More Whatnot

Last Week: Grant dominated a challenge, proving he’s quite good at games, Phillip made an imaginary alliance and handed out nicknames, and David’s attempt to save Stephanie went down in flames.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing very little in common)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Stephanie – 26, Waitress

We start off over at Zapatera beach after Tribal Council where David is telling Sarita that he doesn’t trust her, but he doesn’t have a problem with her. I’d consider not trusting someone a problem. But, I’m sensitive.

Sarita tries to make peace, but David isn’t having it. What’s with people not knowing when to make nice this season? David’s on the bottom of this alliance, he should be everybody’s buddy. Andrea gets it, why doesn’t he? It’s like David has come down with a case of Stephanie-itis.

Speaking of Stephanie, she’s at Redemption Island telling Matt about the food she can’t wait to eat. He’s ready for the challenge to start, because Stephanie would rather talk about chocolate shakes and snickerdoodles than God.

Invitations go out for Redemption Island, Phillip wants to go with Rob so he can keep an eye on him. Phillip compares his strategy to a book by famous Japanese horseman, Miyamoto Musashi.

For real! Does Phillip’s Coach impersonation know no bounds? Can I pitch Coach vs. Phillip for next season? Can we call it “Survivor: I-Have-No-Idea-What-to-Believe Island”?

Rob has a similar plan. He wants to keep Phillip close so he can keep him out of trouble. He refers to him as the most unaware person he’s ever met in his life.  Wait, Rob and Coach were on the same tribe. Maybe Coach is doing a Phillip impersonation?

In other news, David and Ralph will attend the challenge for Zapatera.

Redemption Island Challenge: The players will flip tiles looking for matching symbols. First person to match five pairs wins.

Matt goes first and finds a match with two random symbols.

Stephanie follows this up by finding a match with two random symbols.

Both go again and have no luck.

Matt gets the next match.

Steph misses with her next turn.

Note: It’s at this point that it occurs to me that I’m basically doing play-by-play for a great big game of Memory. My parents are so proud.

Both of them find matches on their next try.

Matt gets another match.

Steph answers with a match of her own.

The current score is Matt 4, Steph 3.

Matt fails to get his next one…as does Stephanie.

Matt finishes her off, finding a final match.

I know it’s too late to make challenge suggestions, but maybe they could do a big game of Operation using the Jack Black “Gulliver’s Travels” dolls from last season.

Before Stephanie heads off, she tells Ralph that Zapatera will be in trouble if they don’t get rid of Sarita. She then warns Rob that they’re going to be gunning for him. She’s like a little, adorable Russell.

J-Pro asks Phillip what he thinks of Matt. Phillip says that Matt is a samurai warrior and follows the bushido code.

And…I’m officially out of Coach/Phillip jokes. Feel free to make up your own.

When Rob and Phillip are on their way back to camp, Phillip asks Rob if he wants to share all of the information with the tribe. Rob says he wants everyone to be open so they can remain a solid unit. Later, Rob confesses that he’s glad Phillip asked about that so he can use it against him. Rob is convinced that Phillip is ready to flip.

Rob relays this little tidbit to the rest of his tribe while Phillip takes a break to climb a tree. To punctuate Rob’s point, Phillip promptly falls out of the tree.

Phillip’s fun.

Over at Zapatera, the Brady Bunch has decided that David is going to be bad luck after the merge like a Hawaiian tiki idol. I wonder if anyone under 30 gets that joke.

Back at Ometepe, the tribe is fighting over the crispy rice at the bottom of the pot. Apparently this is some kind of “Survivor” delicacy like cherry Starburst jelly beans.

What? They’re totally the best ones.

It seems like Rob is a big fan of the crispy rice and the girls were saving it for him. However, Phillip only had non-crispy rice.

No, I’m not making this up.

As you’d expect, this lack of crispy rice respect sends Phillip over the edge. He feels like all of the tribe members should have equal access to the crispy rice. In fact, as the oldest member of the tribe, he deserves more crispy rice than everyone else.

It never fails, after twenty two seasons, “Survivor” always comes down to food.

Immunity Challenge Time: Both tribes will rush through a series of poorly described obstacles and collect bags of balls along the way. At the end, they’ll shoot those balls into a basket. The first tribe to sink all six balls wins immunity and a super fun picnic.

Both teams are dead even until they have to retrieve their first bag from a large corkscrew. Rob ingeniously tries a tetherball-esque method and gets the bag quickly.

Ometepe maintains this lead until Phillip gets caught climbing through a ropes course. Next to him falling out of the tree, this is the second funniest bit of physical comedy he’s done this episode. Dick Van Dyke would be proud.

At the second large cockscrew obstacle, David uses Rob’s technique to give Zapatera a lead, while Rob accidentally pushes the bag the wrong way.

Things even up once it comes to the hoop shooting. In fact, the score was tied five to five until Grant sank the final shot to give Ometepe the win.

