More Whatnot

Last Week: The Houston Astros upset the Boston Red Sox by a final score of 5 to 3. Russell Hantz picked up the win over starter Rob Mariano with Jerri Manthey getting credit for the save.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing noble blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing devilish red)

Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
Parvati Shallow – 27
Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 38
Courtney Yates – 28

We meet up with the Villains after tribal council and the Dragon Slayer is peeved. He thinks that voting out Boston Rob will destroy the entire tribe. He doesn’t comment on how his lame-duck vote had a hand in sending Rob home.

Coach also worries that the Villains may not win another challenge. I think he’s right.

The following morning we meet up with JT as he’s searching for the hidden immunity idol. JT, doing his best Russell Hantz impression, digs in the mud and eventually manages to uncover the idol. As JT is cleaning off the idol, he is discovered by Amanda.

JT smartly fesses up immediately. He returns to camp and shares the idol with the rest of the camp.

We later find out that it wasn’t a coincidence that Amanda discovered him. Candice and Amanda knew if he found it by himself he’d try to hide it. They don’t trust him a bit.

Back at the Villains camp, Jerri worries that they’re going to die if they don’t eat soon. Fortunately for her, tree mail offers “The Best Meal Yet.” Everyone reads this to mean that it’s merge time.

With twelve players left? Do they watch this show?

In an interesting bit before the challenge, the Heroes assume there’s an all-girl alliance due to the fact that Boston Rob was voted out. JT even says “Hang in there” to one of the males (probably Coach) on the Villains team. Russell loves the fact that they think he’s an innocent party.

Before announcing the challenge, Probst has a bit of fun with the tribes saying, “Everybody drop your…expectations.” Everyone fell for it, reaching for their buffs before he could finish the sentence.

Oh J-Pro, you scamp.

Reward Challenge: Single members from each tribe will square off. They’ll roll a ball down a lane in an attempt to knock over ten pins. Each player will have two attempts. The person to hit the most pins wins a point. It’s kind of like bowling.

No, it’s exactly like bowling. Seriously.

First team to three points wins a delicious dinner of pizza and beer.

The Villains discuss who they should sit out, eventually deciding on Sandra and Courtney. This doesn’t seem like a super smart move; now Sandra and Courtney will have to participate in the immunity challenge.

Round 1: Parvati throws a gutter ball while Rupert hits three pins. On the second throw Parvati tosses a second gutter ball. One point for the good guys.

Round 2: JT takes out six pins with his first throw while Danielle tosses her team’s third straight gutter ball. JT misses with his second shot while Danielle completes her Parvati impersonation with yet another gutter ball. Another point for the good guys.

Round 3: Russell throws the Villains’ fifth straight gutter ball while Colby misses with the ugliest shot of the day. No lie, this thing bounced more than it rolled. Russell’s next throw hits five pins while Colby’s only hits one. One point for the bad guys.

Round 4: Coach and Amanda both knock over five pins with their first throws. Coach’s second throw takes out one pin, while Amanda’s takes out two. Heroes win reward.

Quick Question: Was I the only one rolling (no pun intended) with the dramatic choral music playing over the last round of “Survivor” bowling?

During the reward meal Amanda offers a toast to, “The best team on ‘Survivor.’” She immediately contradicts this statement by saying she doesn’t want to get overconfident.

Meanwhile, Rupert is doing his best to hammer his “Fantastic Five” catchphrase into my head.

If I’m ever on “Survivor” (and believe me, I’ve been angling for that) I’m naming my alliance the “Thunder Fire All-Star Demon Destroyers.” If you’re interesting in joining this alliance, leave a comment below explaining how you’d be an asset to the team.

We meet up with the Villains back at their camp and Jerri is livid. She’s doesn’t think Boston Rob would have let them sit Courtney and Sandra out before an immunity challenge.

For her next trick, Jerri does her best Russell Hantz impersonation by calling Sandra and Courtney weak players to their faces. And just like last week, for some reason Sandra has a problem with being told she sucks.

An annoyed Sandra later tells us her ideal boot order which is: Jerri, Coach, Danielle, and Russell. OK, maybe that wasn’t a boot order, she just hates all of those people.

Later we meet up with Sandra and Courtney as they discuss their next strategy. Sandra decides to do her best Russell Hantz impersonation by planting a Russell Seed in Russell’s ear. The Russell Seed she has in mind? That Coach is gunning for him.

Quick Aside: When one tribe dominates the air time, it’s obvious which side is losing immunity. So, I’m betting five “Survivor” points that the Villains are headed for another loss. Who’s in?

Immunity Challenge: Teams will be belted together in pairs. They’ll have to go over and under a series of obstacles to retrieve a flag. First pair back gets a point for their team. First team to two points win. Because there’s an odd number of players, one race will be one on one.

The Villains will sit Jerri and Danielle.

