More Whatnot

Last Week: Matt came back from Redemption Island, ratted out Mike, and was voted out. Ralph used his immunity idol for no good reason, and the merge tribe was named after Amber’s stuffed animal. Basically everything is coming up Rob.

Tonight I expect him to trip over a bowling ball-sized diamond and fall into a puddle of chocolate ice cream.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…

The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
David – 31, Defense Attorney
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing loneliness)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student

Prediction: The previews say we’re getting two Tribal Councils tonight. I wonder if that means we’ll be getting some predictable votes…

We kick this shindig off with Matt making his not-so-triumphant return to Redemption Island. He thinks he’s the most naïve person in the history of “Survivor.” “Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites” Erik Reichenbach might disagree with that. But it’s an issue that’s certainly open for debate.

The following morning, David and Steve are giving Boston Rob props for his blindside. Julie isn’t as impressed with it. She thinks it was cold blooded.

Later, Ralph asks Ashley and Natalie if he is on the “Chaw Blaw.” Apparently that is Ralph for “Chopping Block.” He tells the girls that he’ll vote for them in the final three instead of Boston Rob. No concrete deal was offered there, so I’m not sure what he was getting at.

The Robfather then lets us in on his plan for the second half of the game. He wants to keep Ometepe separate from Zapatera. He wants Ometepe to hate Zapatera. Just like the Sharks and the Jets.

Whoa…I don’t like musical theater. I meant the Hatfields and the McCoys.

That was close…

Rob has also implemented a buddy system. He doesn’t want any Ometepians to be caught by themselves.  He also wants his Ometepe buddies to be arrogant toward Zapatera so they’ll vote for Rob at the end.

So smart. It’s like he’s played this game before or something.

After Rob takes us through his twelve-tiered plan, Natalie spills the beans about Ralph’s weird deal with Ashley. Apparently Ashley didn’t think it was important to share this information with Rob. As you’d imagine, Rob disagrees.

Immunity Challenge Time: The players will dig in the sand for a club. Once they have the club they’ll break a tile. The first six players to break a tile will advance. Then, those six players will submerge their heads into a water tank. They’ll get a mouthful of water, then crawl under the tank, and spit it in a tube. First three people to fill their tube up to a line will move on to a puzzle. First person to complete their puzzle wins immunity.

Quick Aside: Am I the only one who thinks of “Double Dare” when they have to fill a tube up to a line?

Oh, and Phillip found a magic hawk feather. It appeared out of thin air while he was meditating. Yes, I’m serious. How can he possibly lose?

Not much to describe in the first part of the challenge except for some good old fashioned diggin’. Grant, Rob, Ralph, Mike, David, and Julie all advance.

Again, not much to describe in the second round except for some dunkin’ and a spittin’. Grant, Mike, and David advance.

The puzzle involved putting together a bunch of Tetris pieces. Grant completed it first to win immunity. So much for David’s puzzle prowess.

Hmm…if I ever start a band, I might call it Puzzle Prowess.

We meet up with the Murlonians back at camp. David and Mike decide to mess with the “Mariano Crime Syndicate” (as David puts it) and start digging underneath the flag. Rob and Phillip go idol crazy and start digging with them. It seems like Rob has some idol paranoia. That’s understandable after the trick Russell pulled on him last year. However, I think he’s fine, they usually only do one idol after the merge.

That night at Tribal Council, Phillip lets us know that his great great grandfather (a former Cherokee) told him that an Ometepe player will live long in “Survivor” lore.

I’ve got nothing.

David says he thinks Phillip is on the bottom of the Ometepe alliance. Phillip’s OK with that because he enjoys it on the bottom.

Get your mind out of the gutter, this is a family website.

Ralph thinks he may be the next person to get a hawk feather. Phillip disagrees because it takes courage and determination to get a magic feather.

David thinks Phillip sounds like a lunatic. Phillip thinks David sounds like a “Guy on the bottom of a cesspool.”

Casting has to be somewhere high-fiving each other right now.

Voting Time: Steve votes for Phillip and the rest of the votes are super secret.

J-Pro does his tallying thing then returns. Five votes for Phillip, five votes for Mike, and the ninth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Mike.

Back at camp, Rob tells Phillip that he isn’t at the bottom, he’s on the top. Rob feels like Phillip is a loyal soldier and is probably the perfect person to take to the end.

