Posts Tagged ‘jenn brown’

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Final Round – Wentwin? Jeremillionaire? Big Spender Spencer?

December 16, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Finale Rules: For the finals, each player will rank the remaining Survivors in the order in which they think they will finish. The first contestant is the winner, the second received the second most votes at Tribal, etc. Each correct placement is worth two points.  The person with the most total points for the season will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week:  Jenn had Abi in spot six, Max had her in spot three, and I had her in spot four. The current standings are Team Jenn 130, Team Max 124, and Team Gordon 119.

Jenn’s Score = 130

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 124

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 119

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Jeremy: I’m surprised they didn’t just give him the money at the start of the season.
  1. Jeremy: Congratulations, Jeremy! Not only have you managed to make it to the finale with a strong alliance, a hidden immunity idol, and jury goodwill; according to the edit, you haven’t so much as burped or farted for the last 36 days. Jeremy is a human being, and human beings aren’t perfect. Jeremy the “Survivor: Cambodia” castaway, on the other hand, has been nothing short of golden. When was the last time we saw someone get so positive an edit? I’m thinking Kim Spradlin.  1. Spencer: He’s been fighting an uphill battle since Varner Varner’d him on day six. He’s the most likely person to win these last few immunities. And, axing Jeremy is a move that many jurors will respect. He won’t sweep it, but if things go the way I’ve predicted (and they rarely do) he could be the next sole survivor.
  2. Kelley: I think one of these top two are the winners, whichever one makes it to the FTC. There’s no way someone would bring both of them, and there’s no way they would bring each other, so we shall see.
  2. Spencer: Spencer has won challenges, made Big Moves™, and demonstrated emotional growth. So why won’t he win? Because Jeremy.
 2. Kelley: Right now the belief seems to be if Kelley or Jeremy get to the end, one of them will win. I’m not totally sold on that. Stephen said he didn’t appreciate how good of a job she had been doing until he watched her on TV. That being said, I still think she’ll have some jury love from Kass, Ciera, and Abi…ooo…I don’t know…it’ll be close…
  3. Tasha: She’s basically the Dan or the will of Her season. You’d be stupid to not have her at Final Tribal Council, because I think there’s zero chance she could win.
  3. Tasha: Tasha has played a perfect game…if her desired outcome was the make it to the final three and not receive a single vote. Exit interviews aren’t canon, but few of the eliminated castaways have had kind words for Tasha. What has Tasha done to rub so many people the wrong way? I understand why Varner has an issue with her, but why are the rest of the Second Chancers so anti-Tasha? It probably didn’t help that her number one adversary was the mayor of Ponderosa…  3. Tasha: Tasha actually might have a vote or two against Kelley and Spencer. But, with a certain Chaotic Juror working against her, she’ll have an uphill battle.
  4. Spencer: Spencer is great, and has played a great game. However, I don’t think he has a chance up against Kelley or Jeremy.
  4. Kelley: It’s going to hurt when Kelley doesn’t make it into the final 3. Along with Jeremy, Kelley has dominated this season. But while Jeremy has never experienced true adversity, Kelley has had to scramble since the beach people disintegrated way back on day six. To me, that makes Kelley’s performance even more impressive than Jeremy’s. Spencer, Tasha, and Jeremy are savvy enough to recognize that she crushes Spencer or Tasha in a jury vote and makes things uncomfortably close for Jeremy. And so for no reason other than the fact that she would probably win Kelley will not be able to swing the numbers in her favor and will become the final member of the jury.
 4. Jeremy: No idols can save you at final four, Jeremy. And, everyone knows you’re the most dangerous person out there. Ciera said that going to final three with Jeremy was a guaranteed second-or-third place finish. Stephen knew this, and that point will not be lost on Spencer and Tasha. If he doesn’t win that final-four immunity, this will be where his impressive run ends.
 5. Keith: Keith is fantastic, I love him. He’s been my favorite all season and I can’t wait to see him and Big D in a couple days. But I cant see anyone letting him get to the Final Tribal Council not because Jeremy and Kelley wouldn’t beat him, I just don’t see it happening. He’s a little too good at challenges and a little too likable. I think if he loses a challenge he will be next to go.
   5. Kimmi: According to Jeff we’re about to see something that we’ve never seen before in 31 seasons of “Survivor.” Whatever happens I think it will have something to do with the remaining idols and is going to lead to Kimmi going home.  5. Kimmi: Probst said we’re going to see something we’ve never seen before during the finale. The theory that makes the most sense to me is Kelley and Jeremy both play their idols and cancel out all of the votes. So…then what? A revote with Jeremy, Kelley, and the challenge winner safe? Spells bad news for the fourth person in the four-person alliance.
 6. Kimmi: I don’t think there is any way her and Keith aren’t the first two out of the final episode. No way.
   6. Keith: Imagine Keith makes it to day 39 and then in a stunning speech to the jury reveals that his country bumpkin persona is nothing more than an act. “When I said ‘No logic whatsover’ at the final seven reward challenge,” Keith explains to the jury with perfect, erudite diction, “that was the cognitive equivalent of Tyson’s sling in ‘Blood vs. Water.’ I have something to confess – I’m not a firefighter. I’m actually a professor of Comparative Literature at LSU Shreveport.” Unfortunately that’s not going to happen. What is going to happen is that there is going to be an IC that involves a puzzle or memory. Keith will lose and be sent to the jury.  6. Keith: Oh Keith. I love ya, buddy. Must be frustrating to never vote for the person who is eliminated. Unfortunately, I don’t think the rules will allow you to vote for the first person who will go home on Wednesday either.
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‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 11 – Boys on the Side? Edition

December 9, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Kelley is voted out this week, Max and Gordon will each receive one point and Jenn will receive two points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn, Max, and Gordon all had Joey Amazing in spot eight. The current score is Team Jenn 124, Team Max 121, and Team Gordon 115.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Jenn’s Score = 124

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 121

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 115

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Jeremy: At this point they should just give Jeremy the money. Also “it’s a boy” made the entire country tear up. I also love Val as much as I love Jeremy. And I thought he would be challenge threat #1 after Joe left but he’s not! It’s Keith! And I love that.
  1. Kelley: As soon as I saw the first flashes of his traffic-cone orange Ephrata shirt through the Cambodian brush I was certain that Kelley was toast. The curmudgeonly Dale Wentworth has a penchant for making waves around camp. My initial thought was that we were about to see Dale rip into Kimmi for undercooking the rice or start an argument with Spencer about why Trump is more qualified for the presidency than Jeb Bush. And yet somehow Dale’s visit went off without a hitch. If Kelley can survive a family visit from @farmguy69 she can survive anything.  1. Kelley: She’s got an idol and she’s making the right moves at the right time. Kelley is killing it. My only concern for her is; does the jury appreciate what she’s done? They should, but has she been playing it too close to the vest? Too sneaky, sneaky?
  2. Kelley: She’s still one of my favorites. Finally got rid of Joe, is in a great position with her alliance, and will probably make it to the end because SHE ALSO HAS AN IDOL STILL.
  2. Spencer: Spencer has created for himself a number of potential paths to the final three. He’s at the point where he needs to be giving serious thought to who will be sitting next to him. I worry, though, that with all of those scenarios to run the old gamebot Spencer could re-emerge, and that he could lose his grasp on the social game he has worked so hard to build. Remember how great Mitt Romney was during the primary, and how awful he was during the election? Spencer, don’t be a Romney.
 2. Jeremy: Ya got me last week, Jeremy. Waterworks in the Holmes household the second Val said, “It’s a boy.” Now, back to the game. You’re actually in amazing shape for someone who’s had some rough votes. You’ve got an idol in your pocket and nobody is viewing you as a challenge threat. But, Ciera pointed out that nobody can beat you at the end. They’re coming for you, you have to figure out when.
  3. Keith: I love that Big D made an appearance this episode. She is just as great as Keith is, trust me I’ve met her. We all went to the Dallas aquarium once, and it was a blast. Anyway. There’s no way anyone is getting rid of Keith soon, so towards the top he will remain. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if he went to the final 4 or 3.
  3. Abi-Maria: Abi likes dark-haired gamer bros with severe ADHD. You like curly-haired mold clowns. That doesn’t give you the right to post something horrible on her Instagram. Apparently after last week’s episode some viewers felt compelled to take time out from mistaking “Onion” articles for real news stories to disparage and/or threaten Abi and Kelley on social media. The “Survivor” community stands united against this disgusting behavior. Don’t do it. And certainly don’t tolerate it.  3. Tasha: Nobody needs an all-female alliance more than Tasha. In fact, I’d wager that the only people she could beat at the end are Abi and Kimmi. And that’s a big “if.” A lot of the jurors are fond of Kimmi.
  4. Spencer: The “Survivor” gods love Spencer. So much airtime, so much positive edit about him becoming a being with feelings, so much love for his girlfriend.
  4. Tasha: Tasha handled the women’s alliance situation with all of the grace that Dan Foley exhibited when he explained how to talk to the ladies. Moments like that one suggest that Tasha doesn’t have the finesse to win this game.
 4. Abi-Maria: Abi’s going to the final three, isn’t she? Is there a downside for anyone to make that move? The only person on that island who would possibly vote for her is her mother. And I’m assuming she was sent home before final Tribal.
 5. Tasha: Tasha has a final-3 deal going, however she totally turned on her female alliance! She had the numbers with that alliance. Why would she do that? What happens when Jeremy tells the girls that Tasha ratted them out? WHAT HAPPENS?
   5. Jeremy: Option 1: Jeremy wins immunity and he, Tasha, Spencer, and Kimmi vote out Keith. Option 2: Jeremy loses immunity and idols out Keith. Either way, I think Keith is getting the big d this week.  5. Kimmi: An all-female alliance worked in Micronesia and it could absolutely work here. That is, if Tasha hadn’t run off and told her boys.
 6. Abi-Maria: Abi made it this far into the game, just like last time, and I am actually shocked after the start of this game that she has. But it seems like she’s had a bit of a turn around. However her alliance member just ratted her and the other girls out, so I’m thinking it’s Abi or Kimmi next, because…damnit, Tasha. Why don’t all girl alliances ever pan out (minus the black widows and also just me and Hali who did nothing really)?! I would love to see an all female final 8 or something. That’s the “Survivor” season I want to see. And that way there are no “male and female” immunity necklaces.
   6. Kimmi: In like Caryn, out like Monica? Suddenly Kimmi wants to do all the girls? I don’t buy it. Kimmi’s reaction to seeing her dad told me everything I need to know about her next move. She’s sticking with her game dad, Jeremy.  6. Keith: You went toe-to-toe with the Golden Boy week after week and now he’s gone! And the reward for your amazing feat is…you’re the biggest challenge threat in the game. Whoops. The only thing working for you is that nobody is worried about you pulling any clever strategies out of your hat.
 7. Kimmi: Ditto to above. I wrote a bunch there and then realized I was writing it for both of them, so whatever. Also can I have Abi and Kimmi both tied for last? Gordon?
  7. Keith: When Keith talked about killing the Golden Boy I don’t think he had last week’s challenge in mind. I also don’t think he had given much thought to what Joe’s elimination would mean for his game. Sure, Keith now stands a much greater chance of winning immunity challenges. But as soon as doesn’t win he’s going to realize that the threat of Joe making an immunity run was all that was keeping him in the game.  7. Spencer: I really liked “Survivor’s” tie-in with “The Wiz Live!” last week where they gave Spencer a heart. His moment with his girlfriend was adorable. But, his courage in challenges and his strategic brains make him a threat. It could cause them to send him home.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 10: Family Matters Edition

