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‘Survivor H.V.V.’ Finale Recap: Russell Vs. The World…Again

May 16, 2010

Last Thursday: Jerri upset Russell by not taking him on the reward outing, Sandra upset Russell by telling him she was against him, and yet Rupert was sent to the jury, thus upsetting Rupert’s legions of fans.

And then there were five…

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Yin Yang Tribe

Colby Donaldson – 35
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27

Quick Note: I’m a big believer that Russell should have won “Survivor: Samoa.” He was more deserving than both of the people (Natalie White and Mick Trimming) who were sitting in front of the jury with him. I can’t say the same for this season. He’s been more abrasive than ever and Sandra and Parvati have both played games that were as strategic as his.

Another Quick Note: The worst thing about holding the “Survivor” finale on Sunday? I have to sit through Andy Rooney at the end of “60 Minutes.”

Yet Another Quick Note: The opening for the finale featured an awesome recap of the final five’s previous “Survivor” experiences. It was awesome seeing all of those old clips. And it was a little sad see Australia Colby vs. this season’s Colby.

OK, let’s do this. We start up after tribal council and Russell is not pleased that Sandra lied to them about having an immunity idol in her bra. Sandra defends her play because Russell never told her when he had an idol. Ah…touché.

Russell isn’t so upset that Sandra lied to him, but he’s convinced that Parvati knew about it and didn’t tell him. He approaches the Australian crew and proposes voting out Parvati. Uh oh, trouble in the Samoan royal family…

The following morning the tribe is greeted by tree mail in the form of a bag of puzzle pieces. The clue makes it sound like a dish-related challenge. Maybe it’ll be dish spinning like on the “Ed Sullivan Show!” Hey, an old-school Nick at Nite fan can dream.

Immunity Challenge: Players will balance ceramic dishes on a balancing arm. (Darn it!) The more dishes they have, the harder it is to balance. When your dishes fall, you’re eliminated. Last player standing (or balancing, as it were) wins immunity.

The first several rounds go off without a hitch. Once we are nine dishes into it, Jerri and Sandra start to wobble. Sure enough, Sandra’s dishes fall eliminating her from the challenge. At the fourteen-dish point, Jerri continues to have problems with her entire stack eventually falling.

Down to three. On the sixteenth dish, Russell’s stack of dishes succumbs to the pull of gravity. The “Survivor” production crew then utilizes their power over nature to summon a huge gust of wind, but Colby and Parvati manage to keep it together.

After adding a large bowl, Colby’s stack falls. Everything’s bigger in Texas, except for the stacks of dishware. Parvati wins her second immunity challenge in a row.

Back at camp, Colby rolls over again, telling everyone that he’s not going to make an attempt to stay in the game.

Really, Colby? Did you just give something you called a “Surrender Speech?” All of that razor endorsement money must be making him soft.

Oh wait, I take that back, apparently he has one more move left in him. Colby approaches Russell with the idea of getting rid of Sandra so they’ll have a better shot of taking Parvati out at the last immunity challenge.

Russell seems interested, but he knows that if Colby gets to the final three that he’ll win. Honestly, Russell could get to the end with Andy Rooney and he’d still lose.

That night at tribal council, Rupert shows up in a new tie-dye shirt. I’d love to see his closet. I’m sure it’s more tie-dye than a Grateful Dead concert.

During the discussion portion of tribal, Colby feels bad about his lack of challenge prowess this season. Colby admits to trying to get Russell to take him over Sandra. He admits to Sandra that he thinks everyone wants to get to the end with her.

Sandra says, “This is ‘Survivor’ you can’t believe nobody.” Which is a double negative. She is crafty.

Parvati says it’s news to her that she’s someone nobody wants to face in the finals.

J-Pro asks Russell if there’s anyone that he trusts 100%. Russell gives a roundabout answer that doesn’t come close to answering Jeff’s question at all.

Voting Time: Parvati votes for Colby, Colby votes for Sandra, Sandra votes for Colby, and you know the other two votes are gonna have to wait.

J-Pro gets his tally on and is ready to read; one vote for Colby, one vote for Sandra, one vote for Colby, and the sixteenth person voted out and the eighth member of the jury is…Colby.

Once we’re back on the beach, Parvati confesses that she didn’t know that she was such a big jury threat. Really? That’s just hitting her? She’s won a billion immunity challenges. And she’s not Russell.

Tree mail arrives the next morning, and sure enough it’s an invitation to the Rites of Passage. Oh! They should call it the Torch Trek.

During the leisurely, respectful stroll, nobody has anything to say about Sugar. Well, they weren’t on the same beach as her.

Stephenie is the first person to be referred to as a “Tough competitor.” I’m putting the over/under on the word “competitor” during this segment at four.

Randy being decimated by James in the mud wrestling challenge is shown in slow motion. I don’t think I can do justice to that moment with words, but I’ll try…let’s say it was five-star awesome dipped in Christmas morning.

They say Cirie is underestimated as a physical competitor. The “competitor” count is now at two.

They all agree that Tom was very trustworthy.

Tyson is of course remembered for his sense of humor. And if you’re not following him on Twitter, you should be.

James is called a competitor by Jerri. That’s three.

During Boston Rob’s remembrance, Russell takes the time to brag about getting the best of him. Sandra takes the time to tell America about a borderline racist comment Boston Rob made about her.

