More Whatnot

Last Week: Savaii ripped into Cochran the turncoat, Brandon wore his heart on his sleeve, and Jim and Ozzy were booted.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Te Tuna Tribe (wearing yellow)
Albert – 26, Baseball/Dating Coach
Brandon – 19, Oil Tanker Crewman
Coach – 39, Slayer of Dragons
Cochran – 24, Harvard Law Student
Dawn – 41, English Professor
Edna – 35, Anesthesiologist
Rick – 51, Rancher
Sophie – 22, Medical Student
Whitney – 27, Country Music Singer

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing hatred for Cochran)
Jim – 35, Medical Marijuana Dispensary Owner
Keith – 26, Water Treatment Tech
Ozzy – 30, Challenge Destroyer

The episode kicks off over at Redemption Island with Jim predicting that Coach will lead his cult to victory and claim the million dollars. Who’d have called that at the beginning of this season?

Meanwhile, Coach tells the Te Tunians that he’s glad Jim is gone because he didn’t really care about any of them. He lets them know that he’s looking out for all of them and they all have an equal share in the tribe’s business. Whitney disagrees. She thinks Coach is running the show and that everyone thinks they’re going to the end with him. Is this a rerun? I feel like I saw the same show last spring except the Coach character was wearing a Boston Red Sox hat.

The next morning, Cochroach (the nickname for Coach and Cochran – thanks @SherriErwin) are doing some yoga. Cochran informs us that he is totally drinking Coach’s Kool-Aid.

Fun Fact: Cochran referred to Coach as a “lunatic” in our pre-game interview.

After the session, Coach confesses that he’s worried about the alliance. He thinks Albert and Brandon might be plotting against him.

Redemption Island Duel: The players will balance poles on the back of their hands. The last person standing stays in the game. The other two will join the jury.

Yes, I’m aware that three people can’t compete in a duel.

The challenge starts and Crystal Cox is immediately eliminated. Oh wait, that was in Gabon.

We’re about ten minutes into it and Probst starts asking the observers who they’re rooting for. Brandon is pulling for Jim, while (brace yourself, this is shocking) Whitney is rooting for Keith. Sadly, nobody wants Ozzy to win.

Jim is the first one out, then after some tense minutes he’s followed by Keith. Ozzy wins and stays in the game. He also probably won two jury votes.

Back at Redemption Island, Ozzy once again breaks down his strategy for the rest of the season; eat, chillax, and wipe out new people as they show up. I’m still not on board with this. The challenges are so random. How does he know Whitney isn’t a whiz at Operation or Monopoly or whatever weird event Challenge Producer and “Survivor” Hall of Fame Executive Voting Committee member John Kirhoffer throws at them?

Over at Te Tuna, Dawn tells Cochran that she regrets not blowing up his grand deception. She hopes that Cochran will return the favor and work with her. Cochran’s open to this as he knows that he needs to improve his standing with Savaii jury members.

Immunity Challenge Time: The players will balance a bowl of rice on top of their heads. They’ll then race across a pair of teeter-totters. Once they’re across, they’ll dump the rice in a container. First person to fill their container with rice wins immunity.

Not much to describe here except for a lot of rice being wasted. Brandon, Dawn, and Sophie are neck-and-neck-and-neck in the end. But, Sophie manages to pull off the win by loading a ton of rice (not literally) into her bowl. So-Phine wins immunity.

Before they head off, J-Pro lets them know there will be a twist at that night’s Tribal. Dun dun dun…

Politicking around camp centers around Dawn and Whitney. Coach wants Dawn to go first because he thinks she’ll be impossible to beat in the end. True that.

Cochran assumes that the twist will be a double elimination and that if he doesn’t win the second immunity he’ll be in trouble.

Whitney gets in the understatement of the night when she lets us know that she’s open to making a move.

Meanwhile, Albert is hatching a plan to win some favor with the Savaii jury members. He wants to boot Edna (who wouldn’t vote for him), while rewarding Cochran’s loyalty, and keeping the Savaiians around for a while longer. Makes sense, but is it worth inspiring the wrath of the Dragon Slayer?

Brandon doesn’t like Albert discussing strategy with Savaii as apparently there’s an agreement where you don’t make yourself available for conversations with people who are on their way out. Man, Coach’s following this Boston Rob blueprint to the letter.

Later, during a game of island checkers, Albert tells Cochran that he’s seventh on the totem pole.

In other news, they’ve built a checkers set.

Albert and Cochran take Sophie aside to pitch their eliminate-Edna plan. She doesn’t tip her hand either way. So-Smart.

That night at Tribal Council, Keith shows up wearing super bright green pants. Yow.

Dawn thinks the bottom of the Upolu totem pole is content with their place in the game.

Whitney thinks Cochran is on the bottom of the Upolu alliance.

Probst tells Cochran that as a fan of the game, he has to know he has to make a move or settle for seventh place.

