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WWE’s Adam ‘Edge’ Copeland Cleans Up Syfy’s ‘Haven’

August 5, 2011

Whenever I interview a pro wrestler, I always ask them how they prefer to be addressed.

Adam Copeland is the first to request his real name.

I didn’t think much of it at first until we started talking about his sudden retirement due to injury. It was then that I realized that he’d been Edge for over a decade and was now forced into being Adam.

During the interview we discussed his transition from wrestling to acting, how working on “Haven” has helped him deal with an emotional time, and when it’s appropriate for Canadians to use baseball analogies.

Gordon Holmes: You seem to suck at retirement. You only retired a few short months ago and you’re already back working in Syfy’s “Haven.”
Adam “Edge” Copeland: It was kind of one of those happy accidents. Like you said, I’d retired and got a call from WWE, I think it was within like three days, and they asked if I’d be interested in flying out to Nova Scotia and doing an episode of “Haven.” I thought it’d be fun. I figured I’d go and try not to be too horrible at it. We did one episode to test the waters and they liked the character, or what I did with it, and then they brought me back for three more episodes.
Holmes: What can you tell us about your character Dwight Hendrickson?
Copeland: He’s the clean-up hitter. If things go strange or need to be swept under the carpet he’s the guy that comes in after the fact and takes care of that kind of stuff. So that the strange happenings of “Haven” don’t make it past the people that already know.
Holmes: Clean-up hitter? Are Canadians allowed to use baseball analogies?
Copeland: Well, we’ve got the Blue Jays. (Laughs) The catcher for the Twins is Canadian. He’s pretty good.
Holmes: Joe Mauer is Canadian? OK, I’ll accept that.
Copeland: I should’ve used a hockey reference. I guess you could say I was a goon. But Dwight does more than just fight.

Watch Full Episodes of “Haven” on Your Computer

Holmes: With your wrestling background, I’m sure you have to deal with a lot of surly characters. Did that help you with your motivation for Dwight?
Copeland: Yeah, and that was one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much. The storylines are kind of dark and creepy with all of those supernatural things going on. And I’ve always gravitated toward that kind of thing whether it be WWE and the larger-than-life aspects of that or music. It was a natural for me once I got on the set. “Haven” has a little bit of a comic book element to it that I really enjoyed.
Holmes: You’ve been in the WWE for quite a number of years. We won’t get into the exact number.
Copeland: Thanks. (Laughs)
Holmes: You’re a young retiree. We’ll leave it at that. But when you’re wrestling you have to be big to sell it to the cheap seats, where in television your head could be 10-feet tall and every movement is magnified. Was making that transition tough for you?
Copeland: It was because I have a naturally big head anyway. (Laughs) That’s been the biggest challenge in anything I’ve done so far. I’m so used to going over the top, and like you said, getting the point across to someone who could be 70,000 people away. Now the camera picks up every little nuance, every eyebrow raise. And because you can’t see yourself, thankfully I had some really good directors. They really helped me along with “OK, pull back here some.” But at the same time, I think it’s easier to pull back than to push forward.
Holmes: I’ve always heard it’s the actor’s job to go out there and the director’s job to pull him back.
Copeland: Yeah, and for me…this is all new to me. So I was kind of hoping that would be the case. In this one episode Jason Priestly was the director and I asked him if I was doing OK. He said, “If you weren’t, I would tell you.”
Holmes: Jason Priestly is Canadian right?
Copeland: Yes he is.
Holmes: I’d bet I’d get hockey analogies out of him.
Copeland: (Laughs) There were a lot of Canadian jokes because Lucas Bryant grew up 20 minutes away from me. He plays Nathan. So, there was a lot of Southern Ontarian humor.