Coach is referred to as “Jerri’s boyfriend.” I need to remember to ask her about that tomorrow.

Courtney’s moment is particularly poignant due to the fact that her physique resembles that of a bamboo torch.

As they walk by JT’s torch, they discuss JT’s give-the-idol-to-the-most-evil-player-in-the-game strategy.

Parvati makes a point of mentioning that “Heroes Vs. Villains” was the first time Amanda had ever been voted out of the game. I prefer to remember Amanda for her brief brawl with Danielle.

Candice’s legacy apparently revolves around stepping out of a challenge to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Russell doesn’t think that’s worth a million dollars.

Parvati refers to Danielle as the Boston Brawler. Parvati’s very sad she’s gone. Russell is not.

Rupert’s moment revolves around his pirate-like ways. They also hope his toe heals quickly. (Actually, it was two broken toes.)

And finally, Russell refers to Colby as a true hero as they pass his torch. Yes, I’m reminded of that issue of Superman, where Superman gave his “Surrender Speech” to the Legion of Doom.

And with that, they arrive at an awesome (read AWESOME) Tiki bon fire set-up. Jerri sets it ablaze, and now all of their souls are at peace. Or something like that.

Quick Note: Before we get to this immunity challenge, my fingers are crossed for a stand-somewhere-until-everyone-quits challenge. You know, like the old-school ones that would go on for 14 hours. I love those.

Immunity Challenge 2: Electric Boogaloo: And…I’m out of luck. The players will each be blindfolded. They’ll make their way through a maze. At each corner of the maze they’ll have to retrieve a necklace. The first person with all four necklaces wins immunity.

And, if my memory is correct (and it rarely is) this is the same challenge that Fancast columnist Jenna Morasca won in the Amazon.

Russell gets off to a lead as the first person to get to two necklaces. Jerri manages to pass him though as she’s the first person to get three necklaces. Parvati is right behind her. Eventually, Russell and Parvati both get their fourth necklaces. They both stumble toward the exit. Meanwhile, Jerri has claimed her fourth necklace.

All three of them are groping around with the immunity necklace right in front of them. Russell just barely gets to it first. Russell wins immunity. Awesome finish.

Politicking around camp center around Jerri vs. Parvati. Russell tells Sandra he’s taking her to the final three because he knows he can beat her. Sandra says she’s cool with this because she’s happy with the $100,000. I love when those two are honest with each other.

Parvati makes the case that Courtney, Amanda, and Candice will all vote for Sandra.

Russell also seems to believe that Jerri will give him her vote if he sends her to the jury. He’s not sure if Parvati will do the same.

That night at tribal council, Jerri admits that she stuck around camp to stay on top of all of the political discussions.

Sandra discusses her strategy of cozying up to the immunity winner because she knows they’re not going home.

Parvati tells J-Pro that she feels very vulnerable without immunity.

Jerri tells us that she’s been pushing the agenda that Parvati is a huge threat. Parvati says she’s been pushing the agenda that he’ll have to take Parvati to prove that he’s loyal to the jury.

Parvati also thinks she’s been protecting Russell. Russell takes exception to this. She revises her statement to say they’ve been protecting each other. He takes exception to that too.

Voting Time: Parvati votes for Jerri, Jerri votes for Parvati, and the other votes are lost to the magic of editing.

Jeff goes to tally the votes.

Fun Fact: When Jeff says he’s tallying the votes, he’s actually getting in a quick game of Farmville. I may have made that up.

One vote for Parvati, one vote for Jerri, one vote for Jerri, and the seventeen person voted out of the game, and the ninth member of the jury is…Jerri.

As Jerri hugs Russell, she tells him she can’t wait to hear the story later. And during her farewell confessional, she admits that she’s leaning toward voting for Russell.

We meet up with the final three after tribal, and Sandra is having a tough time being away from her family. She admits that the only reason she’s on the show is to win the million. She won’t be satisfied with anything less.

The following morning, tree mail consists of all the food in the world.

Russell thinks he’s got the million in the bag. His strategy was to bring people that he thought he could beat. I’m not sure those people exist. Maybe if they cast Osama bin Laden.

Parvati admits that if Russell had voted her out that she would have voted for Sandra. Russell is shocked by this because he would have voted for Parvati if he were on the jury.

Sandra, for some reason, decides to burn Russell’s hat. Somewhere Samoa’s Jaison is giddy. Revenge of the socks!

Apparently Sandra’s strategy revolves around Russell’s bald head making him look bad in front of the jurors. Well, it’s certainly a unique strategy. Unfortunately for her, he still has his buff.

Wow, they’re showing a lot of Sandra. I wonder if that’s a clue…

Quick Note: Is the tribal council set supposed to be like the Ewok Village?

During Sandra’s opening statement, she admits to trying to get rid of Russell three times.

Russell makes the case that he played as hard as he could play. And that if he offended anyone, that he apologizes. For some reason his “Rupert as the second coming” speech just popped into my head.

Parvati claims to have partnered with Russell because everyone was gunning for her from the beginning.

J-Pro then throws it to the jury. Colby starts it off, asking Russell if he thinks he got to the end without any luck. Russell thinks he got there because of his strategy. Colby thinks he’s delusional for thinking he got to the end without luck. He then asks Parvati what makes her a better pick than the other two. Parvati says that everyone was gunning for her and she had to fight harder.