After a commercial break, we meet up with the victors as they enjoy a picnic on the edge of an active volcano. Rob, of course, immediately figures out where the clue is and snatches it up. During a confessional, he explains that he doesn’t need the clue and throws it into the volcano. Wait, what’s he gonna tell Grant?

Early consensus around the Brady Bunch seems to be that it’s David’s turn to go home. However, Ralph and Steve were both impressed with how well David did in the tetherball portion of the challenge, so Sarita could be in trouble.

That night at Tribal Council, Ralph makes an excuse as to why the tribe didn’t win immunity.

J-Pro busts out some Mad Libs for David and asks him to finish the sentence, “Excuses are for ___.”

David promptly responds, “Losers.”

Ralph shrugs it off, saying he must be a loser.

Finally, Ralph and I agree on something.

Again, Probsty brings up the Curse of the Thrown Challenge. Julie seems to buy into it. Does anyone else remember the challenge they won a few weeks ago?

Jeff asks Ralph how important it is for the group to be cohesive. Ralph responds that he doesn’t know what “cohesive” means.

Again, I am not making this stuff up. If you missed the episode you can watch it on XFINITY TV the morning after it airs.

Jeff doesn’t have a dictionary handy, so he changes tactics, asking Ralph if he’d rather have a team of strong players that doesn’t get along, or a team that’s less strong and gets along.

Ralph chooses the stronger team, Steve disagrees.

Voting Time: Sarita votes for David, David votes for Sarita, and the rest of the votes will wait until some serious tallying takes place.

Fortunately, Jeff Probst is just the guy to perform such tallying. One vote for Sarita, two votes for David, two votes for Sarita…and the seventh person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Sarita.

Verdict: I was getting ready to type that all of the eliminations have been predictable, but then David threw us that curveball. I think I underestimated him. Well played, Mauer.

That said, I’m ready for mergeville (which we will see next week, along with the Redemption Island winner returning to the game). With Andrea, Phillip, Matt, Sarita, and David as possible flippers, it should be interesting.

Who’s Going to Win? Still anybody’s ballgame at this point. But I’m still liking Julie as my dark horse.

Power Rankings Update: Both Sash and I had Matt as the Redemption Island winner. He had Sarita in spot 11, I had her in spot 9. So, Sash added two points to his lead. The score is now Team Sash 76, Team Gordon 69. On Twitter, I was bested by both @SherriErwin and @JohnSActon.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Nicaragua” finalist Matthew “Sash” Lenahan and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” loudmouth Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if David is voted out this week, Sash will receive 1 point and Gordon will receive 10 points. Also, each player will pick who they think will win at Redemption Island. If they choose correctly they will receive a bonus point. At the end of the season, the person  with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Redemption Island” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Sash picked Matt to win, I picked Matt to win. Sash had Krista in spot 12, I had Krista in spot 12. Apparently great minds think alike. The current score is now Team Sash 51, Team Gordon 47.

Before we get into this week’s throwdown, I though we should take a minute to see what our worthy competition has been up to since his impressive run in “Survivor: Nicaragua.”

Gordon Holmes: How has life been since returning from the Nicaraguan wilderness?
Matthew “Sash” Lenahan: Life has been great since returning to New York!  I’m back to selling luxury real estate in Manhattan and Brooklyn, I just took a trip to Puerto Rico with my girlfriend, and I’ve really enjoyed watching “Redemption Island” with all the incredible “Survivor” and “Amazing Race” people who live in New York City!

Gordon: What are your thoughts on this season so far?
Sash: This season has been so much fun to watch!  It’s really interesting to see how the social game is unfolding and I’m rooting for the contestants who are playing strategically.  I am, however, a bit envious of their blankets, pillows, and tools.  Hey Probst, we could have really used those too!

Gordon: Would you have thought twice about voting out Shannon or Benry if Redemption Island had been in place during your season?
Sash: Voting out Shannon was a no-brainer for everyone in my alliance and I’ll never regret that.  Redemption Island would have definitely made me think twice about voting out Benry though as he was such a strong competitor during the challenges which is the only reason why he was targeted instead of Fabio at time of his departure…in retrospect that sounds crazy, right?  The thing about “Survivor” is that you have to make decisions based on that exact moment in time.  I have no regrets from my season and hope to have another chance at winning the title of Sole Survivor someday!

TEAM SASH Current Score: 51	.	TEAM GORDON Current Score: 47
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#1 David – David was right, “Survivor” isn’t a pee-wee soccer league, and with the exception of Rob, he’s the only captain of the squad.	.	#1 Boston Rob – Is Boston Rob playing a great game or is his tribe just rolling over? It’s probably a combination of both. Either way, he’s safe until the merge.

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#2 Mike – I believe Mike has more cards he hasn’t shown yet and I’m looking forward to seeing how he plays them.	.	#2 Mike – If Krista is to be believed, Mike is close to both Steve and Julie. Having options once the Brady Bunch hits the merge will play in Mike’s favor.