December 2, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Keith is voted out this week, Max and Jenn will each receive three points and Gordon will receive six points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn and Gordon had Ciera in spot seven. Max’s Blue Collar buddies had her in the first spot. Max and Jenn had Fishbach in spot nine. Gordon had him in spot eight. So, the current score is Team Jenn 116, Team Max 113, and Team Gordon 107.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Jenn’s Score = 116

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 113

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 107

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Jeremy: Dude played one of his idols for not him, which I think was an incredibly dumb move. Never, ever play your idol for others unless your name rhymes with a cheese.  However, he still has an idol, everyone still loves him and he still has the numbers. He hasn’t even won a challenge but it’s like he cannot lose.
  1. Kelley: Things move fast in “Survivor: Second Chance.” One week you’re on the bottom, the next you’re casting spells that annihilate the best-laid plans of nebbish Wizards and guys who played college football. It’s not the magical idol in her pocket that makes Kelley powerful – it’s the fact that she’s summarily eliminated the opposing alliance’s figurehead and chief strategist while simultaneously rallying floaters like Abi and Keith to her side.  1. Kelley: Stephen’s gone and Joe got a couple of votes. Does Joe think both of those votes came from Stephen? Probably not. So, right now Joe probably trusts Kelley and Spencer the most. So, between her newly found alliance strength and her newly found idol, Kelley is like the original NES – she’s playing with power.
  2. Kelley: Like I’ve said before, I like this chick. She’s sneaky, manipulative, and also has an idol, just like Jeremy. However, I don’t think she’s in AS good of a position as Jeremy is, so that’s the only reason she’s #2 and not #1.
  2. Spencer: Spencer’s two biggest rivals in the game were Stephen and Joe. Last week he eliminated one and saved the other. I’m calling it right now: this week he takes a page from Tony’s book and circles back for Joe. Side note: wouldn’t it be amazing it Tony wrote a book?
 2. Jeremy: You voted for your main meat shield and your brain shield was the one sent packing. If you didn’t have that spare idol you’d be way lower on this list.
  3. Keith: Keith is still hands down my favorite.
  3. Keith: Henh henh henh henh henh henh henh henh.  3. Kimmi: Oh really, “Survivor” editors? Stephen and Kimmi are best friends? Thanks for the heads up. Those little surprises are making ranking this season a nightmare. Anywho, there are bigger fish to fry at this point.
  4. Abi-Maria: I haven’t seen much from her strategy-wise lately, but I’ve loved her comments about the other players. I don’t think she’s next, but I don’t think she’s long for the game.
  4. Abi-Maria: I keep thinking that at some point everyone is going to reach the end of their ropes and decide that they can’t stand to play another day with Abi. Wouldn’t it make everyone’s life easier to just get rid or her? Think about it: everyone sticks around for another round and doesn’t have to worry about being called “Poopy Pants” or “Debbie Downer” or being told to “Get over it!” Abi has become an integral part of Kelley’s game. That’s good for Abi, but is it good for Kelley?
 4. Abi-Maria: Stephen claims his pants were completely poop free. But, that’s exactly what someone with poopy pants would say.
 5. Spencer: I loved his betrayal against his fellow “Survivor” nerd. However, I think it was dumb to not vote out Joe the second you got the chance. I mean, at this point Joe cannot win the game because there’s just, zero strategy there, but still. Get rid of him so MAYBE other people will have a chance to win stuff.
   5. Tasha: Tasha hasn’t been on the right side of a vote since Kass’s tribal council. She needs to course correct ASAP if she’s going to have any hope of placing higher than fifth.  5. Spencer: Lookit Spencer playing the floater role to a tee once again. He’s voted against Kelley, now he’s voting with her. He’s lining up a great speech for the final Tribal, but who’s going to take him? Jeremy and Tasha won’t trust him, and Kelley and Abi won’t want to face him.
 6. Tasha: Mark my words, Tasha will be taken to the end because literally everyone can beat her at this point.
   6. Kimmi: Kimmi lost more than the numbers in that last vote – she also lost her Island Husband. Kimmi is definitely exposed. Fortunately for her there are two much bigger targets who still need to be taken care of before she is in real danger.  6. Keith: Who’s hand are we seeing wearing that pulse thingamabobber in this week’s preview? Is it Keith’s? Please be OK, Keith.
 7. KimmiThe “Survivor” gods will never allow her in an episode for more than ten seconds. One day I hope to understand why, but for now… well.. I got nothing. 
  7. Jeremy: With Stephen gone what’s to stop the remaining castaways from ganging up on JC? Jeremy’s going to need to win – or play Val’s second hidden immunity idol – to make it past this round. If he does play idol number two he’ll be a sitting duck at the next TC.  7. Tasha: Kimmi, Tasha, and Jeremy all voted with Stephen last week. Of that trio, one has an idol, one’s of them isn’t a challenge threat, and one of them is. I think that challenge threat is in trouble.
 8. Joe: How did he survive that vote? Oh yeah, someone was dumb. Regardless, I still think if Spencer doesn’t do a completely dumb move (in my opinion, because Stephen was just dead in the water to me at that point. He was crying for Christ’s sake.) Joe will be gone next.
 8. Joe: Ever since the first challenge in “Worlds Apart” I’ve been telling anyone who would listen that the only solution to the Joe Problem is to vote him out the first chance you get. And yet somehow the Golden Boy managed to survive that last tribal without a necklace and with a voting advantage aimed at his manbun. Did Joe’s social game save him, or was he spared simply to get rid of the real threat, an advantage-wielding Know It All? Something tells me that Spencer is coming for him next…
 8. Joe: I’ve got Stephen saying you’ve got crazy good strategy and Ciera saying the opposite. The thing is, you’re such a physical threat, it probably doesn’t matter who’s right. You’re never safe.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 9: Blue Collar Takeover Edition

November 25, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Stephen is voted out this week, Max and Jenn will each receive nine points and Gordon will receive eight points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Kelly in fifth place, Max had her in sixth, and Gordon had her in fourth. So, the current score is Team Jenn 100, Team Max 103, Team Gordon 92.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

A Second Important Note from Max Dawson: Happy Thanksgiving! I’m spending the holiday with a few of my “Worlds Apart” castmates. Here are their thoughts about the remaining castaways…

Jenn’s Score = 100

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 103

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 92

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Jeremy: The guy has two idols. Come on. At a certain point it becomes just unfair.
  1. Ciera: Kelly Remington – Ciera’s playing hard, and she has to because she’s at the bottom. I like that she’s telling people to play, to get real.

Mike Holloway – So many people are not going to see her as a threat until it’s too late. Meanwhile she’s got so much power. Last week Stephen bit into the apple and he basically surrendered his power to her.

Sierra Dawn Thomas – I see Ciera as like Rodney from our season. She’s making a lot of noise and yet no one seems to be that worried about her. You might want to take her to the end, but if you do you might regret it later.

