More Whatnot

The Rules: Each week a member of our “Survivor” All-Star team and your beloved “Survivor” recapper Gordon “Truth Seeker” Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of that Thursday’s episode will determine the number of points the two combatants will earn. For example, if Jerri is voted out this week, Fancast’s “Survivor” All-Star Team will receive 12 points and Gordon will receive 1 point. At the end of the season, the person (or team) with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: JT turned on his alliance and helped Tom and Colby vote out Cirie. This earned the “Survivor” All Star Team three points while Gordon chalked up sixteen points.

So, before we get into the rankings, let’s catch up with “Survivor: Vanuatu’s” second runner up Scout Cloud Lee.

Gordon Holmes: Thanks for playing this week, Scout. What’ve you been up to since we last saw you on “Survivor: Vanuatu?”
Scout Cloud Lee: Bought ranches, sold ranches, ran cattle, sold cattle, moved to Hawaii and built a home, moved back to Oklahoma where I belong, bought another little ranch, wrote several books, captured lots of consulting contracts, traveled in and out of the country, done lots of keynoting speaking, continue to blog for the press and TV, kayaked, rode my horses, hiked, built a great addition to our ranch home, and met an amazing person and settled down.

Gordon: Wow! And I’m proud of myself when I get up before noon. How are you feeling about “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains?”
Scout: Evil Knievel’s cycle couldn’t jump over my pause…duh!  Great!  Best yet!  It’s really a new game in lots of ways because the veterans of “Survivor” just can’t have so much wool pulled over their eyes.  People always show up being themselves and nothing much has changed about any of the castmates.  I’m predicting that JT and Sandra are going to finish strong.  If wishing makes it so, we’ll get Coach out of this game so I don’t have to take anti-nausea meds to endure the episodes.

Scout Cloud Lee’s Picks
All-Star Team’s Current Score: 24

	#1 Tom: He pulled off a miracle.  What an inspiring drill sergeant maturity can be. Tom immediately formed “a committee” to divine the use of the immunity idol, and was able to pull in JT.  “Tomorrow we make our apologies.  Tonight we make our move.”  This was one of the slickest “blindsides” in the history of “Survivor.”  Candice will be very wise to get on board with the really, really good guys.
	#2 Boston Rob: Rob gets all my votes tonight.  He is blistering, blindly smart.  His “Come to Jesus talk” with Coach almost had me turning cartwheels. “Pick your (expletive deleted) head up and act like a man!  For real!”  It’s like dropping a bucket of bleeding fish into a shark’s tank to piss off Rob.  Rob is also on to Russell: “He’s a bonehead that can’t be trusted; a hobbit on crack.”
	#3 JT: This cowboy’s charm, charisma, common sense, and ability to align with tribe members will keep this cowboy in the saddle all the way to the final two.
	#4 Colby: Colby continues to play with gentleman’s grace and lots of integrity.  Sometimes his boat needs to rock a little to bring about the change of direction that he and Tom pulled off this week.
	#5 James: James all greased up is the finest show of arm candy on national television and his strategy remains the same:  I just want to win food, gifts, etc.
	#6 Candice: She is way under the radar, but on top of the strategy game.  Her soft-spoken way of steering the vote may not have played out this week, but she’s keeping her emotions tucked in a straitjacket and will probably make any shift needed to stay in this game.
	#7 Tyson: Tyson’s game is all about Popeye physical strength this season.  I’m missing his obnoxious mouth.  He’s one of those little mysteries dropped on Earth and is undetected until now.  Can’t figure out why he didn’t hurl all over Coach.
	#8 Sandra: Sandra is bound to slide into the final two slot with the same game she has always played:  sassy, smart, and “I don’t care as long as it ain’t me”. You can mark my word the girl is as slippery as snot on glass.
	#9 Danielle: She just keeps showing up and showing ass.  What guy wants to vote that off!?
	#10 Rupert: He’s making a bit of a showing in the physical game, but I personally think he would have saved a lot of face by staying home this season.  His voice still sounds like it’s strained through Paul Bunyan’s underwear, but his slap knee humor is lacking and I know it’s hard to watch himself with a limp and a big Buddha belly.
	#11 Russell: Russell has met his match in Rob.  The God Father can’t be fooled by Russell’s delusions of grandeur.  You, Russell…Off my planet!
	#12 Jerri: Jerri is only staying in this game because others must go first.  Her alliance with Coach is actually a perfect match for two people who could make a preacher cuss.
	#13 Amanda: She’s a pretty girl, Ho Hum, Yawn, etc.  Just another girl hanging on to coattails.
	#14 Parvati: Parvati can’t seem to hook the guys with her sex appeal and manipulation.  Don’t really think she’ll last long, maybe not even to the merge.
	#15 Courtney: She’s a mystery to me.  I just suppose that the producers want to honor anorexic Barbie Doll wannabes.  She’s bound to go as soon as the Heroes win immunity. She’s about as useful as a pogo stick in mud.
	#16 Coach: The curtain opens with Coach threatening to “quit” because Sassy Sandra hurt his feelings.  Waa Waa!  Pleeeeaaaassseee!  Since when is weeping, whining, wailing, and threatening to go home the mark of “A dragon slayer, the last of the Mohicans, a legend, a person of nobility, a King Arthur warrior, one of a kind!”  Barf, hurl, and puke!!!  Rob had it right:  Coach is not “much of a coach.”  The thick file of obvious reasons to vote out Coach grows fatter by the day.  Go ahead and wear your heart on your sleeve, Coach.  I love seeing the big, fat, pathetic cry baby in his transparent personality.  We shape our understanding of others by what we find memorable in them and I don’t think Coach will ever outlive this sob session and his cockamamie BS in front of 30 million people.