Coach admits that he’s worried about a blindside, but that he trusts his alliance. He also claims that he isn’t the tribe’s leader. Whitney disagrees.

Voting Time: Whitney votes for Edna and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst gets his tally on and returns. We’ve got one vote for Dawn, one vote for Edna, one vote for Dawn, one vote for Edna, two votes for Dawn, and the eleventh person to make a trip to Redemption Island is…Dawn.

OK seriously, one of those votes was spelled “Don.” Is it wrong that I automatically assume that Brandon cast that vote?

Look out! It’s a twist!

Surprise Immunity Challenge Time: Probsty will ask some survival-related questions. If you get one wrong, you’re gone. Last person standing wins immunity.

First Round: Survivors should drink one gallon of water a day. Albert, Edna, and Rick are gone.

Second Round: A coconut crab gets its name because its favorite food is coconut. That’s weird, they don’t call me Reese’s Sticks Gordon. Anywho, Cochran and Brandon are gone.

Third Round: The flesh inside the stalk of a coconut is called heart of palm. Coach is eliminated.

Fourth Round: It isn’t dangerous to remove clams from the ocean. Whitney is wrong. So-Phabulous wins immunity.

Voting Time…Yet Again: No votes are shown.

One vote for Cochran, four votes for Whitney, and the twelfth person to make a trip to Redemption Island is…Whitney.

Verdict: And that is what you call an Upolu sweep. Hopefully things will pick up now that they’ll have to turn on each other.

Also, am I the only one who is beyond shocked at Coach’s turnaround this season? I left Samoa thinking he’d be Russell’d out of there quickly and here he is leading the dominant alliance. Expectation Slayer.

Who’s Going to Win: So-Phirst Place

Power Rankings Update: Andrea had Whitney in spot eight and Dawn in spot nine. I had Whitney in spot nine and Dawn in spot eight. However, she picked Jim to win at Redemption Island and I picked Ozzy. So, she gained seventeen points while I grabbed eighteen. The current score is now Team Boehlke 137, Team Holmes 140.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Coach is voted out this week, Andrea will receive 4 points and Gordon will receive 5 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: South Pacific” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Gordon had Ozzy in tenth and Jim in eleventh for twenty one points, while Andrea had Ozzy in eleventh and Jim in ninth for twenty points. The current score is Team Boehlke 120, Team Holmes 122.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.

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Current Score: 120 Got any advice for Andrea? Drop her a line on Twitter.	.	Current Score: 122 Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.

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#1 Sophie: What can I say? Sophie is going places. And by going places I mean she isn’t going anywhere. And by not going anywhere I mean she is officially my pick to win. However, Sophie needs to be on her guard and ready to make moves because most people will rather want to sit next to Edna/Brandon/Cochran than her.  Sophie is just meant to be on top!	.	#1 Sophie: Sophie’s loving her placement at the top of the Power Rankings, and there really isn’t any reason to evict her. There are a lot of ways the tribe can go once they’ve booted the final two Savaii members. Fortunately for Sophie, she won’t be the first one to go in any of those scenarios.

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#2 Brandon: Looking back over the course of the game, there is one thing that Brandon has been pretty consistent at: blowing up at Tribal Council. Perfect. If I was on Upolu right now I’d be aching to sit next to Brandon at that Final Tribal Council because you know his speech is going to be an epic fail. A super entertaining, glorious epic fail. I can’t wait.	.	#2 Brandon: Lil Hantz’s Tribal Council rants have made him the go-to guy to take to the end of the game. He’s like Featherless Phillip. The only way Brandon could win the million is if he took Cochran and managed to get his uncle back into the game during the family visit.

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#3 Edna: Edna is also one of those people you would want to be sitting next to at the end. She’s sweet and I really like her, but she doesn’t really have an argument for winning unless she pulls a move sometime in the near future.	.	#3 Rick: So much of the strategy in the Power Rankings going forward is going to depend on people like Rick and Edna making moves. Honestly, I don’t think they have it in them. Either way, Rick’s safe for a while.

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#4 Coach: I have to hand it to him, Coach is playing this game. So far nobody has made a move to get rid of him and it seems like he is getting his way each week. What alarms me is that not once have we heard of anyone plotting against him, which makes me wonder if we will have a repeat of last season. Does everyone think they are going to the end with Coach? Oy vey.	.	#4 Albert: I think Albert is very worried about being this season’s Grant. He wants to make sure he has every angle covered, and as long as he can trust Sophie he should feel free to explore options. However, now is probably not the time to make a move. Partnering with a Savaii player is a sure way to lose at the final Tribal Council.

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#5 Rick: Well we are back to watching the “Silence of the Ricks.” And… *chirp chirp chirp* that’s honestly all I’ve got.	.	#5 Coach: I wish I had a better idea of how the booted Savaii members feel about Coach. Do they like him? Do they feel slighted by him? That’d make it easier for me to determine if taking the Dragon Slayer to the finals is a good move or not.