Apparently Phillip gets this too. He realizes that the more he antagonizes Zapatera the better he’ll look to Rob. Phillip knows he’ll have to make a move to prove he’s worth a million dollars, but now isn’t the time.

Sorry, I had to rewind that. Did Phillip say something that made total sense?

Immunity Challenge Time…Again: The players will hang from a bar. After twenty minutes they won’t be allowed to use their arms and will have to hang by their legs. Last person left hanging wins immunity.

Probsty gives the players the chance to forfeit their chance at immunity in exchange for a picnic lunch. Phillip and Steve decide to eat.

Really, Steve?

Again, not much to describe here except for hangin’. Rob has trouble getting comfortable and is the first person to fall.

When the twenty minutes are up, people start dropping quickly. Julie, Grant, and Ralph drop first.

After forty five minutes we lose David. The girls start negotiating…Natalie and Ashley agree to drop out and give Andrea immunity.

Back at camp, the Zapaterans notice that there are tons of fish in the fishing net. However, all of the fish are dead. Rob is worried that the fish are bad because rigor mortis has set in. Ralph isn’t concerned, he’s going to eat them anyway.

Grant doesn’t have a problem with it either. He goes over and tries the fish. Uh oh…is that the merge equivalent of shaking someone’s hand after a challenge?

Politicking comes down to Steve vs. David. Apparently Steve is ready to go home, but David is the more dangerous player.

That night at Tribal Council, Phillip teaches Jeff about Stealth R Us. Oh man…it must sound so cool in his head.

Also, Andrea, Ashley, and Natalie have been upgraded to “The Three Degrees.” What, they don’t deserve individual nicknames?

Ralph gives Phillip some grief about sitting out of the challenge.

Julie calls out Ometepe for using the buddy system. She also says they’re more of a cult than a tribe.

Voting Time…Again: David votes for Rob four times, (is that legal?) the rest aren’t shown.

Four votes for Rob, five votes for David and the tenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…David.

Note: Apparently David’s multi-Rob vote only counted once. I give the lawyer credit for looking for the loophole.

Verdict: I was right, two predictable votes. I was worried that things would slow down as the Zapaterans were eliminated, but Jeff Probst promised an “Unreal” Tribal Council for next week during his Twitter chat. Can’t wait.

Also, are we getting a three-way dance at Redemption Island next week?

Who’s Going to Win? Could Natalie sneak in there and win this Natalie White-style?

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Mike in spot eleven. Sash had David in spot six, I had him in spot seven. So, I gained a whole point!  Booyah. The current score is now Team Sash 104, Team Gordon 94. Reader Liam was the only person to get the best of me. Congrats to Liam.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

Last Week: David had an alliance and crossed it, Rob found a clue and tossed it, and Sarita had an advantage and lost it.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing a win-and-in shot at redemption)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer

Buckle up, alliance. With several swing votes in play, tonight should be interesting.

We kick this party off at Zapatera, and apparently Ralph was the only person who didn’t vote for Sarita. Kudos to the rest of the Brady Bunch for outsmarting him. That’s quite an accomplishment.

Meanwhile over at Redemption Island, Matt is very happy to see Sarita as he thinks he can take her in a challenge. Your God would not smile on you being boastful, Matthew.

Matthew asks Sarita if Zapatera is as bad as he’s heard from Russell, Stephanie, and Krista. She says they’re good folks and proceeds to talk up the people who just booted her out. Huh…she might not get this game.

Fun Fact: Last week I interviewed Stephanie from “Survivor” and foul-mouthed, beer-drinking “Stone Cold” Steve Austin from the WWE. Guess who I had to bleep the most? It wasn’t Austin.

Redemption Island invites go out…but this time everybody is invited. Phillip uses his Secret Agent powers to deduce that it’s merge time. He should watch the previews like I do, it’s much easier. Although, it’s not always terribly accurate.

Over at Redemption Island, Matt decided to give Sarita a bit of an advantage by accidentally slicing his foot open. He’d better hope the challenge isn’t one of those ones where you stand still for a long time…
Redemption Island Challenge: Players will stand still for a long time (on little pegs in between walls). As the challenge continues they’ll move down to smaller pegs. First person to drop loses. The winner is allowed back into the game.

During the challenge, Probst gets Phillip to expound upon the Bushido code. I’m pretty sure he did this to try to get someone to quit. Unfortunately, nobody bites.

Matt seems to be having difficulty with his injured foot, but he holds out longer than Sarita. She’s gone, he’s back into the game.

