No visit to the set of “Survivor” would be complete without getting down and dirty in one of their trademark immunity challenges. It’s a great opportunity to step into the contestants’ buffs and see what the show is really about.
Now usually the press squares off against a group of athletic young adults known as “The Dream Team.” The Dream Team has many jobs on location, but mainly they’re there to test the challenges to make sure everything is fair, relatively safe, and interesting. However, since there were more press members than there were open slots on the press team this year, we decided to split the press up into two teams with the new press on one side and the classic press (we don’t like the term “old”) on the other. To fill out the ranks, there’d be two Dream Teamers on our side and four Dream Teamers on the new press’s side.
Note: When you visit “Survivor,” it helps to get into a “Survivor” mindset. That includes gaming the system to work in your favor. Splitting the teams into classic press vs. new press was the classic press’s idea. We arranged it that way because we thought we were more athletically inclined than the new press.
Another Note: You can’t trust the classic press as far as you can throw them.
On the way to the event it occurred to me that I’ve had a different thought process each time I’ve run a challenge…
In Gabon I was a fresh-faced newbie who was hoping not to embarrass himself. In fact, the mystique surrounding the Dream Team was so well played up by the crew that I was fully expecting to get my Kota kicked. And I did. They blew us out of the leech-infested water.
In Nicaragua I’d had a few years to think about the shellacking I‘d received at the hands of the Dream Team and was willing to do anything necessary to at least be competitive. Did this new frame of mind make a difference? I don’t know, but the mighty Dream Team fell at the hands of the out-of-shape journalists that day.
And now having tasted previous victory I wasn’t going to be happy just being competitive. Anything less than a win was going to ruin my day.
So, I went into this season’s exhibition with a couple of questions I wanted answers to…
Does Experience Really Matter? Running a “Survivor” immunity challenge isn’t like doing your local Warrior Dash (not that Warrior Dashes aren’t awesome). During an immunity challenge the scenery is epic, dozens of camera men are chasing you around, and Jeff Probst is dying (ahem…DYING) to point out your every little mistake.
Does Having a Win Under Your Belt Matter? One of the big moments last season was when Zapatera threw a challenge in order to vote off Russell Hantz. Jeff Probst often mentioned this as the turning point that helped “Boston” Rob’s Ometepe tribe eventually wipe them out.
Now on to the challenge…
The Zig-Zag
Both teams run through a series of beams. The beams intersect at two points. At those points, the teams must crawl under the beams. Since both sets of beams overlap, there’s bound to be some pushing and shoving between the teams.
Before the challenge, we were tipped off that one of the opposing Dream Teamers had come up with a strategy where he’d hold back one of the opposing tribe’s weaker players. This strategy didn’t make sense to us, as neither team would be able to advance until all of their players had made it through the obstacle. We decided that if he did try to implement this strategy, one of our people should hold him there and then it’d eventually become a one-on-one race.
Sure enough, that exact scenario took place. However, instead of letting the two people fight it out, everyone else dove back into the fray. And believe me, it got ugly. At one point as I was being held down by countless arms and legs a female shoe bounced in front of me. I grabbed it, looked around and realized it belonged to an opposing team member, and promptly chucked it out of the course. (What did I tell you about trusting classic press members?)
Eventually we all managed to wiggle out of the zig-zag course. As we’d predicted, both teams were dead even.
It wasn’t until after the challenge that we realized what a toll those little wrestling matches had taken on us. I ended up with scratches and bruises up and down both arms and legs. My right knee was busted open and I had a lump the size of a strawberry over my right eye. And I didn’t even get the worst of it, one of the Dream Teamers ended up with blood gushing from his nose. The last time an exhibition bout got this out of hand Apollo Creed died.
The Coconut Curtain
The coconut curtain is basically a huge cube that is full of strands of team-colored coconuts. To advance, the team must work their way through the curtain without getting tangled.
A Dream Teamer had advised us to cover our…you know…as we passed through this obstacle. Apparently they were at just the right height to cause some damage. I came up with the brilliant strategy of crawling. I’d be able to avoid the majority of the strands and protect my…stuff. This proved to be a mistake as it slowed my team down. Not only that, but my team left a second before I reached the mat and Probst called them all back.
Great, now if we lose the target’s on my back. I love my alliance, but I don’t trust them enough to think they wouldn’t vote me out over something like that.
The Wall
Not much to describe here. It’s just a wall.
Here’s where our experience really kicked in. Before the challenge started we’d decided the order people should go up and over the wall. Our biggest guy would go first. Our second biggest guy (yours truly) would go second. That way we had a strong base to pull people up. Third would be the person who would do the next leg of the challenge so he could rest. And the last person would be our most fit guy. He wouldn’t need a boost, he’d be able to jump high enough so that we could get a hold of him.
Our plan worked to perfection, but our opponents still had a slight lead.
The Machete
The next leg of the course consisted of a lone player from each team digging in a pit for a machete. Once they had the machete, they’d have to hack through a series of five ropes. Once all five ropes were cut, a mechanism would release hundreds of coconuts.
Experience came into play in this leg as well. There was a good bit of digging in the Gabon challenge, and the press member who was the best there was Entertainment Weekly’s Dalton Ross. Beforehand we went over the techniques that had worked well there. Half the battle in a digging challenge is making sure you’re not pushing sand back into the hole with your legs.
While Ross was hard at work, the team members who’d be performing the final leg didn’t cheer him on. We sat back and conserved our energy.
Ross performed like a champ, and earned us our first lead of the challenge.
Coconut Basketball
For the final leg, three players from each team needed to shoot coconuts into a basket. Once the basket was filled with enough coconuts to lift its counterweight a flag would raise and announce the victor.
Fun Fact: I suck at basketball. As in arguably the worst basketball player in the history of forever.
So, why did I agree to be my team’s third member? Because when we strategized beforehand, they’d convinced me that having a lefty on the left-hand side would open up the course for everyone else to be as close to the basket as possible.
Maybe that doesn’t make a ton of sense now, but it sounded good then.
And truth be told, I didn’t do too bad. Well, except for when I almost killed Jeff Probst.
In my defense, the coconuts had varying weights, and throwing them wasn’t the easiest thing to do. So, if one of the ones I threw happened to go way off course and head directly toward America’s favorite reality show host I can hardly be blamed. Fortunately, J-Pro has the reflexes of a jungle cat and was able to get out of the way. Disaster averted.
Near coconut-assisted homicide aside, the lead Dalton had built for us was significant and my teammates and I had no problem filling the basket and bringing home a win for our team.
So what did I learn?
Does Experience Matter? Totally. I don’t think I heard Probst’s commentary the entire time. The cameras didn’t register either. Also without our previous experience, I doubt we’d have thought to take breaks during the course. Maybe things like this will serve Ozzy and Coach well.
Does Having a Win Matter? Probably. It definitely helped cut down on pre-game nerves. I doubt it was the main reason Ometepe steamrolled Zapatera, but it didn’t hurt.
How Does It Feel to Be Over .500 Lifetime in Challenges? Awesome.
Should You Throw a Coconut at a Beloved Three-Time Emmy Winner? No.
“Survivor: South Pacific” premieres Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.
More “Survivor” Fun: XFINITY TV sent Gordon Holmes into the heart of the South Pacific to get a first-hand look at the filming of the latest edition of “Survivor.” Be sure to check back for exclusive interviews with the returning All-Stars and host Jeff Probst, behind-the-scenes photos, and more.
Any Questions about “Survivor: South Pacific”? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
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