More Whatnot

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: Keith found an idol that jumped up and hit his shin, thanks to Hunahpu’s bad strategy Coyopa picked up a win, and the gutter was finally graced by Drew the bowled over kingpin.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hunahpu (wearing blue

Jeremy – 36, Firefighter
Jon – 26, Financial Assistant
Julie – 34, Owner of Spray Tan Business
Keith – 53, Fire Captain
Kelley – 28, Marketing Manager
Missy – 47, Owner of Cheerleading Gym
Natalie – 28, Crossfit Coach
Reed – 31, Broadway Performer

The Coyopa (wearing yellow)

Alec – 22, Student
Baylor – 20, Student
Dale – 55, Farmer
Jaclyn – 25, Media Buyer
Josh – 32, Actor
Wes – 23, Firefighter

The fun kicks off back at Casa de Hunahpu after Tribal, and contrary to what the preview editors would have us believe, Jon is doing some damage control. The blow up we saw last week was apparently Jon’s impersonation of Drew. Booooo…

The next morning, Alec is psyched to square off against his brother at Hero Arena.

CUT TO: Alec shocked when his brother doesn’t show up at Hero Arena.

Reward Challenge Time: No challenge, just buff droppin’.

For our new tribes we’ve got Kelley, Dale, Missy, Baylor, Jaclyn, Jon, and Keith on Coyopa. On Hunahpu we’ve got Reed, Josh, Alec, Wes, Jeremy, Julie, and Natalie.

Keith isn’t pleased to be the only person who isn’t in a pair on his tribe. But, being single was an asset last time.

Back at Hunahpu beach, Josh and Wes quickly learn that old Hunahpu hasn’t been rationing their rice. Yeah, but it’s cool because they have plenty of flint.

Jeremy doesn’t love the idea that Josh can bring Reed into his Coyopa alliance and take him out. That’s why I don’t like tribe swaps.

Later, Josh tells us that he and Reed are staying abstinent until marriage. So, Spider-Man isn’t getting any?

Over at new Coyopa, Jaclyn thinks it’s unheard of to have a loved one on your tribe. Yeah, it hasn’t happened in like less than a year.

Baylor doesn’t like watching Jon and Jaclyn get it on because she’s single. Dude, Keith’s right there.

She keeps a positive attitude though, saying she’ll get married some day and her mom will get married a fourth time. If Missy gets that fourth punch on her marriage card, the fifth husband is free.

Over at Hunahpu, Alec is encouraged because he thinks his tribe is more fit than Coyopa. Yeah, but which tribe has more divorces?

Jeremy and Natalie decide that Alec is their best bet for an alliance because he doesn’t have a loved one around.

It’s rice time over at Coyopa, and Dale is maaaaaaad about how much rice Missy is cooking. Kelley smartly takes her dad on a walk so he doesn’t follow through with his plan to march over there and smack the rice bowls out of their hands. Dale goes along, but he calls Missy a “self-centered, bossy b—h.”

It always comes down to food. Always.

Back at Hunahpu, everyone is starving. I’ve been to Nicaragua, I’ve been to where they camp. There are a billion little crabs running around out there. Instead, they plot to throw rocks at birds.

Seeing the error in that plan, they decide to negotiate with Probst again. He’s got to be loving this.

Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will dig in a pit looking for some keys. Once they have them they’ll crawl under a muddy obstacle. Then, they’ll unlock a gate and shake a basket on a pole until twenty bean bags fall out. First tribe to throw ten of those bags onto a swinging target wins immunity.

The challenge starts off and Coyopa is sloooooow. Hunahpu is at the pole shaking (grow up…) part before Coyopa even finds their keys.

Jeff Probst: “You’ve got to shake it, Coyopa!”

Hunahpu retrieves their bags and lands all ten shots before Coyopa even starts tossing.

After the win, Reed tries to make a trade with Probst for rice. He says they can discuss it tomorrow.

Seriously, they should have Julie negotiate. How could Probst say no?

Politicking at Coyopa has Keith really nervous that the couples could think he’s an easy vote. But he’s hoping the heat between Team Missy and Team Dale could keep him safe.

Dale starts working against Baylor, telling Jon and Jaclyn about how Baylor convinced the girls to vote for him early on and then stabbed them in the back.

Baylor tries to get back on Jaclyn’s good side. But Jaclyn isn’t thrilled with the way Baylor flipped to the guys during the first vote.

It seems like Keith is solid with Missy and Baylor.

That night at Tribal Council, Keith is happy to have some former teammates with him.

Jaclyn thinks it’s tough because if you vote someone out, their angry loved one will still be around.

Jon is psyched to have someone he can trust. He must also be happy to have an alliance with someone who isn’t trying to blow up the game kingpin-style.

Dale points out that Baylor turned the women against him in old Coyopa and then turned on them. He then calls Jon and Jaclyn the hottest couple in camp. Well, nobody’s debating that.

Missy wants to protect Baylor because she’s a mama bear. A mama bear who clubbed her cub in an immunity challenge.

Voting Time: No votes are shown for a second straight episode.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Baylor, one vote for Kelley, one vote for Baylor, one vote for Kelley, two votes for Dale, and the fifth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: San Juan del Sur – Blood vs. Water” is…Kelley.

