Archive for the ‘Life Whatnot’ Category

‘How Hard Could It Be?’ – Episode 1: The Otter Birthday Cake Debacle

August 18, 2011

When flipping channels, there are three things that must be watched until completion if they are stumbled upon…

  • ‘Rocky’ Movies
  • ‘Overboard’
  • ‘Cake Boss’

I don’t know what it is about Buddy and his lovable band of cake-a-teers (not a word) but I can’t get enough of ’em. Part of me is jealous of them. What an awesome job it must be to get to create edible works of art all day.

For some reason, I got it into my head that I could make my own super-cool cake. What gave me this idea? I don’t know. I’ve never baked anything, ever. But, I’ve watched the show a jillion times. Surely I’ve learned something through osmosis.

Note: My buddy at work is amused that I’m always trying stupid crap like this. He wants to create a pilot called “How Hard Could It Be?” where I watch a TV show and then try to duplicate the skill it’s taken them years to perfect. Sometimes it’ll turn out well like my clay “Community” snowman Senor Chang and sometimes it’ll turn out like the otter birthday cake…

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Adventures In Pregnancy – The Dorito Incident

August 15, 2011

My buddy at work seems to get a kick out of torturing her husband with odd, pregnant-lady food requests. I’m cool with this because I get a kick out of her stories. Here is but one of them…

Adventures in Pregnancy

Scenes from a Boston Market

August 1, 2011

INT. A BOSTON MARKET RESTAURANT – NIGHT

A GUY and a GIRL are patiently waiting for their order to be fulfilled. They are both standing at the register.

BOSTON MARKET WORKERS go about their business preparing the order.

The guy looks near the register and sees a large package of brownies. The package is labeled “Family Brownies.”

GUY
That’s sad.

GIRL
Why’s that?

GUY
Apparently all of those brownies are related.

GIRL
No, it’s good. They’ll all be together.

GUY
Yeah, but then they’ll have to see their family members be devoured.

GIRL
Touche.

END SCENE

Things I Would Do If I Was Pregnant

June 17, 2011

I know I exaggerate a lot on this blog, but believe me when I make the following statement…

Everyone around me is pregnant.

OK, maybe not the guys, but the majority of their wives are knocked up.

I’m cool with this. New beginnings, bundles of joy, life is beautiful, blah blah blah. My only concern is that I’m finding myself a bit jealous of the preggos.

No, not that I can’t enjoy the magic of what it must feel like to create a life. It just seems like a wonderful way to mess with people…as I’m about to illustrate.

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Things I Did on Vacation

June 6, 2011

The alliance partner and I finally took a non work-related, actual, honest-to-goodness vacation last month. I know, our friends and family were shocked too.

The location? An all-inclusive resort paradise located way to the south of Wilmington, Delaware.

While we were there, the following things happened…

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Help for the Fashion Challenged

February 24, 2011

I’m a big believer in experimenting with your look. That’s why I didn’t cut my hair for a year and a half.

Note: Actually, I’ve never cut my hair, but you know what I’m talking about.

Another Note: I’m the guy to the left in that picture. The guy on the right doesn’t have to worry about his hair at all. (But he does have a sweet Web series).

I always assumed I would let it grow until I was sick of it or until the alliance partner put her foot down. Oddly enough, that day never came. Despite how gross it was in the hot Nicaraguan sun, what a pain it was to dry, or how much it drove my frenemy Kerry nuts I still kinda liked it.

Yet Another Note: Truthfully, I loved how much Kerry hated it.

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Food Review: Wells Banana Bread Beer

February 4, 2011

“I like ketchup, I like milk. You put ketchup in milk? I don’t like it.” – Nathan Trate

That was the first quote that popped into my head when I saw a four pack of Wells Banana Bread Beer in the fridge at my local liquor store.

I do have a rule, however,  that I will try anything that’s an actual food. By that I mean, if some group of people somewhere actually eats something, I’ll give it a try. If you just give me some random piece of crap, I’ll pass. It’s like “Survivor.” They may eat gross things, but they’re gross things that are eaten by people who live in that area. Maybe that’s why I like the show so much.

Note: That’s a lie, the reason I like “Survivor” so much is because I’m convinced I could win. I get along with most people, have a knack for strategy, and am not afraid to get my hands dirty. Watch your back, Richard Hatch. (more…)

Scenes from a Barnes and Noble

February 1, 2011

My alliance partner and I were going over some business matters at the local Barnes and Noble when we noticed a stack of books (pictured to the left) on the table next to us.

It’s hard to tell from my crappy camera phone, but the titles included “Toxic Men,” “Emotional Freedom,” “The One-Way Relationship,” and “Why Does He Do That?” Never before had such a selection of titles painted such a clear picture of the mood the person must’ve been in who was reading them.

Is it wrong for me to judge this book (reader) based on their covers? Probably.

After all, I’d hate for anyone to make judgments on me based on the book I was thumbing through…

One Bed, Ten Pillows

January 6, 2011

If you look to the left, you’ll see a picture of my bedroom. Some would say it’s a bit forward of me to invite you into my bedroom, but we’re all friends here on morewhatnot.com.

Anywho…I love my bedroom. It’s located in my ancient house which is 120 years old, is located in a historical district, has original hardwood floors, and contains more pro wrestling and ‘Ghostbusters’ memorabilia than the law should allow.

Now if you take a close look at that photo, you’ll realize that there are a ton of pillows on my bed. Why would one bed require so many pillows? How many heads do I have? Chill out, pillow haters. I can explain.

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Straight Guy’s Shame

October 29, 2010

I love gay men.

I’m not even going to backtrack and say “Whoa…in a platonic way.” If you want to think I’m gay, go right ahead.

In fact, please think I’m gay. I’d consider it quite a compliment. I can count on one hand the gay men and women I’ve met in my life that I haven’t liked.

Unfortunately, I didn’t used to be so open minded about such things. Oh sure, I’ve always been fond of gay people and gay culture, but the fact that people would think I was gay used to bother me. In fact, a rumor that was spread about me and another guy in high school was downright distressing at the time. (more…)