 1. Keith: There are two episodes this week, so I have to keep the people who are most likely to survive two Tribals high in my rankings. So, last week’s vote probably left poor Keith scratching his head. But, if he keeps quiet, he’ll be fine. Now’s the time to take out the big guns.
  2. Keith: Keith is just doing Keith and it’s just fantastic. No one is going to blindside Keith anytime soon. Why would they! He’s great and just cruises on thru the game and I love it.
  2. Jeremy: Mike – Having two idols might seem like a clear path to the end. Right, Gravedigger James? I don’t know how much you can tell from the edit, but we’re seeing the game from Jeremy’s perspective…a lot.
 2. Kimmi: Eliminating Joe’s right-hand woman should send a clear message to the Joe-ga master. Knowing his right hand is ready to make big moves should put Jeremy on high alert. Now’s the time for the Kimmis and Keiths of the world to hang back and let them duke it out.
  3. Spencer: The Survivor gods love this guy. And he’s very smart and also playing super hard. Stephen getting that advantage was the best thing for Spencer, because now the heat is over on the other side of the two.
  3. Kelley: Kelly– She did well with her idol. She played it amazingly.Sierra – She’s not afraid to make a move. The witches are more powerful than the others even realize, and Kelley is a big part of the reason why.  3. Jeremy: Normally a guy packing two idols would be at the top of my rankings, but things have the potential to seriously break down. If anything, Stephen proving that he’s not willing to let the JTs of the world dominate the game should have Jeremy very concerned.
  4. Tasha: She hasn’t been making any moves really and it’s boring. I want to see more happening, and this late in the game you gotta do SOMETHING if you want to win. I don’t think she has a chance of winning, so she’s not a threat, so she’s not going home. You wanna keep people like that around.
  4. Keith: Sierra– I like where Keith is sitting right now. He’s not causing controversy.Mike – He’s almost forgotten, which is insane because he’s always the one on Joe’s tail in every immunity challenge.  4. Spencer: With all of the talk of voting blocs and the evolution of the game, Spencer might be the one who’s doing it best. More than anyone else, he can play the “I was on the bottom and scrambling” card at final Tribal.
 5. Abi-Maria: These three girls finally made it happen and stayed safe.    5. Abi-Maria: Mike– Ugh. Another person who didn’t learn anything from her first season.Kelly – I agree. Is everyone else sick of Abi? To be fair I guess she has toned it down a little bit in the last few weeks.Sierra – But she’s still playing. Despite everything, she’s still in the game. She’s clearly doing something right.  5. Abi-Maria: Abi is in an interesting position in that she’s the coven member most people secretly want to take to the end. If the main alliance manages to patch things up, they’ll target Kelley or Ciera first.
 6. Kelley: But now people know they can talk their way into anything…
   6. Spencer: Kelly – He’s working hard, because he’s always on the bottom. Mike – That’s one thing I respect about Spencer; he has no quit in him. He’s actively searching for a way to improve his position every week.

Sierra – Strategically he is in a great position.

Kelly – And what he did with Kass? Amazing.

 6. Tasha: Well, it’s never good news when the person you vote for stays in the game. Maybe that means you aren’t as close with Jeremy as you thought you were. How close are you with your former Brainy buddy Spencer?
 7. Ciera: …and that will make everyone paranoid of them.   7. Kimmi: Mike – Kimmi’s awesome. But she’s not performing well in challenges. I think that’s going to matter with this jury. The days of Sandra not winning a challenge and still winning the game are over. Sierra – She’s playing a safe game, and she’s not a physical threat, so she’s not in any real danger. But in my eyes she hasn’t made the kind of big move that she’ll need to get jury votes.  7. Ciera: Ciera’s gift is that she can stay alive long enough for a bigger problem to present itself. You think Joe is targeting the coven now? You think Jeremy’s more worried about Ciera than Stephen?
 8. Kimmi: It’s like they don’t even want to feature her in episodes. 
 8. Tasha: Mike – Being on the brains tribe her first season you would think that she would be smarter about her gameplay. I’m just not seeing her display that game intelligence that I saw from her in her first season. Last week she was like Woo. She had no idea what was going on. Sierra – Her alliance is non-existent now. She went from the top to the bottom in a matter of three days. That’s scary. But that’s “Survivor.”  8. Stephen: Stealing a vote is a lot cooler than an extra vote. However, it’s nothing an idol or two can’t handle.
  9. Stephen: Having an advantage in the game that everyone knows about is like the opposite of having a hidden immunity idol. It makes you dangerous, makes people suspicious, and then they get paranoid and then they vote you out because an unknown advantage is terrifying in this game.
  9. Stephen: Kelly – Fishbaaaach. You don’t cry on “Survivor.”Mike – I get the emotion, because he’s loved this game for so long and wants to win so bad. Yet he doesn’t have a JT who will protect him until the end of the game this time.

Sierra – I love that he’s passionate, but when you’re in the game you don’t want to be surrounded by that. It drives you crazy. I love watching him, but I wouldn’t be able to put up with him out there.

 9. Kelley: I’m predicting that one of two things will happen during the first vote on Wednesday; either the Meat Shield alliance is dead and Joe, Jeremy, and Stephen are targets. Or, the Meat Shields patch things up and go after Kelley.
  10. Joe: There is zero chance in hell that he will not be voted out if he loses. IF HE LOSES. WILL HE EVER LOSE?!
   10. Joe: Mike – Joe is in the absolute worst position in the game. I told him before he went out, “When you get to the merge you cannot go on your winning streak early. You have to let people think that they can beat you.”Sierra – He’s just being Joey Amazing. He’s winning challenges, cooking, keeping the camp running. But he’s not making the relationships he’s going to need to survive a week where he doesn’t have the necklace.   10. Joe: There’s going to come a day when the immunity challenge won’t involve balancing, or hammock-building, or being handsome. And on that day, Joseph, your number may finally be up.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 8: Wentworth the Wait Edition

November 18, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Joe is voted out this week, Gordon and Jenn will each receive eleven points and Max will receive eight points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Savage in spot ten, Max had him in spot four, and Gordon’s pinch hitter Gregory McBean had him in spot eleven. So, the current score is Team Jenn 95, Team Max 97, and Team Gordon 88.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Jenn’s Score = 95

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 97

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 88

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Keith: Keith is up here purely for the best scene I have ever seen in an episode of “Survivor.” That tuk-tuk ride was just great, and pointless, and finally something more than just constant strategy on the show. I love it when the producers show the fun things that happen too, not just all business. Also Keith is going nowhere. Has his name ever even been brought up? No way. Everyone loves Keith. Keith is sticking around.
 1. Jeremy: Andrew: “Jeremy, we need to vote Stephen out. He’s a spineless, lying, amoral, pantywaist. And get this – on day 1 I asked him what his favorite NFL team is and he said he doesn’t have one. What kind of man doesn’t have a team?”
Jeremy:
(Swinging in hammock.) “Nah, bro.”
Andrew:
“OK. Let’s vote out someone else then. That’s probably a better idea anyway.”
Jeremy:
(Continues to swing in hammock.)
 1. Jeremy: So, Jeremy is pretty much running the show. And, if there’s a breakdown around camp he won’t be the first target. Looks like his “meat shield” plan is working. Throw an idol on top of that and this fireman is on fire, man.
  2. Jeremy: Jeremy technically got Savage voted out. Sorta. I mean if he hadn’t nixed the Fishbach idea then Kelley would’ve played the idol for no reason and Savage would still be around. But this shows what a power he has over the groupthink, and he does it subtly. AND HE HAS AN IDOL STILL. Jeremy is just really kicking ass this season. Even if he sucked at this past immunity challenge. And now he knows that Kelley knows where idols are hidden. Maybe he can find a way to use that to his advantage. We shall see.
  2. Tasha: You can divide the remaining Second Chancers into four categories: 1) People who seem dead set on voting out a rival (Stephen, Joe). 2) People who are targets (Abi, Ciera, Kelley). 3) People content to have others tell them whom to vote for (Kelly, Kimmi, Spencer, Keith). and 4) People who the others come to for permission or guidance (Tasha and Jeremy). It’s good to be in category 4.
 2. Keith: If anyone could sneak to the end with two jerks and win based on their personality, it’s Keith. Problem is, are there two people left that people universally despise? Maybe they could bring back the Sprint Player of the Season. I’d love to see the tricked out tuk-tuk Keith could build with $100,000.
  3. Spencer: This was the first episode I saw that wasn’t like, SPENCER LOOK SPENCER IS ON THE SHOW LOOK AT SPENCER DOING THINGS AND TALKING SPENCER.  So that’s cool that there were other people on the episode. I like Spencer though, I think he’s a good guy and in a good spot right now.
  3. Keith: While I don’t think Keith is really a factor in the game at this point I do think that he is the most delightful human being to appear on American television in recent memory. Keith deserves his own spinoff. My pitch: a show about Keith having new life experiences. In one episode he gets a massage and tries spa food! In another episode he snuggles with a Broadway star! In another he eats a bagel and drives a tuk-tuk. The possibilities are endless.
 3. Kimmi: Hey, Kimmi! You know when Ciera is begging the people on the bottom of the dominant alliance to not settle for fourth and fifth place? She’s totally talking to you.
  4. Tasha: I don’t see her going home this week but I didn’t see much from her this past week either.  She seems to be in an alright spot, but I’m starting to get vibes that people will want to take her to the end for the easy win.
 4. Kimmi: Somehow Kimmi has put herself in the position that I thought Monica would occupy: the quiet and relatively level-headed accessory ally who stays above the fray and off her fellow competitors’ radars.
 4. Kelly: We all had awesome visions of Kelly Wiglesworth returning to right a fifteen-year wrong. Instead, she’s going to be someone’s vote until she’s no longer useful.
 5. Kelly: She won the group reward for everyone! That’s great! She got to be carted around in a tuk tuk by Keith, which may or may not be one of my life goals now. But that’s all we saw from her. I don’t know really where she stands in the alliances, but for some reason no one seems to think they’re on the bottom of the majority. I think she might be (after Joe, of course).  5. Spencer: I think last week contained the least amount of Spencer of any of the episodes in either of his two seasons. To me that means he is safe for the time being.
 5. Tasha: Joe’s the biggest challenge threat in the game. Then Spencer, then Jeremy and Tasha?
 6. Kimmi: The whole clam thing is still kinda getting to me. Like, definitely don’t eat all the food you have all at once. Don’t do that. Because then later you starve. I think that also rubbed some people the wrong way, and she might’ve pushed some buttons. However we didn’t see much from her this week, and like Kelly, she doesn’t seem to think she’s on the bottom. Again, I think differently.
  6. Kelly: Brett. Kelly. Rick. Carter. Brenda. Wiglesworth? At least let her describe how thin the lox were cut.
 6. Spencer: It’s kind of funny that Spencer is playing the same role he played in Cagayan. He’s voting with the dominant alliance, but he’s not really a part of them. He’s always in danger. That would make a compelling story for a jury…
 7. Abi-MariaHer comment to Savage made me laugh so hard. So hard. She’s in a bad spot being in the minority but Abi is scrappy AF and always finds a way to not go home. I think that will be the case again this week, but who knows how much longer she can keep it up.  I don’t. I don’t know the future. If I did I think I’d be a lot richer and have a private jet filled with baby tigers.   7. Ciera: Ciera knows that the Three Amigas’ long-term survival is contingent upon their ability to fan the flames of the Goofus and Gallant rivalry. Expect Ciera to blow on that fire with everything she’s got.
 7. Abi-Maria: Oh, Abi. Your “jury” comment to Savage as he was on his way out was comedy gold. Unfortunately it was also jury management lead.
 8. Kelley: I think what she did was an awesome move. I don’t know why people never split the votes anymore, they should’ve in my season and they should’ve in this situation, but they didn’t and, just like 30, the young blonde chick survives another day. However she is in the minority alliance, and no longer has an idol to protect her. She needs to start looking around challenges ASAP, or make some changes in alliances.
 8. Joe: Gallant makes hammocks for his entire tribe and wins all the challenges and says “please” and “thank you” and paints an amazing merge flag and has fantastic hair.
 8. Ciera: Poor Ciera is starting to sound like a broken record with her “Please, play to win” speeches. But, she’s not wrong. Right now her best bet is to play up the fact that odd votes are the best time to make moves. Maybe she can get Joe, Spencer, and one other person on her threesome’s side.
  9. Ciera: She too is on the bottom of the small alliance of ladies. Tried her damnedest to make some moves, but the boys weren’t budging. Luckily one of her buddies had an idol and… well didn’t do much for Ciera except keep her small alliance the same size.
  9. Stephen: Goofus looks for idols and hits the other tribe’s target and talks about people behind their backs and yawns when his friends tell their meet-cute stories.
 9. Kelley: You killed it last week, Kelley. But, the problem with the idol is it can only be played once.
  10. Stephen: This guy continues to be a target, got caught scheming, and had a wonderfully hilarious reaction to the reward challenge that he didn’t win. I swear this episode was just funny. I really enjoyed it. But back to Stephen. He doesn’t seem to really have a strong alliance, and the “bros” are targeting him after he suggested getting rid of Joe (which literally everyone else probably has too, but I digress).
 10. Abi-Maria: During the pre-merge stage we heard a lot of people talk about bringing Abi to the end as a goat. Most of the people who floated that idea are now on vacation in Vietnam. The players who are left aren’t thinking about goats. They’re thinking about bumping off the opposing alliance.
  10. Stephen: OK, we’re all ready to put this “Stephen returning was a mistake” talk to bed, right? He’s in the thick of it and is one of the five or six people left who are capable of winning. In fact, the only reason he’s this low is because Joe knows he was targeting him.
 11. Joe: Joe is gone the second he loses immunity, there is no way in hell anyone in their right mind would keep him around if they have the chance to get rid of him, not even his alliance. (And hell, now that Savage is gone, the meat shields are dwindling.) I’m just going to keep him down here for the rest of the season I think, because he has to lose sometime…right? RIGHT?
 11. Kelley: Kelley bought herself 3 more days in the game in the most spectacular manner imaginable. But what’s her plan now? Laying low is not an option. Kelley will need to make another big move to survive the next vote.
  11. Joe: The only time you’re safe is when you’re wearing a necklace, Joe.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 5: Everything’s Coming Up Jeremy Edition