Holmes: Your wrestling retirement was extremely sudden. How hard was it on you to be defending the title at “Wrestlemania” one day, and then out of the business the next?
Copeland: It was an interesting time. The first couple of days I went through that period of feeling sorry for myself. I was, “What? What are you talking about? I know better than you, surgeon.”
Holmes: (Laughs) Well played.
Copeland: (Laughs) But then what I said in my retirement speech was true. I talked to Christian and he said, “Sit down and think about it. Get past everything else.” And in that respect, it’s actually a pretty good way to go out. Because of the fact that it was because of injury is frustrating. I haven’t missed doing it yet. Also, with “Haven” falling in my lap, it’s helped the process. It wasn’t 120 to reverse. Now it’s 120 to like 60. It was nice to gently dip my foot into retirement.
Holmes: Christian has been given a chance to step up in your absence. Does that help ease the transition?
Copeland: It does. He deserved the shot whether I was there or not. And one regret, well, I won’t even say regret, but we were building to him and I going against each other. Which for us would have been fun. But, if any positive can come from me leaving, it’s them realizing that they’ve got to give him a shot. And I know now that he’s got that shot he’s going to kick the door open. He always has. The fans have always seen him there. They’ve always understood that he deserves to be there. But I think it was going to happen regardless of if I was there or not.

Holmes: There seems to be a new direction with Triple H becoming the COO and C.M. Punk taking off. What’s your take on that?
Copeland: You know, I haven’t watched “Raw.” One of the things I need to do in the process of getting away from it has really been getting away from it. I’m just not ready to sit down and watch it, well, I’ll watch (Christian’s) stuff.
Holmes: You are going to be in Los Angeles for “SummerSlam” though, right?
Copeland: Yes, and I probably won’t watch it. (Laughs)
Holmes: So you’re not ready to enjoy it on that level?
Copeland: I’m not ready to watch it and not do it. Not yet. I don’t know when yet will be. You’ve seen guys who can’t turn it off, and they can’t not be the character that they played. I’ve always really tried to make sure that isn’t the case. And I think part of that is stepping away from it.

Holmes: It looks like they’re building up to John Cena vs. The Rock at this year’s “Wrestlemania.” Not a lot of people have worked both of them, but you have. What’s your take on that bout?
Copeland: I think it’ll be good for business. I don’t think there are many instances where you can take guys who are at the forefronts of different eras.  I think the last time you got that was Hogan and Rock. And you saw how that turned out. I think match quality-wise it’ll be better. And I know both guys’ attitudes, they want to go out there and leave it out there, as cliché as that sounds. I may watch that. I’ll probably be down there for “Wrestlemania.” Maybe by “Wrestlemania” time I’ll be able to sit down and watch an entire show.
Holmes: I understand.  It’s like you want your ex-girlfriend to do well, but you don’t want her to do too well.
Copeland: (Laughs) You just don’t want her to do better than you.

Watch “Haven” on Syfy, Friday nights at 10 p.m. ET.

Follow me on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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Impact Wrestling’s Rob Van Dam on ‘Bound for Glory,’ Hulk Hogan & Jeff Hardy

August 4, 2011

You know why wrestling’s the best? It isn’t the flashy costumes, the cool nicknames, or the amazing feats of athleticism.

It’s the ability to refer to yourself in the third person.

The Rock does it, the Hulkster does it, but I’d argue that nobody does it better than Rob Van Dam. I got a chance to hang out with Impact Wrestling’s “Whole F’n Show” (or as he’d refer to himself, “RVD”) backstage at a special invitation-only event held at this year’s San Diego Comic Con. While there we discussed what sets him apart from other high flyers, why he joined Impact Wrestling, and the possible return of Jeff Hardy.

Gordon Holmes: I know you’re a bit of a comic fan. Did you get a chance to wander out and see some of the sights?
Rob Van Dam: Yeah, I walked the whole floor yesterday, this is I think my 8th or 9th year coming here. I’m a big comic fan and I’m always hunting and finding things. Not so this year, there’s nothing I want that I don’t already have.