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#3 Grant – Grant has the greatest mentor of anyone with Rob at his side.  As long as Rob stays in the game, his apprentice will reap the benefits.	.	#3  Julie – Julie isn’t bugging anybody. She’s kind of got a Susie Smith vibe in that I could see her coasting after the merge to the end.

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#4 Natalie – Spa day may place the first spotlight on Natalie, but in the end what girl wouldn’t want to look good for Rob?  Trust me, he’s not keeping her around because she’s a good hunter-gatherer.	.	#4 Grant – Rob doesn’t trust you enough to let you know he has an immunity idol. You’re safe till the merge, champ. But you and Rob are going to be the Brady Bunch’s first targets.

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#5 Ashley – Will the girls’ spa day put a target on her back?  Ashley has the most to lose as her closest girlfriend is also Rob’s closest girlfriend.	.	#5 Ralph – Now that Ralph’s tribe has a few no-brainer votes with Krista and Stephanie, there isn’t much he can mess up. Hopefully he remembers who to vote for better than he remembers his right from his left.

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#6 Ralph – Ralph may have the idol, but that will only keep him safe for a short time after the merge.  Maybe his first step should be to figure out which way to turn when someone yells “left.”	.	#6 Natalie – Boston Rob is doing whatever he pleases right under Other Amber’s nose. Should she care? Honestly, probably not. If she ends up in the final three with Rob, she has plausible deniability.

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#7 Boston Rob – Rob has shown he has mastered this game, but will his overconfidence get the best of him?	.	#7 Ashley – Applications are going to go through the roof now that Ashley is making the game look like a beach vacation. I’m thinking the next reward will be toenail polish and margaritas.

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#8 Steve – Perhaps Steve has been in retirement from the NFL for too long?  He needs to draw up some new plays; otherwise, he’s going to get sacked.	.	#8 Sarita – There’s no reason to fight with David over something as minor as who does the puzzles. Admit you made a mistake and let him dig his own grave.

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#9 Julie – Calling Krista and Stephanie “pawns in this game” shows how little Julie really knows about “Survivor.”  If one thing has held true for 21 prior seasons, it’s that anyone can be on the bottom one day, and on the top the next.	.	#9 Steve – What’s the deal, Steve? Why does everyone think you’re a physical liability? Are we missing something?

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#10 Sarita – Sarita’s poor judgement, lack of leadership, and obvious temper with David mark a difficult uphill battle for her.	.	#10 David – Sash, ask yourself; would you have picked a fight over who did the puzzle? Would Todd Herzog? Would Parvati? Would Richard Hatch?

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#11 Andrea – Despite playing extremely well now, Andrea knows that when Phillip is your closest ally, trouble can’t be far away.	.	#11 Stephanie – I hope you stay forever, Stephanie. You’re adorable and hilarious. But, we both know you’re done unless a merge happens real soon.

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#12 Stephanie – Now that she’s flying solo, Stephanie has to divide and conquer.  I’m willing to bet the highlight of this season will be how, not when, she exits this game.	.	#12 Phillip – Phillip, you are entertaining to watch, but you must be a nightmare to take into account when it comes to strategy. Right now you and Matt are the only flaws in Rob’s game.

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#13 Phillip – Phillip may be waiting for his opportunity to replace the king, but will his tribe send him to Redemption Island before he gets the chance?	.	#13 Andrea – I’m probably going out on a limb here putting Andrea behind Phillip, but Boston Rob has to be a little freaked out that Matt is hanging around. It might be time for a romantic rendezvous on Redemption Island.

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Redemption Island Winner – Matt will continue his winning streak against Krista, but I have a feeling it won’t be easy.  I’m hopeful for another Rob-Stephanie gathering at Redemption Island.	.	Redemption Island Winner – Unless the challenge is having weak Tribal Council arguments, I can’t see Krista getting the best of Matt.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.

“You can never play ‘Survivor’ again because people will be gunning for you.’” – Gordon Holmes to Russell Hantz – May 17, 2010

I may be known for my terrible predictions, but that one was dead on…

Russell never got a chance to get started in “Survivor: Redemption Island.” All of the sock burning, trash talking, and back stabbing he’d gotten away with in previous seasons finally came back to haunt him.

I spoke with Russell the day after his removal from the game and found out about his emotional farewell, how he tried to play the game differently, and how he unintentionally helped Ralph find the hidden immunity idol.