October 28, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Abi-Maria is voted out this week, Gordon and Jenn will each receive fifteen points and Max will receive fourteen points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Monica in ninth place, Max had her in fourteenth, and Gordon had her in thirteenth. The current score is Team Jenn 57, Team Max 58, and Team Gordon 49.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Jenn’s Score = 57

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 58

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 49

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Terry: Terry is number one because I (expletive deleted) like him. He’s just a good solid guy just like my dad. Plus he’s good at challenges. I don’t see him going anywhere anytime soon.   1. Jeremy: Everyone should have Jeremy at the top.
 1. Jeremy: A medical emergency and a tribe swap in the same episode?! Are you kidding me, Probst?! Normally I’d just pull names out of a “Survivor” Hall of Fame coffee mug. But, anyone with an idol should make it through OK.
  2. Jeremy: Jeremy is a likable guy. Good at challenges. Has an idol. There is zero chance in hell that he is going home anytime soon.
 2. Ciera: I don’t know how Jenn keeps forgetting about Ciera.
 2. Kelley: See Jeremy.
  3. Kelley: I like her. She’s good at challenges and she has an idol and she likes Terry. She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
  3. Spencer: Spencer is just like me and that’s why I put him here. I like people who love the game.
 3. Tasha: And now I have to redo the colors on all of these Power Rankings graphics?! Before a merge?! Again, Tasha and Savage don’t have the challenge strength, but they have plenty of deadwood to vote out.
  4. Ciera: I didn’t watch Tocantins so I don’t even really know who this is. She hasn’t made any waves so she’s probably safe for now.
  4. Kelley: Kelley is in a great spot because she has an idol and a sense of wits about her. 
 4. Andrew: See Tasha.
 5. KEITH NALE: I really like Keith. He’s great. I think that great guys that people really like aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
 5. Joe: This is as high as I will ever put Joe.
 5. Stephen: When you kinda blow a challenge and your tribemates just laugh about it? That’s a good place to be. Kudos to Stephen for turning around his disastrous start.
 6. Andrew: Savage has a really good social game and I think he’s calling the shots at Angkor. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.
 6. Keith: Keith is doing great. What a likable guy. I think he will make it far, just not to the end.
 6. Kimmi: Kimmi went to Tribal for the first time in fifteen years and she totally called her shot. Was it a good call? Meh… Probably won’t matter in the long run. I’m thinking Kimmi is the least-threatening person out there. She’ll go a long way.
 7. StephenJust shut the (expletive deleted) up, man. Stop talking. Guys like this really drive me crazy. All they do is talk and think. Come on, man. I’m just like “Chill. I don’t care about anything. I just want to get drunk and eat cheese on a boat and pet Sunnycat.” And all they do is have ideas and talk about (expletive deleted) and worry about life and take Hali’s bed.   7. Tasha: Somehow her tribe avoided Tribal last week. This week they will be incredibly lucky if they do the same. However, her and Savage are somehow running it still.
 7. Ciera: We joke a lot here about not knowing what to write about people who aren’t getting a lot of camera time. But…for reals…we’re hitting episode 6 pretty soon. Give us more Ciera!
 8. Tasha: Tasha is not as in the loop as Savage but she’s good at challenges. I haven’t seen her make strong alliances with people. This should be fine.
  8. Stephen: This guy just likes to shoot himself in the foot. How do you go with Spencer and still come out more of the “Survivor” nerd outcast?
 8. Kass: Remember when everyone thought Kass would be the first target? She still could be, if she ever goes to Tribal.
  9. Joe: Joe. You win all the challenges and cook all the food and make camp life great for everyone and still find time to brush your hair 100 times before bed with a comb that you made from a (expletive deleted) abalone shell. Did you have to go and tell them that YOU ARE THE BIGGEST THREAT IN THE GAME? STOP BEING SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING. STOP BEING SO LIKABLE. STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU. I really like Joe so I think he’s fine for now, but if he makes the merge he is gone.
  9. Andrew: This guy is pissing off people. That’s how I got voted out. That’s how he’s going to get voted out.
 9. Spencer: Nothing but question marks for young Spencer. He proved he was loyal by voting with Jeremy. But really, what choice did he have? Also, how many alliance members does Jeremy need?
  10. Kimmi: Eh. I haven’t seen that much from her lately so she’s probably going home soon. I don’t see her going home anytime soon.
  10. Terry: I don’t know why I’m putting Terry below Andrew but I am. He’s still doing good for his alliance though. Even though his tribe will probably lose this week.
  10. Kelly: Kelly, Kelly, Kelly Kelly, Kelly… I’ve learned more about Kelly from Woody’s birthday song than I have by watching this show.
 11. Kass: Kass is really growing on me. She’s making friends with Kimmi and doing really good in the challenges. After the season maybe she and I will eat cheese together. She’s probably fine for now.
 11. Kimmi: She did something this week. Congratulations, you finally made it on TV.
  11. Terry: It’s bad news when a tribe of six people makes a final five deal and you’re not a part of it.
 12. Kelly: I don’t even (expletive deleted) know who this is.
 12. Woo: I think his tribe is going to lose and he or Abi are on the chopping block.
 12. Joe: You’re never safe, Joe. I still say you’re done the first time you lose an individual immunity challenge.
  13. Spencer: Dude got lucky. If he didn’t catch that fish he was probably going home. Guys like him talk too much. He just needs to chill and do good at challenges and he’ll probably be fine.
  13. Kelly: I don’t think we’ve seen any more footage of Kelly since Borneo.
 13. Keith: Maybe this is mean, but Keith strikes me as the Ta Keon most likely to have a medical emergency.
  14. Woo: He’s not doing that much so he could be going home.
  14. Abi-Maria: She has to be next out on her tribe. She got so lucky last week. But this week, I don’t think the cards will be in her favor.
 14. Woo: Tasha has got to realize that she can’t control Abi for another 20+ days. And, seeing that her buddy Spencer is safe means she has some options. Keep Woo for “challenge strength” even if it’s really to maintain your sanity.
  15. Abi-Maria: Abi. You have to chill out. You can’t make every story about you. Ummm…you have another person’s (expletive deleted) body part inside you? You have to get over your drama. BTW Monica was right – you can’t just take all of the clams. They don’t just reappear the next day. (Disclaimer: I work on boats so I know about the ocean.)
  15. Kass: Kass.
 15. Abi-Maria: The more time Savage and Tasha spend around Woo and Abi-Maria, the more they’re probably going to gravitate toward him.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 4 – Dragon Angkor Down? Edition