To nobody’s surprise, the tribes merge. J-Pro tosses out clean black buffs and they’ll all head off to a new beach. And as an added zinger, Redemption Island is back in play after the next Tribal Council. So conceivably, Matt could be voted out twice and still win “Survivor.” Crazy new world.

In other news, Zapatera’s “keeping the guy who’s good at puzzles” vs. “keeping the woman who’s loyal” move is looking pretty stupid right about now.

After the commercial break we meet up with the tribe on their new beach as they enjoy their merge feast. If you’ve never seen one of these before (and if you haven’t, why would you read this recap?) imagine half-naked people gorging themselves while squealing…except grosser.

Rob continues the proud tradition of giving the merged tribe a nickname that supposedly means something deep but is actually an inside joke. In this case, the tribe is named after one of Amber’s stuffed animals, Murlonio. I stand by my belief that any merge tribe name is better than “Nobag.”

Mike realizes that now is the time for the Bradys to swing the numbers in their favor. He takes Matt out for a moonlit walk (OK, it wasn’t moonlit) and makes his case for bringing Matt and Andrea on board. Mike even claims to have access to Ralph’s immunity idol if he needs it. That is very dumb.

That night, a clear division is shown between the tribes as the Ometepians cuddle up under their tarp while the Zapaterans are left to get drenched during a rainstorm.

Matt takes Andrea aside and explains to her his plan to get revenge on the former members of Ometepe. Revenge? God’s totally against that. Andrea pretends to be into it, but realizes that stabbing all of her allies in the back might not be the best move. Smart girl that Andrea.

The next morning we meet up with Mike, Ashley, and Matt as they read the Bible. Rob lets us know that he doesn’t have a problem with God, but he doesn’t like anyone bonding over anything during the game. Oh man, Rob vs. God next season. Make this happen, CBS!

Immunity Challenge Time: Each player will perch on a log while balancing a ball on a disc. As time goes on, the players will have to add balls to their disc. If you drop a ball, you’re eliminated. Last player standing wins a sweet immunity necklace.

No, you’re not getting any ball, disc, or log jokes out of me. However, feel free to make your own.

Not much to describe here except a bunch of standing and wiggling.

Julie is the first to go.

The second ball is added and quickly claims Ashley. David doesn’t make it through this round either.

The third ball is added. Andrea, Grant, and Matt go first. Then we lose Rob and Phillip. It’s down to Mike, Steve, Natalie, and Ralph.

Ralph tried to coax his balls toward the center of his disc with some whistling, but is unsuccessful. He’s out. Steve goes next.

Mike and Natalie are the final two. Mike seems like he’s got this under control, but a fly lands on one of his balls.

Again, no jokes.

He eventually loses his balance and steps off of his log. Natalie wins immunity.

Politicking around the Murlonio tribe centers around the Zapaterans gunning for Grant because they think people will expect them to go for Rob.

Meanwhile, Rob takes Matt aside to discuss what happened earlier in the game. Matt decides that he’s going to stay loyal to his side and go as far as God wants him to. He then tells Rob about his talk with Mike about Ralph’s immunity idol.

I don’t know how far The Almighty wants Matt to go in this game, but God is clearly giving all the breaks to Rob.

Rob of course doesn’t take this at face value and decides that Matt can’t be trusted and should be sent back to Redemption Island.

As Rob goes to alert the troops, Matt starts to feel a little paranoid. Mike takes this opportunity to try to get Matt back on his side. Mike slips Matt a note that says he’ll take him to the final three if he votes for Grant. The writing on the note was very light, so I couldn’t tell if he signed it with Xs and Os.

Matt shares the note with Andrea. Then Rob tells Andrea about his move to boot Matt. Andrea is between a rock and a religious place.

That night at Tribal Council, David points out that the Zapaterans weren’t welcome under the tarp.

Ashley thinks that since they won it, they should get to use it. David doesn’t think they really won it because Zapatera threw that challenge. Yeah, but they still won it.

Phillip says that Ometepe would never throw a challenge. David tried to interrupt him, but you can imagine how well that went.

Matt admits that the politics on Redemption Island were a lot easier.

Ralph makes the point that Matt should join the Bradys because Ometepe voted him out before.

Matt says he’s starting to see the big picture…oooh…elusive.

Voting Time: No votes are shown…oooh…double elusive.