Coach goes next, he has a grand time bashing everyone. However, he gives Parvati credit for being good in challenges. He lets it be known that his vote will be based on what is said tonight.

Amanda takes the third slot, she asks Sandra how her strategy was better than Russell or Parvati’s. She admits that she wishes she had a better strategy because she couldn’t get Russell out of the game.

Courtney bats clean-up, and she has much love for Parvati and Sandra. She even gives Sandra the opportunity to talk about how loyal she was to Courtney.

Next up we hear from JT. JT wants to know if Russell thinks he did a good job getting jury votes. Russell hopes the jury respects his game. Parvati gets the same question and gives the same answer about how everyone was gunning for her. Sandra claims she would have given JT the idol back if he had given it to her.

Danielle is the next to go, and she’s sporting some weird accent to start. OK. Danielle claims that Russell has done a poor job with his jury management. Russell doesn’t regret that because if he didn’t make the moves he made he wouldn’t have made it to the end. She claims that he isn’t going to get any votes because nobody respects the way he played the game.

Next up we hear from Jerri. She claims to be undecided on who to vote for. Jerri calls Russell out on voting for her over Parvati. Russell claims that he didn’t take Jerri because he doesn’t think he can beat her. Parvati claims Russell wanted her on the jury because he thought he’d get her vote. Nice to see the cougar and the kitten getting along.

Candice takes the stage next. She thinks Russell went too far by telling “Dirty lies.” She compares Parvati to an abused wife who never got out from under her abusive husband. Ouch.

Rupert (and yet another tie-dye shirt!) gets to go last. He starts with Russell and reads him the riot act for lying and manipulating people. Rupert wishes he had listened to Sandra more. He thinks she deserves a “Thank you” because she tried to warn them about Russell. He starts on Parvati, but she claims that she didn’t have a choice but to side with Russell because everybody wanted her out. Rupert finishes by saying that Parvati deserves to be there for how hard she played in challenges.

My Take: That did not go well for Russell. Parvati did a decent job, but she didn’t have much to say other than, “I’ve always had a target on my back.” Meanwhile, Sandra’s “I tried to warn you about Russell” argument is very strong.

Voting Time: Jerri votes for Parvati, Candice votes for Sandra, Danielle votes for Parvati, Courtney votes for Sandra, Coach votes for Parvati (because she’s a warrior), Rupert votes for Sandra, and the rest of the votes are gonna have to wait till we get to New York.

Wow, I’m assuming that means no votes Russell.

And we’re in New York…and Gabon’s Charlie Herschel is in the house!

And, Russell does not look pleased, but he does have a new hat.

One vote for Parvati, one vote for Sandra, one vote for Parvati, one vote for Sandra, one vote for Parvati, one vote for Sandra, two votes for Sandra, and the winner of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” and the first ever two-time winner is…Sandra!

Verdict: I think “Survivor” has been on a major roll since “Survivor: Micronesia” and this season is no exception. I won’t go so far as to call it the best ever, but it’s definitely up there. It probably comes down to how you feel about All-Star seasons, and as I said earlier in the year, I’m all for them.

Notes from the Reunion Special:

•    Parvati and Sandra both made their cases for being the best player ever. Sandra’s case was way stronger.
•    Russell thinks Sandra is a terrible player as she has no social or physical game. He also makes the point that there must be a flaw in the game of “Survivor” if Sandra can win the game twice.
•    JT tried to throw the letter he gave to Russell into the fire, but Russell was able to save it.
•    Russell admits to not caring about the social game at all, he just wants to get to the end.
•    Tyson looks like Jesus. Well, if Jesus ever wore bright pink shirts.
•    The Dumbest Move in “Survivor” History Award went to JT for giving the idol to Russell. I absolutely disagree with that call. Erik Reichenbach giving up immunity, Colby taking Tina Wesson to the final, and Tyson screwing up the Boston Rob alliance vote were all way worse.
•    Rupert and Russell were the top vote-getters for the Sprint Player of the Season award…and Russell won.
•    Randy Bailey is now bald.
•    The next season of “Survivor” will be held in Nicaragua.

More “Survivor” Business: We’re going to have interviews with all of the final five this week as well as Jeff Probst’s surprising thoughts on the best “Survivor” players of all time.

What Do You Think? Where does this season rank? Should Sandra have won? What changes would you like to see for “Survivor: Nicaragua?”

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‘Survivor H.V.V.’ Episode 13 Recap: Family Matters

May 13, 2010

Last Week: The rock in Rupert’s shorts was a successful ruse, Sandra finding an idol was welcome news, Russell proved once again that he has a short fuse, and both Candice and Danielle were left singing the blues.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Yin Yang Tribe

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27

Quick Aside: I’ve always been of the belief that no jury would ever let someone win “Survivor” twice. It’d be like admitting that someone was better than all of them. And here we are, with a two-in-six chance (three-in-six if you count Rupert…which I don’t) of that happening.

We start off after tribal council and Rupert is giddy to still be alive and kicking. Parvati, on the other hand, is very concerned. She lets us know that she’ll continue to play with Russell so she can get rid of Colby, Rupert, and Rupert’s beard.

The next morning, the Yin Yangers are greeted by tree mail in the form of a Palm Pre by Sprint.