Wow, I did not see that coming.

Verdict: I hate tribe swaps. Hate, hate, hate tribe swaps. In a game that’s about creating a society and alliances, it bugs me that someone who’s playing a good game can have it tossed on its ear when they’re handed a new buff.

Not only that, but it makes challenge strength a detriment when it should be an asset until the merge.

That being said, the Blood vs. Water does add a very different dynamic to the tribe swap situation. Kelley wasn’t voted out because of the swap. She was basically the new Marissa and her dad is the new Gervase.

Who’s Going to Win? Jeremy is my pick, but he’s in a bad spot over at Hunahpu. If he can’t wiggle his way out of that, I’m moving over to Josh.

Power Rankings Results: Spencer had Kelley in spot four, I had her in spot five. So, the current score is Team Spencer 36, Team Gordon 44.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Keith is voted out this week, Spencer will receive 5 points and Gordon will receive 1 point. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Spencer Bledsoe had Drew in 7th place. Gordon had him in 14th. So, the current score is Team Spencer 32, Team Gordon 39.

Spencer’s Score = 32 Any questions for Spencer? Drop him a line on Twitter: @SpencerBGM	Gordon’s Score = 39 Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
1. Josh – You can’t have a show without its narrator, right? Josh can do no wrong, and if the dark cloud of his old tribe didn’t do him in, I’m not worried about the inevitable risk in a swap.	1. Keith – I don’t know this for a fact, but I’m pretty sure “Survivor” only does tribe swaps to make Power Rankings so hard. Now, my usual rule of thumb is that the challenge threats on the tribes that are down numbers are in trouble. But, this season that person might have a loved one on their new tribe. So, I’m not going to lean on that rule as heavily as I usually do. Anywho, Keith has an idol, so he’s probably fine.
2. Jeremy – When Jeremy isn’t shouting in confessionals, he’s voting in the majority and remaining the social nucleus of his tribe. Hopefully that trend continues after this week’s shake-up.	2. Missy – I’m thinking Missy is safe this week too. She’s probably the only person on good terms with everyone from the old Hunahpu. And, I don’t think anyone is going to be worried about her going on an immunity run.
3. Natalie – Everyone’s favorite (remaining) twinnie achieved her goal of ousting the kingpin (Drew) last week, proving she has some pull. I trust Natalie’s social skills at this stage, particularly without a John Rocker to trash-talk.	3. Baylor – It’s been a rocky start for young Baylor, but she seems like she’s going to be in pretty good shape at the tribe swap. If she ends up with her people, they can vote out someone from Hunahpu. If she’s in the minority, she isn’t as much of an obvious threat as someone like Josh or Alec.
4. Kelley – The kingpin’s departure is an objectively sad affair. He entertained us with his masterful flint negotiation, timely challenge-throwing, and impeccable work ethic. One of San Juan Del Sur’s best characters will be missed. But not by Kelley. With her arch-nemesis ousted, things are looking up for Ms. Wentworth.	4. Natalie – Oh, Natalie. Remember all those people you were calling…uh…bad words during challenges? Well, some of them are probably on your tribe now. You see, unlike “The Amazing Race” sometimes “Survivor” makes you switch partners. You’d better make nice with the Coyopans quickly.
5. Keith – He’s got an idol now! We’re still waiting for Keith to do “the worst thing in ‘Survivor’ history” per the super tease at the end of the premiere, and it’s always possible he slips up and follows in the footsteps of Ole’ Johnny Rock. Still, Keith should theoretically be the author of his fate this week.	5. Kelley – I’ll never quite understand why Drew hated you so much. All I could gather from the exit interview is that he didn’t like that you and he ate the same amount of food. How dare you? Your challenge this week is; if you can save your dad, should you? Last time, loved ones were a liability.
6. Julie – Julie is like a twisted anti-Pinocchio; her lips grow every time she speaks the truth in confessionals. She’s a good narrator who just voted in the majority and could definitely be in a solid spot after the swap.	6. Julie – It was so sad to hear Jon say that Julie doesn’t have a loved one. Everyone should have a loved one.  There’s gonna be so much turmoil this episode with the meltdown at Hunahpu and the tribe swap. She’s in a prime position to let the explosions happen, then sneak in to pick up the pieces. Also, let’s not forget that she voted for Drew, so that might mean she’s in with Team Jeremy.
7. Baylor – With Alec keeping her in check and teaching her life lessons, Baylor’s days of “half-assing” it are surely over. She’s been solid week after week, and should have the finesse to get her bearings on a new tribe fast.	7. Jeremy – Jeremy knew that Drew was going to throw the challenge last week. That’s why he sat out. What was the purpose of that? So he could get rid of Keith? To give everyone a reason to hate Drew? Anywho, I’m a little worried for him this week because he has an enemy (Keith) who has a family member in an alliance that has finally experienced some success.
8. Jon – I may have Jon in the middle of the pack, but his stock is tanking fast. He was the only person to vote for Keith last week, which means he can’t have too many airtight allies, and his best bro Drew was just sent packing. Dude needs to make new friends fast.	8. Josh – Tribe swaps tend to be bad news for the leader of the losing tribe. That’s you, buddy. Add that to the fact that it’s possible you might be paired with your fit significant other, and you might have an Aras/Vytas situation where we have a duo that’s just too physically imposing to keep around.
9. Missy – I’m short Jon, but I’m long Missy. Missy made it through her first Tribal Council solidly, and her stock is only going up. Approaching the merge, it doesn’t matter much that she isn’t a challenge beast. It matters a lot that she is a social beast.	9. Reed – Reed did not vote with Team Jeremy. He voted with Keith. Does that mean we might have a firemen/Broadway alliance? Hook and Ladder and Jazz Hands?
10. Alec – This surfer bro couldn’t have found a better time to try a new beach; he looked to be slowly approaching the outside of Coyopa, so the swap could do him a lot of good.	10. Jaclyn – You’ve got the numbers now, but were you instrumental in getting them? We really haven’t see enough of you to build a full picture of how well you’re playing. Are you riding Baylor’s coattails? Have you been making friends with Josh, Wes, and Alec? I simply don’t know.
11. Reed – Reed’s another guy whose vote last week completely confuses me. To be fair, Josh once inexplicably voted for Baylor and he nonetheless emerged from the ashes. Hopefully Reed can climb himself out of a similar hole with Julie.	11. Alec – Alec is a challenge threat and he won’t have anybody except his current alliance looking out for him. Jon and Jaclyn might be on his side due to Jon’s previous bro-liance with Drew, but Jaclyn and Alec were on opposite sides for a while.
12. Wes – He’s been quiet as a mouse, and I fear that could be the calm before the storm. He had a decent thing going on Coyopa, but not a great one, and if he doesn’t land on a tribe with his idol-equipped pop, Wes could be in trouble.	12. Dale – Everybody voted with the majority during the Rocker blindside except for Rocker and Dale. So, Dale’s clearly on the outs with old Coyopa. Right now he’s got to be hoping that he can separate himself from those youngsters and the age-old swap mentality of “Get rid of the challenge stallions” takes over. Quick Aside: I’ve been trying to get the nickname “Challenge Stallion” started for myself for years. It just won’t stick.
13. Dale – Dale is probably the guy most grateful for a swap, and yet I still anticipate him walking on thin ice. He voted alone last Tribal, and to top it all off Brice Johnston dubbed him the season’s biggest “freak” recently on “Rob Has a Podcast.” If he isn’t careful his newest accolade will be “5th person voted out.”	13. Wes – Right now, Wes’s worst case scenario is that he ends up on a tribe where Jeremy’s in control.
14. Jaclyn – If I rank Jaclyn last and she stays one more time, I will eat this rock. And lose all hope that I, David, can beat Goliath – Power Ranking master Holmes. At the very least I’ll (probably) stop ranking her last.	14. Jon – Whoa…Jon was last on my depth chart of “People I Expect to Have a Post Tribal Meltdown.” But there he is, chewing out his fellow Hanahpu peeps. He’d better hope he ends up on a tribe with Jaclyn and as many of her Coyopa pals as possible.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” on Your Computer