Gordon Holmes: Things got emotional last night. What was going through your mind when you broke down after the Redemption Island challenge?
Russell Hantz: Man, I love the game so much. I respect the game so much, and I respect the people involved. It’s much more than, “Oh Russell’s such a baby. He’s getting voted out. He can’t even stand up for himself.” It had nothing to do with me personally getting voted out.  It had everything to do with me being supposed to go all the way. It’s really unfair for me because my millions of fans just know I’m going to go all the way. I look at Jeff (Probst) and I see the disappointment in his face. I see the disappointment in the whole crew. And when I’m looking around it breaks my heart because I felt like I let everybody down.
Gordon: After you got it back together, you coughed up some information about the Zapatera alliance. How did it feel to get that last dig in to Ralph?
Russell: The guy stumbled onto the idol because I told him to look for rocks to make the fire pit hotter. He stumbled onto it because of me. And if you notice, when he finds it he tosses it to the side. He still doesn’t have a clue. He keeps saying, “This ol’ boy is pretty good at this game too.” And he outs himself! He was ready to take his idol out of the bag. That’s what I wanted. Really, Ralph?  You are a retard. And I use that word as in “The Hangover.”
Gordon: When we spoke after “Heroes Vs. Villains” you said you wouldn’t have a problem voting for someone if they stabbed you in the back. If you had made the jury, would you have voted for Ralph?
Russell: It depends on who was with him. It depends on what he did in the game and what I saw on the jury. But if he played the game the best and he used that idol to save one of his teammates to still have numbers, then yes I would have. But people don’t play like that, they don’t play like me. I save my alliance till the end.

Gordon: I was in the camp that thought you’d never get a chance to fairly compete in “Survivor” again because your tribe would be automatically gunning for you.
Russell: This whole tribe was thinking of getting rid of Russell from day one. It was the “Get Rid of Russell Game” at first. This wasn’t “Survivor.” They must’ve gotten a little extra money to get rid of me, there was a bounty on my head. I’m going to have to ask Mark (Burnett) if they put a bounty on my head, because that’s how they’re playing.
Gordon: I disagreed with getting rid of you so early. I think it’d be wise to team up with you Mick Trimming-style and let you take all the bullets.
Russell: Right and then you’ll be safe. So yes, it doesn’t make sense. But they were so scared of me, it was like I was John Gotti. I’d look them in the eye and they’d start shaking. They were flustered just talking to me.

Gordon: How close were you to getting something going at Zapatera?
Russell: Trust me, dude, I was close. If Julie would have made that switch it would have been a totally different game. My tribe would have went all the way to the end of the game.
Gordon: Did you ever think you had Julie’s vote?
Russell: I thought maybe…Stephanie was like, “Oh no, I believe her.”  I was thinking, “I don’t know, but we maybe have a shot.” Because Julie was the one who told me they were going to throw the challenge. So, by her telling me that, I thought maybe it would happen. But time will tell how well she does in the game. But I can tell you this, this is what I would’ve done; I would’ve taken Julie, Stephanie, and Krista all the way to the end. I would have voted out Stephanie, because Stephanie was a very strategic player. And you know what would have happened? Julie would have won.
Gordon: Did you tell Julie that?
Russell: I told her that. I told her I could guarantee her the top five. She asked if she could be my Parvati (Shallow) and I could take her all the way. I said “No.” I wasn’t going to promise that.

Gordon: One of the knocks against you is that you were playing a very similar game to what we saw in “Samoa” and “Heroes Vs. Villains.” Would you agree or disagree with that?
Russell: I was playing different, they just weren’t showing it.
Gordon: What moves were you making that we didn’t see?
Russell: The first people I went up to were Mike and David. And we all fist-bumped and it was on. And then I went up to Stephanie. And then I went back to them because I didn’t want them to think I was doing stuff behind their back. And I said, “If you want her gone, that’s fine. But you have my vote and you have her vote. “

Gordon: Alright, let’s get to know your tribe a little better. We’ll start off with Steve.
Russell: Steve is an NFL football player that is weak. He is weak in mind, body, and soul. That’s why his first injury in the NFL…he quits. It comes with the game, the game’s about life. He’s a quitter in life. He’ll never have nothing. What is he 70 years old and he has nothing? He probably drives a Volvo.

Gordon: Alright, David?
Russell: David knows he made a huge mistake, because he’s the smartest guy out there. If David would have aligned with me, I think I would have done better than I would have with Julie. The only reason I didn’t go with David is because he got into a big argument with Stephanie that they didn’t show. They were cussing and screaming. I thought there was no way he was going to align with me cause that’s her problem, her mouth.

Gordon: Let’s try Julie.
Russell: Julie is the weakest fire fighter. If my house is on fire I’m not calling her.

Gordon: Ralph?
Russell: Ralph is the dumbest person I know on the face of the Earth. He’s trying to do all that stuff for the camera. You know, crowing like a rooster don’t get ya popular, Ralph.
Gordon: Yeah, that’s true.
Russell: And you stumbled over that idol. Don’t think you got the best of me. Cause I’m not even out there and I’m still out there. They’re going to be talking Russell-this, Russell-that for the rest of the show.  You can get rid of me here, but not in spirit. I’m still there messing with you.