Sprint – the Now Network

The phone features a cryptic clue as well as videos from each of the remaining players’ family members. Colby’s brother Reed, Parvati’s dad Michael, Sandra’s uncle Fernando, Russell’s wife Melanie, Jerri’s sister Jennifer, and Rupert’s wife Laura are all featured in the videos.

Reward Challenge: Before the challenge is introduced, we get to meet the family members behind the videos. I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that it got a little dusty in the Holmes family living room during this segment.

With that being said, I’d have to rank Russell’s reunion with his wife a solid eight on the creep-o-meter. It’s just weird to think of him as a functional member of society with a wife and family. I now have both the heebies and the jeebies.

The Rules: The Survivors will have to go to the ocean to fetch a pail of water. They’ll throw that water toward their family member who will dump the water they’re able to catch into another bucket. First team to fill that bucket with enough water to trigger the cool see-saw wins reward. Reward will be a trip to the Blowholes, which if I’m not mistaken is where the “Survivor: Samoa” opening was filmed. They’ll also be given a Palm Pre by Sprint to record the day’s events.

I haven’t commented on J-Pro’s hats this season, but that orange number is awesome. I have a birthday in August if anyone is contemplating getting me a gift.

The challenge gets underway and there’s not a lot to describe except for water being tossed and caught.

I take that back, I’ll describe how Colby was angrily chewing out his brother for his lack of water-catching ability. I’ll also describe how Fernando was trying to swipe the water Russell was throwing to his wife…which was awesome.

It looked like the Hantzs were going to take it, but the Mantheys surpassed them to win the reward.

Jerri is given the opportunity to take two people with her, she chooses Parvati and Sandra. Russell is not amused. As he hugs his wife goodbye he says, “She screwed up.”

While the ladies and their family members are enjoying their reward, they learn that they can toss a coconut into the blowhole and it’ll launch into the air with the water burst. No word on if a drunken Iron Man would try to shoot it out of the sky afterward.

Next up, they were treated to a delicious picnic lunch. They were also each given four immunity idols. I may have made up that last part.

Afterward, Jerri expresses concern that Russell may try to get revenge on her for not taking him on the reward. Overreacting to something small? That doesn’t sound like Russell at all.

Sure enough, back at camp Russell is furious over who Jerri chose to take on the reward. Rupert, showing that he’s a much better competitor than I’d given him credit for, is totally feeding Russell’s anger. Go Rupert.

Russell is so frustrated that he makes a deal to go to the final three with Rupert and Colby. I don’t buy this for a second. There’s no way Russell thinks he could beat Colby or Rupert in front of a jury.

That night, Rupert decides to do some carpentry while the other members of the tribe are trying to sleep. He’s sawing wood, breaking things, blowing an airhorn, setting off explosives, scratching blackboards. Seriously, Rupert? That’s like an entry-level “Survivor” mistake.  That’s sneaking-beef-jerky or washing-your-underwear-in-the-water-pot level stupid.

Immunity Challenge: Players will stand against a post with their hands out. On the back of their hands will be a pole. If their hand drops, their poles drop. Last person with both of their poles up wins immunity.

Fun Fact: Crystal Cox was eliminated from this challenge in one second in Gabon.

Another Fun Fact: Colby is eliminated from the challenge in 15 seconds. Crystal’s record is safe!

Sandra is out next, followed by Russell and Jerri. It’s down to Parvati and Rupert.

Rupert struggles to keep his pole standing (Oh, grow up!) and is eventually eliminated. Parvati wins immunity.

Back at camp, Russell is relieved that he doesn’t have to get rid of Parvati. He decides to flip on the guys.

Meanwhile, Sandra approaches Rupert about getting rid of Russell. Rupert immediately shares this information with Russell.

Russell, who is unhappy with this latest development, flat out asks Sandra if she’s with him or against him. She bluntly replies, “I’m against you.”

I think the most under-appreciated highlight of this season has been when Russell and Sandra are brutally honest with each other. Good times.

Sandra lets Rupert know how she feels about him by saying, “Loose lips, sink ships.”

Jerri sums up the bizarre strategy around camp by saying, “This camp has turned into crazy town.”

That night at tribal council, Sandra makes the case that Rupert was trying to cause problems between her and Russell. Russell isn’t sure if he buys that.

Parvati tells Jeff that the Villains need to stick together because they can’t beat a Hero in front of the Hero-heavy jury.

Jeff announces that tonight is the last night a hidden immunity idol can be played.

Voting Time: Sandra votes for Rupert, confident that he’ll vote for her to win the million, Rupert votes for Sandra, and the rest of the votes are secret.

Jeff goes to tally, tallies, then returns. Jeff asks if anyone wants to play the idol, Sandra stands and retrieves it from her bra. That’s a popular hiding place this season.

One vote for Rupert, one vote for Sandra, one vote for Rupert, one vote for Sandra, the fifteenth person voted out and the seventh member of the jury is…Rupert.

The tribe has something to say, and that something is that they don’t want you in the game anymore. Maybe that’s why I don’t get to write catchphrases.

In Other News: When the voting was showed, the final tally would have been four to two in favor of booting Rupert.

Verdict: It seems like there’s a pretty definitive jury-voting pecking order. Colby would win over Jerri, who’d win over Sandra or Parvati, who’d win over Russell.