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

“Good morning, class. Welcome to “Survivor” 101, I’m your teacher Mr. Holmes. If you’ll crack open your books to page 12 we can get started.

“Rule #1: Don’t be lazy around camp. Your tribemates will hate that and it’s an easy thing for them to bond over. While you’re napping, they’re working and hating you.

“Rule #2: If you’re going to talk smack on someone, don’t do it close enough so they can hear you. Nicaragua is a big place. Find somewhere private.

“And Rule #3: Don’t throw challenges. Your tribe is going to lose eventually. Why risk it?”

In a season marked by some bad…bad gameplay, (I’m looking at you Rocker and Val) Drew took the cake last night with the spectacular way in which he drove Hunahpu to vote him out.

I spoke to the self-professed “Kingpin” the morning after his elimination and had a chance to ask him about why he targeted Kelley, why his view of his gameplay was so different from that of his tribemates, and why he made those…um…questionable…comments…

Gordon Holmes: Was last night’s vote a blindside?
Drew Christy: I definitely saw it coming. I knew that the girls were going to go against me. I kind of blew a couple things and was definitely a little delusional with the lack of food and sleep and water. There were a lot of variables out there, but I wasn’t ready to go home that night.
Holmes: We didn’t get to see much of what was going on at Hunahpu, so who did you think was on your side?
Christy: I thought Reed was on my side. Jon…I thought Keith was on my side. I thought Jeremy and Missy were borderline. I didn’t really know about the rest of them.

Holmes: Before the game starts, everyone thinks they’re going to dominate challenges and slit throats. Then you get out there and the elements knock you for a loop.
Christy: Absolutely. It had a big effect on me physically and emotionally. Up until day five I had exactly that attitude. I was going to kick some butt and take some names. I went too hard in the beginning. You’ll see me on the 3rd episode and they’ll show me sleeping a little bit because I was so dead.
Holmes: It seems like every season someone is called out for being lazy. From my couch I’m like, “Hey, don’t be lazy.” But, that’s easy to say from my couch.
Christy: (Laughs) I think that they show you what they want you to see. They didn’t show me opening coconuts for the girls, or going to the water well, or collecting fire wood and keeping the fire going all night. Building the whole shelter with just Jon and myself. They didn’t show a lot of that stuff. But, they did like to call me out for being lazy. I think in the heat of the day in Nicaragua when it’s like 110 degrees you just want to conserve your energy and try to live.
Holmes: But Alec called you out for your work ethic back home.
Christy: I think Alec and I are always going to call each other out. It didn’t take my by surprise. At one point I guess I could’ve been looked at as the lazy guy. I was just out there making friends and having the experience of a lifetime.

Holmes: Why do you think the women were against you?
Christy: I think I was threatening to them. I think I was strong in the challenges. Socially, I had things going on for me. They saw that if I had made the merge I would’ve been teaming with Jon and Jaclyn and my brother. I think that threatened people. I definitely made some detrimental mistakes. One, throwing the challenge. And being kind of delusional and a little bit overconfident…maybe very overconfident with some of the things I said and did. You live and you learn. You’ve got to move on.

Holmes: You were referring to yourself as a “Kingpin.”
Christy: (Laughs)
Holmes: Where did that confidence in your game come from?
Christy: (Laughs) I don’t know where that word came from either.
Holmes: (Laughs) Cause it’s pretty awesome.
Christy: I have no idea. I seem to be a different person. I didn’t have anything to eat for eleven days. I was dying of thirst. I hadn’t slept for more than 30 minutes that entire time. I was losing my mind out there. And when things didn’t go the way I wanted to, I kind of lost it. They put big personalities in the game for a reason. Hopefully I was entertaining.
Holmes: Was anyone leading you to believe you were in charge?
Christy: I don’t think so. I think I’m a king in my own mind.

Holmes: At one point you referred to the women as “B—hes.” Watching that back…
Christy: I wish they would have put some other dialogue out there. Everyone had something nasty to say about everybody else. That’s just the name of the game. You say some things you might regret later. I definitely said some things I regret.
Holmes: Did you know that Kelley was nearby when you made that comment?
Christy: I really don’t remember that at all. It was almost like a blackout. I was watching it like it was a drunken night type of deal and my friend was wearing a GoPro and he said, “This is what you did. Check it out.” (Laughs)
Holmes: So, what was your reaction watching it last night?
Christy: Oh…just shaking my head. The editors are going to show you what they want you to see. I get framed as the bad guy or the dumb guy. But, I think I was pretty cool, calm, and collected until day ten or eleven until I started to lose it. It was humbling to watch myself. I think my negative qualities got a little bit amplified out there. My biggest challenge out there was myself. Jeff said it right when he said, “Drew’s biggest problem is going to be Drew.” He was pretty right on point with that.
Holmes: I’m not comfortable with you complimenting Jeff Probst during this interview.
Christy:  OK, that was the only nice thing I have to say about him. (Laughs)

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Natalie.
Christy: Underrated.
Holmes: Jeremy?
Christy: A character and emotional. Calculating.
Holmes: Keith?
Christy: A good old southern boy.
Holmes: Missy?
Christy: She’s the mom. She wants to take care of everybody and cry.
Holmes: Julie?
Christy:  “Survivor” Barbie.
Holmes: Jon?
Christy: I called him The Hulk out there. His face looks like The Hulk. And he can do any Disney character, he can sing their whole performance. He was amazing with some of the things he can do. He’s really talented.
Holmes: Reed?
Christy: A fairy. (Laughs)
Holmes: Kelley?
Christy: B—h.
Holmes: Let’s finish with Alec.
Christy: He’s the man. No, his nickname is “Squirrel.” So I would call him squirrely.

Holmes: You targeted Kelley last night. You called her a “B—h” two seconds ago. What was going on there?
Christy: We just butted heads. I was eating the same size portions of food as she was and I was mad about that. I knew that she was underplaying herself. I knew that she’d seen every episode of “Survivor” ever. I knew that she knew a lot about the game and just really wanted Jon and I out. I didn’t like her for that reason.

Holmes: For Reed you said, “Fairy.” Just so we get the intent behind that; is that an inside joke between you two?
Christy: It’s for one of his dives that he made into the water. It’s an inside joke.

Holmes: Your brother is making quite a run at it over at Coyopa. I know you two are competitive, but you’ve got to be proud of him.
Christy: Oh yeah, I’m really proud of my brother. He kind of didn’t know what he was getting himself into going on the show. He definitely has made me proud. It’s something I won’t forget doing with him. Stay tuned in and watch that little squirrel go.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: Wes bested the old, a Twinnie trolled, and Rocker was rolled…

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hunahpu (wearing blue)

Drew – 25, Sales Rep
Jeremy – 36, Firefighter
Jon – 26, Financial Assistant
Julie – 34, Owner of Spray Tan Business
Keith – 53, Fire Captain
Kelley – 28, Marketing Manager
Missy – 47, Owner of Cheerleading Gym
Natalie – 28, Crossfit Coach
Reed – 31, Broadway Performer

The Coyopa (wearing yellow)

Alec – 22, Student
Baylor – 20, Student
Dale – 55, Farmer
Jaclyn – 25, Media Buyer
Josh – 32, Actor
Wes – 23, Firefighter

Alec kicks things off after Tribal, saying it was cool to get rid of Rocker because they weren’t winning anyway. That’s what most head coaches do. Boot their biggest, strongest players. Well, Don Mattingly, at least.

The next morning at Hunahpu, Natalie finds the original flint! Drew wonders if they can trade their second flint back to Probst for the fishing gear. Yeah, Probst is known for his benevolence in these situations.

Also, some girl named Kelley said something. Is she a camera person?

Then we’re off to Hero Council…Arena…whatever. Coyopa claps when they see that Rocker is out. Julie says she’s cool with it because she didn’t love the way he played his game. Julie is smart. Rare are the “Survivor” champs who have threatened to knock someone’s teeth out.

Before the challenge starts, Drew asks if they can trade the flint for fishing gear. Probst won’t go for it because he didn’t keep the receipt.

Reward Challenge Time: Players will use grappling hooks to retrieve three bags of balls. They’ll then use a catapult to launch the balls into a series of baskets. First tribe to sink all their shots gets a choice between comfort items (pillows and blankets and whatnot) and campfire food.

Always a catapult, never a trebuchet.

It’s going to be Jon vs. Jaclyn. Dale taunts Jon telling him he throws like a girl. Ah…casual sexism.

The challenge is relatively close, with it coming down to the final basket. The drama is awesome with Jon eventually snagging the win.

Jon says that Jaclyn can take care of herself at Exile. Probst, for some reason, asks if that hurts her feelings. Uh…why would it?

Jon chooses Drew to go with her because he’s a big help when he isn’t sleeping.. So, those two have got to be in an alliance, right?

Also, Hunahpu picks the comfort items so they’ll have something to share with Drew. CAUSE HE LOVES TO SLEEP!

Back at Hunahpu, Julie says she’s glad she doesn’t have to deal with Rocker’s baggage anymore. She’s sad that everyone is anti-John Rocker. Uh…how is that new to her?

Drew thinks it sucks being on Exile because it’s so hot. Dude, you’re like 20 minutes from your beach.

He also lets us know that being a ladies’ man tends to work to his advantage. But, he’s not going to put the moves on his buddy’s girl. Meanwhile, CBS is hard at work blurring the back of Drew’s swim trunks.

He then tells Jaclyn that he’s going to throw the next challenge so they can get rid of the untrustworthy girls on his tribe. Man, rough episode for women.

We head back over to Hunahpu, where Keith is going on a little idol hunt. He digs around, but he eventually comes to the conclusion that Jeremy already has it. He tells Reed, Missy, and Natalie his theory.

CUT TO: Reed immediately ratting out Keith to Jeremy.

As you’d imagine, Jeremy is not psyched about this information.

Later on, Keith does some more digging…and finds the idol! Hilarious.

Over at Coyopa, Alec accuses Baylor of snatching the immunity challenge invitation. She says he’s acting like a woman. What’s with the sexism?! Et tu, Baylor?

Immunity Challenge Time: One person from each tribe will swim out, race up a platform, then dive into the water to retrieve rings. Once all four rings are back to the starting point, it’s a game of ring toss. Winner gets immunity, loser goes to Tribal.

Also, Jeff is wearing a black shirt.  Never plaid. Never paisley.

Kelley, Jon, and Jeremy will sit for Hunahpu.

The challenge starts off and it’s all swimmin’ and hoop ranglin’. Baylor give Coyopa a bit of a lead over her mother, but Reed is faster than Jaclyn.

Alec makes up a lot of time against Natalie and retakes the lead. Then Wes easily manages to maintain the lead over his father.

Our ring tossers will be Dale and Drew.

Drew is taking his sweet time. It isn’t subtle. Meanwhile, Dale manages to sink all four shots to win immunity for Coyopa.

When it’s all over, Drew tells us he did it because he’s the kingpin of Hunahpu. Oh man, can’t wait to talk to him tomorrow when he’s eliminated.

He also doesn’t care if they know he threw it because he’s a bada–. Yes, throwing challenges without telling people always goes over well.

Back at camp, Jon, Reed, Keith, and Missy are discussing getting rid of Julie. No! As in, no!

Drew doesn’t think there’s a reason to get rid of Julie. He thinks the most dangerous person is Kelley. Who?!

Jeremy says that he wants to go for Keith and everyone should have his back. Drew disagrees because Kelley is a mastermind. Kelley is a mastermind! Drew is a kingpin! Is it opposite day? Did the luxury item include meth?

Natalie thinks it’s stupid that Drew is afraid of the girls because they don’t have the numbers. Yup. OK, there’s some common sense. It’s not opposite day.

Missy and Natalie both want to target Drew.

Later, Drew says he wants to get rid of Kelley so “All of these b—-es don’t know what to do other than come to us.” Oy. So dumb. Also dumb is the fact that Kelley was close enough to hear it.

Drew then tells Missy that he doesn’t trust her enough to vote the way he wants her too.

In other news; Drew’s audition tape for “Heroes vs. Villains 2” is epic.

That night at Tribal Council, fire does this thing where it represents life. It’s kind of a ritual.

Julie thinks that Jon and Drew are BFFs. Jon might want to distance himself from that comment in the near future.

Drew believes they could have had better retrievers during the challenge. Oh, he can’t hit the ring toss post, but he can throw things right under the bus.

Jeremy calls out Keith for saying he has the idol. He thinks that’s crazy because they’re aligned. Well, now everyone knows they’re aligned.

Keith thinks Jeremy would target him if he had an idol. Jeremy says he wouldn’t target an alliance member with an idol. Um…Josh totally did.

Drew says he’s heard Keith’s name and Julie’s name at camp.

Kelley thinks they need to get rid of bad energy. She also noticed that Drew isn’t talking strategy with her.

Jon doesn’t know what’s going on. Yeah, file that under “Not Shocking.”

Voting Time: No votes are shown!

J-Pro tallies, returns, and smirks. We’ve got one vote for Julie, one vote for Kelley, one vote for Drew, one vote for Keith, one vote for Julie, two votes for Drew, and the fourth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: San Juan del Sur – Blood vs. Water” is…Drew.

No! Who will be king of the pins! (Or is “King Pinned” better?)

Verdict: Wow…Drew threw a challenge, four people got votes, and the main alliance is in turmoil. Hunahpu should go to Tribal more often!

Who’s Going to Win? If Jeremy can bring in Julie as his new fifth, he should be fine. However, tribe swaps always seem to ruin good games.

Power Rankings Results: Spencer Bledsoe had Drew in 7th place. I had him in 14th. So, the current score is Team Spencer 32, Team Gordon 39.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: Missy’s killer instinct started to waver, Jeremy asked Johnny Rock for a favor, and Val’s 34 pretend idols couldn’t save her.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hunahpu (wearing blue)

Drew – 25, Sales Rep
Jeremy – 36, Firefighter
Jon – 26, Financial Assistant
Julie – 34, Owner of Spray Tan Business
Keith – 53, Fire Captain
Kelley – 28, Marketing Manager
Missy – 47, Owner of Cheerleading Gym
Natalie – 28, Crossfit Coach
Reed – 31, Broadway Performer

The Coyopa (wearing yellow)

Alec – 22, Student
Baylor – 20, Student
Dale – 55, Farmer
Jaclyn – 25, Media Buyer
John – 39, Former MLB Pitcher
Josh – 32, Actor
Wes – 23, Firefighter

We start off back at camp where everyone is shocked…SHOCKED that Val didn’t have a six-pack of idols. There’s only one cop that was ever able to pull off that trick, and he talked like a llama.

Baylor realizes that maybe she shouldn’t be so quick to trust the dude who keeps voting for her. Makes sense.

Later, Josh tells us that he realized that Val and Jaclyn were going to vote for Baylor and that they got that idea from Johnny Rock.

The next morning, Drew is leading the charge to fix the Hunahpu roof. Well, he leads it in that it’s his idea. Rather than join in the frond weaving, he decides to take a nap.

Keith does not approve of such laziness. He says that he’d like to whoop Drew like he whoops Wes. Aww…that’s something for him and Missy to bond over.

Natalie gives Drew grief over his nap time, but he claims to have other talents. HE DOES! Didn’t you see those pushups?

Anywho, this bums Jeremy out because he was hoping to drag Drew to the end as a goat.

Quick Aside: “Survivor” 101 says, “If someone is accusing you of being lazy…stop being lazy.” Drew’s bad at this.

Next up, we’re off to Hero Stadium (Home of the Fightin’ San Juan del Sur Heroes). Jeremy is not happy to see that Val is gone. He rightly assumes that there’s a bro-liance over at Boyopa.

Rocker apologizes to Jeremy and admits that he tried to save Val. This is news to Josh.

Reward Challenge Time: Players will race across a beam and use a paddle to move squares to the other end. First person to stack six squares wins a tarp, a hammock, and pillows or fishing gear.

They rock-paper-scissors and Boyopa finally wins something. Wes decides to take on his dad. I smell a whoopin’ comin’!

Not much to describe here except for some balancin’ and paddle handlin’. It’s relatively even (no pun intended) until Keith drops one of his squares. Wes pulls ahead and wins it.

When it’s over, Wes and Keith get emotional, being all proud of each other. They hug it out.

Wes picks Josh to go to Exile with his father. Smart move. Maybe these two can finally get a cross-tribe alliance going.

Coyopa decides to take the fishing gear. As Rocker gathers it, he whispers to Jeremy that he did everything he could. Jeremy doesn’t buy it.

Gah…stop making me feel kind of bad for John Rocker.

Back at Hunahpu, Jeremy tells everyone about John Rocker’s history. Natalie doesn’t think Rocker would even care if they voted Julie out.

Missy comforts Julie, but Julie knows that John just put a major target on her back. Which is a shame, because she was doing well.

Over at Exile, Keith and Josh agree to share the clues. Keith says that he needs to get to the idol before Jeremy gets in his way. Aren’t they in an alliance?

Josh and Keith bond, but Keith assures us that there won’t be any spooning. Well yeah, Josh is in a relationship.

That night, Baylor is working hard to get Alec and Wes to partner with her and Jaclyn. It doesn’t seem to work though, they brush her off with the classic, “Let’s wait and see what happens at the challenge.”

Immunity Challenge Time: A pair from each tribe will race through an obstacle course to recover a ball. They’ll then try to shoot it into a basket. First tribe to do this three times wins immunity.

Keith will sit for Hunahpu, Dale will sit for Coyopa.