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#6 Albert: So we have seen that Albert is a schemer and coming up with his own plans. However, as it was with sniffing out Dawn last episode, he hasn’t been getting his way completely. Cue Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” But why? Albert doesn’t seem to have minions. You’re kind of stuck if you don’t have minions and Albert is going to be a target real fast for being a huge individual immunity threat.	.	#6 Cochran: I’m torn on Cochran this week. Jim hit the nail on the head when he said Cochran was playing a great third-place game, so it’d make sense to take him to the end. However, Upolu is so crazy with their trust blankey, that I’m worried that Cochran will have to go before any of the original alliance members.

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#7 Cochran: Now is the time to infiltrate the Upolu tribe. If Upolu is smart, everyone would want to sit next to Cochran in the finals. However, if Upolu is sticking to their “we are family…I got all ma sistas with me” shenanigans, then Cochran is in trouble. He is becoming part of the Upolu family (eating donuts, wearing their clothes) but is it enough?	.	#7 Edna: How do we get this deep into a season with so little information on a player who’s almost been voted out? Blah… Coach wants to keep her, but not at the expense of killing the trust-thing he has with Upolu. She’ll probably go as soon as there aren’t any more Savaii to vote out.

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#8 Whitney: Things are not looking good for the Whitster. She pulled off an immunity win last week but can she win this week when she needs it even more? Sadly, it looks like either she or Mama Meehand is going next; it’s just a matter of who is first.	.	#8 Dawn: Dawn’s a Power Rankings fave, but I think her time has come. The maneuvering she’s been doing to be seen as an Upolu sympathizer hasn’t been lost on the more nervous members of the tribe. Maybe she can Boehlke her way back from Redemption Island?

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#9 Dawn: Mighty Mama Meehand was trying her best to work her way in with Upolu, but she is on the bottom for two reasons. Albert and Brandon. Albert was sniffing her out last episode and Brandon finds her hypocritical. With two strikes against her, things aren’t looking good for Mama Meehand. Sad face.	.	#9 Whitney: I do feel bad for Whitney. She’s being painted as a bully and we never saw her being rude to Cochran. Oh well, the best country songs come from sad moments in your life.

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Redemption Island Pick – Jim: Over at Brodemption Island, it is anyone’s game. In an intense game of eenie-meenie-minie-bro I ended up picking Jim. Yes, Jim isn’t as proteined-up as Ozzy and Keith, but if anyone is to get back into the game, Jim has the best chance of getting back in and not getting Andrea’d out right away.  Not that being Andrea’d out is a bad thing….okay yeah it sucks. Wah wah.	.	Redemption Island Pick – Ozzy: You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, and know never to vote against Ozzy in challenges.

Last Week: Christine made it to the final challenge only to lose, Coach and Albert didn’t fall for Ozzy’s poorly acted ruse, and Cochran’s flip left Keith singing the blues.

Quick Note: J-Pro says we should expect two eliminations tonight. Dun dun dun…

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Te Tuna Tribe (wearing yellow)
Albert – 26, Baseball/Dating Coach
Brandon – 19, Oil Tanker Crewman
Coach – 39, Slayer of Dragons
Cochran – 24, Harvard Law Student
Dawn – 41, English Professor
Edna – 35, Anesthesiologist
Jim – 35, Medical Marijuana Dispensary Owner
Ozzy – 30, Challenge Destroyer
Rick – 51, Rancher
Sophie – 22, Medical Student
Whitney – 27, Country Music Singer

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing hatred for Cochran)
Keith – 26, Water Treatment Tech

Cochran? You got some splainin’ to do.

This shindig gets underway with some hardcore Cochran abuse. Ozzy bats leadoff, taking Cochran aside and blaming him for ruining the game. Brandon the Protector does his best to keep it from getting out of hand, but even he couldn’t stop Ozzy from calling Cochran a wiener.

Yeah, you read that right. Thousands of insults in the English language and Ozzy went with “wiener.”

Jim does a bit better, as he lets Cochran know that he’s a “piece of (expletive deleted) coward and a poor excuse for a man.”

Whitney gets her turn next. She claims that her and Keith had saved him on three separate occasions. She gets off a Grade-A rant and tops if off by telling Cochran that he disgusts her. Wow, they finally let her talk and she knocked it out of the park. Keep it up and we can put the Purple Whitney nickname to rest.

OK…My Thoughts on Cochran’s Big Move: I’ve taken some time to think about it and I’m officially coming out against Cochran’s flip, and here’s why…

If he stays with Savaii, the worst thing that can happen is he pulls the wrong rock and goes home. The odds on that aren’t great. If Savaii wins the rock pull, he’s safe for a while.

With his lack of challenge skills, there is little-to-no reason for anyone to target him. As the numbers dwindle, he’ll have more opportunities to make things happen without turning potential jury members against him.