Gordon: Let’s talk about Krista.
Russell: Krista was my Natalie (White) out there, but Krista was much more aggressive. They didn’t show a lot about Krista, but she’s so honest. She’s such a good person. She’s a Christian girl. She would’ve stuck with me to the end.  She was like a Natalie, but with a game. I don’t want to diminish Natalie though, Natalie is a sweetheart.

Gordon: Tell me about Mike.
Russell: Mike is the definition of douche bag. He is that tool.

Gordon: (Laughs) Alright, Stephanie?
Russell: If Stephanie doesn’t go far in the game, it’s a shame. Everybody is going to hate this comment, but I’ve played with the best. Stephanie is just as good as if not better than Parvati. Stephanie is stronger than Parvati, she’s more strategic. The only thing she doesn’t have that Parvati has is that Stephanie has that Sandra (Diaz-Twine) attitude. She can be lippy. But she’s so much better looking than Sandra.

Gordon: Let’s try Sarita.
Russell: They ain’t showing this, but she’s in control. She’s the one I’d see in the corner talking and flaring her arms around and telling them what to do. It’s like everyone else was little puppets listening to her. She was the one nudging dumbass not to show his idol.

Gordon: Last night you said this would be your last time playing. If it is, how would you like to be remembered?
Russell: Twenty years from now when “Survivor” is all over and you ask someone to name three names, it’s probably going to be Parvati, Russell, and Rob. I want to be remembered as one of the greatest players, the most passionate player, that loved the game. I got addicted to that game like crack.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.

‘Survivor’	‘The Bachelor’	‘Top Chef’	‘Minute to Win It’

Note: I’m aware that the headline for this article is brutal. However, I apologize for nothing.

Last Week: Boston Rob scored the first of the immunity idol clues, Zapatera faced a challenge and intentionally tried to lose, while Russell being voted out was the episode’s big news.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Kristina – 46, Law Student
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Technology Executive
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Krista – 25, Pharmaceutical Rep
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer
Stephanie – 26, Waitress
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing hope)

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Russell – 38, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

We start off at Redemption Island where Matt is telling us how cool it is that he’s been blindsided by Boston Rob and is now bunking with Russell. Sounds like a “Survivor” fantasy camp to me.

The following morning, Phillip is annoying his tribe mates by sweeping the campsite while they’re trying to sleep.

When I’m teaching my class at “Survivor” fantasy camp…

Rule #1: Don’t be noisy while other people are trying to sleep.

Rule #2: Don’t try to sweep dirt off of a dirt floor.

Not only that, but Boston Rob is annoyed that Phillip is wandering around in his fuchsia tighty-whiteys.

Rule #3: When “Survivor” gives you your swimwear, wear it.

Over at Zapatera, Natalie and Krista know that they’re next on the chopping block. Their only hope? Finding the immunity idol.

Steve realizes this must be their next move. Ralph lets him know that that isn’t a concern by showing him and the rest of the alliance his hidden immunity idol.

Mike and Julie are both worried that Russell could come back into the game and get them. That’s the best part of the Redemption Island twist, it turns Russell Hantz into Freddy Krueger.

Special invites for Redemption Island arrive in tree mail. Phillip and Kristina will attend for Ometepe, while Ralph and Sarita will attend for Zapatera. Formal dress is optional.

Before the challenge starts off, Russell lets us know that Matt’s a good guy, but he’ll have to destroy him. All part of keeping hope alive, I guess.

Matt intends to win to honor his God. Uh-oh, last time Russell squared off against a prayer warrior Natalie White walked out with a million-dollar check.

Redemption Island Challenge: Each of the competitors will use a set of dominoes to build a line that travels up and down a wobbly bridge. Once a player is happy with his line of blocks, he’ll return to the beginning and set off the domino reaction. If it successfully reaches the end, it will knock a ball down a ramp and through a tile. If not, they’ll have to start all over again. The first person to break their tile earns redemption (for this episode, at least).

We start off and Matt gets off to a bit of a lead. He’s finally happy with his set-up and knocks the first block over. It gets about halfway through and stops.

Russell’s up next. He starts it off and has the same result as Matt, only about half-way.

Confession: I’m not a Russell fan. (I tend to root for Tyson Apostol and Carolina Eastwood.) But I’ll admit that my heart sunk when Russell’s dominoes stopped. What can I say, the guy’s fun to watch.

Matt hustles and gives his line another try. He sets it off…and is successful. The tile is broken, Matt wins redemption, Russell is a goner, and socks everywhere rejoice.

With Russell’s fate no longer in doubt, Dr. Probst then cover hope with a sheet. The official time of hope’s death was 8:13 pm ET.

During the post-challenge wrap-up, Russell starts to well up and cry. He pulls his hat down over his eyes so the others can’t see his tears.

When Russell finally does speak, he says he respects the game too much to go out like that. He then tears into Ralph and Sarita for throwing the challenge.

Ralph takes exception to this, even admitting that he already has the immunity idol. Krista tries to talk him out of showing Russell the idol, but it’s too late. The secret is out.