Round 1: Russell and Sandra vs. Amanda and Candice – Wow…this challenge is muddy. Amanda and Candice win this round easily as Sandra really struggled.

Round 2: Coach vs. Rupert – Coach jumps out to an early lead, but Rupert is able to catch up with him about midway through. Coach is just barely able to get to the finish line first.

Round 3: Courtney and Parvati vs. JT and Colby – Well…this hardly seems fair. Although, teeny Courtney could easily glide under the obstacles. But yeah, my first instinct was correct. The cowboys finish first. Kind of like “The Amazing Race.” CBS synergy at its finest.

And…you owe me five “Survivor” points.

Morale is down at the Villains camp, but Coach feels like the Dragon Slayer is coming into his own. He’d like to get rid of Russell, but thinks he needs to keep the tribe strong for challenges.

He also refers to his alliance as “The Force Five.” Man, those Survivors really love their alliteration.

Russell lets us know that he doesn’t trust Coach and it’s time for him to go home.

Not-so-quick Aside: OK, there’s a lot of talk about Russell being the best ever, and I’ll admit he’s entertaining, but his tribe is being decimated in challenges. Voting out Coach seems like a really shortsighted move. Of course, this decision may be easy to make from the comfort of my couch.

Danielle argues my not-so-quick aside point in the very next scene. She wants Courtney gone. Great, now I have to deal with the fact that Danielle and I agree on something.

Russell doesn’t like getting an opposing view point from a member of his dumb a– girl alliance, so he storms off.

Seriously.

Eventually, Russell comes around and decides that they will need Coach for the next challenge, and they can eventually vote him off whenever they want.

OK, good. We’re all in agreement.

That night at tribal council, J-Pro makes the point that the Villains are in some trouble when it comes to challenges. Jeff also points out that fire is hot and water is wet.

Courtney knows she isn’t good at challenges. J-Pro counters by asking why they’d vote out strong players like Tyson and Rob. Courtney states that she didn’t vote for Tyson or Boston Rob. For some reason Probsty isn’t getting Courtney’s very reasonable argument and continues to press his point.

Courtney also thinks that Coach wanted the stronger players in the reward challenge so they’d lose immunity.

Throw a challenge?! That’s not the warrior spirit.

Coach wants Courtney to be more confident in challenges and to say, “I want to do that cause I can beat that challenge!”

Courtney responds with an adorable, “Thanks, Dad.”

I take it back, keep Courtney on forever.

After all of that, Russell says he wants to keep the tribe strong and keep trust in place.

Voting Time: Coach votes for Courtney, Courtney votes for Coach (and calls him a lunatic), and the rest will have to wait until the next paragraph.

Probst reads the votes: two votes for Coach, three votes for Courtney, one vote for Coach, and the ninth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” and the first member of the jury is…whoa…Coach.

I’m going to assume that Russell voted for Courtney as a way to keep Coach’s jury vote. He didn’t seem surprised at all by the result and Danielle (who had been pulling to vote out Courtney) voted for Coach.

Verdict: I’ve never been a big fan of Sandra’s game play, but she knew exactly how to play Russell. Well done. That being said, if the Heroes come back people are going to use this episode as a counterpoint in the great “Russell Hantz is the Greatest Player of All Time” debate.

Who’s Going to Win? Yow…I thought the Heroes were dead in the water. Now they’re only one immunity win from erasing the Villains numbers advantage. Blah…and my pick Jerri is getting into it with members of the Villains tribe. I don’t know what to think. So…let’s go with…uh…Parvati?

Power Rankings Update: Both Rob Cesternino and I had Coach in spot nine so it’s a draw. The current score is now “Survivor” All Stars 65, Team Gordon 91.

What Do You Think? Will the Villains ever win another immunity challenge? Did Russell make a huge mistake? Can the Heroes complete their comeback?

The Boston Rob vs. Russell feud had it all. A fierce showdown between two savage competitors, the scorn of a beautiful woman, the betrayal of a conflicted Dragon Slayer, strategies, counter-strategies, and a powerful idol.

I’m not quite sure how Hollywood expects me to shell out $17.50 for a ticket to the remake of “Clash of the Titans” when CBS is giving it away for free.

Find Out How Boston Rob Got Creamed

Unfortunately for Boston Rob, in the end the Troll got the best of the Puzzle Master. I spoke with Rob Mariano the morning after he was voted out to find out why he has respect for Russell, why he lost respect for Coach, and what really happened when he passed out…

Gordon Holmes: Now that you’ve had a chance to see Russell play in both “Survivor: Samoa” and “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains,” is Russell someone whose game play you can respect or does he go too far?
Rob Mariano: You know, parts of his game I do respect. He’s entertaining as can be, I’ll give him that. He made some big moves that wouldn’t necessarily be how I’d play the game. Some of the things I do respect, and part of the things I wouldn’t do.
Gordon: Which parts would you have veered away from?
Boston Rob: You know, the unnecessary sabotaging of his own team to try to make them weak. I don’t necessarily agree with that. It’s a strategy that’s never been done before. But me, I like to keep my team strong to try to win challenges and to keep my alliance strong.