If Savaii loses the rock pull, he still has some time to make some moves. Ozzy, Jim, and Dawn would all be seen as bigger threats. And, when Upolu breaks down he’ll have a chance to do something.

As it stands now, every former member of Savaii who joins the jury (and it’ll be up to five of them) will see his betrayal as the reason they were booted out of the game.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled recap…

The next morning, the Upolians approach Cochran and ask him who he’d like to see go home next. He sees Ozzy as the biggest challenge threat, but Jim’s harsh words are fresh in his mind.

And with that, it’s already…

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will toss coconuts into a ring. The first four players to get a coconut into their ring move on to the final round. There they’ll crack open a coconut and get a mouth full of coconut water (how trendy). They’ll then maneuver through an obstacle tower. Once they’re through the tower they’ll spit their coconut water into a tube. First person to fill their tube wins immunity.

Dawn, Whitney, Jim, and Sophie hit their shots and advance to the final round.

Not much to describe in the final round except for coconut crackin’ and water spittin’. Jim and Sophie are neck and neck (and spit) through the majority of it. It looks like Sophie just about had it won, but she got winded and spit up her water. This allowed Jim to pass her and win immunity.

Back at camp, Brandon wonders how many times you get to vote off someone like Ozzy. Cochran shows off his fancy Harvard education by replying, “Apparently two.”

Meanwhile, Ozzy and Coach are having a heart-to-heart in the woods. Ozzy isn’t ready to go home, but it isn’t lost on Coach that Ozzy wasn’t so interested in friendship when the deck was stacked in his favor.

Fun Fact: Ozzy and Coach seemed very open to working together before the game started.

A little later on, Jim hatches a crazy plan. He wants to give Ozzy his idol at Tribal, then make a speech that ten of the remaining eleven players have honor and that if Upolu votes Cochran out, they’ll still have a six-to-four advantage. His hope is that since Upolu won’t have a chance to discuss who else to vote for, it might throw them off.

Jimmy’s trying, I’ll give him that. But, he’s basically saying that he can’t win without his Savaii voting core.

That night at Tribal Council, Cochran refers to his reception after the previous Tribal Council as “luke warm.” Yeah, that’s like saying Dr. Houseman was a little miffed that Johnny Castle was hanging out with his daughter.

Don’t judge me.

Jim admits to taking Cochran’s flipping personally. Cochran doesn’t regret the move as it gave him an opportunity to play with the kind of people he wanted to play with. Savaii, not surprisingly, takes offense to that statement.

Jim then says that he, Keith, Whitney, and Ozzy had all stuck up for Cochran at different times. And that the Upolu tribe is far too honorable to let someone else fight their battles. Oooo…a little sucking up before dropping the bombshell?

Brandon feels like Savaii were a bunch of bullies and that Upolu has Cochran’s back 100%.

Jim then admits to his plan to give Ozzy his idol. This statement causes Coach and Brandon’s eyes to pop out of their heads. I can only assume that somewhere Eliza Orlins is smiling.

Jim continues with his speech saying that they can send a message that honor means something in the game of “Survivor” by voting out Cochran. Coach disagrees, saying it would send the message that if you stand up for yourself, you’ll be screwed.

This Tribal is starting to take on an after-school special kind of a vibe.

Ozzy finishes the festivities by letting everyone know that he’s only going to get stronger and more determined at Redemption Island. If you strike him down he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Don’t judge me.

Before the voting starts, Jim ultimately decides to keep immunity.

Voting Time: Jim votes for Cochran, Cochran votes for Ozzy, and the rest await Jeff’s tallying ways.

One vote for Ozzy, one vote for Cochran, one vote for Ozzy, one vote for Cochran, three votes for Ozzy, and the first person this season to book a return trip to Redemption Island is…Ozzy.

And…we learn that Whitney and Dawn both voted for Ozzy.

Over at Redemption Island, Ozzy gets to work finding fish to fuel his challenge run. However, in a questionable move, he decides to feed his competition too.

Keith thinks the fish Ozzy caught is the freshest he’s ever had. Dude, you just watched him yank it out of the ocean.

Immunity Challenge Time…Again: All of the players will stand on a narrow beam while balancing a ball on a bow. As the challenge continues they’ll move further down the beam. Last person balancing on the beam with their ball on their bow wins immunity.

Man, that’s some alliteration. Now I’m kind of hoping Brandon wins.

Probst offers the players the opportunity to step out of the challenge in exchange for a delicious selection of pastries and iced coffee.

The Upolu members are very excited at this news, but Coach says he’s ready to compete. However, to remain united with his crew, he decides to sit with the rest of his alliance.

So, they built all of those beams and bows and balls and only Jim, Whitney, and Dawn are going to use them? Seems wasteful.

During the feast, Probst tries to ask Brandon a question. Brandon responds that he doesn’t want to talk, he wants to eat. In other news, Brandon is winning me over. Which is tough for him after voting out my girlfriend Mikayla.

