to the former NFL player the morning after his elimination to get his take on Joe’s big move, his alliance with Ashley, and JP’s…idol…transparency…methods…

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

Gordon Holmes: Joe is trying to shake things up and he’s not being subtle about the fact that he might have an idol. How do you plan for that if you can’t split the vote?
Alan Ball: I don’t think we gave him enough credit to be that cunning that he could stir things up and have an idol. We discussed it, in terms of putting the votes on Desi, but he had run the camp so hot. He had to go. I got to the point where I was like, I don’t care what happens, I want Joe gone. I knew that that tribe wasn’t going to last with the both of us in it. He had to go. Everybody agreed on that.

Holmes: How confident were you that Devon was on your side?
Ball: I was pretty confident. I knew for sure. Especially because Joe was running around camp lying. Devon saw straight through it. And Devon was pretty genuine. I knew he’d help us with our mission of getting rid of Joe.

Holmes: Did Joe or Desi ever make a move to work with you?
Ball: Desi was subtle. She wanted to get out of the position that she was in. I don’t think she wanted to be tied down under Joe. But, she was a Healer so she had to stick with him, especially with him having an idol. So for her, she was in a tough situation. I may be wrong, but that was the feeling I got from her.

Holmes: It seems like you and Ashley agreed to work together pretty quickly. Did you have thoughts of jumping, or were you more comfortable with the devil you knew?
Ball: (Laughs) When your back is against the wall, you’ll work with anybody. And both of our backs were against the wall. When we pulled buffs and we both had blue, both of our hearts dropped. But, we got better. We began to communicate. Would I work with Ashley if we’d gotten out of that predicament? I couldn’t say that.
Holmes: So, you’re home…you’re comfy on your couch watching last week’s episode…JP comes out of the water…and Ashley tells us she has the hots for him. Did you say, “I knew it!”
Ball: (Laughs) I wanted everyone else to see! I’ve been knowing. Nothing changed in my mind at all. It’s weird because there’s so much that the cameras don’t see. For me, I was picking up on a lot that people at home weren’t. So, when they started to let it out a little more I was pleased. Everybody thinks I’m crazy, but it’s coming out slowly but surely.

Holmes: It’s early in the game, you’ve got this core four of you, Ashley, Ben, and JP. You and JP are impressive physical specimens. If things go wrong you can kick our Katrina or Chrissy. Why shake things up over a power couple?
Ball: At the time, I saw Chrissy as good for my game. And at the end of the day, we were supposed to be a core four, but Ashley and JP were working to get the power between them and then make me disposable. And before they can do that, I’ve got to put a wedge in everything. I need to let people know that the strength is right there.

Holmes: When you accuse someone of having an idol and they drop their shorts right there on the beach…what’s the next move? It’s not like you can give it a real thorough examination.
Ball: (Laughs)
Holmes: What was going through your mind during JP’s impromptu strip search?
Ball: (Laughs) I was shocked. Inside I was laughing, but I’ve come this far, I need to keep this going. But to me, if someone goes to that extent to prove something, there’s something behind it. I’ve got you jumping through hoops to prove me wrong, that made me feel like I had the power in that situation. Maybe you are guilty, maybe you’re not, but you’re going to go that extra mile to prove me wrong. Was I destroying a relationship with JP and Ashley? Absolutely. But, I wasn’t too concerned with that.
Holmes: Is JP still on this show?
Ball: (Laughs) Good question. He might be a hell of the guy, but when it comes to the game, it might by his strategy to lay completely, dumbfoundingly low. His game is a mystery.

Holmes: It seems like Ben and Chrissy have gotten really close. Did you pick up on that during your time out there?
Ball: A little bit. But, I didn’t see that as a problem. I put myself out there as the wild card. So, I know that had issues in terms of trusting me. But I felt like I was solid with Ben and Chrissy. I’m rooting for those two.

Holmes: In hindsight, we know that Joe was able to find his idol by locating a clue on a tree, then digging around the water well. Did you notice any suspicious holes around your water well?
Ball: No, not really. My suspicion with Ashley was that she found a clue, but I don’t recall anything around the well. Unless someone covered it up, they did a good job.

Holmes: Alright word association time. Let’s start with Ashley.
Ball: Confused.
Holmes: Ben?
Ball: Loyal.
Holmes: Devon?
Ball: Different.
Holmes: Katrina?
Ball: Ooo…a wild card.
Holmes: Chrissy?
Ball: Mom.
Holmes: JP?
Ball: Ugh…(Laughs) He’s just JP.
Holmes: Desi?
Ball: Shy.
Holmes: Let’s finish with Joe.
Ball: Rat.

Holmes: You got the crazy edit in that first episode. When your friends and family are watching it, were they surprised or were they like, “Yup, that’s Alan”?
Ball: I got a couple of friends that said, “That’s you.” I’ll let you know exactly what I’m thinking. I’m not biting my tongue. I got the crazy edit. I wish they’d shown more of why I snapped. I’ve got some fire in me.
Holmes: Yeah, that coconut learned that the hard way.
Ball: (Laughs) I can open a coconut now.
Holmes: That’s good. Life is growing, Alan. Life is learning.
Ball: (Laughs) Yes it is.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Episode 4 Recap: Secret Shopper

October 18, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

Last Week: Cole’s big mouth made Jessica Howell, Lauren was in trouble, but her tribe decided to Skipper, and the Hustlers got rid of their Ginger.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Alright, let’s take a closer look at these tribes…

The Levu Tribe (AKA: The Heroes – Wearing Blue)
Alan, 31 – NFL Player
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Ben, 34 – Marine
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
JP, 28 – Firefighter

The Soko Tribe (AKA: The Healers – Wearing Yellow)
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Desiree, 27 – Physical Therapist
Jessica, 29 – Nurse Practitioner
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer*
Mike, 43 – Urologist
Roark, 27 – Social Worker

The Yawa Tribe (AKA: The Hustlers – Wearing Red)
Ali, 24 – Celebrity Assistant
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop

*Has an immunity idol

Post-Tribal Shenanigans

No post-Tribal shenanigans again?! Why’d I even make subheads?!

Buff Droppin’ Time

JPro brings them in and gives them brand new stretchy, brightly colored fabric.

The Levu Tribe – Wearing Blue
Alan, 31 – NFL Player
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Desiree, 27 – Physical Therapist
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer*

The Soko Tribe – Wearing Yellow
Ali, 24 – Celebrity Assistant
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
JP, 28 – Firefighter
Roark, 27 – Social Worker
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop

The Yawa Tribe – Wearing Red
Ben, 34 – Marine
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Jessica, 29 – Nurse Practitioner
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Mike, 43 – Urologist

*Still has an immunity idol

My Initial Thoughts

  • Ugh…those are the tribe names? They sound like trendy NYC neighborhoods.
  • Cole and Jessica must’ve tripped over a horseshoe embedded in patch of four-leaf clovers.
  • Ooo…will Ryan get to let Chrissy know that he’s her secret admirer?
  • Do we know if the idol clues are different? Should Joe and Cole be digging around their new water wells?
  • Bad news for Ben and Lauren. The only tribe where duos don’t need a swing vote.
  • There’s no way Lauren wears a red buff on her head.

