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‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – Warning: Horrible Strategy Ahead

March 7, 2012

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

Last Week: The SaLadies finally got the best the guys, Bill failed a puzzle after multiple tries, Colton might’ve told a few little lies, and poor alpha-male Matt had to say his goodbyes.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the two tribes currently stand…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Michael – 30, Banker
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

Quick Aside: They were hinting at big things tonight. Consider me giddy.

Business kicks off immediately after Tribal Council, as the Manotians are returning to camp. Michael is not pleased that they’ve voted off one of their strongest members.

The Zan Bros. (Troy and Tar) have a bit of a pow-wow where they decide that they have enough numbers to keep Michael around for a while. They agree that Bill is much more dangerous and should go home next. Shouldn’t be too hard to get Colton on board with that plan.

Another Quick Aside: Leif might be sleeping in a box.

The next morning we meet up with Monica as she prepares a delicious snail breakfast. Escargross? Nah…they’re starving, it’s cool.

Jonas and Troyzan swing by afterward and ask if they can make a trade for use of the women’s fishing equipment. The women don’t go for it, as they think feeding their enemy isn’t such a great idea.

Remember when people were afraid to make alliances on “Survivor” because it seemed mean? The game has come quite a long way.

Reward Challenge: Teams will take turns using a slingshot to shoot coconuts at a huge wall of targets. The first team to hit five targets in a line (horizontal, diagonal, or vertical) wins their choice of three rewards. The choices are pillows and blankets, a tarp, or donuts and coffee.

Bill will sit out for Manono.

Not a ton to describe here except for some coconut launching. A bit of a wrinkle is; it’s easy to hit the targets, but hard to destroy them completely. This leads to a lot of half-broken targets (or half unbroken if you’re a pessimist).

In a hilarious moment, Tarzan keeps calling Jonas, “Jason.” Meh…it’s not like they’ve been stranded on the same beach for over a week. Oh wait…

The score is even for a while, but the women eventually put five in a row and win the reward. The women can…not…be…stopped!

Tarzan is not impressed with this victory and claims that their win was all luck. The women brush off this diss and choose the tarp.

Hmm…as the women are leaving, Leif congratulates them. “Boston” Rob would not approve.

This week’s “Survivor” Original is my Power Rankings partner John Cochran! He is definitely an original. Here’s hoping he’s a winner this week too.

Back at camp, Sabrina lets us know how annoyed she was at  Tarzan for downplaying her team’s coconut marksmanship. (Markswomanship?) She may have said something derogatory about his rear end too. Since this is a family site, I won’t repeat it.

Meanwhile, Leif slips up and tells Bill that Colton was gunning for him. As you’d imagine, this does not please Bill.

Michael takes this opportunity to tell Colton that Leif was leaking information to Bill. Smart move, Michael. Colton shows off his sensitive side by referring to Leif as a “munchkin” and saying he needs to be sent back to Oz.

Quick Aside: Far be it from me to say what people should be offended by; but I don’t think people would be cool with Leif using a derogatory gay term to refer to Colton.

When Colton confronts Leif with this, Leif admits that he made a mistake. Colton thinks that move just sealed Leif’s fate. He then refers to him as an “Oompa Loompa.”

Sigh…

Next up, the teams receive tree mail in the form of a puzzle. Kat greets this news with a seemingly innocent comment about Alicia’s questionable puzzle prowess. Alicia promptly burst into flames.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will split up into pairs. One pair at a time, they’ll cross a teeter-totter to get to a puzzle. Once they’ve completed their puzzle they’ll receive a key. They’ll then return to the start and the next duo will go. Once all three duos have retrieved keys, they’ll unlock some locks and release their tribe’s flag. First tribe to release their flag wins immunity.

Jonas will sit out for Manono.

Colton and Tarzan make quick work of the first puzzle and jump out to an early lead over Chelsea and Alicia.

While Chelcia continues to struggle with the first puzzle, Michael and Jay complete the second task. Maybe Kat was right…

Finally, the women peek over at the guys’ puzzles to get a clue. Tarzan, as I’m sure you guessed, does not approve of that strategy. He yells out, “Cheater!” several times.

Jay, who doesn’t say much, gets in one of the lines of the night when he turns to Salani and clearly says, “You guys suck. You know that?” So much short-sighted strategy this season.

The women finally finish that first puzzle, but by then the guys’ lead is too great. Troyzan and Bill complete the third puzzle and return with the final key. Leif unlocs the locks and Manono reclaims immunity.

In the post-game wrap-up, Alicia admits that she totally blew it with that first puzzle. And yet, no apology for Kat.

Christina thinks this challenge disaster might work in her favor as everyone is annoyed with Alicia.

Later at Manono, Bill wants to talk to Colton about strategy, but Colton isn’t having it. He tells Bill off, letting him know that he’s wishy-washy and sure to be the next one to go home. So subtle.

Colton makes it clear that when he doesn’t like someone he doesn’t want to be around them or see them. Bill tries to press the issue, but Colton walks away from him.

Colton then comes up with the brilliant idea that the guys should go to Tribal Council instead of the women. Wait? Can a team give away immunity?

Anywho, he continues with this bat-feces-crazy line of thinking and for some reason, his other misfits aren’t putting their feet down to stop it. In fact Tarzan thinks this is a wonderful idea. Tarzan thinks Leif should go home because of his accidental leak.

Are you kidding me? Guys, you’re going to go to Tribal Council eventually.

That night at Tribal Council, the guys show up ready and willing to go down in “Survivor” history as the dumbest tribe ever.

I’m absolutely at a loss here. This is twelve shades of stupid. And my head is starting to hurt from banging it against this nearby wall.

Probst asks for a sane explanation as to why they’re there. He does not receive one.

Troyzan claims they’re there to vote out Leif because he let the cat out of the bag.

Leif admits to giving up the info. But he hopes that putting himself up for elimination proves that he has integrity.

Damnit, now my wall is dented.

Jay thinks the move to go to Tribal isn’t super bright, but he wants to stay strong with his alliance.

Colton thinks Bill is obnoxious and loud and that being a stand-up comic isn’t a real job.

Colton’s a bully.

Bill gets a little emotional as he explains his poor upbringing and how he’s doing everything he can do to get by.

Colton admits to going to a private, all-white school. Wait, they still have all-white schools?

Colton then takes it to a new level by saying that there is a black person in his life, his housekeeper. But, they treat her like she’s family.

Where’s the Tylenol…?

Bill finally snaps and calls Colton out on never having worked a day in his life.

Then, and this is good, Tarzan is worried that this conversation is painting Colton in the wrong light. Probst gets a nice zinger by saying, “Painted by who?” There’s a reason that dude has 40 Emmys.

Tarzan follows that gem up by ranting that race doesn’t matter because we have a black president.

Voting Time: Colton votes for Bill and recommends he take his broke (posterior) home, Bill votes for Leif, and the rest of the votes aren’t shown.

Probst tallies and returns; we’ve got one vote for Leif, four votes for Bill, and the fourth person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Bill.

Verdict: That was just rough to watch. It started with stupid strategy and ended with uncomfortable class/race ugliness. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get an ice pack for my head and take a shower.

Who’s Going to Win: Jason…er…Jonas.

Power Rankings Update: Christine Shields Markoski and John Cochran nailed it as they both had Bill in spot fifteen. I guess a tie is a step in the right direction for the guys. The current score is now Team Salani 46, Team Manono 34.

Programming Note: There won’t be any new “Survivor” recaps for the next two episodes. I’ll miss you all terribly.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: One World’ Power Rankings: Christine Shields Markoski vs. John Cochran

March 6, 2012

Christine Shields Markoski vs. John Cochran (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of  “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Hoping to bring the guys back from a huge deficit this week is John Cochran. He’ll be going toe-to-toe with Christine “Force to Be Reckoned With” Shields Markoski

Let’s check in with our two combatants before we get into this week’s rankings…

Gordon Holmes: We need you to stop the bleeding, John. We’re down by twelve points. Tell me you have some kind of Harvard-fueled strategy to get us out of this mess.
John Cochran: I think I’ve compiled the perfect Power Rankings here, Gordon. I pay very close attention to the show’s editing and story arcs in order to assess different players’ chances. This is some academic stuff, bro.
Holmes: That’s what I like to here. And you? Anything to say to your “South Pacific” buddies for giving you such a comfortable lead?
Christine Shields Markoski: Thanks, ladies!