October 20, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

[xfinity-record-button id=”4814958312953183112″ program_type=”series”]

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Ciera is voted out this week, Gordon and Max will each receive seven points and Jenn will receive twelve points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn and Gordon both had Varner in spot seventeen. Max had him in fifteen. So, the current score is Team Jenn 48, Team Max 44, Team Gordon 36.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 48

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 44

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 36

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. KEITH NALE: I’m gonna put Keith up here cause I like him. Likable guys aren’t leaving the game right now.   1. Jeremy: Jeremy said it himself: he’s the JT to Stephen’s Stephen. By extension that makes the branch the avocado. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see what kind of bone-headed move Jeremy makes when he returns for Heroes Vs. Villains 2 as a universally-beloved perfect-game winner.
“Rodney–This is a huge turning point in this game…”
 1. Jeremy: Jeremy entered the game wanting a big-guy alliance, but now that he has an idol he won’t have to rely solely on meat shields. Keeping a strategist like Spencer or Stephen around could be a smart move, but which one?
  2. Jeremy: He lost the reward for his tribe and that made me sad. But he still has an idol and an alliance I think. I’m not sure. I forgot. But whatever, he’s great.
 2. Spencer: Alpha males use each other as meat shields. Beta males use each other as nerd shields. Spencer can easily turn any argument for voting him out into an argument for voting out Fishbach. “Sure I’m a student of the game! But I don’t write a blog for People Magazine and co-host a podcast with Rob Cesternino!” “Sure I’m a smart guy! But I didn’t go to an Ivy League school!” “Sure I’m strategic! But I never engineered a cross-tribal Exile alliance and flipped a 6-4 split in my favor!”
 2. Kelley: Kelley’s got to be thinking, “Hmm…with this group they give you bracelets instead of accusing you of stealing them.” Could this be laying the groundwork for a “Sneaky Sneaky Chaos” alliance?
  3. Kelley: I also would’ve thought Kass was up to something sneaky. However, I never would have thought she would do it in plain sight. Double however, your tribe cannot lose and you also have an idol so you’re here and the end.
  3. Joe: Last Wednesday 9.07 million viewers simultaneously found themselves contemplating the same mystery: What happened to Joe’s armpit hair? Wonder no more. As revealed on “Survivor With All the Fixin’s,” my weekly recap podcast for the On The Block Network, Joe does in fact have armpit hair. It just wasn’t visible on camera. Another behind-the-scenes insight revealed on the podcast: according to “Worlds Apart” champ Mike Holloway, Joe sat out the Hero Challenge in order to remind his fellow competitors that Terry is still a challenge beast. This is exactly the sort of thing I’ve been waiting to see from J.A.: an indication that he’s working to shift the target from his back to someone else’s.
 3. Joe: No Joe? No show. Are you telling me that there wasn’t any Joe-ga going on at some point during those three days? Or Joe crafting a refrigerator out of a hollow log?  Or Joe cuddling a puppy? Nothing? Look for ratings to drop this Wednesday.
  4. Terry: Terry!
  4. Keith: Terry sired the final three. Keith sired the reigning Louisiana Chicken Nugget Eating Champion. I know which accomplishment I’m more impressed by.
 4. Tasha: Honestly, Tasha and Andrew should both be way higher on this list. There’s no way either one of them is going home this week…
 5. Tasha: Girl, you need to get rid of Abi-Maria. Come on. Take Woo and then just vote her out. For the sanity of the tribe. And me. And the country.
 5. Terry: Terry’s performance during the Hero Challenge proved he’s barely lost a step since Panama. While good for the middle-aged male ego, his heroics showed everyone that he’s still a massive threat in the individual game.
 5. Andrew: …well…unless…Woo finds the Angkor idol. But that couldn’t happen, right? …right?!
 6. Andrew: I’m just surprised at how tired he was after the challenge because he played college football. 30 years ago.
 6. Kelley: Kass made Kelley a friendship bracelet for her birthday. Awww! How sweet! But what if it wasn’t a friendship bracelet? What if it were some kind of voodoo amulet that caused its wearer to develop a Boston accent, a horse trainer fetish, and an irrational hatred of hairdressers? What if the only way to break its spell were to drink the blood of a llama? I don’t know man you try writing these things every week and see what you come up with.
 6. Keith: Keith’s Ta Keo alliance has the numbers and Keith isn’t one to ruffle (or rustle) feathers. He’s fine. And adorable.
 7. Kass: That was really nice of her to make a bracelet. She’s making friends. I like that she walked up and gave the gift then immediately walked away. I would do that.   7. Ciera: I wonder if Ciera is voting for Donald Trump? Or maybe Ben Carson? I wouldn’t put either past her. I mean, you do realize that she voted FOR HER MOM!?!?
 7. Ciera: Not much camera time for Ciera last week, but how can you possibly compete with “Kass’s Fun Time Arts and Crafts Minute”?
 8. Spencer: He’s trying to throw one of the unseens under the bus. That’s alright I guess.
  8. Stephen: The good news: Stephen has an ally who wants him to feel like he’s in the loop. The bad news: Stephen has an ally who makes him feel like he’s in the loop by sending him on a wild chicken chase for an idol that’s already been found.
 8. Kass: So, I watched quite a bit of “Survivor: Cagayan” this week and I liked Kass a lot more than I remembered. Did her new vibe seep into my brain? Has it seeped into everybody’s brain? Well, everybody except for Max…
  9. Monica: GUYS, SHE SPOKE AGAIN. And it was about nothing really. I didn’t even listen. I just stared at her pigtails.
  9. Kimmi: Last week’s preview gave us a glimpse of the Kimmi we’ve all been waiting 14 years to see again. Here’s to hoping that this week proves to us that while you can take the girl out of Long Island you can never take the Long Island out of the girl.
 9. Stephen: Another solid week for everyone’s favorite stick-sparing, chicken chaser. He’s gotta be wondering what his next step is going to be. He won’t be the first to go if Bayon goes to Tribal, but will he still be Jeremy’s buddy when there’s a merge?
  10. Joe: That was the least I’ve ever seen of Joe in an episode. 13-year-old girls around the country are sobbing and going over his Instagram to see if they can re-like and re-comment on his pics in hope Probst will see it and then dedicate the rest of the season to just b-roll of him doing stuff.
  10. Kelly: I wonder if Kelly still thinks that alliances are gross?
  10. Spencer: It looks like some business goes down this week at Bayon that involves Kimmi and a mysterious “She.” Let ’em fight, Spence. You should be over in the corner whistling and not making eye contact.
 11. Stephen: Eh. I don’t think he’s in a good spot. But he’s not in a bad one and he’s not on a losing tribe so whatever.
 11. Andrew: I played college football. #humblebrag
  11. Terry: Man, why would they make Terry and Andrew square off in a hero challenge? That couldn’t have been good for Probst’s heart.
 12. Ciera:
 12. Abi-Maria: Toxoplasmosis is a parasitic infection transmitted by cats to their human companions. Toxo alters the functioning of the human brain in ways that cause carriers to behave irrationally or even self-destructively. Scientists suggest it also might be responsible for the strong attractions cat fanciers feel for felines. Infected humans think they’re lavishing attention on their adorable kitties. In reality they’re helping to propagate a nefarious brain parasite that’s causing them to make disastrous decisions.
 12. Kimmi: So, this week’s preview features Kimmi saying that some woman is a “snake in the grass.” Well, there are only two other women on her tribe…
  13. Kelly: I’ll write something about her when she’s in an episode.   13. Woo: What Woo said to Angkor: “Keep me because I’m loyal.” What Angkor heard: “Keep me because I’m clueless.”
 13. Monica: …this woman has been with Kimmi since day one. She doesn’t trust Spencer, but why should anyone? He’s known for being smart and savvy.
  14. Kimmi: See above.
  14. Monica: At long last, Monica speaks! Rejoice, right? Not so fast. The subject of her long overdue confessional? She doesn’t trust Spencer. Monica! Never, ever say that you don’t trust Spencer on camera! It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times: One minute you’re doing a confessional. The next you’re going from two tribes to three. Or having an early merge. Or eating dinner at Ponderosa.
 14. Kelly: …and while this woman is new to Kimmi, she doesn’t seem like the “snake in the grass” type. Color me intrigued.
  15. Woo: Again. He’s still at the bottom. His tribe is still definitely losing.  Nice speech though. I’m surprised he cared that much.
  15. Tasha: There’s a meme circulating on social media right now that perfectly encapsulates Tasha’s predicament. “Live by the Abi…Die by the Abi.” (Credit: Reddit user Jack_Payback) Thus far every castaway who has attempted to ride the dragon has been burned by her fire. If history is any indication then Tasha should be next.
 15. Abi-Maria: Unpredictabi.
  16. Abi-Maria: I am hoping so hard that they vote her out this episode. She’s just a drama machine and I cannot stand it. Get over your (expletive deleted). Get over little things like “you talked to him and I wasn’t right there why would you do that I don’t trust you ever.” CHILL OUT.
(Disclaimer: this is just how I feel about her current portrayal on the show. She is just lovely in person, I really like her. I’ve never played “Survivor” with her. The feelings are separate.)
  16. Kass: Kass.
  16. Woo: Woo actually brought it last week at Tribal. I was shocked. Now his only hope is an immunity win or an idol find. There’s no way to break Tasavage up and they won’t want Woo running around winning challenges after a merge.