Reward Challenge Time: Three members from each tribe will be tethered together. They’ll need to untangle their ropes, go through an obstacle course, then use the ropes to lasso a sled of puzzle pieces. Then the other two members will do the puzzle. The first tribe to complete the puzzle wins peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Result: Yawa (er…the red tribe) wins reward, while Alan pulls a Patrick and doesn’t let anyone tag in while he was failing miserably at the lassoing portion.

At Yawa Beach

Jessica finds a secret advantage in her bag of chips. It will allow her to cancel someone’s ability to vote at the next Tribal. If she doesn’t go to Tribal, she’ll have to assign it to someone on the losing tribe.

All that in a bag of chips? (I’m not proud of that.)

Anywho, she shares this info with her Healer buddies. Cole, knowing that sharing secrets can result in kisses and alliances,  proceeds to share that information with EVERYBODY.

Seriously, he immediately tells Ben and Lauren. Lauren promptly takes that information and uses it to try to get Mike to break away from the lovebirds.

CUT TO: Mike telling Jessica and Cole that the others know about the advantage. Cole tries to downplay it for a bit, but he eventually admits that he shared it with Ben.

Jessica plays it cool, but she’s really hurt by Cole. It’s like that kiss on the cheek meant nothing.

At Soko Beach

Sure enough, Ryan lets Chrissy know about his idol maneuver. She takes this to mean that he cares about her. Really? You don’t think his true intention was…you know…trying to save the weakest member of that tribe. She wonders if she reminds him of his mother. Yikes, if my mother played “Survivor” the way she plays Facebook, she’d be the first one out.

At any rate, they’re besties now.

At Levu Beach

Ashley and Alan agree to put their past behind them and work together. Like a power couple?

Everybody immediately sizes up Devon as the swing vote. The Healers approach him first, with Joe telling him that the Heroes are already targeting him. This concerns Devon, but his Spidey senses are telling him not to trust Joe.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will move a platter of puzzle pieces across an obstacle course. From there, they’ll unlock a second box of puzzle pieces. The first two tribes to complete the weird, Lincoln log-esque puzzle will win immunity.

Fun Fact: Probst referenced six Foo Fighters songs during this challenge. I’m thinking “Monkey Wrench,” “My Poor Brain,” “The Colour and the Shape,” “In Times Like These,” “Everlong,” and “Long Road to Ruin.”

Another Fun Fact: The table maze they used is a wonderful way to smash a finger. Trust me.

Result: The Yawa tribe took first place, the Soko tribe claimed second.

Pre-Tribal Politicking

Ashley takes Devon aside and lets him know that the former Heroes want him on their side. Devon tells her about his previous conversation with Joe, and she assures him that our favorite probation officer was lying.

Desi witnesses this moment and tips Joe off.

So…Joe decides to blow everything up. He tells everyone that he’s going to target Ashley and then he and Alan get into it.

Maybe Alan and Joe on the same tribe is the spark this season has been waiting for?

They battle it out and Desi’s name gets thrown out in the process. As you’d imagine, she is not pleased with this revelation. When the dust has settled, Joe tells Desi that he’ll play the idol for her if it looks like the vote is headed in that direction.

Also, Devon receives a secret advantage before they head off to Tribal. He’s very excited by this. Oh Devon…it’s an advantage…but it’s not to your advantage…

Tribal Time

The names being tossed around are very vague due to Joe’s idol.

It doesn’t seem like Devon has committed to either side.

Advantage Time

Oh man, I was right…Devon doesn’t get to vote. He hilariously says, “That is not an advantage.”

Idol Time

Joe plays his idol for himself.

Voting Time: Alright, we’ve got two votes for Joe, one vote for Alan, and the fourth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” is…Alan.

Verdict: What a better nickname for Joe; Faux-ny or Vlach-clone? One reads better but the other sounds better.

I thought Ashley’s number was up. Part of me thinks Alan dueling with Joe at camp was due to overconfidence that they had the numbers, but it’s also possible it was just Alan being Alan.

Like I said above, I hope the Alan vs. Joe spark was enough to get this season going, because it still feels like we’re in the middle of a light jog.

 

  • Ryan – You’ve really made the most of that super idol. Chrissy, Devon, and Ali are all great people to have on your side.
  • Chrissy – You needed friends on your new tribe and found them quickly. Well played.
  • Ben – I don’t know if you did this on purpose, but letting Lauren be the one to blow up Cole’s spot was smart. You get all of the benefit with none of the possible repercussions.
  • Ashley – Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose.
  • Desi – Solid job letting Joe know that his strategy put you in very real danger.
  • Devon – Did Desi and Joe know which way you were leaning? For your sake, I hope not.
  • Lauren – You had to have known you were in danger on a tribe of five. Way to shake things up.
  • Mike – I don’t know if you did this on purpose, but not accusing Cole was smart. The truth was going to come out, you didn’t need to point fingers.
  • Joe – I hate giving you a bad grade considering how you just saved yourself and Desi, but man did you dig yourself a hole for the rest of the game. Too big, buddy.
  • Jessica – How’s that saying go? “Fool me once, shame on you…”
  • Cole – You seem like a good guy. But, you’re bad at this.
  • Roark, JP, Ali, – I can’t give you full credit if you don’t show your work.

Power Rankings Results: Aubry Bracco had Alan in spot 6, I had him in spot 13. The current score is Team Bracco 34, Team Holmes 37.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Power Rankings – Round 3: Buff Droppin’ Edition

October 16, 2017 by

“Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the players will earn. For example, if Ryan is voted out this episode, Aubry will receive four points and Gordon will receive seven points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Aubry had Patrick in spot 14. Gordon had him in spot 13. The current score is Team Aubry 28, Team Gordon 24.

Quick Note: Rankings are not based on who the player thinks is most likely to win. The smart strategy is to rank the contestants based on who is the most likely to be voted out in the next episode.​