Gordon: It looked like you knew your time was up. What was your first hint that you were in trouble?
Boston Rob: The morning after Tyson was gone there were problems. We had a five-on-three advantage, and the three people, even thought they got away with one, were really cocky about it. I could pretty much figure out that something wasn’t right.

Gordon: It seemed earlier on in the season that you were annoyed with Coach. You were playing games with him, trying to get him to climb the tree. But then as the season progressed you seemed to accept him more. What was your relationship with Coach before the final vote?
Boston Rob: I had a good relationship with Coach. I think he’s a good guy, he’s an interesting guy. His stories, you know, some of them I don’t know how true they are, but I give him the benefit of the doubt. Some of them may be embellished a bit.
Gordon: Maybe a bit.
Boston Rob: Yeah, but he was a good friend out there. He said he wanted to play this game with me, but at the same time I watched him in Tocantins and not everything he said was honorable.  But, in the game of “Survivor,” who is 100% honorable? So, we had a good relationship up until when I looked at him right before tribal council and I could tell he wasn’t going to do what he said he was going to do. I lost a little bit of respect for him. But in hindsight, now that it’s over I’m not going to hold it against him.
Gordon: When you were voted out, Coach got up to give you a hug and you didn’t give him one. You called somebody a “Little Man,” but I wasn’t sure if you were talking to Russell or Coach. I assumed you were talking to Coach, because Russell must know he’s a little man.
Boston Rob: (Laughs) I was talking to Coach. He wanted instant forgiveness and I wasn’t going to give it to him. It’s one thing to stand up on national TV and say you’re honorable and loyal, and it’s another thing to proclaim it over and over again and then do the exact opposite. He voted for Courtney, is that more honorable? No, I think he took the easy way out.

Gordon: Earlier in the season you passed out. Could you take us back and tell us what you remember?
Boston Rob: That’s hard because I don’t remember much of it. I remember I was walking out of camp. I was aggravated because we were having trouble with the shelter. And I was dizzy, I was having headaches all day. I actually sat down, I didn’t actually fall down. And I felt out of breath, and I remember lying down. The next thing I remember is the doctors were around me and Probst was there. I don’t remember Jerri coming up to me, I don’t remember any of that. I don’t remember passing out because I was pretty out of it at that point.

Gordon: At the beginning of the show you jokingly stated, “I’m a Villain?” Everybody had a pretty good laugh at that, but as the show went on it seemed like you were taking care of your tribe and dominating in challenges like a Hero would.
Boston Rob: I wouldn’t say that I’m a Hero, what you saw was really happening though. I was doing what I could for my team to help them to win. The contrast of that is Russell who is doing what he can to make sure the team doesn’t win.  The bottom line is you have to win immunity challenges to get far in the game. So yeah, that was me. Just because you’re a Villain doesn’t mean you’re not a competitor or a team player.

Gordon: There’s a sandwich place down the street that punches my card every time I buy something. I fill up my card and they’ll give me a free sandwich. Now, you’ve been on five different CBS reality shows. Does CBS punch your card every time you appear? Cause I’m thinking you’ve got to be pretty close to them just giving you a million bucks.
Boston Rob: I think the true odds are one-in-sixteen or twenty? (Laughs) It depends on the amount of contestants there are. (Laughs) I’m doing the best I can, man.
Gordon: So it’s fair to say in the next ten or fifteen years at the latest.
Boston Rob: I hope so. I’ll play them till I win, and maybe even after that. (Laughs)

Gordon: Is it different playing the game now that you’re a dad? Do your priorities change at all?
Boston Rob: No. Before I decided (to go on the show), there was a lot of talk within my family, between myself and Amber, but once the decision was made to go you have to put that to the side. Almost use it as a motivation to do well, but don’t let it change your decisions or how you play.

Gordon: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Sandra.
Boston Rob: Risky.
Gordon: Parvati?
Boston Rob: Flirtatious.
Gordon: Coach?
Boston Rob: Coach is…I want to say honorable, but I think he took the easy way out.
Gordon: Randy?
Boston Rob: Angry.
Gordon: Tyson?
Boston Rob: Regretting what he did.
Gordon: Danielle?
Boston Rob: Who’s Danielle? Oh…Danielle…non factor.
Gordon: The glowing words you receive from Jeff Probst?
Boston Rob: Friend.
Gordon: Jerri?
Boston Rob: Conflicted.
Gordon: Russell?
Boston Rob: Opposite.