‘Survivor’ Power Rankings Round 3: Did Varner Made Abi-g Mistake? Edition

October 14, 2015

"Survivor: Second Chance" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Jenn Brown and Max Dawson. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn. For example, if Woo is voted out this week, Jenn and Max will each receive sixteen points and Gordon will receive fourteen points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Jenn had Peih-Gee in spot fourteen, Max had her in spot sixteen, and Gordon had her in (yikes…) spot four. The current score is Team Jenn 31, Team Max 29, and Team Gordon 19.

Important Note: These rankings are not based on who is most likely to win the entire season. Players tend to rank the players based on their safety in the next episode.

Watch Full Episodes of “Survivor: Second Chance”

Jenn’s Score = 31

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance

Max’s Score = 29

Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell

Gordon’s Score = 19

Any questions for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

 1. Jeremy: Dude has an idol and is on a strong tribe. He’s making bonds with Spencer, he’s a likable guy. I think he’s gonna be around for a while. That idol grab was incredible. So sneaky. I like him.
  1. Jeremy: Jeremy marshalls the troops. Jeremy makes Joe his own personal meat shield. Jeremy bonds with his tribemates over Andrew’s meet cute story yet manages to conceal that the love of his life is pregnant with their third child. Jeremy forges ties with the lad who bested him for the title of Mr. Survivor. Jeremy looks like a boss while snagging nuBayon’s idol at the immunity challenge. You read Gordon Holmes. You’re a fan of this show. You do the math.
 1. Jeremy: Those San Juan del Surians are good at scooping up those immunity idols, aren’t they? So, he’s got the numbers on his sub-tribe.  And, his old Bayon buds are in power on their tribes. It’s looking more and more like the baby Val’s carrying is going to have his or her education paid for by CBS.
  2. Kelley: She also has an idol and is on a tribe that cannot lose. Her tribe is safe. The only reason she isn’t #1 is because I haven’t seen her really making strong alliances with people here.
 2. Kelley: Kelley Wentworth is proving that she is as good at playing “Survivor” as she is about retweeting every mention of her name. In addition, she gives amazing .GIF. Is anyone else getting excited about the prospect of her throwing Terry under the bus?
 2. Kelley: While Terry is banking on the new Ta Keo never losing a challenge, Kelley is taking a much more realistic approach. With her voting with the former Bayonians, they’ll have no problem splitting the vote to keep Terry from using his non-existent idol.
  3. Terry: I don’t see Terry going anywhere anytime soon.   3. SpencerWhen the new tribe divisions were revealed many superfans immediately assumed that Spencer and Stephen would gravitate toward one another, bro down, and possibly even fall in love. Please. “Survivor” fans hate gamebots. I can guarantee that Spencer and Stephen seethe when they think about how contrived each other’s confessionals must be. “He’s probably calling himself ‘a student of the game,'” Spencer complains to Kimmi while simultaneously rolling his eyes and making a side-to-side motion with his closed hand. “Tryhard,” groans Stephen as Spencer fastidiously folds and unfolds his cargo pants over and over again.
 3. Joe: Joe, Joe…Joe of the Jungle, strong as he can be. Joe, Joe, Joe of the jungle, watch out for that tree! That one over there that you just built a hammock on. And hollowed out and turned into a Keebler Elf bakery. And baked your tribe some delicious cookies. You’re the best, Joe. I’ll be sad when we talk the morning after you lose your first individual immunity challenge.
  4. KEITH NALE: I didn’t even see him this episode. Except for that amazing secret scene where he makes fun of Joe. Keith is also on a tribe that cannot lose. So he is safe and fine and hilarious and he’s great.
  4. Terry: These three guys must be…
 4. Tasha: I believe the measure of a good pro wrestler is if they can have good matches with bad wrestlers. It’s the same with “Survivor.” It’s always much more impressive when someone can make the most out of bad situations.
 5. Ciera:
 5. Keith: …having so, so much fun not…
 5. Andrew: People love to accuse “Survivor” of favoritism. But, if that’s the case, Andrew would’ve ended up on a tribe with five model/law students.
 6. Spencer: Spencer! You’re doing great making bonds and making friends and all the stuff you said you would do. It seems like nearly getting voted out was a great thing for you. Hopefully you keep this up, cause I’d like to see you go far. Also I really want to know what your girlfriend’s reaction was to that little segment.
 6. Joe: …playing “Survivor.”
 6. Ciera: Ciera is going to get to the merge. That’s bad news for people who aren’t Ciera.
 7. AndrewThis guy, along with Tasha, found his way from the bottom to the top with a very compelling argument and some luckily placed crazies. I think his tribe will lose and continue to lose, but I don’t think him or Tasha are going anywhere.   7. Ciera: There’s good invisible and there’s bad invisible. Ciera isn’t doing – or even saying – much. But at least she’s present. Attendance counts in “Survivor.”
 7. Keith: There’s got to be some kind of “Odd Couple”-esque sitcom with Joe and Keith in development at CBS, right?
 8. Stephen: This guy caught a lucky break. Made a new alliance, has a new tribe full of less testosterone-y men, he has Spencer. They can geek out on the show together. That’s great for him. I think he’s safe.
  8. Stephen: I’d like to have a word with Stephen’s crossfit instructor.
 8. Kass: Hey, what’re you doing this high up?
  9. Joe: I love Joe. And this is maybe the highest I’ll rank him unless he finds an idol. Because even though he is on an unbeatable tribe, I think he will be the first to go the second they get a chance. He’s too likable. He needs to stop smiling so much. He needs to cut off his manbun.
  9. Monica: Remember what I said about “good invisible” and “bad invisible”? I fear that Monica may have crossed over into “bad invisible” territory in the last episode, which is a shame. Monica generously forwent confessionals in Samoa so that Russell Hantz could have an opportunity to periodically explain his side of things to the audience. Let. Monica. Speak.
 9. Stephen: Everyone thinks the swap went in Stephen’s favor, but he’s still on the same beach as his biggest nemesis. Yes, this is a branch joke.
  10. Tasha: See Andrew Savage. The only reason she is this low is because I believe Savage to have a better social and physical game currently. He’s a talker more than she is, and that move at the challenge with Varner was a wildcard thing to do, which is a trait I could see coming back to bite her later in this game.
  10. Kimmi: I see what you did there, Varner. You dirty dog. After the challenge you conspicuously mouth “Kimmi and Monica” in Wigles’ direction so that nuBayon has a reason to be suspicious of them. That’s a very, very slick way of paying Kimmi back for the whole Australia tiebreaker thing.
  10. Monica: We don’t get to see much of you, which is a crime. I didn’t even have to re-do your graphic with a new tribe color.
 11. Monica: SHE HAD A CONFESSIONAL. Holy (expletive deleted). Even though it was monotone, mundane, and literally just stating two sentences of straight facts, she had a confessional. So, I guess she is on the show.
 11. Kelly: At this point nothing short of an outlandish disaster is sending nuBayon to Tribal Council any time soon. That said, if by some odd chance they should finish behind Angkor… LOL, who am I kidding. There’s no way. It’s just not happening.
  11. Kimmi: Wow…if I didn’t update these graphics I’d have almost all Bayon magenta in the top eleven.
 12. Kelly: It’s like they don’t want her or Kimmi to be on the show.
 12. Tasha: Make no mistake: Angkor is screwed. Not only are they subsisting on slop and sleeping in dentists’ chairs in the ice-cold Have-Nots room; they’re also contending with Peak Abi. If there’s anyone who can make it out of this disaster alive it’s Tasha, who knows something about surviving a disastrous tribe. Side note: the green pom-pom headband is so incongruous with Tasha’s no-nonsense demeanor and jacked quads. It’s like somebody put a five-year-old girl’s Easter headband on an inside linebacker.
 12. Abi-Maria: You know those wavy, inflatable arm guys you see at car dealerships and during NXT Women’s Champion Bayley’s entrance? You never know which way those wacky guys are going to go! The same thing with our buddy Abi. She says she’s loyal, but has yet to be loyal to her alliance. Ever.
  13. Kimmi: I still don’t know who this is or if she has had any impact on this game. My guess is no.   13. Andrew: For anyone who ever wondered what Jeff would be like if he were cast on a season of “Survivor” Andrew is your answer.
 13. Spencer: I’ve heard it said that the best way to get someone to like you isn’t to do them a favor, but to get them to do you a favor. That’s exactly what Spencer did with Jeremy. Well played, sir. Now, Spencer still has an uphill battle  because he’s surrounded by old Bayoners, but Jeremy might still be annoyed at Stephen over the whole idol hunting thing in episode two.
  14. Kass: She isn’t going anywhere.
  14. Abi-Maria: After the look Abi gave Woo last week following Peih-Gee’s ouster I’m afraid to even type Abi’s name on my computer, let alone critique her game.
 14. Woo: I’m sure you’ll be fine. Abi-Maria doesn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge.
  15. Abi-Maria: Guys, I have NO idea how Abi keeps sticking around. She is a loose cannon that has more emotional ups and downs than I do when I’m trying to get attention from my cat. And that is a (expletive deleted) ton of ups and downs. Trust me. My cat doesn’t like me most of the time. How she has made it this far blows my mind. Either people are going to carry her to the end because anyone can beat her, or someone is going to come to their senses and get tired of the seemingly ceaseless drama she creates and get rid of her.
  15. Jeff: “Survivor” breakdowns are typically the prerogative of forty-something female castaways. Hence Lisa Whelchel and Dawn filled their respective camps’ wells with their tears before and after every vote, while Monica Culpepper lost the ability to speak in anything other than the third person for 39 consecutive days. After the last immunity challenge, however, Varner’s mid-life manipause sent him into a Walter White-like fugue state during which he completely lost his grip on the game. A week ago I put Varner at number 1. This week I worry that he’s a hot flash away from playing himself out of his second chance. That said, Lisa, Dawn, and Monica all made it to the final 3, so…
 15. Kelly: Yeah, Angkor is in pretty bad shape with their lack of food, and shelter, and tribe harmony, and anything else. But, the next immunity challenge involves blindfolds, so it isn’t a slam dunk for any of the tribes. If new Bayon goes to Tribal, Kelly’s my bet for their boot.
  16. Woo: Woo, man…you are at the wrath of Abi-Maria. A girl who somehow cannot get voted out no matter how much (expletive deleted) she stirs up. It’s like she’s invincible. And now you’re on her list. You are in trouble. The only reason you aren’t last is because you contribute a great physical advantage for the tribe that Jeff doesn’t.
  16. Woo: DAN IS…WRONG AGAIN!
  16. Terry: Yeah, I know Angkor should lose every challenge from here to forever, but what if new Ta Keo throws one? What if Joe gets hit by lightning?
 17. Jeff: Varner. I love you, dude. You’re hilarious. But if your tribe goes to tribal next, I think you and Woo are on the chopping block. Your sneaking pissed off Tasha, one of the heads of your tribe’s alliance. You flipped your lid and let the other tribes know what was going on. Bad moves. You were on the top and now you’re on the bottom. I don’t want to see you go home but I think it’s happening, because I can’t see your tribe winning and I can’t see anyone keeping you around over Woo.
 17. Kass: Kass.
  17. Jeff: It hurts to have you this low, but you made your own bed last week with your post-challenge meltdown. Tandrew only needed you for one week and they seem like the type to value Woo’s challenge prowess over your vote.