The one thing that would make the finale mind blowing? If Colby had been faking it all season. If he turned it on in the last two immunity challenges and won the whole thing. I doubt that will happen. But it’d be cool.

Who’s Going to Win? If Jerri can get into the final three she’s a millionaire. If I’m Russell, I want to take Parvati and Sandra because they’re former champions. If I’m Parvati or Sandra, I want to take Russell and the other champion. If I’m Colby, I feel terrible for yelling at my brother on national television.

Power Rankings Results: Tocantins favorite, S.W.V. superstar, and former Power Rankings champion Tamara “Taj” George had Rupert in spot six, so did I. Rocky and Apollo tie at six points apiece. The final score for the season is All Stars 111, Team Gordon 124.

I’d like to thank my family, my friends, and both of my fans for supporting me. This Power Rankings victory is for you.

Even More “Survivor” Business: We’re going to have interviews with all of the final five next week as well as Jeff Probst’s surprising thoughts on the best “Survivor” players of all time.

What Do You Think? Who’s going to win this thing? Who are your picks for the best “Survivor” players of all time? Did seeing Russell with his wife give you the creeps?

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‘Survivor H.V.V.’ Episode 11 Recap: Girl Fight!

April 29, 2010

Last Week: Russell the King tried to convince the Heroes that he was on their side, Parvati the Queen shocked everyone by playing two immunity idols at the same time, while JT didn’t get Jack.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Yin Yang Tribe (wearing black)

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
Candice Woodcock – 27
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27

Before we get started, I was told that “Survivor” is the number one show in Canada. Is this true? If you’re a Canadian reader, say “Hello” in the comments below.

We meet up with the Yin Yang tribe and Russell is not pleased that his “Dumb-a—“ girl alliance might be smarter than he thought.

He asks Sandra if she knew Parvati had a second idol. Sandra tells him she didn’t even know Parvati had the first idol. Russell then confronts Parvati about what happened. She laughs it off and tells him to chill out. Chilling out is not what Russell is known for.

Meanwhile, Amanda and Rupert are trying to figure out a way to break up the Villain alliance. I’d recommend giving them idols. Didn’t that work for JT?

The following morning Candice is speaking with Russell. He tells her that the S.S. Heroes is sinking and one of the Heroes needs to jump. Maybe he’s accepting applications for Parvati 2.0?

Reward Challenge: It’s “Survivor” shuffle board, baby!  There will be three teams of three. Players will slide discs across a board toward an X. The team with the disc closest to the X wins. The winning tribe will receive a trip to Robert Louis Stevenson’s home for a screening of “Treasure Island.”

Too bad Jon Favreau’s home isn’t on Samoa, they could be checking out “Iron Man 2!”

The teams are; Jerri, Parvati, and Candice on the black team, Rupert, Russell, and Sandra on the blue team, and Colby, Amanda, and Danielle on the blue team.

Quick Aside: The shuffle board…board is a map of the world with the “Survivor” logos on it. Very cool.

Not a whole lot to describe here (except for Sandra being terrible at sliding pucks across a board) but Colby does come through, placing the last shot right on top of the X. Blue team wins.

We meet up with the blue team at Robert Louis Stevenson’s house and Amanda is prepared to tear apart this literary legend’s home just to find the next immunity idol clue.

However, she hasn’t been paying attention to this season’s hide-the-clue-in-the-food trend. During the viewing of “Treasure Island” Danielle finds a little buried treasure of her own in the popcorn bowl. However, this time instead of placing the clue in her cleavage, she tosses it under the bed.

Amanda senses something is up and starts searching around Danielle. Meanwhile, CBS executives are disappointed that she wasn’t searching in Danielle’s usual hiding spot.

Amanda eventually finds it and…no lie…a cat fight breaks out. Nevermind what I said earlier, the CBS execs are pleased.

Colby settles the dispute, saying it’s Danielle’s clue because she found it. Hero to the end, that guy.

Amanda is livid that Colby didn’t have her back.

Once Danielle returns to camp the Villains start looking for the idol. Russell finds it quickly, and manages to squirrel it away before the ladies in his alliance notice. There hasn’t been this much dissension between a king and a queen since “Hamlet.”

Who says my recaps are all poop jokes?

Afterward, Russell uses his newfound idol to prove to Candice that he trusts her.

Later on we meet up with Colby and Sandra discussing strategy. Sandra seems fully prepared to flip. The question is, do they go for Parvati or Russell?

Russell puts the kibosh on that plan later, telling Sandra that they have the votes to boot her if she flips on the Villains.

Immunity Challenge: It looks like we’re revisiting Gabon’s tile-stacking challenge. The players will try to build a house of cards using the tiles. The person with the highest structure when time runs out wins immunity.

Again, not much to describe here, just a lot of tile stacking. Although, I will say I giggled like a five year old each time someone’s stack would collapse. Good times.

In the end, it came down to Jerri and Russell with Jerri winning at the last second. Jerri is giddy, letting us know that this is her first-ever individual immunity victory.

Not-So-Quick Aside: I don’t know if it’s possible to have a character arc over the ten-year run of a reality series, but Jerri Manthey has been fascinating to watch. From the over confident pain in a— in “Australia,” to the not-quite-sure-how-to-take-America-hating-her defiance of “All-Stars” to the comfortable-in-her-own-skin cougar (Parvati’s word, not mine) we’re seeing now. She’s becoming one of my favorites.