Watch Full Episodes of ‘Impact Wrestling’ on Your Computer

Holmes: I caught the match between you and Jerry Lynn a few weeks ago at “Destination X.” You two brought the house down. What were your thoughts on the match?
Van Dam: I liked the match. It’s always a good match. My favorite match of my career was RVD vs. Jerry Lynn, for the reasons of the competitive spirit that comes out, the limits that we push each other to, and the chemistry that I don’t have with anyone else in the industry. I haven’t wrestled him since 2001, but we picked up right where we left off.
Holmes: I talked to Hulk Hogan a few days ago, he’s here promoting “Saints Row the Third.” He agreed that you and Lynn had a hell of a match. What does it mean to receive that kind of praise from someone with a background like Hulk Hogan?
Van Dam: It means a lot. I don’t even know if Hulk knows what a fan I am of his. But of course, I’m from a generation that grew up on Hulkamania, so he should know that. There’s only one Hulk. He might be the most recognizable person on the whole planet. I’m not even going to just limit it to athletes. He’s reached a phenomenal spot that I don’t think anybody else will. He’s also the reason that I came to TNA. I hadn’t planned on it even after talking to Dixie (Carter), Vince Russo, (Eric) Bischoff, and (Jason) Hervey. They wanted me to be excited and it wasn’t happening. I said, “When they’re serious, Hulk Hogan will call me.” And when he did I said, “Alright, let’s start talking.” By the way, RVD is also in “Saints Row.” I don’t think anybody knows that yet.
Holmes: What character are you playing?
Van Dam: I commentated during the wrestling. I don’t even know what my character’s name is, but I was reading the script, and ad-libbing and adding a lot to it. The game seems like it’s a lot of fun. One of the lines is, “Oh my God! He’s got a chainsaw!” It’s crazy.
Holmes: Are you a gamer at all?
Van Dam: Not at all. I appreciate games; I used to play them when I was young. But, I don’t spend any time on them.

Holmes: There are hundreds guys that can do flips and high-flying maneuvers. What is it about you that stands out?
Van Dam: Well, for one, I’m the real deal. I am a bad ass. I am a tough guy, I’m not pretending to be. I went through martial arts. I went through kick boxing. I went through tough man competitions before I ever went to wrestling school. So, the confidence I have isn’t a part of a character. It’s me knowing that when I’m in that ring I feel safe giving my body up. And my style is a combination of martial arts and acrobatics. And, I had an old-school pro wrestling teacher, the original Sheik. That’s what’s missing in so many of the wrestlers these days. They have no link to the old school, they don’t understand the actual roots and the basics of what wrestling is and what it’s about. Some of them may have been trained by somebody who got trained by someone who trained themself. They may be good enough to get into the business, but the agents and the people watching know they’re missing something.
Holmes: As you said, you were trained by the original Sheik. He was a wild man. What did he say the first time he saw you hop up onto the top rope and deliver a split-legged moonsault?
Van Dam: He said, “Show me a headlock.” He didn’t want me getting on the top rope. Every time the guy I’m working out with, if his shoulders are on the mat? Cover him. Cover him. Cover him! That’s what Sheik was all about. Grab him, headlock, hammerlock.

Holmes: “Bound for Glory” is going to be held in my hometown and a place you have a lot of history with, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Is coming back to the home of the original ECW special to you?
Van Dam: It totally is, cause I know I’ll feel some deep love from all the fans in Philly. They appreciate what I’ve done for the business. They appreciate what I do outside of the ring. And they’re really hardcore fans in Philly, so they know the difference. They may boo the guys that get cheered in other towns because that’s what they’re all about. They’re the most judgmental crowd on the planet. They watch you, they study you and wait for you to slip or your timing to be off so they can say “You (expletive deleted) up! You (expletive deleted) up!” That’s a lot of pressure when you’re out there.
Holmes: Yeah, but we mean that in the nicest possible way.
Van Dam: (Laughs) Hey man, the Philly fans’ standards are way up. It made me rise to the expectation. So, to be the number one guy was really flattering. I couldn’t have been the “Whole F’n Show” without those peoples’ guidance.