Aubry’s Score = 28

Any questions for Aubry? Drop her a line on Twitter: @aubrybracco

Gordon’s Score = 24

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
1. Devon: Woo, woo — heir to Cagayan number two coming through! Devon’s not being noticed as a strategic threat, but he’s the man behind the curtain — that’s the sweet spot one week in. Keep it up, Devon! 1. Ben: OK, my general rule for tribe swaps is this; anyone who is a challenge threat who is now in danger of being down in the numbers on their new tribes is in danger. I’m talking about your Devons, your Alans, and your JPs. Not your Bens.
2. Ben: Ben’s cruising along, and people like Ashley are approaching him to talk game. He’s a natural leader in the group, and people seem comfortable with him there — all signs point to a deep run. 2. Chrissy: I’m putting you in the same boat as Ben. You’ll be fine even if you don’t end up on the same tribe. Nobody really has a reason to target you.
3. Chrissy: Chrissy’s metaphorically found her camo garb of choice, and his name is Ben. Anyone with an ability to turn their game around from “too visible in a bad way” to undercover in mere days has the chops to go deep. 3. Ali: You had a tough call to make last week between Lauren and Patrick. In the end, I feel like Lauren is more goaty (not a word) and Patrick was more annoy-future-alliance-membersy (also not a word). Good call.
4. Ryan: From wearing Simone’s boots to having everyone in stitches at Tribal — Ryan has this tribe jester thing down to a “T.” Keep them laughing, and they won’t see when you morph from lovable jokester to Pennywise in a half second flat. 4. Desi: Cole clearly trusted you enough to bring you on board. That speaks well of your social game. Hopefully we’ll get to see more of it after the swap.
5. Roark: I’m loving what Roark’s doing. She might be lying low, but she’s proving to be reliable and mentally stable. On “Survivor,” sanity is a trait that, like cold water, you don’t realize how much it means to you until you’re trapped with a bunch of lunatics on a hot beach. 5. Roark: See Desi. But, so you don’t think I’m totally slacking, here are two reasons why ranking swaps totally sucks; I have to redo the colored text in the images, we have NOTHING to go on, and we actually have to learn the tribe names.
6. Alan: Alan’s beginning to be predictably chaotic, also a valuable commodity on “Survivor” when the players around you are good enough to spot its potential uses. This guy is locked in place for awhile until he stirs trouble with the wrong person or completely loses it trying to open a coconut. 6. Joe: I’m thinking the swap will delay your tribe’s plans of sending you home. In fact, if I’m Roark and we’re on a tribe alone, I probably let you know what I know and use it to form a bond.
7. Ali: Ali’s in the middle of the pack at the center of all the strategy. My only concern is with only four left on her tribe, there’s nowhere to hide. Sometimes, the guy in middle of the road gets run over! 7. Ryan: The two people who should’ve been concerned that you were running the show are now enjoying some cold Vonus at Ponderosa. Either way, you should hang back a bit after the swap.
8. Desi: Like Roark, Desi has her head down on her shoulders and isn’t making waves yet. That’s the place to to be. 8. Lauren: Nobody needs the swap more than Lauren. She would be going home if the Hustlers had lost a third immunity challenge. Hopefully for her, there will be bigger fish to fry on her new tribe.
9. Jessica: Jessica’s flying high with her love goggles, and she has a direct line to some key information on the whereabouts of the idol. The issue? Her informant can’t quite keep it zipped. Proceed with caution! 9. Mike: Mike is the perfect example of someone who kept his cool and let the game work itself out. He got himself in trouble early, but by hanging back, the whole Cole vs. Joe thing exploded. Something always happens, you just need time.
10. Cole: He’s a physical threat, attractive as all get-out, about to be in a showmance and giving away information too soon. Cole’s perfect on paper, but he may be too much of a Survivor to last much longer on it, especially if tribes are already gunning at physical threats like Patrick. 10. Devon: Maybe you’ll end up with your Hustlers buddies…maybe you’ll be on a tribe with bigger challenge threats…maybe how well you played the first three episodes won’t matter…
11. Mike: Dr. Mike isn’t making too much noise, which is a good thing. With the Young Bucks alliance brewing on the Healers tribe, though, he’s got to make sure he’s full stream, oops, I mean full STEAM ahead on making those imperative social connections. 11. Cole: You told three people about Joe’s idol. The odds are the word is going to get back to him. Now, he might not be able to do anything about it if you’re on different tribes. But, look out if you two draw similar buffs.
12. Lauren: When you’re on the outs, but you’re different than the other person on the bottom, you’ve got the opportunity to show people why you’re different. Now that she’s had the opportunity to show she’s a more viable option than Patrick, Lauren has an opportunity — now she just needs to find a way to work her way in. 12. Jessica: Word spreads quickly after a swap, and if someone wants to target you, you haven’t been subtle about your feelings for Cole.
13. JP: JP’s passivity could prove to help him if he’s not seen as a threat. Unfortunately, with a guy who’s built like the Culpepper challenge beast 2.0 it will be hard to downplay that athletic body that Ashley is drooling over. 13. Alan: I sound like a broken record, “Challenge threats are never safe after a swap!” Annnd…if JP and Ashley can get a foothold somewhere, they can point out how you freaked out at them.
14. Joe: Nothing’s going well for Joe with the Curse of Tony still in full-throttle. In addition to giving away information on the idol too soon, now he’s irritating people while they eat. If there’s one tip I would give any future player — NEVER mess with a Survivor’s food, or your butt will be out the door. 14. JP: You’re on the outs with the majority of your current tribe and your new tribe is not going to have trouble targeting you if they lose immunity. Better start catching those lobsters.
15. Ashley: Ashley is blinded by unrequited love, in Alan’s sight at all times and already has Ben calling her a threat all in the first week? That’s a recipe for disaster. 15. Ashley: If I’m Ben, Alan, or Chrissy and I need to throw the target on somebody’s back, I’m going to point out how Ashley is in a Power Couple with JP. Even if it isn’t true.


Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Patrick – ‘Maybe I Could’ve Toned Myself Down’

October 12, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

Oh, Patrick…

Knocking-things-over, making-weird-jokes, screaming-your-head-off, getting-attacked-by-crabs, but-still-good-natured Patrick…

I had a chance to speak to the latest person to Hustle their way out of the game the morning after his elimination. During our chat I asked about his….big…personality, who’s really running the show, and his pre-game relationship with Ali…

Gordon Holmes: War Eagle, buddy.
Patrick Bolton: War Eagle!
Holmes: I’ve got a niece that’s a freshman at Auburn right now. My dad went there, my sister met my brother-in-law there…
Bolton: Really? That’s awesome. My entire family, my dad and my mom’s side of family went to Auburn.

Holmes: Let’s talk about that little TV show you were on.
Bolton: That little TV show…”Survivor!”
Holmes: You’ve heard of it. When you’re watching the show and they’re showing you causing all kinds of trouble, annoying Lauren, being loud, are your friends saying, “Wow, they edited you badly.” Or, are they saying, “Yep, that’s Patrick.”
Bolton: Unfortunately, everyone messaged me and said, “Yeah, I kinda predicted everything you did out there. This is just like Patrick.” And even in the past episode I said, “I don’t think I can make friends if I’m not myself.” Maybe I could’ve toned myself down and still made friends.

Holmes: Heading into Tribal, did you think you had a solid four-way alliance between you, Ryan, Devon, and Ali?
Bolton: I thought I had a super strong alliance. First landing on the beach we made a boys’ alliance. Hey, we’re not going to let the girls vote us out. I was tight with Ryan and Devon, more Ryan than Devon. I know Ali. There’s no chance she’s going to vote against me. I should’ve thought other than that. I thought I wasn’t going home. They didn’t show a conversation between Ryan and I where Ryan spilled out to me, “Hey, there are no worries, don’t look for the idol anymore.” He really spelled out for me a comfort zone, so I relaxed. I had no idea I was leaving. That’s why you can see how mad I was.

Holmes: You mentioned your pre-game relationship with Ali. Could you clear up exactly what that entailed?
Bolton: We were neighbors in college. She lived three or four houses down from me. We’d see each other occasionally. We weren’t best buds. But we had times where we hung out. Showing up for “Survivor,” a show that thousands of people sign up for? And somehow we both get cast for the same season and the same tribe?! And I haven’t said anything to anyone about Ali. And then she tells me, “Oh, I was telling people I knew you for precautionary reasons as soon as I saw your face.”
Holmes: Whenever I meet somebody, I say, “Hey, if we’re ever on ‘Survivor,’ let’s work together.”
Bolton: (Laughs) I definitely regret not working with Ali. I should have made it a point to make connections with her. I really blew it, honestly. As you’ve seen, she came up to me and said, “You need to calm down, I’ve heard your name thrown around.” But, if I thought if my name was on the chopping block, she’d give me that last warning.
Holmes: Well, since I have you here, if we’re ever on “Survivor,” let’s work together.
Bolton: Me and you! We’re going to the end.
Holmes: That Auburn alliance.