Holmes: What’ve you two been up to since your time in Samoa?
Markoski: Up to? Up to my ears in laundry. Up to here with homework. All around, up to no good. 🙂 Ha! No, really, just had a great time with the fam. We traveled a bit when I got home. Hung out at the beach. My kids and hubby are beach bums. Read a lot! Just chillaxed before school started and now it’s just craziness. It’s all good, though.
Cochran: I’m back at law school, which has been a pretty jarring transition. I think I’m slowly finding my groove, though, and adapting to post-Survivor life relatively well.

Holmes: Are you enjoying “One World”? I thought it was off to a rough start, but has picked up now that we’ve had a chance to see the women win and the men scramble.
Cochran: I absolutely love the One World and men vs. women twists; they both seem like they might help undermine the sorts of things that often make a season predictable (alpha males dominating early on, Pagonging post-merge, etc.). It’s still too early to have any huge favorites, though.
Markoski: I think the idea is cool. There are certainly characters to enjoy. Although, none as entertaining as our very own Mr. John Cochran.
Holmes: Well, there’s no debating that. Was it nice to see the women finally get a win last week?
Markoski: It was magnanimous and overdue.

Holmes: Alright, the time for pleasantries is over. John, mercy is for the weak. We do not train to be merciful. Now put Christine in her place.
Cochran: Christine may have had an impressive run on Redemption Island, but guess what? Redemption Island is gone. Christine’s a temporary player, and I think we’ll see her time (and that of the women overall) running out very soon in these Power Rankings.
Markoski: I’ve kept my answers a bit short as I know John will be…how do I say? “Expansive with his answers.”  Unless Lin-sanity has gotten to him and he can’t think of anything else except basketball…(I’m hoping).

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate Power Rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Christine’s team will receive 8 points and Cochran’s will receive 7 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than the male team does you’ll get a special shout out in the Power Rankings and the respect of your family and friends.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 31

Got any advice for Christine? Drop her a line on Twitter.

 Current Score: 19

Got any advice for Cochran? Drop him a line on Twitter.
   
1. This guy isn’t going anywhere. Nice guy, good at challenges, barely any camera time (except when the boys win a challenge and he gets hoisted in the air by a tribemate). 1. She’s part of the majority female alliance, she’s athletic, amiable, and not making any waves. I don’t see Kim going anytime soon, unless there’s a tribal swap and she’s left in the minority.
   
2. Safe. She’s even-keeled and possibly a calming force for the girls. I hope she is a quiet powerhouse. 2. It may seem weird for me to be throwing my support behind the woman who’s expressed her desire to punch tribemates in their faces and a willingness to idly watch her tribemates drown, but I think being the abrasive member of a majority alliance can be a good thing — her alliance will likely be scrambling to bring her to the end as a F3 goat. I think Alicia’s in it for the long haul, but I don’t think she’ll win.
   
3. Even after her “I’m cold and wet” (Guess what? You’re on “Survivor”) meltdown, I still think she’s sitting pretty within her alliance…for now. She may not be so lucky if (when) they mix up the tribes. I don’t think those guys are going to forget it was she that refused them the chicken. You know men and their stomachs. 3. Like Kim, Chelsea is athletic and seems well-adjusted. She showed some vulnerability last week during the rainstorm, but, as long as she keeps her emotions in check, I think Chelsea will go far.
   
4. Member of the Misfit (“Vampira”) Alliance. He’ll be OK for awhile… Where’s the sushi? 4. Sabrina was designated the “Salani” tribe leader during last week’s episode, which is really a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it shows that Sabrina’s tribemates think very highly of her and are unlikely to vote her out right away; on the other hand, being “leader” can also make you a bigger target in the event of a loss, just like the Project Manager on “The Apprentice.” Still, Sabrina’s gotten such significant airtime that I can’t imagine her story this season is anywhere near over.
   
5. Like Dawn, I’m going with the home team. I’m definitely on Team Sabrina. I’m hoping she can continue to handle this group of ladies and their “diverse personalities.” It’s not like school at all. It’s much easier to get a handle on a cafeteria full of screaming students than a group a starving, bedraggled survivors…..trust me, I know. I just hope Sabrina being the leader doesn’t come back to haunt her. But for now she’s safe and that’s good. 5. Jonas is an interesting guy to watch this season. Apart from being a member of the majority offbeat men’s alliance, he hasn’t done much, but the show repeatedly turns to him to provide narration and his own commentary. Is he the voice of reason in a sea of misfits and roosters? Not sure, but the show hasn’t given us any reason to believe he’s going to be a target anytime soon.
   
6.  Member of the Misfit (“Walk Among Us”) Alliance. He’s got the underwear thing going for him and the alliance – what more does one need?  6. We haven’t heard or seen much from Leif. When the men returned to camp from losing a challenge in last week’s episode, we saw Leif bashfully waving to the victorious women. Foreshadowing a cross-tribal alliance?! He’s safe for now.
   
7.  I hate to say it, but she’s safe. She got in with the young girl alliance right out of the box. Smart move. If they wanted to get her out they would’ve (should’ve – for our sakes at least) done so already. (I do appreciate that she lives by the motto “better out than in,” though.) 7. I’m starting to really like Troyzan. He’s been kind to the women’s tribe, he’s the greatest physical asset for the Misfits, and he seems to be on at least somewhat good terms with the roosters. If he comes to be known as the leader of the Misfits, though, he might have a target placed on him in much the same way Sabrina has.
   
8.  Member of the Misfit (“Nike A Go-Go”) Alliance. Well done telling the PYT (Love it, Dawn) alliance that you were down with them. 8. By voting off Nina before Kat, the women demonstrated that Kat is pretty safe within the majority alliance. I do get the sense, however, that she’ll be the first of the core 5 to go if she botches any more challenges. Her hoodie is absolutely adorable, though, right?
   
9. God saved the Queen…and he still has the idol. Member, ahem, Queen of the Misfit (“Astro Zombies”) Alliance. I love hearing this guy bitch…and bitch. I really do. Although I fear that once the idol is no longer in his possession it’s “Off with her head!” Also, he’s getting more air time than Cochran and that ain’t right. 9. A lot of people have compared me and Colton. We’re both superfans, we both hog an inordinate amount of the airtime, and we both wear pink shirts. I think that’s really where the similarities end, though. I envy Colton’s position in the game because, even though it initially seemed like he was an outsider, he managed to recognize that “outsiders” actually comprised a majority of his tribe! He seems to be in a great power position, although I don’t know how many more times he’ll be able to cry wolf about playing his idol before it’s flushed out.
   
10. Dude, you stepped in it. Where once you were part of the  PYT Alliance, you are somehow (and I think unbeknownst to you) now part of the  Misfit (“20 Eyes”) Alliance. Congrats. 10. I grew to appreciate Tarzan this week. He’s articulate, goofy, and just delightfully naive about “Survivor.” He’s in the majority alliance, which is great, but I can see his blunt “Can’t you see we’re strategizing?” statements becoming annoying to his fellow Misfits, putting him on the periphery of that alliance.
   
11. I’m not too sure how long Alicia will stick around. Let me explain how one’s mouth can get them into trouble. And there’s no Redemption Island to, well, redeem yourself. If she can’t control her tongue, they’ll cut her (and maybe, it). 11. Of the roosters, Jay seems to be the least vocal, and the most willing to adapt to the circumstances. He’s now an honorary member of the Misfits, but he has to hope something shakes the game up, or else he’ll just go after Bill and Michael are gone.
   
12.  Guilty by ‘ab’sociation. Is he as alpha-male as the rooster? I don’t think so, but now that there’s a vacancy…? 12. When Jeff asked the women if they would change the makeup of their majority alliance if they could go back in time — and Sabrina and Chelsea said “Yes,” — I can’t help but think that they were wishing they could incorporate Monica into their fivesome. She seems smart, tough, and athletic, but she’s on the outside! Doesn’t look too good for Monica.
   
13.  She’s not part of the young ‘uns. ‘Nuff said. 13. This rooster crowed way too early when he stole supplies from the women just minutes into the game. I’m not sure if he’ll ever be able to fully integrate himself into the misfit-run tribe, unless a tribal swap shakes things up soon.
   
14. I hate to put her here. Hate it, I tell you. She’s doing great in challenges and uses her brain. The only reason I have her here is because she’s age-challenged (I didn’t say the “O” word ’cause she’s not. I mean look at her!) I’m hoping that the young ‘un alliance realizes her worth and keeps her. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening. 14. If the women lose, Christina is gone. If she gets voted out, though, at least she can leave with her head held high that she’s the voice behind this season’s most memorable quote thus far: (“Because you’re WRONG, okay?! So SHUT UP”).
   