Holmes: We haven’t seen Jeff Hardy in a while. Do you think he’ll be able to turn it around and make a comeback?
Van Dam: Yeah, I think so. I haven’t heard anything on the inside, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we heard from him soon.

Holmes: If I’m someone who hasn’t seen Impact Wrestling, what’s the best way to get me on board?
Van Dam: There’s another show out there on your television other than that crap that you have to watch every week. I still get asked every week, “RVD, what happened? You quit wrestling?” I’m like, “You get Spike? Thursday nights at nine!” There’s a lot of potential, it’s going in the right direction, ratings are going up. We have more freedom as wrestlers to express ourselves. We’ve got Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam. This is where everybody wants to be. Everyone’s trying to come here. But it’s not that easy to get in now that the “Whole F’n Show” is here.

Watch ‘Impact Wrestling‘ on Spike TV, Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET.

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WWE Superstar Kane on His Career, WWE Action Figures and Voltron

August 3, 2011

For as long as I can remember, WWE announcers have been telling people that they’ve got to see Kane in person to appreciate how big he is.

And they’re right…the dude’s ginormous.

I went eye-to-eye (more like eye-to-chest) with the man they call The Big Red Machine at this year’s San Diego Comic Con. While we sat above the bustling Mattel merchandise kiosk we talked about his impressive, lengthy career, his collection of Kane memorabilia, and the WWE’s youth movement.

Watch Full Episodes of ‘WWE Smackdown’ Online

Gordon Holmes: Everyone always talks about the Undertaker and his 21 years in the WWE, but you’ve been around for quite some time yourself. What’s been the key to your long… long…
Kane: Longevity?
Holmes: There’s the word. Who’s the writer here?
Kane: (Laughs)
Holmes: What’s the key to THAT in the WWE?
Kane: It’s being able to adapt to changes and also to reinvent yourself. Always being able to do something new. To be able to sort of go with the flow as our business changes. Because it does change and our audience changes.
Holmes: As someone who’s seen a lot in this industry, what advice would you go back and give yourself if you could?
Kane: I think I’d tell myself to have more fun. What we do is hard work. We travel a lot. Of course everybody knows that it’s physically taxing. And we have our other responsibilities; promotional and that sort of thing. I think I’d tell myself to be a little less serious.

Holmes: As I said, you’ve been in the WWE for quite some time. You’ve had quite a few action figures. It seems like they keep getting more and more realistic. Does that freak you out at all?
Kane: No. I think it’s neat to see the process of the figures getting more realistic. And also the different spin the artist uses in the process of making the figurines. You know, they’re all slightly different and have a different look to them.
Holmes: I noticed we’re going to be seeing a classic masked Kane action figure. Does that bring back any bad memories at all?
Kane: (Laughs) No, not at all. In fact I think some of the masked figurines are the best ones. I was just looking at their display of all the different things they’ve done with Rey Mysterio and it’s really impressive.
Holmes: Do you collect Kane memorabilia? Do you have a collection at home?
Kane: Yes…somewhat. This is going to sound sort of weird.
Holmes: Go for it.
Kane: I had some of it displayed at my house and after a while I thought it was really pretentious of me. It’s all boxed away now. There’s just been so much stuff, that it’s boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff at this point.
Holmes: What’s the weirdest piece of Kane merchandise you have?
Kane: Well…I don’t know how much commercial success it had…but there’s the one where you put water into the figure and it would sweat. I don’t know if they appeal to many people, but I thought they were neat.
Holmes: C’mon. Who doesn’t want sweaty wrestler toys?
Kane: Who doesn’t want that, right?
Holmes: You saw some of the legends figures over at the Mattel booth. Are there any legends you’d like to see them do?
Kane: I’m a big fan of Andre the Giant. He’s the ultimate, larger-than-life superstar. So, the more they can do with him the cooler. You know what would be really cool would be a huge one.
Holmes: Would you like to see an Isaac Yankem?
Kane: No. (Laughs)