Holmes: Were you worried that people would be trying on your clothes the day after you were eliminated?
Bolton: I made sure to not leave my clothes behind. I packed up my shoes, my socks… I was not going to be embarrassed watching them try on my stuff. It was a free-for-all! You saw me try on her jacket. It didn’t look too good.
Holmes: I thought you pulled it off.
Bolton: (Laughs)

Holmes: Simone thought that Ryan had charmed the entire tribe and was running the show.
Bolton: He was. Ryan has played, while I was there, a great game. Thinking back, Ryan offered us nothing except some charm and jokes. He told jokes all the time. I thought he was hilarious. Going back, I’m wondering what did Ryan offer this tribe? He didn’t bring in firewood, he can’t crack open a coconut. I just thought I’d rather be hanging out with Ryan. Ryan definitely was doing a good job there.

Holmes: It seemed like Lauren was really annoyed with you. Put me in your head; were you trying to win her over? Were you having fun at her expense?
Bolton: I wasn’t trying to have fun at her expense or win her over. I was trying to work with Lauren at one point. And I realized I was getting on her nerves. I tried to not be overbearing, but I didn’t succeed. The target was on her back, so she had to throw it on my back. That’s good for her, congratulations. And she should’ve gone home, not me. I should’ve worked with Lauren and Ryan could have gone home. Every small thing you change, changes the entire outcome. I closed that door. I thought of her as a buffer, if she’s around, it won’t be me.

Holmes: Word association time, let’s start with Ali.
Bolton: Charming, nice, backstabbing.
Holmes: Ryan?
Bolton: Hilarious, small, like a wet rat.
Holmes: Devon?
Bolton: Quiet, Buddha.
Holmes: Simone?
Bolton: Crazy, loud…Simone. Simone is a good word to describe Simone.
Holmes: Let’s finish with Lauren.
Bolton: Closed-minded. It’s got to be her way or the highway.
Holmes: And prejudiced against redheads.
Bolton: Maybe in kindergarten a redhead took her lunch money every day and she still hasn’t let go.

Holmes: Again, your edit showed you being loud and clumsy, was there anything that happened out there that you wish they had shown?
Bolton: There was one time where I was snorkeling and I see this shark below me. And I had my spear, but I missed him. It was like a three-foot shark and I was going after it. That would’ve been really cool.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Episode 3 Recap: Cole’s Squad Goals

October 11, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

Last Week: Joe discovered an idol and was pumped, Ben found a potential new alliance and jumped, and Simone spent time in the water and was voted out.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Alright, let’s take a closer look at these tribes…

The Levu Tribe (AKA: The Heroes – Wearing Blue)
Alan, 31 – NFL Player
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Ben, 34 – Marine
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
JP, 28 – Firefighter

The Soko Tribe (AKA: The Healers – Wearing Yellow)
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Desiree, 27 – Physical Therapist
Jessica, 29 – Nurse Practitioner
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer*
Mike, 43 – Urologist
Roark, 27 – Social Worker

The Yawa Tribe (AKA: The Hustlers – Wearing Red)
Ali, 24 – Celebrity Assistant
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Patrick, 24 – Small Business Owner
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop

*Has an immunity idol

Post-Tribal Shenanigans

Hmm…no post-Tribal shenanigans at all. I guess it was just a smooth unanimous vote.

At Hustlers Beach

Ryan and Patrick are psyched that Simone left her clothing behind. They even put on an odd little fashion show. When they’re done sashaying, they both agree that they’d rather keep Ali over Lauren.

Lauren knows she’s on the outs and works to turn Ali and Devon against Patrick.

Ali is worried because Patrick is not subtle about his idol hunts and his screaming outbursts could come back to haunt her.

CUT TO: Patrick asking everyone if they’re stupid.

Ali tells him to cool it, but he’s worried that if he can’t be himself, he can’t make friends. Maybe go…like…35% Patrick.

At Heroes Beach

Chrissy and Ben appreciate that they’re in a prime position. Ben even says they’re driving the train…which seems easier than driving a car or something. A train just speeds up and slows down, right? I mean, no offense meant to the train drivers that read this.

Meanwhile, Alan is really frustrated with his inability to open coconuts. Oh, maybe the coconuts are in a power couple with the machete!

Pro-Tip for Future “Survivor” Players: When you go on the show, you’re going to have to know how to start fires, open coconuts, and whatnot. It’s actually really easy. You see, there’s this site called YouTube…

Also, Ashley admits that she’s falling for JP a little bit. Between them, Cole and Jessica, and Ryan and Devon, this season might become an unofficial “Blood vs. Water.”

At Healers Beach

Joe is very worried that Cole knows about his idol and is close to Jessica. He even says that Cole has “Love Bird Disease.” Love Bird Disease? That sounds like a case for…

(Yes, I’ve used that before. But it’s good to recycle.)

Sure enough, Jessica and Cole are getting really close. Cole even admits to Jessica that Joe has the idol. Jessica is so moved by him trusting her that she gives him a smooch on the cheek, which is a big deal because Jessica is a virgin.

The duo decides that blindsiding Joe might be a good idea. However, Cole takes this plan to Roark and Desi without checking with Jessica first.

Quick Aside: I’m with Jessica on this one. Cole should take her advice and not rush to give up things you can’t get back.

In other news, Desi is really annoyed with how Joe will chuck food into the woods if he doesn’t like how it is prepared. This show always comes down to food, always.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will run through an obstacle course. At one point, they’ll have to use sandbags to knock blocks off a beam. The first two tribes to stack all of their blocks will win immunity. The first tribe will win chickens. The second tribe will receive some eggs.

Sitting Out: Mike

Challenge Results: The Heroes took first place, while the Healers finished second. It looked like the Healers would claim first, but they forgot one of their blocks. Another important thing to call out is Patrick’s failure to deliver during the sandbag throwing portion. What’s worse is Lauren, who has 25 years of softball experience, begged to take his place and he wouldn’t let her.

Post Challenge Politicking

I don’t think anyone is surprised that it’s looking like a Patrick vs. Lauren showdown.

Patrick feels bad about the loss, but he says if you look at Lauren, he doesn’t think that her subbing in would have changed much. That’s why we talk to people, dude.

Patrick then tells us that he wants to make sure that Lauren feel good for her remaining time in the game. So…he goes to talk to her? Has he been paying attention to what Lauren likes?

She immediately figures out who he’s voting for by pointing out that redheads aren’t good liars. Is that a thing? I’m way behind on my stereotypes.

It all comes down to the same thing as last week; they think Patrick is a hot head who’s good at challenges and the other person is loyal.

Tribal Time

Lauren called out Patrick for not being a team player in the challenge and spending his time idol hunting. She also continued her redhead bashing. Who hurt you, Lauren?

In his defense, Patrick thinks he’ll be useful later in the game because he’s good at making friends. Ali points out that he hasn’t been successful with Lauren.

Also, Ryan claims that he’s never been in a relationship. Don’t worry, buddy. Former “Survivor” guys tend to get hot “Survivor” girlfriends when it’s all over.

Voting: We’ve got one vote for Patrick, one vote for Lauren, one vote for Patrick, and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” is…Patrick

Note: As Patrick left he said, “You guys are awful.”

Verdict: Wow…I thought Lauren was a goner. It just seemed like Patrick had strong ties to both Ali and the other guys.

This season started slow, but I’m liking a lot of these players. I kinda wish we didn’t have a swap coming up, cause I’d love to see the Healers try to continue their run.