15. Wow, he’s excited, like, really, can’t-believe-he’s-on-the-show, bouncing-out-of-his-seat, just totally excited. Whew. The Queen doesn’t like excited, you know. You’re outie. 15. God knows I love Bill. His character reel is my favorite YouTube video of the year. Unfortunately, he’s incurred the wrath of Mr. Cumbie, and previews suggest there’s going to be a big blow-up between the two. Considering that Colton has been the more prominent character, I have to assume that Bill comes out the loser in this duel.

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‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview – Matt Quinlan

March 1, 2012

Matt Quinlan (CBS)

If you’re a physically fit male who is heading into the game of “Survivor,” you should have a pretty good idea of what to expect. You’re going to be relatively safe during the early going, as your tribe is going to want to stay strong for challenges. After the merge, you’ll be an automatic target.

That all goes out the window when the tribes are divided by gender or age.

Suddenly you’re a physically fit male on a tribe of three or four physically fit males. Your skills become much less valuable. Shannon Elkins found that out the hard way during “Survivor: Nicaragua” and Matt Quinlan found it out last night.

I spoke with Matt the morning after his elimination to get his thoughts on the target he felt was always on his back, Colton’s place in the alpha-male alliance, and chicken-gate…

Fun Fact: Matt is a San Francisco personal injury lawyer.

Gordon Holmes: In seasons where tribes are divided by gender or age, it seems like buff, good-looking guys like you and I lose that pre-merge advantage.
Matt Quinlan: The format of the game dramatically affects who is at an advantage, what peoples’ motivations are, and when people start executing their strategies. So, when you split it men vs. women, I think it’s the same as you said when it was old vs. young. The males felt like the challenges had to be fair, they wouldn’t be really physical and you wouldn’t have hand-to-hand combat or anything like that. So, it gives the males an opportunity to feel safe. Every man, whether he’s an athlete or not, thinks he can balance or do puzzles or have hand-eye coordination. So, you don’t feel the need to keep athletes or the people that would be one of the better teammates in a physical game.
Holmes: That’s a good point. I hadn’t thought about how the style of challenges would diminish the worth of athleticism.
Quinlan: I wish I would have had the benefit of mixed tribes that appreciated and needed my athleticism. Once I lost that, I feel like I lost my safety net. I didn’t really get an opportunity to work on the social game with a sense of calm because I was running for my life from the first day. Leif mentioned to me on the very first day that I was up for elimination.

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Holmes: You seemed very confident in your alliance with Jay, Michael, and Bill. Was there ever a chance to bring in a fifth person to give you a numbers advantage?
Quinlan: Yeah, the first few days we were working with Colton. And that changed once he got the hidden immunity idol. The way the alliance worked is, nobody was in a big rush to commit to anybody. There was no strong five that formed immediately. And I know in recent seasons that has happened and the girls did it within ten minutes. But, given that I felt threatened because they viewed me as the muscle or whatever, I wanted to protect myself with people that were viewed the same way. I tried to instill some fear in Jay and Bill and Mike. I kept saying, “They’re coming for us, they’re coming for us,” because I knew they were coming for me. I made the comment that I was in the dominant alliance, but that was when I thought Colton was working with us.
Holmes: Now, if Colton had become the fifth member of your alliance, you guys would have had the numbers and it seems like he could have easily coasted to the merge. However instead he seems to be flying by the seat of his pants. He wants Bill out because he’s annoying, he wants you out because you’re the head of the snake. It seems like he’s taking on a much more dangerous role. So, I’ve been trying to figure out if this guy is a genius or a lunatic.
Quinlan: I think he’s more genius than lunatic. With Colton, he’s a tough one to figure out. Ironic as it is, Colton is an alpha male. He is clever, he is way more socially savvy than people want to give him credit for. People think he’s a loose cannon because he’s crying and he seems unstable, but I think there’s a method to his madness.

Holmes: The feud between Manono and Salani seems unnecessarily fierce. How much of that is based on Michael’s looting of the girls’ equipment on the first day?
Quinlan: We didn’t even know what had happened, or I didn’t. When Mike was stealing all of that stuff, nobody saw him do it. They were accusing us of stealing their stuff and Mike was playing dumb. So honestly, I don’t think we figured out who did that for a week.
Holmes: Is that why you were so upset over chicken-gate?
Quinlan: I didn’t realize that they had this animosity toward us. Why would Chelsea make this deal with me and agree with me, and it was a formal agreement, and then go back on it? Why would you start the game like that? I didn’t realize that they felt slighted with the axe and we really did steal all of their stuff.

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Holmes: Last night, it seemed like Salani was peeking over at Bill’s puzzle. Was that something you were aware of? Was it something you could try to prevent?
Quinlan: They definitely were looking at our puzzle. I wish that they couldn’t do it. There was a mat there that we couldn’t get off of so we couldn’t huddle around him to protect them from seeing. But I think that was just part of the challenge. It was an equalizer if someone got behind. But Sabrina did a great job. It was just one of those things.

Holmes: Let’s do some word association. Tell me about Colton.
Quinlan: Colton is a diva. But, he’s also underrated.
Holmes: Bill?
Quinlan: Bill is a funny guy. He’s the center of attention. But he’s also very deep. There’s a lot to Bill.
Holmes: Chelsea?
Quinlan: Chelsea is a great blend between a girl-girl from the south, a southern belle, if you will and a girl you can watch a football game with. She’s just a really cool girl.
Holmes: Jay?
Quinlan: Jay is authentic. He is who he is.
Holmes: Alicia?
Quinlan: Alicia is out there. She is a lot of fun, she’s the type of girl who speaks her mind. She is somebody who will always be talked about one way or another.
Holmes: Tarzan?
Quinlan: He’s a pretty smart guy, but he’s also a ham.
Holmes: Jonas?
Quinlan: Jonas is measured. Jonas is thoughtful.
Holmes: Michael?
Quinlan: Mike is well-rounded.
Holmes: Let’s wrap this up with Troyzan.
Quinlan: Troyzan is a charismatic dude. He’s really youthful and has a lot of fun.

Holmes: “Survivor” is, of course, a TV show. And I think that sometimes it gets lost that these are real people who will have to go back to their real lives and real jobs. In your case, I don’t think you were shown in a very positive light. Do you think your portrayal was accurate?
Quinlan: I certainly have gotten a pretty potent blend of positive and negative reactions. I think people either love me or hate me. And, I’ve been able to see that on Twitter and the boards. I do think that I was portrayed to be angry and agitated, and I wasn’t thrilled with that. I’m really not an arrogant guy. I’m a straight shooter and I say it how it is. I think the serious, business side of me came out on the show and I wasn’t as fun-loving as I am in real life. But, all of the negative “Matt’s a jerk” stuff is fair because I saw it too and that’s all people have to go on. But I know if you were to ask my fellow castaways what they thought of me, nobody thinks I’m a bad guy.
Holmes: Well Matt, I’ll be sure to tell everyone that you were not being angry or agitated during this interview.
Quinlan: (Laughs) Thanks Gordon, I appreciate that.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 

 

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‘Survivor: One World’ Recap: Girl Power Outage?

February 29, 2012

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

Last Week: An alliance among Manono’s misfits began to take root, Kat blew a challenge and released a controversial toot, and in the end poor Nina was given the Tribal Council boot.

What?! “Toot” is putting it delicately. And my little nephew will appreciate the term.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the two tribes currently stand…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Matt – 33, Attorney
Michael – 30, Banker
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

Quick Aside: Before we get into this mess, it’s important for me to say that the Super Dude alliance knows that Colton has the immunity idol. This was revealed in a bonus scene last week.

“Country Club” Colton and “No Nickname Yet” Jonas start the evening off on a classy note by inviting the SaLadies over to their camp. Why the invite? Because a major storm is on its way. The women decide to stick it out.

CUT TO: The women freezing and starving in their tiny tarp-less shelter.

The next morning, Troyzan and Colton take pity on Salanians and allow them to warm up by their fire. At first, Kim wanted to be tough and Girl Power-y, but her coldness won her over.

Matt returns from crab hunting and is not pleased to see the ladies all up in his camp. They owe him a chicken, durnit!

Reward Challenge: The teams will square off in head-to-head memory contests. A curtain will be raised over a series of items. When the player feels they know the order of the items, they’ll drop the curtain and head to another station to recreate the item lineup. First person to get the items in the right order wins. The first tribe to win five rounds wins fishing gear and momentum. They will not, however, receive a momentum idol.