Jim is the first one out, Brandon does a terrible job of hiding his excitement.

Dawn tells Jeff that she’s going to try to stay in the challenge as long as possible so the Upolu folks will have more time to eat. Not a bad way to win friends and influence people.

Note: The sloppy pastry eating is kind of gross. Not ripping-pork-off-of-a-pig-carcass-with-your-hands-tied-behind-your-back gross. But gross.

Both Dawn and Whitney survive the first round. Apparently that’s long enough for the Upolutians to eat their fill.

Dawn almost loses it, but manages to hang in there. Again, Brandon does a terrible job of hiding his excitement that she’s able to keep competing. Whitney takes this personally.

Eventually Dawn drops out and Whitney wins immunity.

Back at camp, Jim points out that Cochran is playing a wonderful 3rd-place game at this point. Can’t argue with that. Jim takes Sophie and Albert aside and goes over the numbers with them. Jim’s plan is to get rid of Edna. Albert, however, sees Dawn as more of a threat.

Sophie thinks it’s too soon to rock the boat. She wants Jim gone.

That night at Tribal Council, Coach admits that either Jim or Dawn is going home.

Sophie thinks that Dawn is strong, but that she’d go for Jim every time. Albert thinks that Dawn is more likable and probably the strongest female player this season.

Dawn admits that given the chance, Savaii would pick Upolu off one by one. She then says that if the numbers were in her favor she wouldn’t have sat out during the balance beam bow ball challenge.

Brandon takes offense to that statement because she agreed to stay in the challenge to allow them to eat.

Wait, what? I thought Brandon and her were BFFs. And…I fail to see a contradiction.

Brandon then breaks out a trademark Brandon Rant and goes off on how the Savaiians are only nice because they have to be.

Quick Aside: I’m glad they’re sticking to tribal alliances, because I’m not comfortable calling them “Te Tunitians.”

Whitney thinks she’s played the game honestly and she’s upset that she is being vilified. She has a bit of a breakdown as she doesn’t think she was ever a bully to Cochran.

Note: Cochran is running around in Coach’s jacket. Adorable. If he does it again next week I propose the nickname “CoCochran.”

Voting Time…Again: No votes are shown.

J-Pro does some tallying and returns. We’ve got three votes for Edna, five votes for Jim, and the tenth person to make a trip to Redemption Island is…Jim.

Verdict: Nothing too shocking this episode except for Upolu turning on Dawn. Here’s hoping it doesn’t get boring between now and Upolu’s eventual meltdown.

Who’s Going to Win: There’s something about Sophie.

Power Rankings Update: I was really sweating when they were talking about booting Dawn and Edna. But fortunately (for me) I was able to get both of the eliminations right this week and finally break Andrea Boehlke’s three-episode winning streak. I had Ozzy in tenth and Jim in eleventh for twenty one points, while Andrea had Ozzy in eleventh and Jim in ninth for twenty points. The current score is Team Boehlke 120, Team Holmes 122.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Coach is voted out this week, Andrea will receive 3 points and Gordon will receive 6 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: South Pacific” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: For the third straight week, Andrea has picked it perfectly. Fortunately, Gordon got it right this week too. Both players had Keith getting the boot and Ozzy winning at Redemption Island. The current score is now Team Boehlke 100, Team Holmes 101.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, (which is highly likely) he’ll give you credit in his weekly recap.

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Current Score: 100 Got any advice for Andrea? Drop her a line on Twitter.	.	Current Score: 101 Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.

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#1 Sophie: First of all, anyone supporting a fierce braidy-braid like Sophie did last episode is bound to do well. Sophierce has found herself in a really good place. Her tribe has the numbers, they got Cochran to flip and spill the “already loose” beans and she isn’t as big a target as Albert and Coach. Sophie is totally taking this game, braidy-braid and all.	.	#1 Sophie: Team So-Co-Bert (I’m not as good at the nicknames as Boehlke) is officially running the show. However, Sophie seems to be in the best spot right now in case someone gets a case of backstab-itis. Coach is a returning player and a leader and Albert’s a challenge machine. Sophie has a fair share in all the maneuvers without having to assume a target.

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#2 Brandon: Okay, now I’m confused. Is he a creeper or an ultimate sweetheart-protector? Can someone be both? Beats me, but I thought Brandon reaching out to Cochran at Tribal Council was touching. Maybe that is the hopeless romantic in me—ohhhh that’s right, he’s married. Yep, not going there.  Needless to say, Brandon is loyal to his alliance and less of a target than the other Upolu dudes.	.	#2 Edna: You’re not seeing things. Edna really is this high in my bracket. Why? Because she just squeaked into the merge and is now super safe. What possible reason would someone have for targeting her now? Because she’s Coach’s buddy? Just go for Coach.