 

  • Ali – Keeping Lauren over Patrick was probably a good call. If anything, you might’ve bought Lauren’s loyalty for the rest of the game.
  • Chrissy and Ben – You two are ruling the roost. And, you won’t be obvious targets after the swap.
  • Devon – You’re doing great. But, I’m worried because challenge threats on tribes with lower numbers are always in trouble after a swap.
  • Ryan – I’m starting to see what Simone was saying about you being too likable. Might want to tone it down a bit.
  • Desi and Roark – Much like Ben and Chrissy, sometimes you just have to stay drama-free and let the others make mistakes.
  • Lauren – You did exactly what you needed to do to stay alive. But, you need to put yourself out there more, or you’re going to be someone’s goat.
  • Jessica – You’ve got yourself a meat shield who trusts you enough to share big info. Now you have to rein him in a bit.
  • Ashley – Saving JP is way less important than selling yourself. By working to keep him around, you’re lending weight to the Power Couple debate.
  • Cole – Using your idol info to cement your alliance with Jessica? Good. Using your idol info to target someone before you know you’re going to Tribal? Bad.
  • Joe – The food thing? Really? “Survivor” 101, buddy.
  • JP, Mike, Alan – I can’t give you full credit if you don’t show your work.

Power Rankings Results: Aubry Bracco had Patrick in spot 14, I had him in spot 13. The current score is Team Bracco 28, Team Holmes 24.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Power Rankings – Round 2: Sexual Healing Edition

October 9, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the players will earn. For example, if Ryan is voted out this episode, Aubry will receive five points and Gordon will receive three points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Aubry had Simone in spot 14. Gordon had her in spot 11. The current score is Team Aubry 14, Team Gordon 11.

Quick Note: Rankings are not based on who the player thinks is most likely to win. The smart strategy is to rank the contestants based on who is the most likely to be voted out in the next episode.​

Aubry Says: The game is on, folks, and the beaches ripe with power couples. Here’s where our fair castaways stand after Week 2…

Aubry’s Score = 14

Any questions for Aubry? Drop her a line on Twitter: @aubrybracco

Gordon’s Score = 11

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
1. Ali: Ali is the total “Survivor” package. She: A) understands and sees the value of people on the bottom? Check. B) is aware of emotional vampires who require attention and will sap her energy in The Game down the line? Check. C) gives a little bit of side-eye when warranted? Checkmate. 1. Ben: Thankfully, things calmed down a bit on Hero beach. And after Chrissy crunched the numbers, and had everyone complete the 250-question personality test, she decided that Ben is her perfect eHarmony partner.
2. Ben: He’s smart, savvy and a king of chaos management. Plus, he’s got the even keel charm of Tom Westman blended with the charm of Tocantins’ JT. This guy isn’t going anywhere any time soon. 2. Devon: I only smile when I’m talking strategy with you…or thinking about killer waves…or literally doing anything. It’s fine though, everybody likes Devon and he’s the strongest member of his tribe. He ain’t goin’ nowhere.
3. Devon: Devon is a Brains in Woo clothing. There’s more to this surfer dude than meets the eye. This guy could ride this wave to the end. 3. Ryan: A little bad news for Ryan as Simone was well aware that he was running the show. That shouldn’t cause any problems in the near future, but he should keep an eye on that.
4. Chrissy: She’s making a list, she’s checking it twice — Chrissy’s got her head on straight and is wisely taking stock of her observations. This kind of decision-making ability will only help down the line. 4. Ali: Well, the Gordon-picked-me-to-win curse hasn’t taken you out yet! And, you proved you’re a cool, calming operator. Question is; is Patrick too abrasive to keep around?
5. Ryan: Why is everyone so surprised when nerds are likable and have social game? Ryan, like many before him, is proving that some of “Survivor’s” brainiest brainiacs have the ability to use their less-than-threatening image as a weapon. 5. Chrissy: Scanning…scanning…scanning… Truthfully, I loved Chrissy’s breakdown of her Hero tribemates. And being Ben’s right hand seems like a great place to be.
6. Cole: We know his looks, smile and personality have Jessica swooning, but now the Second Coming Of Tony is giving him an idol clue too? Cole’s got that special “Survivor” magnetism that just draws people into his orbit. 6. Desiree: Miss Virginia, huh? That’s pretty cool. I’d love to watch you play “Survivor” sometime.
7. Jessica: She’s getting into a power couple which could spell danger. The good news? Jessica has the kind of upbeat personality that will neutralize that, and nobody seems to care. If anything, she and Cole have some hangers on. 7. Roark: Social worker, huh? That’s pretty cool. I’d love to watch you play “Survivor” sometime.
8. Mike: Mike already has his archenemy Joe admitting he’s likable. This guy will be safe if the Healers go to Tribal, and he has the chops to integrate in the event of a swap. 8. Alan: You needed a nice, calm episode after the premiere’s flaming dumpster fire that crashed into a trainwreck. And, you got it. Now, how do you build a new foundation?
9. Desi: Desi is opening up to people about her Miss Virginia past, which is good! She’s making personal connections. I’m positive we just haven’t seen what Desi has brewing yet. 9. Ashley: From “core four” to “potential power couple without benefits” is not what you want from your first few of days in the game. I think you’re smart enough to steer out of it though, even if that means cutting JP loose.
10. Roark: Roark is quiet, but she got some blur in for a sassy mouth at the challenge. What that tells me? She’s comfortable enough on her tribe to run her mouth a little bit but, smartly, lying low. 10. Joe: Did you really think the idol was buried underneath a moving item? It’s OK, we all make mistakes. Now, you have to lock Cole down. I think cutting him loose would be way too mysterious at this point.
11. Alan: Alan is a little more low-key. However, he still believes spreading suspicion is the best way to keep out of trouble. If he can spread a little chaos and paranoia without letting it get to his head, he may have a point. If Alan makes it past next week, his sins of the first 3 days may be absolved. 11. Cole: “Gee, Joe…I have no idea what that water well-shaped icon is supposed to represent. See ya later.” Rookie mistake. Hope it doesn’t cost you.
12. Ashley: Chrissy already sees Ashley as a threat, and she’s already been doomed with the title of one half of a power couple that’s been in the middle of some shenanigans. Not the greatest place to be in the “Survivor” universe. 12. JP: Are you really only talking to Ashley? Even after Alan called you two out as a couple? Poor form.
13. JP: JP doesn’t like drama and pulls lobster dinners out of the ocean. That’s great and all, but he needs to spend these early days connecting with his tribe too. The early feedback from others on JP confirms he isn’t making those lynchpin relationships. Not. Good. 13. Patrick: Everyday can’t be “The Patrick Show starring Patrick and featuring the Patrick Dancers.” Hopefully Tribal was a wakeup call for you to tone it down.
14. Patrick: Oh, Patrick, you wild banshee you! He’s got so much energy, I’m afraid he’ll start generating heat and burst into the flames. At least the tribe won’t need to trouble themselves with the flint anymore. 14. Mike: I’m not convinced you’re safe. It’s very possible that this Joe/Cole dust up is much ado about nothing. But, if you’re see signs of it, you need to stoke that fire.
15. Lauren: Lauren’s steadiness makes her an attractive ally for someone willing to put in the work. That said, she needs to be building relationships and quickly. That doesn’t seem to be her forte. 15. Lauren: I think your tribe likes you and wants to keep you around, but if they lose again they’re going to want to keep Patrick’s strength. Unless he starts with Pauly Shore impressions. Then he’s gone, buuuuuuddy.
16. Joe: Joe has an idol, which is a seemingly good thing, but there’s a whole lot here to worry about. He’s running around in the woods — never a good thing. Worse, he says he likes Dr. Mike despite wanting him out. Mike and Joe are the power couple we actually need. 16. Jessica: You don’t want to be half of a flirting power couple if Joe is worried about Cole knowing about his idol. If Joe sends a message, it’s going to be through you.


Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Simone – ‘I Thought that Ryan Was the Biggest Threat’

October 5, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

You’re on a tribe with a guy that yells at crabs, does weird accents, and is constantly screaming…and you’re the weird one?

I spoke with Simone Nguyen the morning after she was eliminated to get to the bottom of this mystery. I also had a chance to ask her about the tribe dynamics, the Ryan/Devon bromance, and her superhero alter ego…

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

Gordon Holmes: Alright, I hate to start this off on an awful, awkward question…
Simone Nguyen: OK, lay it on me.
Holmes: So, you’re on this tribe with a dude that does weird accents and is yelling at crabs…
Nguyen: (Laughs)
Holmes: And you’re the weird one?! How does that happen?
Nguyen: Oh my God! The yellow tribe, love them, don’t want to ever say anything bad about them. But Patrick is one of the weirdest people I have ever met in my life! Everyone had lied about their background. Lauren lied about being a fisherman, she said she was a contractor. Ali said she never went to college. Devon said he never went to college. Ryan said he dropped out of college. Here I am, I’m hiding nothing. I’m not going to let people think I’m sneaky so I didn’t lie about my background. I went to Colombia, I live in New York, I don’t know how to drive. I’ve never been camping. And I’m thinking, “Oh no! Oh no! Too open! Reel it back!” So now, somehow Patrick is the one that fits in! So yeah, I’m the weirdo. Can’t help it.

Holmes: I thought it was impressive that all of this was new to you, but you watched videos, and when it came time to step up and gut the fish, you made it happen.
Nguyen: I appreciate that. It was tough preparing. It didn’t occur to me that I should go camping before going out there. I thought, “Beginners luck, I’ll figure it out.” But, I’d read the Boy Scout manual. I knew exactly what was going to terrify me. But I had a blast. I knew I had to work hard around camp, I had to volunteer for whatever I could do. Whenever there’s work on “Survivor,” just do it.

Holmes: Ali and Patrick seemed to have some familiarity with each other before the game.
Nguyen: They went to college together. They had the same friend group, I don’t think that they were best friends. I think they just knew each other. But they’re really different people, so it’s not a friendship that you would expect. Ali is this serious, diligent, thoughtful, beautiful goddess of a woman and Patrick is a goofball and he owns it. I suspected nothing.

Holmes: Ryan and Devon seem like opposites as well. Did you know that they were partnering up?
Nguyen: I thought that sending Patrick home was my only chance to stay, but I thought that Ryan was the biggest threat right out of the gate. He’ll tell a joke, like a generic pun, and everybody laughs. Everybody is so enthralled by this short, adorable man. That person terrifies me. I can’t do a thing like that. And I felt like Ryan had Devon and Patrick in his pocket. And then you didn’t get to see it, but I witnessed the most intimate conversation between Ryan and Lauren when they were bonding over the fact that they have different types of bodies. Lauren’s a bigger girl, Ryan’s a smaller guy. How do you compete with that? They’re bonding over something they’ve had to deal with their entire lives. I didn’t have an experience that could compare. You can see yourself not fitting in as much. Ryan had a lot of control in the beginning, and kudos to him for finding the super idol.
Holmes: Don’t knock generic puns. I make my living off of those.
Nguyen: Oh my God! I love a pun. That’s why I was so scared. I have a really weird sense of humor, which is another reason why I didn’t fit in. So, Ali’s hair…you saw like three hairstyles last night. She looks really great. She would say, “Oh, my hair is a little nappy.” And Ryan would lie down and say, “I’m about to take a little nappy.” And I would die. If I wasn’t on the floor, I’d be on the floor. The fact that I was laughing that hard scared me, I should have been more aware.

Holmes: Tell me more about Lauren. She seemed very concerned that she wasn’t going to fit in because of her age.
Nguyen: I actually really liked Lauren and wanted to work with her. But, we’re so different it’s almost impenetrable. She had once voiced that, “Y’all are a bunch of kids.” I can’t do an impression of her.
Holmes: You don’t have to.
Nguyen: She’d say she feels like an old lady. And my boyfriend is a little bit older than her. So, in trying to comfort her I said, “Don’t worry about it, I haven’t dated someone younger than you in years.” And of course everybody’s’ heads turned and I thought, “No! That’s not what I wanted to say!” So, I was the weird one. But, I didn’t care that she was older. She seemed like somebody who was really hard working. She didn’t stop for a minute. I wish she had liked me more.

Holmes: You mentioned the super idol, was anyone looking for other idols?
Nguyen: Patrick was looking all day, every day. Wakes up in the morning, doesn’t help with the fire. We all know he’s out looking for the idol. Patrick goes looking for the idol in front of us. I catch Patrick looking for the idol. He says, “I’m looking for the idol. What are you doing?” I’d say, “I guess I’m gathering firewood unless you want me to come look with you.” Then he’d say, “Yeah, come look with me.” This is not a thing that I was trying to do with my life. So, that was Patrick.

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Ryan.
Nguyen: Skinny Ryan. I know he’s not supposed to be the skinny Ryan on the show, but he’s way skinnier.
Holmes: The skinniest Ryan.
Nguyen: That’s a good one.
Holmes: Patrick?
Nguyen: Redhead, ginger…
Holmes: Ali?
Nguyen: Hair goals, a beautiful Grecian model…she’s not Grecian, but…she looks so good. It was insane.
Holmes: Lauren?
Nguyen: Fisherwoman with a question mark. We had all bought into the fact that she was a contractor because we weren’t eating a lot of fish those first couple of days.
Holmes: Let’s finish with Devon.
Nguyen: Did you see those abs?
Holmes: I did.
Nguyen: Do you know about the phenomenon called “Island Hotness?”
Holmes: I do.
Nguyen: It is 100% real. It is so nice to look at when you’re far from home. So, thank you Devon for that.
Holmes: Simone, you don’t think I cover this show for Jeff Probst, or the palm trees, or the challenges, do you?
Nguyen: It has to be the island hotness. In pre-game, there were gratuitous amounts of hotness. I’d look around and be giggling like a fiend. This is amazing, life is wonderful, “Survivor” is a gift.

Holmes: Last night you shared with us your super power.
Nguyen: Oh God!
Holmes: Do you have a superhero alter ego?
Nguyen: You know what? Nobody wants to go with the obvious, which is “The Aqua Dumper.” But you want to be known for something. I’m going to let the fans on Reddit come up with that one for me.
Holmes: That is a dangerous proposition. So, you’re weird, but you’re brave.
Nguyen: I certainly felt brave when I was doing my business in the ocean. But I also felt brave going out there. It was my first time out of the country, the first time camping, the first time doing so many things. I really felt like, “This is my time! If I’m going to go, I’m going to go hard!” I had a great time.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Episode 2 Recap: The Dawn of the Ali-Ance?

October 4, 2017 by

‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.