J-Pro asks in anyone wants to play an idol. Ralph stands and plays it for Mike. So why not just give it to him earlier? Not dramatic enough?

Five votes for Grant, one vote for Steve, five votes for Matt…and the eighth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Matt.

David greatly appreciates this bit of strategy from Ometepe. The rest of Zapatera feels terrible for poor Matt.

Verdict: Oh man…that is hilarious. Poor kid. At least he’ll be comfortable back on Redemption Island.

I don’t love this move by Rob. Anything that depends on putting your trust in Phillip seems super risky. But, at least it’s entertaining. Go “Survivor.”

Who’s Going to Win? You’ve got to like the girls from Ometepe who aren’t making a lot of noise. Natalie’s got to be a strong pick at this point.

Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Matt winning the Redemption Island challenge. (Yeah, we really went out on a limb there.) Sash had Matt in spot ten, I had him in spot six. So, Sash jumps up to a big 87 to 76 lead. Readers Jacob and @SherriErwin got the best of me.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Nicaragua” finalist Matthew “Sash” Lenahan and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” loudmouth Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if David is voted out this week, Sash will receive 6 points and Gordon will receive 5 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person  with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Redemption Island” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Both Sash and I had Matt as the Redemption Island winner. He had Sarita in spot 11, I had her in spot 9. So, Sash added two points to his lead. The score is now Team Sash 76, Team Gordon 69.

Wanna Play? Last week, several “Survivor” fans posted their own Power Rankings on Twitter. Tag me (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings, or post your picks in the comment section of this post. If you do better than I do, (which is highly likely) I’ll give you credit in my weekly recap.

TEAM SASH Current Score: 76	.	TEAM GORDON Current Score: 69
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#1 Andrea – Andrea has recovered incredibly since losing Matt and has a great shot at the end if she can align with the right people and play off both alliances.	.	#1 Natalie – Rule #1 of a merge seems to be to get rid of the other tribe’s most dangerous player. Natalie, that ain’t you.

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#2 Ashley – Ashley hasn’t needed to play the game yet.  I believe that if she gets in the zone, she could be unstoppable.	.	#2 Ashley – Ashley, that ain’t you either.

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#3 Natalie – The women of both tribes could be very powerful with the men fighting among themselves for a chance at the end.  As long as Natalie keeps tagging along, she’ll end up where most “Survivor” babes do.	.	#3  Andrea – With Matt potentially coming back into the game, Andrea has a ton of options. She’s going to go far.

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#4 Julie – Julie will be dreaming of what life could have been like if she would have joined forces with Russell.  Her only strategy now will be teaming with the girls…who are half her age.	.	#4 Julie – As the least offensive and least threatening member of the Brady Bunch, she’s going to be safe. And if Team Rob manages to get a numbers advantage, she’ll be the last Zapatatian to go home. She may even have some wiggle room.

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#5 Steve – Steve’s lack of gameplay and lack of physical ability during the challenges could be his only saving grace.  Funny how “Survivor” oftentimes rewards the underperformers in exactly this way.	.	#5 David – The merge came at just the right time for David. If Zapatera had lost again he’d have been out of options. David’s getting a second chance to be the strategic player we’d hoped he’d be.

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#6 David – “I don’t trust you, but I have no problem with you.”  That kind of language won’t get anyone far in this game, but if he can keep his ego in check, David could easily outlast most of his original tribe.	.	#6 Matt – There is no bigger swing vote than the guy who has spent the majority of the game away from strategic discussions.  Right now voting him out has been the biggest flaw in Rob’s game.

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#7 Phillip – The merge will save Phillip’s life in this game if he can play the swing vote properly.  Look for this Special Agent to surprise everyone by making a run for the end.	.	#7 Phillip – The merge is where the swing votes prosper. And as the least popular member of Ometepe, Phillip looks to prosper. And, I think he and Ralph have a sitcom future in front of them if they team up.

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#8 Mike – Mike should be the biggest target from the original Zapatera due to his ability to win challenges.  If the merged tribe allows him to go far, he could easily win this game.	.	#8 Steve – With two idols in play, things could get really confusing. If Phillip told Rob about Ralph’s idol, someone like Steve or Mike could be in serious trouble.

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#9 Grant – If Grant can last through the first post-merge tribal council, he could last all the way to the end.  His physical prowess could hurt him if he continues to dominate challenges though.	.	#9 Ralph – If Ometepe is going to vote based on challenge strength, Ralph is probably safe. If they vote based on who was annoying them with post-challenge rooster calls, he could be in trouble.