Tarzan and Leif will sit out for Manono.

Round One: Sabrina defeats Matt.

Round Two: Monica gets the best of Colton.

Round Three: Alicia beats Jay.

Round Four: Troyzan bizarrely drops the curtain immediately. Of course, both he and Kat get it wrong. This happens seven times before Kat manages to topple Troyzan.

Round Five: Christina gets the win over Bill. Salani wins reward and momentum.

Quick Note: Former “Survivor” Power Rankings champion Tamara “Taj” George is this week’s “Survivor” original. Love her.

Back at camp, Salani uses their newfound confidence to try to fix up their shelter and start a fire. Unfortunately the dampness around camp necessitates another fire-bargaining session with the boys. Matt must hold his spare embers in high regard as he isn’t happy about giving one up so easily.

Oddly enough, Colton agrees with him. Colton lets us know that he’s a Republican and does not believe in handouts. Meanwhile in Philadelphia, smoke starts to pour out of my computer as I try to type too many jokes at once.

Quick Aside: The tribes are so at war over every little thing. It seems like very short-sighted strategy to me. I’ve got to wonder how differently this season would’ve turned out if Michael hadn’t gone on his early looting spree.

Eventually, the guys decide that they will trade some time with the Salani boat in exchange for fire. Chelsea takes this offer back to her tribemates and has a bit of a breakdown during the discussion.

Kat tries to make Chelsea feel better by saying, “We’re just girls, we’re not meant to be beaten down this way.” By the way, that sound you heard in the background was every female “Survivor” fan in the world simultaneously punching a wall.

Things seem to pick up the next morning as three of the women do their best Ozzy Lusth impersonations and participate in some successful spear fishing.

Immunity Challenge Time: One person from each tribe will act as a caller, while the other members will be split into pairs and blindfolded. The caller will have to lead the pairs through an obstacle course. Once they’re through the course, they’ll release bags of puzzle pieces. Once they have all five bags, the caller will then complete the puzzle. First tribe to finish their puzzle wins immunity. And momentum…probably.

Colton and Jay will sit out for Manono.

Bill will call for Manono while Sabrina will call for Salani.

Fun Fact: Tarzan and Troyzan are paired together. How could they NOT be?

Not a ton to describe here except for some stumbling and puzzle-piece recovering. The men jump out to a super-huge lead as they have all five bags while the women are still struggling with their third.

Eventually, the women recover all of their bags and Sabrina manages to gain some serious ground on Bill. This is a very tough, very cool, tree-shaped puzzle. They’re both tied with one piece left and Sabrina manages to win it for Salani!

Now who are “just girls?”

Back at camp, the guys are trying to make Bill feel better about blowing the huge lead he was given. Colton, however, isn’t a Bill-leaver. He even calls him “ghetto trash.” Uh oh…

Colton calls his misfit clique together and tells them that Bill should go home first. Others would rather see Matt go home first.

Jay swings by their little pow-wow. They let him know that he backed the wrong horse and is welcome to join their clique. Matt also pays them a visit, but he isn’t offered the same invitation.

Matt pulls Troyzan aside later and tries to get him to join the Super Dudes. If I were Matt, my pitch would’ve included, “I want you to be the last Tarzan-themed nickname guy standing.”

Troyzan doesn’t seem to be buying it though. He immediately spills his guts to Colton. Colton seems to be OK with this because Matt is the head of the snake and you’ve got to keep the snake from…you know…wiggling.

OK, if anything, I hope that exchange helped the women feel better about their gender. The men on this show aren’t looking so great either.

That night at Tribal Council, fire equals life…etc…

Colton lets us know that he’s comfortable because he has an idol. I’m pretty sure the word “subtle” isn’t in this kid’s dictionary.

Colton goes on to say he’s not going to be a James (Clement), he’s going to play the idol immediately. Ooo…gravedigger burn.

Next up, J-Pro gives Colton grief for spending so much time with the girls.

Bill thinks Colton assumed the guys wouldn’t accept him because he’s gay.

Tarzan believes it’s good to have Colton on their side due to the connections he’s made with the female tribe.

Matt thinks tonight’s vote will set the course for the rest of the game.

Voting Time: Colton claims that someone “pissed off the wrong queen,” and that’s the only thing that was shown.

Jeff tallies and returns. Colton does not play the idol. I actually kinda like that move. Although, I’d wager that you can only play that card once.

One vote for Colton, one vote for Bill, four votes for Matt, and the third person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Matt.

Verdict: Much better this week. I don’t know if it was the lack of seeing the guys’ strategy, or the weird no-Probst reward challenge, or the way the women were being decimated, but this season has been missing a spark. Here’s hoping this is a step in the right direction.

Who’s Going to Win: Jonas FTW.

Power Rankings Update: Oh crap… “Survivor: South Pacific” champion Sophie Clarke had Matt in the fifteenth spot while Jim Rice had him seventh. That extends the women’s lead to 31 to 19. Hopefully John Cochran can score some points for the guys next week when he faces Christine Shields Markoski.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview – Nina Acosta

February 23, 2012

Nina Acosta (CBS)

Chelsea pretty much said it all last night when she admitted to regretting Salani’s first-day alliance. Maybe it isn’t the smartest move to make the game’s biggest decision based on first impressions.

Those first impressions are why Kat Edorsson is still in the game and Nina Acosta was sent packing.

I spoke with Nina the morning after her elimination to get her thoughts on what Salani has to do to turn things around, the misconception that she wasn’t doing well out there, and this season’s under-the-radar villain…

Gordon Holmes: Last night we heard that you were suffering around camp, but I never saw anything that backed that up. Was that assessment inaccurate?
Nina Acosta: I’m not sure why those comments were made. I was a little surprised. I was participating and helping with camp. I wasn’t tired. I was out there like everyone else. So, I don’t know why they were saying those things.
Holmes: So you were an asset around camp, and with the exception of coming face-to-face with a net, you were doing well in challenges.
Acosta: Right! I’m sure it was just an excuse. If I had to guess, I think when younger people look at someone my age they just assume that we’re old and frail, which is ridiculous. I think that’s what the expectation is.
Holmes: Correct me if I’m wrong, but as a former member of law enforcement, don’t you have to be pretty bad ass?
Acosta: Well, I certainly can hold my own. I’m not intimidated by much. I keep myself in good shape. I don’t have the body of a 25 year old, but I’m still pretty tough. I know I was stronger than most of the women out there. I mean, Monica is a force to be reckoned with too, but the oldest women out there were probably the strongest.

Holmes: What can the Salani women do to turn things around? Because it has been a disaster so far.
Acosta: They are going to have to figure out how to be good teammates. And I don’t know if that’s possible. I think men are engrained with it. For the most part growing up they participate in sports and team things. And women don’t do that. Girls play differently than boys. We were a bunch of girls out there working against each other. Anything can happen though. Some dumb luck could come their way. I think the only way they’re going to survive is if they get a lucky break. It certainly won’t be by anything they do intentionally. They’re really disorganized.

Holmes: Last night…how do I put this…it appeared that Kat approached her teammates and farted on them. Was that accurate?
Acosta: I tried to focus on the game, but it didn’t surprise me. She’s kind of crass.
Holmes: I appreciated how you used that moment to make a move on Chelsea. Did you think you had a chance to get her or Kim over to your side?
Acosta: I felt like there was a chance to bring them around, I just needed a little more time. I think it was going to be very difficult to break up that alliance. And that alliance was formed so quickly I couldn’t believe it.

Holmes: We haven’t seen very much from the guys. What can you tell us about them? Are they doing as well as they seem?
Acosta: I tried to keep my contact with the guys to a minimum. We needed to focus on us. Chelsea believed that, I believed that. But, I will tell you they seemed to have it together. They were really relaxed. There wasn’t much drama. Colton spent a lot of time with us. I felt like that wasn’t going to help him at all. Although I also thought that maybe the guys were sending him over to gain information.

Holmes: Alright, let’s do some word association. We’ll start with Alicia.
Acosta: Mean.
Holmes: Monica?
Acosta: Rock star. Love Monica.
Holmes: That seems to be a popular sentiment. Sabrina?
Acosta: Wow…she was the leader, but she was a little lazy.
Holmes: Chelsea?
Acosta: Can’t figure Chelsea out.
Holmes: Kim?
Acosta: She is a villain. Manipulator.
Holmes: Christina?
Acosta: Very smart. Liked her. Can be a little annoying, but really liked her. Very nice.
Holmes: Let’s finish this with Kat.
Acosta: Dumb as a rock. Very young, immature. Had no business being out there.