Last Week: Ryan made a firm base, Alan made a creepy face, and what’s the medal for 18th place?

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Alright, let’s take a closer look at these tribes…

The Levu Tribe (AKA: The Heroes – Wearing Blue)
Alan, 31 – NFL Player
Ashley, 26 – Lifeguard
Ben, 34 – Marine
Chrissy, 46 – Financial Analyst
JP, 28 – Firefighter

The Soko Tribe (AKA: The Healers – Wearing Yellow)
Cole, 24 – Wilderness Survival Guide
Desiree, 27 – Physical Therapist
Jessica, 29 – Nurse Practitioner
Joe, 34 – Probation Officer
Mike, 43 – Urologist
Roark, 27 – Social Worker

The Yawa Tribe (AKA: The Hustlers – Wearing Red)
Ali, 24 – Celebrity Assistant
Devon, 23 – Surf Instructor
Lauren, 35 – Fisherman
Patrick, 24 – Small Business Owner
Ryan, 23 – Bellhop
Simone, 25 – Diversity Advocate

Post-Tribal Shenanigans

We learn that Chrissy is allowed to hang onto her idol even though it is powerless. Like an infant at an “Entourage” trivia night.

Yikes, that is a terrible analogy.

Ben thinks the tribe is like old paint because it’s cracked and fractured. Also, Ben is better at analogies than I am.

Ben also lets us know that the core four is dead. Yeah, like a fish vacationing on the sun.

(Damnit.)

At Hustlers Beach…

Ryan and Devon are very comfortable in their adorable alliance. However, Devon does point out to Ryan that he doesn’t smile when he talks strategy with other people. Probably not a great idea to reveal your tell on “Survivor,” buddy.

Simone seems to be on the outs with her entire tribe. Ryan even calls her “weird.”

CUT TO: Simone bragging because she was able to pee in the ocean. She says it made her feel like a superhero.

10-Second Brainstorm for Simone’s Superhero Name: The Urine-ator…The Tinkler…Sim(Number)One…

She also says she hates the outside. C’mon, that’s like Probst hating blue button-down shirts.

(That’s better.)

Finally, Simone shows her worth to the tribe by being able to gut a fish. Go Simone!

Ali decides she wants to bring Simone onto her side because of Simone’s outcast status.

In other news, Patrick is really rubbing people the wrong way. We’re treated to an edit of Patrick screaming at crabs, doing weird accents, and breaking wind. Basically he’s driving Lauren crazy.

At Healers Beach…

Jessica and Cole continue to flirt, but Cole thinks Jessica isn’t interested because she sees him as a little kid. This makes me wonder if Cole has ever seen a little kid.

Joe and Mike are getting along, but Mike is still Joe’s biggest target. Joe finds himself in a bind because he wants to hunt for the idol, but he’s already told the tribe that Mike has it.

This doesn’t completely deter Joe. In fact, he finds the first idol clue stamped on a tree. He can’t quite figure out where it is, so he gets Cole to help him. Cole figures out that it’s by the water well. They dig around the well and Joe finds the idol.

Of course, Joe is now nervous that Cole knows his secret.

I found this whole exchange to be really interesting. My first instinct would have been to destroy the clue after I found it. Maybe you could scratch it off of the tree? But, the way Joe ended up going about it, he now shares a secret with someone who seems like he’ll be loyal.

Actually, I wonder if there was an opportunity for Cole to keep his well revelation quiet and find the idol for himself later. But, it was in the heat of the moment, so I don’t blame him for not thinking of it.

At Heroes Beach…

Chrissy breaks down the entire tribe “Terminator” style. It was truly inspiring. She thinks JP isn’t very bright, Ashley is a player, Alan is a risky person to partner with, and Ben is the best alliance for her.

Ben and Chrissy agree to work together and keep their options open for Ashley or Alan. They decide against working with JP because he doesn’t talk to anyone. Huh…

Immunity Challenge Time: Three players from each tribe will dive into the water and retrieve bags of puzzle pieces. Once they’ve all been collected, the remaining teammates will use the pieces to complete a signpost puzzle. The first tribe to finish will win immunity and a giant fishing kit, the second tribe gets immunity and a more modest fishing kit.

Sitting Out: Joe and Lauren

Challenge Result: Despite falling behind early, the Healers were able to claim first place. The Heroes took second. Ali and Simone were the losing puzzle team.

Post Challenge Politicking

It looks like it’s going to come down to Simone vs. Patrick.

Simone tries to “shape the narrative” by pointing out that Patrick and Lauren are always butting heads.

Patrick does his own narrative shaping by claiming that Simone doesn’t do much for the tribe.

Ali, Ryan, and Devon seem to be the ones making the call. They feel like Pat is unpredictable, but good at challenges and Simone is a challenge liability, but she’ll be loyal.

And as for Ali, Ryan, and Devon working together…

IT’S HAPPENING!

Tribal Time

Not much to report on here, other than everybody acting shocked when Patrick said he didn’t trust everyone in the tribe. That was odd to me because who trusts everyone on their tribe?

Also, Lauren said she hopes they don’t see Probst again anytime soon. That’s hurtful. And, he’s gonna be at the challenges, this isn’t Samoa.

Voting: We’ve got one vote for Patrick, three votes for Simone, and the second person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” is…Simone.

Verdict: This seems like a solid decision from the Healers. When you break down the pros and cons of Patrick vs. Simone, you have someone who’s wild, but good in challenges against someone who has the potential to be strategically dangerous and is bad at challenges.

Actually, compared to last week, I think we’re going to have a lot more high grades…

  • Ali and Ryan – They’ve got a solid majority, they’ve got some potential fodder in Patrick, and they’ve got that hustle.
  • Chrissy – From potentially on the bottom to a comfortable alliance with Ben in one day? Well done.
  • Ben – Sometimes you can just sit back and everyone comes to you.
  • Devon – Sooper minor nitpick…but did your smiling comment tip Ryan off to when you’re lying?
  • Joe – I like that you’re forward-thinking with your concern for Cole, but targeting him now is going to be a mess.
  • Ashley – People are always afraid of power couples. You did the best job of becoming the power couple partner they’re most likely to keep around.
  • Cole – Someone like Joe is going to want to do all of the thinking. Let him. Otherwise he’ll turn on you quickly.
  • Patrick – “Survivor” 101…don’t be annoying early in the game. People are looking for any reason to target someone. Don’t give them a reason.
  • JP – If people think you’re in a power couple, open lines of communication with everyone, not just with your power couple partner. All the lobsters in the world can’t protect you if you’re keeping to yourself. Well, giant lobsters could protect you.
  • Lauren, Desiree, Roark, Jessica, Mike, and Alan – I can’t give you full credit if you don’t show your work.

Power Rankings Results: Aubry Bracco had Simone in spot 14, I had her in spot 11. The current score is Team Bracco 14, Team Holmes 11.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers’ Power Rankings – Round 1: Super Idle Edition

October 2, 2017 by

“Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” (CBS)

QUICK NOTE: XFINITY.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings with Aubry Bracco, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the players will earn. For example, if Ryan is voted out this episode, Aubry will receive two points and Gordon will receive three points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Quick Note: Rankings are not based on who the player thinks is most likely to win. The smart strategy is to rank the contestants based on who is the most likely to be voted out in the next episode.​

Before we head into this week’s fun, Aubry has a special message for this season’s cast…

Aubry Bracco: Congrats, “Survivor” 35 cast! Your journey has begun. My best advice? Don’t listen to the armchair quarterbacks (I guess that includes me). Remember what the experience meant to you and enjoy the ride for all its ups and downs.