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#3 Coach: I know that this is the time I am probably supposed to drop Coach in the rankings. These people DID see my season and saw Rob coast to the end and make us all look like sillies. However, I do think Coach had spoken the truth when he said his B.R.A.C.E.S. weren’t budging— and now he has Cochran on his side. Unless Sophie and Albert do something anti-Upolu (which I don’t think they will…yet) he is safe.	.	#3 Rick: If they ever decide to do a “Heroes vs. Villains vs. Mimes” season, Rick is a first-round pick. Also, he’s uber safe this week.

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#4 Albert: Albert is another one of my favorites—he is smart and savvy much like Sophie, just lacking the braidy-braid. My biggest fear is that he will ride the Upolu wave just a little too long and be voted out much like Grant in my season, but I have a hunch Albert’s not going to let that happen. He better not, his pictures are the best thing to happen to Gordon Holmes’s Power Rankings and are quite the hit with our lady readers.	.	#4 Brandon: I’m not going to lie, it was kinda endearing to see Brandon stand up for Cochran last week. I assume Mikayla was somewhere throwing things at her TV set. Either way, there are too many Savaiians to eliminate for Brandon to be in any real trouble this week.

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#5 Rick: Ohhhh Rick. I often try to figure out what is going on in Rick’s head. I usually fail. I can tell you that he was shocked that his name came up last Tribal Council, but that’s about it. He will be safe as a loyal martyr but I really wonder if he is ever going to take the game into his own hands.	.	#5 Albert: I’m willing to bet that everybody in Upolu is safe for the time being. Will they go the distance and bump all of Savaii in a Zapateran rerun? Possibly. But “Boston” Rob’s dominance has to be fresh in the minds of the people on the lower half (Rick, Brandon, and Edna). If they are able to swing the numbers, Coach will go first and Albert will go shortly after.

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#6 Edna: Coach said it himself, the B.R.A.C.E.S. aren’t budging. (I would hope not, B.R.A.C.E.S. weren’t meant to budge. Painful.) When it gets down to six Edna may have some trouble because she wasn’t a part of the original Upolu 5 and someone (man of his word Brandon) will be the first to point that out.	.	#6 Coach: Right now it looks like Coach, Albert, and Sophie have made reservations for the final three, but is it possible that Coach is following the “Boston” Rob template of taking a crazy person and a coattail rider to the end? Albert and Sophie wouldn’t fit that description…but Brandon and Edna certainly would.

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#7 Whitney: Oh snap. You do not want to come between a girl and her man! Whitney and the rest of Savaii have some major work to do now that they were betrayed by Cochran. She won’t be an immediate target on Savaii but she needs to weasel her way in somewhere stat.	.	#7 Dawn: As a member of the tribe that was just stabbed in the back, you’d think Dawn would be in serious trouble. I don’t buy it. Dawn’s liked, Dawn can blend. If she can find a crack in Upolu she can make a move. I won’t count her out until she drops a challenge at Redemption Island.

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#8 Dawn: Mama Meehan is really likable and proved to be awesome at challenges. That’s….not good right now. I don’t think she will be targeted before Ozzy or Jim, but let’s not forget she is on the sinking ship of Savaii. Basically, Dawn is too awesome to keep around.	.	#8 Cochran: Repeat after me; a flipper is never safe. No matter what Cochran does for the rest of the game, someone will be able to say, “Savaii trusted him, and look what happened to them.” I’m not willing to write off Cochran’s move as a complete mistake, but it will be an uphill battle from here on out.

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#9 Jim: Even though I feel Cochran’s move was best for Cochran, I definitely felt bad for Jim. He saved Cochran several times, put effort into keeping the Savaiins together, was ready to pick a rock, and got royally screwed over by the Cowardly Cochran.  If Ozzy wins immunity, Jim could very well be targeted as a physical and strategic threat. However, of anyone on Savaii, Jim has the best chance of stirring things up. Stir, Jim, stir!	.	#9 Whitney: It looks like Whitney will take the decision to boot Keith personally. (Cue: “Stand By Your Man”) That is the worst way to play Cochran’s flip. As the least threatening member of the remnants of Savaii, she still has a little room to maneuver. That all goes away if she mouths off and puts a target on her back. She could be reunited with her BF pretty quickly.

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#10. Cochran: Welcome to the dramatic life of a flipster. I think Cochran’s best move was to flip given the circumstances (he hates his tribe and he doesn’t particularly fancy death by rock), but these next few episodes will show if his move paid off. In the previews it shows Jim gunning for Cochran. Could there be a huge mash up from both sides? Either he made a great move that takes him farther in the game or next episode will be the sequel to “How to Lose a Cochran in 3 Days.” Whitney will be playing the part of Kate Hudson.	.	#10 Ozzy: Does anybody have more backstabbing scars in “Survivor” history than Ozzy? Seriously, he should have a punch card and get a free sandwich with every tenth backstabbing. Anywho, I decided to have him over Jim for two reasons; Ozzy’s more likely to win individual immunity and previews show Jim having a meltdown back at camp.