Holmes: Let’s jump back into that. What was Kim doing that lead you to believe she was a villain?
Acosta: I think Kim is acting like she’s everybody’s friend. She’s a gamer. You can tell that she’s really involved. She was grilling the guys. She’s smart and I think she’s willing to do whatever it takes to make it to the end of the game.

Holmes: There’s been a lot of talk about how poorly the Salani tribe has been doing. What do you hope young women can learn from Salani’s mistakes?
Acosta: That’s a really good question. It reminds me of what I witnessed with my own kids, what goes on in elementary school. I think girls really need to learn how to be good friends. They need to respect each other. You don’t have to like everybody, but have a mutual respect. It’s really important. It’s a good lesson. Decide for yourself what kind of adult woman you want to be.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: One World’ Recap: Katalyst for Change?

February 22, 2012
Alicia Rosa and Kat Edorsson (CBS)

Alicia Rosa and Kat Edorsson (CBS)

Last Week: Matt and Chelsea feuded over fowl, Alicia and Christina fought over fire, and an immunity challenge left Kourtney with an unfortunate fracture.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s see where the two tribes currently stand…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Nina – 51, Retired LAPD Officer
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Matt – 33, Attorney
Michael – 30, Banker
Tarzan – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Troyzan – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

 

We start off with the SaLadies returning from Tribal Council. Michael is quick to point out that he helped keep their fire going while they were away. He also brought in their mail and watered their plants.

Later, Christina pulls Alicia aside to discuss their Tribal explosion. They seemed to make peace, but Alicia later explains that she wanted Christina to blow up so she’d be an easy first target.

The following morning we meet up with the ladies as they’re trying to get their business in order. As a group they decide that Sabrina should be the leader. Sabrina oddly seems to embrace this new responsibility. Um…has she ever seen this show? Sabrina as the Saleader will result in her Saleaving the show quickly.

Tree mail shows up in the form of a super huge box. The Manobros carry the box to camp for free, which seems foolish as they probably could have gotten the women to trade woven fronds for it.

Inside the box is this season’s first non-Probst reward challenge. I’m not comfortable with this…

Reward Challenge: The teams will race to untie a series of knots. The first tribe to free a ring from the knots wins a tarp.

Michael will sit out for Manono.

There’s not a lot to describe except for some frantic untying. This whole no-Probst thing is weird. How are they supposed to know who to blame when they lose?

Anywho, the Manobros pull out the victory and are now the proud owners of a tarp.

Sabrina’s upset because they needed that tarp like a “fat kid needs cake.” Well, I wouldn’t say a fat kid needs cake…

Next up we…WHOA! WHAT’S UP WITH TARZAN’S SPEEDOS! Seriously, they’re so tiny. “Tarpanties” might be a better description.

As the men are trying to avert their eyes from Tarzan’s thighs, they notice that Colton isn’t doing anything around camp.

Actually that’s not true, he is helping around camp…the Salani camp. I take that back, he’s only 10% helping and 90% annoying. Aww…nobody loves Colton.

That night, the Manonoans prove how starved for entertainment they are by encouraging Tarzan to dance in his underwear. Although in their defense, I’d much rather watch that than “Glee.”

Later, Colton lets Troyzan, Jonas, and Leif know that he has an immunity idol. Troyzan immediately pegs Matt as the most likely target. Has Tarzan joined the Super Dudes? Because if he hasn’t they don’t need an idol to boot Matt.

Immunity Challenge Time: The two tribes will…WHOA! JEFF’S WEARING A GREEN SHIRT AGAIN. That, or the color is off on my TV.

The two tribes will line up on a balance beam. The person on the far end of the beam will have to maneuver past the other tribe members to get to a platform on the other end. If they fall in, they have to start over. If they touch more that one player at a time they’ll have to start over. Once the first player makes it over, the second player will do the same and so on. First tribe to get all of their members onto the platform will win immunity.

Tarzan will sit out for Manono.

Fun Fact: There’s quite a bit of groping going on in this challenge.

Leif goes first for the guys and makes it through easily. The women, on the other hand, are doing a terrible job understanding the don’t-touch-two-people-at-once rule. Colton and Jonas make it over with no problem.

Kat’s having a rough time. At two points she misunderstands the rules and jumps in the water for no reason. Meanwhile, Bill and Jay make it to the other side.

Finally, Monica makes it to the platform for Salani, but by then it’s too late as all of the other Manonoans have crossed over. Manono wins immunity.

Kat blames the loss on it being too difficult to get around her tribemates’ boobs. Whoa…do not speak ill of boobs ever.

Politicking around camp centers around Kat’s terrible challenge performance vs. Nina’s not being a part of the dominant alliance.

Monica knows she’s on the wrong side of the numbers, so she isn’t too keen on going to the majority and suggesting they vote out their buddy Kat. That strategy worked super well for the people on the bottom last season.

Now, I’m not sure if I understood this next part completely, but it seemed like Kat intentionally approached members of her tribe and farted on them. I’ll give her this; that’s a unique strategy.

Nina uses Kat’s gaseous stratagem as motivation to get Chelsea on her side. Nina makes a fantastic argument that the women should be embarrassed by their challenge performance and Kat’s juvenile behavior.

That night at Tribal Council, J-Pro lays down the law, telling the Salanis that they’re off to one of the worst starts ever.

Nina breaks down the alliances, claiming Christina and Monica are on her side and Alicia, Kat, Chelsea, Kim, and Sabrina are on the other.

Nina goes into detail about her law enforcement life experience, then asks Kat what she brings to the table. Kat doesn’t have a great answer. She is smart enough, however, not to claim to be the person who both dealt it and smelt it.

Nina stays on the offensive, saying that Kat isn’t much of an athlete because she can’t perform under pressure.

Chelsea thinks she would form a different alliance if they could start over.

Probst gets the line of the night saying that there aren’t any women at home that are particularly proud of the women’s tribe.

Kat admits that it’s her fault that they lost the challenge. She then does her best Brandon Hantz impersonation and breaks down a little.

Kat then throws Christina under the bus, claiming she doesn’t want to play the game. Wait, what? That’s news.

Voting Time: Kat votes for Nina, Nina votes for Kat, and the rest of the votes will wait for Probsty’s tallying eyes.

Speaking of, Jeff tallies those same votes and returns. We’ve got one vote for Nina, one vote for Kat, one for Christina, two for Nina, and the second person to leave “Survivor: One World” is…Nina.

Verdict: It’s still early, but a lot of interesting characters are coming out. I can’t wait till we get to see more from the guys.

Also, don’t tell Probst I said this, but the reward challenges lose drama when he’s not around. I admire their willingness to try something new, but the challenge in “Survivor: Samoa” was a dud, and tonight’s reward challenge was a dud.

Who’s Going to Win: Jonas is my boy. If things stay the way they are now, the guys are going to have numbers headed into the merge and he’s going to be a part of the dominant alliance.

Power Rankings Update: I let the guys down! Dawn Meehan had Nina in spot sixteen, while I had her in spot twelve. Next week it’s going to be Jim Rice stepping up to the plate for the guys and “South Pacific” champ Sophie Clarke batting for the gals.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Math: Why the New Immunity Idol Twist Is Evil

February 22, 2012
'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

'Survivor: One World' (CBS)

Before last week’s “Survivor” premiere there was a great deal of uncertainty regarding the new hidden immunity idol twist. It turns out that if a Salani tribe member finds the Manono immunity idol, she must give it to a Manono member before the next Tribal Council (and vice versa).

Watch Last Week’s Episode of “Survivor: One World”

At first, I assumed a savvy tribe member would simply use the idol to curry favor with a member of the opposing squad. Now, while Salani’s Sabrina did just that when she handed the Manono idol off to Colton, she also did something much bigger.

By giving the idol to the person who is perceived to be Manono’s weakest member, she potentially blew Manono’s game apart.

What adds to this style of gameplay is the probability that the idol will find its way into the hands of the player most like to shake up his or her tribe.

Think about it, if the tribes were on separate beaches, Colton (the person who supposedly needs immunity the most) would have had a one-in-nine shot (11.1%) at finding the idol. However, as we saw last week, there’s value in someone giving the idol to the most disruptive member of the opposing tribe. That new wrinkle gave Colton a possible ten-in-eighteen shot (55.5%) at getting it. If this style of gameplay stays constant, the weakest challenge competitor or the player who is on the outs socially has a better chance than not of receiving an idol.