Aubry’s Score = 0

Any questions for Aubry? Drop her a line on Twitter: @aubrybracco

Gordon’s Score = 0

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
1. Ben: I love everything about the way this guy is playing. He’s in the dominant four, but he’s not ruling out working with Chrissy. If there’s a surprise swap, this guy, who’s a proclaimed “Teddy and Grizzly Bear,” seems like he’ll be able to use both his fire and awareness of emotion to find the space in the cracks. 1. Ben: Wow…what a mess. Probst tosses your tribe six buffs, so you know you’ve got to get a majority quickly. You make it happen and then Alan…Alans. Pulls a total Alan. But, you played it the best you could and are now the person in the tribe will all of the options.
2. Ryan: This guy has already found (1.) A super idol (2.) A BFF to downplay his nerd archetype (Devon) (3.) a way to get a jump on making allies on the other tribe (Chrissy by way of gifting her the idol). Ryan’s creating a solid foundation quickly AND quietly. 2. Devon: You’re the most athletically gifted member of your tribe and you’re partnered with the dude who doesn’t have mystery crabs in his pants. Well played.
3. Devon: He’s mild-mannered in a very Woo-like way. I’d love to have him around camp — it seems like his presence would have an anti-anxiety effect on any tribe of deranged lunatics. 3. Ryan: I can’t think of a better way to play the super idol. You got the benefit of using it to make a partnership with a meat shield, it has the potential to help you after the merge, and it didn’t put any heat on you.
4. Ali: I love Ali’s mentality — she’s got the Julia Sokolowski blend of smarts and super social skills. I see her being a chess master or a sorority president depending on the day. Time will tell, but from the little I’ve seen, this girl seems to have a deep toolkit of life experience to pull from even though she’s a youngster. 4. Cole: Ugh…why did I crop these photos so high? A waste of perfectly good abs.
5. Desiree: She’s working hard to be even keeled. It’s always good to see someone who has that control early in the game. Desi seemingly has a spot with the younger members of her tribe but doesn’t seem like she’ll easily get tied up in promises she can’t keep off the bat. 5. Ali: Alright, Ali…you’re my winner pick. That means there’s no possible way you’re going to walk away with the million-dollar check. But, maybe…just maybe your considerable tools can overcome the classic Holmes curse.
6. Roark: Like Desi, Roark is in a good spot — between a budding showmance and the craziness brewing between Joe and Mike. Stay like a rock, Roark, and I think you might cruise for a bit. Easy does it. 6. Desiree: You’ve got a showmance on one side and Joe and Mike having awkward jungle throwdowns on the other. You’re going to have plenty of room to maneuver.
7. Cole: Jessica tells us Cole is working hard not to seem like the “tough guy.” It’s clear people see this guy’s heart — they see his abs too. Right now, if he’s able to keep playing down his threatening persona, which it seems he’s taking actions to diminish, he’s in a decent spot so long as a showmance doesn’t knock him down. 7. Roark: See Desiree
8. Jessica: Jessica is a “Survivor” powerhouse — she’s got the brains, brawn and the beauty. Her future could be bright. I’m worried, though, that she might be spotted as the second coming of Andrea Boehlke. Finding a Romeo to her Juliet on Day 1 won’t help either. 8. JP: A right-hand lady that you click with? Awesome! A four-person alliance full of challenge threats? Awesome! Alan freaking out over non-existent idols? Less awesome. The good news is, they’ll come for Ashley before they come for you. The bad news is, you can trust one person on your five-person tribe.
9. Ashley: Ashley has seen a lot of drama 3 days in. The good news is the dysfunction is prepping her for the harder stages of the game. In Ashley, I see Cydney — she used her crazy days of Scot and Jason vs. Alecia to silently plot out her long game. 9. Alan: Oh Alan, based on the game you played you should be so, soooooo much lower on this list. But, you’re still a former professional athlete and it seems like Ben is going to stay loyal to you.
10. JP: JP is on the wrong show. This isn’t “Naked And Afraid.” With so much chaos, I’m afraid he and Ashley could become victims of a Ben, Chrissy and Alan team-up. 10. Jessica: Yes, the pull of Cole’s dashing looks and endearing life choices are hard to resist. But, as JP and Ashley taught us, you don’t want anyone to think a showmance is going on.
11. Patrick: I’m not sure about Patrick. It’s great he has an ally lined up in Ali, but there’s something kind of big about his personality that makes him bouncy and very noticeable. It may be wise to turn it down, though that feels somewhat unfair to say considering Ryan told the lion share of the Hustlers story. 11. Simone: Hey there, buddy. Hope you had a good premiere. Were you up to anything? Starting alliances? Finding idols? Crafting a Swiss Family Robinson treehouse?
12. Chrissy: Chrissy and I are kindred spirits. Our karmic path: let’s see how many highs and lows we can experience in a premiere episode. I’m concerned Chrissy is on the outs of her tribe, but it gives me big hope someone on another tribe (Ryan) has already identified her as a potential ally. 12. Joe: Oh…Joe. I love me my Russell-esque…Vlachos-esque game manipulators. Are you one of them? Because that little get together in the woods with Mike did not go well. If you were trying to bring him under your wing, you failed. Hoping for more from you in episode two.
13. Mike: I love you Mike, but you need to chill a little bit on the wooded excursions. Between the yellow attire and the scurrying about, I’m getting major Tai vibes! Will you start kissing Cole next too? We can only hope! 13. Chrissy: I think some editing trickery made us think you were closer to Katrina than you were. That’s fine. There’s no way editing can hide the cracks in the dominant alliance. Find them and exploit them!
14. Simone: I want to hear from Simone! What concerns me is, like Lauren, the rest of her tribe is already locking in. That said, she could be playing silent but deadly, waiting for the perfect time to sneak out of the grass and attack. 14. Patrick: Hey, eating bugs worked out for Mike in “Worlds Apart.” But, be careful that you don’t come off as too-weird-to-predict. It’ll make people like Ali second guess working with you.
15. Lauren: We didn’t hear a thing from her, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing for Lauren. With the other members of her tribe hustling for numbers, Lauren better start fishing for a connection or she’ll be cast out to sea. 15. Ashley: Yeah, you and JP probably aren’t a showmance, but at this point it doesn’t matter. More often than not, breaking up a power couple involves sending the woman packing. You’re in real danger.
16. Joe: That beach must reserve some kind of ancient curse for men in law enforcement from the New York/Jersey metro area. I love you Joe, but don’t start the interrogations on Day 2! 16. Lauren: You’re the oldest person on your tribe by over ten years. That’s going to be tough to overcome, especially with everybody else making friends and influencing people.
17. Alan: In “Game Changers,” I had a paranoia so badly on Day 2, I thought I woke up in the middle of the night and people saw me idol-hunting. In reality, I hadn’t even moved from my sleeping spot on the ground. Alan has the paranoia I had times 100. If he can get himself in check, he could have a Mike Holloway level recovery, and I’m here for it. 17. Mike: Oh boy…getting caught on an idol hunt by the guy who has Hantzian or Vlachosian ambitions? Bad news. And turning him down when it looked like he was trying to bring you on board? Extra bad news. Hopefully the others aren’t fond of Joe’s aggressive gameplay.


Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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