Back at camp, Russell tells Candice that it’s time for Amanda to go home. Meanwhile, the Heroes and Sandra will be gunning for Russell.

Candice tells Russell that his head is on the chopping block. Russell, in true Russell form, storms out and confronts Sandra about it. Hey, there’s Russell not chilling out again.

The big question seems to be, who’s flipping; Sandra or Candice?

That night at tribal council, Coach shows up wearing a hat that has writing on it. Unfortunately after several pausing attempts, I can’t make out what it says. I have failed you. You can’t vote me out though, I buy my idols wholesale.

During the conversatin’ portion of tribal, Sandra tells Jeff that it’s best to stay with your original alliance.

Russell admits that he wants Sandra around because she’s weak at challenges. He then tells us why the members of his tribe are so valuable. He mentions everyone’s name except for Sandra.

Colby lets us know that he’s absolutely convinced Danielle has the immunity idol. Wasn’t JT absolutely convinced that there was a female alliance?

Voting Time: Russell votes for Amanda, Amanda votes for Parvati, and the rest are all in Probsty’s hands.

Jeff asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Sure enough, Russell stands up and plays the idol for himself. Remember when that was shocking?

Tallying Time: Two votes for Amanda, two votes for Parvati, two votes for Amanda, one vote for Parvati, and the twelfth person voted out and the fourth member of the jury is…Amanda.

Looks like Candice is the latest addition to the royal family.

Afterward, Parvati rolls her eyes as she’s annoyed that Russell wasted an idol.

Verdict: OK, I’m officially joining the “There are too many idols” alliance. It adds strategy to the game, but seems to take away from the social aspect. I’m still loving this season though.

Who’s Going to Win? It’s gotta be Jerri, right? She’s flying under the radar in the game’s most powerful alliance.

Power Rankings Update: Samoa’s Ashley Trainer won one for the All Stars as she had Amanda in spot six while I had her in spot three. The current score is All Stars 91, Team Gordon 111.

What Do You Think? Will Parvati and Russell turn on each other? Are there too many idols in the game? Who should have been allowed to keep the clue; Amanda or Danielle?

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‘Survivor H.V.V.’ Episode 10 Recap: Idols Give Back

April 22, 2010

Last Week: JT gave Russell an idol, Parvati discovered an idol, and Courtney will spend the rest of this season idle.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing noble blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing devilish red)

Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27

We start off on Hero Beach and the Heroic Five are hoping that Russell was able to make it through tribal council. Yeah, I think he’ll be fine.

Tree mail arrives at both camps with the promise of a merge. The Heroes are given a large chest (no, you’re not getting a Danielle joke) while the Villains are given a key.

Russell and his lady alliance decide to tell the Heroes that the reason Parvati is still around is because she played an immunity idol of her own. I don’t think the Heroes are stupid enough to fall for that.

The Villains arrive at the Heroes’ camp, and the Heroes are not happy to see Parvati. JT lets us know that Parvati must’ve played an idol of her own.

In other news, JT just traded the Hereos’ cow for a handful of magic beans.

The chest is opened, and new buffs are revealed (a sharp black/midnight blue combo). After the merge feast, the teams debate a new tribe name. My vote is for “Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters.”

Five “Survivor” points to whoever gets that reference.

Back at the shelter, Russell is telling his fabricated double-idol story to JT and Rupert. Russell swears on his kids that he’s on the Heroes’ side. Meanwhile, a couple of kids in Texas live in constant fear of lightning bolts.

Later, Sandra tells Rupert the truth. It seems like he might actually believe her.

The following morning there’s a bit of a controversy over Parvati and Danielle eating the tribe’s bananas. Uh-oh, breach of banana etiquette! They’re gonna get the James treatment.

Later, while the Heroes are discussing strategy, Rupert finally says the thing I was screaming at my TV last week in regards to Russell, “He’s on the Villains side for a reason.”

Thank you, Rupert!  It took you three seasons, but you’ve finally won me over, big guy.

The Heroes agree to tell Russell that they’re voting for Parvati, and then actually vote for someone else. They figure this will be a good way to prove that Russell is honest.

Later, Parvati and Amanda sneak off together. They decide do a Micronesian alliance reunion tour. Parvati proves her trust in Amanda by admitting that she has her own hidden immunity idol.

That move doesn’t seem smart. If Russell finds out she has a secret idol, there could be trouble.

It’s not all questionable strategy though. When the time for giving up valuable information is over, apparently it’s time for the secret Micronesian handshake.  I approve.

Fun Fact: Pro wrestlers also have a secret handshake.

Immunity Challenge: Before the challenge begins, Jeff asks if they’ve come up with a tribe name. Russell tells him they’re “Yin Yang” because it means good and evil. The yoga expert on the couch next to me assures me it actually means, “Opposites need to work together to strike a balance.”

Close enough.

For this challenge, each contestant will climb up a pole. The last person to fall off of the pole wins immunity.

JT, Candice, and Parvati have all previously competed in this challenge.

Colby and Sandra aren’t doing well early. They both agree to drop off at the same time.

Russell and Rupert are the next to go a few minutes later. Meanwhile, Parvati, Candice, and Danielle seem very comfortable on their poles.