Well played, “Survivor” twist thinker-uppers. Well played.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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Dawn Meehan Accepts the ‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Challenge

February 21, 2012

Dawn Meehan and Jeff Probst (CBS)

In honor of “Survivor: One World’s” men vs. women theme, it has been decided that XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” guy Gordon Holmes should lead a team of  “Survivor: South Pacific” guys against a team of “Survivor: South Pacific” gals.

Stepping up to the plate to face Gordon in the first round is Dawn Meehan!

Gordon Holmes: Dawn, thanks so much for playing. What have you been up to since coming back from the South Pacific?
Dawn Meehan: Survivor has shaped my life in so many positive ways. Not a day goes by where I don’t draw on my experience in the game; and I love that. Since the show aired, I’m back to being a mom to our 6 kids and teaching at BYU. And … if you can believe, I’m also giving a few motivational speeches at universities and professional conferences (Eeek!).

Holmes: Are you enjoying “One World” so far?
Meehan: I love the “One World” twist and cast! First, there are a number of REALLY strong players on both tribes—and that makes for great competition. And second, having both tribes on one beach just makes good sense! (I’m all for anything that encourages cross-tribal alliances. I’m also hoping there will be a tribe swap, too–to really shake things up.)

Holmes Are you jealous the One Worldians won’t have to burn their buffs?
Meehan: Heck yes, I’m jealous. Have you seen the picture of me taken just before I threw my buff into the fire (after professing my love for Jeff Probst)? It’s so sad! I look like I’m at a funeral for a friend. [Cue Elton John.]

© CBS, Monty Brinton, 2011.

Holmes: Look at the joy Probst is taking in your sorrow.
Meehan: You’ll be happy to hear that CBS did give me a new Savaii and Te Tuna buff after the finale’. I wore them for 28 days … to give them that “lived-in” look.

The Rules: Each week a representative from each team will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Troyzan is voted out this week, Dawn’s team will receive 15 points and Gordon’s will receive 13 points. At the end of the season, the team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: One World” Power Rankings Challenge Champions.

Wanna Play? Tag Gordon (@gordonholmes) in your own Twitter Power Rankings. If you do better than Gordon does, he’ll give you 25 “Survivor” Points*.

* “Survivor” Points have no cash value and cannot be redeemed for anything, ever.

Set Your DVR to Record “Survivor: One World”

Current Score: 0 Got any advice for Dawn? Drop her a line on Twitter.
 Current Score: 0 Got any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter.
   
1. I always root for the home team—and Jonas is my home team. There’s no doubt in my mind, Jonas is going to play a smart game. I thought he was hilarious in his first confessional, talking about how hard it was trucking everything to camp–while giving his tribe the impression it was a cake-walk. And I don’t know if you noticed this,  but he carried that Hawaiian Sling/spear like he knew what he was doing. My hunch: this sushi chef is going to be feeding his tribe. And maybe Salani’s, too (if he keeps up the bartering w/ Christina).  GO Home Team, go!  1. Strong first episode from Leif. He’s an asset around camp, he’s obviously getting along well enough with the Zans (Troy and Tar) to participate in their yelling contest. My only worry is that he’ll end up with an early target on his back because of his height like Kelly Bruno (“Survivor: Nicaragua”) had for her leg.
   
2. Kim’s in a good spot. She’s athletic, level-headed, beautiful … and part of The Salani Five Alliance (Alicia, Kat, Chelsea, Sabrina, Kim). Based on her confessionals in episode 1 (about “Girl Power”), I won’t be surprised if Kim creates a second alliance of five/six/seven this week. But even if she doesn’t, Kim’s safe for now. 2. Michael’s thievery really set these two tribes down an ugly path. They’re so at odds, it seems like they’re fighting over the stupidest things. Jonas gets five “Survivor” gold stars for appreciating that you catch more jury votes with honey than with vinegar. (Or, something like that.) If Colton upends the Super Dude alliance with his idol, Jonas could be in the perfect spot to pick up the pieces.
   
3. Chelsea-the-Chicken-Handler was one of my favorites last week. Having chased a chicken or two myself, I was crazy-impressed with her ability to snatch those pollos. Part of The Salani Five Alliance, Chelsea has proven that she’s here to PLAY the game. (I loved that she kept both of the chickens–and didn’t back down when Matt pressured her to “honor” their agreement.) Chelsea will definitely outwit, outplay, and outlast this week. 3. It amazes me that after 24 seasons of this mess, some people still go out there not knowing how to create fire. Good on you, Jay. You’ve restored my faith in humanity. It’s the other seventeen players I’m not so sure about. Anywho, even though I have doubts about his Super Dude alliance, I think Jay will be safe for quite some time.
   
4. You can tell Sabrina is a teacher … because she is definitely in charge of her game. She’s in the majority alliance on Salani (The Salani Five), she’s found Manono’s hidden immunity idol, and by giving that idol to Colton, she’s forged a cross-tribal bond that may prove helpful down the road. I think my favorite thing about Sabrina is that she seems so relatable. She’s the kind of female player I love to watch: strong, charismatic, and intelligent. I hope we have many more weeks of Sabrina.  4. Anybody who’s getting caught up in the guy vs. girl drama is playing a very short-sighted game. Thumbs up to Sabrina for not only being above that mess and being a part of the dominant female alliance, but for setting up a member of the opposite team to take out some of their strongest players. Well done.
   
5. “Fire Starter” Jay isn’t going anywhere this week. In addition to making camp-life easier for his tribe (starting fire w/out flint), Jay is physically strong, a member of The PYT Alliance (Pretty Young Thing = Jay, Matt, Mike, Bill), and he hasn’t ruffled any Salani chicken feathers. I’d say Jay’s in a good position to make cross-tribal alliances down the road. We’ll see more of Jay next week.  5. The Super Dudes might be in for a rude awakening if they decide to make Colton their first target. I’m not convinced that’s the way they’re going to go, but Bill should be safe either way. A guy with a military background and a sense of humor should have no problem blending.
   
6. We didn’t see much of Bill in episode 1, but we didn’t see much of Sophie in episode 1 either … so I think that’s a good sign. I just plain LIKE Bill. And I think he has some depth. He’s both a veteran and a comedian. (I’d keep him around for 39 days just to tell stories and jokes. Camplife can be so monotonous.)  Now, if his PYT Alliance can find a 5th member, Bill’s in for the long haul. Or, at least safe for this week.  6. Sorry, Mikayla. You can’t be my “Survivor” girlfriend for a season that you’re not appearing on. It’s not you, it’s casting. Anywho, Chelsea caught two chickens with her bare hands and is a member of the First-Day Alliance (FDA, for short). She’s super safe.
   
7. Colton is such a character; I would have LOVED to play the game with him. Now, even though the previews for episode 3 hint that Colton’s buggin’ people on both tribes, he’s got the Immunity Idol. And immunity buys you 2-3 more days in this game. So, I think it’s safe to say that for this week Colton’s sitting pretty. 7. I’m not totally convinced that Colton is in as much trouble as they make it seem. Why wouldn’t he work with Matt and the rest of his Cobra Kai buddies to get intel on the SaLadies? Why would Matt be happy with his non-majority alliance of four when adding Colton to the fold makes it a solid five? Something’s up.
   
8. If you’ve seen Monica, then you know 41 is the new 21—because I’m tellin’ you, this sister is fitter than any woman that’s played the game in a long time. Wow. That’s Girl Power! Even though she’s not part of The Salani Five, Monica does seem to be close with Christina (partners in fire crime)—and I think the two of them could EASILY align with Nina and some of the Non-PYT Alliance (Jonas, Leif, Colton, Troyzan or Tarzan) on Manono and take control of the game. 8. I’m putting Kim in the same category as Sabrina and Chelsea right now. She’s in a good spot in that if something goes wrong with her alliance, she won’t be the most obvious choice to boot first.
   
9. Don’t underestimate Kat. Not only is she downright likeable, she got some fire in her. I liked how Kat got involved in Tribal Council last week. (That’s not easy to do when there’s conflict. It’s also not necessarily smart, but it does show strength/fight.) In the preview for next week’s Immunity Challenge, it looks like Kat’s holding onto Christina—helping Christina maintain balance? If that’s the case, then I’m sure we’re going to see more of Kat. She’s a team player. And for now, that’s the name of the game. 9. Not sure what to think of Kat at this point. According to Alicia she’s in the FDA, but she seemed to take it personally when Alicia and Christina were arguing at Tribal Council. She’s going to need to pick a side and toughen up if she’s going to be in this for the long haul.
   