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#11. Ozzy: Things are not looking swell for Ozzy. He is now idol-less, on a tribe down in numbers, and probably dropped from his Off-Broadway contract. If Ozzy doesn’t win immunity, you would have to be pretty foolish to keep such a challenge threat in the game.	.	#11 Jim: I don’t know poker well enough to make an analogy comparing Cochran’s betrayal to getting the wrong cards on the flop or whatever, but the fact remains that this hand isn’t over until you’re forced to burn your buff at Redemption Island. Jim blowing up after Tribal isn’t going to do him any favors. Hopefully Jim can find a new angle and rebound.

Last Week: Coach prayed to find an idol that he already had, Cochran proved that when it comes to challenges, he’s really quite bad, and Ozzy sacrificed himself and has possibly gone mad.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Savaii Tribe (wearing red)
Cochran – 24, Harvard Law Student
Dawn – 41, English Professor
Jim – 35, Medical Marijuana Dispensary Owner
Keith – 26, Water Treatment Tech
Whitney – 27, Country Music Singer

The Upolu Tribe (wearing blue)
Albert – 26, Baseball/Dating Coach
Brandon – 19, Oil Tanker Crewman
Coach – 39, Slayer of Dragons
Edna – 35, Anesthesiologist
Rick – 51, Rancher
Sophie – 22, Medical Student

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing a chance to return to the game)
Christine – 39, Teacher
Ozzy – 30, Potential Dumbest/Savviest Player Ever

The show gets underway back at Savaii beach after Tribal Council. Cochran breaks down Ozzy’s crazy gamble (I won’t call it a dumb move) where he sent himself to Redemption Island in hopes of defeating Christine and returning to the game at the merge.

Cochran says he was willing to take Ozzy’s place, but Keith doesn’t quite believe him.

Cochran then shares with us the second part of the plan that involves him infiltrating the Upolu tribe as a double agent. He thinks this should be no problem as he’s been pretending to like Savaii for weeks. Zing!

I think Savaii deserves a tilted head and an arched eyebrow because they don’t see that Ozzy would make a way better double agent. Savaii voted out his cuddle buddy, then voted him out. It’s the perfect back story.

Meanwhile at Redemption (not an) Island, Ozzy meets up with Christine. He tells her that Cochran screwed him over by playing an idol. Ozzy later claims that this mission will either be the stupidest thing he’s ever done or the craziest thing he’s ever done. Oh Ozzy…it can totally be both.

Everyone is in attendance for the Redemption Island challenge. Before it gets underway, Ozzy does the worst (read: THE WORST) job ever of pushing his “Cochran is the devil” agenda. I’m sure Upolu saw better acting during last week’s screening of Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill.”

Albert proves he’s as perceptive as he is dreamy when he turns to Coach and says, “I don’t buy it.”

Oh jeez, as if I wasn’t rooting for Christine before…

Redemption Island Duel: The two combatants will stand behind a big bamboo door. They’ll use sticks and twine to create a long pole. They’ll use those poles to try to retrieve keys. The first person to retrieve all three keys and open their door will return to the game and promptly be voted out by Boston Rob. (Well…if history tells us anything.)

During the pole-building portion, Christine uses less poles that Ozzy. This proves to be a mistake as her pole isn’t strong enough to bring any keys back. Ozzy is suffering similar problems.

Quick Aside: I like this challenge because it reminds me of the time on “Friends” when they made the long poking device to see if Ugly Naked Guy was dead.

Ozzy adjusts his poking device and has little trouble retrieving all three keys, winning himself redemption. Cochran did his best to look sad.

Good job, Savaii. You booted a woman who was dying to join your tribe.

After the challenge, Probst throws the merge buffs to Cochran. I’m assuming he did this because he knew nobody would appreciate new “Survivor” swag more than him.

Oh, and the new color is yellow, keeping with the primary colors theme.

The merge feast takes place on Savaii beach, which is a shame because Upolu beach is way nicer.

Cochran and Coach share a heart-to-heart where Cochran explains how mean the Savaii tribe is. Coach immediately tips his hand, telling Cochran that he thinks Savaii intentionally sent Ozzy to Redemption to eliminate Christine.

What?! That’s preposterous.

Coach tells Cochran that Upolu won’t budge and would rather pull rocks in a tie breaker than turn on each other. He then gives an amazing speech, telling Cochran that he has a chance to change the game for himself.

Wow, I don’t know if Cochran bought any of that, but it made a lot of sense.

Later, Cochran meets up with Coach’s brain trust (Sophie and Albert) and tells them all about Ozzy’s plan. Then, he spills the beans to Brandon about how mean Jim and Keith have been to him.

Cochran then gives the immunity idol back to Ozzy because he’s a mastermind, but not an evil mastermind.