Holmes: Do you get a chance to participate in the WWE’s charity initiatives?
Kane: Yeah. We do a lot with Make-A-Wish. Those are always bittersweet because it’s awesome to bring joy to somebody’s life. But then you meet these children and some of their stories are just tragic. It’s one of the things that WWE has done that maybe a lot of people don’t know about that we’re very proud of.

Holmes: There seems to be a lot of new talent on the shows these days. Does anyone in particular stand out to you?
Kane: I think there’s a number of guys. I think, even though he’s been around for a little while, that Sheamus is going to do well. I’m a big fan of Daniel Bryan’s. He’s always fighting the odds. It’s one of those deals where whoever emerges and is given an opportunity you hope they’ll be able to carry the ball. You never know.
Holmes: Do you think C.M. Punk has the potential to be the next big thing?
Kane: I don’t know. We’ll see.

Holmes: As a WWE superstar, you’re used to people running around in crazy costumes, so do you feel right at home here at Comic Con?
Kane: A few years ago I was at Comic Con, and I’d gotten up really early to go work out before I did my appearance here. And I’m walking through the streets of San Diego and I’m seeing rebel starship fighters and Princess Leia clones. For a moment I forgot where I was, and I was like, “What in the world is going on!” And some of the costumes are amazing, it’s like they walked off the set of a movie.
Holmes: Now Kane, you just rattled off “Star Wars” characters like you knew what you were talking about.  Are you some kind of closet sci-fi fan?
Kane: (Laughs) Everybody’s a “Star Wars” fan, I think.
Holmes: Likely story.
Kane: Actually in our appearance today in the Mattel booth, they had a gigantic figure of Voltron. And I was like “Oh wow!” It’s sort of neat now that some of the retro stuff from when I was a kid has become more popular.
Holmes: You’re a big dude. That Voltron figure’s gotta be around 12-foot tall. Why don’t you just hoist it over your shoulder and take it home with you?
Kane: (Laughs) I don’t know, I don’t think I can get on an airplane with that thing. It’s huge.

Holmes: So, you’ve done everything. Won every championship…well…except for the one she’s got. (Motions over to Kelly Kelly who’s seated a few feet away holding the WWE Divas championship.)
Kane: (Laughs) Yeah, I don’t want that one.
Holmes: Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice. But pink really isn’t your color.
Kane: Yeah, I know.
Holmes: How much longer do you think we’ll see you in the WWE?
Kane: I don’t know. Seriously, I don’t.
Holmes: Do you still enjoy it?
Kane: Yes…sometimes. I enjoy performing, but the travel really does get to you over time. If I can keep it being fun, I’ll keep on doing it.

Note: As we concluded the interview, a representative from Mattel presented Kane with a brand new Voltron action figure.

Watch Kane on WWE Smackdown, Friday Nights on Syfy at 8 p.m. ET.

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Scenes from a Boston Market

August 1, 2011

INT. A BOSTON MARKET RESTAURANT – NIGHT

A GUY and a GIRL are patiently waiting for their order to be fulfilled. They are both standing at the register.

BOSTON MARKET WORKERS go about their business preparing the order.

The guy looks near the register and sees a large package of brownies. The package is labeled “Family Brownies.”

GUY
That’s sad.

GIRL
Why’s that?

GUY
Apparently all of those brownies are related.

GIRL
No, it’s good. They’ll all be together.

GUY
Yeah, but then they’ll have to see their family members be devoured.

GIRL
Touche.

END SCENE

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More Whatnot Contest: Why the Crap Aren’t You Watching ‘Community’?