10. Matt confuses me. I want to like him. I really do. He reminds me of one of my favorite tribemates–Jim Rice: intelligent, charming, and passionate about the game.  Matt’s the kind of player who makes the game fun to watch. BUT, last week, I didn’t love his bravado/confidence/attitude. I’m hoping Matt mellows a bit this week … and considers adding some women to his PYT Alliance (because 4 people do not a majority make). That being said, Matt’s safe this week. 10. Sure, stealing from the women was hilarious, but it could come back to bite you. If I’m someone like Leif and I need to curry favor with the SaLadies, I’d happily rat him out.
   
11. Oh Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Why did you have to throw Salani’s love away? Yes, the game is outwit, outplay, outlast, but it’s Day 1, not Day 32! You have to build SOME trust with people in this game. And I’m just not sure Salani OR Manono will trust you after your five-finger discount on the camp supplies. But I will hand it to you, you’re in a solid alliance (PYT)–and you’re not going home this week. You’ll have plenty of time to mend fences. (PS: Are you related to TV Personality Adam Carolla? Holy striking facial features, Bat Man.) 11. Kourtney adored Monica…you know…before she broke her arm in 40 places. That leads me to believe that Monica is on the outs with the FDA. And unless an idol is found soon, being outside of the FDA might be a bad deal. (Also, as a “Mean Girls” fan, can I propose the nickname “The Plastics” for the FDA?)
   
12. Forgive the Flight of the Conchords reference, but every time I see Leif, I have to sing: “I’m a hip-hop-phlebotomist.” Okay, not that funny. Well, kinda funny. But seriously, the first half of this game is all about keeping your tribe strong and unified. And from what I’ve seen of Leif, he’s going to keep Manono strong and unified. We’ll see Leif next week. 12. Did Nina do anything last week other than get a Wile E. Coyote-style net mark on her face? If alliance-lines are already set, then she’s somebody who needs to hang back and try to get everyone else to start feuding.
   
13. I like Alicia because she had her alliance of 5 SET before Salani even reached their camp! And I’ll admit: The Salani Five Alliance looks solid. But my main concern is this: it takes time to forge solid bonds/alliances.  And this early in the game, I can’t be sure that Kat, Kim, Chelsea, and Sabrina are locked. (In fact, my guess is that Kim and Kat aren’t 100% locked.) Hopefully my worry is unfounded—because Alicia’s gameplay is fun to watch. 13. If the Super Dudes are safe, that means they’re probably going to try to bounce one of the more annoying Manonoans first. I’m looking at you, Troyzan…
   
14. Christina gets things done! I mean, first she and Monica steal embers from Manono’s fire–in an attempt to start a fire for Salani. And when that doesn’t work, she negotiates a deal with Manono–and GETS THE DANG FIRE! If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on Christina for Final 3, but that’s only IF she can make it past these first Tribal Councils and align with Monica, Nina and/or some key Manono members. (Because after last week’s Tribal Council “banter” with Alicia, I’m concerned that The Salani Five may push for her early departure.) 14. And you too…
   
15. I like Troyzan. He’s a strong physical player. And I know from his pre-game clips, he’s got a real passion for the game. BUT, he’s also got a lot of “alpha male” in him—and there just isn’t room for 3 or 4 leaders on one tribe. So, where/how does Troyzan fit in? Right now we don’t see him aligned with anyone on Manono (he’s not part of The PYT Alliance). And, will any of Salani align with him after he consistently mocks them? Remember his words to the women at the start of game? Or again when Alicia and Monica tried to barter for fire? Troyzan’s probably safe this week, but I’m hoping we see his kinder gentler side here soon. 15. Is Matt smart enough to see how valuable someone like Colton could be to his alliance? If he is, he may get an idol out of it. If he isn’t, he could be sent packing. Also, it’s way too early in the game to let something like Chicken-gate bring you down
   
16. First of all, let me just say that I’m pretty sure I was ranked 18th, 17th, and 16th in the first three Power Rankings last season. So Nina fans, don’t take my ranking as an indication that Nina’s not in this to win it. I just think–based on what we’ve seen so far–she’s in trouble this week. She doesn’t seem to be part of any solid alliance and I think she may have an injury (the cargo net to the face—ouch!). Unless Nina’s working on a separate alliance with 4 other members of Salani and/or some of Manono, I think Nina may be the next female sent home.  16. Why do I think Alicia is probably safe? Because the last thing these women saw before leaving for Samoa was Boston Rob taking a solid alliance from the beginning to the end. Why do I think Alicia might be in trouble? Because if I were a guy who found the Salani idol, I’d do the exact same thing with it that Sabrina did; give it to the other tribe’s most vulnerable player. That player is Christina and Christina would happily use it to boot Alicia.
   
 17. If Manono loses this week’s Immunity Challenge, I’m fairly certain Tarzan is going home. I just haven’t seen any reason to suggest that he’s an asset to the tribe (physically, strategically, camp-wise, etc.). And forgive me for saying this, but Tarzan looks like he may need the R&R. (Or at least a wardrobe consultant. That shirt is so Tom Selleck, circa 1980s, no?) If/when Jeff does snuff Tarzan’s torch, I hope he at least gives a Tarzan “Ahhahhahhh” on his way out.  17. Bad news, Christina.  You’ve really ticked off the leader of your tribe’s dominant alliance. Oh well, maybe your negotiating skills will serve you well on Redemption Island. Wait…there’s no Redemption Island? Better hope an idol saves you, and quick.

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‘Survivor: One World’ Castaway Interview: Kourtney Moon

February 16, 2012

Kourtney Moon (CBS)

Last night was easily the weirdest first episode to a “Survivor” season ever. The two tribes were fighting like cats and dogs at the One World beach, there wasn’t a complete immunity challenge, and nobody was voted out of the game.

One of those things was because of the producers’ brainchild. The second and third were due to Kourtney Moon’s ill-fated leap into a cargo net.

I had the chance to speak with Kourtney the morning after her unfortunate accident to find out what went wrong during her jump, why the women of Salani are underperforming, and which of her tribemates was “obnoxious”…

Gordon Holmes: So what happened last night during your jump?
Kourtney Moon: I thought I had my arms out far enough. And once my butt hit the net I was going to grab onto the net to stop the bouncing. But I guess what ended up happening is I didn’t have my arms outstretched far enough. Once the net hit its lowest point my arm absorbed the impact in a not-so-pretty way. I heard the crack. And, I’d never broken a bone, so I thought, maybe I just popped something. But, it was broken. And I didn’t know it was broken until I looked at my hand and it was just dangling. I thought, “Oh (expletive deleted).”
Holmes: What’s the status of your arm now? Did they have to amputate?
Moon: Oh God, no. They didn’t have to amputate.
Holmes: OK, good.
Moon: They ended up having to move it back into place and they weren’t so successful the first time. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It hasn’t been quite the same ever since.

Holmes: It had to have been disappointing to be derailed so quickly.
Moon: It comes in waves. I think of what the possibilities could have been if I hadn’t broken my arm. It wasn’t a situation where I was voted out. Throughout the first three days I was approached by a lot of the male tribe members and I was making some really good connections with my own tribe members, so I was pretty optimistic.
Holmes: What deals had you been working out?
Moon: I wouldn’t say “deals.” My approach was that it was still early in the game and I was trying to feel everybody out.

Holmes: A lot of people think the women did not come off well last night.
Moon: As a female tribe I thought we should at least try to do things on our own at first before we ask the boys for anything. In that respect, I very rarely went over there to ask them for anything. At the same time, it was frustrating when some of the girls, that was their plan A.
Holmes: Was much effort made to create your own fire?
Moon: Actually, I set Kat up to make fire, because I was making the fire pit. They would work on it for maybe five or ten minutes at a time and then one of the guys would walk by and they’d be all “Oh…help me, help me.” It was frustrating to watch that. The cute girls were just running around, flirting with the boys, trying to get them to do whatever they could for them.

Holmes: Did you know Mike was responsible for stealing the items at the beginning of the show?
Moon: I didn’t until it was too late. I’d look down at the pile and think that we had more over there. I did remember having the axe and the pots. But there was so much going on. At one point Kat had her hand stuck in a jug and one of the guys was pulling on it and almost broke her hand. I was so preoccupied with that that I didn’t see anything.