Gordon Holmes’s Picks
Gordon’s Current Score: 43

	#1 Jerri: Something’s brewing under the surface of the Villains tribe. It can’t be as easy as “Everyone vs. Russell.” I think likable, but non-threatening Jerri is playing it just right.
	#2 Candice: She went from being next on the chopping block to having quite a bit of power over on the Heroes side. I don’t know which side she’s going to choose, but it’s going to have a huge impact on the rest of the game.
	#3 Courtney: I picture Courtney just hanging out in the background, occasionally trading sarcastic banter with Tyson. She might be my dark horse to take this whole thing.
	#4 Sandra: I thought Sandra was going to be in trouble after calling Coach out at the last tribal council. But it appears that she’s solidly in Boston Rob’s camp. She’ll be safe for a while.
	#5 Tyson: I’m thinking Tyson is in an excellent position right now. He’s obviously in good with Coach and the rest of the ladies in camp. And, he’s not viewed as a major threat in challenges, so he’ll have a chance to coast a bit after the merge.
	#6 Colby: Dodged a bullet last week, but the numbers still aren’t in his favor. Something that is in his favor is the fact that the James’s alliance probably wants to get rid of Tom or JT first.
	#7 Parvati: With Russell on the outs with the rest of the Villains (supposedly), where does this leave poor Parvati? Surely there’s someone she can lure with her seductive ways.
	#8 Rupert: Boy, did J-Pro dress down “Survivor’s” favorite son at tribal council or what?! There are a couple of cases of less-than-heroic Heroes on the blue side and nobody’s feeling that more that the tie-dye pirate.
	#9 Danielle: Have we heard more than three words from Danielle this season? The only strategy we’ve seen from her is a brief talk with Russell. Did she join Russell’s dumb a—girl alliance, or is she on Boston Rob’s side?
	#10 Boston Rob: Boston Rob has been playing this game like a champ. Unfortunately, where the Heroes are whittling their tribe down by the weakest players, the Villains are in a position to take out some of their stronger players.
	#11 Tom: No matter what happens from this point on, I want it to be known that I’m a Tom fan for life. I thought he was a machine in Palau and he’s living up to that billing in Samoa. But again, his time in the game probably hinges on what Candice does.
	#12 JT: Was JT’s move to get rid of Cirie entertaining? Yup. Was it smart? Probably not. If Candice decides to stay with the other side of the camp, he, Tom, and Colby could be gone next.
	#13 Coach: Jeez, Coach…sorry your woobie was hurt last week, but you’d better watch all of that quitting talk. That can land you in a world of trouble.
	#14 Amanda: If Amanda is smart, she’s trying to become Candice’s best friend right about now. Because if Candice decides to side with Team Tom, Amanda’s surely the next to go.
	#15 James: Judging by the previews, it looks like James might be the latest victim of the dreaded Schmergen Brawl challenge. Hopefully it’s not serious and he can continue. Medical evacuations are the worst. That and Stephenie will make fun of him.
	#16 Russell: C’mon Russell. You didn’t really go for a walk and let Sandra catch you looking for the idol, did you? For entertainment value, I hope you stay. For that less-than-impressive move, you may have to go.

More “Survivor” Fun: I had a chance to ask a bunch of former and current players who their picks are for the Biggest Hero in “Survivor” History. Also, don’t miss Fancast’s exclusive commentary from “Survivor: The Amazon” winner Jenna Morasca.