July 28, 2011

As some of you may know, I appeared on Rob Cesternino’s “Rob Has a Podcast” er…podcast a few months ago to talk about CBS’s hit reality show “Survivor” and NBC’s cult favorite comedy “Community.”

Quick Question: Can you appear on a podcast if it’s only audio?

Odds are, due to Rob’s status as a “Survivor” favorite, that the majority of people listening to the podcast were there to hear about “Survivor.” At one point, Rob caught me off guard and asked me to give my best pitch as to why people should watch “Community.”

And I choked. I don’t remember what I said, but it was beyond stupid.

(more…)

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Left/Right Review for ‘Cowboys and Aliens’

July 28, 2011

The popular theory is that the right side of the brain controls emotions, while the left side controls more analytical thinking. So the left side of my brain enjoys an intelligent story with creative execution, and the right side of my brain likes lightsabers, People’s Elbows, and explosions. An example of this is the right side of my brain loves “Armageddon” and the left side of my brain hates it. Understand? No? Picture the right side of my brain with a beer and the left with a martini, oh, or how about my right side is a ten year old, and the left is Roger Ebert.

Plot: A man (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the Old West. He doesn’t know who he is or how he got there. He also doesn’t know why he’s wearing a strange, mechanical bracelet. Then…you know…aliens attack.

(more…)

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Hulk Hogan on C.M. Punk, ‘Saints Row,’ and His Reconciliation with Randy Savage

July 27, 2011

He smashed attendance records and opponents in the world of professional wrestling. He body slammed the box office (and Sylvester Stallone) as he rampaged his way through Hollywood. Now he has set his sights on the video game industry.

He’s the “Immortal” Hulk Hogan.

I had a chance to go toe-to-toe with “The Hulkster” at the 2011 San Diego Comic Con. While there we talked about overcoming the depression caused by his divorce and his son’s accident, C.M. Punk’s sudden rise in the WWE, and his video game alter-ego, Angel de la Muerte.

Gordon Holmes: How are you enjoying Comic Con?

Hulk Hogan: It’s cool. The energy is over the top. Anyone that’s into animation and these kinds of vicarious characterizations, they have this crazy imagination that runs wild. So to go in there and to get that energy and to be around them was really cool. I’ve been here a few times and realize how grateful I am that they still care about Hulk Hogan. A huge shot in the arm. The problem is 95% of the fans are men. The other 5% are good-looking women who don’t bring food.

Holmes: For all the ladies reading this, I understand that Hulk Hogan is a big fan of dark chocolate.

Hogan: You’d like to kill me? Then bring as much chocolate as you can, because I will eat every bit of it.

Watch Full Episodes of ‘Impact Wrestling’

Holmes: I’ve gotta admit, I’m still not used to you having tattoos.

Hogan: (Reading his tattoos) “I am that I am.” That’s the first time God talked to Moses. God said, “I am that I am.” (Pointing around the room) “I am that, I am that.” It just means that God is everywhere. I’m on this whole religious, crazy, spiritual, scientific trip that just changed my life.

Holmes: I read your book (“Hulk Hogan: My Life Outside the Ring”). It was particularly tough reading about the dark place you ended up emotionally after your divorce and your son’s accident. But seeing all those fans, you’ve gotta know that people care about you.

Hogan: People are good, man.

Holmes: I’m glad you made it through that.

Hogan: Thank you, brother. No, it’s cool. It all happened for a reason. The divorce, the wreck my son was in. My ego was always present, I thought it was the worst thing that’d ever happened. But as soon as my ego became dormant, and I had this God space that I function in that I call “The Sweet Spot,” I realized everything happened for a reason. That’s my Bible thumping for the day, brother!

Holmes: You’re doing a video game, “Saints Row the Third.” I’ve seen a video of it and it looks insane. You play Angel de la Muerte. What can you tell me about him?