Gordon: Jerri brought up “Survivor: All Stars” which I’m assuming involved the situation where you asked Lex van ben Berghe to vote out Jerri over Amber. Did you think something like that could come back to haunt you?
Boston Rob: Of course. I mean, everybody out there has a past. Everybody at some point, with the exception of maybe Danielle, was thinking they were a threat to go home because of something they’ve done in the past. Indirectly, I guess I’m the reason Jerri was sent home. Whether she harbors ill will from that, I don’t know. I’d like to think that she’s a bigger person than that, but everybody has a past.
Gordon: Did you give Amber grief about that last night?
Boston Rob: No, absolutely not.
Gordon: You’re a better man than I am, Rob.
Boston Rob: (Laughs) Thanks, buddy.

Last Week: The Dragon Slayer questioned his allegiance to Robert of Beantown after the King of Samoa presented him with a powerful idol. While in the Heroes camp the Champion of the Brazilian Highlands rejoined Rupert the Bearded Pirate and turned on Palau’s Fighter of Fires.

This Week: Jeff Probst claims we’re in for one of the greatest tribal councils ever. We shall see, Mr. Probst. We shall see…

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing noble blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
James Clement – 32
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing devilish red)

Tyson Apostol – 30
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
“Boston” Rob Mariano – 33
Parvati Shallow – 27
Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 38
Courtney Yates – 28

We meet up with the Heroes after tribal council where James offers Colby an apology hug. Colby declines.

Candice tells us that she voted for Tom for fear of upsetting James’s alliance. That’s smart, but if she’d voted against them she could have scored a sweet James apology hug.

Meanwhile, the Villains are sleeping soundly. Well, all of the Villains except for Boston Rob and Russell. Russell tries to make peace with Rob, but Rob lets him know that the rest of the tribe is still mad at Russell for searching for the immunity idol. They do however come to an agreement on one thing: they’re gunning for each other.

Boston Rob vs. Russell is on!

Wait a minute, Boston Rob vs. Russell and Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in the same week?! I know it’s not Christmas, but it sure feels like it.

Quick Aside: Join me for a live chat with WWE Superstar Matt Hardy this Friday at 2 p.m. ET.

The following morning the Heroes are greeted with vague tree mail that doesn’t hint as to whether the next challenge is for reward or immunity.  When the Heroes arrive at this mysterious challenge, Parvati seems to be very happy that James is still around. Micronesia alliance, anyone?

Immunity Challenge: The players will be playing against their own tribe for individual immunity because both tribes will be going to tribal council.

Dun dun dun…

Each person will be attached to a long rope that is threaded around obstacles. The first person from each tribe to reach the end will receive immunity. After both tribes have competed, the winners from each tribe will compete again to try to win their tribe a delightful picnic that they’ll enjoy during the other tribe’s tribal council.

Fun Fact: Tyson won this challenge in Tocantins.

The Heroes play first and James is a total gamer, barreling through the course with a bad leg. Candice, JT, and Amanda manage to get through the beginning section first, with Candice finishing the second half first to win immunity.

JT lets us know that Candice was the only thing keeping Colby in the game.

As Candice retrieves her stylish immunity necklace she gives J-Pro a hug. Now Colby has two reasons to be jealous of Candice.

The Villains are up next and Boston Rob and Tyson are tearing through the course. Boston Rob and Tyson are the first two through the initial section with Boston Rob pulling ahead during the second half and winning immunity.

As Rob accepts his necklace he doesn’t get a hug.

In the final round Candice and Rob stay neck and neck for a while, but Boston Rob eventually takes the lead and wins it for the Villains.

Boston Rob is a challenge monster.

Back at the Villain camp, Boston Rob and his alliance (which seems to include Coach, Sandra, Jerri, Courtney, and Tyson) are pointing toward voting for Parvati for fear of Russell playing the immunity idol.

Coach lets us know that he’s being pulled in two directions, but he’s a man of his word and that he’s voting for Parvati. We’ll see if he sticks to that.

Later, Boston Rob tells Russell that if he doesn’t have the idol that he’d better go get it. Russell claims not to have it, to which Rob replies, “It’s been real.”

Seriously, who do I talk to at CBS about getting those two permanent immunity? Watching them butt heads is better than cherry-flavored Starburst jelly beans.

Russell isn’t buying Rob’s ploy. He tells Danielle and Parvati that Team Boston Rob is trying to flush the idol out and are going to vote for Parvati. His plan is to vote for Tyson and give Parvati the idol.

Back at the Heroes camp, Colby is frustrated that James had a better challenge performance than he did. Colby tells everyone that he knows he’s going home and there doesn’t need to be any drama over it. He wants to give the Villains as little actual information as possible at tribal council.

Wait, why would he care what info the Villains get if he’s going home?

Even with Colby’s proclamation, the other Heroes are debating keeping Colby around. One of the worries over James (aside from his obvious leg injury) is the fact that he’s been eating a lot of the tribe’s bananas.

Tip for Future “Survivor” Contestants: It always comes down to food. Always.