‘Survivor’s’ Jenn and Max Accept the ‘Second Chance’ Power Rankings Challenge

September 23, 2015

Jenn Brown and Max Dawson (CBS)

Quick Note: XFINITY TV sent me deep into the Cambodian wilderness to bring you all kinds of “Survivor: Second Chance” goodness. So, be sure to check back for exclusive interviews, photos, and behind-the-scenes tidbits. And, follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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For as much as I hate the “Dirty 30” nickname, I do adore the “Worlds Apart” cast. And, now that the three-combatant barrier as broken last season with Josh and Reed, it made sense to do it again to include some of my favorite peeps. So, I’m proud to announce that Jenn Brown and Max Dawson have both stepped up to accept the “Survivor: Second Chance” Challenge.

The Rules: Each week our three combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the three players will earn.  At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Second Chance” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

NOTE: Because I was in attendance for the first Tribal Council of this season, I know who was voted out. Therefore, the first round of the Jenn vs. Max vs. Gordon showdown will take place next week. But to hold you over, we’ve asked Jenn and Maxx to give us their thoughts on which player will be voted out first…

Any questions for Jenn? Drop her a line on Twitter: @jenncantdance
Any questions for Max? Drop him a line on Twitter: @fymaxwell
 1. Terry: He is amazing and I love him. Also he’s probably going to be at or near the top of my Power Rankings most of the time because I hope he wins…so get used to it, guys. (But really he’s a strategic player, well respected, strong, and put on a tribe with some other old-school players so I think he will be just fine for a while.)
 1. Monica: When all of the challenge beasts and scenery-chewing screen-time monsters have annihilated one another, who will be left standing? Calm, level-headed social gamers like Monica. Monica is one Second Chancer who’d benefit immensely from not changing a thing about the game she played her first time out. If she can once again install herself as the loyal lieutenant of her tribe’s leader and avoid direct conflict she’ll last a long time in this game.
 2. Keith: KEITH NALE! I love me some Keith. After Greg Buis he’s probably one of my favorite “Survivor” players ever. Down to earth, awesome to be around, and a nice dude. I see him going far.
 2. Stephen: During the “Second Chance” campaign a lot was made about how this Know It All’s knowledge of the game would make him an early target. I didn’t buy it then and I don’t buy it now. When the excitement of the marooning wears off and the monotonous reality of camp life sets in the members of the Bayon tribe will quickly realize that Fishy is exactly the sort of guy you want to be stranded on an island with. Loyal. Hard working. Conscientious. A great conversationalist. Stephen is not going anywhere for awhile.
 3. Jeremy: One of my favorites from 29. He got screwed on the jury, but was semi-avenged by Nat, so I’m thinking this go around he’s not going to let that happen again. My only concern is he is also a challenge beast, and that puts a target on him when he gets to the merge.
 3. Kelley: The biggest challenge that Kelley Wentworth will face in the first stage of the game is overcoming social-media withdrawal. Otherwise, unless there is a challenge that requires the castaways to drop a freestyle, Kelley won’t have to break a sweat until well after the merge.
 4. Andrew: This dude is on a tribe with Joe, Jeremy, Tasha, and himself. I don’t think there is any way they are losing the first challenge. The only real brawn person the other tribe has is Terry.  Savage is a beast and also super smart. I think he is going to be just dandy for a while, just like the three above him.  4. Woo: Everybody loves a puppy – at least until you leave that puppy home alone and he breaks into a cabinet and helps himself to some people food. Bad dog. No million dollars for you. Woo should be fine for awhile, provided he plays the loyal lapdog instead of the stealthy weasel.
 5. Kelley: Well she made no impression on me in 29. Hell, I hardly even remember her from 29. I have a bad memory. But she’s cute and on a tribe with some newbies and another chick with her same name, so maybe they’ll team up and be besties. However seeing as she was a pre-merge in her very recent season, she probably feels like she has a lot to prove and has had some time to figure out what she needs to do differently to stay around longer. I’m rooting for her.  5. Keith: By the time you start worrying about Keith Nale it’s already too late. During the first few days of the game Keith’s Bayon tribemates are going to appreciate his work ethic, his easy-going nature, and his challenge prowess. Fast forward three weeks and they’ll be kicking themselves for not getting rid of him when they had the chance.
 6. Jeff: This dude is hilarious. I hope he goes far. I wish he read the news for me every morning where I lived, but I can’t live in the humidity down south, so I will just have to hope he’s on for a while so I can hear him talk.
 6. Kelly: Do you even watch this show, bro?
 7. Shirin: I love Shirin.
 7. Jeremy: Mark my words: Jeremy and Andrew will be swinging their arms in unison by the end of the first episode.
 8. Tasha: Also a challenge beast. I don’t think she will be out first.
 8. Andrew: I refuse to call him Savage. I’m sorry.
 9. Joe: Joe is like a brother to me. I love him to death. He is a challenge dominator and on a tribe with two others that are just like him, only older. This puts him in a bad position, being the young gun with two older fellows with more life/people experience. I think he will be around til right before the merge. If they let him get to the merge I think it’s a big mistake, because he has the possibility of Mike Holloway-ing his way to the end.
 9. Terry: Captain America and Captain ‘Merica. Both faced seemingly insurmountable odds in the post-merge game. Both found hidden immunity idols. Both won five individual immunity challenges. The difference between these patriotic “Survivor” übermenschen? Strategy. Mike understood it. Terry didn’t. As a result, Mike has a million dollars, while Terry doesn’t. Fortunately for Terry it probably doesn’t matter at this point in the game. Just win, Terry, and if you don’t make a big speech about “keeping the tribe strong” while looking at Shirin or Peih Gee or Abi.
 10. Stephen: See “Spencer Bledsoe” but with more life experience.
 10. Tasha: Who did you have in your office pool as “Most likely to annoy everyone at pre-game Ponderosa”? Abi? Shirin? Kimmi? Who would have ever guessed that Tasha would take that distinction? A lot of people seem to have been put off by Tasha’s behavior in the week leading up to the start of the game. That said, given her superior athleticism Tasha should be good for awhile. I wouldn’t even be surprised to see her bro down with Andrew and Jeremy.
 11. Ciera: I have no opinion on her really. She won’t be a first boot but I can’t see her winning. Very middle of the road. Also, she voted out her mom. That’s not cool.
 11. Peih-Gee: The only thing that Peih-Gee could do to screw things up at this point is to link up with Shirin and Abi.
 12. Woo: Athletic, but also has a reputation with the castaways for being a weasel. I don’t see him making it far because of that, but he slipped through the cracks last time so I guess we will see.
 12. Ciera: Did you know that Ciera voted out her mom? No, really, she voted out her mom. Like, she cast a vote that had her mom’s name on it. At Tribal Council. On “Survivor.” And then her mom went home. Actually she went to Redemption Island. Yeah, Redemption Island. It was like Last Chance Kitchen, but worse. But yeah. She voted out her mom.
 13. Spencer: Spencer is a nice dude. But, he’s also like Max Dawson; analytical, and likes the sound of his own voice saying the words “Survivor.” If he makes it past the first couple Tribals he’ll be OK at the merge, but I can’t see that happening just yet.
 13. Jeff: Conference calls. Crotchframing. Neti pots. Hit lists. Untying knots. Holding children. Has any other “Survivor” contestant ever been more guilty of “too fast too soon”? Even if the rakish Varner were to be voted out first he still would leave a lasting impact on this season due to his aggressive pre-gaming.
 14. Kelly: She has had literally 15 years to think about how she came in second. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for her. Honestly, I don’t know too much about her because the last time I saw her play I was eight. But I’m going to put her here because I don’t think she’s a first boot but not a winner either.
 14. Joe: Instead of text I wish I could just insert here the GIF Joe smiling from the opening credit sequence. Joe’s charm alone should be enough to get him through the first few votes. Unfortunately, his challenge skills should be enough to get him voted out after a tribe swap.
 15. Kimmi: See “Kelly Wiglesworth”
 15. Shirin: Shirin’s best play is to lay low and stay as far under the radar as possible for the first few votes. Do I think that she can do that? Not a chance. As was the case in “Worlds Apart,” Shirin is here to play, and it appears that many of her tribe mates want to play with her. Her choice of partners will seal her fate, much as it did her first time out. My advice to my former partner in crime: avoid aligning with the Max Who Doesn’t Suck at all costs.
 16. Monica: Doesn’t really stand out of the crowd for me. I don’t remember her at all from her first season.
 16. Vytas: Vytas’ name has been coming up a lot in pre-game press. So have words like “calculated,” “sneaky,” and “trouble.” As a yoga teacher, a college-level math instructor, and a newly-reformed bad boy Vytas is the definition of a “Survivor” triple threat. Sure, he’s dangerous. But would his fellow Ta Keo tribe members really go after Bad Aras this early in the game? Ta Keo would have to be crazy to write Vytas’ name down. Unfortunately for Vytas, Ta Keo ended up with most of this season’s crazy people.
 17. Peih-Gee: She’s super nice, but from her previous season can be super confrontational. I don’t think that bodes well for her, just like it doesn’t for Abi-Maria.
 17. Abi-Maria: Were Abi’s interpersonal conflicts with her Phillipines rivals products of cross-cultural misunderstandings or side effects of the world’s longest bout of PMS? Ta Keo is about to find out.
 18. Vytas: I’m not spelling that last name – Vytas has a target on his back from the start I think because of his betrayal of Aras from the last season. I can’t see anyone wanting to work with or trust him after he would do that to his own brother. I wouldn’t trust him, and if they go to Tribal I see him in the running for first boot along with Abi, Spencer, and Peih-Gee.
 18. Kimmi: Kimmi is light. Kimmi is joy. I would say Kimmi is my spirit animal but I’d be lying. Randy Bailey is my spirit animal. I’m worried, though. I’m worried that the first time Bayon loses an immunity challenge Savage and Jeremy and Tasha are going to target her as the tribe’s “weakest link.”
 19. Abi-Maria: Judging on her last season, I cannot see her making it far. She’s going to blow up at something completely minuscule and piss off everyone. In the running for first boot if they go to Tribal.
 19. Spencer: I can imagine Varner convening special conference calls for the sole purpose of talking about Spencer’s crotch framing. “Can you believe him? The nerve! He can’t keep his hands off it. Every time I go on the computer it’s like he’s trying to shove that thing down my throat.” With each additional mention of the lad’s nads Shane grows more incensed. “What are we even DOING talking about this $%$?” he screams into the shattered face of his iPhone. Wiglesworth remains silent. Is she even on the call still? Returning players vote for strategic purposes, but they also take into consideration screen time. No one in this cast gets more of that ego-sustaining substance than the reigning Mr. “Survivor.” That fact alone puts Spencer at grave risk of being the first voted out this season.
  20. Kass: I would love to see her as a first boot. But I can’t see it because I can’t see her tribe losing, but I also can’t see her making it far at all. She pisses off people (and seems to enjoy it, which I can’t fault her for). And just because I can’t see it happening doesn’t mean it won’t. So she’s here.
 20. Kass: Kass.