Oh, grow up.

Amanda steps out of the challenge about twenty minutes into it.

JT lasts an impressive forty minutes before finally giving in.

Jerri hits the one hour, thirty-minute mark before finally calling it a day. Candice decides to drop out shortly afterward. But not before J-Pro tries to guilt her into staying.

That was weird.

Parvati and Danielle debate who should win, with both agreeing that Parvati should drop out because she already has the hidden idol. Danielle wins immunity.

Rupert finds it odd that Parvati would give up the immunity challenge so easily. He thinks she might have an idol of her own.

Go Rupert. Two for two.

Back at camp, JT tells us they’re going to let Russell vote for Parvati while they vote for Jerri.

Colby and JT talk, and Colby would rather see Sandra go home.   Aww… Australian Outback represent.

Later in the woods, Russell hands Parvati his immunity idol for the second time this season. Parvati rewards him with a hug.  Seems fair.

Before tribal council, Amanda tells Parvati she had better play her idol just in case. However, Parvati doesn’t buy it.

Quick Aside: Parvati gets a lot of grief for getting by on her looks, but she is uber perceptive.

That night at tribal council, Coach and Courtney make the scene in stylish, matching outfits (as Courtney had promised during out interview last week).

Bananas (or plantains) are a hot topic yet again as Rupert doesn’t like Danielle picking at his food before it has a chance to ripen.

Russell is less interested in food and more interested in playing the game. He tells Jeff that tonight’s vote will dictate the rest of the game.

JT is worried that he might get a few votes, as the Villains haven’t been talking to him.

Fun Fact: Candice has “I Love John” written up both of her arms. I’m going to assume she misspelled “Gordon.”

Parvati tells us that she feels like a leper because nobody will talk to her. Probst lays down some tribal smack, asking her if she’s just not used to that because she gets so much attention in her everyday life.

Zing! Point Probst.

Voting Time: Russell votes for JT, Parvati votes for JT, Jerri votes for JT, Amanda votes for Jerri, Rupert votes for Jerri, Candice votes for Jerri, and the rest are lost to the magic of editing.

Before J-Pro reads the votes, he asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Parvati gives an adorable little speech and then hands one of the idols to Sandra. Then, she hands a second idol to Jerri.

Wa-wow.

The Heroes know their geese are cooked.

J-Pro reads the votes; five votes for Jerri, two votes for JT, and the eleventh person voted out and the third member of the jury is…JT

Russell tells Parvati that she has some explaining to do. He didn’t seem upset about it though.

Verdict: Holy cow. This season is an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I need a nap.

Who’s Going to Win? Who even knows anymore? I don’t think the Villains have it totally made because I don’t trust Sandra. I’m thinking of reverting back to my classic Jerri pick.

Power Rankings Update: Debra Beebe predicted the demise of her Tocantins buddy JT by placing him in the tenth spot. I had him in spot eight. The current score is now All Stars: 85, Team Gordon: 108.

What Do You Think? Will the second idol cause trouble between Parvati and Russell? Will Sandra come back to bite the Villains? Is a secret handshake still a secret after you broadcast it on CBS?

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‘Survivor: H.V.V.’ Episode 9 Recap: The Dumbest Move Ever?

April 15, 2010

Last Week: JT discovered an idol, Sandra disrupted the dominant Villains alliance, and Russell dismissed Coach.

This Week: J-Pro has promised “History in the making.” We shall see.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing noble blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing devilish red)

Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27
Courtney Yates – 28

We start off with the Villains returning to camp after Coach was sent to the showers. Jerri is understandably freaked out because she had no idea that Coach was going home. She confronts Russell about it, he claims that he had an idea it was going to happen but wasn’t sure. Lies.

Russell lets us know that he has an alliance with three women he trusts. The other two women, however, will be the next two to go.

The following morning, tree mail tells the Survivors to rank their players from strongest to weakest. Apparently they’ll be redoing the Tocantins immunity challenge where the players had to stand between two boards.

That particular challenge was very memorable due to Coach’s anguished warrior yell. For those of us who forgot about that moment, Courtney is kind enough to remind us with a dead-on impersonation of it.

Bashing Coach after you just booted him? That’s just mean. How does she fit so much snark into such a tiny frame?

Jerri comes up with the idea to sit Russell because women have smaller feet and the Hero men have big egos.

Over at the Heroes camp, Rupert proves Jerri right by bragging about how he’s the strongest player left in the game.

As the teams arrive at the challenge, JT immediately notes that Coach has been sent home. JT says he’d “Bet his life” that there was a female alliance.

Reward Challenge: The players will be matched up by their pre-challenge rankings. Each player will stand between two walls, holding themselves up on tiny footholds. As time passes, they’ll have to maneuver down to smaller footholds. The person to last the longest from each pairing earns a point for their team. The first team to score three points will win a feast from Outback Steakhouse.

Outback Steakhouse: Live Adventurous, Go Outback.

The pairings are: Danielle and Candice (hey, the people who shouldn’t have been cast), Courtney and Amanda, Parvati and JT, Jerri and Colby (hey, Australia rematch), and Rupert and Sandra (hey, Pearl Islands rematch).

Russell will sit out.

As the challenge starts, Jeff mentions that this is Amanda’s 100th day on “Survivor.” If she’s been out there that long, she has to be a millionaire, right? No?