Amanda shares these concerns with James. She wants him to stop swiping bananas and to prove that he’s physically able to compete.

So, they decide to have a little immunity challenge of their own. James and JT decide to race down the beach in an obvious ode to the training montage in “Rocky III” (minus the half shirts and awkward hugs).   Unfortunately for James, the result is not pretty. JT even turns around and does the Apollo Creed running backward trick.

Back at the Villains tribe, Boston Rob tells his alliance that they need to split their vote between Russell and Parvati. This will force a three-way tie and then they can pick off the other member of the Parvati-Russell alliance.

Russell tries to stir it up a little more by telling Tyson that he’s going to vote for Parvati. Tyson seems intrigued by this, and is considering voting for Parvati too.

That night at tribal council, J-Pro asks Jerri how “Survivor” has changed since she originally played. She says that now actual survival takes a backseat to the gameplay. And back then you could buy a newspaper and a quart of milk for a nickel.

I may have made up that last part.

Probst asks the same question of Boston Rob who responds by saying there weren’t any hidden immunity idols in his day.

Rob then says that nobody knows who has the idol. Sandra disagrees saying, “We all know who has it.” She also tells Russell that if he doesn’t have it, he’d better go find it.

Voting Time: Parvati votes for Tyson, Jerri votes for Parvati, and Boston Rob votes for Russell saying, “Welcome to the big leagues.” Coach votes for Parvati, Courtney votes for Parvati, and Sandra votes for Russell saying “You need to get in the ocean and wash your a–.”  The rest of the votes aren’t shown.

J-Pro asks if anyone has the idol…the camera flips around…and…we get a…commercial.

A crummy commercial?  Now I know how Ralphie felt.

OK, we’re back and Russell has decided to play his immunity idol…but not for himself. He tells Coach that he’s staying true to his team and gives the idol to Parvati.

Parvati seems genuinely shocked. That makes two of us.

Two votes for Russell, four votes for Parvati that don’t count, two votes for Tyson, and the sixth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” is…Tyson!

The Villains are stunned.

Wow…Boston Rob welcomed Russell to the big leagues, and Russell took Rob’s best pitch out of the park.

During Tyson’s farewell, he admits that his booting was all his fault. If he had voted for Russell he would have easily beaten Russell in a tie breaker. But, it’s not all bad as he admits that he’s still awesome.

Another Quick Aside: The worst part about having both Tyson and Randy out of the game so early? Now I have to count on Courtney for all of my snarky comments. I have faith in you, Courtney.

The Heroes make their way in next, and they are not pleased that they have a front row seat for the Villains’ hot dog buffet.

The foot race is brought up, and James admits that he was schooled by JT. Amanda says that could be a big deal if the next challenge involves running.

James says that Colby was one of the best players when he was growing up. Colby takes offense to James inferring that he’s old. James continues his anti-Colby sentiment saying Colby’s Superman costume is really a fat suit. For some reason Colby doesn’t take offense to that.

James continues with his monologue, complaining about the confusing banana etiquette around camp.

Fun Fact: I’m thinking of naming my fantasy baseball team “Banana Etiquette.”

Afterwards, Colby admits that he has been disappointed with his performance in challenges.

Voting Time Part Deux: James votes for Colby, Colby votes for James, and the rest of the votes are on the down low.

One vote for Colby, three votes for James, and the seventh person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” is…James.

As James walks away, JT tells James to have a shot for them. James responds by saying, “I’m going to be good and drunk in the next five minutes.”

The Heroes, ladies and gentlemen. Models for America’s youth.

Maybe I shouldn’t talk. I’ve downed an entire bag of Starburst jelly beans while writing this recap.

Verdict: One of the best tribal councils in “Survivor” history? Easily. Russell is an evil genius. And if that show of team unity is enough to get Coach to swing to Russell’s side, then Russell is a double genius.

Who’s Going to Win? Russell vs. Boston Rob can’t last forever, and when it’s all settled, the people who are left are going to want to get rid of the winner. I think Jerri will be left, so I’m sticking with her.

Power Rankings Update: Bobby Jon Drinkard picked both of the booted players, earning the All Stars 29 points while I had Tyson in spot 6 and James in spot 11 earning myself 17 points. The current score is All Stars 54, Team Gordon 71. See…maybe I can cough up a big lead two seasons in a row.

More “Survivor” Fun: I had a chance to ask a bunch of former and current players who their picks are for the Biggest Hero in “Survivor” History. Also, don’t miss Fancast’s exclusive commentary from “Survivor: The Amazon” winner Jenna Morasca.

What Do You Think? Was that one of the best tribal councils of all time? Was keeping Colby a smart move? Are you on Team Boston Rob or Team Russell?