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#10 Matt – If Final Tribal Council was this week, Matt would win by a landslide.  Due to this, he will have difficulty at camp since everyone knows he could easily take them on like the Samurai Warrior he is.	.	#10 Boston Rob – I’m 99% sure Rob is safe. There’s no way he’d let himself be voted out while he still has an idol…right?

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#11 Ralph – Ralph is still holding tight to his idol and everyone knows it.  If he’s smart he’ll get rid of it quickly.  Is he smart?	.	#11 Grant – Will Boston Rob save Grant if given the opportunity? Not if Zapatera can rally some numbers (Phillip, Andrea, Matt) and it comes down to the two of them.

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#12 Boston Rob – Rob has carried his tribe into the merge with numbers and an idol that he won’t want to use.  Now that his tribemates have used him to make it this far, who will be carrying who?	.	#12 Mike – There is no way of knowing how this merge is going to shake out. All you can really do is rank the likely targets at the bottom of the rankings. Mike, you and Grant are probably viewed as the biggest threats.

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Redemption Island Winner – Since Sarita did not even remember to take her belongings from camp to Tribal Council where she was voted out, I have no doubt she will forget her game face on Redemption Island.	.	Redemption Island Winner – Bet against Matt? Can’t do it. What’ll be interesting is Matt could potentially be voted out of this game twice and still win the game.

Any questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

Last Week: Grant dominated a challenge, proving he’s quite good at games, Phillip made an imaginary alliance and handed out nicknames, and David’s attempt to save Stephanie went down in flames.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing very little in common)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Stephanie – 26, Waitress

We start off over at Zapatera beach after Tribal Council where David is telling Sarita that he doesn’t trust her, but he doesn’t have a problem with her. I’d consider not trusting someone a problem. But, I’m sensitive.

Sarita tries to make peace, but David isn’t having it. What’s with people not knowing when to make nice this season? David’s on the bottom of this alliance, he should be everybody’s buddy. Andrea gets it, why doesn’t he? It’s like David has come down with a case of Stephanie-itis.

Speaking of Stephanie, she’s at Redemption Island telling Matt about the food she can’t wait to eat. He’s ready for the challenge to start, because Stephanie would rather talk about chocolate shakes and snickerdoodles than God.

Invitations go out for Redemption Island, Phillip wants to go with Rob so he can keep an eye on him. Phillip compares his strategy to a book by famous Japanese horseman, Miyamoto Musashi.

For real! Does Phillip’s Coach impersonation know no bounds? Can I pitch Coach vs. Phillip for next season? Can we call it “Survivor: I-Have-No-Idea-What-to-Believe Island”?

Rob has a similar plan. He wants to keep Phillip close so he can keep him out of trouble. He refers to him as the most unaware person he’s ever met in his life.  Wait, Rob and Coach were on the same tribe. Maybe Coach is doing a Phillip impersonation?

In other news, David and Ralph will attend the challenge for Zapatera.

Redemption Island Challenge: The players will flip tiles looking for matching symbols. First person to match five pairs wins.

Matt goes first and finds a match with two random symbols.

Stephanie follows this up by finding a match with two random symbols.

Both go again and have no luck.

Matt gets the next match.

Steph misses with her next turn.

Note: It’s at this point that it occurs to me that I’m basically doing play-by-play for a great big game of Memory. My parents are so proud.

Both of them find matches on their next try.

Matt gets another match.

Steph answers with a match of her own.

The current score is Matt 4, Steph 3.

Matt fails to get his next one…as does Stephanie.

Matt finishes her off, finding a final match.

I know it’s too late to make challenge suggestions, but maybe they could do a big game of Operation using the Jack Black “Gulliver’s Travels” dolls from last season.

Before Stephanie heads off, she tells Ralph that Zapatera will be in trouble if they don’t get rid of Sarita. She then warns Rob that they’re going to be gunning for him. She’s like a little, adorable Russell.

J-Pro asks Phillip what he thinks of Matt. Phillip says that Matt is a samurai warrior and follows the bushido code.

And…I’m officially out of Coach/Phillip jokes. Feel free to make up your own.

When Rob and Phillip are on their way back to camp, Phillip asks Rob if he wants to share all of the information with the tribe. Rob says he wants everyone to be open so they can remain a solid unit. Later, Rob confesses that he’s glad Phillip asked about that so he can use it against him. Rob is convinced that Phillip is ready to flip.