‘Survivor’ Castaway Jenn – “I Tried to Steal a Taxidermy Squirrel from a Bar Last Night”

April 24, 2015

"Survivor: Worlds Apart" (CBS)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Josh Canfield and Reed Kelly. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

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Jenn Brown: Gordon! What’s up?
Gordon Holmes: I’m alright, how are you?
Brown: I think I tried to steal a taxidermy squirrel from a bar last night. But, I’m alright. (Laughs)
Holmes: (Laughs) Exactly the response I was expecting. What was the total number of whiskey bottles consumed at Ponderosa?
Brown: (Laughs) Oh God, let’s not play that game. There were seven cast members there and we had a blast.

Holmes: Let’s talk about Wednesday’s horrific, nightmare episode of “Survivor.”
Brown: Oh my God.
Holmes: We’ll start with Mike and his decision to try to trick Carolyn and Dan into buying their letters.
Brown: I thought that was smart.
Holmes: It’s clever, I don’t know how smart it was. What was the reaction at the time?
Brown: I wasn’t paying attention. (Laughs) I had my drink, I was stoked. I didn’t give a (expletive deleted) what those people were doing. Everyone else seemed to think that all hell had broken loose and that was the worst thing to happen in the history of everything. I didn’t care. I was like, “Do it, Mike! That’s great.” I would’ve done the exact same thing if I cared. And then everyone was like, “You’re a horrible person, Mike!” I think the only mistake he made was giving it back. Dude, you didn’t reap any of the benefits and you got all of the heat. That was a reason for everyone to hate Mike. I thought everyone way overreacted.
Holmes: Was that the move that caused Dan and Sierra to flip over to Rodney?
Brown: Dan said that’s why he left Mike. I don’t know if I believe him. Once Joe was gone we needed a new threat. I don’t know what happened there, honestly. We just knew that Mike was next. Shirin isn’t a challenge threat, so let’s get rid of Mike. They weren’t going to come with us ever anyway. It was fun to watch though.

Holmes: Were you working with Mike at all before the auction?
Brown: Nope. Not at all. But Mike was exiled from the group. Right when we came back from the auction, Mike outted Rodney, which I also thought was smart. He made Sierra and Dan see that they were on the bottom of that six-person alliance. So, Mike was outcast and nobody would talk to him. Shirin was already outcast for reasons unknown. I have no idea why everyone hated her. And then I outcast myself. I was like, “I don’t want to be around you awful people.”

Holmes: When Will blew up last night, why was he focused on Shirin? It seems like all three of you were having doubts about Will’s food reward.
Brown: I wasn’t there. I heard Will stomping down the beach, swearing…from like half a beach away. I was like, “I’m out.” I don’t like fighting. I bailed to the cave and found out about it twenty minutes later when Shirin came to me crying. I don’t know if I believed it at the time. I believed it happened, but I didn’t believe it was that bad until I heard it from everyone.

Holmes: Had Will shown any aggression like that before?
Brown: Will was always the sweetest person to me. He gave me extra food.  He was so nice. And to this day he’s still incredibly kind…to me. He blew up because we went looking for more food because we were bored. It was like a treasure hunt for us. But the thing that blew my mind was that he acted that way to Shirin with so much malice and hate that came from some deep, dark place and he was horrible to Mike. He yelled at Mike. And then to me he pulled me aside and was like, “Jenn, I respect you. I’m not going to blow up at you like that. I just wanted to let you know that I still love you, girl.” Then he walked away. I did the same (expletive deleted) thing that they did! What?! What?! Why?! Why didn’t he yell at me?!
Holmes: Probably because it was more socially acceptable within that group to single out Shirin.
Brown: Shirin and I got such opposite treatment for the same scenario. It made no sense to me. He was so horrible to Shirin. Even when I released the chickens…
Holmes: Wait, what?
Brown: They didn’t show it, but I released the chickens. They were my babies. And nobody got mad. They were like, “Oh, Jenn.”
Holmes: You rascal.
Brown: I was like “What the (expletive deleted) guys!” Carolyn was like, “Oh Jenn, you’re so crazy.” I just threw out your food!
Holmes: You were expecting more, “Damn it, Jenn! Chicken liberator!”
Brown: (Laughs) “Chicken liberator” is the worst thing I’ve ever been called.
Holmes: (Laughs) You had it coming.

Holmes: So, last week you wanted to win immunity so you could give it to Joe. When I talked to him, I don’t think he 100% bought that. Was that your plan?
Brown: A million percent. At that point, I was like these people are mean people. Not all of them. Some of them were just mean. They were mean to each other. I didn’t like how they were treating my friends. So, I’m going to do everything I can to mess with what they want to do. They want Joe gone? Cool, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t leave. I just wanted to see what I could get away with. I stole all the food. Me, Shirin, and Sierra? We stole everything and we buried it under the ladies couch. We’d go out and eat our dinner there.
Holmes: The ladies couch?
Brown: Oh yeah, when you saw Mike and I talking this past episode and you saw me laying on a piece of wood? That was the ladies couch. Only ladies were allowed. We allowed Mike to be there a couple of times.
Holmes: That sounds delightful.
Brown: We had a lot of bonding moments. Sierra will deny this, but since I cooked all the food…her, Shirin, and I realized, these guys are suffering so hard…the last week of the game, let’s make sure there’s no food so they will maybe die and we’ll be fine. So, I’d throw in more scoops of rice. We’d hide things just to make sure we ran out of food. It was so much fun.
Holmes: So, you might be responsible for the first “Survivor” starvation death.
Brown: Right?! When they found out they were pissed.

Holmes: Alright, word association time. Let’s start with…
Brown: What words will not be “expletive deleted”? I know (expletive deleted) will be “expletive deleted” and (expletive deleted).
Holmes: Yeah, those are two big ones.
Brown: But, what about “bitch”?
Holmes: We bonded in Nicaragua, so I’ll give you a pass on that one. Just stay away from those first two.
Brown: That’s so nice. Everybody plans their (expletive deleted) word associations.
Holmes: Which defeats the purpose!
Brown: I know! But we know it’s coming.
Holmes:  Alright, make me proud. Let’s start with Nina.
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Vince?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: I don’t like where this is headed. Rodney?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Mike?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Shirin?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Joe?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Max?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Dan?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Sierra?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Will?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Tyler?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Carolyn?
Brown: (Expletive deleted).
Holmes: Hali?
Brown: She loves nature.

Holmes: (Laughs) That was terrible.
Brown: That was one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I’m sorry you had to be there for it.
Holmes: Yeah, but we got through it together. We’re stronger people for it.
Brown: We are. We bonded. I feel like we have to go to counseling.
Holmes: I agree. I’d like to talk to someone about it.
Brown: We need to discuss this on a couch with a guy who has elbow patches.

Holmes: When you went down in the numbers after the merge, were there any other inroads to make with anyone or were they all locked off?
Brown: My fate was sealed. There was nothing we could have done. Shirin and I and Hali tried every route. We did literally everything we could. And even to this day, they say to us, “You did everything you could have.” You can only run into a brick wall so many times before you’re like, “(Expletive deleted) this.”

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes


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