Ralph acts like he was faking, but he didn’t count on having a five-star former federal agent sitting nearby. Phillip uses his razor-sharp fib-detecting skills to determine that Ralph does in fact have the idol.

Russell keeps the information exchange going, telling Phillip what the alliances are at Zapatera beach.

When it’s over, Russell drops his buff in the fire. He tells us that this will be his last time playing the game as he has nothing left to prove. Except…you know…that he can win the game.

Meanwhile back at Ometepe, Boston Rob welcomes an afternoon without Kristina and Double-0 Phillip. He proposes a game of Royal Treatment. The rules of Royal Treatment are never fully explained, but it seems to be some form of beach bocce-ball game where the winner gets whatever they want.

The tribe seems into it, so they set out for a relaxing day at the beach.

However, this was all a ruse so Boston Rob can get the tribe out of the way so he can look for the immunity idol. Boston Rob fakes having some…internal issues…and sneaks out to go idol huntin’.

Rob turns the forest upside-down looking for it. Eventually he finds it up in a tree.

Quick Aside: Wow, Royal Treatment?! A fake game to distract his tribe? Rob is playing this game on a different level.

Ironically, if Rob had won Royal Treatment, I bet he would have asked for Russell to be bounced from the game and to find an immunity idol.

Back at Zapatera, Sarita and Ralph are relaying the Redemption Island events to their tribe. Stephanie and Krista take offense to the way Sarita describes Russell’s exit.

Rule #4: You don’t have to defend someone once they’re out of the game.

Over at Ometepe, Phillip comes up with a plan to use the Zapatera info to improve his placement in the alliance. He shares this plan with Kristina and tells her he’ll try to work her into the alliance too.

Kristina rolls her eyes and responds, “You have experience in these covert matters, so whatever you think.” Wow, I didn’t know a sarcasm amplifier could go to eleven.

Phillip takes Rob and Grant aside and offers to spill the beans in exchange for adding Kristina to the alliance. Rob smartly realizes that this means that Phillip doesn’t feel secure with his place in the alliance.

Also, I did the math, if they add Kristina to the alliance, who are they aligning against? The crabs?

Immunity Challenge Time: It’s relay time, baby! One member from each team will run across a balance beam onto the course. They’ll arrive at a crate. They’ll use a crowbar to pry open the crate and retrieve a shovel. They’ll then run back with the crowbar.

Running with tools? That seems dangerous.

The next member will run out and retrieve the shovel. They’ll dig in the ground to uncover an axe. The next member will use the axe to hack through a piece of wood and release two hand saws. Then two members will use the handsaws to cut through a wall of planks. Then, two other players will use the planks to complete a bridge puzzle. Once the bridge is completed, the entire tribe must cross the course (with the tools) and meet on a platform. Once they’re all on the platform, they’ll have to untie a hammer. When the hammer is untied, they’ll use it to drive in three nails that will break three tiles. First tribe to break all three of their tiles wins immunity, barbecue supplies, and food for a cookout.

Oh, and all of the tools are affordable, durable Sears Craftsman Tools.

Sears. Where It Begins.

Krista will sit out for Zapatera.

The relay starts off with Boston Rob and Rooster Ralph taking the lead for their teams. Ralph takes a slight lead for Zapatera, but Boston Rob is right behind him.

Julie and Grant are next out. They grab shovels and uncover the hatchets. Julie has a slight lead.

Ralph and Rob are out again. Ralph tears through the log with the hatchet. Boston Rob seems to be slowing down a bit.

Steve and Mike are out for Zapatera and go to work with the saws. Rob finally releases his team’s saws. Grant and Phillip rush out and start on the wall.

Mike and Steve make quick work of the planks while Phillip and Grant fall behind. Stephanie and Sarita are now on the course to put together the ramp. Rob and Kristina eventually join them. Zapatera finishes their ramp first with Ometepe slightly behind them.

Stephanie and Ashley go to work untying their hammers. Stephanie releases Zapatera’s hammer first. Ralph grabs the hammer and quickly drives the nails through the tiles. Zapatera wins immunity and reward.

OK, seriously? What’s with the tile hate this season?

During the celebration, Ralph stands on the table and unleashes his mighty rooster call.

Rule #5: The trademark move that your tribe loves is making the other tribe hate you.

Back at Zapatera, Mike wins the Overshare of the Week award letting us know that he’s been so hungry he hasn’t been thinking about sex.  Thanks, Mike.

Meanwhile, Ralph tells us that he enjoyed the barbecue so much that he’s been sucking his fingernails that haven’t been cleaned since the start of the show. I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say they weren’t that clean before the show.

Ralph even goes so far as to offer to lick some mustard off of Steve’s nose. So maybe Ralph doesn’t share Mike’s problem?

Over at Ometepe, Phillip holds his post-challenge round table. It literally looks like everyone wearing an orange buff wants to strangle him.

Some girl named Ashley tells us that Phillip is annoying and should go home. Who is this girl? An extra? Purple Ashley?