Hogan: It’s pretty crazy because they’ve taken the best of the wrestling community and plugged it into some superhero character. We’ve got the standard good guy/bad guy story; his partner Killbane turned on him.

Holmes: Was it tough making the transition to a video game voice actor?

Hogan: When I got into the vocal booth I had a bunch of help from the people who created the game. And once I found that sweet spot where Angel should be, I think I beat it up pretty good. But I laugh because now these guys are going to have to keep using me. But the character is great, and there seems to be a ton of interest. He has the knee brace on the same knee that I hurt originally. These guys are the best of the best at what they do. I think they’re on to something.

Holmes: Your character Angel de la Muerta was turned on by his partner Killbane. That seems like Wrestling Feud 101.

Hogan: The conflict is pretty easy. It’s the storyline driven stuff that makes wrestling work. Some of the new writers and new breed of wrestlers try to make more out of it than what it is. They’ll elaborate on the storylines, but the people don’t remember that. All they remember is the good guys go like this (holds his fists up) and the bad guys go like that (cowers in fear). Good guys go forward, bad guys go backward.

Holmes: I know you have a history of partners turning on you with Paul Orndorff, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, “Macho Man” Randy Savage…

Hogan: I think the ultimate act of betrayal is when a friend or a partner turns on you. Even more so in real life, because I have had someone, who was a good friend, turn on me. Macho Man did. And thank God, right before he passed away we started talking again.

Holmes: How did that reconciliation take place?

Hogan: It was really cool because I was going on my seventh back surgery and I couldn’t pass an EKG because my body was so stressed out from all the anesthesia. The doctor was trying to see what I could do to get this back surgery, I was sitting there with my new wife Jennifer and all the sudden the door bangs open and we hear, (imitating the “Macho Man”) “Hey, what’s up, brother? Oh yeah!” And I thought, “Oh my God, it’s Randy.” And my wife Jennifer didn’t know who he was. But, just the fact that we got back together after all of that conflict and him turning on me…and he turned on me on a personal level. He thought I was responsible for his divorce and his business deals and stuff. He confided in me that he felt bad for all the things I went through with my problems. And he said, “I feel so bad that I was such a jackass.” And he was really cool and we talked.

Holmes: So there’s hope for Angel and Killbane to patch things up?

Hogan: I can’t wait for the day where he begs for forgiveness and repents. This is the artform of life, brother, and it works. And that’s why this game is going to work. And that’s why it’s always worked; good vs. evil.

Holmes: Does Angel de la Muerte bust out any of your classic moves?

Hogan: He uses everything, brother. They have the technology to make him drop legs, suplex Killbane off of the top of the cage like I did to the Big Bossman back in the day. He can do whatever he wants in there, brother, because he doesn’t have any injuries except for that weak knee.

Holmes: Who wins in a fight; Hulk Hogan or Angel de la Muerte?

Hogan: I’ll put him over (wrestling slang for letting someone win).

Holmes: That’s good for the game. Makes Angel look strong.

Hogan: That means we get to go again, right? It was a fluke, brother!

Holmes: You slipped on a banana peel.

Hogan: (Laughs) I slipped on a banana peel. The sun was in my eyes. I just need to know if you were better than me on that day. You’ve gotta put him over. That’s why I don’t understand the (John) Cena thing. The first one was free; two good guys, him and the Rock. You don’t have to turn him heel yet (wrestling slang for becoming a bad guy).

Holmes: Are you paying attention to what’s going on in the WWE?

Hogan: Yeah, man, they’re saying my name every week.

Holmes: What does it mean to you when you tune in and hear them talking about you?

Hogan: It’s a huge compliment for them to say my name. It’s a huge compliment that they’re open-minded. It makes me realize that I’m Terry Bollea and I’m very humble with how nice people are to me, but there’s really something to this Hulk Hogan character. That’s why I had “Immortal” tattooed on my back. The religious thing is that I’m going to live forever because I’ve accepted Christ as my savior, which is the main reason, along with the fact that the Hulk Hogan character is going to be a part of history. The character is going to be immortal. Just like TNA’s alive again, getting ready for the red and the yellow, it makes me realize that no matter what happens in the WWE Universe, I’m part of that history package. So, it’s really cool when they name drop me.