Holmes: Alright, let’s do some word association…
Moon: That’s evil!
Holmes: Oh, I’m aware. Let’s start with Nina.
Moon: Nina…quiet.
Holmes: Christina?
Moon: Assertive.
Holmes: Monica?
Moon: Light, I can’t say enough about Monica. She just emanated light like an angel.
Holmes: Kat?
Moon: Frustrating.
Holmes: Chelsea?
Moon: I didn’t trust her.
Holmes: Kim?
Moon: She seemed warm, but I didn’t trust her either.
Holmes: Colton?
Moon: (Laughs) Emotional.
Holmes: Adorable fuzzy hats?
Moon: That’s actually my son’s hat! I have a small head and he has a normal head, so he asked me to wear his favorite hat on the show. It was a really big thing for him.
Holmes: Alicia?
Moon: Obnoxious.

Any Questions? Follow me on Twitter for “Survivor” news, updates, and more: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: One World’ Recap – One World Isn’t Enough for All of Them

February 15, 2012
Michael Jefferson and Christina Cha (CBS)

Michael Jefferson and Christina Cha (CBS)

Quick Aside: So…last season was named after a Broadway musical and this season was named after a Police song. If they name the next two seasons “Survivor: St. Louis Cardinals” and “Survivor: Wrestlemania” they will have covered all of my interests.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s meet the two tribes…

The Salani Tribe (wearing teal)
Alicia –  25, Special Ed Teacher
Chelsea – 26, Medical Sales
Christina – 29, Career Consultant
Kat – 22, Timeshare Rep
Kim – 29, Bridal Shop Owner
Kourtney – 29, Motorcycle Repair
Monica – 41, Ex-NFL Player’s Wife
Nina – 51, Retired LAPD Officer
Sabrina – 33, High School Teacher

The Manono Tribe (wearing orange)
Bill – 28, Stand-Up Comedian
Colton – 21, College Student
Greg – 64, Plastic Surgeon
Jay – 25, Model
Jonas – 37, Sushi Chef
Leif – 27, Phlebotomist
Matt – 33, Attorney
Michael – 30, Banker
Troy – 50, Swimsuit Photographer

Set your DVR to record “Survivor: One World”

This party gets started with J-Pro hovering above our 18 new castaways in a chopper. He gets a chopper, they have to travel by rickety old truck. I can appreciate this. Let ‘em know who’s boss.

Colton lets us know that women adore him and men aren’t threatened by him. Alicia lets us know that any man that falls for her is in big trouble. While Jonas lets us know that he has mysterious sushi chef skills.

Maybe he’s gonna roll over the competition? Roll…you know…like sushi. Gimme a break, it’s been a few months…

They all arrive in the same location and Kourtney (complete with million-dollar smile and ten-cent hat) thinks she doesn’t fit in with the rest of the women. Well, that’s a wonderful way to make friends.

Colton is psyched to be on a season with so many handsome fellas.

Greg tells Jeff that he wants to be known as “Tarzan.” Then, Troy makes it known that he’s to be referred to as “Troyzan.” Wow, we’re three minutes into this season and I’m already annoyed with two guys.

Probsty then breaks the news that the tribes will be divided by gender. Colton is not pleased. Do you need a joke there or can we move on?

Note: The male tribe has orange buffs and Jeff is wearing an orange hat. Hmm…

Next up, the tribes will have 60 seconds to take whatever they can off of the rickety truck. Just like the beginning of “Survivor: Tocantins.”

During the mad dash for gear, Michael decides to steal the ladies items. Chivalry isn’t just dead, Michael just beat it to death with a axe.

Fun Fact: Michael is a banker. Feel free to make your own “thieving banker” metaphor.

I can’t say I’m a fan of this move. Even if the ladies don’t know immediately who took all their stuff, one of the other guys will eventually rat him out when given a chance. But hey, it worked for Rupert Boneham.

Anywho, the guys have a ton of stuff and the women are left with some coconuts and a broken X-Box controller. Jeff gives them both maps and sends them on their merry way. But wait…aren’t they supposed to be on the same beach…

On the way to the camp, Alicia breaks down her five-person alliance. She has it pegged as herself, Sabrina, Kim, Chelsea, and Kat. Man, they don’t waste any time.

The ladies arrive at the camp first and are a bit shocked to see the two tribe flags waiting for them. Dun dun dun… It takes some time, but eventually everyone figures out that the words “One World” on their buffs probably means that they’re living on the same beach.

A pair of chickens foolishly wanders into camp. Chelsea shows that she’s not to be messed with by capturing both of them single-handedly. The men think they should get one, but she disagrees. She’s willing to give one up in exchange for something. Matt doesn’t like this deal because he claims they agreed to split the chickens during some pre-chicken-chase agreement.

Both tribes get to work building their shelters. Well, everyone except Colton. He makes it a point to become besties with the SaLadies. This doesn’t seem like a smart move because, you know, they can’t vote him out.

Matt thinks Colton had better bond with the male side quickly or he’s going to be the first one gone. He also already has an alliance with Jay, Michael, and Bill. Your math is a bit off their, Matt, you’re going to need one more.

Jay manages to get a fire going later that day. Sabrina makes an offer to trade fire for a chicken. Matt turns down this offer because he thinks the women already owe him a chicken.

And it just gets worse from there…Alicia literally tries to steal some fire. Then Tarzan and Troyzan (I hate typing that) say they can have fire if they strip and do a pole dance.

Wow! So much bad strategy and it’s only the first day. I’m ready to call “One World” a success.

That night, Christina and Monica go all “Ocean’s 11” on the guys’ camp and steal an ember. However, they weren’t able to keep the fire going. In other news, Salani’s ineptitude is making my girlfriend bang her head against the wall.

So, Christina makes a deal with the guys; fire in exchange for twenty woven fronds. As Kevin Costner would say, “Good trade.” Alicia doesn’t dig Christina making nice with the guys and pegs her to be the first one to go.

Later, Sabrina does a little idol hunting. In pure Hantzian fashion, she manages to find one immediately. Unfortunately for her, it’s a Manono idol. The rules state that she has to hand if off before the next Tribal Council. She decides that it’s best to use it in a way that hurts Manono, so she’s considering giving it to Colton.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will jump from a tower into a net. They’ll then race across a balance beam and a rope bridge. The first team to get all of their players to the end wins immunity and flint.

The challenge starts off and the men jump out (no pun intended) to a solid lead. Also, it looks like Kourtney did a number on her wrist while falling into the net.

Probst decides to stop the challenge when she lets him know that she’s dizzy and can’t stand up. Medical is called in, and they think that her wrist is possibly broken. They need to take her out of the game for an X-ray.

Once she’s gone, Probst declares that since the rules require nine people to finish the challenge, the men have technically won. However, he’ll let the men ignore that rule and continue the challenge. Probst also not-so-subtley points out that continuing the challenge could help them win favor with the women.

The guys have a bro-pow-wow and decide to take the win.

This is already one of the weirdest episodes ever.

Back at camp, Sabrina gives Colton the Manono idol. He claims he’s going to use it to cut Matt’s throat faster than Taylor Swift can write a song about her ex-boyfriend.

I didn’t make that up. That’s an exact quote.

It feels like we’re running out of time here. I’m thinking Kourtney and her smile and her hat aren’t coming back.

That night at Tribal Council; Jeff, fire, equals life, you know the drill.

Probsty also says they’ll talk about Kourtney later. Yeah, she’s done.

Quick Note: The Tribal Council set looks awesome.

Christina and Alicia get into it over the fire-for-fronds trade. It’s kind of hard to understand what exactly Alicia is upset about. However, it wasn’t hard to understand Christina when she said, “It’s because you’re wrong. So, shut up!”

While this is going on, Kim buries her face in her hands like she’s an eight-year-old and mom and dad are fighting at the dinner table over burnt meatloaf.

Finally J-Pro tells us that Kourtney’s wrist is broken in a few places and she’s out of the game. Since she’s gone, they won’t vote somebody out.

Verdict: One World is weird, right? Not bad weird, just needs-some-time-to-get-used-to-it weird.

Who’s Going to Win? Every season I curse someone by making them my pre-game pick to win the whole thing. This season, it’s poor Jonas. I expect he’ll be voted out next week.

Power Rankings Update: In keeping with this season’s women vs. men theme, I’ve drafted some “South Pacific” gentlemen to go head to head with a trio of “South Pacific” ladies. To start off, next Tuesday I’ll square off against the lovely and talented Dawn Meehan.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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