Rob relays this little tidbit to the rest of his tribe while Phillip takes a break to climb a tree. To punctuate Rob’s point, Phillip promptly falls out of the tree.

Phillip’s fun.

Over at Zapatera, the Brady Bunch has decided that David is going to be bad luck after the merge like a Hawaiian tiki idol. I wonder if anyone under 30 gets that joke.

Back at Ometepe, the tribe is fighting over the crispy rice at the bottom of the pot. Apparently this is some kind of “Survivor” delicacy like cherry Starburst jelly beans.

What? They’re totally the best ones.

It seems like Rob is a big fan of the crispy rice and the girls were saving it for him. However, Phillip only had non-crispy rice.

No, I’m not making this up.

As you’d expect, this lack of crispy rice respect sends Phillip over the edge. He feels like all of the tribe members should have equal access to the crispy rice. In fact, as the oldest member of the tribe, he deserves more crispy rice than everyone else.

It never fails, after twenty two seasons, “Survivor” always comes down to food.

Immunity Challenge Time: Both tribes will rush through a series of poorly described obstacles and collect bags of balls along the way. At the end, they’ll shoot those balls into a basket. The first tribe to sink all six balls wins immunity and a super fun picnic.

Both teams are dead even until they have to retrieve their first bag from a large corkscrew. Rob ingeniously tries a tetherball-esque method and gets the bag quickly.

Ometepe maintains this lead until Phillip gets caught climbing through a ropes course. Next to him falling out of the tree, this is the second funniest bit of physical comedy he’s done this episode. Dick Van Dyke would be proud.

At the second large cockscrew obstacle, David uses Rob’s technique to give Zapatera a lead, while Rob accidentally pushes the bag the wrong way.

Things even up once it comes to the hoop shooting. In fact, the score was tied five to five until Grant sank the final shot to give Ometepe the win.

After a commercial break, we meet up with the victors as they enjoy a picnic on the edge of an active volcano. Rob, of course, immediately figures out where the clue is and snatches it up. During a confessional, he explains that he doesn’t need the clue and throws it into the volcano. Wait, what’s he gonna tell Grant?

Early consensus around the Brady Bunch seems to be that it’s David’s turn to go home. However, Ralph and Steve were both impressed with how well David did in the tetherball portion of the challenge, so Sarita could be in trouble.

That night at Tribal Council, Ralph makes an excuse as to why the tribe didn’t win immunity.

J-Pro busts out some Mad Libs for David and asks him to finish the sentence, “Excuses are for ___.”

David promptly responds, “Losers.”

Ralph shrugs it off, saying he must be a loser.

Finally, Ralph and I agree on something.

Again, Probsty brings up the Curse of the Thrown Challenge. Julie seems to buy into it. Does anyone else remember the challenge they won a few weeks ago?

Jeff asks Ralph how important it is for the group to be cohesive. Ralph responds that he doesn’t know what “cohesive” means.

Again, I am not making this stuff up. If you missed the episode you can watch it on XFINITY TV the morning after it airs.

Jeff doesn’t have a dictionary handy, so he changes tactics, asking Ralph if he’d rather have a team of strong players that doesn’t get along, or a team that’s less strong and gets along.

Ralph chooses the stronger team, Steve disagrees.

Voting Time: Sarita votes for David, David votes for Sarita, and the rest of the votes will wait until some serious tallying takes place.

Fortunately, Jeff Probst is just the guy to perform such tallying. One vote for Sarita, two votes for David, two votes for Sarita…and the seventh person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Sarita.

Verdict: I was getting ready to type that all of the eliminations have been predictable, but then David threw us that curveball. I think I underestimated him. Well played, Mauer.

That said, I’m ready for mergeville (which we will see next week, along with the Redemption Island winner returning to the game). With Andrea, Phillip, Matt, Sarita, and David as possible flippers, it should be interesting.

Who’s Going to Win? Still anybody’s ballgame at this point. But I’m still liking Julie as my dark horse.

Power Rankings Update: Both Sash and I had Matt as the Redemption Island winner. He had Sarita in spot 11, I had her in spot 9. So, Sash added two points to his lead. The score is now Team Sash 76, Team Gordon 69. On Twitter, I was bested by both @SherriErwin and @JohnSActon.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.