“Survivor: One World” is down to its final five as we head into this Sunday’s finale. In an effort to make what is sure to be a thrilling evening even more thrilling-er, we here at More Whatnot have put together a fun-filled game of “Survivor” finale bingo…
How to Play: Print out the BINGO game boards below. During the finale, fill in your spaces. The first person to complete a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal five-square line wins!
Even More Whatnot…
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The “Survivor” off season is finally upon us. While for most people that means an extra hour free on Wednesday nights, for me it means a break from Power Rankings, episode recaps, and exit interviews. I hardly know what to do with myself.
(That’s totally not true, I’m going to get to work rescuing Princess Zelda.)
What multiplies that workload is when it’s “Survivor” Hall of Fame time. On top of the previously mentioned work you’ve got coordinating executive committee votes, managing the vote tabulation team, creating art, updating the Web site, and about a dozen other things.
The art renaissance continues with a piece I did that depicts my favorite moment in “Survivor” history.
In it, Richard Hatch realizes that winning the final challenge will ultimately cost him the game. If he takes Rudy Boesch to the finals, the former Navy SEAL will clobber him. If he takes Kelly Wiglesworth, the jury will turn on him for stabbing his friend in the back. So, he quit. It ultimately won him a million dollars and turned me into a “Survivor” fan for life.
I had a team of hardcore “Community” fans help me with the judging of the contest, and we’ve come to the conclusion that the winner of a “Community” Season 1 DVD is…Will Baer. Here’s his winning entry…
“Well usually on Thursday, a little before 8 I mix up a batch of riot punch, then I drink that and go work with my black surgeon best friend at the local hospital, and after work I like find banana stands and burn them down”
Apparently any fan of “Always Sunny,” “Scrubs” and “Arrested Development” should be watching “Community.” Congrats to Will and thanks to everyone who entered.
INT. A LIVING ROOM – DAY
A GUY and a GIRL are seated on a couch together.
The guy uses the remote control to flip through the channels of an impressive television.
The girl isn’t interested in what’s on the television. She’s reading something on her phone.
GUY
Who do you think would win in a
fight between Rizzoli and Isles?
The girl doesn’t answer.
GUY
OK, what if it was Rizzoli and Franklin
against Isles and Bash?
The girl still doesn’t answer.
GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin and Cagney squaring
off against Isles, Bash, and Lacey?
Still no answer from the girl.
GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin, Cagney, and Starsky
versus Isles, Bash, Lacey, and Hutch?
The girl finally acknowledges the guy. She turns to him and gives him an annoyed look.
GUY
Rizzoli, Franklin, Cagney, Starsky, and
Hart in a no-holds-barred fight with
Isles, Bash, Lacey, Hutch, and Hart!
GIRL (sighing)
I guess Isles, Bash, Lacey, Hutch, and Hart.
GUY
What?! Right off the bat, you’re telling
me Hart wouldn’t cream Hart?
GIRL
Wait, which Hart is which?
GUY
I always assumed the male Hart was
billed first.
GIRL
Sexist…
The other day I was on YouTube watching Billy Joel’s “Pressure” video…
Oh wait, why would I be doing that? Because I’ll be singing “Pressure” this Saturday at Wilmington, Delaware’s Baby Grand Theater as part of The Joe Trainer Trio presents the Music of Billy Joel. If you’re in the area you should totally check it out. Tickets can be purchased HERE.
Anywho, two things occurred to me…
A. Music videos are awesome. I don’t want to be the billionth person to jump on the MTV-was-better-when-they-showed-music-videos-instead-of-softcore-pornography bandwagon, but scoot over and make some room.
B. A lot of the early music videos were really dark. As in, trouble-sleeping-at-night-because-visions-of-the-Piano-Man-being-tortured-are-a-little-too-much-for-my-adolescent-brain-to-handle dark.
So, here are some music videos that gave me the willies when I was a young-un…
As some of you may know, I appeared on Rob Cesternino’s “Rob Has a Podcast” er…podcast a few months ago to talk about CBS’s hit reality show “Survivor” and NBC’s cult favorite comedy “Community.”
Quick Question: Can you appear on a podcast if it’s only audio?
Odds are, due to Rob’s status as a “Survivor” favorite, that the majority of people listening to the podcast were there to hear about “Survivor.” At one point, Rob caught me off guard and asked me to give my best pitch as to why people should watch “Community.”
And I choked. I don’t remember what I said, but it was beyond stupid.
Had the “Survivor” dream again over the weekend. Here’s how it always goes…
I’m participating in an All-Star season of “Survivor.” The location changes; it’s been Gabon, it’s been Australia, it’s been Nicaragua. (EDIT: Once it was in King Koopa’s castle from ‘Mario Kart.’) The cast members change; Colby Donaldson, Jessica “Sugar” Kiper, Tamara “Taj” George, and others have made appearances.
Here’s what always stays the same…
UPDATE: Every Oscar’s “Recently Deceased” montage has a ridiculous exclusion. I have made a similar error. Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” is that exclusion. I apologize.
It’s often said when somebody prominent leaves their field that, “Everyone else moves up a spot.” If that’s true, then everybody in NBC’s Thursday comedy line-up was bumped up a spot a few weeks ago when Steve Carell left “The Office.”
So, who’s the new number one? Keep reading to find out…
Note: I had originally considered doing a “20 Least Funny Characters on ’30 Rock'” list, but Tina Fey has contacts in the Philadelphia area and I didn’t want her coming after me.
Another Note: As with any list I make, this is based on my tastes today. This could very well change within the next few minutes. So, if you think Creed Bratton was robbed, don’t worry. This is all one a–hole’s opinion anyway.
Yet Another Note: If you’re a fan of Rob Cesternino’s “Rob Has a Podcast,” you may recall that he and I discussed this list a few weeks ago. We’re bouncing around a similar (and in my opinion better) idea for an upcoming podcast. And if you’re not a fan of Rob’s podcast, you should be.
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