Had the “Survivor” dream again over the weekend. Here’s how it always goes…
I’m participating in an All-Star season of “Survivor.” The location changes; it’s been Gabon, it’s been Australia, it’s been Nicaragua. (EDIT: Once it was in King Koopa’s castle from ‘Mario Kart.’) The cast members change; Colby Donaldson, Jessica “Sugar” Kiper, Tamara “Taj” George, and others have made appearances.
Here’s what always stays the same…
How I Think Money In the Bank Will End
The popular theory has Punk winning the world title, but dropping the belt to a Money In the Bank Winner (probably Alberto Del Rio). This sounds about right. As Chicago is booing the crap out of the ending, they’ll be able to pretend it’s because people are upset that the hated Del Rio is the champion, while they’ll be booing because Punk won’t be leaving with the title. Also, this allows them to avoid the “Fire Cena” stipulation.
Now let’s take a look at how I’d do it…
C.M. Punk truly has his finger on the pulse of today’s wrestling fan.
During last night’s live in-ring contract negotiation, he tried to convince WWE head Vince McMahon to bring back the beloved WWE Ice Cream Bar. For those of you who know nothing of this tasty treat, it’s basically an ice cream bar with chocolate on one side and a cookie featuring the image of a WWE superstar on the other.
Make this happen, Vince.
And God bless you, C.M. Punk.
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The eagerly-anticipated* Smurfs movie is hitting theaters in the next couple of weeks.
*Someone’s gotta be eagerly anticipating it…right?
Sadly, it simply isn’t possible for all of the Smurfs, Smurflings, and side characters such as Puppy, Johan, and Big Mouth to receive adequate screen time in a 90-minute film. Fortunately, we here at MoreWhatnot.com have scored an exclusive look at some of the Smurfs who didn’t make the final cut.
Tom Hanks’s latest directorial effort “Larry Crowne” was stomped into the ground this past weekend by a pack of poorly written transforming robots…
And it only received a 35% rating on Rottentomatoes.com…
And the trailer featured around forty of Julia Roberts’s trademark awkward laughs…
But there are still some reasons to love the guy, right?
Sometimes it’s tough being a pro wrestling fan.
For starters, everyone assumes you’re a moron who thinks it’s a legitimate athletic contest despite the fact that wrestling has been out of the closet (so to speak) since the mid 80s. Then there’s the ridiculous number of wrestlers who have dropped dead over the years due to drug use. And you can follow that up with storylines that sometimes border on the idiotic.
Not to mention the subtle (and not so subtle) racism, xenophobia, and homophobia.
Oh yeah…that.
I know I exaggerate a lot on this blog, but believe me when I make the following statement…
Everyone around me is pregnant.
OK, maybe not the guys, but the majority of their wives are knocked up.
I’m cool with this. New beginnings, bundles of joy, life is beautiful, blah blah blah. My only concern is that I’m finding myself a bit jealous of the preggos.
No, not that I can’t enjoy the magic of what it must feel like to create a life. It just seems like a wonderful way to mess with people…as I’m about to illustrate.
The alliance partner and I finally took a non work-related, actual, honest-to-goodness vacation last month. I know, our friends and family were shocked too.
The location? An all-inclusive resort paradise located way to the south of Wilmington, Delaware.
While we were there, the following things happened…
“That’s back when wrestling was real? Right?” – Bob Trate
My buddy Bob likes his nerdy stuff, I like mine. While he’s watching sci-fi epics, I’m watching guys in spandex pretend to beat each other up.
But what got me started? Why does anyone decide to watch pro wrestling? Some will say it’s the pageantry, others will say it’s the larger-than-life personas, some think it’s the death-defying stunts. I disagree. I think everybody who tunes in was originally hooked by a great storyline.
This was mine…
UPDATE: Every Oscar’s “Recently Deceased” montage has a ridiculous exclusion. I have made a similar error. Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” is that exclusion. I apologize.
It’s often said when somebody prominent leaves their field that, “Everyone else moves up a spot.” If that’s true, then everybody in NBC’s Thursday comedy line-up was bumped up a spot a few weeks ago when Steve Carell left “The Office.”
So, who’s the new number one? Keep reading to find out…
Note: I had originally considered doing a “20 Least Funny Characters on ’30 Rock'” list, but Tina Fey has contacts in the Philadelphia area and I didn’t want her coming after me.
Another Note: As with any list I make, this is based on my tastes today. This could very well change within the next few minutes. So, if you think Creed Bratton was robbed, don’t worry. This is all one a–hole’s opinion anyway.
Yet Another Note: If you’re a fan of Rob Cesternino’s “Rob Has a Podcast,” you may recall that he and I discussed this list a few weeks ago. We’re bouncing around a similar (and in my opinion better) idea for an upcoming podcast. And if you’re not a fan of Rob’s podcast, you should be.
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