Natalie thinks it’s strange that Kristina isn’t scrambling looking for the idol. That’s actually an excellent point. Funny how this game evolves.

Rob realizes what Kristina is up to, and thinks she’s far more dangerous than Phillip. Rob even decides to split the votes so his alliance won’t think he has the idol. I’m telling you, Rob’s on a different level right now.

That night at Tribal Council, Natalie tells J-Pro that she thinks Kristina deserves a second chance.

Boston Rob disagrees, saying she hasn’t really been a part of the tribe.

Kristina thinks they should vote out the weakest link, meaning someone who is disruptive. She considers Phillip to be disruptive.

Phillip disagrees, saying he’s a doer and that Kristina only shows up around meal time.

Phillip then proceeds to give his entire life story.

Seriously, who do I talk to about getting a Coach vs. Phillip podcast? It’d be weeks long.

Voting Time: Phillip votes for Kristina, Kristian votes for Phillip, and you’ll know the rest soon enough.

Actually, you’ll know the rest now. One vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina, one vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina, one vote for Phillip, one vote for Kristina…and the fourth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Kristina.

Verdict: I was worried that the show would peak too early if they booted a big name during Redemption Island, but Rob’s clever maneuvering and a healthy dose of Vitamin Phillip kept it on track.

Who’s Going to Win? For all of Rob’s great moves, the move to boot Matt may be the one that dooms him. If Ometepe keeps losing challenges they could be wiped out by the Zapatera Six post-merge. From there I like David to take it.

Power Rankings Update: Close one this week with Sash getting the edge. Sash had Kristina in spot 15 while I had her in spot 14. Both of us thought Russell would prevail at Redemption Island, so no bonus points for either competitor. Sash still leads by a score of 38 to 34.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.

‘Survivor’	‘The Bachelor’	‘Top Chef’	‘Minute to Win It’

Last Week: Phillips showed that he’s half lion, Russell returned to form with some solid lying, and Matt’s hand shaking crossed the line.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Ometepe Tribe (wearing orange)

Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Kristina – 46, Law Student
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Technology Executive

Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

The Zapatera Tribe (wearing purple)

David – 31, Defense Attorney
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Krista – 25, Pharmaceutical Rep
Mike – 31, Former Marine
Ralph – 45, Farmer

Russell – 38, “Survivor” Hall of Famer

Sarita – 36, Visual Effects Producer
Stephanie – 26, Waitress
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing sadness)

Francesca – 36, Attorney

Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student

We kick this bad boy off by paying a visit to Redemption Island. Francesca is shocked that Matt is joining her. Apparently she was anticipating (dreading?) a visit from Phillip.

Meanwhile at Ometepe, Rob is bragging about how Matt went home, Kristina played her idol, and Phillip was loyal. A perfect hat trick for ol’ Beantown Rob.

Phillip decides that his performance is worth an Academy Award. Just so long as he doesn’t try to thank Francesca during his acceptance speech. The mispronunciations could make the broadcast go long…well, longer than usual.

The following morning Matt and Francesca receive an invitation to…Redemption Island Arena! It’s Thunderdome! Two enter…only one leaves! Whatcha gonna do, brother?!

Over at Zapatera, the Zapaterans pull rocks to see who gets to watch the duel. Steve and Danny score some front row seats. At Ometepe, Andrea and Ashley receive the honor. This concerns Rob as he doesn’t want Andrea chatting with her buddy Matt.

Redemption Island Challenge: The two competitors are trapped behind a gate. They’ll have to tie sticks together to create a pole long enough to reach through the gate and retrieve three keys. The three keys unlock three locks. First person to unlock all of their locks stays on Redemption Island. The loser goes home.

Note: Redemption Island Arena is very cool. It reminds me of “Survivor: Guatemala.”

Francesca gets a decent pole together first and retrieves her first key. Matt gives his pole a shot and it falls apart. Francesca snags her second key while Matt continues having trouble with his pole.

Grow up.

(I know that’s an old joke.)

While Francesca is reaching for her third key, her pole snaps. Matt manages to snag his first two keys while Francesca is repairing her pole. They both stretch for their third key with Matt finally managing to retrieve it. He unlocks his locks and wins the challenge, sending Francesca home.

Wow, that was a very tense challenge. Well done.

With the challenge over, Matt hugs Francesca. Wait, didn’t he learn anything?!

Francesca drops her buff into the fire (Randy Bailey style!) and leaves the game.

Back at camp, Rob realizes that he needs to get Andrea back on his side. He pulls her aside and has a heart-to-heart. However, instead of explaining his rationale, he tries to disperse the blame between the rest of the alliance.

Andrea smartly plays it cool, but realizes she’s the low person on the totem pole.

Over at Zapatera, Steve tells Russell that Francesca won the challenge. Why? So when they vote Russell off he’ll have to face Matt.