Last Week: Coach wept over things Sandra said, Sandra crept over to where Russell was searching for the immunity idol, and JT leapt over to Tom and Colby’s side and booted Cirie in the process.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
James Clement – 32
Colby Donaldson – 35
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Tom Westman – 45
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing red)

Tyson Apostol – 30
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
“Boston” Rob Mariano – 33
Parvati Shallow – 27
Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 38
Courtney Yates – 28

We start up with the Heroes returning to camp after tribal council. Colby lets us know that JT is a real American hero, just like G.I. Joe.

JT tells everyone that the vote wasn’t personal and that he was just trying to make the tribe stronger. Rupert and his toe don’t buy that explanation for a second.

The following morning, the Villains are found on the beach participating in some “Dragon-Slayer Chi.” His words, not mine. True to form, Coach takes it very seriously. Courtney and Sandra do not.

Everyone participates except for Russell. Russell is busy practicing his Find-the-Idol Chi. And true to form, he finally finds the hidden immunity idol.

Reward Challenge: Schmergen Brawl is back, baby! Between this and last week’s challenge, it’s like a clip show of challenges that have injured players.

In Schmergen Brawl, three players from each team will fight over balls. Once they have a ball, they’ll toss it to their teammates who are standing on platforms. Those players will then try to shoot a basket. First team to score two baskets wins a trip to Chocolate Island or something weird like that. Jerri almost bursts into flames at the mention of chocolate.

J-Pro tries to entice them with a little chocolate, but the Heroes aren’t into it, they want to rumble. Probst takes offense to them turning down his generous offer and lets them know that the challenge won’t start until he gets to say a few of his catchphrases.

Angry Probst.

The Villains will sit out Amanda, Courtney, and Parvati. Colby will sit out for the Heroes.

Round 1: James does a very good job getting the balls to his team, but he goes down after a rebound attempt. Medical is brought in and James’s leg is in bad shape. Medical eventually pulls him out of the challenge.

Play starts back up with Amanda quickly scoring for the Heroes.

Round 2: JT and Rob get into it a couple of times with neither guy gaining an advantage. Eventually Tyson scores for the bad guys.

After the play Rupert smashes Jerri face-first into the retaining wall. It didn’t look intentional, but it did look violent.

Round 3: JT smartly figures out a strategy where he can use the ball to knock the Villains’ shots out of the air. However, he can’t stop Jerri from getting to her chocolate. She hits the winning shot for the Villains.

After the challenge, Medical decides to splint James’s leg up to see if he can walk. I’m sure this is all Stephenie’s fault somehow.

Meanwhile, the Villains are having a ball at Chocolate Island. Everyone is so busy eating they didn’t notice Augustus Gloop falling into a river in the background.

After the gorging, Coach, Tyson, Boston Rob, Jerri, and Sandra discuss strategy. It looks like Russell and Parvati are going to be in a bit of trouble the next time the Villains lose immunity.

Back at chocolate central, Russell admits to Parvati that he’s found the idol. They plot to make a move to get Coach to flip.

Russell approaches Coach in an attempt to bring him into the fold. Coach is touched that Russell trusts him enough to share the idol. Coach displays this by kneeling in front of Russell. Russell responds by “knighting” Coach.

Seriously.

At the Heroes camp, Amanda points out that this could be the second time James goes home because of an injury. Then she cries and says, “If James doesn’t come back, what am I going to do?”

And…why is she on the Heroes tribe again?

Fortunately for Amanda,  James limps his way back into camp. And fortunately for us, we don’t have to listen to her cry anymore.

Candice is less emotional about the injury, noting that James should be the next to go if they lose immunity.

Immunity Challenge: One person from each team will call out orders. The other players will be blindfolded. The blindfolded players will have to retrieve ten puzzle pieces. First tribe to put their puzzle together wins immunity.

The Villains will sit out Tyson and Danielle.

Jerri calls for the Villains (flashback to Australia) while James and his leg will call for the Heroes.

Hilarity ensues as the players stumble all over the course. Rob in particular takes a nasty shot to the midsection. Eventually the Heroes win the puzzle retrieval portion but not before James loses his voice (this isn’t his week).

Unfortunately for the Heroes, their trouble with puzzles continues as the Villains manage to complete the puzzle first and win their second straight immunity challenge.

Back at the Heroes camp, the players have come to the conclusion that they’re terrible at puzzles. See, the Heroes are observant. Too bad there isn’t an observing immunity challenge.

Politicking revolves around James’s alliance wanting Tom to go home because he confuses them during challenges.

Wait…what?

Tom and his alliance want James to go because…you know…he can barely walk.

JT, in his effort to be trusted, tells both sides he’s voting for the other team’s guy. Colby sees right through this.

That night at tribal council, J-Pro tells us that his niece could beat James in a race right now. James disagrees. Wow…CBS, make this happen. James yelling at Probst’s niece would be ratings gold.

After that exchange, James accuses Tom and Candice of losing the challenge for them.