After that, Cochran and Dawn discuss strategy. Dawn isn’t a fan of how Cochran has been treated and is tempted to make the jump with him. She has a bit of a breakdown as she doesn’t like the idea of turning on Savaii. That and she wishes she had stood up for Cochran more.

Jeez, what was going on over there? I know Keith was short with him, but were they giving him buff wedgies?

Immunity Challenge Time: Each player will balance on a perch while holding a coconut between two ropes. As time goes on, the ropes will be extended, making it more difficult to hold the coconut up. If a player steps off the perch or drops their coconut they’ll be eliminated. The last female and male standing will win immunity.

Not much to describe here except for standin’ and coconut holdin’. Edna and Cochran are the first to go. (Ahem…shocking.)

We lose Whitney and Sophie at the start of the next round. So, Dawn wins female immunity.

Note: Dawn doesn’t stay in the challenge to prove how tough she is (ala Jane Bright from “Survivor: Nicaragua”). Why? Cause Dawn’s smart.

Coach and Rick are the next to go. Then Jim and Keith are out with only a few seconds left in the round.

It’s down to Brandon, Albert, and Ozzy. Brandon’s the first one out and he’s followed by Albert. Ozzy wins male immunity.

Politicking around camp starts with Savaii trying to figure out who Upolu is least likely to give their idol to. They decide on Rick and Sophie.

Jim thinks they should give the immunity idol to Whitney as she’s the least threatening member of their tribe.

Keith isn’t quite sure that Cochran is going to stay loyal. He’s right to think that as Cochran isn’t a fan of having a one-in-ten shot of being eliminated if they pick rocks.

Cochran shares Savaii’s plans with Sophie. He tells her he wants to vote with Savaii for the first vote so they don’t hate him as much. Yeah…I doubt that will change their opinion of him.

Sophie says she’ll do her best to make it look like he hasn’t coughed up the info. She then wins 100 “Survivor” nickname points by referring to Cochran as a “dodgeball target.”

Coach thinks he’s done everything he can to lead Upolu through the evening’s Tribal Council. He lays out every “David vs. Goliath” cliché possible except for actually saying “David vs. Goliath.”

Uh-oh…Dawn’s changed her mind about flipping. She’s worried that Upolu won’t keep their promises. Apparently Dawn spent some time praying over this. She thinks that sounds cliché. She shouldn’t tell Coach that.

That night at Tribal Council, Coach and Ozzy both tell Probst that they’re probably going to see a tie vote.

J-Pro breaks down the tie breaker process, saying that the people who got votes are safe and everyone else has to draw a rock. The odd rock out goes to Redemption Island.

Edna thinks that someone who feels like they’re on the outskirts of their tribe might switch sides. Edna said that? Cue Alanis Morrisette…it’s like raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain on your wedding day…

Jim doesn’t think anyone from his tribe would leave to join Upolu.

Albert thinks Ozzy was doing his best Broadway show at Redemption Island and he didn’t believe him. Maybe, “Miss (Direction) Saigon?” “Guys and Dolls and Obvious Lies?”  “How to Tell a Terrible, Unconvincing Story Without Really Trying?”

Sophie was offended by Ozzy’s hammy performance. Ozzy plays it off by admitting he was acting and confessing to having an idol.

Voting Time: No votes are shown. You can cut the tension with some crispy rice.

Before the votes are read, Ozzy stands up and plays his idol, handing it to Whitney. Upolu doesn’t seem concerned.

Six votes for Keith, six votes for Rick…we have a tie.

Re-Voting Time: Again, no votes are shown.

Six votes for Keith, five votes for Rick, and the eighth person to pay a visit to Redemption Island is…Keith.

As Keith is making his way to the podium, Cochran admits to Savaii that he is the one who flipped. Jim just looks at him and says, “Coward.” Brandon comes to his defense.

Verdict: Alright, we need to touch on a few things here.

First: I think Savaii is done. The Upolu alliance is built on Coach’s cult-like trust. The only people who seem capable of making moves are Sophie and Albert, and they already have Coach in their pocket due to him lying about having the idol. I think that trio might be our final three.

Second: Coach killed it this episode. The way he defused Savaii’s ruse and used it to bring Cochran on board was inspiring. I’m actually starting to wonder if Coach’s goofball persona is his biggest asset this season. Players went in there expecting the crazy Coach they’ve seen on TV and are meeting the bright, well-spoken Coach that actually exists.

Third: Did Cochran make the right move? Doubtful. Flippers are never treated well by their new alliance.

Who’s Going to Win: I think it’s going to come down to Albert, Sophie, and Coach.

Power Rankings Update: For the third straight week, Andrea Boehlke has picked it perfectly. Fortunately, I got it right this week too. We both had Keith getting the boot and Ozzy winning at Redemption Island. The current score is now Team Boehlke 100, Team Holmes 101.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes