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‘Survivor’ Castaway Jeff: ‘(Andrew) and Tasha Were the Rats’

October 15, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Yeah, I know. I picked Jeff Varner to win and I cursed him. Happens every season.

But this time, I’m not going to apologize and feel bad because there’s nothing to be sad about. Jeff Varner played a hell of a game in his short time out there.

I spoke to my latest curse victim the morning after his elimination and asked him about his shaky alliance with Abi, the post-challenge meltdown, and the conference call that started it all…

Gordon Holmes: I’m not apologizing today, Jeff.
Jeff Varner: (Laughs)
Holmes: This is not a sad occasion. You played the (expletive deleted) out of this game. I hope you are proud.
Varner: Oh, I’m very proud. I was relieved when it all happened. When I got out of that. But once I got back to Ponderosa I was thinking about the millions of people who voted for me. And did I let them down? I have lived with that for a while. But seeing the show and seeing what I did and how I did it? I’m very proud of myself. I think I delivered. I hope I gave them all a reason to vote for me again if I get the chance.
Holmes: I remember thinking; who’s really going to remember Jeff? He’s a funny guy and played well, but that was on a season 15 years ago that had a ton of big names. But you are “Survivor” royalty in my book now.
Varner: (Laughs) Well, thank you. I don’t feel that, but I am proud of my performance.

Holmes: In our pre-game interview, you talked about this mythical conference call. Now that it’s all said and done, please tell me exactly what went down there.
Varner: We just got together and chatted it up. I approached Shane. Shane had Terry prepared. But Shane didn’t know that Terry and I were already together. (Laughs) And then I brought Wigles in. And it was a good little foursome. This is what we’re going to do and we’re not going to talk anymore.  And here’s who we go for first, and here’s who we try to avoid. And each of you go and find somebody on the side. We’ll get them all together and we’ll have a nice little group. And then Shane didn’t get in and it all blew apart. The second we landed on that island, Terry and Kelly were not playing a game. It was flying by them and I had to make a choice.
Holmes: That choice was to side with Shirin and Spencer for that one vote. I remember talking to Probst afterwards and saying, “Why would you throw away this pre-game alliance so quickly? Is this a ploy to throw people off of their scent? Is Jeff Varner a super genius?”
Varner: I was very committed to Terry and Kelly through that entire experience. Even right down to the meltdown in episode three that got me into trouble. I was still giving information to Kelly. And when they weren’t playing, I had to come up with a way to shock them. And that’s what I did. Vytas had stepped into this whole alliance and was taking the place of Shane and I didn’t like it. I felt like he was hijacking my alliance. And he was throwing my name out there as someone to vote out. I was like, “You’re supposed to be with me. What’s going on here?” It was easy to vote for Vytas even though I love him. But that vote was to wake Kelly and Terry up, because I knew in episode two I was going to go back to them. The whole plan from the beginning was to get rid of Spencer. It was easier for me to convince Terry and Wigles to go for Spencer on morning four than it was in the beginning. Because Spencer was playing them. I had him gone. All day long I had the numbers and Spencer was gone. And then Shirin got wind of it and kicked into, “Let’s get rid of Jeff.” So, she left me with another choice.

Holmes: You were buddies with Kelley Wentworth before the game, but we never saw the two of you together. Could you have pulled her into that first vote to keep the numbers and boot Spencer?
Varner: She wasn’t having it. Terry’s social game was so bad those first three days. He pissed off all the women. Terry was in trouble. Shirin was targeting Terry first. Wentworth and I were talking a lot. We had everything together. Had she and I lasted longer we would have been really dangerous together. Kelley was that person on the side that we decided as a foursome to go get. She didn’t know about my foursome and I didn’t tell them about her. I was keeping it close to my vest.
Holmes: What was Terry doing to upset the women?
Varner: There was one time Abi was reading the first immunity challenge clue and her English is a little broken. So, she was struggling and jumping and Terry grabbed the paper and said, “Let somebody who speaks English read it.” And all of the sudden all of the eyes swing around to Terry. And Shirin is pissed and Wentworth is pissed. Then Terry goes to Peih-Gee and says, “You can be our number seven.” He offered her this really horrible deal. Things that you’d think a seasoned “Survivor” player wouldn’t do, Terry did.

Holmes: What was aligning with Abi like?
Varner: Odd. (Laughs)
Holmes: (Laughs)
Varner: I was looking for a shield and she offered it up. She’s so entertaining. I’d catch myself sitting back and watching Abi play. It was like I was watching TV. She’s crazy. Just out of control. Very emotional. But sweet and loyal to some extent. Abi’s always going to do what’s best for Abi. She’ll stick with you as long as possible.  I love Abi. Others don’t, but I do.
Holmes: I think it’s interesting you use the word “loyal” when based on her time in both the Philippines and Cambodia, she’s seems to have turned against the majority of her alliances.
Varner: Well, that’s true. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. She’s hard to put into words. And at Angkor she had her choice of Andrew and Tasha who were promising her the world and a connection to the other side. And she had Woo and Peih-Gee who had voted against her and had fought with her. She did what she had to do. When I say loyal I mean she communicated with me throughout the whole thing. She told me what she was going to do. I’m going with Tasha and Andrew, you come along with me. I pretended to for a while, but it exploded.

Holmes: “Survivor” challenges are no joke, the Cambodian heat is no joke. Put me in your shoes during the post-challenge meltdown.
Varner: And don’t forget, no food at Angkor and no shelter. And Tasha being so nasty. I just want to say she’s coming across on TV so much nicer than that bitch is in person. I love her and my heart goes out to her in many ways. When we landed at Angkor we had the numbers.  When we chose our buffs in our little boxes, Kimmi dropped her box at my foot. And I dropped mine. We reached down to pick them up and she whispered, “ Don’t trust Andrew, he can’t keep his mouth shut.”
Holmes: Wow.
Varner: So, when we got to Angkor I went straight to Andrew and said, “What’s going on over there? Who’s working with who? Because I want to work with you guys.” And he spilled all the beans. He and Tasha were the rats, quite frankly. They let all of the secrets of Bayon out. I knew who was aligned with whom. Who was on the bottom. Who was the next to go. And, when we as a foursome were going to vote out Tasha next because she was so nasty out there. I don’t know why the editing is not showing that, but she was so nasty. The plan was to vote out Tasha, and for me to deliver this speech about everything going on at Bayon. I was going to lay it all out there. Who’s on the top, who’s on the bottom. Here’s how you can get rid of those people. And Abi flipped to Tasha. That changed everything. So, I’m going into that challenge, tired, hungry, worn out. This speech is brewing in the back of my head and I have to kiss Tasha and Andrew’s ass for a minute. And when I saw an opportunity to tell Wigles everything I knew, I did. I’m very loyal to her. I almost played a Blood vs. Water game with her. But that’s when Tasha pops up. “We’ve got a rat.” And that made me so mad. I looked at her and said, “Bitch, you want to see a rat? I’ll show you a rat.”
Holmes: (Laughs)
Varner: I rattled off everything I knew. It’s not in the show, I think because the show hasn’t revealed the Bayon alliances yet. But that’s what that moment was about. And when we went back to camp, they made it look like I went to sleep, I busted my butt. I got no votes with my work. I wish they’d shown that.

Holmes: “Nasty” is a pretty strong adjective. What was Tasha doing out there?
Varner: It started at Ponderosa before the game even started. I was a massive Tasha fan in Cagayan…
Holmes: Is this the hammock thing again?
Varner: (Laughs) It’s the hammock thing!
Holmes: (Laughs)
Varner: It’s the couch thing, it’s the attitude, the nose in the air, the dirty looks. She was going for the jugular. And when we get to Angkor she was so sweet to everybody. But she looked at me and she’s a bitch. She’s just hateful and closed off. The more I tried to be nice to her the harder she got. She’d wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, everybody.” Then she’d look at me and be like, “Are you looking for an idol!” I got nothing from her. Everywhere I went she was right on my heels. But you know, Gordon…I love her. I love everybody. I’m not bitter at all. But, I have a problem with anybody who plays “Survivor” with God as a tool. To me, God does not like “Survivor.” Read the Bible and everything that “Survivor” is about, He’s not happy with that. To come in and use him as a tool. To go in the corner and pray and then come back to the beach and throw f-bombs everywhere? And then talk about how your church family said it’s OK, so you’re going to go do it? Own your own game. Have the balls to play your own game. Don’t say you’re going to be evil all day long because you can pray at night. Romans 6 in the Bible is very clear about abusing God’s grace. Because it’s not OK. To me it’s not OK. When I saw her playing that whole card, I had a major issue with it. And she said that God for whatever reason had decided that she’s going to be 40 and single and childless…and she just had to embrace that. I wanted to say to her, “You are 40 and single and childless because of you and your choices.” She’s just a very hard, stern, closed off person  and she’s created that life for herself. She shouldn’t blame that stuff on God. It’s her fault. I love God. I own my game, own yours.

Holmes: We do a word association here…
Varner: I know, and I hate that. I’m not prepared.
Holmes: You’re not supposed to be!
Varner: (Laughs)
Holmes: Don’t listen to Shirin! I’ll give you a name, give me the first couple of words you think of. We can start with Terry.
Varner: Captain America. Everybody’s dad. Love him.
Holmes: Peih-Gee?
Varner: Gangster. She smuggled flint and fishing wire. She’s awesome. She’s a drag-queen gangster.
Holmes: Woo?
Varner: Clueless. Beautiful human specimen. But does not get the game of “Survivor.”
Holmes: Savage?
Varner: Narcissist, arrogant, drinks his own Kool-Aid. Tries to make you think he’s Terry Deitz. Terry is everything Savage is not. And the editing is showing Andrew as some great man, but that’s not my memory.
Holmes: Shirin?
Varner: Sharp, quick, very smart. So much fun. Brilliant.
Holmes: Word association cheater.
Varner: (Laughs) I want you to know. On our trip to Vietnam, Shirin was working on her word association. That’s how much of an impact you had on her. She had a notebook and was thinking of “Game of Thrones” people. I’m so happy she made me the Queen of Thorns.
Holmes: Defeats the purpose! OK, Spencer?
Varner: Smart. Odd. He’s too smart for his own good. I thought for a while that he might be autistic. Like brilliantly autistic. He’s not in touch with his emotions. One of my proudest moments was when I voted out Shirin and made Spencer cry.
Holmes: Wentworth?
Varner: (Laughs) Sneaky, sneaky. I love her. She’s got a dirty sense of humor.
Holmes: Wiglesworth?
Varner: Motherly. Took care of everybody. Not really playing the game.
Holmes: Vytas?
Varner: Not creepy at all. I love Vytas. There’s a sexiness to Vytas that’s hard to explain.
Holmes: Tasha?
Varner: Misguided. Sad soul. Lots of growing to do. I hope her behavior in the game is so horrendous that God finds a way to tell her, “I don’t like that, change it.”
Holmes: And Abi?
Varner: She is the Tasmanian devil who cries and throws fits and hugs you and tells you she loves you. Abi is everything. She’s so paranoid and delusional and so much fun. I could sit and study Abi all day.

Holmes: You were amazing out there.
Varner: I appreciate that. And if there’s any point I want to hammer home it’s that millions of people voted me in there and I played my butt off for them. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity. I love my cast, I love the people who voted me in, and I love the show.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Second Chance’ Episode 4 Recap: Savage Environment

October 14, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Last Week: Varner spilled his M.O., Abi got P.O.’d, and Peih-Gee was K.O.’d

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog…

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Angkor Tribe (wearing yellow)
Abi – Philippines
Andrew – Pearl Islands
Jeff – The Australian Outback
Tasha – Cagayan
Woo – Cagayan

The Bayon Tribe (wearing pink)
Jeremy – San Juan del Sur
Kelly W. – Borneo
Kimmi – The Australian Outback
Monica – Samoa
Spencer – Cagayan
Stephen – Tocantins

The Ta Keo Tribe (wearing teal)
Ciera – Blood vs. Water
Joe – Worlds Apart
Kass – Cagayan
Keith – San Juan del Sur
Kelley W. – San Juan del Sur
Terry – Panama

Tonight’s fun kicks off after Tribal and Jeff can’t believe he’s still there. You and me both, buddy.

He tells Savage and Tasha that he’s always been loyal to Abi. Yeah, some people are loyal to their cigarette brands, and it doesn’t work out for them in the long run either.

Later, Tasha tells Woo that it should have been Varner that went home due to his rat-like activities after the challenge. She tells Woo that he isn’t going anywhere…which Abi takes issue with.

Abi then calls  Tasha out in front of everyone, saying that she doesn’t like her partnering up with someone who just voted for her. Here we go…

You know, people say Abi is erratic, but she always does the same thing…which is make people regret aligning with her.

The next morning at Bayon, Jeremy shows us his idol and it looks like an actual idol. Not a stick or a crayon or Barbie doll with one closed eye and missing hair. When Stephen asks if he has the idol, Jeremy says he hasn’t found it yet.

Reward Challenge Time: One player from each tribe will race out into the water and retrieve a sand bag. They’ll then try to teeter-totter the bag into a net. First person to score three bags gets a cookout. The second person gets some kitchen implements.

Hey, I remember reward challenges!

We’re going to have Savage going for Angkor, Jeremy for Bayon, and Terry for Ta Keo.

Leaving Joe on the bench?! Blasphemy!

We start off and Terry jumps out to an early lead due to his awesome teeter-totter skills. Savage manages to catch up on the second round.

Quick Aside: The trips to get the bags must be grueling. These guys look beat.

It comes down to Deitz and Savage with Andrew managing to pull out the win. Deitz claims second shortly after.

Back at Casa de Angkor, Andrew is truly a real American hero. Forget, Snake Eyes and Shipwreck.

They chow down on their dinner and craft their own Angkor chant. The food and merriment keep Abi from killing anyone’s face to death.

At Ta Keo, Kass admits that she was probably on the top of most people’s elimination lists coming in. But, she’s turned over a new leaf and is using self-help methods. Good for her. Strategically she has always been sound, it was her social game that needed work.

Kelley catches Kass playing arts and crafts on the beach and Kass shoos her away. Kelley thinks Kass was making a fake idol, but really she was making Kelley a birthday gift. Wha-huh? Shiny new Kass! Charismatic Kass?

That was seriously like in “Mortal Kombat” where you expect Sub-Zero to pull your spine out and instead he gives you a little doll of himself as a “Friendship.”

…that joke wasn’t for everyone.

At Bayon, Spencer starts the process of throwing Kelly under the bus. He tells the classic Bayonians that she’s close with Terry and Woo.

Monica doesn’t buy it though. Which is interesting, because I had forgot she was on this season.

Immunity Challenge Time:  Blindfolded players will stumble across a field looking for heavy puzzle pieces. A caller from each tribe will try to send them in the right directions. Once they have all of their pieces they’ll try to build a giant cube. The first two tribes to complete the puzzle will win immunity.

Fun Fact: Those puzzle pieces have been cursed to hit people in their most vulnerable parts.

Monica and Ciera will sit for their respective tribes.

Our callers are Jeff for Angkor, Kimmi for Bayon, and Kass for Ta Keo.

We start off and it’s pretty even. But Kass seems to be having trouble communicating. She’s screaming at Keith, but he can’t quite hear her.

Then the injuries happen. Pieces in the face, in the leg, in the crotch…they should play “Wacky Sax” over the montage.

Angkor gets all of their pieces back first, but all three teams are pretty close.

Bayon manages to fly through the puzzle and win it. And Angkor…is…just…drained. It’s like they’re not even trying. Ta Keo takes second place.

That was weird.

When it’s over, Savage admits that he had nothing left and has never experienced anything like it before. He is zonked. They’re all zonked. I think it’s obvious at this point that the twist of having a tribe that has nothing is simply too much of a disadvantage.

At camp, Tasha is debating aligning with Abi because she’s…you know…Abi. She wants to target Jeff because he could win Abi back.

Woo takes Abi aside and tells her that he’s worried that they’re losing all the old Ta Keons. He wants to target Varner, but Abi is still stuck on that whole him-voting-for-her-twice thing.

She asks Woo to put himself in her shoes. Don’t do it, Woo. She’ll accuse you of stealing them.

Later, Jeff tells Abi that he misses their buddy/buddy time. This actually seems to sway Abi a bit.

Oh man.

That night at Tribal, some flying insect scares the crap out of everyone. I swear, production must have an animal wrangler there to mess with the players.

Woo knows it’s between him and Varner. Abi agrees, but she doesn’t know who she should vote for.

Savage doesn’t think Varner is good at challenges, but he doesn’t want to face Woo at the merge.

Woo argues that the merge isn’t for a while. Savage, always expecting a terrible twist, says that they don’t know that.

Varner points out that he was loyal at the last Tribal Council. He then tells Tasha that they haven’t been talking, but he’ll stay loyal. He then pledges total loyalty to Abi.

Woo parries by saying that Varner has relationships with all of the classic Ta Keons.

Voting Time: Woo votes for Jeff, Jeff votes for Woo, and the rest are secret.

JPro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Woo, two votes for Jeff, and the fourth person voted out of “Survivor: Second Chance” is…Jeff.

Aaaand…my curse is intact. Sorry, Varner.

Verdict: Jeff just played too hard and too fast and too high profile and too going to Tribal every stinking week. Man…I’m going to miss him.

That being said, making a new tribe start from scratch is just too much. I’ve never seen a tribe just stop during a challenge.

Who’s Going to Win? Gotta be Abi, right? Just kidding. Is there room on the Team Kelley bandwagon?

Power Rankings Results: Jenn and I called it this week. We both had Varner in spot seventeen. Max had him in fifteen. So, the current score is Team Jenn 48, Team Max 44, Team Gordon 36.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 3: Did Varner Made Abi-g Mistake? Edition

October 14, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Woo is voted out this week, Jenn and Max will each receive sixteen points and Gordon will receive fourteen points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Peih-Gee in spot fourteen, Max had her in spot sixteen, and Gordon had her in (yikes…) spot four. The current score is Team Jenn 31, Team Max 29, and Team Gordon 19.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 31

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 29

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 19

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
 1. Jeremy: Dude has an idol and is on a strong tribe. He’s making bonds with Spencer, he’s a likable guy. I think he’s gonna be around for a while. That idol grab was incredible. So sneaky. I like him.
   1. Jeremy: Jeremy marshalls the troops. Jeremy makes Joe his own personal meat shield. Jeremy bonds with his tribemates over Andrew’s meet cute story yet manages to conceal that the love of his life is pregnant with their third child. Jeremy forges ties with the lad who bested him for the title of Mr. Survivor. Jeremy looks like a boss while snagging nuBayon’s idol at the immunity challenge. You read Gordon Holmes. You’re a fan of this show. You do the math.
  1. Jeremy: Those San Juan del Surians are good at scooping up those immunity idols, aren’t they? So, he’s got the numbers on his sub-tribe.  And, his old Bayon buds are in power on their tribes. It’s looking more and more like the baby Val’s carrying is going to have his or her education paid for by CBS.
  2. Kelley: She also has an idol and is on a tribe that cannot lose. Her tribe is safe. The only reason she isn’t #1 is because I haven’t seen her really making strong alliances with people here.
  2. Kelley: Kelley Wentworth is proving that she is as good at playing “Survivor” as she is about retweeting every mention of her name. In addition, she gives amazing .GIF. Is anyone else getting excited about the prospect of her throwing Terry under the bus?
  2. Kelley: While Terry is banking on the new Ta Keo never losing a challenge, Kelley is taking a much more realistic approach. With her voting with the former Bayonians, they’ll have no problem splitting the vote to keep Terry from using his non-existent idol.
  3. Terry: I don’t see Terry going anywhere anytime soon.   3. Spencer: When the new tribe divisions were revealed many superfans immediately assumed that Spencer and Stephen would gravitate toward one another, bro down, and possibly even fall in love. Please. “Survivor” fans hate gamebots. I can guarantee that Spencer and Stephen seethe when they think about how contrived each other’s confessionals must be. “He’s probably calling himself ‘a student of the game,'” Spencer complains to Kimmi while simultaneously rolling his eyes and making a side-to-side motion with his closed hand. “Tryhard,” groans Stephen as Spencer fastidiously folds and unfolds his cargo pants over and over again.
 3. Joe: Joe, Joe…Joe of the Jungle, strong as he can be. Joe, Joe, Joe of the jungle, watch out for that tree! That one over there that you just built a hammock on. And hollowed out and turned into a Keebler Elf bakery. And baked your tribe some delicious cookies. You’re the best, Joe. I’ll be sad when we talk the morning after you lose your first individual immunity challenge.
  4. KEITH NALE: I didn’t even see him this episode. Except for that amazing secret scene where he makes fun of Joe. Keith is also on a tribe that cannot lose. So he is safe and fine and hilarious and he’s great.
   4. Terry: These three guys must be…
  4. Tasha: I believe the measure of a good pro wrestler is if they can have good matches with bad wrestlers. It’s the same with “Survivor.” It’s always much more impressive when someone can make the most out of bad situations.
 5. Ciera: …
  5. Keith: …having so, so much fun not…
  5. Andrew: People love to accuse “Survivor” of favoritism. But, if that’s the case, Andrew would’ve ended up on a tribe with five model/law students.
 6. Spencer: Spencer! You’re doing great making bonds and making friends and all the stuff you said you would do. It seems like nearly getting voted out was a great thing for you. Hopefully you keep this up, cause I’d like to see you go far. Also I really want to know what your girlfriend’s reaction was to that little segment.
  6. Joe: …playing “Survivor.”
  6. Ciera: Ciera is going to get to the merge. That’s bad news for people who aren’t Ciera.
 7. Andrew: This guy, along with Tasha, found his way from the bottom to the top with a very compelling argument and some luckily placed crazies. I think his tribe will lose and continue to lose, but I don’t think him or Tasha are going anywhere.   7. Ciera: There’s good invisible and there’s bad invisible. Ciera isn’t doing – or even saying – much. But at least she’s present. Attendance counts in “Survivor.”
  7. Keith: There’s got to be some kind of “Odd Couple”-esque sitcom with Joe and Keith in development at CBS, right?
 8. Stephen: This guy caught a lucky break. Made a new alliance, has a new tribe full of less testosterone-y men, he has Spencer. They can geek out on the show together. That’s great for him. I think he’s safe.
   8. Stephen: I’d like to have a word with Stephen’s crossfit instructor.
  8. Kass: Hey, what’re you doing this high up?
  9. Joe: I love Joe. And this is maybe the highest I’ll rank him unless he finds an idol. Because even though he is on an unbeatable tribe, I think he will be the first to go the second they get a chance. He’s too likable. He needs to stop smiling so much. He needs to cut off his manbun.
   9. Monica: Remember what I said about “good invisible” and “bad invisible”? I fear that Monica may have crossed over into “bad invisible” territory in the last episode, which is a shame. Monica generously forwent confessionals in Samoa so that Russell Hantz could have an opportunity to periodically explain his side of things to the audience. Let. Monica. Speak.
  9. Stephen: Everyone thinks the swap went in Stephen’s favor, but he’s still on the same beach as his biggest nemesis. Yes, this is a branch joke.
  10. Tasha: See Andrew Savage. The only reason she is this low is because I believe Savage to have a better social and physical game currently. He’s a talker more than she is, and that move at the challenge with Varner was a wildcard thing to do, which is a trait I could see coming back to bite her later in this game.
   10. Kimmi: I see what you did there, Varner. You dirty dog. After the challenge you conspicuously mouth “Kimmi and Monica” in Wigles’ direction so that nuBayon has a reason to be suspicious of them. That’s a very, very slick way of paying Kimmi back for the whole Australia tiebreaker thing.
   10. Monica: We don’t get to see much of you, which is a crime. I didn’t even have to re-do your graphic with a new tribe color.
 11. Monica: SHE HAD A CONFESSIONAL. Holy (expletive deleted). Even though it was monotone, mundane, and literally just stating two sentences of straight facts, she had a confessional. So, I guess she is on the show.
  11. Kelly: At this point nothing short of an outlandish disaster is sending nuBayon to Tribal Council any time soon. That said, if by some odd chance they should finish behind Angkor… LOL, who am I kidding. There’s no way. It’s just not happening.
   11. Kimmi: Wow…if I didn’t update these graphics I’d have almost all Bayon magenta in the top eleven.
 12. Kelly: It’s like they don’t want her or Kimmi to be on the show.
  12. Tasha: Make no mistake: Angkor is screwed. Not only are they subsisting on slop and sleeping in dentists’ chairs in the ice-cold Have-Nots room; they’re also contending with Peak Abi. If there’s anyone who can make it out of this disaster alive it’s Tasha, who knows something about surviving a disastrous tribe. Side note: the green pom-pom headband is so incongruous with Tasha’s no-nonsense demeanor and jacked quads. It’s like somebody put a five-year-old girl’s Easter headband on an inside linebacker.
  12. Abi-Maria: You know those wavy, inflatable arm guys you see at car dealerships and during NXT Women’s Champion Bayley’s entrance? You never know which way those wacky guys are going to go! The same thing with our buddy Abi. She says she’s loyal, but has yet to be loyal to her alliance. Ever.
  13. Kimmi: I still don’t know who this is or if she has had any impact on this game. My guess is no.   13. Andrew: For anyone who ever wondered what Jeff would be like if he were cast on a season of “Survivor” Andrew is your answer.
  13. Spencer: I’ve heard it said that the best way to get someone to like you isn’t to do them a favor, but to get them to do you a favor. That’s exactly what Spencer did with Jeremy. Well played, sir. Now, Spencer still has an uphill battle  because he’s surrounded by old Bayoners, but Jeremy might still be annoyed at Stephen over the whole idol hunting thing in episode two.
  14. Kass: She isn’t going anywhere.
   14. Abi-Maria: After the look Abi gave Woo last week following Peih-Gee’s ouster I’m afraid to even type Abi’s name on my computer, let alone critique her game.
  14. Woo: I’m sure you’ll be fine. Abi-Maria doesn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge.
  15. Abi-Maria: Guys, I have NO idea how Abi keeps sticking around. She is a loose cannon that has more emotional ups and downs than I do when I’m trying to get attention from my cat. And that is a (expletive deleted) ton of ups and downs. Trust me. My cat doesn’t like me most of the time. How she has made it this far blows my mind. Either people are going to carry her to the end because anyone can beat her, or someone is going to come to their senses and get tired of the seemingly ceaseless drama she creates and get rid of her.
   15. Jeff: “Survivor” breakdowns are typically the prerogative of forty-something female castaways. Hence Lisa Whelchel and Dawn filled their respective camps’ wells with their tears before and after every vote, while Monica Culpepper lost the ability to speak in anything other than the third person for 39 consecutive days. After the last immunity challenge, however, Varner’s mid-life manipause sent him into a Walter White-like fugue state during which he completely lost his grip on the game. A week ago I put Varner at number 1. This week I worry that he’s a hot flash away from playing himself out of his second chance. That said, Lisa, Dawn, and Monica all made it to the final 3, so…
  15. Kelly: Yeah, Angkor is in pretty bad shape with their lack of food, and shelter, and tribe harmony, and anything else. But, the next immunity challenge involves blindfolds, so it isn’t a slam dunk for any of the tribes. If new Bayon goes to Tribal, Kelly’s my bet for their boot.
  16. Woo: Woo, man…you are at the wrath of Abi-Maria. A girl who somehow cannot get voted out no matter how much (expletive deleted) she stirs up. It’s like she’s invincible. And now you’re on her list. You are in trouble. The only reason you aren’t last is because you contribute a great physical advantage for the tribe that Jeff doesn’t.
   16. Woo: DAN IS…WRONG AGAIN!
   16. Terry: Yeah, I know Angkor should lose every challenge from here to forever, but what if new Ta Keo throws one? What if Joe gets hit by lightning?
 17. Jeff: Varner. I love you, dude. You’re hilarious. But if your tribe goes to tribal next, I think you and Woo are on the chopping block. Your sneaking pissed off Tasha, one of the heads of your tribe’s alliance. You flipped your lid and let the other tribes know what was going on. Bad moves. You were on the top and now you’re on the bottom. I don’t want to see you go home but I think it’s happening, because I can’t see your tribe winning and I can’t see anyone keeping you around over Woo.
  17. Kass: Kass.
  17. Jeff: It hurts to have you this low, but you made your own bed last week with your post-challenge meltdown. Tandrew only needed you for one week and they seem like the type to value Woo’s challenge prowess over your vote.

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Peih-Gee: ‘Abi Is Like a Rabid Chihuahua’

October 8, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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To paraphrase a little from “Hoosiers,” there are two kinds of crazy in the world. One where the person strips naked, runs out in the snow, and barks at the moon. And the other is where the guy does the same thing in your living room. The first kind doesn’t matter, the second kind you’re forced to deal with.

Abi-Maria was barking in the middle of Peih-Gee’s living room.

I spoke to the most recent victim of Hurricane Abi the morning after her elimination and asked her about life with our favorite Brazilian dragon, Varner’s meltdown, and unique jewelry designs…

Gordon Holmes: Tribe swaps, man. What a trainwreck.
Peih-Gee Law: (Laughs)
Holmes: I feel like I don’t have a great grasp on a lot of the things that happened last night. Let’s start with Varner giving Wiglesworth the high sign after the challenge. What exactly happened there?
Law: I was so out of it after the challenge from the sun and everything that I missed half of it. Varner basically just blew up everybody. I think when Tasha called him out he panicked and said, “Why are you picking on me? I saw Woo talking to Savage, Peih-Gee was trying to make deals with him.” He just called out a bunch of people, and that’s what put him in the hot seat. Woo was like, “I don’t know if I want to work with him. He’s being crazy. I want to go with Savage/Tasha now.” And at that point, I was like, why is Varner calling me out?  I’m his ally. It really should have been Jeff that night.

Holmes: How close were you with Woo? Did that start after the swap or were you close before that?
Law: Woo was my best friend out there. Woo and Kelly Wiglesworth. After we voted out Vytas, I thought about it some more and I really regretted being in an alliance with Abi.
Holmes: Why would you possibly regret that?
Law: (Laughs) Why would anyone feel that way? So, I was going to try to get to know them a little bit better. Let’s start working on the shelter more. And I was able to bond with them from that. Wiglesworth is amazing. Her and I got along really well together because we’re both hard workers. We also bonded over our mutual dislike of a certain tribemate.
Holmes: Maybe if you hadn’t stolen that tribemate’s bracelet, she would’ve been in a better mood.
Law: Well, I am a jeweler.  I wanted to steal it and copy it because it was so beautiful. It was really difficult getting accused of something you didn’t do and then have someone go around and tell everybody you’re a thief. I know it’s a game, but I don’t think that was strategic. That was just her being herself.
Holmes: I like the idea that you would risk your standing in a game for a million dollars over a bracelet that was worth a fraction of that.
Law: (Laughs) And you know what else? The same thing happened to her on her first season. Maybe she would think the same thing happened here and someone put her bracelet in my bag.
Holmes: I thought it would be funny when I put her bracelet in your bag. I didn’t think it’d blow up like this.
Law: (Laughs) That was you the first time also!
Holmes: Yes, in the Philippines. You cannot trust me around camp. You’d think CBS would learn this.
Law: The only good thing that came out of Braceletgate is that it drew a lot of attention to me being a jeweler.
Holmes: You can use this to further your career. The glass is half full.

Holmes: When you guys got to Angkor, you had the numbers. When Savage and Tasha flipped it, was there ever any talk of working out differences and keeping old Ta Keo solid or was Abi long gone by then?
Law: It was always going to be Savage and Tasha. It wasn’t until after the challenge that we were talking about going for Varner. Me and Woo were really tight. And, after the challenge Woo didn’t trust Jeff. And I’d ask Woo, “Where’s Savage? Is he looking for an idol?” Woo would run off, find out, then come back and tell me what he saw. So, I really trusted Woo at that point. I needed to keep Woo happy and if he really wants to go for Jeff, this is what we have to do. It really should have been Jeff. Savage and Tasha were saved by his meltdown. And it wasn’t until I talked to Abi and she said, “I’m never voting with you guys. I’m just totally going to be Tasha’s pawn.” Which is essentially what she said. She made it clear that we’d lost her, so if I vote out Jeff I’ll lose two people. It’s really my own fault. If I said nothing and let Jeff go, he’d 100% be the one going home. They didn’t show it, but right after I was voted out, Tasha yelled out, “It shouldn’t have been you tonight. It should have been Jeff.” Anyway, it was my own fault. It would’ve only bought me three more days. And you never know what can change in three days.
Holmes: The next day they split into fourteen tribes.
Law: Seventeen tribes of one would have been ideal.

Holmes: I really, genuinely like Abi-Maria. Outside of the game, she’s delightful. I have a theory that in the game as long as I’m cool with her, she’ll be cool with me. Based on what I’m seeing, that theory is wildly inaccurate.
Law: I’ve never interacted with Abi-Maria in her home territory. So, I have no idea what she’s like in her normal life. She could be the most amazing person. So, any comments I make are strictly from in the game. She turns into Mr. Hyde when she’s on “Survivor.” She’s literally turned around and bit everyone she’s worked with in the butt. Even Varner, who told me over and over again, “I’ve got her, I can control her. She’ll be easy to get rid of.” I said, “That’s the problem. Everybody is going to think that and she’s going to make it through to the end.” She jumped ship to Tasha who was petting her a little bit more. Suddenly she’ s Tasha’s pet. She’s not Jeff’s pet. I think it’s a mistake to work with someone like that.

Holmes: When the decision was made to get rid of Shirin, was that strictly a numbers thing because they had Kelly, Terry, Abi, Woo, and Jeff?
Law: Yeah. Varner had the numbers already. He was gunning for Spencer. And Shirin was trying to get out Varner. And then Varner rallied everyone against her. The vote that night should have been Abi. Terry, Wiglesworth, Woo, everyone had agree to vote out Abi-Maria. They didn’t show it, but Terry and Abi had a fight also. She accused him of assaulting her when he’d just said a few choice words. She came back crying. They didn’t show that because they want Terry to look like America’s hero.
Holmes: Was that before or after he went to her when she was crying on the beach?
Law: Before. They were all set to vote her out, then the big fight happened and she decided to jump ship because Shirin didn’t come comfort her. And I get why they made it look like Terry was the only one who came to talk to her, but really everybody talked to her that night. She just arbitrarily picked Terry. So, they had an extra number and that was it.

Holmes:  Alright, word association time. Let’s start with Terry.
Law: I have a couple of things prepared.
Holmes: That’s not how this works.
Law: (Laughs) Terry was America’s dad. Dad jokes, dad stories, dad bod.
Holmes: Wiglesworth?
Law: Earth mama. I loved her. One of my best friends out there.
Holmes: Wentworth?
Law: She’s a cat. She’s long and sleek and she keeps landing on her feet.
Holmes: Woo?
Law: A ninja spy. He reported everything to me and was one of my best friends.
Holmes: Varner?
Law: He’s that friend with the awesome new car who takes you out for a ride and you’re like,  “Yeah, I wanna go for a ride in your car!” But once you’re out there he starts going really fast and crazy and you get really scared.
Holmes: Shirin?
Law: Shirin is the shiny new car that Varner is driving that crashed.
Holmes: Spencer?
Law: He’s an earnest, smart, intelligent kid. I love him.
Holmes: Vytas?
Law: I wish I’d kept Vytas around.
Holmes: Savage?
Law: In the words of Shii-Ann (Huang), Savage  is Captain America with his perfect teeth and his perfect life…as he’ll be quick to tell you.
Holmes: Tasha?
Law: Tasha…dressed like a leprechaun.
Holmes: Let’s finish with your buddy Abi.
Law: (Laughs) I thought very long and hard about this. Abi is like a rabid Chihuahua. She yapped too much, was irritating and mad all the time.

Holmes: I heard a hot little rumor that you tried to sneak some contraband into the game.
Law: (Laughs) Well, I’d prepared a couple of things. I’m a jeweler, so I had some earrings that I had gold-plated and I set with some pearls and other gemstones. They were little fishhooks. And I also had a little piece of flint. I wrapped it in some fishing line and twine and sewed it onto a cardigan that I was wearing. It was like a button closure. It got taken away.
Holmes: Sneaky, sneaky.
Law: People say it’s cheating, but people bring in reading glasses that start fire. I just brought in a jacket where the button can start a fire. I don’t see what the difference is. But, I’m designing a whole line of survival jewelry. I already took an order for the fishhook earrings. So, look out for my line of survival jewelry.
Holmes:  Hey, life gave you lemons, and you’ve made hilarious jewelry with them.
Law: You’ve got to work with what you’ve got.
Holmes: And Challenge Producer John Kirhoffer has said, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”
Law: I wasn’t cheating! (Laughs) But I was trying.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Second Chance’ Episode 3 Recap: Angkor Management

October 7, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (XFINITY)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Last Week: Abi and Terry’s unlikely friendship was a “Small Wonder.” Stephen continued to be “The Single Guy.” And Jeff showed Shirin “Who’s the Boss.”

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog…

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Bayon Tribe (wearing pink)
Andrew – Pearl Islands
Ciera – Blood vs. Water
Jeremy – San Juan del Sur
Joe – Worlds Apart
Kass – Cagayan
Keith – San Juan del Sur
Kimmi – The Australian Outback
Monica – Samoa
Tasha – Cagayan
Stephen – Tocantins

The Ta Keo Tribe (wearing teal)
Abi – Philippines
Jeff – The Australian Outback
Kelley W. – San Juan del Sur
Kelly W. – Borneo
Peih-Gee – China
Spencer – Cagayan
Terry – Panama
Woo – Cagayan

We kick things off at Casa de Ta Keo and Spencer is psyched to still be around. He tells everyone that’s he’s committing himself to making the team stronger. Peih-Gee does some foreshadowing by saying that things can change overnight.

Terry is equally psyched to finally have a social game. However, he does the cabbage patch while saying this. C’mon…least socially acceptable dance next to the Macarena, right?

The next morning, Probst gathers the tribes. Both groups say they’re happy with how things are going. Oh man, Probst is loving this. He tells them to drop their buffs because two tribes are splitting into three.

The bad news? The mysterious third tribe, known as Angkor, will have to start from scratch and build a new camp.

Savage is freaked out because he doesn’t have the best history with big twists. Well, he isn’t wrong.

They pull new buffs and we’ve got Abi, Tasha, Jeff, Woo, Andrew, and Peih-Gee on Angkor. Kelley, Ciera, Joe, Keith, Terry, and Kass on the new Ta Keo. And Kimmi, Jeremy, Kelly, Stephen, Spencer, and Monica on Bayon.

Andrew is freaked out because he’s surrounded by former Ta Keons, Spencer is relieved to be surrounded by former Bayonians.

Fun Fact: There will be idol clues at the Bayon and Angkor beaches. Ta Keo won’t receive one because Kelley has the Ta Keo idol.

Over at Angkor beach, there’s no food, no rice, and no sympathy for Savage. The former Ta Keo folk immediately agree to get rid of him if they lose immunity. Maybe they can bring him back as an outcast.

Meanwhile at actual Ta Keo, Terry is giddy because of how strong they’ll be in challenges. He’s not concerned about being behind in the numbers because they have SuperJoe. What if the challenge involves being ugly, Terry? How will Joe win that one?

Later on, Kelley tells Joe that she isn’t really working with Terry. She throws him under the bus saying Terry has been looking for the idol non-stop. Sneaky sneaky!

At Bayon, the former Bayonians have also decided to band together. Stephen likes this because it means he’ll be able to beat Rob Cesterino’s “All-Star” record.

Spencer tries to get close with Jeremy by sharing a genuine conversation. Well, as genuine a conversation as you can have while you’re trying to get on someone’s good side.

At Angkor, Tasha tells us that she knows how to fight because she was on Luzon. She forgets to mention that she also learned how to live without rice thanks to J’Tia.

Tasha takes Abi aside and tells her that she has a place with old Bayon at the merge. She tries to make a similar deal with Jeff.

In fact, they tell Jeff they can get him all the way to the jury. Well, that’s a heck of a deal…the jury…

The next day at Bayon, Kelly saves everyone from a scorpion. Aww…I miss Mike Holloway.

Later on, Stephen tells the rest of his alliance that they need the idol to maintain their advantage. They look around and Jeremy manages to find the clue. But is it for one idol like most people would find or for forty idols like Val would find?

Immunity Challenge Time:  The tribes will push a cart around a course while gathering keys and collecting chests full of puzzle pieces. They’ll then have to take the cart apart so they can fit it and the chests through a wall. From there, they’ll put the cart back together and transport the puzzle pieces to the end. The first tribe to complete the puzzle will win immunity.

Fun Fact: This challenge first appeared in “Survivor: Cagayan.”

Another Fun Fact: I watched the Dream Team do a test run of this challenge and the puzzle took foooooorever.

We start off and it’s pretty even up until the wall, although Ta Keo has a slight lead.

Jeremy manages to easily pocket the idol.

Ta Keo is the first through the wall with Bayon and Angkor tied for second.

Joe and Kass take on the puzzle for Ta Keo. Eventually Peih-Gee and Tasha and Spencer and Monica pull puzzle duty for their tribes.

Woo and Jeremy tag in, but it’s too late to pass Ta Keo. They win immunity.

The puzzles continue to be close, but Bayon wins it. Hmm…so the tribe with no supplies and no shelter lost? Shocker.

Before we can hand out idols, Tasha catches Jeff motioning to Kelly and yells, “We’ve got a rat!”

Probst asks her about it and things break down. It’s hard to follow, but Jeff says that Savage made a deal with him, then a deal with Peih-Gee. Woo wonders why nobody made a deal with him.  He seems frustrated that he’s the last to know.

Back at Angkoria, Savage, Peih-Gee, and Woo go for a little walk. Savage tries to make the case that they won’t win immunity without him and they should target Jeff. Peih-Gee thinks he makes a good case because he’s a lawyer. But, you can’t trust him because he’s a lawyer.

Abi approaches Tasha and asks if they’ll target Jeff. She thinks he’s too unpredictable. Whoa…when Abi calls you unpredictable…

Later, Abi tells Peih-Gee and Woo that she’s voting with Savage and Tasha no matter what because she knows she’s on the bottom of the old Ta Keo.

Peih-Gee goes to Savage and Tasha and tells them that she wants Abi gone.

Then, Jeff tells Abi that he’s cool with getting rid of Peih-Gee. What the what?!

Finally, Abi tells Abi that she wants Abi gone.

OK, that last one didn’t happen.

That night at Tribal, Tasha and Savage learn about that Tribal Council ritual of fire meaning life.

Peih-Gee thinks that Savage and Tasha would usually be in trouble because they were on another tribe.

Jeff didn’t feel like he was a rat for motioning to Kelly. Tasha disagrees.

Varner admits that he’s heard many names thrown around the camp including himself, Peih-Gee, and Abi. He says Tasha and Savage are now on the top of the heap.

Abi thinks she’s the one going home based on the conversations around camp that she wasn’t involved in.

Peih-Gee wants to be with people she trusts.

Varner has no idea what’s going on tonight, but he reiterates that Savage and Tasha are in charge.

And Woo was there.

Voting Time: Peih-Gee votes for Abi, Abi votes for Peih-Gee, and the rest are lost to the magic of editing.

Probst tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Abi, one vote for Peih-Gee, one vote for Abi, one vote for Peih-Gee, one vote for Peih-Gee, and the third person voted out of “Survivor: Second Chance” is…Peih-Gee.

Note: Varner, Abi, Tasha, and Savage all voted for Peih-Gee.

Verdict: Wow, that was a wild one. I don’t love the idea of one tribe having to start from scratch, but what could you do?

Who’s Going to Win? Jeff’s still my pick, but that blow-up was amateursville. Fortunately, his ability to adapt kept him alive.

Power Rankings Results: Oh man, my Power Rankings were just BLOWN UP! Jenn had Peih-Gee in spot fourteen, Max had her in spot sixteen, and I had her in…gulp…spot four. The current score is Team Jenn 31, Team Max 29, and Team Gordon 19.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Host Jeff Probst Breaks Down the Tribe Expansion – Idols, Camps, and More

October 6, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (XFINITY)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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SPOILER ALERT! A picture of five of the six new Ta Keo members is hidden in this interview somewhere. If you don’t want to know who they are, you might want to click away.

We’ve seen tribes go from four to two, we’ve seen them go from three to two, and we always see them go from two to one. But this Wednesday we will witness the first-ever tribe expansion when we go from two to three. So basically the new tribe (Angkor) is like the Colorado Rockies and the Miami Marlins.

I had a chance to talk to the man himself, “Survivor” host and executive producer Jeff Probst, about this twist and what it’ll mean for the eighteen remaining Second Chancers.

Gordon Holmes: Hearing “Drop Your Buffs” is either someone’s biggest fear or their greatest wish. Nobody is indifferent.
Jeff Probst: You’re absolutely right.  Three of the most powerful words in the game and it all comes down to luck.  This is definitely a shot to the gut for a couple of people who end up on a tribe that is certainly at least perceived as weaker.  For another Survivor this is the change they were hoping for as it gets them out of a situation in which they felt on the outside.  And for one other…it’s more of the same.  From one bottom to another.   It changed up the game quite a bit.  You can NEVER get comfortable on “Survivor.”  Never.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Holmes: Going from two tribes to three tribes has never been done before. Will the Angkor tribe get some kind of advantage or will they have to start camp from scratch?   
Probst: The Angkor tribe is starting from scratch.  Same supplies that were waiting for them on the beach on day one, but without any of the supplies they were able to get off the boat at the marooning.  It’s a MASSIVE set back.  All their energy now has to go to building a new shelter which could hurt them at the immunity challenges.
Holmes: Yikes, that’s harsh.

Five of the Six Members of the New Ta Keo Tribe (and a mystery person behind Kelley) (CBS)

Holmes: Kelley already has the Ta Keo idol. Will there now be clues at both the Angkor and Bayon beaches?  
Probst: Yes, there is still a clue at Bayon and a new one is waiting for them at Angkor.

Holmes: Vytas and Shirin are two pretty big names to go home early. Are they high-up on the list for the “Third Times a Charm” season?  
Probst: Ha!  No plans for a “third-chance” season but yes it was a bummer to see them go.  When we put this idea together we knew that every week it would be a painful loss as everybody is great.  But when you think about it, that’s all you could ever ask for in a season! It’s only getting started…

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 2: Triple Tribes Edition

October 6, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Kass is voted out this week, Jenn and Max will each receive eighteen points and Gordon will receive ten points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Shirin in spot seventeen, Max had her in spot thirteen, and Gordon had her in spot fifteen. So, the current score is Team Jenn 17, Team Max 13, and Team Gordon 15.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 17

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 13

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 15

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
 1. Terry: I’m going to preface this with the fact that since there is a tribe switch-up happening next, I have no clue what to do here because I have no idea who is on what tribe. So… this is just…uh…I’m completely guessing on this (expletive deleted). Terry is great. He is strong. He is a guy’s guy. No one is going to be voting out the strong guys at this round in the game.   1. Jeff: Varner is Cochran in confessionals and Will Sims in challenges. If Jenn can make Terry her #1 for no other reason than he reminds her of her dad I can make Jeff Varner #1 just because he’s so much fun to watch on TV.
  1. Kelley: Oh good, a tribe swap. And this isn’t the traditional three-becomes-two or even a Spice Girls merge where two become one. This is two turns into three? Who’s safe? If you have the numbers now, what’re the odds you’re going to end up with enough of your alliance to keep you safe? Bad news all around. As Kelley’s the only person packing an idol, she’s the only one I feel comfortable ranking first.
  2. Kelley: She still has an idol and has been going alright so far. I think she is just fine for this next vote. Hopefully.
  2. Jeremy: Even when Jeremy is crying he’s angry. That’s what I love about him. I also love that he has the good sense to go off and do his crying in private to prevent himself from slipping up and spilling the beans about Val’s pregnancy. Everything Jeremy is doing is motivated by strategy. And yet he’s not coming across as a gamebot. That bodes well for him.
  2. Keith: A tribe swap is perfect for someone as easy-going as Keith. Even if he lands in a bad numbers situation, he won’t offend anyone enough to be their first target.
  3. KEITH NALE: Everyone loves Keith and he is surprisingly a beast in challenges. There is zero chance in hell that he is going home at this tribe swap and if he does I’m not doing Power Rankings anymore because what’s even the point without Keith this early? Sorry, Gordon.   3. Kelley: Kelley sold out Shirin and Spencer faster than Dimples sold out the Dirty 30 after fans started complaining about the nasty tone of our season. Where was this Kelley in San Juan Del Sur? How great would it have been to have heard her say to Missy, “You won’t see me talk to my dad for the rest of the day. In fact, if you want, I’ll never talk to him again. Ever. For the rest of my life.”
  3. Ciera: OK, worst case for Ciera is if she ends up on a tribe with either all the bros from old Bayon or all Ta Keons. Otherwise, she’s pretty safe. There’s no reason to target her with Vytas doing down dog at Ponderosa.
  4. Andrew: Again, see Deitz. I don’t think the strong dudes are going anywhere.
   4. Terry: The good news: Terry overcame one of the biggest deficiencies in his game to win the allegiance of an excluded tribe member. The bad news: Terry’s now saddled to a Brazilian Dragon.
  4. Peih-Gee: She’s another one of those people where there isn’t a strong reason to get rid of her first. She’s just gotta stay cool and leave everyone’s bracelets alone.
 5. Jeremy: Jeremy is in the boat with Deitz and Savage. Can you imagine if the tribe swap happens and it’s Terry, Andrew, Keith, Jeremy, Tasha, and Joe all on one tribe? I would feel so sorry for the other tribes. I think all six of those listed above are smooth sailing straight to the merge. And then the merge will happen and then all hell will break loose. It’s gonna be great.
  5. Keith: I just want at least one great Keith confessional per episode. Is that too much to ask for?
  5. Jeff: Varner’s playing some next-level “Survivor” at this point. Right now, he’ll be able to work with any of the other seven Ta Keo folks he ends up on a tribe with. And, he’s done it subtly enough that others won’t run to the Bayonians and scream that he’s a threat.
 6. Tasha: See Above. Plus she seems to not have made any waves yet. Seems to get along with people. This should be fine.
  6. Tasha: One day Tasha will tell the story of how she met the love of her life to a rapt audience. “He was standing on the beach wearing nothing but a manbun and he was leading our entire tribe through a series of yoga poses. He was the most beautiful thing I ever saw…” She pauses, dabs at the corner of her eye, and then sobs uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, it just that he’s…he’s my everything.” Everyone within earshot will clutch their hearts and sigh, except for Stephen, who will interrupt to ask if anyone knows where the bathroom is.
  6. Kimmi: Kimmi’s still on this show? Everyone in pre-game was worried about how annoying she’d be, but annoying doesn’t send you home first anymore. In fact, it will often get you dragged to the end. She should be fine.
 7. Woo: I just don’t get Woo. I like how he straight up was like “NO” to Spencer and Shirin last episode though. Tells me he’s not putting up with facades and (expletive deleted). That should help him out a bit.   7. Monica: I once heard Purple Kelly tell the story of how she got on the show. “I was walking around at a mall and someone came up to me and said ‘You’d be great on ‘Survivor!”” she explained. Then, without missing a beat, she continued, “Clearly they were wrong.” Monica may have worn purple on Galu, but she is no Purple Kelly. LET MONICA SPEAK.
  7. Kelly: There have been more twists and turns in Kelly’s first six days than in her entire stay in Borneo. However, she’s been handling it like a champ. Her alliance is back on top and if they all end up scattered in six different directions, she’ll have some time to plan her next move.
 8. Ciera: What is even the point of ranking the following four people when we have seen nothing from them yet?
   8. Joe: Deleted Joe confessional: “Before I left for Cambodia Mike and I talked about changing up my strategy so that I don’t run into the same problems that I had after the merge in ‘Worlds Apart.’ So instead of just being amazing at challenges this time I’m also going to be amazing at camp. That should eliminate any thoughts about me being a threat, right?”
  8. Monica: Not much to go on when it comes to Monica. With all the chaos in this upcoming episode, I’d imagine that’s good news for her.
  9. Monica: Was she even in the last episode?
   9. Spencer: By surviving last week’s council, Spencer became the Shirin to Shirin’s Max. But don’t count The Lad out quite yet: Spencer is at his best when the odds are stacked against him. Just pray he doesn’t end up with Kass after the swap.
  9. Abi-Maria: I’ve been seeing the smile Abi gave to Shirin in my nightmares all week. Super creepy. My life goal from now on is to stay on Abi-Maria’s good side. Anywho, she probably won’t be anyone’s first target at a swap unless she stabs someone in the face over a real or perceived slight.
  10. Kimmi: See “Monica Padilla.”
   10. Ciera: Every week when I type out the names of the castaways to do my Power Rankings I always end up one short. Every week I forget the same person.
   10. Kass: I can’t believe how high Kass is in my rankings. I never thought I’d see the day. But, she seems to be getting along famously with her Bayon tribemates. And after the swap, if she can keep those good vibes flowing, she won’t be an obvious target. Well, unless she lands on Spencer’s tribe, but he’s got bigger problems than her.
 11. Kelly: Apparently Monica, Kimmi, Ceira, and Kelly are just not going to exist for a couple episodes. Whatever.
  11. Kelly: Head back to camp, I got nothing for ya.
   11. Stephen: Only Spencer needed a tribe swap more than Stephen. Now that he’s got it, he should be the town crier to warn everyone else about the Challenge Stallion alliance. Of course with Stephen’s luck, he’ll end up on a tribe with Joe, Jeremy, Savage, Tasha, Keith, and Biff Tannen.
 12. Joe: Joe. You made hammocks for everyone and then caught a bunch of fish AND THEN WON THE CHALLENGE. STOP. STOP IT. STOP. YOU ARE PUBLIC ENEMY #1 AND IT’S EPISODE THREE.
I think he’s fine for now, but if he makes it to the merge, I think he’s doomed.
(Sorry, I still love you, though.)		  12. Kimmi: There’s no way that they’d let Kimmi go home without first giving us some big, sloppy, finger-wagging, over-the-top, Lawn Guyland moments, right? RIGHT?
  12. Spencer: He won’t get a completely clean slate with the tribe swap, but odds are he’ll have more Bayons around him than Ta Keos. He should act like the Ta Keo alliance is much closer than it really is to turn the Bayons against them.
  13. Stephen: Dude is talking too much. Making himself a target. Questioning the motives of a man who misses his pregnant wife. Come on, Fishbach. You’re not playing with a bunch of intellectual and strategy-always Spencers. You’re playing with four macho men, who don’t have time for your (expletive deleted). If the tribe swap doesn’t put you in the graces of people like Spencer and Kelley and Ciera, you’re digging yourself a hole and probably going home.   13. Woo: Woo went from Alec Christy Mouthbreather to Drew Christy Badass in the blink of an eye last week. I know that a lot of people were impressed by the way that the Weas rebuffed Shirin, but let’s be honest: all he really did was turn down an opportunity to make a big move™ for the illusory safety of an alliance that’s being led by a disloyal power-drunk Fred Flintstone look-alike.
  13. Tasha: Oh man, I hope this tribe swap doesn’t cost Tasha her 9:30 Joe-ga class.
  14. Peih-Gee: Something about her just stirs up controversy. Maybe it’s just Abi. I’m not sure. But if she’s on a tribe with Abi and Varner I think she could be going home soon. She is just going with the tribe votes, making no moves on her own. That can carry her to the merge, hell to the end, but I don’t see it happening. However her hair looked flawless last episode.
   14. Stephen: At this point it’s obvious that we’re being set up for a Stephen versus Andrew showdown. But is Stephen the new Ryan Shoulders or the new Lill Morris?
  14. Terry: Kudos to Terry for showing some compassion to Abi and making a new bestest buddy for life. But, what’s he going to do now that his freshly reunited alliance is about to be torn apart? Maybe he can fit into Jeremy’s plans.
  15. Jeff: I love me some Jeff Varner. That move last week was just perfect. I’m just afraid that if he ends up on a tribe with the folks at the top of the list he will be in trouble.
   15. Andrew: Andrew is using the hammer and nails and other tools that Bayon won at the last challenge to build a locker so that he has something to shove Stephen into.
  15. Jeremy: Alright, you’ve probably noticed that the challenge threats are at the bottom of the rankings. That’s because swaps can ruin the importance of challenge dominance. People become less concerned with winning and more concerned with getting to the merge with their buddies.
  16. Spencer: Spencer you got so lucky, but this could easily happen again next week.
   16. Peih-Gee: Peih-Gee is slippery. In episode 1 she got caught stealing from her fellow tribe members and yet her name never came up at council. In episode 2 she got caught expletive deleted-talking Abi and yet somehow the vote came down to Spencer and Shirin. No, I don’t really think for a second that Peih-Gee stole Abi’s bracelet. Nor do I think that she should have been targeted for her social faux-pas. I am, however, starting to wonder why she is in the middle of nearly every Ta Keo argument.
   16. Andrew: Oh…the bitter irony if the same man who brought down by the Outcasts twists was brought down by the first-ever tribe expansion. I won’t feel too bad for him, he still has his model/law student wife.
 17. Abi-Maria: Abi. You gotta chill out. I will be shocked if you make it to the merge if you keep this up. Unless someone gets just as crazy and is like, “(expletive deleted) let’s take her to the end.”
  17. Abi-Maria: Abi has Terry’s protection…for now. We all know that Terry is a man of his word. But will he be able to keep his word the next time Abi Abis?
   17. Joe: Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe…you need to wait for a season with Redemption Island to come back.
 18. Kass: I think she is going to go soon. Even after that “she has feelings” edit.
  18. Kass: Kass.
  18. Woo: Challenge threat, possibly down in numbers after the swap. Sonic might be gone-ic.

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‘Survivor’ Castaway Shirin: ‘I Got Caught Red-Handed Coming for Varner’

October 1, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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You know when you say something that seems funny in the moment…but in hindsight…it comes off really badly? Remember this from my pre-game interview with Shirin?

Shirin Oskooi: As much as I was looking forward to doing the Power Rankings for this season, I know that I’m a lock for next season.
Gordon Holmes: Oh, are you? You think I invite first boots to do the Power Rankings?
Oskooi: (Silent Stare)
Holmes: (Laughs)
Oskooi: Excuse me?!

Yeah, I’m the worst person ever.

I had the chance to beg forgiveness from Shirin the morning after she was eliminated from the game. When we were done I asked her about her best buddy Spencer, Varner’s crazy moves, and sharing a beach with a Brazilian dragon…

Shirin Oskooi: Homie G!
Gordon Holmes: Remember that hilarious interview we had in Cambodia where I said that really funny thing about first boots not being invited to do the Power Rankings?
Oskooi: I do indeed remember that. I remember that vividly.
Holmes: The good news? Second boots totally get invited to play all the time.
Oskooi: (Laughs) That’s fortunate then because I’m totally doing Power Rankings next season. I cannot wait.

Holmes: To get to the bottom of this whole mess, I feel like we need to go back to the first immunity challenge where you weren’t able to go back to the beach before Tribal. What was the alliance breakdown at that point?
Oskooi: So, on one side you had solidly Spencer, Kelley, me, and Abi. On the other side was Vytas, Woo, Terry, and Wiglesworth. And they 100% believed that they had Spencer, but they didn’t. And in the middle were Varner and Peih-Gee. Peih-Gee wanted to work with that side, but Terry and Vytas would not give her a deal. That’s why she came our way and voted with us even though Abi was always pretty crazy toward her. And, Varner was supportive of that decision because he wanted to light a fire under the butts of the old-school people. I think it’s pretty open now that he had a pre-game alliance with Terry and Wiglesworth. And he was willing to sacrifice Vytas  to light a fire under their asses for them to start playing the game harder.

Holmes: I floated the theory to Probst that Varner voted with you guys to throw you off of the scent of the old-school alliance. That’s some third-level, Jedi-mind-trick gameplay.
Oskooi: Totally. And the other thing that’s brilliant about what he did is; he now has every single person in that tribe wrapped around his finger. Everybody knows they can work with Varner. Other people have made it clear that they’re not willing to work with people outside of their original alliance. Wiglesworth, for example, refuses to have conversations with the other side. She’s in her little world, working hard around camp, or chatting up Terry and Woo. Otherwise she doesn’t want to play the game. She wants to play “Survivalism.”
Holmes: What’s Terry’s mindset?
Oskooi: Same thing with Terry. He’s talking with a few people, but he has his views of the game. You get some strong dudes, and maybe somebody who’s good at puzzles and that’s it. He had his pre-game alliance. He wasn’t willing to break that. He wasn’t willing to make deals with anyone on the other side of the fence. Varner has shown everyone that he’s willing to work with anyone. But, my take on Varner’s game is that he’s been too public about being the middleman.
Holmes: How does he get away with that without being slapped with the “flipper” label?
Oskooi: That is my question precisely. What you didn’t see last night was I got sent home because I got caught red-handed coming for Varner. He told me he wanted to get rid of Spencer after we got rid of Vytas. And everybody was pretty sick of living with Abi, so everybody else wanted her. So, all of the sudden the two people we’re choosing between were in my alliance. So, I went to the other side, to Terry and those guys and said, “Varner screwed you over, he’s about to screw us over. Why don’t we get rid of him? He’s playing the middleman.” And instead of going with it, they stuck with him and ratted me out. And Varner said, “If she’s gunning for me, I’m going to take her out.”

Holmes: Abi-Maria is a delight in person. However, when you put a buff on her head she goes insane. What is life like with Abi-Maria?
Oskooi: She needs therapy. And what it comes down to is we were playing “Survivor,” it’s rough conditions and she’s kind of like a wild bear, running into your camp, ravaging everything. Lashing out at the people. And after your camp gets ravaged a couple of times, you start building up walls and figuring out ways to protect yourself from the wild beast. And anytime you put up one of those walls, she then has a total meltdown and starts sobbing and says everyone is attacking her. When really they were just defending themselves. There’s the problem, she doesn’t see how she’s attacking people and she’s doing it non-stop. And if you defend yourself, she sees it as an attack. She runs off crying and makes all these crazy claims.
Holmes: You’re always supposed to keep an eye on the people on the bottom of your alliance.
Oskooi: Gamewise, I should have comforted her, but I was emotionally drained from having to deal with her the three first days. Going after her to comfort her would be like going after a wild bear that had just attacked everybody at your camp.

Holmes: I look at someone like Abi and think; this is the Phillip Sheppard to my “Boston” Rob. But, is she too erratic to keep by your side?
Oskooi: First of all, when you see “Boston” Rob do what he does with Phillip, that’s like, “Do not try this at home, kids.” That is a very special skill. Second of all, Abi is no Phillip Sheppard. She’s not one to march to anyone’s orders. She views the world in her own very special way. And you can’t anticipate that world view because it switches constantly. If I were to give it an analogy, I would harken to Harry Potter and call her, Fiendfyre. She’s wild, uncontainable, destructive, constantly jumping from one person to the other. You cannot put a leash on Fiendfyre, it will do what it wants.
Holmes: Never enough Harry Potter analogies.
Oskooi: (Laughs) To think anyone can take her to the end as a shield is insane. However, she does have the potential to be the greatest goat in the history of this game.

Holmes: Last night Jeff Probst compared your interaction with Will on “Worlds Apart” to your interaction with Abi. To me, that’s like comparing apples to trucks. What was your reaction when he said that?
Oskooi: I’m with you on that. It’s such a stretch. There’s no comparison whatsoever. I was viciously attacked by multiple people including the dead fish. And those attacks were deeply personal and rooted in prejudice. In this case Abi was the one attacking everybody, lashing out at everybody. And, she feels like she’s the victim when people don’t allow her to attack them. Was she upset? Yes. Was I upset in my season? Yes. Was that the thin thread of comparison? Yeah. In terms of what caused those emotions, I’d say in my case it was rational and in her case it was rooted in delusion and not understanding the world around her.

Holmes: I don’t know if you know this, but we do a word association here.
Oskooi: (Laughs) I’ve heard!
Holmes: I’ll give you a name, you give me the first couple of words that pop into your head.
Oskooi: Yup!
Holmes: Right off the top of your head. We’ll start with Vytas.
Oskooi: Theon Greyjoy. That just popped into my head, by the way.
Holmes: Alright, liar. Feel free to expound on these not-at-all-premeditated terms.
Oskooi: (Laughs) Theon was smarmy, arrogant, a little bit slutty.
Holmes: Spencer?
Oskooi: Tyrion Lannister. He’s smarter and more strategic than everybody. But because of appearances people don’t want to admit it. And people treat him unfairly.
Holmes: Woo?
Oskooi: Hodor! Because Hodor. (Laughs)
Holmes: (Laughs) Well played. Varner?
Oskooi: I love him. Queen of Thorns. Snarky, strategic…
Holmes: Wiglesworth?
Oskooi: Selyse Baratheon, the wife of Stannis. She’s dour, doesn’t really understand the game, but marches to order.
Holmes: Wentworth?
Oskooi: Arya Stark because she blends in and tries to be unseen. But, now that she’s got an idol, should anyone come after her, she’s got a Needle in her pocket.
Holmes: Peih-Gee?
Oskooi: Ellaria Sand. She’s sassy and does not take (expletive deleted).
Holmes: Terry?
Oskooi: The Mountain, because he’s a brute. He’s strong and doesn’t really see the game for what it is.
Holmes: Abi?
Oskooi: Joffrey, I don’t think that needs explanation.
Holmes: He’s a beloved character, I’m sure you meant that in the best way. Do you have one for yourself?
Oskooi: I do. I am Oberyn Martell, the Viper. I also have one for Shane (Powers).
Holmes: Shoot.
Oskooi: The honorary cast member for season 31.  Shane is Syrio Forel because he’s quirky as all hell and slays.

Holmes: Always looking for positives, which is tough when you’re second out. I’d say last time the players thought you were annoying. This time you were too strategic. Any other positives?
Oskooi: I got to do my life dream twice. That’s pretty exciting. And I was voted in by fans. That’s great. Being voted out second, at least I got to play the game with people who appreciated me and didn’t vilify me for things like love of the game. I made some incredible friendships. A very close friend in Spencer. It was healing to put season 30 behind me and move on to something positive.
Holmes: And you get that second life dream when you get to do the Power Rankings.
Oskooi: It’s more like my first life dream, I just never thought I could achieve it.
Holmes: Most people use “Survivor” as a stepping stone to do the Power Rankings.
Oskooi: I’m in a select group, it’s pretty incredible.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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‘Survivor: Second Chance’ Episode 2 Recap: Gimme Shelter?

September 30, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Last Week: Peih-Gee was accused of theft, Jeremy started an alliance based on heft, and poor Vytas only has a third chance left…

39 Days, 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog…

Let’s take a look at the tribes as they currently stand…

The Bayon Tribe (wearing pink)
Andrew – Pearl Islands
Ciera – Blood vs. Water
Jeremy – San Juan del Sur
Joe – Worlds Apart
Kass – Cagayan
Keith – San Juan del Sur
Kimmi – The Australian Outback
Monica – Samoa
Tasha – Cagayan
Stephen – Tocantins

The Ta Keo Tribe (wearing teal)
Abi – Philippines, 35
Jeff – The Australian Outback
Kelley W. – San Juan del Sur
Kelly W. – Borneo, 37
Peih-Gee – China
Shirin – Worlds Apart
Spencer – Cagayan
Terry – Panama
Woo – Cagayan

We kick things off over at Ta Keo where they’re finally getting fire. Kelly isn’t happy that Varner flipped on them. Who taught her the word “flipped”? They didn’t do that back then.

Meanwhile, Kelley is finally able to open the package she got at the challenge. Fortunately for her, it’s an idol. How funny would it have been if it was another clue? Or like a Pez dispenser?

Later, Varner asks Team Shirencer who to get rid of next. Spencer thinks it should be Terry, Kelly, or Woo. After that, Varner confesses to us that he made his move to lull Spencer and Shirin into a sense of false security.

Wha-huh?

Varner tells Terry that they need to wake up and play the game and get rid of the strategists. I was right! He is Keyser Soze!

In other news, Abi is proud of herself for not stabbing everyone dead when she got four votes at Tribal. Golf clap for Abi.

She interrupts Peih-Gee’s story about the chimney she built in China to make sure everyone doesn’t hate her. She then pulls a similar trick with Woo, Jeff, and Terry and Terry curses her out. Varner thinks she’s like their own Brazilian soap opera. “The Young and the Braceletless”?

Over at Bayon, Joe is trying to make himself as valuable as possible. Like those eyes aren’t valuable enough.

Andrew tells a story about how his wife is a model/law student. Yup, I hate him.

Oh wait, he cries when thinking about her. I take it back, you’re adorable, Andrew.

Kass agrees with me. Her heart grows three sizes and breaks the heart-measuring machine. She’s confused because she thought everyone was going to be at each others’ throats. That’s what happens when you have a tribe that wins, Kass.

Later, Jeremy wanders off to collect himself and lets us know that Val is pregnant. How many immunity idols does the baby have? I’m setting the over/under at six.

As Jeremy is away, Stephen accuses him of looking for the idol. Savage doesn’t believe it though, he thinks the power of his model/law student story drove him away. Stephen just can’t win.

Back at Ta Keo, Abi overhears Peih-Gee and Shirin talking about her. This erupts into a fight. Shirin quietly drifts away like Homer Simpson slinking into a shrub in an Internet meme.

Later, Abi overhears Shirin laughing about the incident and takes it very personally.

Terry sees how upset Abi is and approaches her. Somehow, they manage to bond over the incident and it looks like they’re a team now.

The next morning, Varner and Abi both agree to work with Terry and they want to target Shirin or Spencer. Whoa… They shake on it, but Jeff Kent isn’t around to let us know if it’s a four-finger handshake or not.

Immunity Challenge Time: The two teams will race up and down three A-frame structures. Then they’ll use a rope to pull a crate along a jagged course. Finally, they’ll use the pieces in the crate to build a vertical puzzle. First tribe to complete the puzzle wins immunity, a tool kit, and shelter materials.

Ciera will sit out for Bayon.

The challenge starts off and Bayon jumps off to an early lead because Varner is busy faceplanting in the Cambodian sand. Been there.

The teams even up at the crate portion. But Bayon is able to take the lead again based on their pulling strength.

Kass and Kimmi start the puzzle for Bayon. Eventually they’re joined by Kelley and Peih-Gee.

Kelley and Peih-Gee tag out to Spencer and Shirin, Kass and Kimmi tag out to Jeremy and Joe.

Team Shirencer think they have it, but the women on the puzzle need to be a mirror image.

Joe and Jeremy get it right and win immunity. One-man-show Joe.

Seriously, can somebody put Joe to work ending world poverty?

As they head off, Varner spells it out saying Spencer and Shirin had a chance to save themselves, but failed.

Back at camp, Spencer is very happy to be in control of the game. Oh…there are those famous last words.

Varner breaks down the vote saying that Spencer is too smart and Shirin is too savvy. He doesn’t care which one goes first. Peih-Gee doesn’t seem to care either as long as she’s with the majority. Kelley’s into it too even though Shirencer was her original alliance.

Later, Shirin says she’s psyched that she has the numbers. Ah…this hurts my soul.

Shirin takes Abi aside to apologize, but Abi’s not having it. She tells Shirin that she’s now loyal to Terry because he had her back. She then spills the beans that everyone is targeting her and Spencer.

Shirin asks if they’re still together and Abi delivers the most evil smile I’ve ever seen and tells her that they’re done.

Spencer and Shirin try to sway Woo, telling him he’s too much of a physical threat. He doesn’t buy it. It doesn’t help that this is the first conversation Shirin and Woo have had.

In a sad bit, Spencer breaks down when he realizes he’s going to have to vote for Shirin. Sad lad.

That night at Tribal Council, Spencer says he remembers the game being awesome, but it’s really rough.

Shirin doesn’t remember it being awesome because of the fighting during her season. She knows she’s on the bottom and hopes she can fight her way back into the game.

Abi felt betrayed because Peih-Gee and Shirin were talking about her. She then credits Terry for rescuing her.

Probst points out that Mike rescued Shirin during her season. Well, Mike rescued Shirin from a face-to-face berating while Terry rescued Abi from a laugh. Kinda like comparing apples to trucks.

Shirin, however, appreciates the irony and wishes she had acted differently.

Spencer then comes out saying that he feels like a target because he talks about strategy too much.

Varner admits that one member of Team Shirencer is going home.

Spencer promises to be more of a team player and less of a strategist if he survives the vote.

Probst thinks it’s amazing that Spencer and Shirin are in the same situation they were in during their seasons.

Shirin thinks change is hard and she hopes to chip away at it. She admits to her mistakes and if she goes home she has nobody to blame but herself. She hopes for a third chance.

Voting Time: Shirin votes for Spencer, Spencer votes for Shirin, and the rest of the votes are sooper secret.

Probst does that thing where he tallies the votes, puts them in the most dramatic order, and returns.

We’ve got one vote for Spencer, three votes for Shirin, three votes for Spencer, one vote for Shirin, and the second person voted out of “Survivor: Second Chance” is…Shirin.

Verdict: I CALLED IT! When we were shocked that Varner turned against his pre-game alliance after the first Tribal, I asked Probst if Varner was trying to throw people off his scent…

Holmes: Any chance this is some kind of Keyser Soze move to throw people off of their scent and Varner will get back with Kelly and Terry?
Probst: (Laughs) I don’t know. Varner could be playing some kind of a long game and playing people. It’s a good question, but I don’t know.

Overall, another good episode. But, I can’t wait to see some of the others at Tribal.

Who’s Going to Win? Varner’s a cool customer. I’m sticking with my pick.

Power Rankings Results: Jenn had Shirin in spot seventeen, Max had her in spot thirteen, and I had her in spot fifteen. So, the current score is Team Jenn 17, Team Max 13, and Team Gordon 15.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

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Posted in RealityTV, survivor, TV News | Comments Off on ‘Survivor: Second Chance’ Episode 2 Recap: Gimme Shelter?

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 1: Wrist Watch Edition

September 29, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Kass is voted out this week, Jenn and Max will each receive nineteen points and Gordon will receive eighteen points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 0

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 0

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 0

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
 1. Terry: Still #1. Even though his alliance didn’t win last episode. I don’t care. He’s not going to be voted out anytime soon. And he looks like Mitt Romney. And that’s great.   1. Joe: Joe makes fire! Joe does yoga! Joe catalyzes the sexual awakening of a fellow contestant’s daughters! I’m starting to wonder if this whole season isn’t just a ploy to get Joe more Instagram followers.
  1. Kelley: In a season that’s bound to have big moves and and big twists, the immunity idol is more valuable than ever. Kelley was clearly the star of the episode by keeping her head off of the chopping block and an idol in the pocket of her shorts. Sneaky sneaky!
  2. Kelley: She has an idol now. I was so stoked when she finally grabbed that thing. Totally double rooting for her now. She’s not on the chopping block for next week either, that’s definitely going to be Shirin or Spencer or Varner. Or maybe Abi. Probably not Abi though. Whatever. She’ll be fine.
  2. Jeff: For someone who first played way back in season 2, Varner might be the most New-School player out there. Following Ta Keo’s immunity challenge loss he abandoned his pre-game Conference Call Alliance in favor of a partnership with the Beach People. And previews for this week suggest he’s already prepared to flip back. Varner’s balls are to the wall. His ass cheeks are between the pinchers of a crab. And he’s playing his heart out. But does he have a plan? I’m not sure. All I know is that I can’t wait to see what he does next.
  2. Ciera: Vytas’s early trip home was bad news for the Baskauskas family’s “Survivor” legacy, but good news for Ciera. Having him on the other side was always going to put a target on her back. A “Let’s get rid of Rachel to get to Tyson” target. Now she’s truly free to play any game she wants.
  3. Andrew: I think the Savage/Fishbach tree vs stick montage was one of the best and funniest things I’ve seen in ages on “Survivor.” It’s nice to see funny (expletive deleted) instead of constant STRATEGY STRATEGY STRATEGY being thrown down our throats. I like Andrew so far. He seems strong and smart and in a good position currently.   3. Kelley: Drew Christy was right: Kelley Wentworth is dangerous. Now I can’t help but wonder what else Drew was right about. I feel like we need to go back and review the San Juan Del Sur tapes for other nuggets of badass wisdom that we might have ignored at the time.
  3. Peih-Gee: Normally the first boot will show you where alliance lines break, but I don’t buy it. I think we’ve got Terry/Kelly, Spencer/Shirin, Peih-Gee/Kelley, and Jeff, Woo, and Abi as floaters. Of those, Peih-Gee and Kelley seem the safest and most likely to be swing votes.
  4. KEITH NALE: Keith is still doing just dandy. His tribe isn’t losing anytime soon. They just voted out a strong player. Why did they do that? Who knows? Should’ve been Abi. She was already showing her crazy.
   4. Jeremy: Unlike some of his fellow castaways, Jeremy doesn’t need to reinvent his game. Instead, he’s making subtle modifications to the strategy he employed in San Juan Del Sur. The key to his new gameplan is ripped directly from the playbook of “Survivor’s” most recent champion, Mike Holloway: use Joey Amazing as a shield. It worked for Mike. I can’t see why it won’t work for Jeremy.
  4. Keith: Keith and Jeremy putting their pasts behind them is the best thing for both of their games. Now let me be the millionth person to say, “Keith, stick with the plan.”
 5. Jeremy: Again. Jeremy is awesome, sweet dude, and I haven’t even seen anything “alliance-y” going on on this tribe so it leads me to believe they aren’t going anywhere near Tribal anytime soon. I mean really? There was no strategy even being shown on this tribe last episode. Its like they want us to know they aren’t going to lose.
  5. Keith: 99% of Americans prefer having a cup of coffee and going to work over doing Joega. You know what else 99% of Americans prefer? Keith Nale.
  5. Woo: There’s no reason to boot Woo at this point. He’s a floater who’s good at challenges. Now is the time to lock him down on your side.
 6. Ciera: Literally everyone from rankings #6-12 are in the “nothing is happening here” boat.
  6. Andrew: You might be Old School if… Your children told you whom to align with before you went out on the island.
  6. Monica: Ugh…nothing’s worse than ranking a team with no clear dominant alliance and no clue who has their idol. Is Monica in with the bro-liance? Too early to tell. I don’t see a reason to boot her early though.
 7. Monica: See above.   7. Spencer: Spencer’s learned an important lesson: strong social bonds can trump even the most brilliant strategic gambit. But did anyone else feel that Spencer came off as a little smarmy in his interactions with Terry?
  7. Tasha: If Tasha was bugging everyone in the pre-game, it certainly didn’t take long for some of them to get over it. She’s the least likely target in the bro-liance and she’s having a grand old time doing morning beach Joe-ga.
 8. Tasha: I have nothing to say here. Nothing happened. She’s not going home next.
   8. Terry: See “Andrew Savage.”
  8. Jeremy: Kudos to Jeremy for being a man with a plan and making it happen. He wanted big targets around him, and now he’s got them. He’d better not get complacent though; Joe, Tasha, and Savage are all capable of chicanery.
  9. Kimmi: I didn’t even see her in the episode.
   9. Tasha: It’s kind of a shame that Tasha’s most memorable moment from the first episode was her comment about Joe’s body.
  9. Kelly: Yeah, you blew the gate thing, but Joe’s been practicing for it his whole life. And I believe it was Vytas’s idea for you to do it in the first place. Now’s the time to pick up the pieces and figure things out. You’ve got plenty of time.
  10. Stephen: He’s searching for the idol and is pushing himself as the “nerd” so hard it’s upsetting me to watch. Try to blend in. Your tribe isn’t losing anytime soon. Just don’t stand out too much. Or run a whole thing with the ladies to get out the giant challenge men. Do something. Do nothing. Do less. Do more. I don’t know. I don’t think he’s going home this week.
   10. Monica: Monica got a courtesy confessional in episode one. She’s off everyone’s radar. And that’s a great place for her to be.
   10. Jeff: Varner…you were delivered onto a tribe with all of your pre-season buddies! What went wrong? Were you worried about a tie? Luckily for you, I don’t think that bridge was completely burned. Going immediately to Tribal freaked you out! You weren’t going to pick rocks! Something bit your behind!
 11. Joe: Coming on too strong, my boy. You’re making the same mistakes you did last time. Don’t make fire for everyone! Don’t lead the tribe in group yoga! DON’T DO THAT. YOU ARE A TARGET. START BEING BAD AT THINGS OR YOU ARE GOING HOME.
  11. Ciera: No, really. I wasn’t joking. She voted out her mom.
   11. Andrew: Oh, “Macho Man” Andrew Savage…those leader speeches are going to get you in trouble. Not this week, but someday.
 12. Peih-Gee: She was at the wrath of Abi’s insane bracelet hunt. That’s about all that happened with her.
  12. Kelly: Sometimes I think Kelly would have been happier on a Discovery Channel show.
  12. Terry: Ya got, Varner Bombed! That Tribal was a tough one. Your pre-game alliance just sent the brother of your former rival, now bestie home. Fortunately, you have a very fractured tribe. Gotta try to get Peih-Gee to target Abi.
  13. Abi-Maria: Man, Abi get your (expletive deleted) together. It’s day one. No one stole your (expletive deleted) bracelet. You know how mixed up things can get one day one with stuff and things. Jesus. You’re showing your crazy right off the bat and almost went home for it. You probably should have gone home for it. I would’ve voted for you. Come on. Reel it in. I like you. Reel it in and stick around. You made it past the first vote so that means you have some people on your side so you might be able to turn this around.   13. Shirin: Shirin wanted a scalp, and boy did she get one. But did her aggressive gameplay rub her tribe mates the wrong way? When Spencer described his fellow Ta Keos as “crazy” it was Shirin’s image that appeared on screen. And in the preview for this week Varner vents about how much he despises the Shirin-led Beach People. Shirin’s saving grace might just be the Brazilian Dragon. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. #TeamShirin forever.
  13. Kimmi: Why’s Kimmi this low? I dunno. She seemed to be bugging people in the pre-game. But when I was at camp, she was a hard worker and seemed to be getting along with everyone.
  14. Woo: He seemed blindsided last Tribal. It’s night three. Don’t be blindsided at the first Tribal. That doesn’t look good.
   14. Stephen: If you loved Cochran, you’ll tolerate Stephen Fishbach! No doubt about it, Rob Cesternino’s better half had a rough start to his second chance. Still, the parallels between Stephen’s first three days in Cambodia and Cochran’s first three days in Caramoan are enough for me to hold out hope that Fishy (or “Fish,” as Andrew inexplicably calls him) will turn things around. If not, maybe we can at least look forward to a secret scene in which he talks about pooping in his pants.
  14. Spencer: Shirencer won the day, but there’s a big fight ahead. If Jeff feels bullied and wants to go back to his original crew, the target is going to be on you and your buddy…
  15. Kelly: She let down her team but they don’t seem to care. I would care. And then her voting didn’t work. That also sucks.
  15. Woo: Is Woo’s cluelessness a put on, or is he really that out of touch with what’s going on in his tribe? In a cast that’s stocked with cerebral players, it almost doesn’t matter. Woo is canon fodder.
  15. Shirin: …and if challenge strength comes into play, Spencer has a reputation for performing well.
  16. Spencer: See Varner. He’s getting too technical and “strategy and everything ‘Survivor’…we must play now!!!” on day three. Chill out, man. That is not going to help you at all with these old-school players who want to sleep in a shelter out of the rain on night one. Know your audience.
   16. Kimmi: When people like Jeremy and Andrew talk about keeping the tribe strong they are talking about voting off people like Kimmi. Fortunately for Kimmi by voting out Bad Aras the lunatics on Ta Keo may have insured that she won’t see council before a potential swap.
   16. Joe: Sorry, one-man-show Joe. In my book you are never safe. Even with the numbers and an idol in your pocket and a handwritten note from Jeff Probst in your pocket.
 17. Shirin: See Varner. Foreshadowing from previews. Varner made a couple comments about her being a mile-a-minute talker and not slowing down and being GOGOGO the whole time. That probably means she’s doing what she did when the tribe swap last season happened, and talking a ton and annoying the (expletive deleted) out of the others. Please don’t go home, Shirin. But, I am now worried.
  17. Peih-Gee: Poor Peih-Gee. By no fault of her own she found herself the RC to Abi’s Abi. I mean, how could Peih-Gee, a designer of fine, hand-crafted jewelry, be expected to resist the temptation to steal a $9 fake gold bracelet?
   17. Stephen: That bro-liance is going to be tough to crack. Who doesn’t have a solid reason to stick with it? Stephen needs a tribe swap in the worst way.
 18. Jeff: I hate to do this, I do, because I love Varner and I want him around forever. But because of his performance at Tribal last week, the “scenes from the next episode” (where it seems like this dude is getting annoyed with Shirin and Spencer and the “young folk”), and going against his agreement with Terry and the old schoolers, he’s put himself in either a great position or a horrible one. I’m going with horrible one. You don’t make power plays at the first Tribal. You don’t do that. That’s how you get voted out. I think he’s a loose cannon, and that either means he’s next or the ones he’s targeting are.
  18. Abi-Maria: I’d be willing to wager that we hear Abi utter her catchphrase “You’re dead to me” during this week’s cold open. The problem for Abi is that she might already be dead to her fellow Ta Keo tribe members.
  18. Kass: The next challenge is going to come down to that puzzle that gave Tina Wesson fits in “Survivor: Blood vs. Water,” so it’s not a slam dunk for Bayon. If the people who aren’t in the bro-liance are in an anyone-but-me mood, Kass could be on her way out.
  19. Kass: She wasn’t even on the show last week? Come on, give America what it wants. Also it’s painfully obvious her tribe isn’t losing but one can hope, right?
  19. Kass: Kass.
 19. Abi-Maria: The big question will be; Jeff Varner made his bed. Will he lie in it? If Peih-Gee/Kelley, Shirencer, and Jeff decide to stick together, Abi is a really easy vote.

Posted in RealityTV, survivor, TV News | Comments Off on ‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 1: Wrist Watch Edition

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