Tom thinks James is being kept around because he’s loyal to his alliance, not because he can help in challenges. Tom also thinks he’s going home unless some “good people” do the right thing.

Voting Time: Tom votes for James saying “All mass, no class” and the rest are kept secret.

At least if Tom gets voted out he can snag a sweet job writing for Hallmark.

J-Pro tallies the votes, then reads them; two votes for Tom, two votes for James, one vote for Tom, and the fifth person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” is…Tom.

Verdict: Wow, voting out Tom while they’re getting killed in challenges seems like a really bad move. JT and James’s alliance could have voted out Candice and kept their numbers if they were determined to keep James around. That being said, the season has been very entertaining so far.  I can’t wait until we get to see the Villains finally throw down.

Who’s Going to Win? I’m going to stick with Jerri. I’m thinking she goes where the Dragon Slayer goes. And he’s in a good spot right now.

Power Rankings Update: “Survivor: Vanuatu’s” Scout Cloud Lee didn’t do the All-Star team any favors. She had Tom in the first position while I had him in the eleventh spot. That makes the current score All-Stars 25, Team Gordon 54. Who’ll step up for the All-Stars next? Bobby Jon Drinkard from “Survivor: Palau” and “Survivor: Guatemala.” I can’t blow a big lead two seasons in a row…right?

More “Survivor” Fun: I had a chance to ask a bunch of former and current players who their picks are for the Biggest Hero in “Survivor” History. Also, don’t miss Fancast’s exclusive commentary from “Survivor: The Amazon” winner Jenna Morasca.

Note: “Survivor” will be preempted by basketball next week. So, the Power Rankings will return on Tuesday, March 23.

Stupid basketball…

What Do You Think? Can Russell trust Coach? Should the Heroes have picked Tom over James? Are “Survivor” challenges getting too violent?

Last Week: Boston Rob lost consciousness, James lost his cool, and Stephenie lost her shot at a million dollars.

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here are the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hero Tribe (wearing blue)

Rupert Boneham – 45
James Clement – 32
Colby Donaldson – 35
Cirie Fields – 39
Amanda Kimmel – 24
James “JT” Thomas Jr. – 25
Tom Westman – 45
Candice Woodcock – 27

The Villain Tribe (wearing red)

Tyson Apostol – 30
Randy Bailey – 50
Sandra Diaz-Twine – 34
Danielle DiLorenzo – 28
Russell Hantz – 37
Jerri Manthey – 38
“Boston” Rob Mariano – 33
Parvati Shallow – 27
Benjamin “Coach” Wade – 38
Courtney Yates – 28

We start off with the Heroes after tribal council and Tom is trying to make peace with James. James manages to watch his language throughout the entire segment.

Afterwards, JT apologizes to Tom for going back on their alliance. There’s something about JT’s southern drawl that makes you want to believe him.

Meanwhile back at the Villains tribe, Parvati is discussing the logistics of cuddling up with Russell. Apparently her head rolls off of his chest. If there’s one thing Villains are known for, it’s cuddling.

Boston Rob then fills us in on the secret to “Survivor” politics. It all revolves around who’s sleeping next to each other in the shelter. Sound strategy coming from the guy who married his main alliance member.

Over at the Heroes tribe, Rupert is very concerned about the morale of the tribe. It’s almost like a series of toes where one of the toes has been broken off into an odd direction.

Fortunately, a chicken-catching exercise brings the tribe together. Unfortunately, nobody clotheslined themselves Galu style.

Back at the Villains camp, Coach lets Russell know that people are talking about his alliance with Parvati. Boston Rob joins the conversation and shares his concerns.

Also, now that they’re finally showing the Villains talking strategy, I’m going to bet you five “Survivor” points that the Villains lose immunity.

Note: “Survivor” points have no cash value.

Another Note: Fancast does not condone betting.

Russell lets Parvati know that the guys are talking about her. This worries Parvati because Russell is the only person she trusts.

THE RETURN OF THE RUSSELL SEED!

Right now the cast of “Survivor: Samoa” is yelling at their television screens. Except for winner Natalie White, she’s relaxing on a pile of money.

That night, Coach breaks out one of his patented Coach Tall Tales. Russell takes this opportunity to bust out one of his patented moves; The Camp Sabotage. This time the Camp Sabotage takes the form of the old disappearing machete trick.

Tonight’s episode is like a “Survivor” greatest hits medley.

Russell then decides that the only thing Boston Rob would miss more than that machete is his Boston Red Sox hat.

I’m a big believer that Dre “Dreamz” Herd stabbing Yau-Man Chan in the back during “Survivor: Fiji” is the most despicable moment in “Survivor” history. If Russell loses Boston Rob’s hat I will change my vote.

The following morning, Randy finds a clam for the tribe. However, nobody seems interested. When Randy goes to open the clam he can’t find the machete…

Back at the Heroes camp, Candice is working on JT. She’s concerned that she was only let in on the Stephenie vote in the moments leading up to tribal council. This worries JT as he thinks she’s a smarter player than he had originally anticipated.