Round 1: Jon and Natalie beat Baylor and Josh. But, at least Josh managed to not vote for Baylor during the race.

Round 2: Wes and Alec defeated Missy and Julie in super-quick fashion.

Round 3: John and Jaclyn got the best of Drew and Reed.

Round 4: Jeremy and Kelley topped Baylor and Josh. Rocker tried to distract Jeremy with the classic “Caddyshack” chant, but it didn’t work.

Round 5: Jon and Natalie won the challenge by hitting the final shot against Alec and Wes.

After the challenge, Natalie starts yelling at Rocker. She accuses Coyopa of following a racist.

It then blows up with Natalie accusing him of saying racist and homophobic comments and that Coyopa should vote him out.

Quick Aside: Remember when Rudy said homophobic things and America thought it was adorable?

Dale says that Rocker is their tribe member and they have his back.

Rocker then tells Natalie that he’d knock her out if she was a guy. This does not make the situation better.

I’m assuming Rocker is probably just angling for one of those Brandon Hantz/Jeff Probst back rubs.

Back at Casa de Coyopa, Baylor wants to get rid of Rocker because she’s shocked that a professional athlete could be a bad sportsman. Well, this was filmed before the recent NFL awfulness.

Rocker doesn’t think he’s a homophobe because his closest ally is a gay man.

Later, Johnny Rock pitches getting rid of Dale to Baylor and Jaclyn because Dale’s a challenge liability. However, he’s really gunning for Baylor.

Josh and the other guys seem on board with it. Then Rocker tells Josh that if it doesn’t go his way, he has an idol…which is also news to Josh.

Rocker’s strategy is like blowing out a candle with shotgun.

Wes and Josh contemplate getting rid of Rocker. They bring Baylor in on their plan. Wes pitches this idea to Alec, but he thinks Rocker is too much of a physical asset.

That night at Tribal Council, John admits that he was trying to protect Val, but she lied to him.

Wes isn’t psyched that a member of his alliance was making side deals.

Jaclyn thinks she’ll have a target on her back at the merge because she’s on Rocker’s side. She then says that the guys might not be solid anymore.

Wes thinks his alliance is going to stick to their game plan.

Baylor thinks they need to get rid of the dark cloud that’s over their tribe. Aww…like Eeyore.

Voting Time: Rocker votes for Baylor, Baylor votes for Rocker, and the rest might be shown during the credits.

J-Pro tallies and returns and looks darn good doing it. We’ve got one vote Baylor, one vote Rocker, one vote Baylor, two votes Rocker, and the third person to be eliminated from “Survivor: San Juan del Sur – Blood vs. Water” is…Rocker!

Fun Fact: Jimmy Johnson went out in the third episode too.

Verdict: I’m not sure if that was the smartest move, but Rocker proved he couldn’t be trusted and that he had a big mouth. That being said, I doubt that move is going to help Coyopa in challenges.

Also, poor Dale…he voted with Rocker.

As far as the season goes, I’m ready to learn more about Hunahpu. Get them to Tribal!

Who’s Going to Win? The way Keith was talking about Jeremy has me a little nervous, but Jeremy is still my guy.

Power Rankings Results: Spencer and I both had Rocker in nine. So, the current score is Team Spencer 25, Team Gordon 24.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.

'Survivor: San Juan del Sur' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to go for “Survivor: San Juan del Sur” coverage with “all the fixin’s.” We’ll have Power Rankings with “Cagayan” fave Spencer Bledsoe, every Wednesday evening we’ll bring you a recap of the most recent episode, and every Thursday you’ll be able to watch the previous night’s episode and read an interview with the eliminated contestant. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6034085997813089112″ program_type=”series”]

Last Week: A flint was misplaced, challenges were faced, and an “Amazing Racer” was erased.

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Hunahpu (wearing blue)

Drew – 25, Sales Rep
Jeremy – 36, Firefighter
Jon – 26, Financial Assistant
Julie – 34, Owner of Spray Tan Business
Keith – 53, Fire Captain
Kelley – 28, Marketing Manager
Missy – 47, Owner of Cheerleading Gym
Natalie – 28, Crossfit Coach
Reed – 31, Broadway Performer

The Coyopa (wearing yellow)

Alec – 22, Student
Baylor – 20, Student
Dale – 55, Farmer
Jaclyn – 25, Media Buyer
John – 39, Former MLB Pitcher
Josh – 32, Actor
Val – 35, Police Officer
Wes – 23, Firefighter

The fun kicks off after Tribal Council, where Josh admits to voting for Baylor. He claims to have done it so people won’t think that they’re buddies. She’s not thrilled about it. He couldn’t have told her before?

The next morning at Hunahpu beach, Reed shows off his stretching skills, Jon shows off his weight-lifting skills, and Drew shows off his pushup skills. Oh man, if I was there with an air hockey table, I could show them a thing or too.

Meanwhile, Julie notices that the flint is missing. Kelley lets us know that that is not good. Also, water is wet and the right side of Ariana Grande’s face is hideous.

Jon admits to losing the flint, because “Survivor” is a game that respects honesty. Has he seen this show?

He then asks if you need the flint to start fire. Oh man, one more and he’ll complete the stupidity hat trick.

Next up, the tribes meet at the “Hero Arena.” Is that where they hang out with Ozzie Smith? Cause he’s my hero. Natalie sees that Nadiya is gone and she isn’t pleased. Apparently it’s the first time she’s truly been without her sister. She breaks down and cries.

Reward Challenge Time: One person from each tribe will balance a ball on a disc and then move it through a series of obstacles. Then they’ll roll three balls into a series of targets. First person to hit all three targets wins. The winner gets fishing gear, the loser gets an all-expense-paid trip to Exile (not an) Island.

Rocker wins rock/paper/scissors and gets to pick who gets to compete, he decides to do it himself against Julie.

John almost gets through the obstacles, but he loses the ball. Julie gets through first. She hits all three of the targets before Rocker even completes the obstacles.

Rocker isn’t happy that he lost to a girl. I’m gonna leave that one alone.

Julie decides to send Jeremy to Exile with John. So, the quasi-leaders of the two alliances will be there together…

Before Hunahpu heads back to camp, Reed offers to trade Probst the tribe’s beans for flint. Probst doesn’t go for it, he wants the fishing gear…because he’s hilarious. Make them name their first-born children “Hunahpu!”

They discuss Probst’s offer and decide to give up the fishing gear. Oh man, you know he loved that. Here’s hoping Jon doesn’t trade the flint for some magic beans.

Later at Coyopa, Alec and Dale discuss Rocker’s “Sports Illustrated” comments. Josh is happy to have Rocker on his team because he’s probably going to upset people. Josh gets it.

Over at Exile, Jeremy and Rocker smash their urns. Rocker gets nothing, Jeremy gets the clue.

Jeremy also knows who Rocker really is. He isn’t thrilled to partner with someone who he remembers made racist statements, but he does want to protect his wife. He shares the clue with John and pitches the idea of John protecting Val while Jeremy protects Julie. See, that’s how you properly use time with the opposing tribe.

Immunity Challenge Time: A player from each team will stand on a platform and try to knock the other person off. First tribe to do this five times win immunity.

Julie will sit out for Hunahblue.

Round One: Jaclyn beats Kelley. (They’re not the same person?!)

Round Two: Drew gets the best of his little brother Alec. Then he gives him a wedgie. (Not really.)

Round Three: Wes destroys Jeremy.

Round Four: Natalie goes over Val.

Round Five: Rocker and Jon have an epic battle! Amazingly, Jon was able to pull off the win. He dropped him like the only means his tribe has of starting fire.

Round Six: Missy and Baylor got off to a bad start when Baylor was popped right in the face. Baylor regrouped though and defeated her mother. I wouldn’t be too hard on Missy, though. She was just being aggressive. B-E-ing aggressive.

Round Seven: Reed bested Josh.

Round Eight: In a battle of the elders, Dale dumped Keith in the drink.

Round Nine: In a rematch, Kelley got revenge on Jaclyn to give Hunahpu they’re 30th straight victory.

Back at Coyopa Beach, everyone is mega bummed. Dale is very proud of Kelley for her performance, but isn’t psyched that it went against his tribe.

Val tells Rocker that she has two idols and that she’s going to save herself and Jaclyn. Heck, why not tell him that you’re magic.

Later, “Johnny Rock” starts digging around and…finds himself an idol. Meanwhile, the Internet is livid.

Rocker and Josh discuss strategy. They’re going to tell Val that they’re sending three votes her way and three votes Baylor’s way. Rocker passes this info on to Val, and also tells her that he made a deal with Jeremy.

That night at Tribal Council, Josh makes a Broadway/”Survivor” comparison that probably went over most people’s heads.

Val thinks Baylor is trying to play both sides of the camp.

Baylor tells everyone that Val was behind the failed female alliance.

Jaclyn is annoyed that Baylor flipped on the girls.

Val tells Baylor to own her deceit.

Everyone has heard that Val has two idols. Wes wants to vote for her to flush one out.

Voting Time: Baylor votes for Val, Rocker votes for Baylor, Wes votes for Val, Val votes for Baylor, and the rest aren’t shown.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Val, one vote for Baylor, one vote for Val, one vote for Baylor, one vote for Val, two votes for Baylor, and one vote for Val. A tie!

Voting Time Part Deux: Rocker votes for Val (and he isn’t happy about breaking his deal with Jeremy) and the rest will be played over the credits. Don’t worry.

J-Pro tallies and returns yet again. We’ve got one vote for Baylor, three votes for Val, and the second person to be eliminated from “Survivor: San Juan del Sur – Blood vs. Water” is…Val.

Oh man, now Jeremy is really gonna think Rocker is racist!

Verdict: Val really blew it when she went to Exile. She could have partnered up with Wes based on her time with Keith. Instead, she’s a goner. I had high hopes for her too.

My question is; why didn’t the Boyopa alliance target Jaclyn instead of Val? The idol lie?

As for the episode, things are going quite nicely. Looks like we’re in for some fireworks next week too.

Who’s Going to Win? Jeremy’s got the only idol clue on Hunahpu, he has the numbers, and he doesn’t have to protect Val anymore. He’s my winner.

Power Rankings Results: Spencer had Val in spot sixteen. I had her in fifteen. So, the current score is Team Spencer 16, Team Gordon 15.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter at @gordonholmes.