Wha-what? If he’s going to face Matt either way, what difference does it make? What if Zapatera wins immunity and Russell gets to go to the next Redemption Island duel? Why lie to somebody when there’s next to no upside?

Russell knows he’s down six to three and the immunity idol is his only hope. However, since Rooster Ralph has it, his alliance can’t find it.

Stephanie comes up with the idea of pretending to have an immunity idol (Rupert Boneham style!)

We come back from commercial and are treated to close-ups of the pustules on Russell’s shaved armpits in HD. Thanks, CBS.

Perhaps sick of Russell’s puss-filled armpits (urgh…it grossed me out to even type that), Steve gets the idea of throwing the challenge to hasten Russell’s exit. Somebody named Julie doesn’t like that idea because she’s a competitor.

Immunity Challenge Time: Three players from each team will be strapped to a wheel. As the wheel rotates, their heads will dip into a trough. They’ll have to fill their mouths with water while they’re underwater. As they rotate to the top, they’ll spit the water into a tube. Once the tube is filled up with water a ball will roll down to a slide puzzle. First tribe to get the ball through the slide puzzle wins immunity, chairs, blankets, a tarp, and other comfort items.

Note: They had a very similar challenge last season and if memory serves me right, I called it the grossest challenge ever. That water has got to be nasty after people dunk their gross heads into it.

Ralph and Sarita will sit out for Zapatera.

Natalie, Andrea, and Kristina have wheel duty for Ometepe, Stephanie, Krista, and Julie are strapped in for Zapatera.

Ometepe jumps out to a big lead. It looks like Julie is intentionally missing the tube.

Ometepe releases their ball quickly and Rob is going to work on the puzzle. Zapatera finally releases their ball and David goes to work…slowly. Rob finishes the puzzle and wins immunity and reward for Ometepe.

Russell suspects that strange things were afoot at the Circle K. (Two “Survivor” points for whoever gets that reference. “Survivor” points, as always, have no cash value.)

The Ometepans don’t get a second to enjoy their win as they’re all tearing apart camp looking for the hidden immunity idol.

Rob notices that federal agent Phillip is sitting on the clue because he was sitting kind of funny. Did Phillip the man with the perception powers ten times that of a normal man realize he was sitting on the clue? No. Did Rob manage to get the clue away from Phillip without him knowing? Totally.

However, the clue is very vague and Rob can’t find the idol. Maybe he’d have better luck if he was a rock collector?

Meanwhile, the plan at Zapatera is to split the vote between Russell and Stephanie in case they have the idol.

Stephanie and Russell decide that some lady named Julie is their best bet for flipping. Russell smartly has Stephanie approach her with an offer to be their fourth member.

Wow…and Julie seems to go for it.

That night at Tribal Council, Ralph says there’s a division in the tribe in his own unique way. Probst may need a Rooster-Ralph-to-English dictionary.

Sarita calls Russell out on giving a speech about being a changed man when his gameplay shows the opposite.

Russell disagrees, saying he’s not burning socks and throwing challenges. He then accuses the others of throwing the challenge.

Mike fesses up that they weren’t too upset about losing.

Julie thinks they need to go into the merge with numbers.

Stephanie thinks throwing the challenge was stupid as they need numbers now and can all stab each other in the back later.

Voting Time: Ralph votes for “Ressell,” Sarita votes for Stephanie, Russell votes for Ralph, and the rest of the votes await J-Pro’s thoughtful tallying.

One vote for Russell, one vote for Ralph, one vote for Stephanie, two votes for Russell, one vote for Stephanie, two votes for Ralph, and the final vote is for Stephanie. Three-way tie.

Now they can only vote for Russell, Stephanie, or Ralph. Also, Russell, Stephanie, and Ralph are not allowed to vote.

More Voting: No votes are shown…

One vote Ralph, three votes Russell…and the third person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Russell.

Hantz on the ground…Hantz on the ground…

And the longest run in “Survivor” without being voted out has just come to an end. At least until Sandra or Parvati come back. (EDIT: Amanda Kimmel actually has the longest uninterrupted run in “Survivor” history. Thanks to my Twitter and Facebook fact checkers for pointing that out.)

Verdict: My big question going into this season was; will eliminating someone midway through the show alter the show’s natural flow? For twenty one seasons almost every episode has peaked with an elimination at the end. I think it worked in this episode, but if Russell goes home next week it might overshadow everything that happens afterward.

Either way, I’m still loving this season.

Who’s Going to Win? Andrea’s a smart cookie. She played the Boston Rob situation just right. David’s still a strong pick too.

Power Rankings Update: Back in the game! Both Sash and I earned the Redemption Island bonus point by picking Matt, while I had Russell in spot 14 and Sash had him in spot 9. However, Sash still leads by a score of 23 to 20.

Any questions? Any comments? Our commenting system is down for the time being, but feel free to drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes or chat with fellow “Survivor” fans at the “Survivor” Hall of Fame Facebook page.