Wait, is that the history Jeff was talking about?  Lame.

During the challenge, JT turns to Russell and tells him to “Hang in there.”

That’s amazing, he’s not even in their tribe! Those Russell seeds are like dandelions…floating across the air and wreaking havoc.

The Survivors move down to the final footholds after twenty minutes. Colby seems to be struggling, and sure enough he’s the first to drop. The Villains score the first point.

Rupert is the next to go after an unnecessary close-up of sweat dripping off of his beard. Two points for the Villains.

Amanda is the next one having a rough time. She holds on for as long as she can, but eventually drops. Probably not how she wanted to celebrate her 100-day milestone. The Villains win the reward.

Go, Jerri. Good strategy.

We meet up with the Villains after the challenge and they’re at a faux Outback Steakhouse franchise in the middle of nowhere. You still probably have to wait 20 minutes for a table.

During the meal, Parvati finds an immunity idol clue in her napkin. She quickly stashes it in her underwear before anyone sees it.

Owww….too many jokes rushing into my brain! It’s like an ice cream headache.

Parvati and Danielle leave to use the restroom. While they’re away, Parvati shares the clue with Danielle. Apparently Parvati doesn’t think her underwear is a very good hiding place (oww….). So, Danielle decides to hide the clue in her cleavage. (OWWWWWWWWWW!)

Parvati lets us know that she’s not ready to share her well-concealed secret with Russell at this point. Uh oh.

Back at casa de Heroes, JT unveils a daring plan: JT wants to give Russell his immunity idol so he can use it against the female alliance. JT says he’ll bet his life in the game on it.

Later on, we meet up with Parvati and Danielle as they search for the hidden immunity idol. And in true Hantzian fashion they manage to find it.

Meanwhile at the Villains camp, JT is penning a love letter to hand to Russell with the immunity idol. The best part is where he tells Russell how to properly use an immunity idol. That’s like telling me how to make an obvious joke.

There was a lot of talk before tonight’s episode about this being the stupidest move in “Survivor” history. I don’t know if that’s true, but I can’t imagine this turning out well for poor JT.

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Immunity Challenge: Both tribes will start on a floating platform. One at a time, each player will have to move a bag of puzzle pieces (always puzzle pieces) along a rope and through a series of obstacles. Once all of the bags are at the end, they’ll put together a totem pole with the pieces. The first tribe to complete the puzzle wins immunity.

The Villains decide to sit Sandra out.

Survivors are ready…and they go. Jerri and Rupert start off with Rupert building a bit of a lead. JT and Danielle are out next, with Danielle managing to regain some ground. Amanda and Parvati are next with Amanda staying ahead. Courtney and Candice take the course next.

While they’re racing, Colby clues Russell in to JT’s plan. The smile on Russell face isn’t priceless. But it’s probably worth a million bucks.

Eventually Colby and Russell get into the race, but at this point the Heroes’ lead is way too big. They complete their totem pole before Russell can even get half way through the course.

As the Heroes are congratulating each other, JT hands Russell the idol.

We meet up with Parvati and Russell back at the Villains camp and true to form, they’re giggling over JT’s note. It’s a good thing JT is already a millionaire, because I’m assuming he just kicked his TV.

Politicking around camp revolves around deciding between Courtney and Sandra. Not shocking. Parvati wants to keep Courtney around because she thinks Courtney will be more loyal to her than to Russell.

That night at tribal council, Coach arrives in some kind of samurai robe. Sigh…never change, Coach.

Danielle and Sandra have it out a bit. Danielle thinks that Sandra is good at planting false information. She also thinks that Sandra had something to do with Danielle not being welcome in Boston Rob’s alliance.

J-Pro asks Parvati if she’s the boss. She laughs and says, “Of course.”

Russell tells Jeff that his vote is based on who he trusts the most. He says he took an alliance of three through an alliance of six because they trusted each other.

Jerri claims to have never been a part of Boston Rob’s alliance, but Courtney calls her out on it because she’d voted against Russell’s team.

Voting Time: And…no votes are shown.  How rude.

Apparently, once the votes are read the decision is final. One vote for Jerri, three votes for Courtney, and the tenth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” and the second member of the jury is…Courtney.

Quick Aside: Coach sitting in the jury box, cross-legged, with his hands in a prayer position is five-star funny.

Verdict: OK, I don’t think that was the stupidest move in “Survivor” history. It was more of a crazy gamble. With that idol they could have won a 5-on-5 vote. But that could have been risky because the Villains could have had an idol of their own (which they do). The way JT did it, all of that messiness would have been taken care of and Russell could have just joined up with the remaining Heroes.

I mean, how was JT supposed to know he was handing the idol to the devil?

Oh wait, he’s on a tribe called THE VILLAINS!

OK, maybe that was pretty stupid.

Who’s Going to Win? Wow, Parvati’s looking really good right now. And yes, I was referring to the game. Not that she doesn’t look good in general, too.

Power Rankings Update: Eliza Orlins won one for the All-Star squad as she had Courtney in spot ten while I had her in spot nine. The current score is now All Stars: 75, Team Gordon: 100.

What Do You Think? Was JT’s gamble the stupidest move in “Survivor” history? Will Parvati’s immunity idol secret come back to bite her? Was Coach really wearing samurai robes, or did I just wish that?

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