Holmes: There have been moments that have changed the modern era of the wrestling business. One was when you defeated the Iron Sheik for the WWE (then WWF) title.

Hogan: (Imitating the Iron Sheik) I can’t believe you, jabroni!

Holmes: (Laughs) Watch your language if you’re going to do a Sheik impersonation.

Hogan: (Laughs) I know, brother. I’m not going to mention Brian Blair.

Holmes: (Laughs) Other moments are the formation of the nWo and Steve Austin’s “Austin 3:16” speech. Some are saying C.M. Punk’s interview has this potential. Did you have a chance to catch the episode of “Raw” a few weeks ago where Punk vented about the state of the WWE?

Hogan: Yeah, as soon as Vince deregulated wrestling in the ‘80s and told everybody that it’s entertainment and the finishes are predetermined, he decided that it’s a better move not to insult the people’s intelligence. We’re not out there saying “It’s real, brother!” I mean, it’s not fake because of all of the injuries. So, even though Vince has deemed it entertainment, people still want to believe. And when C.M. Punk did his thing, I think people just want to believe. Even on my Twitter account, people are saying,  “Hey, are you going to hire C.M. Punk? If John Cena gets fired he says he’s coming to your company!” I think it is so cool that people, even if you tell them that it is predetermined, that the art form, when done correctly, people can still get sucked into it. They still want to live vicariously through the wrestlers. It makes me realize that wrestling will always be around.

Holmes: Do you think Punk has what it takes to be the next big thing?

Hogan: It depends. It’s not Punk’s decision, it’s Vince McMahon. When he was on TV the other night and said he could make ten John Cenas, that’s true. When Vince McMahon says he can make another Hulk Hogan, that’s true. Everybody’s replaceable. It’s the power of the TV, it’s not the power of the wrestlers. Now, if you’re given the football, you’ve got to be able to run with it. Cause a lot of guys were given the ball. The Rock ran with it a certain distance. Stone Cold ran with it a certain distance. Hulk Hogan ran with it a certain distance. We all have our run. But it’s really the power of the TV. TV is the star.

“Impact Wrestling” airs Thursday nights at 9 p.m. ET on Spike TV.

“Saints Row the Third” will be released for the PC, Xbox 360, and PS3 on November 15, 2011.

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More Whatnot Reader Poll

July 20, 2011

OK, I need you to look at the picture below and tell me whether it’s a bust of Ludvig Van Beethoven or Kurt Russell.

Russell or Beethoven?

I anxiously await your responses.

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My Reoccurring ‘Survivor’ Dream

July 18, 2011

Survivor Press vs ProbstHad the “Survivor” dream again over the weekend. Here’s how it always goes…

I’m participating in an All-Star season of “Survivor.” The location changes; it’s been Gabon, it’s been Australia, it’s been Nicaragua. (EDIT: Once it was in King Koopa’s castle from ‘Mario Kart.’) The cast members change; Colby Donaldson, Jessica “Sugar” Kiper, Tamara “Taj” George, and others have made appearances.

Here’s what always stays the same…

(more…)

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How I’d Book Money In the Bank

July 17, 2011

How I Think Money In the Bank Will End
The popular theory has Punk winning the world title, but dropping the belt to a Money In the Bank Winner (probably Alberto Del Rio). This sounds about right. As Chicago is booing the crap out of the ending, they’ll be able to pretend it’s because people are upset that the hated Del Rio is the champion, while they’ll be booing because Punk won’t be leaving with the title. Also, this allows them to avoid the “Fire Cena” stipulation.

Now let’s take a look at how I’d do it…

(more…)

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