JT tells Cirie that Candice doesn’t trust her. Then Cirie tells Candice that someone told her that Candice doesn’t trust her. Then Candice asks everyone if they told Cirie that she didn’t trust her. Hopefully they get this worked out before study hall.

Immunity Challenge: The players will square off in a sumo-type match. However, instead of battling hand-to-hand they’ll be using a large pad. The first person to knock their opponent into the mud wins a point. First team to eight points wins. First player to get James to freak out earns my eternal respect.

I may have made up that last rule.

The winning team will also receive their team’s luxury items, coffee, sugar, and rice.

The Villains have to sit out two people, they choose Sandra and Courtney.

Tom vs. Russell: Tom makes quick work of the King of Samoa.

Parvati vs. Candice: Parvati gets off to strong start, but Candice eventually gets the best of her.

Rupert vs. Coach: Coach manages to get Rupert into the mud, but it doesn’t count because Coach took one of his hands off of the bag. Probst calls a do-over. The Pirate and the Dragon Slayer face off again, this time with Rupert winning quickly.

Current Score: Heroes 3, Villains 0.

Jerri vs. Cirie: Well, that was anticlimactic. Cirie bounces Jerri after two shots.

JT vs. Tyson: They brawl a bit, but JT gets the win. When it’s over Tyson gives JT a kiss on the cheek. Tocantins represent!

Current Score: Heroes 5: Villains 0.

Danielle vs. Amanda: And the beatdown continues as Amanda gets the best of Danielle.

Colby vs. Boston Rob: If I remember correctly, Boston Rob dominated Colby during the All-Star season. Fortunately for the Heroes that trend comes to an end as Colby wins a wild brawl.

Current Score: Heroes 7: Villains 0.

James vs. Randy: OK, seriously…who thought this pairing was a good idea? All it took was one shot and Randy was in the mud. The Heroes win immunity and the goodies.

And you owe me five “Survivor” points.

The Villains talk some smack afterward and an angry James responds with some profanity. Since it was a team effort I’m not quite sure who to reward my eternal respect to.

Back at camp, the Villains go to work cleaning their mud off. Tyson attributes the Heroes’ anger to “Steroid sandwiches.”

Randy worries that he’s on the chopping block. He thinks the other men are being won over by the ladies. Randy also shares his theory that they need to get rid of Parvati in case there’s a Micronesia alliance.

Coach lets us know that it will take more than Parvati in a skimpy bathing suit to win him over. It would take a majestic unicorn with the body of a fierce lion and the wings of a dove to lure the Dragon Slayer away from his goals.

I may have made that last part up too.

The tribe seems split between Randy and Parvati. Boston Rob wants Randy to go while Sandra will vote the way the tribe votes. Jerri is pushing for Parvati, going so far as to tell us how much she wants to punch Parvati in the face.

Well, that seems excessive.

Parvati lets us know that she thinks Jerri is a “Bitter, old cougar.”

Forget what I said earlier. Jerri, punch Parvati in the face.

Meanwhile Coach is disheartened that there aren’t any honorable people on his tribe. Did he get that whole “Villains” memo? He says he will do his best to keep Randy on the tribe.

That night at tribal council, Sandra tells J-Pro that when voting they consider who is a former winner, who has played the game three times, and who has friends on the other tribe.

Parvati must’ve loved that.

Sandra also names Boston Rob and Coach as the tribe’s leaders. Sandra then calls Coach out for not being around after he delegates work.

Coach gets his chi all up in a bunch and tells Sandra he resents her for that comment. He also says if she has an issue with him that she should put his name down.

Sandra seems frustrated. She lets Probst know that they haven’t had a machete all day.

Meanwhile, Russell giggles like a “Twilight” fan at Comic Con.

Voting Time: Parvati votes for Randy and that’s the only vote we’ll get to see…

Until now.   One vote for Randy, one vote for Rob, five votes for Randy, and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” is…Randy.

Verdict: Boo…I love me some Randy. All the “Survivor” points in the world won’t cheer me up now.

Who’s Going to Win? I’m still going to stick by my Jerri pick. She seems to be blending in well with the Villains tribe. Danielle and JT are impressing me too.

Power Rankings Update: Natalie White vaulted the All-Star Team back into the game by picking Randy to go home and earning the full eighteen points. I had Randy in spot twelve. So, the current score is All-Stars 21, Team Gordon 27.

More “Survivor” Fun: Check out my exit interview with Stephenie LaGrossa and the latest batch on game insight from “Survivor: The Amazon” champion Jenna Morasca.

What Do You Think? How dangerous is the Micronesia alliance? Are you a Russell fan or a Boston Rob fan? What former players would you like to see try their shot at the Power Rankings?